John's POV:

We're an hour and three courses into the feast to celebrate our new alliance with the people of M5X-301, or, as they call it, Menatoia, when I first begin to feel… odd. I can't describe the feeling, just that I know I'm not drunk, and yet that's almost how I feel. Except not quite. My skin feels like it's stretched too tight and it itches all over and it feels like I have a sunburn, when I know I don't.

I take another cautious sip of the fruity wine and the feeling intensifies a tiny bit. Suddenly I wonder if Rodney's feeling the same way.

Leaning to my right, I whisper in Rodney's ear, "Do you feel odd?"

He glances sharply at me from the corner of his eye. "Define 'odd', Colonel."

I shrug. "I can't, exactly. It's almost like I'm drunk but I know I'm not."

"You sure about that?"

"Fuck you, McKay," I grumble, returning my attention to the dance going on in the center of the circle of tables. Although he could be right. While I have lost count of how many glasses I've had, I do know the number is in the high double digits and he's had more to eat than I have because of his hypoglycemia.

"Whatever," he mutters. "You've had several more glasses than I have and much less to eat."

"I am not drunk, McKay."

"Again, whatever you say."

Having no luck with Rodney, I lean to my left and ask Teyla the same question.

"No, Colonel, I do not feel 'odd'. But I am drinking mostly water." Right. Teyla's still nursing Torren and so tries to stay away from fermented drinks.

"What about Ronon?" I ask, doubting that his answer will be any different from those of my other two team mates.

Teyla smiles gently at me. "I do not think Ronon is capable of 'feeling odd' when drinking alcohol." Of course. Leave it to the big guy to make me feel like a lightweight.

I swallow a sudden wave of nausea. "I think I need some air."

"John?" Teyla's voice is thick with concern. If she was the mother of our team before she got pregnant, she's even more so now that she's given birth.

"I'll be fine. Just need to walk around a bit." I begin to stand.

"It is considered rude to leave without the permission of The Elder."

I can't help it. If I stay here I'm going to pull a George Bush and embarrass us all by puking all over this table. I find I can't talk so I just shake my head.

"Colonel Sheppard?" The Elder calls, his voice stopping the music and conversation that has flowed as freely as the wine.

"Please forgive me, Elder," I manage to say without spewing the contents of my stomach. "I'm not feeling well and request permission to step away until I am feeling better."

He nods, his face a mask of concern. "Of course, New Friend." He waves one hand regally. "We wish you well."

I bow my head and exit the dinning hut into the gathering dusk and gulp lungfuls of fresh air. I head for the hut I'll be sharing with Rodney and nod to each of my men that I pass and decide to join them on their watch of the perimeter.

Grabbing my P-90 and Berretta, I do a quick sweep, feeling better with each step. Finding everything the way it should be, quiet and peaceful, I return my weapons to my hut and rejoin the party in the dinning hut.

"Feeling better?" The Elder asks when I retake my seat.

"Yes, much."

A huge grin breaks over his face. "Good, good. Let the party continue!"

Teyla leans toward me. "John?"

"I'm fine, Teyla. Really. Don't know what was wrong but I'm much better now."

She smiles and turns to thank the girl who is passing out the next course when she hands her a plate.

An hour later we're finally on the first of four dessert courses and the odd feeling returns, even stronger than before. I had made sure I ate everything on my plate after last time, just in case I was heading toward drunk, but it doesn't seem to be working anymore.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Colonel Sheppard?" The question brings me out of my contemplation of my navel and I raise my head to blink at the pretty girl pouring more wine into my glass.

"Hm?" I hum not really sure what she just asked me.

"Kirk," Rodney mumbles into his glass and I swivel my head to look at him, then instantly wish I hadn't when the world tilts alarmingly before righting itself.

"You say something, McKay?" I growl, the odd feeling making me more touchy than I should be.

"Not a damn thing, Colonel. Just that she's much too young for you and The Elder's youngest daughter."

"I didn't do a damn thing!"

"Didn't have to." He huffs and takes a bite of his dessert. "Have you not figured out that you're sex on a stick?" I can only gape at him while the serving girl stands there smiling at us. "Really, Colonel. Everywhere we go, they throw themselves at you. How can you not see it coming?"

"Okay, that's just ridiculous. Last time I had sex with someone not from Earth was that princess from the world with the twin to Atlantis. And I'm fairly certain she drugged me so she could seduce me."

"Not the point." He frowns at me and I notice that his pupils are slightly dilated.

I raise one eyebrow. "How ya feeling now, Rodney?"

"I… Hm. I feel… odd."

"Oh, really?"

"Shut up, you."

The girl giggles, drawing our attention back to her. She pours more wine into both our glasses and leans close to whisper, "Don't think, do."

"What?" Rodney and I ask at the same time.

She doesn't answer, just smiles and moves on.

"What the hell?" Rodney says his words slurring just the tiniest bit.

My lips are now beginning to feel numb and I lean toward Teyla again. "Now Rodney's not feeling well. I think we should turn in for the night."

She frowns at me. "Are you alright, John?"

I shake my head, then groan when my stomach protests the motion. "No," I manage to croak out, pressing my lips together and puffing out my cheeks while pressing one hand to my abdomen, trying to keep the contents of my stomach down.

"Then by all means, please go. It would not do for the two of you to throw up here."

"Exactly." I stand and pull Rodney up behind me.

"Colonel Sheppard?" The Elder again questions.

"Please forgive us, Elder. Dr. McKay and I don't seem to be feeling well. With your permission we will retire to our hut so that we may be well for the festivities tomorrow."

"Of course!" He grins and nods his head so vigorously that my stomach protests on his behalf. "Feel well, New Friends!"

"Sheppard?" Ronon's attention has finally been diverted from the food and drink, and nearly naked dancing girls, before him.

"We're fine." I slap him on the shoulder as I pass behind his chair.

"Do you need help?" He starts to stand.

"No, we're fine," I repeat, pressing on his shoulder with one hand, forcing him to resume his seat. "We can make it on our own. Our hut's not that far." And it's not, but when you're seeing double it can feel like a hundred miles.

We stagger from the dinning hut and across the clearing to where our hut stands, insisting we're fine each time one of the Marines asks if they can help.

Finally we stumble through the door and I close it behind us, fumbling with the lock.

"John?" Rodney's hesitant voice pulls me to where he's standing next to the bed.

Suddenly feeling extremely hot, I begin pulling the clothes from my body, leaving them where they fall. "Rodney," I breathe. Coming to a stop well within his personal space, reach out and run one finger rather roughly down his face. "You're hot. Let's get you outta these clothes." I begin removing his clothes and he lets me.

Once we're both naked we stand there, swaying and blinking at each other. "Now what?" he asks.

I shrug. "Dunno. Was hoping you'd know."

He snorts, then squeezes his eyes shut, grabs his head with both hands and moans. "That hurt."

"Rodney?"

"Hm?"

"Are we drunk?" Feeling like the floor is giving way beneath me, I lurch forward and hiss when our skin comes into contact.

Rodney instinctively puts his hands up to catch me, should I fall, but instead of pushing me upright, he pulls me in and wraps his arms around my shoulders so that we're pressed against each other from shoulder to ankle. "I certainly hope not," he murmurs before lowering his head and pressing his lips to mine.

I stiffen instantly and pull back from his embrace. "What the fuck, McKay!?" I rub the back of one hand across my mouth.

"You don't feel it?"

"Feel what?" He raises he eyebrows and looks down at my groin. A glance down reveals that my cock is fully erect. "Well, fuck."

"Exactly," Rodney says smugly.

"This is not one of your experiments, McKay. I am not gay."

"And I am?"

"You're from Canada."

"What's that got to do with anything?" He holds up one hand when I open my mouth. "Ya know what? Forget I asked." He rubs one hand over his head. "The only way I know of effectively getting rid of an erection is sex."

"And a cold shower," I interject.

"Really? When's the last time that worked for you?" I shrug. "And even if it did work, have you seen indoor plumbing? No? Didn't think so." He crosses his arms over his chest. "So, therefore, the only recourse we have at our disposal-"

"Oh, hell, fucking, no!" I don't even let him finish. "DADT may have been repealed while we were on Earth last, but that doesn't mean I'm suddenly into guys."

"Never said you were, John. Just that, ya know-" He shrugs.

"I am not having sex with you. This is not Brokeback Mountain!"

He grins, the left corner of his mouth dipping enticingly. "Again, didn't say it was. If you don't like my suggestion, you come up with one."

I sigh, my shoulders drooping. "It's just that-" I clear my throat. "I don't want to risk our friendship. I mean, I've done the one night stand thing with girls who were friends and our relationship was never the same again."

"That could be because you had sex with girls, Sheppard." I frown at him, the room's starting to spin again and I wobble where I'm standing. He rolls his eyes. "Everyone knows that girls attach emotions to sex."

"So what you're saying is we can fuck each other and it not affect our friendship because we're guys and we don't have emotions?"

He chuckles. "I'm fairly sure we do have emotions, but basically, yes, that's what I'm saying."

"I'm not sure I can, Rodney," I whisper.

With a huff, he flops down onto the bed. "Fine. Try jacking off. See if that takes care of it for ya."

"Not with you watching!"

His eyes go impossibly wide. "You saying you've never participated in a jerk-off contest with your friends?"

"When I was thirteen! It didn't take much back then. Certainly didn't have the mental library I have now, nor did I even need one."

"Like I'm gonna know what you're thinking while you jerk-off. Besides, I'll be doing it, too."

I narrow my eyes on his face. "You're not gonna turn this into some kind of contest, are you?"

"What, like, to see who lasts the longest?" I nod, embarrassment heating my face. "Naw. Once I get going I tend to forget where I am so I doubt I'll even notice if you come first or not."

"Until you recover."

He nods his head to the side and my stomach roils again. "Until then." He raises one eyebrow. "So?"

Not seeing any other option, I climb onto the bed and lie on my back next to him. Closing my eyes, I begin flicking through my favorite fantasies while almost lazily stroking my dick. Despite being fully erect I have yet to actually feel any arousal. Trying to not think about why I don't really feel horny, I begin speeding up my strokes.

After several minutes, it becomes obvious that my usual fantasies just aren't working so I switch it up, combining two or more and throwing in some of the women I saw dancing this evening. But it isn't until I hear Rodney gasp and remember the feel of his lips on mine that my back arches off the bed while my cock shoots stream after stream of semen over my chest and hand.

Slowly returning to Earth – or rather, to Menatoia – I open my eyes and turn my head to find Rodney watching me, his breathing surprisingly steady. "You came first, didn't you?" The words are out before I can even think.

He nods. "Yeah. Haven't come that fast in years."

"I had the opposite problem," I mumble, wiping ineffectively at the mess on my chest. "Had to go through most of my fantasies and then finally combined several."

"Hm," he hums, handing me what on closer inspection is his boxers. "I didn't even touch mine; just thought about that one dancer with the really large breasts who was totally naked and looked like she was rubbing herself off against the ground."

A laugh escapes me. "Who would have thought I'd be sharing masturbation fantasies with you?"

"Not me." He pulls back the covers and crawls beneath them, still buck naked. "I think I can sleep now. How about you, Colonel?"

I think about it a second. "Yeah, I think I can sleep." I follow his example and climb under the covers, also naked.

We settle down facing opposite directions and soon his even breathing tells me he's asleep.

Sometime later, I jerk awake, not really sure why. Lying still, holding my breath, I try and figure out what woke me. Not sensing any real danger, I slowly relax and begin drifting off again. Just before I slip under, I hear it: a soft moan coming from the other side of the bed.

Rolling over slowly so as not to wake Rodney, I turn to face him.

Rodney's rolled over onto his stomach and his hips are undulating in a very familiar way. Great. He's having a sex dream. Not that that's all that unusual. Rodney and I share a tent or hut every time we go off-world so I'm used to him having nightmares and sex dreams but after what happened earlier it's kinda embarrassing. Especially when I begin to feel my dick swell in response to the sensual sounds spilling from his lips.

I may not have been horny before but I sure as hell am now. And since he's already expressed a willingness to assist, I see no reason to not reach out and shake him awake. Well, no reason other than this might adversely affect our friendship. But damnit, I'm now horny as hell and it's all his fucking fault! So he can damn well help me take care of it.

"McKay!" I call, shaking his shoulder harder.

"Hm, wha-?" He comes awake slowly, hips still thrusting into the mattress. "Sheppard? What's wrong?"

"You're dreaming."

"Damn. Am I talking in my sleep again?"

"Yeah." I scoot closer until I can feel the heat of his body but not so close he can feel my erection; won't do to scare him before I can actually get up the nerve to ask him to let me fuck his gorgeous ass.

"Sorry," he mumbles, closing his eyes again with a sigh. "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, ya did, Rodney." I duck my head and nose behind his ear. "Whatcha gonna do about it?"

His eyes snap open, his breathing picks up and his hips stutter, then stop. "Wha-what are you saying, Sheppard?"

"I'm saying, I'm fucking horny and it's your fault."

"You sure about that?" He rolls to his right side, still facing me and I decide to take a chance and press in close enough to feel his erection touching mine.

Closing my eyes, I bite my lower lip, shoring up my resolve. This changes nothing. I'm not gay and I'll never want this ever again. "It may be partly the wine but you were making sex noises in your sleep and now I'm horny. So, yeah, it's your fault."

"So, what? You want me to jerk you? Or suck you?"

"You ever done either, McKay?"

"No. But how hard can it be?"

I laugh. "You really think that'll take care of this?" I take one of his hands and wrap it around my cock, biting back a moan at how hot his hand is. It feels so good. I begin to slowly stroke myself with his hand. "God, Rodney!" I throw my head back and toss one leg over his, hooking my heel behind his knees to anchor him in place, lest he try and escape.

"John." My name's a breathy plea on his lips. And then those lips are on my neck, nibbling and sucking.

Deciding it's unfair to not give him a hand, too, I let go of his hand, trusting him to continue, and wrap my fingers around his length. He's thicker than me and it feels strange to be touching another man's penis but I don't let myself think, just do what he's doing to me: stroking slowly up, pressing my thumb against the spot just under the crown before rubbing my palm over the head and then stroking just as slowly back down, squeezing when I reach the root and doing it again.

His hips begin thrusting erratically just seconds before I feel a warm liquid spurting against my chest and dribbling down over my fingers. I stroke him through the aftershocks, my own hips thrusting into the tight fist of his hand, chasing my own orgasm.

"Rodney!" I come with a shout, my back stiffening so hard my muscles actually twinge in protest and my vision goes black as I pass out from pleasure.

When I recover, it's to find Rodney still lazily stroking my spent cock with his fingertips, almost like he can't bear to not touch it.

I lean forward and press my forehead against his and he seems to take this as some kind of cue. Nosing against my cheek, he gets me to raise my head enough for him to brush my lips with his, going back again and again, each time pressing harder and deeper until he flicks his tongue against them.

Feeling I should give him something to say thanks for what he just did, I open my mouth and touch the tip of my tongue to his; following it back into his mouth where he captures it so he can suck on it. My eyes drift closed and a moan of pure need escapes as I feel my dick begin to harden again.

How is this possible? I'm not exactly a teenager anymore, I shouldn't be able to get it up again this soon. And I certainly shouldn't be able to get it up for a guy.

With a whimper, I bat his hand away. "Too sensitive?" he questions, drawing circles on my hip with his fingers.

"I can't do this, Rodney," I say, biting back another moan when he shifts closer, his erection rubbing pleasurably against mine. "I shouldn't be able to do this. I'm over forty! I'm supposed to need more recovery time than this!"

"See, not my fault," he mumbles from where he's tasting the skin of my shoulder with cat like licks of his tongue.

My hips seem to have a mind of their own and they begin moving in an effort to get some friction on my dick. "What should we do?"

"Why you asking me, Sheppard? You're team leader." His hips aren't still either and before long I feel the tell-tale tingle at the base of my spine that signals my pending orgasm.

"God! Fuck!" I yell, stiffening against him as my balls tighten up against my body and I come all over his chest just seconds before he returns the favor, shouting my name.

"Maybe we should stop touching," I suggest, not making any effort to actually move away, my hand going back to his limp cock as if drawn by a magnet.

"Yeah, maybe we should." His hand has also returned to lightly, almost lovingly, caress my dick.

"I can't." The admission is pulled from me with a sob. If this is how the rest of the night's gonna be, I'm going to be so fucking sore come morning that it'll hurt to piss.

"Me, either." The flesh under my fingers begins to slowly harden and he whimpers. "Not again!"

"Rodney," I murmur. "Let me try something." I roll him to his stomach and knee his legs apart so I can kneel between them. Taking his butt cheeks in my hands, I squeeze them before pulling them just far enough apart for me to nestle my erection between them. Lowering myself to lie stretched fully over him, I begin to slowly thrust against him. It feels almost as good as fucking a woman and before long my precome has lubricated his flesh enough for it to not be painful.

When he begins lifting his hips to meet mine, I raise myself a bit, just to change the angle and increase the friction. This, unfortunately, allows me to pull almost all the way out from between his cheeks and on the down stroke, the head of my cock begins to catch against his asshole. Not that he seems to mind, judging from the sounds he makes when it does.

Taking my cues from him, I stick two fingers into my mouth to wet them, shushing him when he whines when I stop thrusting against him. Placing my fingers against his hole, I slowly push in. I may have never had sex with a guy before but I did have one girlfriend who loved playing with my ass. She never did more than finger me but I do remember how good it felt whenever she touched my prostate and I want to show Rodney that pleasure.

With my fingers as far in as they'll go, I crook them and feel around for the bundle of nerves, knowing I've found it when he jerks and groans, his legs opening even further to give me more room.

"Good, huh?" I lean down to kiss one generous globe and give in to the urge to taste his skin.

"God, Sheppard! I thought you said you'd never done this before."

"I haven't. At least not with a guy. I had one girlfriend in college who loved playing with my ass. She introduced me to my prostate. She also loved taking it up the ass. Can I, Rodney?" I kiss his other cheek, this time biting gently down, just to hear him squeal.

"Can you what, Sheppard?" He squirms, pulling his knees further up under his body when my fingers still. "Don't stop!"

"Can I fuck you?" I give into his demand and begin twisting my fingers, thrusting them in and out but staying away from his prostate.

"Can I fuck you after?" He's gotten himself up onto his knees and is rocking back onto my fingers, trying to get me to increase the pace. I place one hand on his lower back to slow it back down. "You like having your ass played with so maybe you'll like being fucked, too."

"If me fucking you doesn't get rid of whatever the fuck it is that has us hornier than teenagers, then sure, you can fuck me, Rodney."

A full body shiver passes through him. "God! I think I have something in my vest that we can use."

Of course he does, I think with a snicker. Without removing my hand from his back, I pull my fingers from the tight grip of his body and reach down and snag his TAC vest from the floor. Rooting around in the pockets single handedly, I finally locate a mini first aid kit. Leaning against his ass, since I find I don't have the strength to not be touching him, and I need both hands to open the kit, I open it and discover a tube of KY jelly. "Condoms?" I ask, tossing the rest of the kit and his vest back on the floor.

"We're both clean, John. Besides, I don't carry those with me."

"Why not? You seem to be a Boy Scout in every other aspect."

"Canadian. Never was a Boy Scout."

"And yet you like to be prepared." I open the tube and squirt some onto his ass, watching it run down his crack for half a second before catching it on my fingers and spreading it inside his hole.

"Too many things can go wrong." He moans when I give in and rub against his prostate again. "John, please!" He thrusts his ass back at me and I don't even think before leaning down and sinking my teeth into the flesh of his left butt cheek hard enough to leave a mark but not hard enough to make him bleed. He howls and I can feel the muscles around my fingers contract causing me to smirk against his ass. Dr. M. Rodney McKay gets off on pain. Good to know.

Removing my fingers, I smear some KY on my cock and grab his hips to hold him steady so I can push my way inside. My head drops back on my neck at how tight he is. Sherry used to fuck herself regularly with a dildo so she wasn't ever virgin tight.

Rodney whimpers slightly and it's enough to bring the body beneath me back to my attention. Mindful that he's never done this before, I pause with just the tip stretching the tight guardian ring of muscle.

"Relax, McKay. And breathe."

"Hurts," he whines.

"Want me to stop?"

He shakes his head. "God, no! You do and I'll fucking kill you dead!"

I laugh and manage to slip in a bit further, both of us groaning. "Push back, Rodney." He shifts his ass closer. "Not like that. Relax the muscles, let me in."

"I don't know how!" He's panting harshly and sweat has broken out along his shoulders.

"Sherry once told me it's like shitting in reverse." That has him giving a bark of laughter that has him opening enough that I'm able to slip in half way. "That's it. God, just a bit more," I mutter, shifting closer and readjusting my hold on his hips.

"You don't look this big!" he says, gasping when I pull out a bit before pushing back in.

Deciding that holding onto his hips isn't good enough, I grab his ass and pull his cheeks apart and find it much easier to enter him. "Ah! That's it, Rodney! So fucking good!" I begin thrusting in and out, managing to get a bit further on each in stroke until I'm balls deep.

I pause there, my balls resting against his, my stomach pressed up against his ass and grab frantically for the reins of my control. Sherry loved it rough and hard. Even preferred to be tied down. Girl was a freak who loved simulated rape. If she was taking it up the ass, that is. Couldn't come any other way. But this is Rodney and he's a virgin to anal sex and I refuse to hurt him like that.

Draping myself over his back, I nuzzle along the back of his neck up into his hairline. He shivers at the barely there contact and I feel him relax even more.

Placing my right hand next to his, our fingers entwined, I reach under him with my left hand to find his half hard cock. I give it a loving caress, then cup his balls in my hand. "Let's see if I can make you come again."

He swallows loudly and drops his head, giving me even more access to the back of his neck and pushes back, trying to take more of me inside.

Taking the shell of his right ear between my teeth, I begin to slowly pull out, huffing a laugh when he clenches his muscles in a subconscious move to keep me inside. I then begin to just as slowly push back in, pausing when I bottom out.

Keeping to this pace, I kiss, lick, suck and bite on each inch of skin I can reach. Soon I'm rewarded by his dick filling against my wrist. When he's fully hard again, I stand up on my knees and grab his hips to hold him still so I can slam into him with short, hard thrusts three, four, five times. I then pull all the way out and pull him back onto me two, three, four times. He cries out each time his ass hits my stomach.

Pausing with my dick buried deep in his ass, I begin circling my hips, pressing as deeply as I can, almost as if I can literally climb inside his skin and become one with him.

"Fuck!" he shouts and I reach under him, squeezing the base of his cock, deflating his erection just enough to bring him back from the edge. He drops to his elbows, resting his head on his clasped hands and pants harshly into the sheets.

"Want to stop?" He twists his upper body to glare at me over his shoulder. "I'll take that as a no." I chuckle and sit back on my heels, pulling him up and into my lap.

This position has him impaled even deeper on my dick and he howls at the extra stretch, his hips bucking up into the air, trying to find friction for his dick. Spreading my knees, which spreads him open even more, I thrust up into him while pulling him down and reach between his spread thighs to run one finger around the skin of his hole where it's stretched wide around me.

He shudders and clenches his muscles and I repeat the caress. His head lulls on my shoulder, his nose finding its way behind my left ear. He flicks his tongue against my earlobe and I turn my head to brush a kiss to his lips. His eyelids are at half-mast and from what I can see of his pupils, they're blown wide with passion.

Continuing to run one finger around the stretched skin of his asshole, I take his cock in the other to give him something to thrust into.

He reaches back with both hands to hold my head steady so he can stretch back to suck on my tongue some more while he fucks himself on my dick and fucks my fist.

My knees are just starting to protest our position when my balls tighten up and I empty myself into his guts, gasping my release into his mouth. I tighten my fist and rub my thumb against the crown when it pokes through the top of my fist and before long he's spilling over my fingers, his breath catching in the back of his throat.

"God damn," he pants, going boneless in my embrace.

I hum my agreement, and shift him off my dick as gently as I can. He hisses at the pain but is too sated to do more than collapse face first into the pillows.

He doesn't roll over so much as flops onto his back, keeping me between his spread legs. "That was…" He seems at a loss for words and I can't keep the smirk off my face.

"Wow. Will wonders never cease? Rodney McKay speechless?"

"Fuck you, Sheppard," he says but there's no heat to it.

"Naw, I'm good," I chuckle, stretching out with a groan beside him.

He twists his head to look at me. "You said-"

"If me fucking you doesn't get rid of whatever is causing us to be hornier than teenagers, then you could." I yawn big and loud. "Somehow I think that cured it. Go to sleep, McKay. Morning's gonna come sooner than you think." I turn over and face the wall, fighting the nugget of guilt that forms at the shocked silence from the other side of the bed.

I'm pulled out of a light doze sometime later by the feel of Rodney's lips pressing against my left shoulder blade. "Rodney," I grumble and start to shrug him away when my dick begins to take an interest. "Damnit!"

"My turn, Sheppard." He licks his way down my back, stopping to nibble on the curve of my ass.

"I think you can call me John now, Rodney." His left hand slides over my hip and his fingers walk down my hip bone to card through my pubic hair before wrapping around me and stroking gently.

"My turn," he says again, his tongue drawing random patterns on the skin of my ass.

I obediently roll over to my front, my stomach clenching in anxiety; it's been years since anyone other than a doctor has had their finger up my ass and now I'm gonna let Rodney put his cock there. Crossing my arms, I bury my head in them and open my legs, inviting him to just on with it already.

But he doesn't seem to want to rush through this and I can't decide if I'm grateful or not. On the one hand, I don't want it to hurt, it's a long walk back to the gate. And on the other hand, I'm not sure how long I can lie here and let him fuck me.

"Easy, John," he whispers in my ear. "I'm gonna make this as good for you as you did for me."

His words have me breathing a sigh of relief that I took my time with him and didn't just fuck him like I used to with Sherry. A first time shouldn't hurt unnecessarily.

I tell myself to relax and enjoy it, it'll be the only time it'll ever happen after all, but even so, I stiffen when I feel his lube slick finger pressing against my hole. His other hand comes up to rub soothingly on my back and slowly I begin to relax enough for him to slip in up to the second knuckle.

"God, John. So fucking tight." I can't stop the whimper when he pulls out to add more lube. "Sh," he hushes me with chaste kisses to my shoulder. I bite back a cry at the burn when he presses back in with two fingers. "Easy, easy. Just breathe." My world has narrowed down to the sound of his voice and the contact of his hand on my back and his fingers twisting in my hole.

A gasp escapes when he begins to thrust them in and out. It's been too fucking long. I forgot how good it feels. Gonna have to start fingering myself when I jerk-off from now on. My hips begin undulating against the bed, the rough material of the sheets a perfect counterpoint to the stretch and burn in my ass.

Rodney curls his fingers and stars explode behind my lids when he rubs against my prostate, and my body relaxes enough that it doesn't register the initial penetration of his third finger. In fact by the time I'm aware he has three fingers in me, he's pulling them out so he can replace them with his dick.

With a sigh, I force my body to open up and allow him entrance. He goes slow but even so the pain pulls me slightly out of the haze my orgasm left me with. Rodney tugs me to my knees, the whole while still slowly pushing his way inside.

By the time I'm fully impaled on him, we're both panting harshly and sweat has begun to appear on my skin.

Unlike when I fucked him, he doesn't pause once fully inside, just immediately begins pulling out, still excruciatingly slow. Instead of pushing back in when he's almost all the way out, he pulls me back toward him, then pushes me away before he's even half way back inside.

For several agonizing minutes he fucks me with just the head of his cock. "Rodney!" I plead, trying to take him back in but he just tightens his grip on my hips and keeps up the punishing pace.

With a whine that I will deny ever left my throat, I lower my upper body to rest my head on my hands and give myself over to his fucking. This must have been what he was waiting for because no sooner do I stop trying to control it, than he slams home so hard that my back bows and I throw my head back hard enough that I almost clock him in the nose and I howl my climax at the ceiling as it's ripped from my body.

I collapse forward, again resting my head on my arms and he drapes his body over mine, his hips doing a better than average imitation of a piston. Each time his stomach connects with my ass it drives a grunt that just might be my rank from his throat.

Rodney settles his body fully on top of mine, just grinding his hips down into me and growls some of the filthiest things I have ever heard into my ear. My orgasm boarders on painful since my dick didn't harden this time but the contractions of my muscles finally pulls his climax from him. With a strangled yell, he collapses on top of me his breath hot on my sweat slicked skin where he has his head tucked into the crook of my neck.

I gasp when his soft dick slips from my body. When he doesn't roll off right away, I wiggle out from under him and realize he's fallen asleep. "Fuck you, too, McKay," I mutter, pulling the sheets up over us and rolling over to face the wall again.

A shaft of blinding sunlight pierces through a crack in the shutters covering the window and finds its way to my face. Muttering about not being ready to get up, I bury my head under the pillow only to have it pulled off by Rodney.

"We don't have time to sleep in, Colonel." His voice is ice cold and I shiver despite the heat of the sun warmed room.

God. He is not usually a morning person but this is beyond anything I've yet to experience from him. I squint up at where he's standing next to the bed, fully dressed complete with TAC vest. I know it's gonna be one of those days because he hates wearing the vest.

"Time's it?" I yawn and stretch, scratching at my chest, then freeze when I realize I'm naked and memories of the night before come flooding back in. "Fuck!" I pull the covers up over my head, silently begging the Ancestors to let me ascend right the fuck now!

"Nice try, Colonel," he grumbles, pulling the sheet down and off. "It had to have been that fucking wine. Now get your ass up and dressed. It's nearly noon and The Elder is not very happy we missed breakfast."

He doesn't even wait for me to respond, just turns on his heel and marches from the room, slamming the door hard enough to make the windows rattle.

Jumping from the bed, I dress quicker than I have since basic, and go in search of my errant scientist. We have to talk about what happened last night. Even if it's never gonna happen again I need to know it hasn't damaged our friendship.

Rodney seems to know that I want to talk about it and somehow makes it so we're never alone for the rest of the day.

Teyla, of course, notices and pulls me aside just as the sun has begun its descent. "John, is there some reason Rodney is angry with you?"

How to answer that question? It's painfully obvious that the only reason we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves last night was the wine but it's not like I took advantage. He wanted it just as much as I did. Didn't he? I shake my head. "I'm not sure. He was in this mood when he woke me today."

"Hm. Perhaps if you were to speak with him?"

Just what the fuck do you think I've been trying to do? "I've been trying. It's obvious he doesn't want to talk to me."

"Would you like me to speak with him on your behalf?"

I huff out a bark of humorless laughter. "That would just make matters worse, but thanks for the offer."

She bows her head and returns to the group of young women she was talking with.

At dinner that night, I drink only water. I'm not sure if Rodney's drinking water or not because he's sitting on the other side of Ronon. It's becoming clear that these people have managed to destroy our friendship in a way that not even the fiasco over the Arcturus Project could. If him breaking my trust couldn't break up our friendship then an alcohol fueled one night stand shouldn't be able to either. And yet it has done just that.

Just as dinner is wrapping up, I lean over to whisper in Teyla's ear, "Do you mind swapping with me? I don't think Rodney'll want to share the hut with me tonight."

"Rodney has already asked and I will tell you the same thing I told him: you two are best friends. Whatever it is that has him angry with you needs to be worked out and that cannot happen if you avoid each other."

I frown at her but know she's right. We need to talk about this, get past any awkwardness that might be present so that we can continue to work together. "Anyone ever tell you you're too smart for their own good?"

Teyla's laugh rings out and draws attention from all around the dinning hut. "Just tell him what is in your heart, John. You might be surprised at what he says in return." And with that she nods to The Elder and withdraws with the other women.

The evening's entertainment isn't fit for female eyes and I'm fairly sure it's not fit for mine either. Some of the younger men and a few older women, those that are obviously past childbearing age, engage in sexual relations and just remind me of what Rodney and I did the night before.

I look to my left and find him leaning back in his chair to look at me around Ronon's back. The expression on his face breaks my heart and shores up my resolve to make sure this doesn't break us.

When there's a break in the fucking going on in the middle of the circle, I stand and get The Elder's attention. Bowing deeply from my waist, I keep my tone as respectful as I can. "Forgive me, Elder, but since it's a long walk back to the gate, my people and I must get up early so I request your permission for us to retire to our huts."

"The entertainment wasn't to your liking? We can have younger girls, older men, animals?"

I just about swallow my tongue on that. "Not at all, Elder. As I said, we must get an early start."

He frowns and appears to think it through. One of the men who had been 'performing' for our entertainment, approaches his chair and leans over to whisper something in his ear, looking back at us over his shoulder when he's finished. The Elder's eyebrows climb his forehead. I bite back a sigh because I just know I'm not going to like what he's about to say. "I have just been informed that your peoples don't engage in this form of entertainment. Is this true?"

I glance over at Rodney and find his cheeks stained red with a blush. "Not in public, no. Sex is a private act between two people who care for each other."

"I see." He lowers his head. "Forgive me for not asking if it would offend you."

Choking back a laugh I reply, "We're not offended, Elder. I swear. I just want to get an early start tomorrow."

"Very well. Again, my apologies for not asking. Have a good night, New Friends!"

Rodney, Ronon and I exit the dinning hut. Ronon detours to gather Teyla from the women and Rodney and I continue on to our hut in silence.

He whirls on me the instant the door is closed behind us. "What the fuck!"

"I'm sorry, McKay. Were you enjoying the free porn?"

"Not that, you idiot!" He steps into my space, getting right in my face.

"Then what?" I bump his chest with mine to get him to back up a step.

"'Sex is a private act between two people who care for each other'," he throws my words back at me.

"What?" I raise my hands, palms up in a shrug. "It's true. I may not have ever thought about having sex with you, and don't plan on ever doing it again, but I do still care about you. You're my best friend, Rodney. You know as well as I do that romantic love isn't required for sex to be mind blowing, which by the way, it was!"

That seems to take the wind out of his sails. "Mind blowing?"

"Yeah. My gut clenches every time I think of your hand on my cock."

"But you don't ever want to do it again."

I lower my head to stare at where I'm scuffing the toe of one boot against the floor. "No, Rodney. I'm not gay. I'm not even bi-sexual. Until last night I never wondered what it would feel like to fuck another man. I love you, but not like that." I look up at his face, bracing myself for his disappointed look but am surprised to see his thoughtful look, instead.

"Hm. I never thought about it, either. Of course, I also never had a girl play with my ass during sex."

"McKay," I growl.

He just blinks innocently at me. "What? You're the one who freely admitted you liked it when your girlfriend played with your ass, specifically your prostate."

"Are we good?" I ask when his serious face dissolves into a mischievous grin.

"Yeah, we're good." He nods and holds out one hand.

I knock his hand aside and pull him into a man hug, complete with stinging back slaps.

And if we spend the night barely sleeping, completely dressed and on top of the covers, neither of us mentions it.