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Simpler Times
by icanreadncount
Love is the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but chose to live with each other.
- M. Scott Peck
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"My boyfriend wants me to move in with him."
James Wilson looked at Julia, his third wife, as the comment sank in. Years ago, they were made for each other. Now, she came to him as a teenager comes to her father, a seemingly rebellious question to move out with some man he had never met, when really he was 36 and she was 35, and he didn't remember impregnating any women at age 1.
"There's no need to rush for a divorce, we're not planning on marrying, but I'm moving out. He's coming to help on Friday."
And today was Monday. In four days, he'd be alone again.
"No, I'll help you." He wasn't sure if it was just a nice gesture, just him being himself, or a way to avoid an uncomfortable meeting between a soon-to-be-ex-husband and a new roommate-boyfriend.
"Fine. Friday."
As though she was planning a date. Dinner and a movie, if only they still loved each other. She almost seemed annoyed at his request, and he was pretty sure the boyfriend would show up anyway.
?-
As he lay in bed next to her, James realized that Julia had never lived by herself. Maybe that's why they had lived lying about their love for so long, or maybe it was because she could tailor any clothes to fit his awkward frame. Either way, this decision to leave was inevitable, and James was surprised it hadn't come sooner.
She could be thinking that this would be a way to gain freedom; no more marriage, just a relationship with no contract. But she'd be wrong, because a boyfriend would call it off much sooner than a husband, and then where would she live? If she ever came back to him, asking for a second chance, he'd probably say yes, although it would really be her third or fourth; he couldn't say no to her. Greg would tell him that he was a push-over, but Greg didn't really know much about love; his own love-life was a warped conflict between two women, one who didn't love him and one who couldn't love him, except that she did. Whoever he chose to be the one to take his heart would be the wrong answer.
Julia murmured and shifted in her sleep. Once, James thought she was beautiful. Now, the ugliness inside her had spread to the surface. She had wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, odd because he didn't remember her smiling often; she had several blemishes on her face, once she had mentioned visiting a dermatologist, but it had never happened; her feet were big and misshapen and her toes were long and bony. Most people wouldn't be offended by these things, but so many one night stands had made James shallow. When you only want a girl for a little fun who cares what she's like on the inside?
He admitted to himself that he was sad it was over. It was a lie, but one he was used to. No change was good change, but he'd have to deal and move on. He already spent much of his time either at the hospital or Greg's house, now he would spend even less time at his own home than before.
James didn't want to be alone. He was afraid. It had been a long time, and he didn't know if he could deal. If he spent the rest of his life pining over a woman he didn't love, what kind of life would he be living? He wanted to be selfish, he wanted her to stay. It wasn't fair, she was his wife. Now someone was stealing her.
The clock read one AM. He closed his eyes, and tried to sleep. He imagined he'd be doing this for a long time. Not sleeping, not living, just dreaming of simpler times when he was in love and she was in love, and even if it wasn't with each other it was love, and that was enough.
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Legal Disclaimer: The authors published here make no claims on the ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House (and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property of Fox Television, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I am only peripherally aware. The fan fiction authors published here receive no monetary benefit from their work and intend no copyright infringement nor slight to the actual owners. We love the characters and we love the show, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
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