In Which The Author Explains The Ratings on These Pages and What They Thereby Signify

  1. Safe for children, and people like you.

    G is for goodness. G is for wholesomeness. G is for generic.

    This is a story with NO violence, NO foul language, and NO situations that would make me send my one-year-old nephew out of the room.

  2. Safe for the average child of the nineties and network broadcast censors.

    PG is for permissive guidance. PG is for possibly good enough.

    This is a story with either SOME violence, SOME foul language, or SOME situation, possibly sexual, possibly just a mature discussion of some adult topic such as drugs, rape, or suicide that I would let my fifteen-year-old cousin stay in the room for because she might learn something.

  3. Requires a certain amount of maturity. Best for people who can say things like 'masturbate,' 'penis,' 'vagina,' or 'fluctuating interest rates' without blushing or stammering.

    R is for racy. R is for restraint. R is for random acts of sex.

    This is a story with SOME violence, and/or SOME foul language, and/or SOME situation, probably sexual, probably combined with a mature discussion of some adult topic such as drugs, rape, or suicide that I would sit down and watch with my friends because I know we are all mature grown ups, and we can handle it.

  4. If you can't imagine why any man would want to lick, kiss, or suck any part of anyone else's body at any point below the waist, you probably won't like what's in here. But, to be safe, let me point out that the characters involved most likely WILL lick, kiss, suck, and do other things to each other's bodies, above and below the waist.

    X is for extras. X is for extraordinary. X is for xylophone (X is always for xylophone).

    This is a story with violence, foul language, and adult situations involving an adult topic such as sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, rape, and/or suicide. In addition, this story probably contains one or more of the following: underage sexual activity, non-consensual sexual activity, graphically described drug use, sex with things that aren't human and/or sentient, and violence leading to death. More to follow as I think of it. This is a story I would watch alone first, before recommending it to certain friends that I know and love.

Well, that's it. These are my standards.

Questions about my rating system? Complaints? Email me.

I got the graphics courtesy of John Ryland at his page, RylandLand.