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Party Plans
by lilyleia78
"I need you to throw Wilson a bachelor party," House announced to Foreman as he strode into the conference room. "Get Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb here to help," he continued with a jerk of his thumb in the direction of Kutner and Taub.
Then with a speculative look at Thirteen he added, "You too. You've got bigger balls than the other two put together."
"Neat!" Kutner declared, bouncing in his chair with excitement.
"No," Foreman scowled. "Not neat. You can't just demand that we throw Wilson a party."
"I thought you liked Wilson," House said with a look of confusion. "Is this a racial thing? He's Jewish, so you don't want to get drunk with him at a strip club?"
Foreman rolled his eyes but didn't bother to dignify that with a response. Taking his silence as an invitation to continue, House went on, "Or is because we're gay?" He glanced quickly at Thirteen. "Bi, whatever. No, it can't be that. I've seen the way you look at Chase."
The neurologist began to say something, thought better of it, and visibly calmed himself before speaking. "Shouldn't the best man be doing something? Or is there no one out there willing to stand up for Wilson while he throws his life away on you?"
"Ouch. Careful there Sparky - you might give me the impression you don't think I'm good enough for The Boy Wonder."
"Wouldn't want to do that," Thirteen muttered while pointedly studying the charts on the table.
House gave her his best wounded puppy look, which she completely ignored, before answering Foreman's question. "Wilson's brother fully supports us." Off of Taub's skeptical look, he amended, "Okay, fully supports Wilson. He can't come down until right before the wedding, but he offered to pay if someone else will take over organization."
"I'm surprised you didn't just take the money and run," Thirteen said with a sigh, reluctantly being pulled into the conversation.
"I can't believe you think so little of me!"
House took a moment to enjoy the looks on the faces of his fellows. Thirteen, Taub, and Foreman were coming along nicely, he decided. Their `you're an idiot' looks were almost on par with his. Kutner though...he looked torn between guilt and indignation on his behalf. If he didn't know better, House would swear that boy was Cameron and Chase's love child.
Remembering why they were giving him these fascinating looks, House defended himself further. "I would never take money from my future brother-in-law."
"Because Wilson wouldn't let him." The deeply familiar voice came from the conference room doorway. House turned to face his beloved.
"Wilson," he whined. "You're going to ruin my selfless reputation."
A quick grin flashed across the oncologist's face before it was replaced with a look of sympathetic concern. "Sorry. I didn't mean to shatter anybody's illusions of the kind-hearted, generous Dr. Gregory House."
A snort escaped Foreman, and House spared him a scowl before turning his attention back to Wilson. "What are you doing here? Aren't there adorable, balding kids you could be saving?"
"Nah, only the ugly ones are left." Wilson shrugged.
House's mouth twitched in an involuntary smile. "I see."
"I came to make sure you weren't coercing your staff into throwing a party for me against their will," Wilson explained. Although there was no venom in his voice, Foreman and Taub had the grace to look abashed.
"He's not forcing us," Kutner insisted. "We want to."
Wilson glanced at the enthusiastic young man and then quirked an eyebrow at House. House rolled his eyes in answer.
Out loud Wilson responded directly to the eager fellow. "There's no need. I got a volunteer."
House frowned. Before he could investigate this new development, a young blonde man walked in. Glancing up from the clipboard in his hands, Chase's eyes fell on Wilson.
"Here you are. Should've known. Do you want to provide food for the party or should we stick to tradition and offer a liquid diet only?"
House cut off Wilson's answer. "You volunteered?"
When Chase nodded, Forman injected his opinion, "Suck-up."
Chase leveled a look of incredulity at him. "It's a free party with alcohol, strippers, and a ban on House. I'm not a suck-up. You're short sighted."
Taub and Kutner verbally fell all over themselves trying to volunteer any help he needed. Foreman, with as much dignity as he could muster, announced, "I'll help. For Wilson, of course."
"Of course," Wilson said dryly.
"Aww," House cooed. "Is my sweetie feeling unwanted? I still love you Pookie."
Wilson's brow furrowed briefly with real concern for House's sanity, but then he caught the identical looks of horror on the faces of the others in the room. He moved closer. "Do you really, Sugar Lips?"
"Of course Honey Bear." House pulled Wilson into his arms.
"I love you too, Sweet Cheeks." Wilson snuggled his face into House's neck to hide the mirth threatening to burst out of him.
"Want to bend me over the desk and show me how much?" House raised his voice to be certain the entire floor heard him.
Wilson was still laughing long after the five other doctors had fled the scene.
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Legal Disclaimer: The authors published here make no claims on the ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House (and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property of NBC/Universal, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I am only peripherally aware. The fan fiction authors published here receive no monetary benefit from their work and intend no copyright infringement nor slight to the actual owners. We love the characters and we love the show, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
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