Chapter 07: My Melancholy Baby      

My Melancholy Baby 

 

 

Cuddy was sitting in one of her office chairs, a folder propped open
against her lap, when she heard a soft knock.She turned and saw Wilson
opening the door. 

 

"Hey," he said, leaning against the handle and looking at her with a
puzzled expression on his face."You still here?" he asked. 

 

She shrugged her shoulders."No point in going home now, the board meeting
is due to start in less than fifteen minutes." 

 

He looked even more perplexed."I thought you weren't going to the meeting
tonight?" 

 

She tossed the folder onto the table in front of her."Change of plans,"
she said, shortly. 

 

"So, I wasted all that time talking to Bob Smithers-or, rather-listening
to Bob Smithers, giving him your excuse for not being there tonight, and
it was all for nothing?" he asked, stepping into the room and shutting the
door behind him. 

 

"Sorry," she said, smiling apologetically, "when I asked you to do that
last week, I really expected not to be here tonight," she explained. 

 

He stopped in front of her, pushing back his labcoat so that he could
thrust his hands into his pockets, and gazed down into her face. 

 

"You've been crying," he said, softly. 

 

She sighed and laughed shortly."Is it that obvious?" she asked, leaning
back and reaching up to brush the hair away from her face. 

 

"Well, you probably might like to fix your makeup before you go to the
board meeting," he said, gently."But it was mainly the fact that you were
sitting with your back towards the door that initially made me
suspicious," he admitted. 

 

She smiled ruefully and shrugged her shoulders again as he sat down in the
chair next to hers. 

 

"I only know of one person who makes you cry," he said.He picked up the
tissue box that was sitting in the table in front of him and held it out
to her. 

 

She took one of the tissues, and blew her nose."Yep," she admitted. 

 

"You want to tell me what he did-or said-this time?" he asked. 

 

She shook her head and pulled another tissue out of the box to wipe her
eyes. 

 

"All right, I won't pry," he said, putting the box back down on the table.


 

"You're not prying, Wilson," she said. 

 

They looked at each other and smiled. 

 

"Okay, maybe you are, but it's not that I mind.It's just that I'm not
ready to talk about it, not quite yet," she said, balling up the tissues
and throwing them into the nearby trash can. 

 

"Well, if it's any consolation to you, neither is House," he said, raising
his eyebrows. 

 

She looked at him quizzically. 

 

"He was sitting in my office when I came in today," began Wilson."My
supposedly locked office, of course." 

 

"Of course," she said, rolling her eyes. 

 

"So, I said:`What's up?'.And he just sat there, and went-" 

 

He opened his mouth and left it gape open for several seconds, closed it
without saying anything, turned his head slightly to the side, and
repeated the action. 

 

"He did that for about five times, actually, before he finally just got up
and left," Wilson said, raising his hands."I'm sorry that he made you
cry," he said, shaking his head, "but I have to tell you that I've never
seen anyone leave House speechless before," he teased. 

 

She managed a wan smile. 

 

"I think I managed to throw a monkey wrench into his `master plan'," she
admitted, propping her elbow on the chair and leaning her head tiredly
against her palm. 

 

"You finally figured out what he's been up to this month?" asked Wilson. 

 

"Not exactly, but I at least have a better idea than I did before I talked
to him this morning." 

 

"Okay," he said, rising to his feet, "just let me know if you ever get to
the point of wanting to talk to me about it.I'll be here." 

 

"You always are," she said, putting out her hand to him as she smiled. 

 

He helped her to her feet."Go freshen up.I'll wait and we can walk up to
the meeting together," he told her. 

 

"All right," she said, striding over to retrieve her purse from her desk. 

 

"But, I gotta tell you," he said, crossing his arms."If there are only two
seats left by the time we get up there and one of them is next to Bob-" 

 

Cuddy laughed."Don't worry, I'll sit next to him.I won't make you run
interference for me again tonight." 

 

It was over two hours later before they finally finished with the
meeting.The planned agenda had already been lengthy enough, but a
discussion regarding House's latest case had added at least an hour onto
the proceedings.A few of the board members had expressed their
dissatisfaction with Cameron's decision to initiate the heightened
biosafety precautions.But the rest of the board had firmly supported her,
arguing that it was far better to have assumed the worst rather than
hesitating and allowing a potentially deadly epidemic to hit the city. 

 

There was also much discussion devoted to House's investigation of the
case and the fact that he had ended up treating the family with a
combination of drugs that could have potentially worsened rather than
alleviated their illness.Board members were again divided between those
who thought he had once again proved his incalculable value to the
hospital, while others murmured that one of these days his luck was going
to run out, and he would end up doing something that would damage the
facility's reputation beyond repair. 

 

Cuddy was glad when the conversation finally turned to how the hospital
was dealing with the intense media scrutiny regarding the unusual case,
and she was happy to report that the hospital's Public Relations
department had the situation well in hand.The absolute minimum amount of
information regarding the case was being released with the maximum amount
of politeness, and any potential `leaks' to the media were being firmly
plugged as they were found. 

 

"That always surprises me," Bob Smithers noted."House is the most arrogant
jerk you could ever meet," he sputtered, as the board nodded its assent,
"but you won't find him pontificating in front of the cameras, seeking
publicity in cases like this," he admitted. 

 

"House doesn't want fame, he wants to solve puzzles," Wilson said."That's
what gives him a high." 

 

"That and the Vicodin," someone said, sotto voice.  

 

Laughter filled the boardroom for a moment. 

 

"Well, ladies and gentlemen," Cuddy said, folding her hands in front of
her."I guess I am once more vindicated in my choice to hire and retain Dr.
House as an employee.Despite his numerous deficiencies as regards his
character and personality-" 

 

She hesitated for a moment, and then shrugged."-the son-of-a-bitch still
manages to be one of the best doctors I've ever known." 

 

She shared Wilson's umbrella as they walked out to their cars.It had been
overcast and dreary for most of the day, but by nightfall there were
thunder storms rolling through the area.He gave her another quick smile as
she slid into the seat, waiting until she had backed out of her space
before waving goodbye and hurrying over to his own car. 

 

The rain continued to intensify, and she had to keep her wipers going at
full force as she drove through the water-filled streets. 

 

Stopping at a small strip mall near her house, she dashed into the video
store to return some overdue DVDs that she had been carrying around in her
purse for almost a week.As she came out of the store, she caught a
tantalizing whiff of the aroma emanating from the Chinese restaurant
located a few doorways down in the mall.She closed her eyes and breathed
in deeply.She had not been hungry all day, a small salad had sufficed for
lunch and she had merely picked at the chicken sandwich that she had
brought to the board meeting.But now, her growling stomach suddenly
demanded something more filling, something more comforting, she admitted
to herself as she made her way down the wet sidewalk to the restaurant
doorway. 

 

The elderly oriental lady at the counter smiled at her as she approached. 

 

"Table or take out?" she asked, in heavily accented English. 

 

"To go," said Cuddy, unfolding one of the paper menus and perusing it."An
order of fried wontons, and one-no make that two-spring rolls, please,"
she said. 

 

"That all?" the woman asked, writing down the order. 

 

"Yes, no-" she said, as her stomach grumbled again."Add an order of Kung
Pao Chicken and Moo Shu Vegetables too, please," 

 

About twenty minutes later, she was opening the door to her house, her
right leg propping it open as she held her cell phone to her ear with one
hand while carrying her purse and the bag full of Chinese food in the
other.She continued to talk as she turned around and slid the deadbolt
into place. 

 

The phone had rung just as she was getting out of her car, and she was now
in the midst of helping to arrange for a last-minute transplant.The
intended recipient in Philadelphia had died while the donor heart was on
route.Princeton-Plainsboro was the nearest hospital with a
suitably-matched recipient, but even they were going to be hard-pressed to
rush the patient in and arrange for the transplant before the organ was
too old to be used.She had told her transplant team to go ahead and call
the patient in.Meanwhile, she would be making the necessary arrangements
to have the heart delivered by helicopter to the hospital, and would also
make sure that there was an operating suite available.She ended the call,
dumped her purse and the bag on her kitchen counter, and swiftly dialed
another number. 

 

She managed to fill a teapot with hot tap-water and put a kettle filled
with cold water on to boil as she juggled the phone through half a dozen
more phone calls.She had just finalized the arrangements, and was
beginning to pour the boiling water into the pot, when her phone rang
again. 

 

This time, it was the ER calling to inform her of another critical case.A
man with a burst abdominal aneurysm had been admitted, and she was going
to have to make sure that another surgical team, operating room, and
immense amounts of blood products were available as well.By the time she
had finished arranging staffing and resources for this latest catastrophe,
her tea was cold and over-steeped.Throwing the dark liquid down the drain,
she began all over again. 

 

This time, as the kettle was heating, she walked to her bedroom and
wearily peeled off her clothes, returning to the kitchen dressed in one of
her warm and worn flannel robes and a pair of flip-flop slippers.She
fielded one more phone call, this one from a local newspaper regarding the
poisoning case, and then began to unwrap the by now thoroughly cold
Chinese food.Removing the little metal carrying hooks from the containers,
she put them into the microwave and poured out a cup of hot, perfectly
brewed tea and added two generous spoonfuls of sugar while the food was
heating.Digging a pair of chopsticks out of the drawer, she took the
cartons out of the microwave and piled them onto a tray, along with the
packets of condiments and her cup of tea and a plate.Lifting it up, she
walked down the hallway to her living room.Using her elbow to flip on the
light, she put the tray down on top of her coffee table.Flipping off her
slippers, she settled down on the couch. 

 

She had just reached down to pick up her cup, however, when her cell
phone, which she had thrown into the pocket of her robe, began to ring
again.She wearily dug it out of her pocket, flipped it open and then
groaned out loud as she read the name displayed on the screen. 

 

`House, G.' it announced. 

 

She stared down at it as it continued to ring.She supposed there might be
a chance that he was calling her regarding either his last case or a new
one, but her gut instinct told her it had nothing to do with work.Placing
the phone down next to the tray, she picked up the cup and took a sip as
she silently counted the rings.They finally ceased, and she vowed to eat
at least one wonton before she checked her voice mail to see if he had
left a message.Just as she reached out to pick up the morsel, however, the
phone once more began to ring.A quick glance at the screen confirmed that
the call was coming from House again. 

 

She sat back with the wonton in one hand and the cup of tea in the other,
alternatively crunching and sipping as she waited for the ringing to
stop.As before, it stopped only to resume again after a brief pause of a
few seconds.This went on for several minutes, and she had eaten two
wontons by the time it began to ring for a sixth time.Pausing to lick the
crumbs off of her fingers, she sighed and reached down to pick up the
phone. 

 

"This had better be about work," she snarled. 

 

"I'm in the neighborhood," he informed her, sounding absolutely unruffled
by the anger in her voice."Can I stop in?" 

 

"No, you can't," she informed him, shortly. 

 

"Why not?" 

 

Because I don't want to see you, you bastard. 

 

But she managed to control herself.Raising a hand to her forehead, she
instead replied, "Because I'm already in bed, House.Whatever you want to
talk about will just have to wait until tomorrow." 

 

"Really?" she heard him say, as she held the phone out in preparation of
hitting the button to break the connection."I could swear that you're
sitting on your couch eating Chinese food." 

 

She stared down at the phone for a moment, and then her eyes flicked over
to the window.The drapes were parted, and even against the darkness, she
could see the rain pouring against the glass.Slowly unfolding her legs
from underneath her, she got to her feet and crept across the room, the
cell phone still held in her hand.Even though she was expecting it, she
still jumped back in surprise as his head suddenly popped into view as he
leaned over to peer back at her through the window.He was holding his cell
phone to his ear. 

 

"It's kind of wet out here," he informed her, his voice coming through the
phone as she read his lips through the glass.  

 

She took another step forward and then smiled at him. 

 

"Good!" she said, reaching over to click off the phone as she
simultaneously snapped the curtains shut. 

 

Outside, House pursed his lips and stood still for a moment, before slowly
lowering the phone and switching it off.He was still trying to jam the
phone into his pocket when he heard the sound of the deadbolt sliding
open.A beam of light shot out as the door opened, illuminating his figure.


 

He turned and peered at her with his eyebrows raised. 

 

"Amazing how a brilliant guy like you doesn't have the sense to come in
out of the rain," she said, reluctantly pushing the door all the way open.


 

"You moved the key you used to keep under that planter," he grumbled,
making his way towards her. 

 

"Yeah, and I see you checked them all out," she noted, looking down and
seeing that all the potted plants near the doorway had been shuffled to
different places."You didn't want to pick the lock?" she asked. 

 

"Didn't want to show off," he said, stepping across the threshold. 

 

"Oh, my god, you are soaking wet," she said, as he stepped into the bright
light of the foyer. 

 

She leaned over and peered out into her driveway. 

 

"You drove your motorcycle on a night like this?" she shrieked. 

 

Looking like a naughty boy who has just been caught with his hand in the
cookie jar, he nodded his head.  

 

"I didn't hear you drive up," she said, looking puzzled."Even with the
microwave going-" 

 

"I walked it the last block," he admitted, as he nudged the door closed
behind him, "to make sure you wouldn't hear me." 

 

She sighed and looked down at his feet.Although his entire body was wet,
his jeans were absolutely drenched below the knee, with water dripping off
of his shoes. 

 

"Stay there!" she ordered."And do not step on my carpeting," she said,
pointing at him to remain on the small rectangle of tile by the door.I'm
going to go get some towels." 

 

She headed towards her bedroom."Take off your socks and shoes!" she
called, disappearing into her room. 

 

"The jeans are pretty wet too," he informed her, hopefully. 

 

Her head briefly reappeared in the doorway."Don't press your luck!" she
snapped. 

 

He waited until she was gone from view before allowing himself a small,
sly smile."Didn't think I'd get this far," he murmured to himself. 

 

He turned and looked at the door, momentarily lifting his hand to the
deadbolt but letting it fall without locking it again, apparently deciding
that it would also be pressing his luck to attempt to lock the door just
yet. 

 

He was finishing removing his right sock when she strode down the hallway,
carrying two towels in her arms. 

 

"It's a little hard to balance on the bad leg," he mumbled,
apologetically, as he tossed the footwear to the floor. 

 

She nodded, understanding that, even with the cane, he didn't have enough
strength to stand on his right leg while attempting to remove the shoe and
sock from his left foot.  

 

"Fine," she murmured, throwing the towels on the floor.She bent down to
untie his shoe and allowed him to lean gently down on her shoulder as she
peeled off the shoe and sock. 

 

But the tenderness in that gesture was immediately negated as she rose,
picked up the towels, and threw them forcefully against his chest, almost
causing him to lose his grip on his cane as he hurriedly caught them. 

 

"Dry off before you come in," she warned, walking down the hallway and
turning into the living room. 

 

By the time he came limping into the room, she was again curled up in a
corner of the couch, this time munching on the end of a spring roll as she
watched him approach.He tossed one of the towels into a chair across from
the couch, to protect the fabric from his wet jeans, sat down, and then
folded the other on top of his lap. 

 

He leaned over, reaching down to retrieve the last remaining wonton from
the carton.Scowling, Cuddy also bent down and slapped his fingers,
grabbing the carton as he hastily pulled his hand away. 

 

"I didn't say you could eat," she hissed, as she placed the carton on the
end table next to the couch. 

 

"Well, I know you're eating for two now," he said, making a face, "but I
think there's enough there for three."He pointed at the remaining cartons.


 

"It depends who the third person is," she said, picking up the wonton and
tossing it into her mouth. 

 

She swallowed it down and then paused and went to pick up a packet of
mustard.Tearing it open and squeezing the contents out onto the plate, she
sat back and dipped the spring roll into the mustard before taking another
bite. 

 

"If you're just going to sit there and watch me eat, you could have stayed
outside," she said, reaching over to pick up her tea. 

 

He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. 

 

"I can't seem to find a pregnancy test or HCG result for you," he said
finally, folding his hands in front of him."At the hospital or at the
Trenton Fertility Clinic." 

 

She laughed, almost choking on her tea for a moment."House," she said,
putting down her cup and smiling over at him, "with the way you snoop
around, do you really think I am stupid enough to havethe test done under
my own name, or to have it performed at any place where you could find
it?" 

 

She leaned back against the couch."I have a friend who works in a clinic a
couple blocks away from the hospital," she informed him."I had the tests
done there, under a false name." 

 

Getting to her feet, she paused for a moment and then frowned.Picking up
the tray from the coffee table, she placed it on the opposite side of the
couch, out of his reach, before leaving the room. 

 

She was gone for less than a minute, returning with her handbag held over
her arm.Sitting back down on the couch, she snapped the purse open and
retrieved a handful of folded papers.She handed the pages over to him and
then looked down at the tray.Glaring back at House, she saw that there was
an empty wax paper bag sitting on the towel beside him. 

 

"You ate the other spring roll!" she exclaimed, looking thoroughly
disgusted. 

 

"I'm hungry!" he said, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back to unfold
the papers. 

 

"I don't care!" she retorted.Shaking her head, she leaned over to pick up
her chopsticks.Opening up two of the other cartons, she proceeded to put a
generous helping of rice and the chicken entree onto the plate and then
sat back and took a few bites as he read over the reports. 

 

She had been watching him out of the corner of her eye, and had seen his
smile as he read the name of `Tripper, Candace S.' at the top of the
report. 

 

"Looks good," he said, setting the papers on the table beside him. 

 

"The results or the food?" she asked, peering at him over the plate. 

 

"Both," he said, sitting back and eyeing the open cartons hungrily. 

 

"Here," she said, reaching down and tossing something over to him."Have a
fortune cookie." 

 

He caught it with one hand and immediately moved to tear open the wrapper.


 

"Just don't believe it if your fortune says you're going to get lucky
tonight," she informed him. 

 

He broke the cookie open and popped a portion into his mouth as he turned
over the small piece of paper."It says:`Flattery will always smooth the
way for your journey'." He put the rest of the cookie into his mouth and
then looked at her with a hopeful smile on his face as he batted his eyes.


 

She smiled sweetly back at him, but shook her head firmly. 

 

He took his time crunching the cookie and swallowing it down before
speaking again. 

 

"Can I explain it to you now?" he said, finally, tossing the fortune onto
the table beside the reports. 

 

"I don't know," she said, frowning down at a piece of chicken she was
holding in the chopsticks before bringing it up to her mouth."Can you?"
she asked, over the mouthful of food. 

 

"I've been researching TGA," he said, leaning forward on his elbows again.


 

"Hmm," she said, reaching over and putting a pancake down on her plate,
"this should be good," she murmured, as she spread the Moo Shu vegetables
over it. 

 

"The food or the explanation?" he asked. 

 

"I'm betting both," she replied, as she folded the pancake over. 

 

"The vast majority of people who have suffered a TGA episode never have a
second attack," he said. 

 

"Agreed," she said, nodding her head and taking a bite. 

 

"However, in a very small minority of patients, it begins to happen
repeatedly, and they can end up with very severe, permanent brain damage."


 

"Okay," she said, swallowing. 

 

"You have a very high stress job." 

 

"With you so far," she said, taking another bite. 

 

"You are very healthy, but a post-40 pregnancy can be extremely
stressful-on both your body and your mind." 

 

"Oh, come off it, House, that's ridiculous!" she exclaimed, putting her
plate down."Do you seriously expect me to think that you selflessly had
yourself `snipped' to save me from the agony of another TGA attack because
I just might be susceptible to one if I got pregnant?" she asked. 

 

"Well-" 

 

"Hey, you know what?If you wanted to do something to reduce my stress
level, quit!" she urged."Not having you as an employee would make my
job-and my life-a lot less difficult."	

 

He frowned and looked down at the floor. 

 

"Now, what were the trigger factors for TGA?" she asked, thoughtfully
pressing a finger to her lips."Let's see:cold water, exercise, oh, what
was the third one again?Oh, that's right," she said, suddenly brightening
and getting to her feet."Humping!" she said, thrusting her hips into the
air. 

 

"Uh, you might want to be a little careful," he urged, wrinkling his
forehead and putting out his hand."Don't want to jar anything loose in
there," he said, leaning back in his chair as she stopped and smiled at
him. 

 

"But, since you had the vasectomy, you were still planning on humping me,
right House?" she asked, sounding puzzled."Oh, I guess for some reason you
figured I could handle the sex, but not getting knocked up?" 

 

She shrugged and sat back down, picking up the plate again."I think there
are more than a few holes in that argument." 

 

"It doesn't really matter does it?" he asked, frowning as he massaged his
neck."Now that you're already pregnant, we are just going to have to deal
with it," he said, reaching out to pick up the lab reports again. 

 

"We are going to have to deal with it, House?" she asked, taking another
bite. 

 

"Well, I can't trust you to be reasonable about this, can I?" he snarled,
frowning down at the pages."Remember how you were last year when you were
treating Ella?" 

 

"I don't remember treating an Ella last year," she said, furrowing her
brow. 

 

"The forty-something pregnant photographer?" 

 

"Her name was Emma," she corrected. 

 

"And you knew who I meant," he snapped, reaching over and picking up the
carton of Kung Pao chicken.Using his fingers, he reached in and pulled out
a piece of chicken."You did everything wrong, getting emotionally involved
and making bad decisions, all because you wanted her to keep the fetus,"
he said, before tossing the meat into his mouth. 

 

"Yes, I wanted her to have the baby," she said."Which she did." 

 

"Against the odds," he argued."If you couldn't make a rational decision in
that case, you sure as hell aren't going to be able to handle any
complications with your own pregnancy."He frowned and began to dig around
in the carton with his fingers. 

 

"Oh, for god's sake!" she barked, getting to her feet."You want a fork or
a pair of chopsticks?" she asked, in a resigned tone. 

 

"Chopsticks," he said, licking his fingers."I'll just eat it out of the
carton, you don't have to bring a plate," he told her, graciously, as she
walked out of the room. 

 

He waited until he heard her pull out a drawer in the kitchen. 

 

"A beer would be nice, though," he called out. 

 

He smiled as he heard the drawer slamming shut.But, to his surprise, she
was carrying an open bottle of beer in one hand when she returned to the
room with the chopsticks. 

 

He jumped back slightly as she thrust the chopsticks towards his face.He
took them from her and then watched as she leaned over to pull out a
drawer and get out a coaster. 

 

Putting the coaster on the table, she sat the beer bottle down on top of
it and returned to the couch. 

 

He had the lab reports spread out over his lap, and he frowned as he began
to use the chopsticks to feed himself as he read through them again. 

 

"The levels look really good," he said, stabbing the chopsticks down into
the carton so that he could reach out and take a swig from the beer
bottle."Doubling nicely." 

 

"Yep," she said, finishing up her pancake and wiping her hands and mouth
with a paper napkin before tossing it into one of the empty cartons. 

 

"But, this early in the pregnancy, even an ectopic pregnancy might be
giving you numbers like this," he said, setting the bottle back
down."Besides the added risk of a multiple births with Clomid.Have you had
an ultrasound yet?" 

 

She laughed and moved to wrap her robe more tightly around herself."I
didn't even dare to do the pregnancy test until last week," she reminded
him. 

 

"Well," he said, carefully putting the papers back into a stack with one
hand as he continued to hold the carton in the other, "Wang is scheduled
to cover clinic tomorrow.Since he filled in for me today, I could offer to
take his shift tomorrow." 

 

She looked at him and raised her eyebrows. 

 

"You could stop in to the clinic for a couple minutes and I could do one
for you," he said, shrugging his shoulders as he set the papers on the
table."I assume you could be discreet about it," he said, cocking his head
to the side. 

 

She stared down at her hands for several seconds. 

 

"I'll think about it," she finally said, lifting her head to look back at
him. 

 

He shrugged and picked up the beer bottle, taking several swallows this
time. 

 

"I also assume you are going to opt for chorionic villus sampling rather
than amniocentesis?" he said, tilting the bottle back and forth in his
hand as he studied it. 

 

"Who says I'm going to have either?" she challenged. 

 

He rolled his eyes and placed the bottle back on the table."C'mon, Cuddy,
even if you would absolutely refuse to terminate, you'd want to get a
heads-up on any problems, wouldn't you?" 

 

She leaned her head back against the couch, continuing to watch him
without saying a word as he set the carton down on the coffee table. 

 

"You're Rh-positive, and you've been taking folic acid, so there's no
reason to wait longer to have an amniocentesis done instead."He reached
into the inner pocket of his jacket to pull out a calendar."We should be
scheduling a CVS for five to seven weeks from now," he said, frowning as
he consulted the calendar. "I also looked up miscarriage rates for the
procedure in the tri-state area.There are a couple of women and a guy
whose rates are a lot lower than average," he said, unfolding a piece of
paper from the back of the calendar.She could see that he had names,
addresses and phone numbers written down on the page. 

 

"Grrr," she murmured, suddenly, clenching her hands into angry fists as
she slowly rose from the couch. 

 

"You okay?" he said, looking at her uncertainly as the piece of paper
dangled from his fingertips. 

 

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm," she moaned, wordlessly, as she began to pace around the
room with her hands on her hips.He watched as she shook her head and
walked back and forth across the room, uncertain if she had answered him
with a yes or a no. 

 

"Damn you, House," she finally said, stopping in front of him."Did you
have to do that?" she asked, pointing down at the paper. 

 

"I'm...only trying to help," he said, looking up at her with concern. 

 

She sighed loudly."You deserve to be suffering for a much longer time than
this," she said, shaking her head again. 

 

"I have eight more months of this to look forward to, don't I?" he asked,
doubtfully. 

 

"Oh, I wish," she muttered, using both hands to brush her hair back from
her face. 

 

With a small cry of disgust, she knelt down in front of his chair.She took
the paper from his hand and studied it for a moment, and then tore it in
half and tossed it on the floor. 

 

"I'm not pregnant, House," she said, looking up at him. 

 

She watched as a look of doubt, relief, and wariness crossed his face in
rapid succession. 

 

"Did you think you were the only one capable of making up false lab
reports?" she asked, leaning over to prop her arms on either side of his
legs. 

 

"What do you mean," he asked, narrowing his eyes. 

 

"Hey, I know," she said, reaching out to pick up the towel that was still
across his lap, and tossing it on the floor."Why don't you go ahead and
show me your surgical scars?' she asked, pointing at his crotch as she
smiled up at him. 

 

"They're gone now," he said, looking suddenly uneasy."Nothing to see," he
protested, leaning back slightly. 

 

"Yeah, I guess they do disappear pretty quickly, don't they?" she said,
wrinkling her brow."Especially those invisible ones from those imaginary
procedures." 

 

He regarded her silently for several moments."You sound very sure of
yourself," he said, finally, a hint of grudging admiration in his voice as
he leaned back towards her. 

 

"You didn't have a vasectomy," she stated, calmly. 

 

"How do you know?" he challenged. 

 

"Because Wilson and I were stupid enough to be concerned about you when
you called off for those three days," she told him, crossing her
arms."Luckily, Amber was able to hang around your place and watch what you
were doing." 

 

"Just because she didn't see me go to the doctor's office-" 

 

"Oh, that's right, she didn't follow you whenever you left your
apartment," she said, nodding her head."But she did tell us that you
seemed to be doing an awful lot of driving around that week," she added,
as her smile widened. 

 

"So?' said House, still sounding unconvinced. 

 

"Of course, I was a little suspicious to begin with.The way you have
pissed off every other doctor in this state, I really doubted that you
would let anyone get within a mile of your genitals with a scalpel in his
or her hand," said Cuddy, shaking her head."But, if you had a vasectomy,
you would have been lying at home with your sack packed in ice and a dozen
pillows underneath it," she laughed."Not bouncing around on your freaking
motorcycle." 

 

"Damn!" said House, wrinkling his nose and shaking his head.He sat back in
his chair and screwed up his eyes in concentration."You evil, cunning
woman, you knew," he said slowly, opening his eyes and looking down at
her, "from the moment I said I had it done on those days-" 

 

"That you were ly-ing!" she exclaimed, opening her eyes wide as she
emphasized the word. 

 

"You thought up a pretty quick lie in return!" he retorted. 

 

"Oh, I was so pissed at you," she said, reaching out to slap him hard on
the knee. 

 

"Ouch!" 

 

She rose to her feet. 

 

"I mean, it was hurtful enough to think that you would have had it
done.But it was even worse to know that you hadn't, and that you were just
saying you had to screw with my mind." 

 

"Why would I do that?" 

 

"Oh, god, House!I have known you for how many years now?" she asked,
looking up at the ceiling."I can't even begin to imagine all the fine
details in this grand, Machiavellian scheme you were plotting.But at least
I knew enough from the way you were behaving to be extra suspicious." 

 

She bent down to clear a space on the coffee table so that she could sit
down directly in front of him. 

 

"I also talked to Stacy," she said. 

 

"And?" 

 

"And she confirmed my suspicions that there was no way you were holding me
at arm's length for the entire month without planning to reel me in
later," she said."She, Wilson, and I all knew you were up to something, we
just couldn't quite figure out what," she admitted. 

 

She paused and propped her elbows on her knees, cupping her chin in her
hands."We were really enjoying ourselves before my attack, weren't we?"
she asked, with a wide grin on her face. 

 

"Absolutely," he assured her, looking perplexed at her sudden change in
mood. 

 

"I mean the sex was actually really good-" 

 

"Why do you always sound so surprised when you say that?" he asked,
sounding clearly annoyed. 

 

"Because I know it bugs you," she replied, happily."But the companionship
outside of bed was awfully nice too, wasn't it?" she asked, quietly. 

 

He smiled slightly, but did not reply. 

 

"Of course, the fact that we were sneaking around, `doing it on the sly'
made it a little more fun for both of us, didn't it?" 

 

"Oh, definitely," he replied, his smile broadening into a naughty grin. 

 

"Then I had my attack," she said, dropping her gaze from his face as she
lowered her hands to her knees."And, all of a sudden, you were loudly
proclaiming to everyone, that the only reason I was sleeping with you was
because I wanted to get pregnant.Why was that, House?" she asked, looking
back up at him."Were you afraid that it was true?Or did you just feel you
had to say it before someone else did? 

 

"Are you saying getting pregnant isn't important to you?" he challenged. 

 

"Not at all," she said, shaking her head."But, you have purposefully
distanced yourself from me ever since then.You came to my hospital room,
but you didn't kiss me, you didn't even touch me.Then you did the same
thing to me in the clinic that day." 

 

"You think I did that on purpose?" he asked. 

 

"You're damn right, I do," she said."Especially because you didn't come
near me for the rest of the week.I mean, you always find some reason to
stop in my office, whether it's to discuss a case or to complain about
your parking space, or to bitch about the price of coffee in the
cafeteria.At the very least, I expected you to be the one coming in to
crow to me that Foreman had nearly let a patient expire in the
hallway.But, no.I finally had to come to you, under the pretense of having
to break up the fight between you and Foreman." 

 

"You didn't care that we were fighting?" 

 

"Well, it had definitely gotten out of hand, but I could have called
Foreman into my office instead of going over to yours," she said. 

 

"But then you wouldn't have seen me," he said, reaching over to twirl his
cane. 

 

"Exactly."She paused for a moment."You must have been thrilled that I was
going to be out of town for a week, that worked right into your plan to
make sure I'd be lonesome for your company, didn't it?" 

 

"You really think I had this `grand plan'?" he said, tossing the cane
aside. 

 

"Definitely.Why else would you have been in my office my first day back at
work, so eager to find out whether or not I had my period while I was in
Atlanta?You were so damn happy to find out I had that you were practically
skipping on your way out of my office." 

 

"I don't exactly skip these days," he said, furrowing his brow. 

 

"Believe me, given your handicap, you were doing an amazing
approximation.So I knew that, whatever you were planning, it depended on
my not being pregnant yet.Which is why, by the way, it was the first lie
to come to my mind after I figured out you were lying to me this morning."


 

She sighed and closed her eyes."Then, through this week of hell, you still
didn't come into my office or even call me once," she said, opening her
eyes and shaking her head."Everyone else on your team was coming to
me.Even Cameron was consulting with me.But you were bound and determined
to stay in your own little cave, making me come to you.And when I did come
to you this morning, you made sure I was more than ready to jump back into
bed with you before you decided to inform me that, `Oops, might be a
slight problem if the only reason you want to have sex with me is because
you want to get pregnant'." 

 

"Didn't I know that would make you furious?" 

 

"Oh, of course you did.You also know that the times I am hottest for you
is right after you've infuriated me," she said, leaning forward. 

 

He bent his head again, but she had seen a definite gleam in his eyes
before he had dropped his gaze to the floor. 

 

"And, as childish as you can be, you can be amazingly patient at times." 

 

"Really?" he said, furrowing his brow as he raised his eyes back to her
face. 

 

"You went after Stacy after diagnosing Mark.First," she said, starting to
tick the examples off on her fingers, "you went through his group therapy
file to find out what problems they were having, then you started hanging
around her house, doing the chores that she complained Mark was
neglecting, then you stepped in to catch a rat for her since the
exterminator had conveniently been told not to come.Shall I go on?" she
asked, pausing to catch her breath. 

 

 

"No," he said, shaking his head and leaning back in the chair. 

 

"Unluckily for you, she figured it out right away.Otherwise, you were
prepared to hang around for months waiting for the moment when she would
be vulnerable enough to turn to you." 

 

"Something like that," he admitted, pulling at his ear. 

 

"As for me..."She shrugged her shoulders."I mean, we finally got back
together years after a disastrous `one night stand'.Now that the sex was
actually terrific, I guess you figured all you would have to do is wait
until some night when I was lonely enough, or reckless enough, or
inebriated enough to turn to you for sex again.I guess you didn't really
care why I would come back to you, just as long as it was not for
`strictly procreative' reasons.Is there another possibility I'm missing?" 

 

"You could have gone back to the sperm bank and gotten pregnant that way,"
he said. 

 

"How would that help you?" she asked, looking completely perplexed. 

 

"Some studies have shown that women, particularly women over forty who are
pregnant for the first time, can get tremendously horny during their
second trimester," he informed her. 

 

She stared at him. 

 

"And I would be hanging around, offering medical advice, a hand to hold, a
shoulder to cry on-" 

 

"A bed to jump into?" she asked. 

 

He shrugged and smiled."You do remember how nicely my quo fits into your
quid?" 

 

"You're incorrigible," she said, breaking into a smile. 

 

"I know," he said, nodding his head again. 

 

"And you're a jerk," she said, leaning towards him. 

 

"I know," he repeated. 

 

"And I've missed you," she said, bending down closer to him. 

 

"I-" 

 

But before he could get to the next word, her lips were on top of his.It
took only a moment before he responded, spreading his legs apart so that
he could pull her closer to him as they continued to kiss and embrace.She
opened her lips and he flicked his tongue very gently into her mouth,
savoring her sweet, tangy taste.They kissed for over a minute before he
finally pulled back slightly, loosening his grip but not completely
relinquishing his hold.They looked at each other wordlessly, and then he
bent down to kiss her, very softly, on the nose. 

 

"Hmm," he said. 

 

She followed his gaze downward and smiled as he stared down the front of
her robe. 

 

"Looks like the twins have missed me, too," he said, smiling triumphantly.


 

"Yeah," she admitted, smiling up at him. 

 

"So, what do we do now?" he asked. 

 

She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath."I have a compromise for
you," she began, opening her eyes."I know it's not your style," she added,
as he grimaced at the word, "but hear me out." 

 

"I haven't been taking the Clomid this month," she said. 

 

He looked at her quizzically. 

 

"I've already been on it nearly five months without results, and we both
know there wasn't much point continuing on with it after another month or
two anyway," she said, shrugging her shoulders."Besides, I'm tired of how
it makes me feel, and I'm really tired of having sex based on my ovulation
schedule," she said, shaking her head. 

 

"So, how about we start having sex and being together whenever we both
feel like it instead?" she asked, propping her chin on his left
knee."Although I would also ask that we not use contraception." 

 

"Just let things happen?" he asked. 

 

"Again, not your style, but yeah," she said, reaching up to rub her hand
across his cheek. 

 

"You still want a baby?" he said, looking her in the eyes. 

 

"It would be nice," she admitted, smiling."But, it's not the major
priority in my life like it was two years ago.I've had to deal with a lot
of disappointments since then and each month I've had to get a little
closer to accepting the fact that it's probably not going to happen." 

 

"But, if it does-" he began. 

 

"Then we'll deal with it then," she said."Or, I'll deal with it, if you
prefer." 

 

"Cuddy."He paused and she waited patiently, knowing he was finding it very
difficult to gather the courage to say what he needed to tell her."I am an
amazingly fertile man," he finally whispered, smiling down at her. 

 

"So, I've heard," she replied, laughing softly. 

 

"But, I don't know if I can be a `dad', even to your child," he admitted,
slowly. 

 

There was no denying either the pain or the honesty in his eyes as he said
it. 

 

"I know," she said.She smiled ruefully."Do you have any idea how relieved
you looked when you figured out I was telling the truth about not being
pregnant?" 

 

He nodded his head, blowing a small whistle through his lips as he did so.


 

"But, you were still here, offering to help me," she said, nodding at the
torn pieces of paper on the floor. 

 

"Which doesn't mean that I'm-" 

 

"I'm not asking you to marry me, House," she said, reaching out to take
his hands as she interrupted him. "I'm certainly not asking for forever,
or even putting a timeline on this at all.But, for right now, I want more
than what we've had the past few months, and I'm hoping you do, too.Can we
both finally be honest enough to admit that?" she asked. 

 

He looked at their hands for a moment and then raised his face to hers and
nodded. 

 

"You don't have to look so scared," she teased."Look at it this way:we've
been classmates, a `one-night-stand', a doctor and her patient, and a boss
and her infuriatingly irresponsible employee," she said, smiling."And
through all that we have also, amazingly, remained friends as well."She
shrugged."I think that our friendship might even be able to withstand
this, too." 

 

"So," he said, tapping his foot impatiently."Wanna go spawn?" he asked,
raising his eyebrows. 

 

She laughed, but shook her head."No," she said, considering the question
carefully."House and Cuddy were spawning.I think it's time that Greg and
Lisa went into her bedroom and made love," she suggested. 

 

He looked down at her and frowned."I haven't called you `Lisa' since the
day after we met," he protested. 

 

"Maybe it's time we got reacquainted," she said, getting to her feet."Need
some help getting up?" she asked. 

 

He smiled up at her roguishly."To which part of my body are you
referring?" 

 

"Your leg," she said, smiling down at him."Obviously the Cialis has
already kicked in and is doing wonders for the other part of you," she
observed dryly, looking down at the front of his jeans."You did take it,
right?" 

 

He nodded. 

 

"Wasn't that taking a chance?" 

 

He shrugged."You tend to be pretty horny right after I've made you
angry.And I figured you were really pissed off at me today." 

 

"By the way," he asked, leaning on his cane as he rose to his feet, "just
how long did you intend to keep pretending you were pregnant?I mean, was
this going to involve body padding eventually?" 

 

She shrugged."I don't know, I hadn't thought that far ahead, actually.But
I was pretty sure it would be fun to watch you go crazy for a while," she
admitted, with a smile."But, with your determination, I knew it was going
to be tricky.I figured the next thing I knew you'd be slipping me a
sedative in my coffee so you could strap me down and perform the
ultrasound yourself." 

 

"Oh, how'd you guess?That's my second-favorite bondage fantasy for us." 

 

He grinned and moved to embrace her again.They kissed for a moment and
then she pushed him away, playfully. 

 

"Go lock the door," she ordered, pulling away."I'm going to slip into
something a little more enticing." 

 

"Need this?" he asked, reaching into his pocket and handing her something.


 

She couldn't help but start laughing as she took the rubber band and
stretched it out."Okay, maybe my `twins' aren't identical, but they aren't
as mismatched as this!" she protested, seeing that there was now only one
Vicodin attached to the band. 

 

"Medical emergency," he assured her. 

 

"Uh-huh," she said.She waited until he had started for the door to shoot
the rubber band onto his retreating form. 

 

"It's not nice to take advantage of cripples!" he yelled, not turning
around. 

 

"Take your time," she said, as she headed towards the bedroom."Turn out
all the lights while you're at it."
 
  

"Yes, mistress," he croaked, exaggerating his limp as he walked towards
the hallway. 

 

He actually did take his time locking the door and then returning to the
living room to shut off the lights.He then headed to the kitchen and
turned off all the lights in that room.As he got back to the hallway, he
heard the door to her bedroom open. 

 

"Oh," he said, stopping shortly and drawing in his breath. 

 

The flannel robe was gone and in its place was a sheer and lacy white
negligee that clung to every beautiful curve of her body.The light shining
from behind her cast a white glow around her outline, but when he squinted
he could just make out the dark circles of her nipples underneath the thin
fabric. 

 

"Hi," she said, smiling as he began walking towards her."I'm Lisa," she
said, holding out her hand."You must be Greg." 

 

He grinned and put out his hand to shake hers. 

 

"I was hoping we'd meet again," she said, looking up at him. 

 

His smile widened as he let her pull him into the bedroom.