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  Honeymoon Negotiations 
 by lilyleia78	

 Honeymoon Negotiations

"We don't have to go anywhere. Just give me a bed and lots of lube and I'm
a happy husband."

"Please stop. I can't handle this level of romance at work," Wilson
replied deadpan.

"Fine, give me a bed, lots of lube and some candles. Anything to make my
man happy," House said in a tone that suggested this was a great
sacrifice. 

"Wow, I have never felt more loved than I do right now," Wilson said as he
returned his attention back to the brochures he'd picked up from his
travel agent. "Maybe this bed could have an ocean view?"

"Why? I don't intend to have the curtains open," House eyed Wilson
speculatively. "Unless you're into that sort of thing..."

Wilson just smiled enigmatically at his fianc. "Seriously, we have to
decide today so I can make the reservations."

"Seriously I don't see why we can't honeymoon in my - our - bed, our
couch, our bathtub, our kitchen table, our..."

"I see where you're going with this, and I appreciate your confidence in
our stamina and the sturdiness of our furniture. However, we really have
to leave town."

"Why?" House whined.

"Because if we stay here your drones will track you down," Wilson
answered. "They'll have some fascinating, unsolvable case. Foreman will
forbid them to ask for your help and, because you've trained them so well,
they'll find you just to spite him."

"Then you'll just have to provide me with something more interesting to do
than treat this hypothetical patient," House leered.

"24 hours a day for a week solid? I'll chafe."

"Fine," House sighed. "Wuss. No beaches though; they're not handicap
accessible. And I want someplace with Soapnet."

"So your only requirements are no beaches and Soapnet," Wilson clarified.

"No my only requirements are you naked and lube, but if we must be away
from the comforts of home then I need to have access to my soaps. It'll
keep me entertained while you recuperate between the fun bits."

"Great!" Wilson said cheerfully. "Disney World it is."

"Fine," House nodded. "Wait, what? You want to spend our honeymoon with a
giant talking mouse?"

"It's the happiest place on earth," Wilson said as if that explained
everything. House mumbled something unintelligible. "What was that?"
Wilson asked, bracing himself for a scathing retort.

House rolled his eyes and repeated in an irritated tone. "Good, then I'll
fit right in."

Wilson stared at him in stunned silence for a few minutes before leaning
over and planting a hungry kiss on House's mouth.

"Take me home, House. I want to fuck you right through the mattress."

House swallowed against the dryness in his throat and vowed to give this
romance thing a try more often. Much more often...

  
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Legal Disclaimer: The authors published here make no claims on the
ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of
Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House
(and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property
of NBC/Universal, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I
am only peripherally aware. The fan fiction authors published here receive
no monetary benefit from their work and intend no copyright infringement
nor slight to the actual owners. We love the characters and we love the
show, otherwise we wouldn't be here.