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  Crush me 
 by Liar  

 This is my first fiction, my first post altogehter. I really, really hope
you'll like it. And one thing before you (hopefully) start reading... I am
not english, so to be honest, I'm a bit afraid of .. making a fool of
myself cause of some mistakes or stuff. I did my best guys, I promise!

Crush me

Now he is with that bitch. Whatever. I'm fine with this. I'm not. Shit.
Seriously. What is that? What's going on? I mean, this is pathetic. And
embarrassing as well. House popped another pill. He was sitting on his
couch at his appartement. Last week he gave his blessing to that fucking
relationship. That was a dumb idea anyway. He should've just shut up. But
he couldn't. As always. As he couldn't ever let something just go -
Particularly when it had to do with his best friends love life. But it had
never been like this before. He was always joking around, or playing some
stupid little games - But this time, it was something serious. He could
feel this. And that was scarying him. And the point THAT this was scarying
him scared him even more. Cause it was not just that he feared Wilson
would spend more time with his silly girlfriend. Wilson had a few
relationships before. But House had always known that he was still his
number one. ( Oh boy, how does THAT sound like? ) He knew that Wilson
liked him and that no woman could ever keep up with him. But this woman
was so much like House himself - That she'd probably make him useless. And
she gave him sex as an extra. Holy crap he didn't even wants to think
about that. And this is the most shocking thing in this totally dizzying
story. He didn't want her to touch him. Fuck. He wanted Wilson for
himself. In every kind of way. But he'll take this to the grave.

---

It was noon and House went into the Cafeteria to have lunch. On his own.
Wilson had not been in his office. Of course they didn't had a lunch-date.
But they always had lunch together. Whatever. He didn't care. When he was
looking for a free table he saw them. Wilson and that Cutthroat Bitch
sitting on a table, looking like a silly highschool couple. Kinky. House
glanced all over the place but there wasn't any free table. They should
definitely raise the prices so that the mob couldn't afford it anymore.
Then he heard that hated voice calling him "Greg" (he hated her calling
him like that). He pretended peering. And tried to put up a suprised face
when he finally "found" them. CB beckoned him over (This woman is just
embarassing). Wilson didn't even look at him. Might have to do with House'
acting over the last week. He did all his best to annoy CB whenever she
showed up at the hospital. But this bitchy thing didn't seem to give a
shit. That would normally impress him. Cause she acted the way he would do
- damn - But he hated her for being like that. He finally reached the
table and sat down. "Hey Greg." "Hey CB". "Would you mind calling her
Amber?" "Yer" House answered while starting to eat. Wilson rolled his
eyes. "I don't care about that James" Would SHE mind not calling him
James??? "We'll have a little party tonight at our appartement. Would you
like to stop by?" "What kinda party - A WE will be pregnant soon party?"
"I am already pregnant" "WHAT?" House almost spit out the food he'd been
chewing. "Just kidding" "Oh you're a funny little thing, aren't you?" 

---

It was already 8 in the evening and House was still at home. And he had
decided to stay there. He sat down on his couch, switched the tv on and
reached for his half-filled whiskey glas when his phone rang. After the
third ring he picked it up. "Yeah?" "House it's me.." His heart started
beating unusual fast. And he knew that - He was a doctor. "Hey Wilson.
What's up?" "I thought you'll drop over?" "Well .. I'm tired" "It's just 8
Greg" SIGH. Don't call me Greg. "Come on, please .. I want you to be here"
This man was a player. For sure. "Okay.."

He managed to get there in just a couple of minutes, the speedy
combination of vicodin and alcohol did one's bit. He knocked and the Amber
bitch opened. Obviously slightly drunk. If alcohol possibly doubled her
annoying attributes he should get his ass out of this place in less than a
minute. But then Wilson appeared at the door and draged him inside the
room. There were just a few people sitting somewhere, drinking and talking
and ... Thirteen and the rest of the gang was here as well. What a nice
surprice. He managed just to say hello and then found a place near the
wall, sitting down and drinking a beer. And another. Where the hell was
Wilson? That fucking idiot. "Hey House.. you okay?" Wilson sat down on the
armrest of his chair and glanced at him. With his wunderful dark eyes.
"I'm fine. Thanks" It seemed as if Wilson was getting more and more
adorable day - to - day. Or even minute. CB appeared. Leaning forward to
kiss Wilson. This evening was becoming more and more facinating. He stood
up to get another beer and decided to drink himself to death and then
drive home. Tricky. After an hour or so, House was drunk. As fuck. He
looked for Wilson. But he couldn't see him anywhere. So he stood up.
Somehow. Grapped his cane and made his way to the kittchen. "Hey Wilson.."
He was actually suprised how sober his voice sounded. Maybe it was because
of Wilson, looking at him with his shiny eyes - and made him be sober at a
moment's notice. Nearly. "Greg.." Shiver. "James, please dump her" "I
mean, If you love me you should really dump her" WHAT??? What the hell was
he saying? "James?" "House .. I .. why should I? Cause you don't like her?
Cause you don't want me to be happy, cause-.." "I want you to be happy.
But you won't be with her" House went back to the kitchen door, closed it
softly and came back to the middle of the room. "House. Tell me. WHY
should I leave her. I have to know". A longer pause followed. "You know
why, don't ask me that." "I want you to tell me.." Houses felt like being
very close to cracking up. He peered at Wilson, wasn't able to avert his
eyes. He should leave that room. Now. "Greg, tell me! " These following
words just splutter. And he couldn't stop them anymore: " 'Cause... cause
I don't want her to be around you. Don't want her to be that close. Don't
want her .. to touch you. Fuck. James. I want ..." Suddenly the door went
open. House hobbled back and his cane felt on the floor with a bang. It
was Thirteen. Looking completely confused. And switched over to a grin.
She closed the door and was gone. "Fuck" Wilson said. Then he looked at
House, mumbled something like "Sorry" and left the room as well.

About 15 minutes later House left the kitchen and went back to the living
room. The scene was not as weird as House had expected. Thirtseen was
sitting on the couch without any expression on her face. Thank god.
Cameron probably would have started a "how to get over being cheated" -
psychological - talk. EVEN noone had cheated anyone. But for cameron the
very thought of it would be enough. So everything seemed to be quite right
here (as far as you could call it right). So House took his belongings and
with a short "I'm leaving" he made his way to the door.

---

When Wilson went to bed tonight he was smiling. The hotel bed wasn't as
comfortable as the one at Amber's House. But it felt right. Absolutely
right.

---

There is a big difference between being in love but never act it out. And
beeing in love and .. and do it. However named. This would change
everything. That would kill him. Thats the last thing left. And thats
exactly the point were they .. or better he had to draw the line at. Cause
if they would go any further there won't be any chance to go back. He had
gone that far once. Once too much. It had almost killed him. And he won't
be able to get over something like this again. And he knew it would fail.
Of course it would. Not mentioned that Wilson didn't want something like
that. But IF .. it would fail. Beause he, House, wasn't able to handle
something like that. He would blow it up. After a while he would not have
something more to give. After a few weeks everyone would find out that
there was nothing hidden behind his sarcastic face. No love, not even ..
something. Did that sound pathetic again? Yes. But it was the fucking
truth. There was nothing hidden. He never understood why everyone seemed
to believe that there was a nice, sentimental House waiting to be found.
What a crap.

His pager. Wilson wanted to see him in his office. This guy had timing for
god's sake. But now, when House had everything under control, it was not
going to be a big thing. After that time of thinking, of figuring out
everything which definitely will stop him from thinking of Wilson anymore.
In THAT specific kind of way. All this calmed him down. He actually felt
normal, just like a man does, who was going to see his best friend. Cool.
He reached Wilsons office and entered the room. Wilson was standing with
his back towards House, doing something not to specify on his desk. He
heard House and turned around. Fuck. His eyes. They were magic. That
wasn't fair. House couldn't help himself trying to catch Wilsons gaze. He
shaked. And quickly turned his eyes down. "What's up Wilson?" "Wanted to
see you.." "To tell me what?" "Was not actually about telling you
something.." Wilson came closer. What the hell?? No James. Don't do that.
He looked at him that kinda way too long which made the difference between
a friendly glance and making a pass at someone. Wilson wasn't more than an
inch away, looking at him all along. "Wilson, I..." "Shut up Greg" Wilson
grinned. No, No, No! DON'T.. House could even feel his best mates breath.
It gave him shivers. Every fucking second. He had to stop that .. befor ..
fuck. House was breathing faster, also a quiet, suppressed moaning left
his mouth. And Wilsen didn't even TOUCHED him. That was insane, he was
going mad. He was going to lose the little rest of his selfcontrol. He HAD
to stop that .. somehow ...

And then "WHAM". A second later Wilson lied on the floor. Just too shocked
to realise that he was bleeding. Then he felt it, running down his chin.
But he didn't care. Just staring at House with his dark eyes. Full of
fear, shock and .. after a few seconds: sadness. House turned around,
opened the door and left without a word. Not even a gaze.

He was sitting there for more than an hour. Just sitting, staring at the
door. He wasn't able to figure out what he was feeling. Nothing at all.
NOTHING. It was almost dark outside, so Wilson stood up, tried to clean
his face from the now dried blood, took his belongings and left his
office.

Wilson reached his hotel room without knowing how he could even found his
way back. Cause he couldn't pay any attention at anything - the street,
the traffic lights.. anything. He sat down on the bed. Stood up again and
opened this little fridge. He'd never used it before. But this time he had
to. He reached for the Whiskey-Bottle, got it and opened it in a second.
He didn't even look after a glas or something. What a useless waste of
time, too much time to feel something. And thats exactly what he wanted to
antagonise. Feeling something, anything.

What happened? WHAT? What the hell was he thinking? But fuck .. did he get
it all wrong? All this .. signs? Oh boy. But.. what was he doing? Blaming
HIMSELF??? How pathetic. House this bastard punched him. For which reason?
For gettin' too close? But he was sure, pretty sure that House wanted that
too. For months. Maybe longer. What ment all this jealousy when House
actually didn't give a shit about nothing at all? Or was he actually ..
disgusted? That thought almost killed him. He hated him. And fell asleep.*

---

He must had drove for hours. Blind. Fast. It was cold outside but he was
sweating.Finally, about midnight he reached his home. Or better his
appartement. He was high on vicodine. As he sat down on his couch he
picked up his phone. Made a short call and leaned back. House closed his
eyes. And there was still that face. This face he was trying to get out of
his mind for the last hours. His best friends face - With an expression he
never had seen on him before. House shivered. What was that all about?
Wilson finally seemed to want him too. And then he couldn't. Panic was
what he felt when Wilson came closer. His heart started beating again.
House opened his eyes. He just realised that he was sitting in a unlighted
room. Still wearing his shoes and jacket. He stood up, walked through the
room.. then.. it knocked. House jerked. Stood there, no moving, no
breathing. Then he simmered down at once and a little smile settled down
on his face. And disappeared after a second. He grapped his cane, walked
to the door and opened. "Hello, I am Cathrine .." the not even 25 years
old woman smiled. "Come in.." House answered .. more whispery than he
wanted it to sound like.

---

"What do we have today?" House asked in a happy way - quite over the top.
Thirteen looked at him. Astonished. "Well...." "28 year old female,
collapsed while shopping" Taub told him. "Interesting" House rolled his
eyes. "She was unconscious for about a minute and couldn't even speak
after regaining consciousness .. she was just mumbling and shivering her
daughter told us" "Maybe she wasn't in the mood to talk to an annoying
11-year-old brat?" House asked while glancing at the elevater which had
already just stopped. The door slid open and ... Cuddy was comming out.
"Damn no." he mubled. "How could you know that her daughter was 11"? ...
well that suprised him as well. "Felt it. Sort of". "I'm gonna go out for
lunch" House declared, walking to the door. "It's just about 10 and you're
here for 10 minutes now" "Well then call it brunch if that satisfies you
.." and he left. The elavater doors had just opened when .. "House?" "I
can't, Emergency" "What kind of?" Cuddy asked him while rising an eyebrow.
"Well personally .. you know" "No I don't. You have no private life,
remember?" House turned around. "House I have to talk to you .. about.."
"Yer?" "About Wilson." He flinched. "What is with him?" "I though you
would probably know House" "How could I? Am I his mummy?" "No ... but I
though his friend." Silence. Their eyes met for a moment. Then House
averted his gaze. "I don't know." He pressed the button to call the
elevator again, the last one had just passed. "He's miserable House, don't
you care a bit? I don't know what happened. He ..." "Why do YOU care so
much? If you do then it should be YOU cheering the little boy up .. he'd
appreciate that" House said way too loud. And aggressive. Cuddy looked
confused. "Would you mind, showing up at your best friends office .. just
for a second? He's in there for hours. Stairing at the wall doing nothing"
"The lazy bastard" House said and entered the elevater. "I'm worrying
about him .. " Cuddy said .. with a bit of a desperate expression on her
face. House left the elevater. "Thanks" Cuddy smiled. House walked back,
passing his office and the room where is staff was still stitting. After a
few meters he turned around .. "House?" "I'm just solving the case" "It's
Morbus. Wilson." he declared. And left.

A footstep before he reached Wilsons office House stopped. FUCK. What
should he say? This is ridiculous. He decided to leave that shit at itself
when he catched a glimpse of Wilson sitting behind his desk. With his head
in his hands. Not moving. Just sitting there. A picture of misery. Damn.
He stood there for a few moments, jerked when Wilson lifted up his head.
But he didn't recognize him. So House decided to watch him for a while ..
so adorable .. his hair, he loved his hair .. his eyes, his skin. Also
that sad look on his face was far to pretty.. and touching as well, in a
sad kind of way. And it was back again, this feeling he could not resist.
This need to be with him. He entered the room. "Wilson, I.." "I don't care
what you want so say - Get yourself out of this damned room! NOW!" "James,
I just ..." "Don't call me like that" Wilson looked back at his desk. At
the non-existing papers he'd to check out now. "I am sorry, I was just ..
I don't know. I couldn't..." "LEAVE. I don't want you to be here. I don't
want you be part of my life. I don't care anymore. NOT AT ALL. Get it? You
fucking bastard. Get out or .. I don't know what I'm doing then" "Just..
just do it". "OUT"

---

Wilson was sitting in his office. He couldn't believe what happened during
the last two days. In fact - He dumped Amber. For House! He was shaking
his head cause of his own stupidity. He thought .. yesterday, that talk in
the kitchen ment something. He thought House would have told him that HE
wanted him. (If that dumb Thirteen hadn't entered the room) That he wanted
Wilson to dump Amber cause HE wanted some kind of a .. man that seemed SO
silly now .. some kind of relationship. But obviously he didn't want
anything. He just wanted him to be as alone as he is. He didn't want him
to dump Amber cause he thought she wasn't the right one - He just wanted
him to be as miserable as he was. That selfish bastard. And now? He was
alone. Again. Right - Amber wasn't the perfect woman, but she was alright.
And Wilson - the naiv idiot - asked House to come here .. to give him,
what he thought he wanted for months. And what Wilson actually wanted for
years. For fucking years. All the time he had known what the real deal was
- non of his wifes. House was all he wanted. But there had never been a
serious sign, never something that made him hoping for a chance. And then
Amber came and House was as jealous as he'd never been - Wilson THOUGHT.
For the first time he was sure that House felt the same. Didn't House told
him yesterday that he didn't want Amber to be too close to him? Didn't
that mean that instead of her HOUSE wanted to be close? And what
happened?? He punched him for gettin' too close. This could be even funny
if he wasn't feeling like crying his heart out. And what was this all
about, a few minutes ago? House was showing up to "explain" something?
What?? He had to be really happy now cause obviously Wilson did exactly
what he was intending. House hates him. No other explanation. No really
friend would do that. Not even a random person on that fucking planet
whould do that to a stranger.

---

The thing he hated most about that ambulance were the patients. All of
them. Especially these ones who didn't come with symptoms but with
diagnoses. Probably they were here just to get another diagnose to sue
google afterwards for releasing false information. Probably they would win
the process. That must be that well known american dream.

House decided to leave the hospital for a while, spending his last working
hours in the park nearby. He sat down and closed his eyes. At once he
could see Wilson. He gazed at him with that unbelievable expression on his
face. Want. Desire. Need. He came closer. He reached him, suddenly House
could feel Wilsons hand on his chest, moving upwards. He touched his face,
gently .. his lips came closer, not an inch away .. "House???" He winced,
almost fell off the bench. It was Cuddy. Damn - And HE was close to jerk
off. Wow. "What the hell are you doing here? Your patients are waiting!"
"I had to think.." Cuddy raised an eyebrow .. "About what?" "I can't tell
you anything you know? Private.." "You can go back to your private
thoughts when you cured your patients.. your team is waiting for you.
There is a new case, supposably cancer." "So you solved the case, concrats
Cuddy" "SUPPOSABLY cancer" "Then talk to Wilson - I'm not the
"crying-with-my-dying-pations"- one.. remember?" "He's not there" House
looked at her the first time. "Where is he?" "He's at home, he was
miserable.. "I'm miserable too - And I'm here .. As you see, I sacrifice
myself for the job" "Right. Then DO your job" "I'm gonna bring your
oncologist back to work" House stood up, took his cane and veered toward
the parking lot. "House..?" "What?" "He's back at this hotel, not at
Ambers place anymore.." House hesitated, "..right."

---

Wilson hated this hotel room. It was ugly. Empty. But the little fridge
had been replenished again. Joy.

Wilson winced by the knock on the door. He didn't move. It knocked again.
He stood up, reached the door and opened it slowly. House didn't say a
word. He pushed Wilson in the room, gently. House closed the door by
leaning against it, he pulled Wilson closer. And kissed him. Passionate.
He touched him, all-over. Wilson moaned, that was .. just .. incredible.
House raised his eyes, they looked at each other ... in burning passion.
House leaned forward and kissed him again, Wilson returned the kiss
eagerly, pushing against House so both could feel what the other one
wanted. Without a doubt. Wilson could feel a hand in his crotch... he
gasped. House reached for his belt to unfasten it. Wilson could fell his
hand in his pants now...that was insane, but incredible good. "C'mon .. "
he said in a breathy voice. House he speeds up, his hand was moving fast
and firm over Wilsons cock.. he breathed heavily, he groaned and then he
came. Wilson was standing there, still wheezing, sweat on his forehead..
On the top of the world. "I love.." "Shh.. don't say that" House looked
away. "This never happened." He turned away from Wilson and left.

---

THE END, thanks for reading  
   Please post a comment on this story.  


Legal Disclaimer: The authors published here make no claims on the
ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of
Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House
(and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property
of NBC/Universal, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I
am only peripherally aware. The fan fiction authors published here receive
no monetary benefit from their work and intend no copyright infringement
nor slight to the actual owners. We love the characters and we love the
show, otherwise we wouldn't be here.