Rating: G

Jim thought it brought out the kid in his partner, but as Blair straightened and held up a tiny stone to the light, saying clearly to Jim, "Look, Jim, it's a piece of quartz," Jim wondered if it was just part of another test. Blair couldn't possibly see Jim that clearly, even with his glasses on; the light had to be shining in his eyes and Jim was a distance away and he would never be able to hear Jim's answer. Nevertheless, Jim smiled and waved. Blair waved back and turned back to his study of the ground.

Jim sighed. "I wish you would see me, Chief, not the sentinel, the man. But then if you realized how I see you, how much I need you and love you, you'd probably turn tail and run."

"Why would he?"

The voice made Jim jump out of his skin. Beside him was an elderly woman, obviously a well prepared walker by her sensible clothes and footwear. A pair of binoculars hung around her neck, over her back was a small back-pack, around her waist was a fanny-pack and she held a stout walking stick.

Jim climbed to his feet, wondering how this woman had gotten so close to him without his noticing. "Excuse me?"

"I said, why would he? Why do you think he would turn tail and run?"

Jim felt his mouth open and close, feeling embarrassed as much at being caught talking to himself as what he'd said, and the woman took pity on him.

"My name's Claire." She held out her hand and Jim automatically took it in his. He noticed it was cold, probably due to the cool air.

She turned to study the view. "Beautiful, isn't it -- the whole landscape, I mean. The air's so fresh and clear; you can see and hear for miles. I expect you could hear that young man talking to himself if you concentrated." She turned to look at Jim and her pale blue eyes seemed to see right into his soul.

Jim blinked, his eyes suddenly watering as though he had been looking at a bright light.

Claire turned back towards the edge of the cliff. "I remember," she began, "coming here years ago with my husband. We hadn't been married very long then. It was a day much like this, dry and warm, but not too hot up here. Could you help me sit down? My knees aren't quite what they were and the climb's taken a bit out of me."

Jim shook off the daze he'd slipped into and assisted the elderly woman down. She patted the earth beside her, indicating that Jim should sit too.

"Look, ma'am... I don't want to offend you, but I really think it's none of your..."

He didn't get any further as Claire tugged at his arm, pulling him down beside her with surprising strength. "Tell me about him," she instructed.

"Who?" Jim was buying time to think.

"That young man down there. Just how special is he to you?"

"I really don't see why I should discuss this with you." Jim was trying to remain polite towards this strange woman.

"If not with a perfect stranger you will never see again, then with whom?"

Jim took a deep breath, about to deny any feelings he may have towards Blair when he looked at Claire and what came out of his mouth was different to what he thought he was going to say.

"He's my life, my light, my sanity."

"And you can't tell him that?"

Jim's shoulders slumped slightly. "No, he's the only man I've every felt this way about and he's straight. He wouldn't be interested in a gay relationship."

"How much of that statement is based on fact and how much is supposition?"

"I'm a detective, ma'am. God knows, if he was interested I'd have noticed."

"You know, my husband, he was an attorney. He was never surprised how people could hide the truth from themselves and their best friends." She smiled. "He was my light, my life and love, yet if I hadn't told him how I felt, we'd have lost so many precious years."

Jim was suddenly curious. "How did you tell him?"

Claire laughed. "It wasn't easy. He thought I was a free spirit who would never be interested in the whole white picket fence ideal. So from the very beginning he decided we'd only ever be good friends. It took me a long while to convince him that he was wrong about that, and the picket fence didn't have to be white or even fence us in." Her eyes narrowed as she focused on Blair as he disappeared into the line of trees. "What do you think he sees when he looks at you?"

"Blair? I think he sees a friend, a partner, a buddy, at least some of the time. More often he gets the grumpy, insensitive grouch!"

Claire laughed again. "And yet he still stays with you!"

Jim grinned ruefully. "Yeah, that surprises me too."

"It sounds more like he accepts you for who you are."

Jim frowned. "Yeah, I guess that's true. He's got a very forgiving nature." He sighed. "I want to tell him how I feel, but our friendship might not survive that. We've gone through so much all ready. That could be the final straw."

For a moment they were silent, both lost in their own thoughts.

"Pretend for a moment that I'm your Blair," Claire said, quietly. "What would you say?"

"I've rehearsed that speech so many times in my head, but the words are never right."

"Then don't do a speech, talk from your heart."

Jim snorted. "That sounds like something Blair's mom would come out with! Me, I'd have to set the mood first, relaxed atmosphere, but make sure he didn't feel trapped, like he couldn't just walk out the door if he felt he had to, no pressure on him, you know?"

He turned to Claire who nodded for him to continue. When he didn't, she prompted him. "So you're sitting chilling out, as they say. You turn to him and say, 'Blair, there's something I want to tell you...'"

"Blair, there's something I want to tell you..." Jim stopped. "You know I've never been very good at discussing how I feel."

Claire chuckled and in spite of himself, Jim smiled too.

"This isn't easy," he said.

"Telling someone you love them never is. You can't be absolutely sure of their response. But if he is that important to you, then doesn't he deserve the truth?"

"Okay," Jim began again. "Blair, in the time we've worked together, living in the same apartment, I've learned to depend on you, rely on you more than any other living soul."

Again he looked at Claire for reassurance. When she smiled he carried on.

"You've grown to become the most important person in my life." Jim took a deep breath. "When I see you smile, it's like you light up the room. When I snap at you I hate myself because I see the hurt in your eyes even though you hide it pretty well and snap right back. You are one of the few people who never let me get away with anything. I admire you, respect you, even though I'm no good at showing that, let alone telling you. I know you'd never want this grouchy old cop, but I want you to know that I love you. I don't expect anything in return, but I hope you can stay with me knowing how I feel. I promise that I'll never make a move on you, but..."

"I hope you don't mean that!"

The husky voice behind him caused Jim to turn quickly and scramble to his feet. "Blair!"

Blair stepped over. "That was quite a speech, Jim." He looked over the landscape. "God, it's beautiful up here. I didn't realize we were camped so high, but I'm glad we did." He turned to smile at Jim.

Blair looked slightly flushed, either from the climb or something else, Jim wasn't sure. He took in the beauty that belonged to his partner. The sunlight glittered on Blair's hair, picking out the different shades.

"When were you going to tell me?"

Jim brushed the dust from his trousers where he'd been sitting. "Probably never," he admitted. "I was talking to Claire..." He looked around, suddenly aware of the lady no longer being there. "I must be tired or something, I didn't realize she'd gone."

"Who, Jim?"

"Didn't you see her? Elderly lady, she was sitting here with me. It was her who tried to convince me to talk to you."

"No, I didn't see anyone, but if I do, I'd sure like to thank her." Blair looked around. "Maybe she saw me and slipped away thinking to leave us alone together?"

A furrow creased Jim's brow. "I don't see how she could. I had to help her sit down. She had a walking stick... You'd like to thank her? Why?"

"You know, for a detective you're very obtuse."

"Eh?"

Blair moved closer. "If you'd really been looking, instead of just seeing the surface stuff, you'd have realized long ago that I love you too. I was just waiting for you to catch up." He put his hands on Jim's face, tracing Jim's lips with his thumbs. "Do you really think I'd have stayed if I didn't love you?" he whispered before moving one hand to the back of Jim's head to bring down for a gentle first kiss.

Jim moaned and pulled Blair into a tight embrace, deepening the kiss.

Finally when they pulled away, each man holding the other, Blair rested his head just under Jim's chin.

"Oh, yes. I knew you'd be good at this, once I got you here."

Jim smiled. He felt like he was ten feet tall right now.

He gazed over Blair's head to where he could see Claire down by the river. He frowned in puzzlement at how she'd gotten down there, and so fast. She looked up at him, smiled and waved, then she stumbled and Jim's heart stopped -- only for it to start again as a man stepped out from the trees and helped steady her. They walked away, talking.

"What's wrong?"

Jim looked down to where Blair's eyes were full of worry and concern, and what he was about to say went right out of Jim's head. "I just can't believe how lucky I am. How good you feel."

"I'm sure I can make you feel even better, once I get you horizontal." Blair leered.

"I'm sure you can." Jim grinned. "It might take a bit of practice though, to make me feel really good."

"Oh I'm thinking a whole lot of practice, maybe a lifetime's worth?"

"Sounds like a plan, Chief; though I think you'd better clear your books for several life times."

"I can do that." And Blair pulled Jim even closer and Jim sent a heart-felt thank you to Claire....

Epilogue

Jim sat down on the couch beside his lover. The setting sun brought a golden glow to the room and Blair seemed all light and shadows. He was sitting on the floor with his back against the couch. His face was lit by the glow from the laptop as he intently studied the screen. Some things never change, Jim thought.

"Jim," Blair looked up. "Is this that Claire you met on the mountain? You know, the one that brought us together?"

He angled the screen so Jim could see it better.

"Yes, that's her, a bit younger maybe."

"You sure?"

"Positive." Jim's senses tingled. "Why, what's happened to her?"

"More what did happen to her." Blair paused. "She died, a year ago to the day you saw her, near that exact spot."

"You're creeping me out here, Chief. Are you saying I saw, spoke to, touched, another ghost?"

"Unless you've got another explanation... She was a well known, experienced hill walker." Blair was reading from the article on the web site. "Everyone liked her. She knew that route very well; said it was quiet enough for her to commune with nature and she felt close to her late husband there. That day, the weather started off much like it was for us, only a thick fog bank suddenly moved in. Claire Clark's body was found the following morning at the base of the cliff." Blair looked up at Jim. "They're dedicating a cairn in her honor at that site."

Jim looked beyond Blair to the view outside, though he was seeing Claire and the man who joined her at the river.

"I'm thinking," Blair continued. "It would be nice to go up there, sometime before the bad weather moves in, and lay our own stone with the others."

Jim's focus returned and he smiled at his lover. "I think that is a very good idea."

Blair moved off the floor to sit beside Jim. He reached for Jim. "I would like to thank her personally for talking some sense into you," he whispered, just before their lips met.