Okay, I just have to step back and treat this like any other puzzle that needs solving. I've had addiction problems before, I know I can kick this if I try hard enough. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? There is no way in hell I'm going to kick this particular addiction without some professional help. Unfortunately, I don't know anyone who specializes in this type of addiction.

It's been about six months since I first realized that what I thought were, for the most part, harmless wet dreams, were, in reality, a full-blown addiction. I mean the kind where if I'm out of his company for more than 72 hours, I'm going through withdrawal, with all of the accompanying symptoms. Shaking so bad I feel as if there's an earthquake happening under my feet, sweating through my shirt and the irritability; please don't get me started. The last time he took vacation, okay he was on medical leave with the flu, but still he was out for almost a week, I thought I'd have to admit myself into the psych ward of the hospital. Yeah, that would have gone over real well with my coworkers. I could just see the conversation, `Why ya in here man?' `I'm going through withdrawal.' `Withdrawal from what?' `Our boss.' Yeah, no. Not going there.

Just when I get it under control, as we drive out to the latest scene he pops this CD in and out comes this song that I swear I could have written. I didn't know who it was at first, but I made sure to find out once I was near a computer and the internet. Turns out it was Kelly Clarkson, ya know the first winner of American Idol? Yeah, didn't think he'd have one of her CDs, must have been left in his vehicle by someone else. Anyway, I found out the words and of course downloaded it. It's called Addicted and it pretty much says everything I've been feeling lately.

I've taken to humming it around the office, subconsciously, of course. But when I'm alone, I really belt it out.

Then one day the unthinkable happens; he catches me singing it. I thought I was alone in the shower room, so I turned it up and sang to my heart’s content while thinking about him and stroking myself.

Just as I feel my orgasm start to build, I sense someone behind me. 'Oh please not him. Anyone but him!' I silently beg whatever deity might be listening. I look over my shoulder and it's him! Oh god, I think I'm going to die. At least I know for certain I hadn't said his name, I know this because I was singing the song. I started singing it so that I wouldn't gasp his name as I climaxed. Of course, I probably shouldn't be masturbating while at work, but everyone's done it once or twice, especially in our line of work. Ya really just need to unwind some times, before ya can go home, know what I mean?

So anyway, there we are, staring at each other. Both trying to ignore my raging hard on and the fact that I'd been caught not only jerking off at work, but jerking to a Kelly Clarkson song!

"So, how... um...how long ya been standing there?" I ask as casually as I can.

"Long enough," he says. Oh, that's real helpful. I try to think back to before I stepped under the shower. Did I say anything that might give me away? Could he have seen or heard if I did?

"So, do you need help with that?" he asks.

"What?" I must have heard him wrong. There's just no way he could have offered to help me get off. No way in hell.

"Would you like me to help you do something about that?" he asks again, this time pointing to my erect dick. Of course, my dick thought it was wonderful of him to offer and got even harder.

"Um... wha...what did you... um... Whatdidyouhaveinmind?" I said it all at once just so I wouldn't stumble over the words. God, I felt like I was back in high school and my crush had just asked if I'd like to make out with her.

"Well, I thought I'd start by getting undressed and joining you. Then, well, we'd take it from there." He had his hands on his hips and his head cocked to the side, just like when he sees a piece of evidence that intrigues him. "Or better yet, why don't you come out and we'll go to my place? Hm?" Man, remind me to never break the law in his town. No wonder his suspects always confess. He has this real intense look that reminds me of Mrs. Douglas, my fifth and sixth grade teacher. Never could get away with anything in her class. "Are you com…going to …" he was obviously having a difficult time asking if I was going to leave to shower without saying the word come. And I was not in the mood to help him out of his misery, at least not yet. He'd been standing there, for who knows how long, watching me masturbate and didn't say anything. And besides he's cute when gets flustered, which happens so rarely.

"Am I going to…what?" I ask as I turn around to face him. My erection had deflated a little, just enough that it was no longer painful. "Come?" I grin as a bright red flush rushes up his neck and into his cheeks. He drops his gaze and I can feel it land on my dick, which grows harder again.

"Yeah." he sighs, so softly I almost didn't hear him.

"Not any time soon," I say. "So, back to your place so you can help me with this and I can help you with that?" I ask as I point to the tent growing in his pants. A grin and a quick turn on his heel are my answer.

"You'd better hurry or I'll start without you!" he calls out as I hear the doors to the shower open and close.

I'm dressed and on my bike in under ten minutes. I know where he lives, we all do. He has the whole team over for Christmas every year. I'm pretty sure I broke just about every speed law there is, but I make it to his house just as he's unlocking his front door. He just looks at me with one eyebrow raised as if to say `Please tell me you didn't just break the law?' All I can do is grin at him. He chuckles as he opens the door and motions for me to lead the way inside.

As soon as he closes the door, I have my back pressed up against it as he tries to swallow my tonsils, if I still had them. I moan and return the kiss for all I'm worth.

"Bedroom, now," he growls as we come up for air.

"Mmmm," is all I can say, even if my mouth wasn't full of his tongue.

We strip each other as we make our way down the hall to the bedroom. I'd really love to see the body I've been fantasizing about for half a year now, but kissing him is just so hot. Once we're both naked and standing next to the bed, he pulls back and I can't help but think, `Oh no. This is where he tells me it's all been a joke, or that he's changed his mind and doesn't really want me.' But he just looks me over from head to toe and I do the same. God, but he's perfect. He must have thought I was too because when he finally looked me in the eyes, all I could see was desire and an emotion I'm not ready to identify yet.

"I want to fuck you. Will you let me?" he asked it so softly, almost as if he were afraid I'd say no. And that's when it hit me. He was having the same doubts about me that I was having about him.

"I've never...with a man before." I couldn't stop the blush that crept up my torso as I made that confession.

"It's alright. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"No you don't understand. I want to, I've just never done that before. Hell, I've never even kissed a man before." The smile this earned me was almost blinding in its intensity.

"I've never had a virgin before. And knowing that I'm your first kiss as well, wow."

His smile is making me feel all kinds of things inside that I'm really not ready to examine just yet, so I pull his lips down to mine so I can kiss him some more.

"Mmm. Yummy. I love the way you taste." he murmurs as we break for air once again. "Can't get enough. Might just have to keep you tied to my bed all weekend." I'd almost forgotten that this was our weekend off. I was doing a little happy dance in my head. I could possibly spend the entire weekend with him, in bed, doing all the things I'd been dreaming about for months now.

After what felt like an eternity, he pushed me back onto the bed and crawled over me to lie on top of me. My body burned everywhere we touched, which was everywhere. We both hissed every time our cocks came into contact with each other.

"So, can I fuck you?" he asked again.

"Oh, god yes, please." I was so close I didn't know if I'd be able to make it much longer.

"On your hands and knees, baby. It'll hurt less that way," he whispered in my ear before licking the outer shell.

I shivered at the sensation and rolled over like he asked. As soon as I had my ass in the air, I felt his hands stroke up the outside of my thighs, up over my hips and on to my cheeks. He placed tiny little kisses all over and the thought of this man kissing my ass made me giggle. I really couldn't help it. He was quite literally kissing my ass!

"Ticklish?" he asked.

"No. Just the thought of someone like you kissing my ass. It's kind of funny, ya know?"

"Hmm. Yeah it is," he replied with a chuckle. "Now I've got to stretch you so it won't hurt so much. Okay?"

"Yeah sure. Just get on with it, will ya?" I was trying my hardest not to squirm. Waiting for him to enter me was the hardest thing I'd ever done. But I knew he was right. If he didn't prepare me properly, then it would hurt like a bitch. And I didn't want my, our first time to be anything but wonderful.

Then I felt something cold and slippery touch my crack and I couldn't help but flinch. "Sorry." he murmured.

"'S okay." I gasped as I felt his finger rub against my hole. I couldn't believe that we were doing this.

I hissed at the burn as he slipped it in. "Breathe," he encouraged. "Just remember to breathe." Easy for him to say. He didn't have someone's finger in his ass! When the pain started to lessen, he slipped a second finger in and I couldn't bite back the cry of pain. "Sorry. Sorry. I thought you were ready." He just held his fingers in me as he gently stroked my lower back all the while murmuring nonsensical words of encouragement. When I started to relax a little he moved his fingers and the gasp that drew from me was one of pleasure. "See, told you it would be good," he chuckled against my lower back.

"More. Please. I need more," I whimpered. I knew I was begging, but couldn't seem to help it.

"Okay, just hold on, baby," he had been twisting and scissoring his fingers, but now he shoved them in a little farther and curled them… and the pleasure I felt was so intense, I almost came right then. "Uh-uh. Not yet, baby. I want to be inside of you when you come," he said as he gave the base of my dick a squeeze. "That was your prostate. Felt good, huh?"

"Oh yeah," I moaned. "Please do that again."

"Not yet." he said again, as he kissed his way up my back.

I couldn't stop the groan when he removed his fingers and replaced them with his dick. "Just remember to breathe," he told me as he slowly pushed inside. The pain was not as bad as I had feared. He seemed to take a really long time to enter me. Stopping every few inches to reassure me and remind me to breathe. "That's it, baby, I'm all the way in," he finally said, a note of awe in his voice.

I couldn't believe he was inside me. I felt so full, like I was ready to burst and then he started to move. His thrusts were slow and long at first, but as the pain lessened and I began to move with him, his thrusts became faster and harder and more erratic. I couldn't stand it anymore and reached under myself to stroke my dick, only to have my hand slapped away and his stroke me in time to his thrusts. Before long we were both crying out our release. He collapsed on top of me and we lay there for an eternity before our breathing calmed and our heart rates returned to normal.

"I have a confession to make," he said as he rolled off me and pulled me into his side, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"Yeah?" I prompted when he didn't continue.

"Yeah. I've been wanting to do this for quite some time, now."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah. You know that song that I played the other day?"

"The one I was singing tonight?"

"Yeah. I heard it a club and thought of you."

"Yeah. It made think of saying something like what alcoholics say at AA meetings."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Hi, my name's Tim and I'm addicted to Horatio Caine."