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  The Bet 
 by gorblimey2	

 The Bet

He had gotten over the fact that he wasn't going to get to go to the
opening of the jazz festival, but it really rubbed him that he would
probably miss all of it. Marie's friend, Kerry, had dropped off Jack the
night before last when Marie started to get the pain in her side. When she
had arrived at the hospital Marie was admitted with appendicitis. 

Jack was 15 months old and a real handful. Sometimes it was hard for House
to corral the moving target named John Gregory, Jack for short. Unlike his
dad, Jack was always smiling and laughing, making his father wonder what
drugs his mother had him on. Jack had been the result of a very painful
bet that House had made with Marie.

The Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital or PPTH to the staff, held it's
Christmas Party every year on the second floor where most of the hospital
offices and conference rooms were located. The presentation room was the
main party room but the party always spilled out into the halls and
adjacent offices. 

House and his Team had gotten to the party late. House had been in one of
his numerous fights with Dr. Connoly over the appropriate treatment for a
patient with possible CVHK. Connoly wanted a specific antibiotic and House
wanted a more broad- based one. The fight had degenerated into name
calling by House and food throwing by Dr. Connoly. Of course, the fact
that House had called her a stupid, ignorant cow hadn't exactly endeared
him to her. She responded with an apple to his head. The screaming
escalated to the point where the staff had to separate them physically and
remove them from the charge desk.

Because of the fight, it had been decided that a truce would be called
until the lab results came back and then the appropriate treatment would
be initiated. Cameron had her cell phone on at the party so that the lab
could reach them. House walked into the party and saw Wilson talking to
Cuddy. Before he went to talk to them he spied the open bar. House waited
in line to get a double whiskey which he desperately needed.

He walked over to Cuddy and started yelling, "Where the hell did you find
that hack who heads your infectious disease department?"

"I heard the two of you had to be physically separated. What is wrong with
you House? She's Harvard educated and considered one of the best in her
field. And usually she can control her temper except apparently when it
comes to you."

"She's short, shrill and a shrew. How can you even tolerate being in the
same room with an imbecile like her? She hasn't got a clue as to what to
do, I'm surprised she found her panties and bra this morning...that is if
she even took a shower, which judging from the crap between her ears, it's
doubtful."

"So I take it she said no and you hate the idea that anyone would say no
to the great Gregory House?"

"That about sums it up." He admitted.

Wilson went up to the bar and House told him to get him another double. He
had just run out of steam when Dr. Connoly walked in. She was a 5'3"
strawberry blonde with short hair. House had to admit she was pretty, if
you like that Hailey Mills from the Parent Trap look. 

House threw his hands up in the air at the sight of her and then slammed
down the double whiskey. After the argument Dr. Connoly was in the mood to
get drunk. She did several "Derechos de Tequila" complete with lime and
salt before mingling. She grabbed a very strong Margarita and began
talking to several of the nurses from her floor. House kept watching her.
The thing that really set her off was that, as they were being separated
by the staff, he yelled at her that she needed to, "GET LAID." 

House was also thinking about her, "getting laid." The problem was that
the thought just kept circling around in his brain. He could imagine him
taming the shrew with his quick tongue and slow sensual screwing. He saw
her begging him for more and him walking out on her as she cried for him
to come back.

On the other hand, Connoly agreed that she needed to get laid. It had been
six months since she broke it off with her fianc, and she was getting very
horny. She looked around and saw James Wilson...good looking, funny and
sensitive. He'd do. Unfortunately, he was sitting next to Gregory House.
Still, he was the only one at the party that she could see herself having
a tumble with. After a few more drinks, she walked over to Wilson.

"Watch out Wilson, her moronic behavior may be contagious." House was
feeling the four double whiskeys he had imbibed on an empty stomach.

"I think you've mistaken my behavior for the herpatic lesions on your
dick." she responded.

"Oh, woa...come on you two, it's Christmas!" Wilson said.

"That's rich coming from a Jew." House moaned.

"Half Jewish...just my mother." Wilson reminded House.

"Well was that the half that got circumcised?" House asked.

"Let's all start over, hi Marie, how are you?" Wilson asked.

"I'd be better if I could convince you to abandon this loser as your best
friend."

"What, jealous that I have a friend and your only friend comes with
batteries?" House smiled sardonically at her.

"House you're jealous of the batteries because at least they have a
purpose." Marie quipped.

"Ok, maybe the two of you need some distance between you. I'm going to get
more drinks."

House looked at her, took a sip of his whiskey and said, "You're wrong
about your recommendation for treatment."

"You wanna bet?" She asked.

"What's the bet?" he asked.

"I don't know, what do you think you do better than me?" She had a hard
time concentrating on House when all she could think about was pawing
Wilson.

"Screw."

"Screw you." She replied.

"No you moron, I can screw better than you."

"Oh, you are joking. You wouldn't last five minutes with my moves."

"That's a bet. If I last five or more than five minutes I get to give the
patient my treatment. If I don't last five minutes you get to give him
your treatment."

"Alright, let's go." 

They grabbed their drinks and weaved out of the presentation room. They
went looking for a room. "Wilson has a couch, come on." House dragged her
into Wilson's office, closed the door and turned on the light. 

"To be fair, when does the five minutes start?" she said, slightly
slurring her words and taking another big gulp.

"When we're both naked." he said.

They both started to remove their clothing. Connoly pulled off her
sweater, unzipped and removed her pants at the same time that House
removed his. She was standing in her bra and panties.

"I see your little friend is happy to see me and I haven't even gotten
naked. This is going to be like shooting fish in a barrel because I'm
about ready to pull out my big guns." she said as she started to remove
her bra.

"They don't look so big from here."

"It's not the size honey, it's their perky little roundness that brings
men to tears."

"Ok, let's see them."

She removed her bra and House was impressed. They weren't huge, but they
were bigger than he thought they'd be and they were perfectly round and
pert. The nipples were pink and round, just the right size. He realized he
better start thinking about football or he was going to lose this bet
fast. 

She laid back on the couch, looked at her watch and said, "Well, is that
your plan? Just stand there for five minutes?"

He came over to the couch and removed her panties and then his boxers. He
opened her legs and entered her. He was trying to think of the quarterback
going back for a pass when he felt her secret weapon. She was not only
tight but she had perfect control of all her muscles and she knew just how
to use them. She made small circular motions and licked his ears and bit
his earlobes. She whispered in his ear, "Oh Greg, F# me." That was it, he
started thrusting and exploding while he yelled out in sheer pleasure.
"Oh, F#...oh God...ahhh."

She looked at her watch, "Poor Greg, one minute thirty-two seconds. I
guess we'll go with my treatment."

He had to admit that the treatment worked and the patient made a good
recovery. House felt very sheepish around her. Whenever he was in her
presence she would make a comment.

"Dr. House, I'm planning on leaving today at 1:32 p.m. so if you have
anything you'd like to discuss, you'll have to do it before then." Or,
"Dr. House, the patient doesn't have health insurance and the medicine
your ordered is going to cost him $132 dollars...you might want to think
about another prescription." Or, "Dr. House the patient could only hold
their breath for one minute and thirty-two seconds, you'd think he could
last longer, poor guy."

But about two months later the comments stopped and she seemed to be
avoiding him. He didn't know why, but he was glad. Then a month later she
waited until his team had left for the evening and he was all alone. She
came into his office with a very sober look.

"Yes, is there something you want?" He looked up and tilted his head
slightly.

"I'm pregnant and you're the Daddy."

He smiled, "I don't believe you. You're going to tell me you're 132 days
late or something like that."

"No, but I am going to keep the baby and I'm going to sue you for child
support, just for the Sh!ts and giggles." She turned around and walked
out.

He immediately went online and brought up her chart by hacking into the
system with Cuddy's password. He felt his heart drop through his stomach.
She was three months pregnant. It was very possible that he could be the
father. 

A week later he called her. "Can we meet for dinner?"

"I guess, as long as you don't scream at me or call me a silly cow."

"I'll do my best to hold my tongue even if you are a silly cow." He had
been thinking about what she had told him almost non-stop.

"Great." she said disgustingly. "Where and when?"

"The Triumph tonight at 8:00 P.m.."

"I'm in bed by 8:00 p.m. You forget I'm pregnant. Make it 6:30 p.m."

"See you there."

She was a few minutes late and he commented on it, "I thought you wanted
to meet early."

"I did but my stomach often makes other plans. Now what do you want?"

"If the baby is mine, then I am willing to offer you financial support,
you don't have to sue me. How much are you asking for?"

"I figure $2,000 a month would work."

"$2,000?" he couldn't believe she wanted that much.

"Dr. House, you make $16,000 a month. I've heard you spend thousands every
month on gambling. Well just consider the product of our bet to be a
gambling debt."

He almost called her a name but held back. She was prettier than he
remembered. Then it all started to come back to him...for quite awhile
that night had been a blur, but now he was starting to remember the
perfect breasts, the tightness, the muscles, he was getting aroused. He
concentrated on the issue at hand.

"I'll need proof, a DNA test."

"Ok, that's reasonable. But I do have to discuss the baby. Knowing you I
suspect that by agreeing to pay me money you are buying your freedom and
don't want anything to do with the baby. It doesn't matter to me, it's
probably easier if I don't have to have you around. But I'd like to warn
you that in 18 years you might have an irate teenager show up on your
doorstep asking you why you didn't want anything to do with them. On the
other hand, I'll be happy to tell them for next18 years what an @ss and
narcisstic b@stard their father is and how he enjoys making everyone else
in his life miserable. Hopefully, after 18 years of my mantra your child
will want nothing to do with you."

House was angry, not at what she said, but that she was right. He had
thought that if he gave her what she wanted in child support he wouldn't
have to have anything to do with the kid or her. It pissed him off that
she could read him, so he would just have to throw a wrench in her little
plan.

"No, I expect visitation rights and custody of the baby at least one
weekend a month and when it's older, I get summers and some holidays."

She hadn't planned on this and her face showed it. She was extremely
worried that for the next 18 years she would have Gregory House to deal
with...why hadn't she just grabbed Wilson and had her way with him that
night? At least Wilson would make a great dad. No more Margaritas for her.

House could tell from that crestfallen look that she hadn't expected him
to be involved. He wasn't sure he was actually going to be involved but it
gave him great pleasure to know that she was worried about it.

"Ok, let's cut the crap. We both know that you don't want to be a dad to
this baby and that you're doing this to piss me off. I don't want you to
treat this as some prank, we're talking about a child, a human. I don't
want you to start out being a dad and then, when you get bored, you
abandon the post and the kid pines for daddy to come back into it's life.
House don't be an @ss, don't get involved if you don't plan on staying
involved."

The idea that she would naturally assume he would fool around with a
child's life was infuriating, even if it was probably true. "Do we have a
deal, $2,000 a month but I get visitation and custody rights? We can have
our attorneys work out the details."

"Ok, if you think you can be a father, I won't stop you. But be careful
what you wish for. I don't want anyone to know at the hospital until the
baby is born that it is yours. If you tell anyone, I'll make you so
miserable. I'll have you in court every time the baby needs diapers. Do we
understand each other? " she watched him shake his head yes. "Well, I'm
too tired to eat, I'm going home. Goodnight House." She got up and walked
out.

Two months later, Marie and House had to meet to discuss a patient with
possible "Black Syph." A very difficult strain of syphilis that was
resistant to most antibiotics. The spirochetes had moved to the patient's
brain so they had thought about drilling through the skull and inserting a
catheter into the brain to deliver the drugs. 

They were in the patient's room discussing it with the Team when House
piped up, "Dr. Connoly, you're putting on weight. What, letting yourself
go because you don't have a boyfriend?"

"No, I just have 132 things on my mind."

"Well, watch that, pretty soon people will think you're pregnant instead
of just plain fat." 

Cameron thought House was being pretty insensitive, It was true that Marie
had put on some weight and had started wearing loose scrubs most of the
time, but she was far from being fat.

Another few month passed and it was obvious that Dr. Connoly was pregnant.
It was also a mystery to the staff as to who the father was. There were
two pools. One pool was, if it was a doctor on staff and, if so, who. The
other was just a simple poll, was the father's baby her ex-fianc, or not?
The pool naming the possible doctors showed Gregory House as a long shot
of 100 to 1. No one had taken the bet at $5.00. Chase loved long shots so
he put his $5.00 on House even though he felt like he was probably
throwing his money away.

Once again Dr. Connoly waited for House's team to leave before catching
him late at work. She approached him as he worked at his desk under the
light of his desk lamp. He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands
in his lap.

"Well, I hope you haven't come to tell me it's twins. Maybe you just want
me to buy you some clothes that actually fit your ever increasing waist
size? Have you thought of what you will do with all those stretch marks
and extra girth around the waist after the baby is born?'

She shook her head in dismay. "I just came in to ask you if you want to be
my Delivery coach? I didn't know if you wanted to be in the delivery room
or not. If you do, then maybe you could help me with the breathing and..."
She felt awkward and embarrassed asking him this.

House didn't bat an eye, "No. I don't want to go to Delivery classes or
watch as the baby tries to wrestle out of that steel trap you call a
vagina. Now, I have work to do."

She got up and left. She was a little hurt and realized that the baby
would feel this hurt and rejection if House continued to act like this in
the future. She immediately wanted to protect the baby from House, but
knew this was going to be impossible. The child would just have to develop
thick skin.

Kerry was her coach and they had a blast in class. Most of the people in
the class assumed that they were a lesbian couple and they did nothing to
dissuade them. The pregnancy was unremarkable. The staff tried everything
that they could to get the name of the father out of her. Marie just
ignored them

House watched her as she started to waddle. He had hacked into her file
and saw the tape of the sonogram on file. The baby was well formed
and...yes, when he turned around in his mother, House could see a penis.
He was going to have a son. This one piece of information moved House.
Just knowing the gender made him realize that this wasn't a dream, a joke
or a bad hoax. A child with 24 of his chromosomes was going to be on this
earth soon. 

Kerry Hammacher was listed as the contact person. House inserted his name
and cell phone number too. No one would look at this page until it was
time for her to give birth. He now regretted having turned down Marie's
offer to let him be the coach. He did want to see the baby born, just out
of curiosity. It had been a long time since he had done his obstetrics
rotation.

Around her eighth month Marie was consulting on one of his patient's with
Cameron and Foreman. House walked in past Marie to the other side of the
patient's bed and looked back at her. He was going to make some comment
about paternity but decided to keep it to himself.

"Ow, OWW...damn him. He's kicking my ribs." Marie was doubled over and
trying to move the baby physically by pushing down on her belly from the
top.

Cameon and Foreman laughed and Cameron asked, "Can I feel?" 

"Sure."

Cameron walked over and Marie took her hand and placed it right where the
foot had been kicking. Bam, Cameron laughed. "Oh, woa...that kid has a
kick! It's a boy? You said he's' kicking my ribs."

"Yes, he's a boy and he has one hell of a kick."

House walked from around the bed and had to pass Marie to get to the door.
Marie looked at him and asked, "Would you like to feel him kick?"

House almost said no just as a reflex but he secretly had wanted to touch
her belly for a long time. He said nothing so Marie took that as a yes. He
held his hand up and she grabbed it. 

"Press a little here and he'll try to kick your hand off." House did as he
was told and smiled when he felt a thump against his hand. He gave his
team a look of embarrassment. She took his hand from the foot and placed
it down and to the left on a lump slightly protruding through her belly.
"This is his head." House turned into the doctor he was and pressed around
the head to get the best feel. He looked up and saw that he was the center
of attention both in and out of the patient's room. He immediately
withdrew his hand as if he had touched a hot stove and he almost ran out
of the room. 

Cameron and Foreman looked at each other as if to say, "What the hell was
that?"

On October 1st House was sleeping soundly for the first time in weeks. The
therapy on his leg was strengthening his muscles and helping with the
pain. The phone rang. At first he ignored it but then he remembered that
Marie was in the last few weeks of her pregnancy and it might be the
hospital. He picked the phone up it was 1:00 a.m.

"House?" He heard the female voice ask. It kind of sounded like Marie but
Marie in pain.

"Yeah?"

"I've been trying Kerry but she isn't back from her brother's wedding. I
think I'm in labor. The contractions started coming fast and furious about
half an hour ago."

"You've only been having contractions for half an hour?"

"No, I ve been having them for the last twenty-four hours but they were
five minutes apart. Now they're less than two minutes apart, I feel like
...ahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Where do you live?"

"1215 Nassau. Oh God.....please hurry.........oh."

"I'm on my way."

House got up, put his pants, shirt, socks and shoes. He grabbed his
helmet. He would have to take his motorcycle to her place because his car
was garaged for now. They could take her car to the hospital.

On the way over his heart started to race. This was so surreal. He wanted
to go back to sleep and wake up. He found the address and knocked on the
door. No one came to the door. He heard a scream. He couldn't get the door
opened, it was locked. He went around to the back and had better luck. He
went into the kitchen and saw a puddle on the floor, he was pretty sure
this was where her water had broken. He could hear some soft moaning
coming from the bathroom.

He turned the corner and saw her in the clawfoot bathtub and she was
obviously in the middle of a contraction. He grabbed his cell phone and
dialed 911. Once he gave the paramedics the address, he grabbed a sheet
out of the linen closet and laid it on the floor.

"I need for you to get out of the bathtub so I can see what's going on, I
want you to lay down on this sheet."

I'm having a baby moron, that's what's going on..." He was helping her
when the contraction hit and they both almost fell together into the
bathtub. After the contraction subsided she got out and down on the floor.
House pulled up her nightgown and was staring at the crown of his son.

"Christ, you're crowning." He got up, went to the linen closet and got
towels and then ran to a desk and started rummaging for scissors and
string. He found a ribbon around a vase and grabbed it. He ran back, she
was screaming bloody murder the whole time. 

"I don't know what they taught you but on the next contraction you need to
push like hell, ok?"

She started puffing and looking at him. She shook her head yes and the
contraction hit. She bared down with everything she could and the baby
inched a little further out. The wave of pain passed. 

"Ok, that was good, I think the next one might do it. Really, really
push."

"F#ck you......ahhh." She screamed so loud that he thought that his
eardrums were going to pop.

The baby's head popped out and House grabbed the head to support it. The
contraction stopped and he told her, "I've got the baby's head, now push
so we can get these shoulders out and then it's over except for the next
18 years of hell."

She pushed hard and the shoulders popped out and House pulled the baby the
rest of the way. He wiped the baby and was relieved when he saw that the
baby was pink and crying. She was out of breath and still having slight
contractions to push the placenta out. House tied off the umbilical cord
about two inches out of the baby's belly. There was a bang on the front
door which was still locked.

"Go around to the back, I can't get up right now." He yelled. He cut the
umbilical cord and then wrapped the baby in a bathtowel and handed him to
Marie while he waited for the placenta. By the time the placenta was
coming out, the paramedics had taken over. And House was trying to stand
up. He looked over at Marie and this wave of emotion hit him like a Mac
truck. He didn't dare cry or he wouldn't hear the last of it.

Marie was trying to hold the baby out to him. "Check him over...five toes,
five fingers...I feel so tired."

House took the baby and walked into the dining room. The paramedics said,
"Hey buddy, let us have the baby we need to check it."

Marie said, "It's ok, he's a doctor."

House asked for a stethoscope and the paramedic handed him the one around
his neck. House checked the baby's heart and lungs. They were fine. He
looked perfectly healthy. He wrapped the baby up again and looked at his
son. He was looking up towards his Dad. Doubtful that he could focus, but
he was still looking towards him. 

"Hey doc, we need to take the baby into the hospital with mom here. You
can follow us. We'll be going to Princeton General."

Both Marie and House said in unison, "Princeton-Plainsboro."

"Ok, Princeton-Plainsboro it is."

House watched them put Marie into the ambulance and he handed the baby to
the paramedic who then handed him to Marie. House went and got on his
motorcycle and followed them into the emergency room.

The staff was excited about Marie and her baby but perplexed over House
being with her. Marie explained that he had delivered the baby when she
couldn't get ahold of Kerry. It still didn't explain why she called House
instead of the paramedics or another friend, but those questions could
wait. 

"What are you going to call him?"

Marie just said, "Jack."

House went home and went to sleep after it was obvious both mother and
child were healthy. He was exhausted. The next day when he finally got
into work everyone was looking at him. Cuddy caught up with him as he was
walking into his office. The rest of the team joined her in his office.

"So, you're in the neighborhood and say to yourself, Hey, I think I'll
stop by and deliver a baby?" What were you doing?"

"I went by to pick up some journals I had lent her and I heard her
screaming."

Cuddy looked at him with a squint and wasn't sure whether she should
believe him and then it dawned on her, "At one in the morning? Come on
House, what gives?"

No one even thought that it was because House was the father. They were
sure that there would be some strange and bizarre explanation as to why he
was there. But it was Chase who figured it out.

"I've won the pool...you're the Daddy. She called you because you're the
Daddy!"

Cameron looked at Foreman and it registered on both their faces. They were
remembering the day he felt the baby. It made perfect sense.

"You slept with Marie? Did she screw you out of pity?" Foreman asked.

"I'm so delighted to be the center of your lurid imaginations but I need
to do some work. Now skidaddle, scoot, move..."

The team left but Cuddy stayed. Her mouth was still open. "House. Tell me
you're not the father."

"Ok, I'm not the father." he repeated what she asked him to tell her.

"Alright, I want you to tell me the truth. Are you the baby's father?"

"Guess you'll have to wait to see if he has blue eyes."

Cuddy smiled and turned to leave. She stopped and turned around to him,
"Just remember this is a child House, not one of your puzzles."

Before Marie left the hospital she registered Jack's full name. House
stopped into see her as she was filling out the forms. Jack was in his
bassinet looking around. House almost picked him up but decided against
it.

"You both look healthy."

"Thanks for everything you did. After I hung up with you my water broke
and all I could think to do was to get into the bathtub. Every time I
tried to get back up to go call the paramedics I'd get hit with another
contraction and fall back down. We have a decision to make and you better
think before you answer. Are you really going to be a part of Jack's life
or was that all show for the purpose of annoying me? If you are going to
be a part of his life, then I'm going hyphenate your name with mine, if
not, then just mine."

House looked down at his son and hated her for doing this to him. Whatever
came out of his mouth wasn't going to be pleasant. If he said no, then he
was a real b@stard. If he said yes, then he had to act like a dad for the
next 18 years (at least.) He felt the no forming in his head, this was too
much responsibility and it required someone who could give the child
emotions he wasn't sure he had in him. He felt the no coming out of his
mouth, "Yes, I'm going to be a part of his life." House was truly shocked.
Where did that come from?

"Ok, then I'm going to name him John after my grandfather, Gregory after
you and then Connoly-House. John Gregory Connoly-House or Jack for short."

"John is my father's name. He'll think you named him after him."

"I knew that, it's one of the reasons I chose it. I tricked Cameron into
telling me their names an where they lived."

He shook his head in appreciation of her deviousness. House watched as his
son woke up and started to cry. "He's hungry. He eats a lot. He lost a few
ounces, he went from 6 lbs. 11 oz. To 6lbs. 09 oz. but he quickly put the
weight back on...he eats all the time." She was talking while she lifted
her shirt and cradled Jack. Jack latched on and Marie cringed with pain.
"They say your nipples toughen up after a week or so..it just hurts when
he first latches on."

House was thinking this was too much information but the sight of Jack
sucking on her breasts was reminding him of his 1:32 minutes with her. It
was time to leave. "Do you have a ride home?"

"Yes."

As soon as she registered his name the hospital grape vine exploded. There
were debates over whether or not House may have raped Marie. But most
people admitted that House was an @ss, but even that was below him. They
all did the math and realized conception was sometime in December. Was it
the Christmas party? Nah, they had their big fight that day. Someone
mentioned maybe it was make up sex. But no one could picture House making
up. The moment and circumstance surrounding the conception of Jack became
the eighth wonder of the world. 

The only one it made sense to was Wilson. He had obtained the drinks at
the party only to find the two of them gone when he got back to the table.
Later, when he went to his office he found a pair of black and pink
panties kicked under his sofa. The only person who would dare use his
office as a love nest would be House. 

Wilson and House were eating in the cafeteria when someone came up to
House and said, "Congratulations." 

House could barely refrain from taking the guy's head off. Wilson piped
up, "Why do I get the feeling that Jack was conceived on my office sofa at
the Christmas party?"

House shrugged his shoulders. "It was Christmas, I was in the giving
spirit."

"Usually people give candy or music."

"So I gave sperm...you say it with candy, I say it with sperm...Merry
Christmas." 

Wilson chuckeld, "I can't imagine what you said that day that got you in
her pants."

"What can I say, I'm just a charmer, women can't resist."

Over the next year House learned how to take care of a baby. His first
weekend alone with his son was interesting. Marie made him wait until Jack
was four months old and House was fine with that. He saw Jack on occasion
at the nursery at PPTH. Marie had brought over the portable crib, a baby
seat, toys, a diaper bag full of things and then four bottles and
instruction on how to make more. She had already made House get a baby
seat installed in the back of his car. For the first three months,
whenever Jack left, he would remove the seat because he didn't want any
single women to see his bitchin' car with a baby seat in it. But he soon
discovered that some women loved the fact that he took fatherhood serious
and the baby seat advertised that. 

Jack kept House up all night long crying for his mother. House was
determined not to call Marie. Finally at 2:00 a.m. Jack gave up and fell
asleep in House's bed. House fell asleep too. At 6:45 a.m. the wailing
began again. House fed Jack and tried to distract him. He would distract
him for a few minutes and then Jack went back to crying. He then thought
he needed a diaper change. He took the diaper off of Jack and was trying
to open up the new one when his son took perfect aim and got House in the
eye. House learned to leave the old one over his son's willy while he put
the new one under him. House was rummaging in the diaper bag for a new toy
to distract his son when he came to a bottle of children's Tylenol and an
envelope addressed to him.

Dear Greg:

Jack gets fed a bottle every four-six hours along with some baby food. His
diaper should be changed at the same time or more frequent if he poops. He
is teething so he will be fussy and whenever he teeths his bottom gets red
and a little on the painful side. Inside is an ointment called Butt Paste,
use it on his butt and he will probably calm down. I put in a teething
ring, freeze it and then give it to him to munch on and it will help with
the pain in his mouth. I left you some baby tylenol which you can give him
if his wailing hits a level nine on the ten level wailing scale. Call if
nothing works and I'll come over and get him calmed down.

Marie

House got out the Butt Paste and changed Jack's diaper. He liberally
spread the paste on his butt before taping up the diaper. He put clothes
back on his son and gave him the tylenol. Within half an hour both Dad and
son were asleep with Jack laying on his Dad's chest in the easy chair.

The weekend ended in a draw, Jack hadn't won the battle but House
certainly felt the scars. When Jack left with his Mom, House had a huge
desire to call his own mother and tell her he loved her...but that soon
passed and House went to bed.

House started showing up more frequently at the nursery so that Jack
wouldn't think he was a stranger each month when House picked him up for
his weekend. Marie was grateful for the time off each month. It helped her
catch up on her sleep and do things for herself. She had to admit that she
hadn't gotten a single call from House. No matter what, he managed,
although the first time she got Jack back he had so much Butt paste on
that she had to use three washcloths to get it off.

Wilson occasionally came over and helped out when House had Jack. He
enjoyed feeding the spewing fountain known around the apartment as, "Fart
face," "Bottom feeder," or "Ankle Biter." He occasionally heard House use
Jack's real name but it was usually in passing. Marie mentioned to House
when he picked Jack up in his ninth month that Jack had not crawled yet.
Instead, Jack continued to try and pull himself up and walk around the
house while holding onto things. She was concerned, she had read that
crawling helps kids' hardwiring for math. House had gotten Jack back to
the apartment and was attempting to watch television and play with Jack on
the floor. Jack was over by the couch and House had his back to the
ottoman. House had expected Jack to walk to him by grabbing the couch and
using it to hold himself up. Instead Jack turned and took three steps on
his own before falling to the floor. House was excited. He picked Jack up.

"Hey dude, come on, you can do it again. Walk to Daddy. Come on, walk to
Daddy."

Jack took two steps and fell. "Like father like son...we're both not very
good at that walking thing...only hopefully, you'll get better."

By the end of the weekend Jack was taking four or five steps before
landing on his diapered butt. When Marie came over House had her come into
the apartment and he put Jack through his paces.

"Come on dude, show mom your stuff...strut it for the man...or woman..."

Jack was laughing and smiling as House held out his arms for Jack to walk
into. Jack took five steps and then got wobbly so House caught him.

"Isn't that cool?" House turned to Marie who was crying. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? I work my ass off to save for college for him, I'm with him
24/7, I don't get any sleep, I don't get to date, I don't do anything but
make sure he's ok and what does he do? HE WALKS FOR YOU...HE TAKES HIS
FIRST STEPS FOR YOU! It just isn't fair." Her lips were quivering.

House actually felt bad for her. It was one of those milestones that would
go in his baby book and she wasn't there for it. He quietly picked up
Jack, grabbed his diaper bag and handed them to her. 

"Thanks." she said and then left.

House rubbed his forehead and looked around. His apartment had become a
strange mixture of bachelor pad and kiddie playroom. He now had a
highchair, toys, stroller and small crib dotting various areas of his
apartment. What a difference a year makes.

When Marie entered the hospital with the appendicitis, Kerry had taken her
in and then dropped Jack off with House. House called Wilson and told him
that he couldn't make the jazz festival and that Wilson should give his
ticket to someone. Wilson asked if he needed any help. House said, "Not
yet."

Jack was running these days and House found it impossible to catch him. He
had to wait for him to run out of steam. Jack was doing a lot of
vocalizing. He had mastered, "Dada" and "mama" in his twelfth month. In
fact, he had said them first for House. The weekend he said them he made
sure that when Marie arrived he was quick to ask her, "Has he said any
words yet?"

"No, but he babbles all the time, I think it's just a matter of time."
Which, on cue, Jack said "Dada' and held out his arms to House. Marie
looked at House suspiciously. "Has he been saying Dada or is that his
first time?"

House knew better, "It's his first time...how cool is that? He said it for
both of us!!"

He was glad he lied, Marie looked genuinely happy and delighted that she
had been present for his "first words." House had gained a certain
appreciation for Marie, even if she was a cow. Except for the one
outburst, she never complained or asked him to do anything. Her life had
gone on hold while House's social life had taken off. He was seeing a
woman who couldn't have kids and thought it was great that House had one
and that he was active in Jack's life. For the first time in a long time
House was getting laid regularly. He looked at Marie, she was tired. He
could see it in her face and in her body. She was beat. Working all day at
the hospital and coming home to a toddler was taking its toll on her.

Marie called him from the hospital. "I'll be out of the hospital tomorrow
but I can't lift Jack for a week. I really hate to ask you, but can you
either take him for a week or come over to my house at night and help me
with him?"

"A WEEK? Ugh...well he and I have been doing ok for the last two days, I
guess a week more won't hurt."

"Would you mind bringing him by to see me tomorrow when I get out. I miss
him terribly."

"Alright, I'll bring him by after I pick him up from daycare."

"Thanks Greg. I'm sorry about this."

"Yeah, boo hoo. Goodbye."

He knocked on the door and a bent over Marie answered the door. Marie
smiled broadly and Jack held out his arms for his mother. 

"Jack, let Mommy sit on the couch and then you can come up to me." She
went and sat down on the couch and House put Jack on her lap. She kissed
him up and down his face, on his fingers and arms. She held him close.
"Did you miss me? I missed you Jack in the Box.'" She smiled gratefully at
House and he gave her the faintest of smiles back. 

"You were bent over, are you in pain?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's painful when I walk." she winced a little.

"Here's an idea, don't walk."

"Gee, how insightful." She said as Jack sat on her lap.

"Are you going to take him to your place or stay here?"

"I figure I'd take him back with me so that you can get some sleep. At
least for the next few days." He sat down on the ottoman.

She looked desperately disappointed. "You're right. Is there anything you
need for him?"

"More jars of food and some clean clothes."

She put Jack to the side and pushed herself up to go into the kitchen, she
winced. House grabbed Jack by the hand and followed Marie. In the kitchen
there was a grocery list on the refrigerator. She got out some jars of
food and a bag. Then she went to the bottom of the stairs and looked up. 

"I'll go get the clothes, you stay down here and keep him occupied...don't
pick him up no matter how many times he bats those blue eyes at you."
House climbed the stairs using his cane. He wasn't sure where Jack's room
was and so he went into the first one. It turned out to be her bedroom. He
looked around, the room was nice and comfortable. It had a queen size bed
with lots of pillows. The room was in beige, blue and cream. It had a bay
window and lots of room. He left and went into the next room which was
obviously Jack's room. It was great, it had a scene of a sailboat sailing
on one wall and on the shore across from that wall was fictional
characters waving. It wasn't too sweet, but it was a great room for a
little boy. He grabbed some clothes for Jack and made his way downstairs.
Jack was playing on the floor with some toys and Marie was in the easy
chair. 

House took off with Jack and kept wondering if Marie had any food to eat.
He hadn't even thought to ask if she needed anything. He got home, fixed
dinner for Jack, fed him and put him to bed.

Each night on the way home from day care, House would stop by Marie's
house. "I really wish you would consider staying over for the next three
days. I can't tell you how much I miss him. Please House?"

He looked like he was in pain. "Alright, for the next three nights I'll
stay over with you two."

House was good to his word, he brought over a bag the next day after work
and put it up in the guest room. He took the baby monitor out of her
bedroom and put it in the guest room. 

He went downstairs and got a beer out of the refrigerator. After a few
minutes he said, "Excuse me." He grabbed the newspaper and went into the
downstairs toilet. The next thing he heard was Jack banging on the door.
"Jack, daddy taking a dump is not a community event...leave me alone." But
Jack kept yelling at the door and banging on it. Marie came over and got
him and pulled him into the kitchen again but Jack ran back to the
bathroom door. Marie was laughing to herself as Jack started yelling,
"Dada" and kicking the door. "Jack, trust me, you don't want to be in
here...go away." He wished that Marie would remove Jack. She came over and
got Jack again. 

"I can't pick him up to put him in his high chair. Sorry, but he's just
going to bang on that door until you come out or you let him in...I
usually just end up letting him in...he brings a toy in and well, I do my
business." She was yelling through the door.

She pulled Jack into the kitchen again so that she could watch the food on
the stove. Jack made his way back to the bathroom door. She heard the door
open and close. House had surrendered. Everything was silent. Apparently
it WAS a community event. "Welcome to my world." She said to herself.

House eventually came out and put Jack up in the highchair. She fed him
and cleaned him up while House sat at the counter drinking a beer. She put
a plate of food down in front of House and he began to eat. It was roast
beef, mashed potatoes and a corn casserole. It was delicious and it was
homemade, something he hadn't had since Wilson left him. That was a cruel
divorce, he loved Wilson's cooking.

Afterwards House grabbed Jack and they went into the living room. She gave
Jack his night bottle and after a few minutes he fell asleep. House put
him over his shoulder and took him upstairs to his room and put him down.
He came back downstairs.

She wasn't in the living room, he heard her out in the garage. He went out
to where she was. She was stooped over a box holding her stitches. 

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I was just trying to get a few things."

"What things?"

"Forget it, you'll think I'm just a silly cow."

"I already think that." he said without a smile.

"I was trying to get a few decorations out."

"Decorations?" House asked.

"In case you forgot, Christmas is in a week and I haven't got the
decorations out, I don't have a tree and I don't have any gifts for Jack.
I just thought if I could get the decorations out of this box I could at
least have something out for Christmas." She said as she pulled out some
garland.

"You are joking, right? I mean he's so young, he isn't going to remember."

"But I will, I won't have the video or photos of him opening his gifts or
playing with his new toys. I won't even have the first photo of him with
Santa." 

"You are so brainwashed by the system...you've bought into the whole
Christmas thing, haven't you?"

"What if I have? I just want him to have Christmas, is that so bad?" She
grabbed the garland and a couple of candles and walked back inside.

House shook his head and threw up his hands. He grabbed the box with the
words, Xmas Decorations on it and brought it inside.

"Thanks." She started to put things up in the living room. House watched
her but didn't help. " So you don't celebrate Christmas at all?" She
asked.

"Not really. I go to Christmas parties, mainly to have a quickie... and
Wilson usually comes over for a turkey tv dinner, but that's it."

"That's kind of sad."

"Not really, we have a good time."

The next day House was at work playing catch with his ball. He was
thinking about Jack. It was harder keeping up with him, but it was
actually getting easier to take care of him. House didn't get so
frustrated or tired around him. Taking care of him wasn't a matter of
trial and error, he kind of knew instinctively what to do now. His son had
a very interesting personality, he was a pretty happy kid. Everyone always
said so when he took him out. House was starting to feel more and more
like a father and less like a useless appendage.

Marie was a piece of work. She had opinions on everything and she shared
some of them with him last night. He was impressed with her background.
Her parents were lower middle-class with no money to send her to college.
She worked hard to go to the local community college, then the state
college, and then medical college at Harvard on scholarships and loans.
She had always done well in school. She worked hard and did what she could
to help others all of her life. She had worked for Doctors without Borders
for two years after she got out of her residency. She was, in all sense of
the words, a good person. She was the kind of person that you'd want to be
the mother of your child. Maybe not the woman you want to share your bed
with or take to the Bahamas, but certainly she made a good mother.

The next night on the way home with Jack, House saw a Christmas tree lot
and thought of Marie. But he kept going. He drove another mile before he
cursed and turned around. He went back to the lot and asked the attendant
to pick out his best 9 foot tree and strap it onto his car roof. House was
holding fast to Jack who was squirming and trying to get loose to run
around.

He got to the house and took Jack in. He turned around to go back out to
the car. "Where are you going?" Marie asked.

"There's something in the car I need." It took awhile to undo the tree on
his car. He dragged it a few feet and then a neighbor came over to give
him a hand. They took it inside the house and stood it up. He thanked the
neighbor and after he left, House went into the kitchen where Marie was
cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen bar to watch Jack massacre a
banana. Marie handed him a beer.

"It smells good."

"It's Chicken Korma with rice and lentils. I hope you like Indian?"

"Yep."

They talked about House's newest patient and Marie told him that it
sounded like a mild case of Marburg. House laughed and said, "Is there
such a thing as a mild case?"

"Lots. When I was in Africa we had lots of patients that presented with
Marburg that weren't dying on us. The problem is that if they get anything
else then the virus flares and bam you have a dead patient."

"Well, let's hope that he doesn't have Marburg because a hospital is the
perfect place to pick up another infection. Besides, he hasn't been to
Africa."

"Has he been anywhere else in the world?"

"Just Germany."

"House, why do you think it's called Marburg? It's because the disease
killed dozens of people in Marburg, Germany before they determined what it
was. Occasionally, they get a flare up. They haven't lost anyone in
several years. Did you know the last known case in the USA was a patient
in New Jersey?"

"Ok, I'll check for Marburg tomorrow."

"Check for Dengue Fever and Ebola too while you're at it. The disease
sounds hemorrhagic in nature even if you're aren't seeing bleeding."

She sat down at the bar with him and ate dinner. She gave Jack some
chicken to chew on and some rice. 

"He's pretty entertaining when he eats, huh?" House remarked.

"Is that what you call it? I call it messy."

House took Jack out of the high chair and gave him a tonka toy. He amused
himself on the floor with the truck. Marie was done and asked House if he
wanted another beer?

"No, I'm fine."

She started out to the living room. As soon as she saw the tree she
squealed, "House, I...I...don't know what to say. I can't believe you did
this. Why did you do this? I thought Christmas sucked."

"It still does, but if you want Jack to have his second Christmas, then he
should have it."

"Thank You." She walked over and gave him an awkward hug. She wasn't
comfortable giving House any affection and it was obvious from his stance
that he was embarrassed receiving it.

House picked up Jack, "I think I'll get him washed up."

"Do you need the sink for his bath?"

"Nah, he and I just take a shower together...it's our boy time. He asks me
about girls, I tell him about wearing protection...of course I tell him I
can speak from experience."

"Funny. I didn't know that he liked showers."

"Just wait, you'll hear a lot of happy screaming in a few minutes."

He was right. She could hear Jack squealing with delight and it made her
smile. He was so cute. She wished she could sneak in and take some videos,
he sounded like he was having a ball. House got him dressed in his pajamas
and then played with him on his bedroom floor until he was tired. He put
him down.

He went back downstairs and she offered House the remote. "There's Greys
Anatomy and Law & Order, but nothing really good on television."

"I can't stand Grey's Anatomy. Apparently the only thing anyone has time
for in the hospital is sex, cheating on your spouse or falling in love
with patients."

"House, we had sex on Wilson's couch."

"Well that was a one off' thing. Besides if it happened today I'd win."

"Sure you would."

"Hey part of your charm was how tight you were. After Jack I doubt that's
a factor."

"You think that after having a baby that I'm not as tight...or as good?
Wanna BET on it?"

They both broke down laughing. It was the first time they had actually
laughed at something together. "I've learned my lesson the hard way about
betting on sex. I think I'll stick to the ponies and football." He was
still laughing.

"Good plan."

"How are you feeling?"

"Good, I go in tomorrow to have my stitches checked."

"I seem to recall you're a doctor. Can't you check your own stitches?"

"Yeah, but he wants to see if I'm well enough to lift Jack. This is a good
thing, I'm sure you'd like to get back to normal."

House had mixed feelings. He liked being fed and he liked feeling like he
was walking into a home and not an apartment. And he usually liked having
someone to talk to when he got home. On the other hand, he missed his
piano and the ability to not have to talk to another human if he didn't
want to talk. 

The next morning he packed up his bag and loaded it in the car and then
went back for Jack. He drove him to the daycare which was in a building
next to the hospital. Marie was going to pick him up from daycare if she
got the all clear. If not, then House would pick him up.

Marie picked Jack up. She got home and lifted him out of the car. So far,
so good. When she got inside the house she looked at the tree and realized
that she needed to get the tree decorations out of the garage too.

House went home and put his bag in the bedroom. He was glad to have a
moment to himself. He sat down at his piano and played for awhile. He
poured himself a single malt whiskey and continued to play. He wondered if
Jack would enjoy music as much as he did. He hoped so. It would be cool to
jam with him.

She got out the lights and strung them around while Jack played with the
ribbon. She waited until Jack was in bed to put the rest of the
decorations on the tree. You could see the tree from the street and so she
grabbed her sweater and ran outside to the sidewalk. She was proud of her
work. The tree looked beautiful. House had picked out a good one.

The next few days she tried to catch up. On Saturday she had Jack's photo
taken with Santa and got several copies for her and her family. She went
to KB Toys and bought some toys for Jack who was busy playing in his
stroller with his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She picked up some
groceries, including a small turkey for their Christmas dinner.

It was the afternoon of Christmas eve and she and Jack dropped by House's
apartment. They knocked on his door and he opened it up. He wasn't
expecting them and so he wondered why they were there.

"We brought Jack's gift to you and we wanted to wish you a Merry
Christmas."

He was still standing at the door trying to decide what he was suppose to
do. "Uh, come on in. I have his gifts too."

"Well, you could open his gift and he could open yours and then we'll let
you have your Christmas Eve back to enjoy." 

House opened the door and they came in. She took Jack's coat off and he
was standing there in an elf suit. House started cracking up, he looked so
stupid but cute in his elf suit. He had a little hat that went with it
that had big elf ears on the sides. Marie started laughing with him.

House finally got down on the floor with Jack and handed him a gift. He
pulled the paper off and the box showed a picture of blocks with letters,
animals and numbers. "I thought he could leave them here to play with when
he comes over."

"Sure." 

Then House pulled out a three wheeled toddler motorcycle and Marie rolled
her eyes. He also handed Jack a box and when they opened it there was a
toddler leather motorcycle jacket. 

"Oh my God!" Marie started laughing at her son in his motorcycle jacket. 

House opened his gift. Inside the little box was a framed photo of Jack
with Santa. Jack was laughing as usual. Underneath the photo was a plaster
of Paris imprint of Jack's little hand painted in gold with a ribbon
running through the plaster so that it could be hung. House wasn't sure
what he felt. It was pretty cheesy, but what else did he expect from a 13
month old? 

He kissed Jack and then smiled at Marie, "Thanks."

Marie handed him another gift, it was from her, it was the new Tom Waits
CD. He had almost bought it the other night but didn't want to wait in the
huge line. Now he felt bad, he had no gift for her.

"Thanks again." House shook his head in approval.

"Well, we're out of here, we know you weren't expecting us." She whisked
Jack up and headed for the door. She turned around and held Jack out,
"Give daddy a Merry Christmas kiss."

Jack puckered his lips and House gave his son another kiss. "Merry
Christmas."

And they were gone. House looked at the photo and put it on his piano. He
also looked at the plaster of Paris and put his hand over the imprint of
his sons. He chuckled to himself. He looked around. There was his jazz
poster hanging on the wall next to the bookcase. He removed it and put it
down on the floor. He hung the gold Plaster of Paris in its place and then
he went to call Wilson.

 He met Wilson at a local dive and they had a few beers. House was still
riding his motorcycle since the weather hadn't turned icy. He preferred
his motorcycle to his car any day. On his way home he found himself taking
a detour. He was in front of their house. The Christmas tree was
beautiful, all lit up and glittering with ornaments. She had even strung
lights around the picture window. The low glow of Jack's night light was
shining from the second floor meaning that Jack was in bed waiting for
Santa. House took another look at the Christmas tree and then put his
visor back on. He gunned his motorcycle and headed back to his apartment. 

 THE END Merry Christmas

  
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Legal Disclaimer: The authors published here make no claims on the
ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of
Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House
(and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property
of NBC/Universal, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I
am only peripherally aware. The fan fiction authors published here receive
no monetary benefit from their work and intend no copyright infringement
nor slight to the actual owners. We love the characters and we love the
show, otherwise we wouldn't be here.