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A Catalyst named Kurt
by Belladonna
Cameron admired the cute butt as it stalked through into House's office. Chase looked up and frowned while Foreman totally ignored the handsome man who'd just walked through.
"Who was that?" Chase asked curiously.
She shrugged. "I don't know, but he's cute." Foreman and Chase both looked at her and she smiled and went back to checking House's email.
*
House scowled at the handsome man who'd just invaded his office. He looked to be Wilson's age and had dark hair that was in that new style that looked like he'd rolled out of bed with it like that. He was also in great shape without looking like a muscle bound freak, and he was eyeing House, and his desk like they were Mt. Everest.
"Can I help you?"
The man smiled, his gray green eyes flashing wickedly. "Actually, I'm here to help you. I'm Kurt McCaffery and I'm your new Admin assistant. And boy, does it look like you need me." And with that, he turned back around and walked out.
House blinked, then remembered that Stacy had said he needed to be more organized and blah, blah, blah. Damn. A minute later Kurt came back in, his arms full of plastic bins which he set down with a satisfied sigh.
"You're a glorified secretary," House challenged a little belligerently.
Kurt grinned. "Yes, yes I am. But I have better legs. Now, the key to efficiency and effectiveness is organization. I'm going to go through all of your paperwork and organize it." He grabbed a precarious stack on the corner of House's desk and started flipping through it, murmuring to himself. Then he separated the bins and began to drop papers or files into each one.
House watched this silently from his chair while his Ducklings watched from where they were, waiting for the explosion. "Okay, you're a glorified secretary and you have a yearning to organize. You must be gay," he said and ignored the horror on is staff's faces.
Kurt glanced up, smiling and totally unoffended. "Yep. I'm a total clich, it's a good thing that I'm happy with who I am. Now can I do the job for which I was hired? And one more thing, I make a bitchin' cup of coffee, so don't knock the whole secretary thing."
Waving a hand, House nodded. "I `m prepared to be amazed."
**
Kurt was thumbing through another stack of papers when the door opened and a gorgeous doctor with velvety brown eyes that were snapping with anger came in. "House, I can't believe..." the man stopped and looked at Kurt questioningly. "Um, hello," he said.
"Hello, I'm the cute ass that separates Dr. House's mail. Can I help you?" Kurt asked brightly.
At the raised eyebrow from the gorgeous doctor, Kurt shrugged. "Okay, ~he~ didn't say `cute', but I know my strengths. Did you need to speak to Dr. House?"
"Actually, I need to bitch at him," Wilson said, abruptly remembering why he was there.
"Oooh, that's a long line. I can pencil you in for next November?" Kurt said, posing with a pencil in his hand expectantly.
Wilson snorted a laugh. "Oh yeah, you've gotten to know Dr. House very well."
Kurt grinned and waved him to the seat. "My name's Kurt, I'm his new Administrative Assistant. Have a seat and I'll get you a cup of coffee."
Sitting down and relaxing, Wilson watched with interest as the handsome man got up and poured him a cup of coffee and came back and handed it to him. He sipped it and smiled. "Hey, this is the good stuff."
"I think it's the reason Dr. House didn't throw me out on my ear," Kurt confided. House chose that moment to limp in, his blue eyes taking in his guest.
"So, you've met my gay secretary," he said as he headed over to the coffee machine.
Kurt rolled his eyes and got up so House could have his chair back. "Bite me, Dr. House. I've got to deliver these papers to admin. See you later," and he disappeared with a stack of papers and files.
House grunted and sat down, smirking at the bemused look on Wilson's face. "So, what do you think of him? Stacy got him for me. A bit bigger than a bread box but I think he's better than any of those lame anniversary gifts."
This made Wilson laugh. "He seems nice and if he can sort out the chaos of your desk and appointments, then he'll be a hero to me. It'll keep people from calling ~me~ to remind ~you~ of your appointments."
"Blah, blah," House said though he smiled.
**
Kurt watched Dr. House and his Ducklings with interest as he finally began to see the light at the end of the tunnel of the chaos that was Dr. House's desk. He'd been working for the man for a couple of months and made some startling discoveries.
House was a certifiable genius, and his Ducklings weren't far behind. The good doctor might have the personality of a pit bull with constipation but he saved lives brilliantly and Kurt admired the hell out of him.
Another discovery was that Wilson took a lot of crap and yet was still Dr. House's best friend and often shield from the rest of the hospital. He was known by both doctors and nurses as St. Wilson. The rumor mill also said that Dr. Wilson was a two time, soon to be three time loser in the matrimonial game because he couldn't keep it in his pants. Which gave Kurt food for thought, maybe the good doctor would like a change in appetizer...
And his best discovery was that he was really enjoying this job and was glad that he'd taken it. It had the added benefit of making his mother very happy and you couldn't discount that when your mom was a professional worrier.
**
It was nearly Christmas and the hospital was tackily decorated to the gills with artificial trees, multicolored ribbons and garland. Everywhere except House's office, which had `Nightmare before Christmas' theme just for his perverse pleasure. Kurt kind of liked it.
He pushed open the office door and winced at the sunlight streaming through the windows, even with the blinds covering it.
"Ah, did the pretty gay boy have too much alcohol last night?" House asked maliciously.
"Be nice to me or I'm not gonna give you your present," Kurt grumped as he went over to the coffee machine to get it set up. He set it for extra strong and went to see if he could close the blinds better. Through his squint he noticed Wilson watching him with amusement on his cute face. "Hi James, come to poke at the bear in the cage, have we?"
Wilson chuckled. "How are you, Kurt?"
"Dying, thanks for asking," Kurt replied, willing the coffee to move faster.
"Don't think I've forgotten that you mentioned a present," House prodded.
"Coffee first, civilized behavior later," Kurt sighed with relief when the machine gurgled, signifying it was finished and poured himself a cup of coffee, sipping it gratefully before pouring another cup which he handed Wilson, just to see House frown.
"So, I was at a party last night and was a bit drunk," he sipped his coffee and winced as Cameron, Chase and Foreman came in, talking louder than absolutely necessary in his opinion. "Okay, maybe a lot drunk, but before I lost every brain cell in my head I was talking to a gay friend who happens to be a millionaire. He was so impressed by my lies about Dr. House's brilliance that he wants to donate 40 million bucks to the hospital. Where could we use it, do you think?"
Astounded, House and Wilson exchanged looks. "Oncology," House said promptly when he could speak. "James could use that new full body scanner, and have plenty of money left over."
Wilson stared at House in surprise. "But, well ,yeah, that would be nice, but don't you want it?"
House shrugged and stared into his coffee. And if Kurt hadn't been nursing the worst hangover of the year he might have caught the lovelorn look. "Well, just say I could use your new toy whenever I need to and maybe give the Ducklings a raise and I'll call it even," House said with a grin.
**
A couple of days later Wilson was at his desk and making his wish list for the new money that had been donated to his department. A knock made him look up and he smiled, "Hey Kurt, come on in." He couldn't help but notice that Kurt looked amazing. House's Admin assistant was wearing dark green corduroys which hugged his muscular legs and a black turtle neck that made his chest look fabulous.
"Hey James, I was wondering if you could use some help in here? I mean, I've finally tamed Dr. House's office and have a little extra time..."
"Oh my god, you're an answer to my prayers!" Wilson exclaimed.
"I'll take that as a yes," Kurt grinned. He sat down on the corner of Wilson's desk and smiled down at him, and abruptly made a decision. "You want to go out to dinner?"
"D-dinner?" Wilson stammered, though his libido was definitely interested, and if he was honest, had been for awhile.
Kurt licked his lips. "You know, the evening meal frequently enjoyed with a date?"
"Date?"
Pretending to back off, Kurt looked at his nails. "Well, if you've got plans..."
"No! No plans," Wilson smiled up at the handsome man. "I'd love to."
Getting to his feet, Kurt gestured to the desk, "Then let's get this cleared up and we can get out of here, handsome," he flirted gently, enjoying the blush on the doctor's face.
*
Wilson was surprised to find out he was enjoying himself. Kurt had taken him to BellaItalia, a nice Italian restaurant that served fabulous food and had surprised him by ordering in Italian, making the waitress giggle.
They'd talked about work, favorite foods and hobbies and generally laughed and had a good time. After dinner, Kurt and James got into the car, and Kurt looked at him seriously. "Do you want to come back to my place?"
James stared back into those amazing eyes and hated his own weakness that made him need a warm body and a sympathetic ear. The only difference this time was that Kurt was a guy. Kurt didn't condemn or pressure him, just watched him as he struggled with himself. "That would be nice," he said quietly, and was rewarded by a blinding smile.
Once inside of Kurt's apartment James looked around with interest. The walls were painted a lovely sage green and held exquisite black and white photographs framed in black. He had a large flat panel t.v. mounted on the wall like a painting and bookshelves with books on just about every available wall. "This is very nice," he said and Kurt smiled as he brought back a beer for him.
"Thanks. Do you need to call anybody? Are you okay?" Kurt ran a comforting hand down Wilson's arm.
"I can't lie very well, even over the phone. And yeah, I think I'm okay," he said quietly.
"Good," Kurt whispered.
James could only stand and feel as Kurt took his beer and began to touch him, letting his hands wander. He let his head fall back and moaned as warm hands caressed his cock which had been progressively getting harder, then he let himself be led into the bedroom for a night he'd never forget.
They undressed each other, James making note of the obvious physical differences between Kurt and the women he'd slept with. He knew the human body intimately as a doctor but he'd never realized how beautiful the male form was.
"You're staring," Kurt teased gently.
James blushed lightly. "I was just admiring the scenery."
"Oh, admire away. Touch all you want," Kurt took the other man's hand and placed it on his own heart. "Feel that? I'm as nervous as you." Then he let his own hand drift down Wilson's chest, rubbing his nipples with a teasing forefinger. He was rewarded by a moan that made his own dick harder.
"Bed," he ordered and gently laid James Wilson down onto it and proceeded to lick and kiss him thoroughly until he came with a gasping cry. Then he taught him the finer points of frottage and gay sex, watching the joy of discovery that was almost as hot as the act of sex itself.
Later Kurt watched his sleeping lover with a soft smile. Once he'd gotten passed the shakes James had turned into a passionate tiger of a lover, and how. Kurt checked them both over to make sure they were clean and then set the alarm, tucked himself around his lover and slid into sleep.
The next morning the alarm woke the men up and James felt awkward until Kurt leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his nose. "Good morning."
James smiled. "Good morning to you," he looked down, biting his lip before he raised a hand and rubbed Kurt's rough cheek. "Thanks, well, for everything but for not asking questions."
Kurt snorted. "None of my business. Now, do I need to drop you off at home for some clothes?"
"No, I've got a couple of changes at the hospital."
Another kiss that threatened to get even more physical but Kurt made himself pull back. "Let's take this to the shower, hot stuff," he said and James blushed but let himself be led into the shower and another quick bout of lovemaking that opened his eyes.
**
House limped into Wilson's office, a scowl on his face. "Julie called me last night," he announced.
Wilson winced. "Damn, I knew there was something I forgot to do."
"Listen, I don't mind being your alibi, but I'd like to know first," House said calmly though his gut roiled with jealousy. "Who was it anyway?"
A noise made both men look up and Kurt came into the room with a pile of files. House looked back at Wilson and was surprised to see the violent blush on his friend's face. His gaze swiveled back to Kurt who was looking at James with affectionate pity.
"Boy, you're right, you can't lie with a damn," Kurt said with a quick smile.
House straightened. "Kurt, can I see you in my office?"
"House, I'm a big boy," Wilson began.
"Here, here," Kurt murmured, making James blush even more.
"Now!" House snapped and headed out of the office.
Totally unashamed, Kurt nodded. "Here, Jamie. These are the files I went through. Time to go stick my head into the lion's mouth."
Wilson couldn't hold the snicker that slipped out and he caught the wink from Kurt as he disappeared out of the door.
House was at the window staring into space, trying to not rage and otherwise be extremely undignified. What he'd really like to do was jump up and down and scream, `mine, mine, mine!', but he'd passed the point of jumping up and down since the infarction. He heard the door open and shut behind him and he turned to face the man who'd stolen the man he loved.
"So. You and Wilson," he said evenly.
Kurt sat comfortably in his chair. "Yes."
"He's married."
"I know, and I don't hold it against him."
House looked away and suddenly Kurt understood. "Oh my god, you're in love with him! For god's sake Greg, I didn't know or I would've kept my mitts off."
Looking into Kurt's earnest face, House accepted the oblique apology. "I was waiting until he and Julie got divorced," he said quietly.
Now Kurt squirmed. "You're a better man than I, Kemo Sabe. I couldn't keep my hands off of him."
"Cripes," House rubbed his face.
"I'll quit seeing him," Kurt said quietly.
House held up a hand. "No, if you make him happy I won't stand in the way. Just don't hurt him. Hurt him and I will castrate you and keep your balls in a jar on my desk."
Kurt winced. "I get the picture, no need to get graphic."
Wilson walked in without knocking and Kurt stood up. "I'm still alive, Jamie. He was just making sure that I didn't take advantage of you."
House smirked. "Because you're ~such~ an innocent."
"Jerk," Wilson said semi-affectionately. He glared briefly at Greg who raised his hands in mock alarm, then his beeper went off. "I've got a patient," he said, waved and left the office.
Kurt grinned. "And I have my weekly meeting with Mrs. Warner, wherein she tries to convince me to spill the beans on you."
"Good luck with that," House said with a shudder.
~*~
A trio of nurses were walking down the hallway when one looked through the door and nudged her friend. "They are so doing it," she said, sotto voce.
Her friend smiled and nodded. House and Wilson were lounging, silently watching General Hospital. It was such a familiar sight that it didn't even raise eyebrows anymore. The third nurse, a new one, looked puzzled.
"We'll tell you later, Carla."
*~*
Wilson was seated out of sight of the nurse's station as he thumbed through some charts when he heard his name mentioned.
"What did you mean earlier, Sheila?" he heard, but didn't recognize the voice.
"What? Oh you mean when Charlene said that Dr. House and Dr. Wilson were so doing it?" There were female giggles from the nurse's station and Wilson stiffened in shock.
"She just meant that Dr. House and Dr. Wilson have been together for years. It's kind of a constant in the universe." Wilson recognized Charlene from surgery's voice.
"But I thought that Dr. Wilson was married, and hasn't he dated several of the nurses? I mean, Tandy Phillip's from Nuclear Medicine told me to steer clear of him." Now Wilson was outraged. He thought that Tandy liked him.
"Dr. House sees that Dr. Wilson wants a normal life so he lets him get married, knowing that it won't last and he'll come back to him in the end. He loves him that much," Charlene said matter-of-factly.
Sheila made an assenting noise. "Dr. Wilson's third marriage is on the rocks. We're hoping he'll figure it out this time. Every time he's gotten married we've watched and worried over Dr. House, the cranky son of a bitch. But we've got our fingers crossed, this time."
Was it true? Greg had loved him that long? Had ~waited~ for him that long and he'd been too blind to see it? Wilson wondered in shock. He got up and headed blindly to his office. He had a lot to think about.
~*
That night he called Greg's name as he climaxed, and froze in complete mortification. Kurt stared up at him in surprise, then proceeded to collapse into wild laughter. "Ohgod, you should see your face, Jamie!" he laughed some more and he cuddled with his embarrassed lover.
"I am soo sorry," James said. "I don't know why..." he trailed off and glared as Kurt laughed even more.
In apology, Kurt pulled him close and looked into his lover's eyes. "You're a nitwit, that's why. You love Greg. It's as complicated and simple as that. You marry, and have affairs because you want what you have with Greg. You want someone who understands your work and knows you have to work late, someone who will accept you as you are, friendship and complete support. You want someone you'll be glad to see everyday," he said softly. "And that's you and Greg."
"Does everybody know except me? For god's sake, I mean I even overheard the nurse's gossiping about us!" James wailed, frustrated that he hadn't seen it, and for all of the wasted time. "Why didn't Greg tell me? I thought he was straight?"
Another snicker. "About as straight as you, boyo," Kurt needled softly. He was a little sad, he could see that this revelation was the death knell of his and James's affair. "You need to get a divorce and tell Greg how you feel."
James rolled on top of Kurt, anxiousness in his eyes. "I really like you, Kurt."
Kurt smiled crookedly. "And I like you, Jamie. And don't worry, we can still be friends. You can compare Greg's and my technique in bed."
"Um, I think that would be a no," James said, shaking his head with amusement.
*~
House noticed that Kurt and Wilson were no longer together, but as Wilson didn't seem devastated by it, he didn't feel the need to castrate Kurt. He was however, wildly curious about why, but bit his tongue. Somethings were better off not knowing about.
It was almost Easter and he limped around the Easter Bunny after an acid glare and limped into his office. His Ducklings were busy as the proverbial beaver and barely acknowledged him as he limped past. Which was best for all of them, his damn leg was hurting again.
Collapsing onto his chair, he noticed a large brown envelope on his desk. Okay, curiosity was his besetting sin. Unwilling to get up again, he barked, "Where's Kurt?"
Cameron glanced up. "He's delivering files and dropping off the mail."
House grunted, then he looked at his desk again. "Fuck it," he snarled. "Cameron, get that envelope off of my desk for me," he ordered.
She rolled her eyes and did as he asked, eyeing his leg when she handed him the envelope. "Do I need to get Dr. Wilson?"
"No, thank you," he said as he ripped open the envelope. He dumped the papers in his lap and stared at the title page.
`Divorce Proceedings for Dr. James T. Wilson and Mrs. Julie Michaels Wilson. Dissolution of Marriage.'
A post-it note fluttered down and he picked it up, staring at it through a sudden blurriness that he attributed to allergies. `Greg, I'm free now. James.'
A movement caught his eye and he looked up to see James leaning in his doorway, looking as handsome as ever. "I think..." House began and had to clear his throat. "I think that this is the best damn present anyone has ever given me."
Wilson smiled. "I'm glad. How about dinner tonight?"
House didn't trust his voice, so he nodded.
"I'll pick you up at 7," Wilson said and headed back to his office.
Kurt came in a minute later and glanced at his boss sharply. "You okay, Greg?"
"Thanks, Kurt." House said, handing the package to his Administrative Assistant.
Mystified, Kurt took the package and looked it over, then smiled. "Hot damn, he took my advice."
"Can you get me a heat pack? I have a date tonight," House asked.
Kurt smiled widely. "You've got it."
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Legal Disclaimer: The authors published here make no claims on the ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House (and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property of Fox Television, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I am only peripherally aware. The fan fiction authors published here receive no monetary benefit from their work and intend no copyright infringement nor slight to the actual owners. We love the characters and we love the show, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
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