The House Fan Fiction Archive

 

Paid In Full


by Jackyblu


You could call Greg House anything you wished, belligerent, irritating, bastardly, childish, but giving the devil his due you also had to include the adjectives brilliant, insightful, inquisitive, and usually right. The one thing no one who knew him would call him was a morning person. Not by the furthest stretch of the imagination could House be thought of as an 'early bird'. House definitely did not 'rise and shine'. He firmly believed that any and all mornings were better spent between the sheets.

Not that he could be blamed exactly. Sleep was not something that came easy to him. If he could get his mind to settle down and allow him to rest there was still the issue of his leg. The throbbing pain was with him twenty-four seven. During the day he could seek distractions to take his mind off it, well that and the Vicodin, which was his usual diet. He could get temporarily lost in an interesting case, or music, or his gameboy, or a television show, but eventually the pain in his leg over ruled all other distractions and he was forced to deal with it. Not dealing with it, never dealing with it was his personal preference. Escaping pain was a goal worth achieving.

The bedside phone rang. God what time is it? Seven? Seven in the freakin' morning! House moaned and pulled the pillow over his head. Wilson. He had forgotten he asked Wilson to give him a ride this morning. The bike was being temperamental and needed to be serviced. House had put it off until it wasn't safe to ride right now. He'd take care of it later in the week.

"House! I am outside your place and I know you're still in bed. Get up and get dressed. I am letting myself in and you'd better have your crippled ass up and getting ready or I'll drag you out of bed!"

House moaned again. As far as friends went James Wilson was a pain in the ass. As far as best friends went, James Wilson was simply the best. Not that House had a lot to compare him by. He had a small handful of friends while growing up. Being shuttled from one base to another made making friends difficult. As a boy Greg would meet one person, become friends and then be packed off to another base in another foreign country. He found it easier to make only one or two friends, that way he said fewer good-byes. James Wilson had been his friend longer than anyone, actually that wasn't saying much, but really it said everything.

House heard the door open to his apartment. "House!"

"Give me a minute."

"I'm making coffee. Get the hell up!"

"Jerk", House muttered under his breath. He threw off the covers and swung his legs carefully off the mattress and onto the floor. He sat there a moment trying to decide what sort of day it was going to be. Most people judge the day based on the weather or what project lay waiting for them at the office. House judged the day based on his pain level. He decided it was about a four and that put him in the 'not bad' range. He reached for the amber bottle on the side table and swallowed the first Vicodin of the day, just one. Moderation is the key he thought. See, not addicted. The scent of fresh coffee wafted into the bedroom. That helped him open both eyes a little wider. He rose from the bed and made his way to the bathroom. After the customary 'emptying of the bladder', House washed his hands and then his face trying to dislodge the sleep that had accumulated in them from a restful five hours of nocturnal bliss. God he looked old. Face creased with lines, hair graying, and thinning he thought remembering a comment Wilson made once. Nice. Any other depressing thoughts to start the day with? Oh yeah, he had clinic duty today, three joyful hours of it. "That's it! I'm going back to bed."

"Oh the hell you are!" An overly cheerful voice in the doorway arrived bearing coffee.

"A man's bathroom is his kingdom ya know."

"So next time close the door. Here." Wilson passed the steaming cup of coffee to House.

"Thanks." He set it down and picked up his toothbrush. He applied toothpaste and lowered his head so he could brush and not get foam and fluoride all over himself.

"Get moving or I'll chose the clothing you'll wear today. I'm thinking your gray suit and a pressed blue shirt and yellow tie."

House's head shot up alarmingly and his outraged look was reflected in the bathroom mirror. "You wouldn't dare!" Toothpaste dripped onto his white V-neck tee shirt.

Wilson grinned. "Actually I would. That's the thing about hanging around you, you can become an ass by osmosis."

"Cute."

"Many ladies agree with that assessment," Wilson said smugly, taking a sip of coffee.

"Oh Christ! Scat before I hurl."

"Scatting, and hurry up!" Wilson left House to finish getting ready.

Nope over all House wasn't having a bad day. Not a good one either. No cases were pending, nothing to hold his interest and three hours of clinic duty ahead. Damn. There had to be a way to make this day better. He would mess with his team's minds, except they were gone. Foreman had quit; Chase he fired and Cameron resigned in solidarity with Chase. It was time for a change, although maybe not this big a change. Well, no use sighing over scattered ducklings. Was it worth going in just to sit around until it was time to cover the clinic? Not hardly! So many other truly enjoyable things to do. Such as? Pestering Wilson came to mind. Searching for rare blues albums, going to a monster truck rally, having Wilson buy him lunch were all equally acceptable. Having Wilson buy him lunch at a stripper joint? Getting better! House smiled at the idea of a very uncomfortable James Wilson, boy genius oncologist and all around good guy trying to eat a sandwich while a scantily clad woman gyrated above his plate. Wait! On second thought James would want to TALK to her and try and convince her that she was beautiful and didn't need to do this sort of debasing thing for a living. Then before you know it; Oh Daddy oh; she is prancing up the aisle in a modest see-through frock to be the fourth Mrs. James Wilson. House shook the image out of his head. Maybe the strip club could wait for a less sober moment.

"House!"

"All right!"

House limped from the bathroom back into his bedroom. He picked up the jeans he had thrown across a chair the night before and then rummaged in his dresser for a shirt. He chose a blue one with skulls, flowers and a motorcycle. Cool! He found socks and his gray and green Nikes. Donning those he picked up his cane and his suit jacket and groused his way into his living room. "This is an ungodly hour of the morning to be awake."

"Good thing you don't believe in God then." Wilson answered from the comfort of House's couch and his second cup of coffee.

"If I stop believing in you, will you go away?"

"Nope. I'm the ghost of PPTH present and I am here to haunt you all the way to work Ebenzer House!" Wilson attempted a scary face that almost made House laugh.

Hose raised his cane. "See this? It's my ghost-buster!"

"Wow pissy mood this morning."

"It is seven thirty in the damn morning! I require my beauty sleep."

Wilson looked at House. "That was such an uncharacteristically straight line I am not going to make a joke of it for fear it's a trap."

"Wise move." House dropped onto the couch and put his feet up. "Get me another cup of coffee."

"Yeah," Wilson said settling himself more comfortably on the couch. "I'll get right on that master."

House scowled at him. "Hey! What ever happened to nice Jimmy Wilson the guy who can't do enough for people?" House asked as he grudgingly rose from the couch.

"He's dead. Slain by a tall scruffy guy who can squelch all hope and human kindness at will."

"Jerk." House huffed as he limped into the kitchen to get another cup of coffee.

"I must be, hanging around with you as much as I do," Wilson commented beneath his breath, not that he'd change that fact for a moment. House was like any other addictive substance, a hard habit to break.

House returned from the kitchen trying to limp carefully so as not to spill the coffee he carried in his left hand. He held a bagel in his mouth heavily coated with a cream cheese and herb concoction known to bagel aficionados as smear. He returned to his place on the couch carefully.

Wilson pointed at the bagel. "You couldn't have brought me one of those for showing up here to be your chauffeur?"

He removed the bagel from his mouth. "Sorry, tried to place it on the handle of my cane but it kept slipping off. My next choice was to unzip my jeans and..."

"HOUSE!"

"What? You asked," House answered taking a satisfied bite of his bagel.

"I'm sorry!"

"Should be," House said speaking with a mouth full of bagel.

"We really need to be going."

"Why?" House asked licking smear from his fingers.

"Because we have jobs and a boss who gets cranky if we don't come to work."

"So?"

"So...what?"

"Exactly!"

"No I mean, 'So' what are you getting at?"

"Oh. What I mean is will Cuddy be any less cranky if I'm there?"

Wilson considered carefully. "No," he answered honestly. "I think just your aura can set her off. Doesn't change the fact that people who pay us, really want us to be there."

"Can't always get what you want."

"We aren't going to have one of those discussions where for everything I say you quote a line from a song are we?"

"No. I'll stop in the name of love."

"Yeah. Think it Oh-oh-ver, before I kill you!"

"Touchy! You need a day off."

"Probably."

"We need a day off!"

"We? YOU are most of the stress in my life!"

"A relaxed House is a happy House. Therefore less stress for you."

Wilson considered the idea. "Hmm. I can't think of the last time I just took time off, excluding the whole being fired thing." Wilson looked pointedly at House.

"Whoops. My bad. I didn't tell you to stick up for me you know."

"I know. I just didn't want to see you lose your job."

"You're pathetic. Did you think I couldn't get another one somewhere?"

"No. I was afraid you would."

"That was so sentimental."

"No it was practical. You owe me money. I didn't want you skipping out." Wilson took another drink from his coffee and found it a little hard to swallow.

House took a drink from his own mug and found Wilson's comment a little hard to swallow. "I would have kept in touch."

"Right. You never call unless you need something."

"And so?"

"You're right. You WOULD have kept in touch," Wilson answered with a 'tut' of frustration tinted with humor.

"Yup," House answered thickly through another bite of bagel.

Wilson drained his mug and shot a glance at his watch. "Let's go. Cuddy is going to have our heads if we're late."

House glanced sideways at Wilson. "It's the 11th. Not the part she's most interested in at the moment."

"What? Why?"

"She's ovulating."

"Huh? Ew! How do you know that? No wait! Don't tell me."

House smiled and finished his bagel. He licked the last residues of smear off his fingers and picked up his mug taking another drink of coffee. If Wilson had any faults, and there were several in House's opinion, making coffee or in fact anything in the kitchen was not one of them.

Wilson got to his feet. "Okay you've finished breakfast. Let's get going." He made a few steps toward the door. "House get your lazy ass off the couch or take the bus in today. I'm not kidding."

House responded by shifting on the couch so that he could pull his cell phone from his pocket. He pressed number 666 on his cell phone and listened as the office phone of Dr. Lisa Cuddy rang.

"Dr. Cuddy."

"Cuddy! House here."

"House? Why aren't you HERE!"

"Staying with a sick friend today."

"You have a friend?"

"Oh snap. Yes I have a friend and he is not feeling well. So I am going to stay with him until he is better. It's the kind thing to do."

"YOU doing something kind for someone? What's the catch House? Does this person have a kidney you'll be harvesting later as they sleep?" Lisa Cuddy smirked at the thought of House's reaction to that comment. Privately she didn't mind these mental sparring matches with House. It kept her on her toes.

I've got her off balance now, House thought with a smile. She'll focus on the kindness comment and forget about the rest.

Cuddy took a glance at her desk clock. It was a gift from Dr. James Wilson last Christmas. Neither she nor Wilson celebrated Christmas, but it was a thoughtful gesture. "House this 'sick friend' wouldn't happen to be my head of Oncology would he?"

"Well by happy coincidence..."

"Put him on the phone. Or do you have him tied up in your basement."

"Well that's harsh. I don't even have a basement."

"Put him on the phone House!"

House made a face and handed the phone to Wilson. "Remember she's in a delicate state right now."

Wilson took the phone and rolled his eyes at House. He covered the receiver with his hand. "Why do you always put me in these awkward situations?"

House shrugged.

He took his hand from the receiver. "Wilson."

"Does he have a gun to your head? Should I call the police?"

Wilson answered while looking steadily at House, "No he doesn't have a gun to my head. He doesn't own anything more lethal than his charm, which explains the need for hookers on Friday nights."

House stuck his tongue out at Wilson.

Wilson covered the receiver again. "Childish," he stage whispered.

House stuck his hands up by his head creating something like antlers. He wiggled his fingers and crossed his eyes for added effect.

"Jesus," Wilson sighed shaking his head.

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry. Just appealing to a higher court."

"I am the higher court. He's pouting like a child isn't he?"

"Not exactly. He's holding his breath and kicking his feet upon the floor though."

"Figures," Cuddy checked her computer for House's schedule. He didn't have any cases pending. He was behind with his paperwork but that was House. Without Cameron to do most of it for him it would slow to a trickle. 'I can find someone to help him with it,' she thought, not really a big worry. He has clinic duty today. 'Well he has done his share without too much gripping the last couple of weeks. Maybe he deserves a reward. There was also the fact that in spite of the constant pain he was in, House always, eventually showed up for work. She changed to Wilson's schedule. He had a follow-up that could be delegated to one of his other doctors. His calendar was clear. Knowing Wilson his plans for today was paperwork and more paperwork. She came to a decision. "Rest up and drink plenty of fluids. I'll see you both tomorrow."

"You're kidding."

"Not at all. Take him to the zoo. Feed him peanuts. Give the animals something to stare at for a change."

"Are you sure?"

"He's YOUR problem today Dr. Wilson. Have fun." She hung up the phone smiling at the thought of Wilson trying to talk her out of it.

"Thanks a lot," Wilson sighed to dead air. Reluctantly he looked at House who was lounging on the couch and trying to balance his cane by the tip on the palm of his hand.

"What's the verdict?"

Wilson stared into space. "I'm guilty and sentenced to spend the entire day with you."

"Excellent!" He got to his feet. "Well let's go!"

The sudden movement caused Wilson to come out of his revelry. "What? Where are we going?"

House limped to his front door. "First you are going to buy me breakfast. Then, who knows?"

The indignation at being told he would be buying breakfast caused Wilson's hands to attach to his hips. "Cuddy suggests I take you to the zoo so the animals can see they aren't so low on the evolutionary scale after all."

"Zoo is out. Too much walking."

"I can't believe I have been saddled with entertaining you today!"

"Nor can I, but a mandate by our Dean of Medicine must be followed." House opened the front door and indicated that Wilson should proceed him out.

Wilson looked up at the ceiling. "God? What did I ever do to disserve this?"

"You were in the right place at the right time," House answered softly. "Just when I needed you."

"The first time we met you borrowed lunch money," Wilson responded refusing to be suckered in by a seeming attempt at sincerity.

"See. Providence!"

Wilson walked out of the apartment and waited a moment while House locked his door. "There is a Quentin Tarentino double feature at the Strand," Wilson mentioned with a glance at House.

"Hmm, large breakfast followed by gut churning horror. Perfect! Then what?" They walked to the curb where Wilson's car was parked.

"What do you mean, then what?" Wilson dug out his car keys and opened the door for House.

"I mean what are we doing after?" House climbed in the passenger seat, carefully assisting his right leg and placing his cane next to him. He closed the door and waited expectantly for Wilson to get in and start the car.

"You really are like a kid aren't you? Buy me this. Take me here."

Now House pouted. "You were instructed to entertain me."

Wilson checked his mirrors as he pulled away from the curb. "Entertain you, not empty my bank account on you."

"Jeez you're a cheap date."

"Where did you take Cameron on your date again?"

"Hey that was a nice place."

"You slipped the waiter a coupon for God's sake!"

"A penny saved..."

"Is a penny stolen from your best friend."

"I paid you back."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did! I remember it clearly. It was after I got shot. You and I were talking about the case I was working on. The guy with the swollen tongue?"

Wilson's voice softened. "House, you hallucinated that."

"I did?"

"Yes."

"So how do you know I didn't hallucinate borrowing money from you to take Cameron to dinner?"

"Because that would have had to have been my hallucination."

"Sort of like the conversation we are having now."

"No this sadly is real. I can tell by the pain in my wallet."

"So where are we going after the movie?"

"I was thinking of Chan's Mongolian Grill and then to a museum."

"A museum? Isn't that where you take your dates?" House gave Wilson a very concerned look.

"Art museums. I was thinking of the automotive museum. Much better for the, 'we're not together, two guy kind of outing."

"Oh. Is that the place that has the car Steve McQueen drove in 'Bullet'?"

"So I hear."

"Marry me."

"I can't afford you. Find someone else to keep you."

"No one else wants me."

"Cameron did."

"She didn't make the kind of money you do."

"Did. Three alimony payments remember?"

"Now you remind me! After she has gone on a wild duckling 'Chase'." He grinned at his own wit.

"That was terrible."

"Critic."

"Idiot."

"Enabler."

"Addict!"

"Whoa. Big guns out today. Hmm let's see. Needy bastard."

Wilson slid his eyes at House while turning into the parking lot of their favorite breakfast haunt. "Needy bastard." Wilson parked as close to the front door as he could.

"Hold it! That violates the rules of the game. NO repeats!" House opened the car door and pushed himself to his feet.

Wilson opened his door and stepped out. "Sorry. Emotionally barren child of questionable birth."

"Funny. Just for that I am ordering the BIG breakfast.

"Order anything you like from the senior's menu," Wilson shot back while he held the door open for House.

House limped through and tried to bring his cane down on Wilson's foot. Wilson moved it out of practice. "Ass," he hissed at House.

"Moron." House hissed back.

They were shown to a table and House true to his word ordered the BIG breakfast a coke and a side order of potato pancakes that he had no intention of eating. He entertained himself by tearing bits off his napkin and blowing spit wads at Wilson.

A nicely curved waitress with blue eyes and short blond hair refilled Wilson's coffee and brought House a fresh coke. She noticed the small paper wads all around Wilson. "Autistic," Wilson confided to the woman.

"Oh," she gave House a quick look over. "That's too bad," she made a motion as if to pat him on the back.

"Careful," Wilson warned. "He bites."

House moved toward her hand and barred his teeth as if he were about to remove a chunk of it. The woman pulled her hand back in alarm and hurried away from their table. The two doctors watched her retreating backside and burst into fits of snickering.

"Mmm. Must be jelly cause jam don't move like that!" Wilson said in admiration.

"Nice funbags too. Thank God women have finally decided to put some meat on their bones."

"You speaking as a doctor or a member of the hetero men's club?"

"Both," House admitted as he sucked on his straw. "Skin and bones are not healthy nor a bit appealing."

"You DO have a thing for Cuddy!"

"Do not!"

"Do to!"

"I haven't taken her out to a museum or the theatre!"

"You would have but she turned you down."

"I wasn't serious."

"Yes you were!"

"Nah uh."

"Uh huh!"

The stilted conversation came to a halt when the waitress returned with their food. She placed Wilson's plate before him but looked nervously at House.

"You'll be safer standing on this side of the table," Wilson warned.

She did so, leaning over far enough to deposit plates in front of House. He got a full look down her audaciously loaded low cut top. He growled at her causing her to jerk back. It made her cargo sway to and fro. She hurried away again.

"Thanks. I owe you for that," House smiled as he started in on his eggs.

"You're welcome," Wilson nodded as he poured syrup on his pancakes. "Don't be expecting popcorn at the movies."

"I was hoping for something soft and jiggly," House answered watching the progress of the waitress around the restaurant.

"Aren't we all," Wilson agreed watching their waitress too.

"Oh no you don't pal," House said observing Wilson. "Another alimony payment and I will need to find someone in a higher income bracket."

"Well that would be a shame wouldn't it? Wonder if I can propose to her on her break? We can be in Vegas by tonight."

"You just don't learn do you?'

"Apparently not since I am sitting here with you."

"You were more fun before you became so cynical. When did that start?"

"When did we meet?" Wilson asked as he picked up his cup and took a drink.

"Ten years ago today."

Wilson sputtered on his coffee. "Today? Really?"

"Yup. Happy Anniversary."

"Oh God House I'm sorry. I didn't ..."

"Know? Remember?" House closed his eyes and shrugged. "Forget it."

"I guess I already did. I'm sorry." Wilson looked at House and really did feel badly. House had remembered the occasion and he had not. Did this mean that this screwed-up friendship of theirs really meant less to him than it did to House? "House. I'm sorry."

"Would you stop beating yourself up! I wouldn't have remembered if I hadn't found a damn card you gave me after the infarction."

He kept a card I gave him? I never would have guessed that. Just when I think I have him figured out he saves a greeting card. Pathetic that's what House would say. Damn it. No! I did not just think in his voice.

The waitress brought the check and Wilson pulled out his wallet. He placed the money on the table. House pushed it 'accidentally' onto the floor. The waitress bent over to pick it up giving Wilson a satisfying view forward and House a splendid view aft. Apparently she realized that she had left the rear unguarded too near an established threat. She moved quickly with sufficient bounce to make both men smile. She thanked Wilson and scurried away to regroup and count her overly generous tip.

"Wow," Wilson breathed as he watched her go.

"Paid in full?" House asked also following the curvy form as it walked away from them.

"Oh yeah!

House raised his glass. "Happy anniversary Jimmy."

Wilson smiled and lifted his coffee cup. "Same to you Greg. And here's to another ten."

'CLINK'


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Legal Disclaimer: The authors published here make no claims on the ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House (and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property of NBC/Universal, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I am only peripherally aware. The fan fiction authors published here receive no monetary benefit from their work and intend no copyright infringement nor slight to the actual owners. We love the characters and we love the show, otherwise we wouldn't be here.