Rating: Mature

Sometimes you look at someone and it's as if the world has a softer focus, and you are sure that everyone can see just how much you love that person. It's so obvious that even the person you love must be blind not to be aware of it.

Another time you feel like throttling the life out of them!

Take this evening. I'm standing in a dark alleyway, clearing my lungs of the stink of Rafe's cologne—which is probably nowhere near as bad as I experience it and the alley is probably just as bad with the smell of urine, (animal and human), and some other smells that I really don't want to examine too closely—on stake-out, while the object of my affections is out on a date.

Okay, that's probably unfair. I've never told him how I feel. Though given he's an 'observer', you'd think he might have at least noticed! Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Without him along I can't focus my senses half as well. He somehow distracts me so I can anchor myself on him while watching the suspect. I can relax more too. Yes, I miss him when he's not around. I can admit that to myself. Not that I'd say to his face. Guys don't, do they. Even guys who are in love with other guys....

Thing is, I've heard him when he gets a guy come on to him; "I'm flattered, honestly. But I've always thought of you as a friend. I feel that if we got into a physical relationship it would spoil that. Can we remain friends?"

He does it so well that they usually do remain friends. I just don't want to hear that addressed towards me. It would kill me. So I've not said a word.

*Sigh*

I guess I should go back to the car. I'm only supposed to be stretching my legs a bit...

Oh joy! Blair's just walked out of the club opposite the alley. His date must have let him down, poor bastard. Not that he seems upset by it. Some guy's got his arm over Blair's shoulder and they are laughing. Guess it's just as well he can't see me as they are about to cross the road....

Oh god! No, it can't be... I would have known... And they've stopped and are kissing! Right at the entrance of the alley! And Blair's enjoying it! Blair's kissing a guy!

That neanderthal has his hands on Blair's ass. Blair's moaning. He's really into this, rising up on his toes, pushing his body against the other guy's.

I'm gonna kill the little bastard! That should be me! That should be my hands! It should be me he's pushing against!

I'm walking towards them before I even think of moving.

Blair is laughing. He hasn't seen me yet.

"As good as this is, I'd really like to get somewhere warm and comfortable."

His voice is husky, turned on.

"Sugar pie, I can warm you up, no problem!"

Man, that's corny, but Blair seems to be buying it.

"I bet you can!" he laughs. "Come on. I know a place." He turns and sees me, and his eyes widen. "Jim!"

There's something deeply satisfying about the way my name came out of his mouth in a squeal of surprise. I think I see panic in his eyes.

"Hi."

Not my brightest greeting, but it's hard to force words out when you are grinding your teeth.

"I... erm... we'd better get going. Good to see you, man. Night!"

He's practically dragging his... boyfriend away. Guess my look of 'I am going to kill you, slowly, and painfully, with my bare hands' is scaring them both because the guy he's with is looking nervous, but at the same time puzzled. Blair is going to have a lot of explaining to do! Serves him damn well right!

The stake-out is called off soon after I return to the car. The guy we were after got himself arrested for kicking someone's dog and swinging at the cop who came to sort out the disturbance! Obviously he is not the world's greatest criminal mastermind.

I decide not to go back to the loft straight away. Part of me dreads the possibility that Blair may be there, maybe with his new friend. Maybe not. Blair wouldn't bring the guy to our home, of that I was sure.

The other part of me dreads Blair not being there.

So I go to an all night café and sit nursing a coffee until around 3am, my thoughts going around and around in circles; how could I have missed it? And the big one, why doesn't he want me?

I decide by 3am that if Blair is home, he'd have gone to bed, and if he isn't at home, then I feel tired enough to at least rest my body even if my imagination would be working overtime about where he was and what he might be doing.

I know my luck isn't in as soon as I step in at the door of 852. I can hear his heart beating all the way down in the lobby. Don't ask me how I know his heartbeat. It's a sentinel thing, I think. I just know it's his without thinking about it. I also know that he's awake and agitated, and alone. Yes, I can also tell his moods... well sometimes I can, if I focus and we are not in a crowded place.

*Sigh*

I climb, wearily, up the stairs.

At my own front door, I rest my forehead against the door. I really don't want to have this discussion right now, or ever really. If I say anything, I will say something that will ruin our friendship. I may say something that will send him out the front door forever.

I turn the key in the lock and walk in. I hang up my coat; put the keys in the basket beside the door. I feel him watching me, waiting for me to speak.

"Stake-out over for the night?" he asks quietly, breaking the silence.

I grunt and walk towards the stairs, praying that he'll get the hint. Not Blair! Not the man who runs towards where others fear to tread! He's the only man who's never been intimidated by me. That's quite a claim to fame really.

"So you are just going to bed."

I grunt again and start up the stairs.

"We're not going to discuss what happened?"

My shoulders slump. "What do you want me to say, Chief?"

"I don't know! That you're shocked... something!"

"I'm not a homophobic, Blair. What you do with your own life is your business. Just... play safe, that's all I ask." I turn away again.

"Of course I play safe! What do you think I am! I just thought you'd be... jealous, is all."

The last bit was so quiet even I nearly miss it. My legs suddenly turn to jelly and I sit down on the stairs.

"You what? You wanted me to feel jealous? Of that great lug you were with?"

I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"I did everything else! The 'best bud' thing, the 'look how good I am with your work', the 'I like the Jags, and dogs', the 'I'm a great cook' courtship thing, even the 'I've got your back' thing.... Sometimes I'd catch you looking at me and I'd think YES! Then you'd run into the arms of some long-legged bimbo and I'd want to shoot you, or her, or him. Yes, I have noticed you flirting with other guys. Even Elaine asked me if you were gay or bi after the way you and Tommy Woo made her feel like a gooseberry.... I was running out of ideas here!" He throws his hands up in the air.

I laugh. I can't help it. All this time I thought he hadn't noticed how I felt when really I hadn't noticed he'd noticed... if you see what I mean.

And then he gives me this glare that could freeze most normal guys. It certainly kills my amusement. And they imply I'm scary. They haven't seen Blair really angry.

"I'm going to bed!"

He storms past me towards his bedroom. I quickly step down the stairs.

"Chief...," I begin, "all you had to do was to say something like, Jim, I love you. I want to play hunt the sausage with you for the rest of our lives. What do you say?"

He stops at his door and turns to look at me warily, and then walks to where I'm standing. There's a touch of the 'you mess with my head now and you will suffer' in his face.

"Jim," he begins quietly, "I love you. I want to play hunt the sausage with you for the rest of our..."

I don't let him say any more, I cradle his face in my hands and slowly bring our faces together.

The first kiss is everything I'd ever imagined and so much more. He slides one hand around to cup my head and the other he slips around to my back to pull me closer. Desire hits me like a wave of heat gently rolling down my body to pool at my groin, then it carries on down to my feet and makes my toes curl.

I open my eyes to look at him. He's got this heavy-lidded, lazy look about his eyes, his lips are red and swollen; it's a sexy look and my dick really likes it. I really want more, but I am puzzled.

"You've cleaned your teeth."

"Yes, and showered, and changed my clothes, in case you hadn't noticed. I thought if we got this far I didn't want you to sense another man on me."

I pull back a bit. "How far did you let him go?"

"God! Now you act all jealous! Haven't we got better things to do? Not far, okay? I think after we bumped into you, he kinda lost interest. Your glare is something to behold, you know!"

He grins and I shake my head.

"You are something, Blair, one of a kind."

"Yep!"

"One day that mouth of yours will land you in trouble."

"Then I rely on you to get me out of it. Of course we could put my mouth to better use..."

Oh boy! Now that's a thought...

Still I did have one more question... or two.

"How did you know where I'd be?" I ask as I trace his lips with my thumb, studying the feel of them, the warmth of them, against my skin.

"I just knew. I always know where you are. Don't ask me how. I just do. I doubt if I could look at a map and point to where you are, but if you are close... I can feel your presence." He'd dropped his voice so that it came out as a breathy Darth Vader.

I can't help but tease him. "You're too short for Lord Vader."

"Matters not size, Young Skywalker, the skill you have with your light saber is more important."

Then he kisses my thumb, sucks it slowly and then licks it, causing me to groan even as 'little Jim' strains against the jeans I'm wearing. He abandons my thumb, places his hand around my neck and pulls me down to kiss me again. It would take someone stronger than me to resist. Still...

"What about your boyfriend? Does he know you set him up?"

"Jimmmm!"

It's a whine, and I fully appreciate how he feels as he pushes up against me, making a point with the bulge in his jeans. I have to force the dials to my senses down, but it's a struggle to keep them there.

"I'm a detective. I have questions!" Okay, so shoot me, but I need to know.

He sighs, accepting the inevitable. "I told him you were my boyfriend. That we play this game where I make you jealous and the sex is incredible. I may also have implied that you are very possessive and don't like to see another man's hands on me. That you are very good at some martial arts and you carry a gun..."

"Blair! I would never assault someone if they laid a finger on you, unless of course you were an unwilling participant or if..."

I stop speaking because Blair is nibbling at my neck while he reaches down with one hand to rub my cock though my jeans. I can only throw my head back and moan as the tidal surge slams into me as I come. I almost pitch forward. I think my ears popped too.

He chuckles, huskily, as he steadies me while I regain my equilibrium. See, he hasn't destroyed all my brain cells... not yet anyway; I can still use long words!

"Bastard," I whisper, but I can't help but grin even though my underpants now have a wet patch. I brush his mop of curls back from his face to see his eyes twinkling.

"You talk too much." He grins broadly. "Now, how about you take a shower? Even I can smell Rafe's cologne on you and," he sniffs, "stale coffee. I may not be a sentinel, but I can smell it so it must be strong. Shower and then you can return the favor."

"Always telling me what to do. I am so hen-pecked," I say, shaking my head as I do as I'm told.

He shakes his head in turn. "I'd say cock-pecked, but that sounds... weird, maybe a little perverted. You know you'll feel better afterwards—and don't fall asleep in there."

"What are you going to do?"

"I shall lock up, turn off the lights down here and go upstairs to await my lover, so don't be long or I may start without you!"

"Yes, sir!" I chuckle. He's right of course. Once the endorphins die down, I will be aware of other things; a shower is a good idea. Right now I'm grinning like a loon though.

When I get upstairs Blair is lying naked stretched out on the bed, stroking his cock.

It's a sight to behold.

"At last!" he breathes.

I drop the towel I'd wrapped around my hips and crawl onto the bed.

His breath stills.

I used to love giving head. You'd think the guy you are doing is in control, but really, with the right guy, the 'doer' has all the control and I am good at making it good for both of us.

However, since I've come on-line as a Sentinel, I've had to watch out. Little things can booby-trap me; strong smells, tastes, even a wiry, stray pubic hair... so despite what Blair thinks, I haven't been with a guy since he came along. I kinda miss it.

I bury my head in the crease between Blair's cock and his leg and just sniff. It's perfect. Maybe it's because he lives with me, but he's clean, no artificial scents; he smells so good, I could zone out on that, but I'm aware of him clenching and unclenching his fists on the bed. He's trying to give me time, but it's difficult for him. He's got some staying power, I'll give him that.

"It's okay, Sunshine, just let go," I tell him and take just the head of his cock in my mouth.

That's all it takes and I get my reward as he comes with an almost silent gasp.

After a long moment I'm aware of him reaching for me.

"Come here," he says, beckoning with his fingers.

And I climb up the bed to rest my head on the pillow. He snuggles down, pulling the blankets over us both as he rests his head on my chest, wrapping his legs and arms around me like he's scared I'll disappear.

"Sleep."

I'm inordinately pleased with myself that I've reduced him to one syllable words.

"Love you," he whispers, scratching his nose before he drifts off.