Rating: NC-17

Notes: Blair has a nightmare.

Blair Sandburg sat up straight in bed; his heart beating wildly, a soft sheen of sweat coated his face and body sticking the sweats he wore to bed to his skin. "No," he muttered emphatically, "no, not this time." He drew a deep breath, then another.

Finally finding a calm centre, he said in a normal tone of voice, "Jim? I'm assuming here that you're awake and can hear me. First, I want to apologise for disturbing you. I'm okay, but don't go back to sleep yet, I have something important to say and no, it can't wait till morning. Oh, and don't think about coming down stairs, this is something that's easier for me to say in the dark with you in your room and me in mine. Just stay where you are and listen, okay?"

He waited a moment and listened for any movement from upstairs. Hearing none he took another deep breath and began speaking again. "As I see it, the problem is we've both been dating the wrong people - hell, the wrong sex. What I'm trying to say Jim, is that you should be dating me. Now, before you charge down here and beat me to a pulp, I want you to know that I love you and I don't just mean, love as one human being for another, I mean love as in 'in love' with you, as in wanting, needing, loving, got that? It came as a shock, believe me. I'm not even sure when it happened. It just hit me one day when you were doing your stoic bit, staring out of the windows with your back to me. I realised that I wanted to comfort you, hold you, kiss you and, yes, even fuck you into tomorrow. Well that threw me for a curve, but what shocked me even more was that I wanted you to fuck me! Good old, fuck-a-table-leg Sandburg wanted to be fucked by Mr James-poster-guy-for-straight-America-Ellison!" Blair paused.

"I mean it's not like I don't like men, you know? I get come-ons from both sexes; I just never wanted to take a guy up on his offer before. So when my straight flatmate starts to star in my own red-hot fantasies, well it's a bit of a surprise, you know what I mean? No, of course you don't." He sighed. "Anyway I couldn't tell you, could I, and it's been eating away at me, and well, I just had to say something. So I guess now we just pretend nothing was said, put it down to some stupid dream and go back to sleep. Only don't beat me up or chuck me out, please Jim? I'll never mention it again, I promise." His voice broke then and he sadly lowered his chin to his chest with a deep sigh.

"Blair."

The young man nearly jumped out of bed. "Jesus, Jim! What are you doing creeping up on me like that? How...how much of that did you hear?" he finished quietly.

His best friend was standing, silhouetted by the faint dawn, in the doorway. Blair couldn't make out his face and he didn't want to turn on the light.

"Most of it. I woke when I heard your heart thumping fit to burst out of your chest."

"Shit" Blair said quietly. He felt his heart sink. "I was still hoping that maybe you'd slept through it. I'll, erm, pack my bags when it gets light, okay?"

"No."

"Ah, Jim, you can't throw me out now, it's what..." he reached over for his illuminated clock ..."3am."

"I don't want you to go anywhere, Chief, not without me."

"Jim?"

"Look, it's cold in here. Shift up a bit." Jim moved closer to the bed.

"Jim??" Blair's voice went an octave higher.

"I just want to sit down. If I prop myself up at the top of the bed, you can sit in front and pull the covers up. Then we both can be comfortable." Blair found himself moving forward while Jim made himself at home.

The young man couldn't help himself, he tensed up. He just couldn't believe it. Here he was in bed with Jim, his back to Jim's chest, the big detective's legs on either side of Blair's, and yet he wished he was as far away as possible.

"Relax, Sandburg, I'm not going to hurt you. Now tell me about the nightmare. I'm guessing that's what woke you?"

"It was just a bad dream."

"Yeah, right! You wanted me to listen - I can't believe I'm saying this, so talk."

"I dreamt about the break up of your relationship with Sadie." No need to go into details, he thought.

"I've only been out with her twice and you already have us in a relationship!" Jim paused. "You sounded, I don't know, upset."

"Yeah well, I just don't want you to get hurt again." Denial, thy name is Blair.

The older man sighed, "Blair, I'm a grown man. I can take care of myself."

Blair snorted, and then yelped as Jim pinched the soft flesh of his thigh.

"What was that for?" He asked rubbing the now sore area.

"Just to remind you where you are."

"Believe me, man, this may be surreal, but I do know where I am." The warmth, in fact the whole proximity of Jim's body was having an effect on Blair's lower regions.

"Yeah? I know where you are too." Jim moved a little and Blair gasped as he felt the hard evidence of his partner's arousal.

"Jim...?"

"Shsh. You've had your say. Now it's my turn."

"This had better be good."

"Oh I think it could be."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, if you shut up and listen."

His companion made a zipping motion over his lips and waited. Just when he thought the sentinel would never start, Jim began to talk.

"To start with, do you have any idea how many people I have allowed to get as close to me as you are? In my entire life, no one, Stephen, Carolyn, not even Simon, has gotten under my skin the way you have. It took me a while to work out that it's not a Sentinel/Guide thing, not a guardian/shaman thing, it was more like a Jim-in-love-with-Blair thing."

Blair squirmed, dying to say something. "Sandburg," Jim hissed, "For god's sake, stay still or I'll never get this finished and I need to explain." His bedfellow stopped moving.

"Now where was I? Anyway you didn't seem interested in men, or in a long-term relationship, for which I was sorta relieved, because I would have had to deal with you in love with someone else and that would have been more than I could cope with, so I just let it go. I've never wanted or needed, or loved anyone the way I did -- do you, but there you were, working your way through the female population of Cascade and beyond, so I turned my attention to the few females you missed. Yes, they've all been... well, the word distastrous springs to mind. And I know you've fared no better. I thought we'd just plod along together until something or someone broke us up, till you met your someone special." He sighed, "I guess we've both been obtuse."

"I guess we have."

"One more thing, if we're going anywhere with this, I don't intent to be one more notch on that proverbial table leg of yours, right?" Jim paused, and said seriously "If we're going to make this work, it has to be just the two of us."

"I have no problem with that. Contrary to public opinion I do not cheat on a lady."

"I'm no lady, Chief."

"Oh, I know that, Big Guy." Blair rubbed his ass gently against his partner's groin. "I may not have a good track record, but this? This feels good. It feels right. I do love you. You ARE my ‘someone special'." He squeezed Jim's hands where they crossed over his own.

"So where do we go from here?" Jim asked.

Blair shifted and turned round to face his partner on the bed, kneeling between his legs. "We could start with a kiss?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"Hummm."

"Well, slide up here then."

The younger man moved up on all fours over Jim's body. Then he leaned across and switched on the light. "You may have great night vision, but I'd like to see what's on offer." He threw off his sweat top as he spoke.

"And do you like what you see?" There was an undercurrent of uncertainty in Jim's voice.

The young anthropologist leant back and studied his soon-to-be lover. Jim was a feast for the eyes, clad only in silk boxers that were tenting under Blair's appreciative gaze. The sentinel had to remind himself to breathe as he waited for an answer.

"Oh yes, very much so." Blair smiled and moved forward to gently kiss his partner's lips. Jim's hands went straight into the mass of curls, carding through it with his fingers and pulling Blair's head towards his own, deepening the kiss.

What started out as a gentle touch of lips gradually became so much more as both men moved to get as much bodily contact with the other as possible, tongues and hands exploring.

Blair finally pulled back, stunned and breathless. "God, Jim." He breathed and dived back in for another kiss.

Jim moved them into a better position and they began to move against each other, their erections rubbing together through the layers of clothing.

Blair pulled his head away with a gasp and arched his back. Jim groaned and thrust up as his lover pushed down, creating the friction they both needed and grinding their cocks against each other. It was too much for either man to last this first time and with yet more gasps first Jim, then Blair, came.

Blair reluctantly rolled over. For long moments the two men lay side by side on the small bed, trying to regulate their breathing and fighting the urge to slip into sleep.

"God, Chief, what you do to me. I haven't come in my pants since I was a teenager!" Jim panted.

"Good though, wasn't it?"

"Sticky, but good, yeah."

"So you want to do it again sometime?"

"Well I'd prefer us both naked, and maybe upstairs in the bigger bed. But yeah, I want to do ‘it' and more, again. Quite often in fact. You?"

"Naked? In your big bed? Oh yeah!" Blair's eyes shone in the light from the bedside lamp. "Naked with you anywhere, anytime, sounds good too."

"What have I landed myself with?" Jim said, drawing his hand across his eyes dramatically.

Blair rolled over to face his friend and propped his head on his hand. "Would you prefer to just ignore what I said and forget this ever happened?"

"Ah, Blair, no. I couldn't just ignore it. In a way I'm glad you had that stupid dream because it brought us here. It forced us both to talk, not that you've ever had problems in that area."

Blair punched Jim's arm. "You are such a repressed bastard, you would have let us ‘plod along' till we were too old to ever enjoy a lively sex life."

The sentinel rubbed his arm. "I'll show you a lively sex life." He suddenly pounced on his guide's body, rolling them over till they both fell off the bed on to the floor.

Blair began laughing uncontrollably and Jim, relieved that his new lover was unhurt, joined in.

"Oh, man," the young man finally said, wiping his eyes, "if you plan to get up to any more athletics anytime soon, I think we'd better adjourn to your bed."

"Shower first, Chief, then we take a nap. Then WE christen OUR bed."

"I can deal with that, as long as we shower together." Blair wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Jim stood and reached back to give his partner a hand up. "Together. Exactly what I had in mind, Chief. Exactly what I had in mind."