From: PEbLxiFXsl
Date: 07/30/2013 |
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From: Nilhenwen
Date: 06/08/2007 |
oooo, nice I love it. Really good idea and sort of theory going on. I bet that was a nice plot bunny to have!
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From: Lookfar
Date: 01/31/2007 |
This is terrific! I think it might be improved by putting the alternate grafs in different typefaces -- the classic way of showing alternating voices -- and then the pronouns wouldn't be quite so confusing. I like your idea a lot and think it's pretty in character. Why not beta it and get all the tenses to agree and that little "to" for "too" problem fixed?
This story deserves it!
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From: Kristen
Date: 09/15/2006 |
i'm pretty sure i wasn't paying full attention to this.... at some point i thought wilson was a vampire :P. ah well. but it was good anyway!
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From: Tracy
Date: 11/06/2005 |
Oh this is wonderful. I mean, on the surface its just a smutty, somewhat f*cked up story/relationship; however, that bit at the end where... they sort of don't understand each other, but at the same time they do. Or maybe its just that they accept what the other needs even if they DON'T understand it, or if it takes something out of them to do so... Marvelous :)
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From: LastScorpion
Date: 10/14/2005 |
Beautifully written! You had some wonderful phrases, and I loved the rotating point-of-view!
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