I look at the envelope sat on my desk. I hesitate to open the envelope and take out the printed paper inside. How has it come to this? Where did it all go wrong? Fifteen years of marriage down the toilet. I feel immeasurably sad that I couldn't save my marriage. When Joan and I first met and got to know each other, were were so in love, we couldn't stand to be part, now we can't stand to be near each other. I still don't know how that happened. I still wonder if we could have, should have, done more to save the marriage. Surely two people who have known each other over fifteen years can work out their problems? Surely nothing is insurmountable? With a sigh I realise that maybe it is. I don't know any more. A part of me still loves Joan, despite the arguments and the animosity, a part of me always will.

I sigh deeply. I know I have to let go. I take out the papers to sign. But I can't do it.

I don't want to sign the papers. It would be truly final then. I don't want it to end like this, so coldly and unemotionally. I can't face that just yet.

It doesn't seem right that my signature, a scrawl of ink on a piece of paper signifies that fifteen years is over. Just like that. This dispassionate cold end to a marriage that was once full of laughter and joy, warmth and love. We loved each other enough to bring a new life into this world. A life we both cherish and adore.

My thoughts are stopped in their tracks by a knock on my office door.

It's Jim.

A good excuse to put aside the divorce papers. But I also have to question how readily I wanted to put them aside. Do I want to give my marriage another go? How many times have I asked myself that? After all the arguments and the harsh words have been spoken, I have to face the facts. It's over. As hard as that is to admit to myself. I'm a hardnosed Police Captain for God's sake. I have to stop letting this divorce tear me apart inside. It's over. It's over. It's over. If I keep telling myself that enough I will eventually believe it.

"We're ready to roll, Captain," Jim says.

"Good. Plane's waiting for you at the airport. It'll get you to the state line. After that, the train's making a special stop to pick you up," I tell Jim.

Jim's coughing which is worrying, the man sounds like he has the flu or something.

"Good. Would you mind if I told Sandburg what's going down, get him off my back a little bit?"

I can't help but laugh. That kid's curious about everything and I can imagine him asking Jim every few seconds for details of the case.

"That bad huh?"

"Worse," Jim confesses.

"Well, sorry. You can't tell him anything till you get on board that train."

"Thanks very much for your support," Jim replied half seriously, half jokingly.

"I don't make the rules," I reply, but it doesn't hurt to enjoy them a little bit where Sandburg is concerned.

"That's what I keep tell him," Jim jokes but then he sees the divorce papers. "They finally came, huh?"

"Yeah. Says in big letters 'you are divorced'. Now what? Hell, man. I kept expecting this to be a great moment, and….I don't know. All I feel is empty. It gets better, right?"

I can ask this of Jim because he's been married, he knows what it's like to be in love and then lose it all from the woman you think you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Jim's felt the pain and the anguish of divorce. Who better than my friend to ask.

"Yeah. Gets better."

"Thanks," I reply, needing to hear those words.

Only Jim doesn't tell me when it will get better. At the moment there doesn't seem to be a light at the end of that proverbial tunnel.

"I'll check with you later on," Jim says though he still doesn't sound well to me.

"All right. Take care of that cold."

"Yeah, it'll pass," he says as he goes out the door.

Stubborn detective when duty calls. I hope his cold gets better. I think he might need all his skills on this case. Not least enduring Sandburg's continually going on about what the case actually is and the secrecy behind it all. But also when they actually both board that train.

They're both going to need their wits about them. I have a feeling about this one.

I've been getting on with my paperwork. The detectives think they have to cope with heaps of paperwork, they should try being a captain. Everything has to be done in triplicate and even the minutest things seem to have to be accounted for. It's the worst part of being a captain sometimes, being stuck behind a desk so much. Sometimes I miss the leg work and the down to basics investigating that has to be done in all cases.

The divorce papers catch my eye. I light my cigar and hum to myself as I get ready to sign them. A knock at my door starts me. Not again.

This time it's Carolyn.

"There's a problem, Simon," she says. I don't like the sound of that.

"What's up?"

"The DA just got word from an informant. There's been a leak. Murdock's people know about the train and they're planning a hit."

Oh God, Jim and Blair!

"Maybe I can catch Jim before he gets on the train."

I pick the phone up quickly and dial Jim's cellphone number. Damn.

"His cellphone's out of range," I tell Carolyn. "Derek Wilson is going to be a sitting duck unless we can find a way to get in touch with Jim fast." My mind is racing with possible ways I can get a message quickly to Jim. An idea forms and I pick up my phone again. "Rhonda, yeah. Give me Metro."

But Metro gives me information I didn't want to hear.

"We're screwed. The train has already left the state line."

"Well, can we get through to Jim?" Carolyn asks obviously concerned for her ex-husband.

"The railroad's gonna try. But their communication gear doesn't work very well up in those mountains. The cellphone is out of range. They're going to hold the train at the next scheduled stop."

"But that won't be until another four hours! I don't like this, Simon."

I can hear the anguish in Carolyn's voice. She's normally so calm and collected but there's an underlying tinge of distress in her voice.

"Hey, I don't like it either, but at the moment, there's not much we can do. That's why I put Jim on the train in the first place. There's nobody better in a situation like this." I stop a moment to compose my thoughts. "All right. The train makes one stop before it gets to Cascade. I'm going to get on the horn with the state Police. I want to be there with the welcoming committee. Meantime, I want you to hold down the fort here. Also, uh, I know it's out of your area but if you wouldn't mind rustling me up a chopper?"

"Right away!" she says with a flourish as she starts to leave. Giving her something to do will help get her mind off Jim and what might be going on on that train.

My eye catches the divorce papers again but they are the furthest thing on my mind at the moment. They can wait.

A short time later Carolyn comes back into my office. She's walking quickly, urgently, a solemn look on her face.

"The choppers aren't flying tonight. Too windy."

Damn. That's not what I wanted to hear.

"All right. Look, it's going to take four hours before that train arrives at the next stop. I can make it in three if I take the mountain roads. I'll get them to loan me a four-by-four downstairs."

My decision made, I get up and walk round my desk. There isn't a moment to lose. Carolyn hands me my coat.

"Thanks," I say as I put on my coat.

"Listen, that road's pretty treacherous, Simon. Be careful."

"All right, I will," I tell her, touched by her concern.

"And tell Jim I'm, uh... never mind. Forget it."

I can see she's upset and concerned for her ex-husband. I wish there was something to take away that apprehension.

"Carolyn... I'll call you from the road and let you know how things are going," I say trying to reassure her, so she won't worry so much.

"Thanks," she tells me before she leaves my office. I'm not sure I succeeded; I think she'll still worry, but I did what I could.

I'm alone in my office again and I see the divorce papers staring at me. I pick them up and put them in the inside pocket of my coat. I don't know why it just seems logical to take them with me. Without further ado I'm on my way to the basement to borrow a four-by-four. I'm eager to be on my way to warn my men.

As the Police vehicle negotiates the mountain roads I realise how windy it actually is, no wonder the chopper couldn't fly tonight. I can feel it trying to move the four-by-four I'm driving off the road.

I've got to meet that train, Jim and Blair's lives could depend on it. These mountain roads are treacherous during the day let alone the night. At least I can't see the drop on the side of the car nearest to the edge. Perhaps that's a good thing.

My mind absently wanders to the divorce papers. My mind wondering for the zillionth time where it all went wrong. Suddenly the front of the car jack-knifes, on what I don't know, but the car is sliding and I'm fighting for control. I brake frantically; my heart hammering in my chest. For a moment I think the car and I are going over the cliff's edge. But I manage to get the car under control and come to a controlled stop.

My heart is thumping in my chest, my breathing rapid, as the car remains stationary. There is nothing but blackness surrounding the car. The car's headlights are illuminating an expanse of nothingness as I realise the car has come to stop facing the edge of an unfathomable drop. I don't want to know how close to the edge I am, or how big the drop is. Sometimes ignorance can be a blessed thing. I take some deep breaths to calm myself.

I back up carefully and continue on my way. Jim and Blair need me. I have to forget about the divorce papers for now and concentrate on the road in front of me.

The divorce papers can wait.

The wind seems to have lessened. I try Jim on his cellphone again. One of my calls has got to get through. Jim's phone is ringing and I wait with apprehension to see if it will finally be answered.

"Yeah?" I hear Jim's voice say and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Jim, it's Simon... Jim, you there?"

Jim seems vague and the connection doesn't seem to be very good. These damn mountains are to blame.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here."

I have to tell my detective the intel I have. His and Sandburg's life could depend on it.

"Murdock knows about the train. There's a bogey on board that'll try to hit Derek Wilson. You copy that?"

God I hope Jim heard me.

"Yeah. Yeah, I hear you. There's some guy on board who looks familiar to me. I'm just not sure where I know him from. Maybe he's the one."

"All right. Try not to spook him. I'm on my way. I'm gonna meet you at the next stop with the state Police. Till then, you and Sandburg are on your own. I'm counting on you, Jim....Jim? Jim, you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine."

The line went dead and our connection was gone. Jim doesn't seem himself, perhaps his cold is getting worse. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, maybe it was just a bad connection and we were cut off. Either way he has the information and that makes me feel better.

It's day now as I wait for the train with some local Police officers to intercept it. The crossing alarm sounds the train is coming.

"All right, everybody, this is it! Let's go!" I announce to the other lawmen.

The train isn't stopping and the bad guys are firing on us. The train has gone hurtling by and officers are down. What the hell is going on on that train? And where the hell are Ellison and Sandburg?

Now I'm following the train in the four- by-four via a service road next to the track along with another Police car. I can see the engine has separated and gone hurtling off by itself. The rest of the carriages are coming to a stop. Jim steps off the train and I stop to pick him up.

Thank God Jim looks okay and I can see Blair is okay too.

I wave on the other Police car to go ahead of us. Then Jim and I take off after the engine.

The Police car ahead of us exchange gunfire with the gunmen on the engine. They trash the Police car with gunfire, but the cops seem okay. Jim and I are in hot pursuit and closing on the engine fast.

"Let me have your gun."

That's one thing I would not expect Jim Ellison to ever ask of me.

"Where's yours?"

I could see mountains of paperwork, in the proverbial triplicate, if somehow Ellison had lost his gun.

"I gave it to Sandburg."

I don't believe it! My detective gave up his loaded Police weapon, and even worse than that, he gave it up to Sandburg!! This day just get better and better!!

"I'll explain later. Please, let me have your gun."

"For heaven's sake. Here, take it."

With reluctance I hand over my weapon. I watch as Jim leaps from the car onto the speeding train to apprehend the bad guys. Now all I can do is follow in the car and hope he is successful.

I walk into the Bullpen. Jim and Blair are already there. What a night. Least it's all resolved and the bad guys are behind bars.

"Hey, how about some breakfast?" I ask them.

"Sounds good. Who's buying?" Jim asks.

I look at my men. Jim and Blair point at each other, then they both point at me. Everything's back to normal.

"You sign your papers, Simon?" Jims asks me.

With everything that has been happening I had totally forgotten about the divorce papers.

I'm finally ready to sign them. I can do this.

"Turn around," I tell the young observer and then use his back as a surface to write on.

This is it. Don't think about it, just do it.

I finally sign them.

Jim and Sandburg are waffling on about Sentinel business and their banter is a natural distraction.

Things are back to normal around here. And now I'm a divorced man. Funnily enough I feel that a weight has been lifted off of me. It had to be done. I realise that now.

Jim and Blair don't realise how lost and bereft I feel inside. I know Jim told me it would get better but I still feel empty and cold inside. But a good captain can't show his men any weakness. I have to be strong all the time when I face them, no matter my emotions inside.

"Downstairs in five," I tell them putting on my captain's face, as I rush out before I have to say anymore.

Outside the Bullpen I feel the papers through the material of my coat. They crinkle slightly as I touch them.

It's over.

I've got a few minutes to compose myself before Jim and Blair turn up. No doubt they'll still be talking a mile a minute. Well Sandburg will be. I'll have composed myself by then.

I take a deep cleansing breath. God I've been hanging round Sandburg too much. He'll be teaching me meditation techniques next. Heaven help me!!

A new life begins. Joan is my past now. We can both move on. Maybe still remain friends like Jim and Carolyn have done. We have Daryl and nothing will ever change that. I would never want anything to change that. He is the best part of our marriage.

I'm not looking for a new relationship but if Miss Right makes herself known to me, I am strong enough to be able to reciprocate; now the divorce is final.

I'm in no hurry but I know that my heart can love again.

Author's Note: I used Becky's Sentinel transcripts for the bits of dialogue from the actual episode.