"So beautiful, Speed. You are so beautiful like this." He is, of course, talking about seeing me take his dick inside me. "Speed! God, don't move," he says through gritted teeth after only a few thrusts.

"Wha…?" I am so close I can taste it and he wants to stop! No way in hell. I know he's as close as I am. I can hear it in his voice; see it in the way the tendons stand out in his neck. I try to stay still, I really do, but he feels so damn good inside me that I can't help but squeeze my muscles around the fullness in my ass.

"Damnit, Speed!" he shouts as hot fluid coats my insides, pushing me right over the edge with him.

"That was…" I sigh as I falter with what I'm trying to say. Because what I want to say is, 'That was so beautiful', but that would be too sappy. "the best ever." I know its kinda cliché, but what can I say, we've only been lovers for a few weeks. Right now, every time's the best ever.

"Yeah, it was," he agrees as he pulls out of me. We both groan at the loss of contact. "So, another shower, then?" he asks as he places an open-mouthed kiss to the middle of my back.

"Not with you." There's no way I am ever again going to step into a shower while he's around. The first time we ever fucked was after he caught me masturbating in the shower at work. Every time I even think about taking a shower when he's near, he jumps me and I have trouble sitting for several hours, sometimes even days, afterwards. And after the first time, for a whole week.

"Oh come on," he chuckles. "I'm not that bad am I?"

Our eyes meet in the mirror and I can't help but laugh at the look of mock affront on his face. "Yeah, you are. I would really like to go into work just once without everyone knowing what I'd done the night before," I state as I start to clean myself off.

"Like they wouldn't still know that you'd got laid. You can't keep that silly I've-just-been-fucked look off your face." He was right. Even if it had been hours since we'd last fucked, I couldn't keep from smiling like a loon.

"So? Maybe I'm tried of walking like I have a stick up my ass." I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. I love it when he takes me; however he wants to take me, whenever he wants to take me. Whether it's gently, while flat on my back, in bed, roughly on my hands and knees or pressed up against a wall with our pants pushed down around our ankles. "H? I didn't mean it the way it came out."

"Yeah, I know." He's hurt. I've actually hurt him with my words. Something I swore I'd never do.

He won't meet my eyes in the mirror, so I turn around only to find him walking away. "H? I'm sorry."

"Yeah? Just how sorry are you?" he asks as he stops next to his bed. A bed that I now know better than my own. When I don't respond, he glances back at me over his shoulder; a shoulder that bears the mark I gave him just hours before in the heat of the moment. "Come on, Speed. Show me just how sorry you really are." The gleam in his eyes is one I've never seen before, at least not when he's looking at me. It's the look that he reserves for the worst of the worst. Those suspects that think they're better, smarter, than he is and will get away with whatever it is they did wrong. I, of course, know better. No one is smarter or better than Horatio Caine. Especially when it comes to getting a suspect to confess or getting me to scream in ecstasy. And man, does he know all my hot spots.

The first time was fast and furious, the second only a little slower. It wasn't until several days later that I learned every inch of his body and he mine. Now, we only go straight for the hot spots when there isn't time to go slow, like when he catches me getting out of the shower or sees me heading towards the locker room at work. The one and only time he fucked me at work is still a hot memory. I get hard just thinking about how wild he was that day.

"…sorry you are." I shake my head to clear it as I realize he's still speaking to me. "What are you going to do, Speed? You hurt my feelings, so how are you going to apologize? Hm?"

I can think of something, something that he's wanted me to do, but I've been hesitant to try again. 'Cause let's face it, until H came into my life I was as straight as they get. I mean, just months before H and I first got together I broke up with a girl who could have been in pornos. Yeah, she was wild and so sexy. But then again so is H. He's taught me things that I'd never even heard of or thought were possible.

"Okay, you want me to show you just how sorry I am?" I ask as I approach where he's still standing by the bed. "How about this for an apology?" I stop just inches away and place both hands on his shoulders to push him backwards onto the bed.

He lands with a slight bounce and a huge grin. I don't usually take the lead; I was a virgin until I met him after all. He's been trying to get me to be more aggressive in bed and top, but that's just not me. I love being his bottom. I know he likes to be topped from time to time and I did it for him once. I don't think I did it right. Neither one of us came while I was inside him. It was only when he entered me that we both came. I'd never had a more intense orgasm in my life, before or since. Then there are the blowjobs. He loves to give and receive them. I love to get them, especially from him. I tried to blow him once, but just like the failed attempt to top him, it didn't work.

"Oh so now you're mister tough guy, huh?" he's taunting me. I know he is and damnit all to hell, it's working.

"I'll show you tough," I growl as I crawl up the bed to lie on top of him. He just grins up at me. He knows how scared I am and he's getting off on knowing that I'm stepping out of my comfort zone. I straddle his torso and kiss him for all I'm worth just to buy myself some time. I want to do this for him, I need to this for me, I just don't know how. I love this man more than I've ever loved anyone and I'm so scared that if I don't get this right then he'll leave me for someone who will.

"Speed, baby. It's okay. You know you don't have to." He always seems to know when I need encouraging. "Just being with you is enough."

"No it's not, H. Not anymore. I need to do this. I just don't want to fuck up again."

"You could never fuck this up, baby."

"I fucked it up last time."

"You tried to do too much, too fast last time. Just go slow. Take it easy. And don't forget to…"

"Breathe," I finish for him. The first time we fucked, he told me to breathe at least five times. It has become something of a code for us. Whenever one of us is doing something we find uncomfortable we'll say, 'Just breathe' to let the other know it's okay and that we understand how hard it is. "Yeah. How could I possibly forget that? You're always telling me to breathe," I snap at him.

"Well, it works, doesn't it?" he just grins at me. He makes it really hard to stay mad. "Whatcha gonna do now, tough guy?" He licks his lips as one hand reaches out to stroke my reawakened erection. "Are ya just gonna sit on my chest, or are ya gonna *fuck* me?" With the emphasis placed on the word fuck, I know he's on to me. He knows I want to blow him.

"I…god, Horatio. Why is this so hard for me?"

"Maybe cause it's a dick and not a pussy?"

"No, that's not it. I've been dreaming and thinking about doing this for some time now. I don't have a problem with your dick." I sigh and start to get off him, but he grabs my thighs and holds me in place.

"Tim. Look at me." He commands. "Just start with my face and work your way down when you feel like it," he continues when I look him in the eye.

I can do this. I can. I lean down and start to kiss his forehead. Just little chaste pecks at first, then bolder open-mouthed kisses as I forget that my goal is to take his dick in my mouth. I kiss him everywhere. His eyes, his nose, his cheeks. I ignore his lips for now, just concentrating on the feel of his skin beneath my lips, the taste of his sweat on my tongue. One of my favorite things is to nibble on his ear. He has really sensitive ears. And nipples, but I'm getting ahead of myself. I lick a path from his chin to his left ear and start to nibble. He starts to moan and squirm. "Tim…" His voice is husky and he's a little out of breath, like he's just run a marathon. "God, Tim. I lo…" he stops mid word and I stop mid nibble. Did he almost say what I think he almost said?

"H?" I pull back to look him in the eye.

"Tim. I…uh…I…" he falters and turns his head away. I guess it's just too soon for him. But not for me.

"I love you, Horatio Caine." I finally say it out loud and I've never felt…more sick to my stomach in all my life! Oh my god! I can't believe I just said that. "H, I…"

"No, Tim don't ever be sorry or try to apologize for how you feel. Just because I'm not ready to say it, doesn't mean you're not."

"Then you know." A statement, not a question.

"I hear you say it all the time. You might think I'm not paying attention or I'm sleeping, but that's what I want you to think." He shifts so that he's sitting up and is eye level with me. "The first time, I thought I was hearing things. You'd said it so softly. But you said it again the next night and I started to pretend I wasn't listening or was sleeping so I could hear it again. I feel better knowing you love me."

"H?" I say as I shake my head.

"It's okay. I knew before I even heard the words come out of your mouth. It's in the way you touch me, the way you look at me when I enter you. But mostly it's in the way you say my name as you climax."

All this emotion has me kinda choked up and to hide the tears that are threatening to fall, I grab his head with both hands and try to remove his tonsils with my tongue. I am so going to give this man the blowjob of his life! Even if it kills me, and it just might.

"Speed," he pulls back to gulp some much-needed air and to try to get me under control. "Go slow. We have all night." The smile on his face is the same one he gave me the first day we met. The one that the victims get. The 'I'm here for you if you ever need anything' look. The one I just realized I fell for all those years ago. I've been in love with Horatio Caine for years and didn't even know it, until now.

I lean back in and capture his lips with mine. The kiss starts out slow but then gets deeper, more desperate. I can feel his stubble rubbing against my cheek as I kiss my way back to his ear, where I continue to nibble on the lobe and lavish attention on the delicate outer shell. Then I kiss my way down to his shoulder to deepen the mark I placed there earlier. He hisses at the pain of my teeth breaking the skin.

"Good thing that stays covered. I really don't want to have to explain why I've got a bite mark on my shoulder."

"Mmmm," is all I say to that. Like he'd ever explain something he didn't feel others needed to know.

Once the mark is as deep as I want it, I kiss and lick my way across his shoulder to the hollow where his collarbones meet. I dip my tongue there just like he does to my navel and press my lips to the pulse jumping there. I leave another mark, this one without the teeth, and continue my exploration of his body. He is so very perfect. Just the right amount of hair on his chest and these pert little nipples hidden underneath. As I kiss my way across his upper chest, one hand finds a nipple and begins to tease it to attention.

"God, Speed. The things you make me feel. Those hands of yours should be illegal," he gasps as I finally take his right nipple into my mouth and start to suckle.

My hands, my *illegal* hands, are on the move. Stroking and teasing everywhere I can reach. Everywhere except where he wants my touch the most. His dick. That's for later.

I push him back down onto the bed and lick my way down his side to where his body meets his leg and then run my tongue over to the other side, stopping to lap at his bellybutton. He's bucking like a wild bronco now as he tries to get some friction on his dick. I hold him down with one hand, while the other continues to play with his nipples.

"Speed!" He's frantic now. Just the way I usually am. He's been teaching me how to please him by using my body as an example. Now I'm going to show him what I've learned.

I kiss, nibble, suck, and lick my way down his left thigh. I look up at him through my eyelashes and catch just a hint of blue peeking out from beneath his half-closed eyes. I feel a rush just knowing I'm making this man feel this way. Just knowing that I can make Horatio Caine lose control is like the drugs I used to do to forget about my painful existence. Now Horatio is my drug. A drug like no other because he makes me stronger. As we gaze at each other our eyes meet, I know without a doubt that he loves me every bit as much as I love him. Like he said to me, it's in the little things. The way he touches me, even at work, the way he looks at me as he enters my body, and most importantly, the way he says my name. It doesn't even have to be in bed, he puts everything he feels, but can't say, into my name.

I dip my head down to continue to show him just how much I love him. And find that I'm finally ready to give his dick the attention it deserves.

I lean up just a little and look at it. It's a deep purple that looks painful and steadily weeping precome. As I run my fingers up the side, he holds his breath. I know what he wants, needs, me to do and I'll do it. When I'm done teasing him. I treat him to the same torture he's given me each and every time he's done this to me. A soft stroke with just the fingertips up one side and just a little more pressure down the other. Then I grab the base and give it a squeeze, which makes him whimper in need. "Not yet, baby." I remind him. "I'm in charge tonight."

"Speed," my name is both a curse and a plea on his lips.

I just chuckle as I stroke my fist lightly up the shaft to the head where I rub the palm of my hand in tiny circles, making him hiss in pain/pleasure. I've never been able to make him this needy before and I'm afraid the power is going straight to my head. This must be how he feels when he brings me to the brink over and over before allowing me to climax.

I continue to lightly stroke him as I watch his face. I can tell when he's getting close. He bites his lip until he draws blood. When he does that, I lean up and lick it off. "Mmm. Horatio Caine. My favorite drug," I murmur in his ear as I increase both the pace and tightness of my hand on his dick. He knows he's like a drug to me. The first night we were together I told him I was addicted to him. He just laughed and said he felt the same.

As I feel his climax drawing ever closer, I lean down and take him into my mouth.

"Shit, Speed!" he cries out as I swallow him whole. "Easy, baby. Maybe a little warning next time?" I just look at him through my eyelashes as I continue to suck on his dick. He grabs fistfuls of my hair and starts to fuck my mouth with the same intensity as he fucks my ass. "I'm gonna come now Speed!" he warns just as I feel his balls tighten up in their sacks. I pull back until just the head of his dick in my mouth and start to swallow just before the first of his liquid hits my tongue. The taste is so Horatio: slightly bitter with a salty aftertaste. I love it and want more. I suck him dry and continue to hold his dick in my mouth until it's soft and then I allow it to fall out with a soft 'pop'.

"Mmm. Yummy. Now I know why you love doing that so much," I say as I crawl up his body to share his pillow.

"No. I love to do that because it's the only part of you you'll allow me to take into my body."

"I couldn't get you off, H!" I can't believe he wants to discuss this now. I just want to bask in the post coital glow and he wants to rehash an old fight. The time in question happened about a week ago and was our first fight as a couple. "Please let's not argue about that again. Okay?"

"No," he says in a clipped voice as he sits up, dislodging me from his side. Uh-oh. I know that voice. It's the one that Stetler usually gets. I call it his 'I really can't stand you, but I have to be polite to you' voice. Only this time, it has a touch of hurt and anger in it. "We need to discuss this, Timothy."

Oh, god. He used my full name. I'm Speed when he's happy, horny, or about to come; Tim when he's being serious or is getting angry and Timothy when he's pissed. When he reaches the point where he's using my full name, I'd better do my best to make things right.

The last time he called me Timothy, before we were together, was on Dispo Day. Right after he found out that I wasn't cleaning my gun. I hate guns. I know, what am I doing in a job where I have to be around something that scares the shit out of me? Well, I really don't know why I started working as a CSI. But I know I'll never leave as long as Horatio is around.

"Please, Horatio. Not now."

"Then when?" he demands as he gets out of bed to pace the room like a caged tiger. "We've been together almost a month now, Tim. When are we going to discuss this?"

"Discuss what exactly?" I ask as I climb out of bed to approach where he's standing staring out the window at the ocean. "I thought this was about the fact that I don't want to top you."

"It is."

"Liar."

He turns around so fast he almost hits me. "What did you just say?" his eyes narrow on my face. God, did I just blow this? The best relationship I've ever been in with one word?

"Um…"

"Don't even think of lying to me Speedle." He's never called me that before. This is a new element. A part of him I don't know and am not sure I want to ever know.

"I called you a liar," I swallow past the lump in my throat. "We both know this is no longer about the fact that I wasn't able to make you come when I topped last week. So why don't you just tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."

Part two: Horatio's POV

"Oh God, H," my lover moans as I slowly push into him. I cornered him in the shower and now have him bent over the sink. He's watching my face in the mirror, but I'm watching my dick disappear into his ass. "I love you," he whispers and I flick my eyes up to meet his in the mirror and then back down to his ass. He has yet to really say it, he only whispers it when he thinks I'm not listening or am asleep, although I know how he feels.

"So beautiful, Speed. You are so beautiful like this." I am, of course, talking about watching him take my dick inside him. "Speed! God, don't move," I say through gritted teeth after only a few thrusts.

"Wha…?" He's so close I can taste it. I love the way he feels around my dick. He's still so very tight. All I want to do right now is become a part of him. I want to take him into my body and become one person. He tries to stay still; I can see how much of an effort it is for him. I can feel it in the muscles of his back as I run my hands up to his neck and back down to his ass. Just I'm starting to gain control of myself he squeezes me, hard.

"Damnit, Speed!" I shout as I coat his insides, pushing him right over the edge with me.

"That was…" he sighs as he falters with what he's trying to say "the best ever," is what he ends with.

"Yeah, it was," I agree as I pull out of him. We both groan at the loss of contact. "So, another shower, then?" I ask as I place an open-mouthed kiss to the middle of his back. I have this obsession with him and showers. The first time we ever fucked was after I'd caught him masturbating in the shower at work. I can't help but get hard everytime showers and his name are mentioned in the same sentence. The first time was fast and furious, the second only a little slower. It wasn't until several days later that I learned every inch of his body and he mine. Now, we only go straight for the hot spots when there isn't time to go slow, like when I catch me getting out of the shower or see him heading towards the locker room at work.

"Not with you." He says as he pushes himself upright, forcing me to take a step back. "Oh come on," I chuckle. "I'm not that bad am I?" I ask as I try for an affronted look, knowing that I'm failing miserably.

Our eyes meet in the mirror and he laughs at the look of mock affront on my face. "Yeah, you are. I would really like to go into work just once without everyone knowing what I'd done the night before," he states as he starts to clean himself off.

"Like they wouldn't still know that you'd got laid. You can't keep that silly I've-just-been-fucked look off your face." I say as I grab the towel from him to clean myself.

"So? Maybe I'm tired of walking like I have a stick up my ass." I can tell he regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. I know he loves it when I take him; however I want to take him, whenever I want to take him. Whether it's gently, while flat on his back in bed, roughly on his hands and knees or pressed up against a wall with our pants pushed down around our ankles. "H? I didn't mean it the way it came out."

"Yeah, I know." I'm pretending to be hurt. I have something that I want him to do and guilt is the best motivator I know.

"H? I'm sorry." He says as I exit the bathroom to walk over to the bed.

"Yeah? Just how sorry are you?" I ask as I stop next to my, *our* bed. A bed that he now knows better than his own. When he doesn't respond, I glance back at him over my shoulder; a shoulder that bears the mark he gave me just hours before in the heat of the moment. "Come on, Speed. Show me just how sorry you really are." I'm sure I have a look in my eyes that I've never used with him, at least not where he could see. I feel like I do when I'm interrogating a suspect who feels that they're smarter than me. None of them has ever been smarter than me.

"I'd really like to know just how sorry you are." I see him shake his head as if to clear as I continue speaking to him. "What are you going to do, Speed? You hurt my feelings, so how are you going to apologize? Hm?"

"Okay, you want me to show you just how sorry I am?" he asks as he approaches where I'm still standing by the bed. "How about this for an apology?" He stops just inches away and places both hands on my shoulders to push me backwards onto the bed.

I land with a slight bounce and a huge grin. I've been trying to get him to be more aggressive in bed and top me, but he's still new to homosexual sex. I love topping him, but I also like to be topped from time to time. I got him to try once. He was so nervous that neither one of us came while he was inside me. It was only when I entered him that we both came. Then there are the blowjobs. I love to give them, especially to him, and I also love to receive them. He tried to blow me once, but just like the failed attempt to top, it didn't work.

"Oh so now you're mister tough guy, huh?" I'm taunting him. It's the only way to get him to let go.

"I'll show you tough," he growls as he crawls up the bed to lie on top of me. I just grin up at him. I know how scared he is and I'm getting off on knowing that he's stepping out of his comfort zone. He straddles my torso and kisses me for all he's worth just to buy himself some time; I'm sure.

"Speed, baby. It's okay. You know you don't have to," I say as I grab his head to make him stop and listen. "Just being with you is enough."

"No it's not, H. Not anymore. I need to do this. I just don't want to fuck up again."

"You could never fuck this up, baby."

"I fucked it up last time."

"You tried to do too much, too fast last time. Just go slow. Take it easy. And don't forget to…"

"Breathe," he finishes for me. The first time we fucked, I must have told him to breathe at least five times. It has become something of a code for us. Whenever one of us is doing something we find uncomfortable we'll say, `Just breathe' to let the other know it's okay and that we understand how hard it is. "Yeah. How could I possibly forget that? You're always telling me to breathe," he snaps at me.

"Well, it works, doesn't it?" I just grin at him. I let him get angry with me, he's beautiful when he's angry. He'll also do what I want, just to prove he can. "Whatcha gonna do now, tough guy?" I lick my lips as I reach out with one hand to stroke his reawakened erection. "Are ya just gonna sit on my chest, or are ya gonna *fuck* me?" With the emphasis placed on the word fuck, I let him know I'm on to him. I know he wants to blow me.

"I…god, Horatio. Why is this so hard for me?"

"Maybe cause it's a dick and not a pussy?" He once told me how much he used to love going down on the women he beds.

"No, that's not it. I've been dreaming and thinking about doing this for some time now. I don't have a problem with your dick." He sighs and starts to get off me, but I grab his thighs and hold him in place.

"Tim. Look at me." I command. "Just start with my face and work your way down when you feel like it," I continue when he looks me in the eye.

He leans down and starts to kiss my forehead. Just little chaste pecks at first, then bolder open-mouthed kisses as he gains more confidence. He kisses me everywhere except my lips, just concentrating on the feel of my skin beneath his lips. One of my favorite things is when he nibbles on my ear. I have really sensitive ears. He licks a path from my chin to my left ear and starts to nibble. I start to moan and squirm. "Tim…" My voice is husky and I'm a little out of breath, like I've just run a marathon. "God, Tim. I lo…" I stop mid word and he stops mid nibble. Did I almost say what I think I almost said? Oh god. I really shouldn't have stopped. I should have turned it into something else. Like `I love when you do that.' But because I stopped mid word if I change it now he'll know. I'm just not ready to be that vulnerable to him.

"H?" He pulls back to look me in the eye.

"Tim. I…uh…I…" I falter and turn my head away.

"I love you, Horatio Caine." He finally says it out loud. I can't believe he just said that. "H, I…"

"No, Tim, don't ever be sorry or try to apologize for how you feel. Just because I'm not ready to say it, doesn't mean you're not."

"Then you know." A statement, not a question.

"I hear you say it all the time. You might think I'm not paying attention or I'm sleeping, but that's what I want you to think." I shift so that I'm sitting up and eye level with him. "The first time, I thought I was hearing things. You'd said it so softly. But you said it again the next night and I started to pretend I wasn't listening or was sleeping so I could hear it again. I feel better knowing you love me."

"H?" he says as he shakes his head.

"It's okay. I knew before I even heard the words come out of your mouth. It's in the way you touch me, the way you look at me when Ienter you. But mostly it's in the way you say my name as you climax."

I can see his eyes fill with tears he refuses to shed as he grabs my head with both hands and tries to remove my tonsils with his tongue.

"Speed," I pull back to gulp some much-needed air and to try to get him under control. "Go slow. We have all night." I give him the smile that the victims get. The `I'm here for you if you ever need anything' look. And it works with him just like it works with the victims.

He leans back in and captures my lips with his. The kiss starts out slow, but then gets deeper, more desperate. I can feel his stubble rubbing against my cheek as he kisses his way back to my ear, where he continues to nibble on the lobe and lavish attention on the delicate outer shell. Then he kisses his way down to my shoulder to deepen the mark he placed there earlier. I hiss at the pain of his teeth breaking the skin.

"Good thing that stays covered. I really don't want to have to explain why I've got a bite mark on my shoulder."

"Mmmm," is all he says to that.

Once the mark is as deep as he wants it, he begins kiss and lick his way across my shoulder to the hollow where my collarbones meet. He dips his tongue there just like I do to his navel and presses his lips to the pulse jumping there. He leaves another mark, this one without the teeth, and continues his exploration of my body. As he kisses his way across my upper chest, one hand finds a nipple and begins to tease it to attention.

"God, Speed. The things you make me feel. Those hands of yours should be illegal," I gasp as he finally takes my right nipple into his mouth and starts to suckle.

His hands, his *illegal* hands, are on the move. Stroking and teasing everywhere he can reach. Everywhere except where I want, need, his touch the most. My dick. "Speed!" I'm frantic now. Just the way I usually have him. I've been teaching him how to please me by using his body as an example. Now I guess he's going to show me what he's learned.

He kisses, nibbles, sucks, and licks his way down my left thigh. He looks up at me through his eyelashes. As we gaze at each other and our eyes meet, I let him know without a doubt that I love him every bit as much as he loves me. Like I said to him, it's in the little things. The way I touch him, even at work, the way I look at him as I enter his body, and most importantly, the way I say his name. It doesn't even have to be in bed, I put everything I feel, but can't say, into his name.

As he runs his fingers up the side of my dick, I hold my breath. He knows what I want, need, him to do and he'll do it. When he's done teasing me. I get treated to the same torture I've given him each and every time I've done this to him. A soft stroke with just the fingertips up one side and just a little more pressure down the other. Then he grabs the base and gives it a squeeze, which makes me whimper in need. "Not yet, baby," he reminds me. "I'm in charge tonight."

"Speed." His name is both a curse and a plea on my lips.

He just chuckles as he strokes his fist lightly up the shaft to the head where he rubs the palm of his hand in tiny circles, making me hiss in pain/pleasure. He's never been able to make me this needy before. This must be how he feels when I bring him to the brink over and over before allowing him to climax.

He continues to lightly stroke me as he watches my face. He waits until I bite my lip drawing blood. Once I've done that, he leans up and licks it off. "Mmm. Horatio Caine. My favorite drug," he murmurs in my ear as he increases both the pace and tightness of his hand on my dick. I stiffen in response to being called a drug.

As I feel my climax drawing ever closer, he leans down and takes me into his mouth.

"Shit, Speed!" I cry out as he swallows me whole. "Easy, baby. Maybe a little warning next time?" He just looks at me through his eyelashes as he continues to suck on my dick. I grab fistfuls of his hair and start to fuck his mouth with the same intensity as I fuck his ass. "I'm gonna come now Speed!" I warn just as I feel my balls tighten up in their sacks. He pulls back until just the head of my dick is in his mouth and starts to swallow just before the first of my liquid hits his tongue. He sucks me dry and continues to hold my dick in his mouth until it's soft and then allows it to fall out with a soft `pop'.

"Mmm. Yummy. Now I know why you love doing that so much," he says as he crawls up my body to share his pillow.

"No. I love to do that because it's the only part of you you'll allow me to take into my body." I can't believe he's just going to by-pass the fact that he called me his drug of choice. I. AM. NOT. ANYONE'S. DRUG. Not even Timothy Speedle's. And I love him with all my heart and soul.

"I couldn't get you off, H! Please let's not argue about that again. Okay?"

"No," I say in a clipped voice as I sit up, dislodging him from my side. He knows this voice. It's the one that Stetler usually gets. Eric and Calleigh call it my `I really can't stand you, but I have to be polite to you' voice. Only this time, it has a touch of hurt and anger in it. "We need to discuss this, Timothy." I use his full name on purpose. He needs to know he crossed a line. He's Speed when I'm happy, horny, or about to come; Tim when I'm being serious or getting angry and Timothy when I'm beyond pissed. When I reach the point where I'm using his full name, he'd better do his best to make things right.

The last time I called him Timothy was before we were together on Dispo Day. Right after I found out that he wasn't cleaning his gun.

"Please, Horatio. Not now."

"Then when?" I demand as he get out of bed to pace the room like a caged tiger. "We've been together almost a month now, Tim. When are we going to discuss this?"

"Discuss what exactly? I thought this was about the fact that I don't want to top you." I hear him get out of the bed and approach where I'm standing staring out at the ocean.

"It is."

"Liar."

I turn around so fast I almost hit him. I didn't realize how close he was. "What did you just say?" My eyes narrow on his face.

"Um…"

"Don't even think of lying to me, Speedle." I've never called him that before. He's really crossed the line this time. The last man to call me a liar barely made it to the hospital, where he was in a coma for three weeks.

"I called you a liar. We both know this is no longer about the fact that I wasn't able to make you come when I topped last week. So why don't you just tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."

Part Three: Horatio's POV

"There's nothing you can do to help," I say as I turn around to face the window again.

"Horatio? Please talk to me. Don't shut me out," he pleads as I stalk to the bathroom.

"I'll thank you to lock the door on your way out," I say as I refrain from slamming the door. Just barely. I can hear his choked sobs. I can't stand to hear the pain I've caused him, so I walk over to the sink, where just thirty minutes ago I fucked his brains out, and turn on the tap in order to drown him out.

Twenty minutes later, I leave the bathroom and strip the sheets from the bed. I can't decide whether or not to throw them away, so I just stash them in the back of the closet to deal with later. Maybe when I'm not hurting so much myself. How am I going to work beside him every day, knowing the pain I've caused him with my words and actions?

As I remake the bed, my cell phone rings. Speed's been gone for almost an hour now. I know instinctively that it's him. I don't answer. I want him to leave a voice message. I'm going to need something to listen to on the long, cold, lonely nights to come.

Several minutes later, my phone beeps to let me know he's finished leaving his message. I force myself to wait several more agonizing minutes before listening to it.

My hands shake as I pick up the phone to listen to the last message I'm ever going to receive from him. `H,' he clears his throat. I can tell he's trying to keep from crying and I'm struck with a wave of guilt for the pain I've caused him. `I haven't slept in close to two days. I doubt I'm going to get any sleep tonight. My shift, as you know, starts in less than four hours. I'm taking a personal day, because I won't be able to do my job this way. I'm not avoiding you. Really I'm not. I just don't think I will be able to concentrate on the job.' He pauses and just when I think he's done and is about to hang up, he continues, `Whatever I did to make you angry, I'm sorry.' The words are the barest of whispers. I barely hear them before he sobs, `I still love you, Horatio.' Then he hangs up.

I shut my phone with a snap and collapse on the bed, my body shaking with my heart breaking sobs. I've just destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me. All because he was honest about his addiction to me. I know that I should never have started this relationship in the first place. He deserves so much more than I can ever give him. He is all that is pure and good and I am nothing but darkness and evil. If he knew the things I've done, he would hate me as much as he thinks he loves me now.

Somehow I manage to fall asleep and I feel even worse when I wake up to my alarm. It's another day. The first without Speed. If I'd just kept my hands off him I wouldn't now know what I'm losing and will spend the rest of my days missing.

It's a good thing that people are used to seeing me wear my sunglasses inside. I'm hiding behind them because I'm just not ready to try and come up with an explanation for my red and swollen eyes. And I can't seem to find the energy to care.

"Horatio."

"Yelina," I turn to face my sister-in-law.

"What's wrong, Horatio?" she asks.

"Nothing. Why?"

"You just seem…distracted…today." Yeah. And every other day for the past three weeks. "Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Yelina. Just haven't been sleeping well is all." Which is so true. How anyone can even think of sleeping when they have Tim Speedle in their bed is beyond me. Of course, now that he is no longer in my bed I will not be sleeping for a completely different reason. But, she doesn't need to know that. "Is there something I can do for you?" I ask hoping she'll drop the subject.

"Yes. Ray Jr. wants you to come to lunch on Sunday. He misses you." I haven't been to Sunday dinner since I first took Tim to my bed. "You can bring Speed if you want."

I blink. Did I just miss something? "Why would I bring Speed to Sunday dinner with the family?"

"Aren't you and he…?" she blushes slightly.

"Aren't he and I…what?" this is getting embarrassing.

"A couple? I could have sworn the two of you were dating. You seem awfully protective of him lately."

"No we are not a couple. I'm protective of all my CSI's."

"Yes you are. But, it's…I don't know…different with Speed. Almost like how Raymond was with me."

"I can assure you that Tim Speedle and I are not seeing each other." The truth. We are not together anymore.

"That's too bad. The two of you would make such a cute couple. He's good for you, even if the two of you are just friends," I don't think we're even that anymore. "He really grounds you, doesn't he? Makes you open your heart again?"

"Hm," I reply noncommittally. I refuse to continue to discuss Tim Speedle and our relationship, or lack there of, with her. "I'll be there, Sunday. Noon?"

"Make it nine and attend Mass with us."

"You know the church and I don't get along. I'll see the two of you at noon. Your place?"

"Of course," she replies with a small smile. I know she's trying to figure out just how much of the truth I really told her just now about Tim. And then it hits me. If she thinks Tim and I are together, then Alexx…

"I have to go," I say as I start to back away towards my office.

I manage to make it to my office without running into anyone else. I'm hoping Speed hasn't, and won't, call Alexx about this. I really do not want to have to deal with an irate M.E. If people think I'm protective of Tim Speedle, then they don't know Alexx. You would think he was her flesh and blood son, the way she coddles him. I heard she adopted him the moment she first laid eyes on him. You don't ever want to see her coming at you after you've hurt her precious Timmy.

"Horatio," I jump a foot in the air at the sound of her voice.

"Alexx. What…what are you doing here?" I stutter. Just shows how distracted I am. I don't usually allow someone to see how they've affected me.

"I was wondering if you've seen Tim?" she asks as she approaches where I'm slumped against the door.

"No I haven't," not since last night, when I threw him out. "Why?"

"He's not answering his phone. Eric says he's got a lead on the case they're working on."

"He called me this morning and said he's taking a personal day." Bad move. Telling her that. Tim never takes time off. Not unless he's dying.

"Why?" She knows him better than anyone, himself included.

"Don't know," I reply as I step around her to walk to my desk. "I didn't speak with him. Was in the shower, he left a message."

I swallow hard on the word `shower'. Just thinking about him hurts. One of the last times he was in this office, I fucked his brains out on my desk.

His parents had been visiting and I gave him the weekend off. Three whole days and nights without him. I thought I was going to die. He did call each night after his parents had fallen asleep. We had some great phone sex. But that wasn't enough, as evidenced by how roughly I took him when I saw him again.

His parents took an early flight back to New York and he came waltzing into the lab at his usual time, looking for all the world like a Celtic god. The boy just oozed sex that day. Green is definitely his color. Dark emerald green. I was looking down into the lab when he glanced up. Our eyes meet and then he was at the door. Closing and locking it.

"Close the blinds, H," he growled. "I can't wait."

"Neither can I," I said as I closed the blinds and proceeded to rip his clothes from his body. I accidentally tore his shirt in the process.

"Damn, H. Slow down."

"No. I need you now."

He just chuckled and finished undressing. Once he was naked I made room on the edge of my desk for him to sit.

"I can't be gentle or go slow," I told him as he pulled himself up onto the desk and spread his legs for me.

"Then don't be. I'm ready for you. Take me."

And he was. He'd prepped himself before coming into work. God just knowing that he'd done this, hoping that I'd want him so much I wouldn't be able to wait, almost pushed me over the edge.

"Damn, baby. Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

His eyes and smirk said he did.

The sex was fast and hard. We'd both been without for too long for it to be anything else.

"Horatio?" her tone suggests she's said it several times.

"Hm? Oh Alexx. Did you say something?" I ask as I'm pulled from my musings on the joys of sex with Timothy Speedle.

"Yes. I asked if I could hear his message. I may be able to figure out what's up. Sometimes it's more in how he says something than in what he says." She holds out her hand, fully expecting me to hand over my phone. Not bloody likely.

"I already erased it." Lie. I can't let her know. I feel bad enough as it is.

"What have you done to that boy, Horatio Caine?" I did say that she's a force to reckon with when it comes to Tim, didn't I?

"Nothing," I have to clear my throat several times. "He just said he needed a day to get some stuff done."

"You broke his heart, didn't you?" her eyes narrow on my face. I really feel for her kids. I hope they never have to look her in the eye and lie.

"I really don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me Horatio. I know the two of you have been sleeping together for the past three weeks. He couldn't sit down when he came to brunch last month. Nor could he keep the shit eating grin off his face."

Her glare was getting darker by the minute.

"Alright. We were…having sex. But that's all it was. It's over now. And he's better off without me."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Her tone says `dumb ass', but she's too much of a lady to say it to my face. "I know you're not that big an idiot. You're just what that boy needs in his life and he's the same for you. Dumb ass." Guess I was wrong about her being too much of a lady to say it. "Now tell me what happened."

"Alexx, please. Just drop it. It's over and it's best for all involved if he just moves on."

"`Best for all involved'? What the hell kind of crap is that?" She gets right in my face. I am starting to become afraid for my personal safety. Not that she'd seriously hurt me, but she can very well make it difficult to walk normally for a while. "How is he supposed to `move on' while working here with you every day? Are you going to fire him?"

"Of course not!" I can't believe she even thinks that. "I'd never do that. I broke it off, Alexx…"

"Yeah. I got that. He's been in love with you longer than either one of you thinks and you're not the type to resort to sexual harassment to get what you want. So how is this going to play out?" She taps her foot. She has her arms crossed over her chest and is giving me The Look. I had better give her the answer she wants.

"I don't know," I say on a sigh. And that's the first completely true thing I've said all morning.

Part four: Speed's POV

"What did I do wrong?" I think as I pace my small apartment wondering why Horatio suddenly turned on me. "Come on think Speed - don't screw up the only thing that is right in your life." I always manage to screw things up.

I try to sleep, but can't. Too many thoughts, too many emotions...everything is beginning to get jumbled. I can't think.

Doesn't he understand I need him? He soothes the demons… the addiction that long sleeves cover in the summer; the one I developed after I got clean. The drugs nearly killed me, cutting helps remind me I'm still alive. When I'm with him I can let go and know I'll be caught.

It's been two weeks since I pissed him off. For two weeks I have managed to refrain from cutting myself. The case today brings it all back. A young girl. Looks like someone I used to know. OD. No family, no friends. Track marks up and down both arms.

I go home to my rat hole of an apartment and stare at the razor. I can feel the blade slice into my skin before I even touch it. I pick it up and sit down on the floor. Just one small cut, I promise myself. Just one, then I'll stop.

The sharp pain is soothing as the tears flow down my cheeks and the blood flows down my arm. I can't stop at just one. I never could. I feel the exhaustion set in. My eyes droop and I fall into darkness.

I wake with a jolt - my dreams filled with accusations, cold blue eyes, and blood. I pull myself off the bathroom floor and get cleaned up. The water stings, a reminder of the turn my life has taken. I bandage the wounds - dress in jeans and a long sleeve button down shirt and head to work.

And then, as if life couldn't get any worse, we get our next case. A young boy barely out of his teens - a suicide. Through the investigation we discover his lover had just died in a car accident. His parents refuse to believe it - their son isn't gay - their son would never commit suicide - their son isn't a freak.

I read the journal. My life flashes before me. Lost in pain - a salvation only to have it ripped away. I would have been that boy except I was found in time. I still could be that boy. Because as I look up from the journal I see my salvation and he's walking away from me.

Part five: Horatio's POV

I look down on the trace lab from my office. I can sit up here for hours watching him - wanting him. My heart hurts knowing I've hurt him. He looks up at me with soulful brown eyes and it takes everything in me to turn away. I'm doing it for him - doesn't he see that? I'll just hurt him more in the end. I'm too intense, I want too much from my partners, they always leave tainted by me. I can't be his addiction. I won't destroy him like the others.

The case is rough on him I can tell. I watch without being seen. I see the tears in his eyes as he reads the journal. He gives me a brief overview - a broken heart. My own heart contracts from the look in his eyes. I turn and walk away.

He hasn't said anything for which I'm thankful. He's professional and hasn't let it affect his work. I look back down at the lab; it's the only way I can watch him freely. He looks tired and thinner than the last time I saw him, the night I threw him out, two weeks ago. I turn back to my paper work. Alexx, Calleigh and even Eric have come to me concerned about him. I tell them his work is fine, that I don't have time to deal with Speed's personal issues. I honestly thought one of them was going to hit me. I can't blame them.

A noise alerts me to someone in my office. I am a bit surprised that I didn't hear him come in, but then again sleep has eluded me these past weeks. He stands there holding out a file folder. I reach up to take it when something catches my eye.

The cuffs on his shirt are undone and they fall open to reveal the hidden secret. I can see the fresh bandages; see the blood stains on the starched white gauze. I grab his wrist as I stand.

"What the hell is this?" I pull back the sleeve.

He looks at me. "My punishment."

"For what?" I demand scared out of my mind that Speed is going down this path.

"For hurting you." His voice is quiet. "For doing something so awful that you can't even look at me."

His words floor me. "Speed…" I say his name on a sob.

"Please, Horatio. Just let it go. I was just fine before you took me to your bed and I'll be just fine now that you've grown tired of me." And with that he walks out of my office.

A few days later we got a really…odd…case. A porn star killed by a frat boy who couldn't get it up with his girlfriend anymore.

When I see him talking to the friend of the victim I just snap. If he isn't in my bed then he sure as hell isn't going to be getting into hers.

"Speedle!" I bellow at him as soon as the elevator doors close on the little slut. "My office, now!" My tone leaves no room for argument and I turn on my heel, fully expecting him to follow.

"What is it Horatio?" I'm no longer `H' with him. Every time he has to say my name it's `Horatio' and it's killing me.

"What the hell were you just doing, talking to a potential witness? You do realize you could have jeopardized the whole case?" I can't seem to keep from talking to him like he's two, instead of over 30 and a level III CSI.

"Yeah, Horatio. I know. I was…"

"If I find out that you've gone out with her, I'll have your badge," I talk over him. He still belongs to me. No one else. Just me. Yeah I know it's hypocritical of me, but I just can't seem to care. I can't have him and therefore no one else can either. "If you can't keep it in your pants, then maybe you should take a vacation. I was recently informed you haven't taken one since you've been here. You have six weeks. Starting tomorrow. That's an order."

"You want my badge that badly, you son of a bitch? Here. Here's my badge," the soft voice is worse than if he was yelling.

As he turns to walk out something hits me in the chest. I catch it instinctively and know as soon as it hits my hand that it's his badge. I can't believe he just quit.

"Tim!" I call after him as I hurry to catch up, but he's too fast for me. I hit the parking lot just as he kick starts his Ducati. I barely have time to get in the Hummer before he's out of sight. I follow him for a while, until I lose him in the late afternoon traffic.

"Damnit!" I yell as I hit the steering wheel with the palm of my hand and turn around to head back to the PD. I need to reevaluate this.

Part six: Speed's POV

My heart's pounding in my ears as I walk as fast as I can, without actually running, through the corridors of the PD.

I can't believe he yelled at me for talking to Cookie, no, Sara. I know she's off limits. I told her so. Not that I'd date her even if I could. I still love Horatio Caine. More fool me.

I really wanted to punch his lights out for ordering *ordering!* me to take a vacation. He should just get over himself. I plan to.

As I reach the Ducati, it hits me. What I said to him, what I did. I threw my badge at him. Quit my job. Of course I can afford to not work for a while, but eventually I'll need another one. And this one was one of the best I've ever had.

The shock starts to wear off and I know that the aftermath is going to be worse than the night he threw me out. I'm going to need more than a few measly cuts on my arms to numb this pain.

I kick-start my bike and head out to an area of Miami I haven't been to in over ten years. This is the only way to stop the memories of heat filled blue eyes and skillful hands.

The house looks the same as it did the last time I was here. But I expected it to. Nothing really changes on this side of town.

As I roll to a stop in the front yard, two evil looking men step out on to the porch. I don't recognize them, they must be new. I know better than to move until Marcus comes out to see who has arrived.

"Speed?" Marcus squints at me in the late afternoon sunlight. "That you?"

"Yeah." I reply.

"Whatcha doin' here?"

"I need something to help me forget." A code. He told me when I left that if I ever needed to come back, to just say those words and he'd know I wasn't there as a cop.

"Yeah? Whatcha tryin' ta forget?"

"Does it matter?"

"Nope. He's good, boys," he turns to the goons and nods in my direction.

They just grunt and precede us into the house.

"Speedy!" My name is called by a very beautiful blonde. Amanda. I haven't thought of her in years. She's the one that the young OD victim from a few days ago reminds me of. She's also one of the reasons I decided to get clean. Eleven years ago, she got pregnant and then miscarried after ODing.

"Amanda," I say as she hugs me. "Why are you still here?" I whisper in her ear. We'd planned to leave together, it was my child she miscarried. But Marcus stopped her from leaving. She promised me that she'd find a way to leave.

"Marcus," she answers as if that one word explains it all. And it does. Marcus is her brother. He's supported her for years. Started her habit as well. "I've got some really good shit for ya to try. Ya up for it?" she asks as she walks backwards pulling me by the hand towards the couches. She licks her lips and gazes at me through her eyelashes, just like I did Horatio that last night. `Stop thinking about that son of a bitch right now, Speedle!' I order myself as I allow Amanda to settle me between her legs, my back pressed to her ample chest.

"Yeah. Help me forget," I murmur as she ties off a vein and preps the needle to give me my first taste of the drug that gave me my nickname in over ten years.

The following seven days pass in a blur of sex and drugs. Just like old times.

I can't sleep, can't eat, and can't stop thinking about a certain redheaded MDPD lieutenant. I eventually pass out from sheer exhaustion and wake up some time later covered in naked female bodies.

I'm sure I don't want to know what happened these past seven days.

My phone rings as I start the slow process of pulling myself out from under the tangle of arms and legs.

Just as I reach my phone, it stops ringing. Of course.

It's my mom. I wait to see if she'll leave a message and notice that she's called me several times in the past week. Damn. Shouldn't have come here. Always forget that there are some people in this world who still care about me.

It beeps to let me know there's a message waiting and I listen to what my mother has to say. `Timothy, where the hell are you! It's been a week and someone from the lab said you'd quit! Call me NOW and let me know you're still alive! I mean it, Timothy Michael Speedle! I want to hear from you within the hour or your father and I are coming to Miami to drag you home!' And with that she hangs up.

"Speed?" a sleepy voice calls from the direction of the pile of strung out bodies.

"Amanda," I call softly. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"Ya didn't," she says as she pushes several body parts out of her way and stands up to approach where I'm standing holding my clothes. "Goin' somewhere?"

"Yeah. Home," I reply as I start to get dressed.

"Home's overrated," she smirks. "Ya know ya don' really wanna leave. Ya wouldn't have come here if ya didn' wanna be one of us again."

"Amanda, stop. This is not who I am any more. The high didn't make me feel any better. It just made me feel worse. I can live without that junk and so can you, if you'll just try." I reach into my pants pocket and pull out some money. "I don't know how much is there, but take it and leave. Now, today. Just get dressed and go. Don't take anything else with you." I place the bills in her hand and close her fingers around them.

"Tim. I can't leave."

"Why not? What's he got on you?"

"My son. He's got my son."

"What? When did you have a kid?"

"Two years ago."

"I know someone who can help," I say as I open my wallet and pull out a card. "Call them. Tell them I referred you. They'll help. Just make sure you say my name before you ask for assistance. Okay?"

"They'll help me get my son back?"

"Yes. If you can stay clean. Can you do that, for your son?"

"Yes. I can."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

I kiss her cheek before leaving. I'm going home. Home to Horatio.

I pull up to his house and find his Hummer in the drive. `That's odd,' I think. `He should be at work.' I didn't want to confront him at the PD. So I chose his house. I have a key. I would have used it if he'd been at work.

No one answers my knocks and he's not answering his phone. I refuse to leave a message. I need to see his face when I tell him that he can't push me away anymore.

That's when I remember that my mom threatened to come to Miami and drag me back to New York by my hair if I didn't call her back.

"Mom," I say when she answers her phone. "I need you…"

"My God, Timothy! Where the hell have you been?" she interrupts. "We've all been frantic. Your friends at the lab said they'd looked everywhere for you." Obviously not or they would have found me breaking the law and the number one rule in Horatio Caine's book. "Come home. Please. Let me take care of you."

"Okay," I sigh as I realize that fighting her on this will only prolong the agony. "I'll come back to New York. But just for a while. I still don't want to work for Dad."

"That's fine. You don't have to. Just let us take care of you. You know we love you, right?"

"Yeah. I love you too." The tears start to fall as we hang up. The last time she asked to take care of me had been right after I confessed to being addicted to speed. She just took me in her arms and rocked me like I was a little boy and almost begged me to allow her to take care of me while I detoxed. It had been a long painful journey back to the little boy she raised. But with her and my dad's help, I made it.

I take my time driving to Syracuse. I have no reason to hurry. Of course the fact that I really want to be in Miami in Horatio's arms has absolutely nothing to do with it. Yeah, right and the sky's green.

I finally pull up in front of the restaurant where my mom and dad can usually be found these days.

"Timothy!" my mom calls as I walk in the door and approach where she's standing behind the counter.

"Mom," I respond as someone on the other side of the room drops a plate.

"Be careful!" My dad calls out. "That's coming out of your pay," he says with a chuckle. Must be my brother, Joshua.

"About time you got here. We hired a new bus boy." No one can accuse my mom of being able to hold on to one subject for long.

"Really?" I ask as I wonder just why it's important for me to know this information.

"Yep. I think you'll like him. Want to meet him?"

"Mom, let the boy work, will ya?" I sit down on a stool as she pours me a cup of her famous coffee.

"It's almost time for his lunch. Oh, here he comes now," she smiles at someone over my head. I resist the urge to turn around and take sip of my coffee.

"Will there be anything else before I go to lunch, Mrs. Speedle?" I know that voice. I hear it every second of every day, awake, asleep, it didn't matter. It haunts my every moment.

"No, Horatio, that's all. And I do believe I told you to call me Irene, didn't I?" The smile she bestows on him says she's already accepted him into the family. Did he tell them about us? "Timmy, aren't you going to say hi?" I get The Look. The one that all mothers seem to know how to give.

I swallow past the lump in my throat and turn to face my ex-lover and ex-boss.

"H." I really don't know what else to say.

"Speed." He seems at a loss as well.

"Well, why don't the two of you go grab something to eat and talk, hmm?" Who would have thought my mother would play matchmaker for me? Certainly not me.

"Speed?"

"Yeah, okay."

We exit the building and approach the Ducati.

"You know how to not fall off, right?" I ask as I mount the bike and rock it level.

"Yeah. Ya hold on." There's a gleam in his eyes that I haven't seen in over a month. That's how long it's been since he kicked me out of his bed and his life. "Do I need to fear for my life?" he asks as he mounts the bike behind me.

"No. I do know how to drive the speed limit."

"Really? Then why don't you do it more often?" Has he been peeking at my record? I know I have several speeding tickets, but they're all several years old.

"Maybe I don't like to go slow," I respond, thinking about our first night together. We definitely didn't go slow that night.

"Yeah, I know." Smirk.

Did you know you can actually hear someone smirk? I didn't, until Horatio did it where I couldn't see.

I take the short way to my parents' house. Driving the speed limit the whole way.

"I can't believe my parents have you busing their tables!" I wait as long as I can to say this. We're almost there and I don't think I'll be allowed to say much once we're there.

"I asked to help. You know I hate to feel useless. I was just sitting around their house…"

"What? You're staying at their house?" We arrive just as he drops hat little bombshell. Thank goodness. I'm so startled I'm sure I would have crashed.

"When I showed up at their restaurant, they insisted. Well, actually, just your mom insisted. Your dad didn't seem to care."

"What did you tell them about us?"

"Not what you're thinking, I'm sure."

"Really? Just what do you think I'm thinking?" I ask as I set the kickstand and get off the bike.

"Look, all I told them was that I'm your lieutenant and am worried about you. You stalked off after a misunderstanding after a case..."

"Misunderstanding?" I interrupt. "You threatened my job if I went out with her."

"I was jealous. So sue me." He gives a half shrug.

"Jealous? Really? Just how is that possible? You threw my ass out of your house so fast my head's still spinning!" I really do not want to get into this in the front yard, so I walk up to the door and enter the house, Horatio right behind me.

"I made a mistake. I'm sorry."

"Not good enough, H. I need a hell of a lot more than `I'm sorry'. But ya know what? I don't need it right now. Right now I need you… in me." This has the desired effect of making him grab my shirtfront to pull me towards him. Our teeth knock together as we fight for dominance, our tongues dueling, snaking in and out of each other's mouths.

"Shit, Speed. I was so afraid. Afraid I'd fucked up big time," he says as we break apart to drag some much-needed air into our lungs.

"Yeah, ya almost did. Now no more talking," I reply as I pull him in for another long heated kiss. "Upstairs, now."

As we make our way up the stairs to my old bedroom, which is where he's been sleeping, we unbutton, untuck, and unbuckle everything we can. "Can't leave a trail," I warn as he starts to remove my shirt before we're in my room.

"Right."

Once we're behind a closed door though, everything is thrown aside in the frantic need to touch skin to skin. It's better than I remember. His hands are everywhere and I swear there are more than two of them. He strokes and pinches and teases all the right spots.

"Don't want to go too fast," I say as he backs me towards the bed. "Don't want it to be over before it's begun."

"Oh, don't worry, baby, it won't be," he replies as he pushes me onto the bed and falls on top of me. I can't bite back the moan of pure pleasure as his weight presses me into the mattress.

"Fuck me, Horatio. Fuck me through this mattress, now." I don't care that I'm begging.

"Are you giving me an order, Detective?"

"Absolutely, Lieutenant. Now FUCK ME!"

"Shhh, Speed. Baby, it's alright. We got all the time in the world," he purrs as he fumbles with the bedside drawer. I whimper as he pulls out a tube of KY and squirts some on his fingers. "No on your back," he says as I start to roll over. My favorite position is on my back, so I can look him in the eye while he fucks me. He usually wants me on my hands and knees. "I want to look at you."

I clutch the sheet with both hands as his talented fingers prepare me to take him into my body. He doesn't take long, neither one of us can last much longer.

"Now, H. Please." I'm practically crying. I feel like it's been forever since we've been together like this. "I need you. I love you." The words become a mantra. I say them over and over.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he removes his fingers and places the head of his penis at my entrance.

I bite back a gasp of pain as he breaches me. He didn't take long enough to keep it from hurting like a bitch. But the pain soon gives way to pleasure. All too soon and yet not soon enough he's buried to the balls in my ass.

"God, baby. How I've missed you," he whispers as I wrap my legs around his waist.

"Please, Horatio. More. I need more." I am crying now. I thought I'd never be here again. He was so very angry with me for so very long.

He leans down to kiss me and then begins to slowly thrust in and out. He takes his time. Angling every other thrust to stroke my prostrate. After a dozen or so thrusts, he changes speed, depth and the angle. He's teasing us both, trying to prolong this.

"I don't think I can hold out much longer!" I gasp as he rises up on his knees and pulls my legs over his shoulders. He begins to really pound into me hitting my prostrate each and every time.

"Stroke yourself, baby," he instructs.

He loves to watch me touch myself. I grab my dick and start to stroke myself in counterpoint to his thrusts. After only a few minutes I feel my orgasm approaching and speed up my strokes, which makes him thrust faster. We both come with ear splitting shouts. Thank God the neighbours aren't home.

"My God Speed," he gasps as he collapses on top of me.

"Mmmm," is my intelligent reply. I haven't slept in close to twenty-four hours and it's starting to catch up with me. I can barely keep my eyes open.

"Come home with me, Speed. Come back to Miami." Whispers in the dark of the room as I fall asleep. I think it's time I went home.

A/N: This is the beginning of the end of this. It's kind of long and so is broken up into several smaller parts. There are huge spoilers for Lost Son and by huge I mean I've quoted almost the entire script word for word only with a few extra lines thrown in to explain things that happened 'off camera'. Also a small spoiler for Innocent. As always huge thanks go to K for being my beta. You are a godsend, K.

Part seven: Horatio's POV

As I exit the bathroom, I am once again struck by the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. The man I love sprawled, naked, in my bed.

Tim is lying on his stomach, one arm out flung, the other curled under his pillow. The sheet has fallen to reveal the curve of one perfect ass cheek. I must be in love if I can stand here and wax poetic about this beautiful creature.

Just a few weeks ago, I didn't think he'd ever be here again. I got angry about some stupid little thing and pushed him away. We tried to work together for a few weeks, and then I couldn't stand it anymore. I forced him to go on vacation. He ran home to his parents. Although, in retrospect, I shouldn't say he ran.

It was after the case with the porn star who was killed by a frat boy because he couldn't get it up with his girlfriend anymore.

I saw Tim talking to the victim's friend and got jealous. She was young and passably pretty. Just the kind of girl he usually went for. I called him into my office and threatened his job if he went out with her and then ordered him to take vacation. I was stunned when he threw his badge at me and stormed off. I tried to follow, but lost him in traffic. I had a pretty good idea where he was going, but couldn't make myself follow him there. If he needed to lose himself that way, who was I to try and stop him?

So, I flew to New York the next day and went to his parents' restaurant to wait for him. It took him two weeks to show up. He certainly took his time getting there. When his mother couldn't get hold of him, I called in some favors and had vice keep an eye on him. He got lost in the pain and drugs for a week. Then he made his way to New York. And boy was he surprised to find me installed in his parents' house, in his old bedroom, no less. His mother took one look at me and knew I was there because I love him. She gave me the same speech Alexx did. Break his heart again and she'll break something of mine.

We made up, sort of. I still haven't told him why I panicked and got angry that night. And he hasn't asked me. I will tell him, soon. Maybe after I wake him up the way he loves me to.

I walk over to the bed and, ever so lightly, run the fingers of one hand up over the curve of his ass. I know he's not really asleep. He tries so hard not to squirm under my touch. Really, he does try. He does not succeed, though. He can never seem to stay still when I touch him. He is so very responsive to my every touch.

I stand just close enough to the bed that all he can do is brush the very tips of his fingers against my thigh without moving.

"Horatio?" he mumbles sleepily.

"Hm?" I respond.

"Get back in…" His words are interrupted by my phone ringing.

"What the hell?" I mumble as I walk around the bed to pick up my phone. "I've got to go. It's all hands on deck," I say just as his phone also rings.

"What the fuck? I'm on vacation!" he exclaims after seeing the code on the phone's viewscreen.

"Not anymore you're not." I try to keep a straight face. He's been back in Miami, and my bed, for only three days. "It's a good thing you came home when you did," I reply as I walk into the bathroom to take a shower.

"Fuck you," I hear him mumble as I turn on the water.

"I wish you would," I whisper. That's still a bone of contention between us. The fact that he won't, or can't, top me. I swear I'm going to get him to try at least one more time if it's the last thing I do.

"Gentlemen, thank you for cutting your vacation short," I say as Eric and Tim approach where I'm standing on the bridge.

"No problem. So this boat slams into a bridge. Is that a crime scene?" Tim asks as he takes a look around. Looking everywhere but at me, I notice. Wonder what that's about? He was in a good mood when I left him at my place this morning. I also notice he's wearing one of my shirts.

"Witnesses say that the boat was aiming at the bridge," I respond as I put my sunglasses on again.

"All right, we'll go grab our stuff," Eric replies as they both turn and walk away.

"The boat was on autopilot," I say as Yelina joins me on the boat.

"Yacht was reported stolen out of a marina an hour ago."

"Did you find the driver?" I ask as I start to climb down the stairs.

"Found someone. Only soul on board. Italian suit--street shoes," She replies as I walk toward her and the dead body. "Not the kind of thing that you'd wear for a day on the Intercoastal."

"Hmm." I bend down towards the body and point at the victim's left temple. "And that's stippling right here, which means he was shot at close range." I stand up and walk towards the side of the boat. "Shooter went overboard right here. See the foot prints?"

"We've put frogmen in the water. Nothing so far."

"You shoot a man, you jump ship, and then you crash a bridge. That couldn't of been the original plan, right?"

"Mm. It would attract too much attention," she agrees.

"It certainly would."

"No exit ramp for our well-dressed man. I'll extract the bullet at the post," Alexx informs me.

"Get an I.D. yet, Alexx?" I ask as she reaches into the man's pocket to pull out his wallet.

"Reed Williams, age 51." She hands me his wallet. "Bel Harbor. That explains the expensive suit."

"Got a casing: .22." Calleigh says holding the casing up for me to see.

"I'm going to go see what Mr. Williams was into, ladies. Thank you," I say as I walk away.

"Miami-Dade Police," Yelina says to the woman who opens the door to the Williams' home.

"Did you find my son? Reed went out to get our son back," she says.

"Get your son back from who, ma'am?" I ask.

"We don't know. They called, they said they had Joey, asked for a ransom. Reed went out to pay them almost three hours ago. I haven't heard a word since." She looks from Yelina to me and back again.

"Was he supposed to meet these people on a boat?" I ask.

"Yeah, Slip 29, like they said. Where is my husband?" She's starting to sound worried.

"Mrs. Williams, I'm …um, very sorry to inform you that your husband has been killed." Yelina tries to comfort her.

"Oh, no."

"This is Joey," Mrs. Williams says as she hands me a picture of a little boy. "And I wrote down everything that they said." She then hands me a notepad.

"Please lay that on the table." I wait until she does so. "Thank you. 3 million dollars in jewels. Did these people know that you had these jewels?"

"We're in the paper a lot, you know; events, fundraisers…"

"Did your husband take the jewels and go to meet these people?" I ask.

"To pay for Joey. They haven't called. There hasn't been a second call. Why would they take the jewelry and not give us Joey?" She is starting to get hysterical.

"Hang on. Lets go back to the beginning. Where was Joey taken from?"

"From martial arts class. It happened about four hours ago."

"We'll need the address and this photo of Joey. We'll also need your DNA as a reference, in case he's-um…" Yelina falters as she tries to be discreet in asking for identification in case he's dead.

"He's dead. I know."

"Let's not go there yet," I say.

"Why don't you show me to Joey's room?"

"Yeah. It's…right this way."

As Yelina and Mrs. Williams walk away, I pull out my phone to call Tim to see how things are going on his end.

"Speed, how's it going? I noticed you seemed a little…jumpy... earlier on the bridge."

"Yeah. Remember, no one knows that you and I are together. Had to make them think I'm still pissed at you for ordering me to take vacation."

"Right. Sorry. Hey, are you wearing my shirt?"

"Yeah. It looks better on me than it does on you," he chuckles. "So… Frogmen didn't turn anyone up. I did get some soil on the uh, point where the shooter went into the water. I don't know how instructive it's going to be." Eric must be within hearing distance, he changes the subject so quickly.

"I think we have a kidnapping situation here; a six year old boy."

"Who's our dead guy?"

"The boy's father. And I think the situation went south, so that mud might be our only connection to the suspect."

"I'm on it," he says with a sigh as we hang up.

"Kidnapping? Well, I-I thought it was a custody thing," Ken Timmons, Joey's karate teacher, says when we question him about Joey.

"What custody thing?" Yelina asks.

"Well these rich parents are always fighting over their kids. Divorce. You know, one will send the P.I. to swoop in, grab his kid after practice," Ken replies

"But you just said that Joey Williams never made it in for practice," I state as I move closer to him.

"I went out front. It was like, ten past eight. I saw a Mercedes S-Class trying to shut the door on the kid. I get close, then the guy just drives off." He's starting to sweat. I know he's lying, I just have to prove it.

"One man driving?" I move a little closer, make a suspect nervous enough and they will spill their guts just to get away from you.

"Well, as far as I can tell." He's getting there, just a little more and I will have him by the short hairs.

"Okay, show me exactly where this car was. Show me." I'm getting tired of this. I want to be at home wrapped up in Tim Speedle not here wrapped up in murder and kidnapping.

"The Mercedes was parked right here. Pulled out this way and made a left at the street." Ken shows us where the car was parked and points out towards the street.

"A 66-inch wheel base, Ken." I barely contain my growl as I measure the tread marks.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

"What it should mean to you is that you're lying, because the S-Class has a 62-inch wheel base and it means that it couldn't have been the abduction car. Kidnappers work in teams--are you in on this?"

"No."

"No? I need to find out what's going on here. If this kid gets killed you are all in. You understand?" I am really starting to like this guy for one of the kidnappers. I feel my control slipping.

"Okay, the guy gave me an envelope through a cracked window it was tinted," he reaches for his belt, pulls out an envelope and holds it out towards me. "I never saw his face."

"You basically got paid to look the other way," Yelina clarified.

"Like I said, I thought it was a custody thing."

"The envelope?" I ask as I hold out an evidence envelope for him to drop his into. "Now Ken, tell me what kind of a car it was and don't make me go down there and measure again." I get right in his face.

"It was like a Pontiac. Midsize…A Grand Prix maybe?" He's finally starting to get it. That I can be his best friend or his worse enemy before this is all over.

"All right, I'll put out a broadcast: 'stolen Grand Prix.'" Yelina states as she pulls out her phone to call dispatch.

"Stolen Grand Prix, all colors. They've had five hours to re-paint it."

"Eric." Eric and I are at the canal. There was a tip about the car in the area. I've noticed tread marks in the mud. I call Eric over to take a look.

"The right kind of tread for a Grand Prix," he confirms for me.

"That's right. The car went in right here. Okay. You're going in Eric."

"Nothing. No sign of the boy inside of the car and too much pressure to pop the trunk open." Eric sighs as he pulls himself out of the water several minutes later.

"Let's fish it out of there." I tell the crew.

Once the car is above the water and on land, Eric and I pop the trunk open.

"Take a look at that. Fingernail marks right there. Look at this. This is a long blond hair just like Joey's." I pick it up and place it in an evidence bag. "So they had him locked in here, Eric."

"It's good. If they were going to kill Joey, they would've left him in here."

"Makes the good news the bad news, doesn't it?" I sigh as I put on my sunglasses and turn to look at the water.

"How do you mean?" Eric asks.

"They still have him."

"Car belongs to a couple in Seaside. They reported it stolen two days ago," Yelina states as she approaches where Eric and I are standing next to the car with Calleigh.

"I'll process this at CSI. See if I can pull any prints." Calleigh offers.

"Okay, thank you Calleigh. You said there was another problem?" I ask Yelina.

"Mm-hmm. Department of Infrastructure wants jurisdiction over the boat. They're towing it out of the water right now."

"Okay, Eric, go back to the boat and inform DOI that our murder supercedes their bridge-failure, please." I really want to rip someone's throat out right about now.

"Okay, I'm on it."

"So kidnappers sank the car to hide it?" Yelina asks as we walk away.

"Yes they did. They attempted to destroy evidence, but they left us a calling card. Look at this." I point down at some shoeprints.

"Footprints."

"Joey put up a struggle."

"He was running. This way." I point off into to underbrush.

"This is where they grabbed him." I bend down and pick up part of a shoe. "Okay, have your officer alert the mother."

"Horatio?"

"I think they're gonna try and cash in a second time."

"I thought you'd want to know I ran the hairs you found in the car trunk. They're a match to Joey Williams." Valera catches me in the reception area.

"Did you confirm them with the DNA for the parents?"

"Well, parent. Your dead man on the boat is his father. That leaves us with Mrs. Williams…" she stops.

"The stepmother." I finish for her.

"Yeah. No blood relation."

"Good to know, thank you Valera," I say as she walks off.

Part eight: Speed's POV

"Speed, how's it going? I noticed you seemed a little…jumpy...earlier on the bridge." I can hear the worry in Horatio's voice. We still have a long way to go until we are anywhere near what I would call good. Although the sex is phenomenal.

"Yeah. Remember, no one knows that you and I are together. Had to make them think I'm still pissed at you for ordering me to take vacation." I walk a little way away from were Eric is processing the scene.

"Right. Sorry. Hey, are you wearing my shirt?" So he did notice. I wondered.

"Yeah. It looks better on me than it does on you," I chuckle. "So…" Eric starts to walk towards me so I quickly change the subject. "Frogmen didn't turn anyone up. I did get some soil on the uh, point where the shooter went into the water. I don't know how instructive it's going to be."

"I think we have a kidnapping situation here; a six year old boy."

"Who's our dead guy?"

"The boy's father. And I think the situation went south, so that mud might be our only connection to the suspect," H informs me.

"I'm on it," I say with a sigh as we hang up.

As I take some pictures of the boat, Eric finds a black bag.

"Hey, check this out. Ransom could've fit in this bag." He unzips the bag and pulls out a fish.

"It's a fish." Never let it be said that I miss the obvious.

"Might've just given ourselves a secondary crime scene right here."

"How do you figure?"

"I'll explain once I get back to the lab. In the meantime, you, uh missed a spot over there." He points to the side of the boat and chuckles. I just flip him off and walk away.

"All right, which one of you stole my Crime Light?" Calleigh demands as she comes rushing in to the lab where Eric and I are working.

"Well, 'stole' is-is very negative. I-I had borrowed it, and I had replaced it, I uh put it back," I stammer. Calleigh angry is a very frightening sight.

"It would be nice if you charged it first. I was at the scene and it flat lined," she sighs.

"Sounds like she's mad at you." Eric also has a way with the obvious.

"Calleigh, I sincerely apologize." I place my hand over my heart and give her my best 'kicked puppy' look.

"Apology accepted. Give me yours." She holds out her hand.

"Go ahead, it's in my kit." I point over my shoulder towards the counter where my kit is. "Hope she doesn't need her sodium rhodizinate," I mutter as she walks out of the room.

Eric chuckles and continues flipping through a book trying to find our fish. "Confirmation. Triploid Grass Carp. It's uh, specifically engineered to control aquatic vegetation in the canals. The county dumps them, they eat five times their weight in vegetation."

"Well, Nemo there is 8 inches long, so he was just released."

"All right, so uh we find out what canal we'll be able to fund out where our suspect was prior to the ransom handoff."

"600 square miles of waterway in Miami."

"That's okay, we can narrow it down. The county needs a permit to dump carp, so… let's enter the carp size to find the date and location of the carp," he says as I do a search on the computer. "You got something?"

"Yeah. Canal number 2239 on Newberry Road between 103rd and Fountain."

"So these diamonds were hanging off the boat?" I ask Eric. He had gone with H to find the car, then to stop DOI from moving our crime scene and found some jewels that had been knocked loose from the side when it was moved.

"Yeah. Why? What's up?"

"Nothing. They're fake." I look up from examining the diamond bracelet.

"You're sure?"

"You may be the fish expert, but I know gems. This is the latest thing, laboratory grown diamonds."

"Like zirconium?"

"No, they're real diamonds, just man made. Fraction of a price of diamonds from a mine. Take a piece of pure graphite and put it in a ceramic box with some chemicals. Then slide the whole thing in a pressure cooker. It simulates the pressure fifteen miles below the Earth's surface. Graphite vaporizes. After three days, they pull out the ceramic box, break it open, then you got yourself a diamond crystal. Just like nature only a million times faster," I explain just as H walks in.

"Gentlemen, are these the emeralds?"

"Yeah, we were just about to check 'em," I reply while trying to not stare. I haven't seen him much today and it's starting to get to me.

"Okay," he says as he picks one up and places it on the microscope. "Wait a second, this emerald has a scrape on it. You can't scrape a real emerald."

"What's the tool mark?" Eric asks.

"It's not a tool mark, it's a tooth mark. Look at the striae pattern." He backs away from the microscope and Eric takes over.

"It's a chipped tooth," Eric confirms.

"Mr. Williams got shot for passing fake jewelry," Horatio states as he walks out of the room.

"That's not possible. Our jewelry's real. We don't own replicas," Mrs. Williams tells H and I when we question her about the fake jewels.

"Did your husband know that?" Horatio asks.

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning that it's possible that you swapped out the fake ones for the real ones and didn't tell him." H steps in close to her. I've seen him do this hundreds of times. He steps into a suspect's personal space and they tend to get nervous and slip up.

"You sent him in with a fake ransom. Sounds like a two-fer. Gets rid of the old man. Now you can collect on insurance money for jewelry you never lost in the first place," I state. I really hate stupid people.

"You think that I'd…that I would put my son's life at risk like that?" Mrs. Williams is starting to get desperate.

"Don't you mean your stepson? You neglected to mention that, didn't you?" Horatio is getting frustrated. He hates stupid people, too.

"We're a blended family. We don't use those terms."

"You see, the problem Mrs. Williams, is that you've withheld information and it makes you look complicit in his abduction." I watch as H tries to control his temper. There's just something about crimes against women and children that makes him lose it.

"We got the jewelry appraised last year." Mrs. Williams walks to the next room and grabs a stack of papers. She comes back to the room where we're stilling standing and hands the papers to Horatio.

"A lot can happen in a year. Now…who else had access to those jewels?"

"Just me and my husband. We keep them in the vault."

"Did you ever have them cleaned?" he growls. I feel like we're just going around in circles.

"After events, sure. At McCauley Jewelers."

"McCauley Jewelers, Speed. Thank you." Horatio walks off without looking back.

"I bet that Rolls belongs to the owner. Cars are such a bad investment," I say as we get out of the Hummer at McCauley Jewelers. "I'm just happy I have my bike."

"Some day, you might need something with doors," he replies as we approach the entrance.

"Well, I got plenty of time for that."

"We're here to see Mr. McCauley, please," Horatio tells the man who approaches us when we enter.

"Oh, Mr. McCauley is the previous owner. I'm the new owner. Rudolph Koehler, call me Rudy." He glances over his shoulder then turns to face Horatio. "But maybe I can help you with something, officer. I'd be more than happy to help the police."

I start to look around. Something just doesn't feel right.

"Yes, I've recently been speaking with your customer, Mrs. Tawny Williams," Horatio says just as I come to a counter top where two, nicely dressed ladies, are standing. I glance behind the counter see a man below a table.

"Yes, I just heard the news about her husband," Rudy tells Horatio as I reach for my gun. "It's tragic. She's such a nice lady."

"Excuse me. Speed?" Horatio picks up on my alertness. If I can sense something isn't right then you can bet your life it's gotta be bad. "Stay put." He tells Rudy as he starts to walk to where I'm standing with my gun out and ready.

"She and her husband were very good customers." Rudy continues to talk as if Horatio and I are still listening.

Horatio is now standing near me. In the back, a door opens. A man comes out of the door. Horatio pulls out his gun.

"Speed!" H warns just before the man starts to shoot. The two ladies start screaming which adds to the confusion. I hear Horatio shoot at the men and I try to provide cover for him. My gun doesn't fire. I glance down at it. It must have jammed. Just as that thought enters my head, pain explodes across my chest. I've been shot. Horatio and the men continue to shoot at each other as I fall to the ground.

"Speed!" Horatio rushes to my side. I hate the pain I see in his eyes. This is just too much like Dispo Day. I cleaned my gun just… I can't think. I watch as Horatio grabs his cell phone. "This is CSI Caine. We have a priority here! I got a man down, shots fired! You're going to be okay, Speed. You're going to be okay. You'll be fine."

"I-I can't feel anything," I say as I choke on some blood. Horatio wipes my mouth with a tissue.

I can see his mouth moving, but can't hear his words. "I can't feel anything!" I feel that if I keep talking, then I won't die. I'm not ready to die. Horatio still needs me, I still need him. He leans down and can feel his breath as he whispers something in my ear. I still can't hear what he says. I try to tell him I love him, but I cough and blood comes out from my mouth and then darkness.

Part nine: Horatio's POV

"Just like nature only a million times faster." Tim is just finishing giving Eric a lesson in how to make fake gems as I walk into the lab.

"Gentlemen, are these the emeralds?" I ask.

"Yeah, we were just about to check 'em," Tim replies. I can tell he is trying not to stare. We have not had much time together since he returned to Miami, what with my having to work and all. And then today, a day I had set aside for just the two of us, we get this fucked up case.

"Okay," I say as I pick one up and place it on the microscope. "Wait a second; this emerald has a scrape on it. You can't scrape a real emerald."

"What's the tool mark?" Eric asks.

"It's not a tool mark, it's a tooth mark. Look at the striae pattern," I reply as I step back and Eric takes over.

"It's a chipped tooth," he confirms.

"Mr. Williams got shot for passing fake jewelry," I state as I walk out of the lab.

"That's not possible. Our jewelry's real. We don't own replicas," Mrs. Williams tells Tim and I when we question her about the fake jewels.

"Did your husband know that?" I ask.

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning that it's possible that you swapped out the fake ones for the real ones and didn't tell him." I step in close to her. Just like with the karate teacher. I step into a suspect's personal space and they tend to get nervous and slip up.

"You sent him in with a fake ransom. Sounds like a two-fer. Gets rid of the old man. Now you can collect on insurance money for jewelry you never lost in the first place," Tim states. He really hates stupid people.

"You think that I'd…that I would put my son's life at risk like that?" Mrs. Williams is starting to get desperate.

"Don't you mean your stepson? You neglected to mention that, didn't you." I'm getting frustrated. I hate stupid people, too.

"We're a blended family. We don't use those terms."

"You see, the problem Mrs. Williams, is that you've withheld information and it makes you look complicit in his abduction." I try to control my temper. There's just something about crimes against women and children that makes me lose it.

"We got the jewelry appraised last year." Mrs. Williams walks to the next room and grabs a stack of papers. She comes back to the room where we're still standing and hands the papers to me.

"A lot can happen in a year. Now…who else had access to those jewels?"

"Just me and my husband. We keep them in the vault."

"Did you ever have them cleaned?" I growl. I feel like we're just going around in circles.

"After events, sure. At McCauley Jewellers."

"McCauley Jewellers, Speed. Thank you." I walk off without looking back.

"I bet that Rolls belongs to the owner. Cars are such a bad investment," Tim comments as we get out of the Hummer at McCauley Jewellers. "I'm just happy I have my bike."

"Some day, you might need something with doors," I tell him as we approach the entrance.

"Well, I got plenty of time for that," he replies as we enter the store.

"We're here to see Mr. McCauley, please," I say to the man who approaches us.

"Oh, Mr. McCauley is the previous owner. I'm the new owner. Rudolph Koehler, call me Rudy." He glances over his shoulder and then turns to face me. "But maybe I can help you with something, officer. I'd be more than happy to help the police."

I watch as Tim starts to walk the store. He comes to a counter top where two nicely dressed ladies, stand. I can feel his alertness. If he can sense something, then you can be sure it's not good.

"Yes, I've recently been speaking with your customer, Mrs. Tawny Williams," I say just as Tim stops and takes another look at something.

"Yes, I just heard the news about her husband. It's tragic. She's such a nice lady." I notice that Tim has his gun out.

"Excuse me. Speed?" I start to walk towards him, pulling my own gun on the way. "Stay put."

"She and her husband were very good customers." Rudy continues to talk, as if we're still listening.

I stop near Tim and notice he has his gun fully out and at the ready. In the back, a door opens. Tim is alert. A man exists the door. I pull my gun and turn to warn Tim.

"Speed!" I'm just a fraction of a second too late. The men start to shoot and the two ladies scream and get on the floor. I shoot and see Tim try to cover me. He glances down at his gun.

Rudy tries to escape and I shoot the man from the back room. Another man comes out from the back. I fall to the floor then jump back up and try to shoot the second man. I miss and he gets away.

"Speed!" No not again. I'm reminded of Dispo Day, only this time he doesn't have a vest on. I grab my cell phone. Tim chokes on his blood. "This is CSI Caine. We have a priority here! I got a man down, shots fired!" Someone responds and I turn back to Tim "You're going to be okay, Speed. You're going to be okay. You'll be fine."

"I-I can't feel anything," he chokes out. I wipe his mouth with a issue.

"Hang in there." I'm fighting back tears. I still haven't told him I love him. I can't lose him now. Not when I've just found him again. He's going into cardiac arrest. "Speed. Speed, keep breathing. Speed."

"I can't feel anything!" I can see the fear and the love in his eyes and it scares me. So I lean down and whisper 'I love you' in his ear.

"I know, I know. I understand. Just hang in, partner," I plead as I lean back up to stare into his eyes for the last time. He coughs and blood comes out from his mouth. "Speed?" I lay my head on his chest to hear his last heartbeat and release the breath I'm holding just as he breathes his last. "Speed. Speed…Speed." I whisper as my eyes drift shut and tears start to fall.

"All units. Shots fired. Officer down, McCauley Jewellers." I hear dispatch in the distance.

"Two fifty-three Adam en route."

"Speed. I love you."

Alexx comes rushing in with her kit. She walks towards Calleigh then over to me where she lays her hand on my back.

"Give him to me, Horatio." I nod "He needs to go with me."

"Okay. Okay," I whisper. I still can't believe he's gone.

I stand up and pick up his gun. I walk over towards Calleigh.

"Hey…Okay, um…I need you to start processing the firearms evidence. This is mine and this is Speed's." I hand the guns to Calleigh.

"Is there anything I need to know about the shooting?" she asks.

"Uh, well…a lot of confusion." I have to clear my throat several times.

"And?" she prompts.

"And uh…Speed may have had to look at his gun." The tears are threatening to fall again.

"Okay," she replies as Stetler walks in and signs in with the Front Officer.

"That was quick. IAB."

"I'm out," Calleigh states as she walks away just as Stetler approaches.

"Okay."

"I'm sorry. There's nothing worse." Stetler stops near me and offers his condolences.

"Thank you, Rick." I have to wonder why he's being so nice.

"It's an officer involved shooting. You know I got to work it."

"Yes, the body is still warm." I really hate this man. He wants to start investigating this while my lover is still lying in a pool of his own blood.

"Unfortunately, that's the best time for me to be here. Where's Speedle's weapon?"

"See Calleigh."

"And yours?"

"See Calleigh."

"You should sit down with a counselor." Does he really think he's being helpful? Because he's not. Not in the slightest.

"Only therapy I need is finding the Williams boy, but thanks for the offer," I say as I walk away.

I walk out the door and meet up with Yelina. We stare at one of the shooters. There is a crowd of photographers taking photos while news crews develop their stories.

"Patrol picked him up two blocks away. He only speaks Bulgarian. Now we're waiting on a translator," Yelina tells me.

"I am not going to wait," I growl as I walk towards Rudy.

"Horatio!" Yelina tries to get me under control. "Film at eleven." Yelina states as I push Rudy into the side of a black and white.

"We're live at McCauley Jewellers…" I hear a newsperson say.

"I'm going to put you in the car," I tell Rudy.

"We're at the scene of an officer involved shooting…" The same newsperson continues with their story.

"Where's the boy?" I ask Rudy.

"What boy?"

"Rudy…do not play with me." I am getting really close to ripping this man a new one.

"We swapped stones on jewelry. I don't know anything about a little boy."

"You didn't conspire with Mrs. Williams to kidnap her son. Is that what you're telling me?"

"What? Kidnap? I barely know Mrs. Williams. I may be a thief, but that's all."

"Who were the gunmen inside then?" I growl.

"Security, I hire them. But only to protect the stones." Rudy's starting to really sweat.

"He goes nowhere," I order the officers as I walk away from the car and close the door. I head back inside the jewelry store.

"So this is the palm print that Calleigh found on the trunk of the car?" I ask Eric later at the lab. We're staring at a computer screen that is running the palm print against others.

"She's been searching for a palm print match for hours," Eric confirms.

"Okay, Eric. Hang in there."

"That little kid is out there depending on this box. I hate it; I want to do something." Eric's losing hope.

"I understand, but this is the course of action. So lets keep going," I encourage him just as the computer beeps. Its found a match.

"Pete Keller. Priors for forgery, embezzlement, fraud and theft," Eric reads the screen.

"And now kidnapping. And Eric, if you want to do something, let's get this guy Keller. He's got the kid," I say as I walk out.

Pete Keller runs out of his room and tries to jump off the stairs just as Eric and I approach with a SWAT team.

"Let's see your hands. On the ground! On the ground!" One of the SWAT officers orders just as Pete jumps off and lands at the bottom of the stairs.

"Okay, we got him." Another officer says. "Hands behind your back. Come on hands behind your back, now," he orders Pete.

"Did you get anything?" I ask as Eric and I walk over.

"Found a weapon on him sir." Yet another officer tells me. He holds up a .22.

"Ooh. A .22, just like the one that killed Mr. Williams. Where's the boy. Pete?" I have to really check myself. All I want to do is beat him senseless.

"I don't know who you're talking about," Pete snarls.

"Got a chipped tooth there, champ." Eric points at his teeth.

"Yeah, I busted it when I was a kid."

"No, you got it biting down on a fake emerald before you shot Mr. Williams," I tell him. "Now, your plan went down south and you had to scramble, didn't you?"

"Jump ship, get back to shore, get back to the kid. Where is he?" Eric growls.

"I don't know. It's out of my hands now," Pete just smiles.

"Where'd you stash him?" I have to keep myself from grabbing him by the hair and shoving him face down on the ground.

"Why don't you ask Tawny?"

"Mrs. Williams?"

"Yeah. It was all her idea."

"I got a hit on Keller's known associates," Yelina informs me when I arrive at her desk.

"Tawny Williams."

"That's right, only she went by Sissy Huber back then." She hands me a file.

"Sissy Huber--Tampa, Tallahassee. Fraud, theft, embezzlement." I read the impressive list of offences.

"Look at their victims. Rich men in their fifties and sixties." Yelina points to part of the file.

"Broke their hearts, then broke their bank accounts, didn't she? Let's bring her in," I order as I walk away.

"Lieutenant, I mean, really. Shouldn't I be home in case someone calls?" Mrs. Williams asks as I join her in the interrogation room.

"Someone like Pete Keller?" I remain standing. Just like getting in a suspect's personal space, it tends to make them nervous enough to slip up.

"Your boyfriend…is in custody for kidnapping," Yelina says as she sits down across from Mrs. Williams.

Mrs. Williams looks over to her side and sees Pete Keller in handcuffs, being escorted by two police officers. "Pete did this? Well, I haven't seen Pete in years." She appears to be on the verge of tears.

"He murders your husband, he kidnaps your stepson and I'm to believe that you haven't seen him in years…Sissy? This is a list of known associates and it appears," I show her the folder. "that you and Pete have been separating people from their money for quite awhile."

"Usually older, rich men," Yelina adds.

"I ripped off rich guys. Okay? I admit it. We picked them out of the Society page in the Herald."

"Is that how you found your husband?"

"Yeah, he…Reed had just been widowed. He was like a prime target. Only this time, it was different. I fell in love with him. Okay? I fell in love with his son. You said I'd been hiding something. That's it. My past. I've been trying to make some changes in my life. People do change. Please find him." She starts to cry.

"Where's Joey, Pete?" I demand.

"I told you. Ask Tawny. Although she's still Sissy to me."

"Pete, you just got a CSI killed. I suggest you take your last opportunity and talk to me right now," I growl as I grab Pete's neck and pull it back.

"You already got me for murdering her old man. Why would I help you out?"

"Because the boy will be killed unless you do."

"Guess that'll break Sissy's heart, won't it?"

"And isn't that, Pete, what you're really interested in?"

"Have we processed the envelope with the hundreds from Ken Timmons, the martial arts guy?" I'm hoping the tech has something for me, something to take away the empty space where Tim used to reside.

"Cash wasn't helpful, but the envelope was," he tells me as he points to the monitor where some notes can be seen.

"Translation, please."

"It's a bill."

"It is a bill, for karate lessons."

"The payoff envelope, it didn't come from Pete Keller."

"No, it came from inside the dojo. Which means Timmons and Keller are partners."

"Good thing he never cleans his storeroom," Eric comments as he takes some photos.

"Take a look at this. This is mud. Let's see what else is here. He's gonna take Joey somewhere he's been before, someplace remote." I pick up a small piece of dried mud.

"No, I've got some kind of sap. I'm gonna rush this over to Trace." Eric scrapes up a piece of sap.

"Okay, I'll be on the cell."

I finally get to where the evidence has led me and spot Joey over to the side on a piece of wood. I step out of the car, with my gun in hand.

"Joey?! Stay right there son, I'm coming to get you," I yell.

"I'm scared. Get me out of here."

I check the car over to the side and put away my weapon. I begin to walk towards Joey.

"You hang in there Joey." I look into the water where a T-Shirt floats above the water.

"Don't go in there," Joey warns.

I set down my sunglasses and step into the water to go for Joey. "It's alright." I reach a hand towards Joey. "Come on. Reach my hand."

"That-a-boy," I praise Joey as he reaches towards me. I carry Joey to the edge of the water as police cars arrive. "Alright, buddy," I reassure him. "Code four, Eric. We've got the primary," I tell Eric as he steps out of one of the police cars.

"Pizza? Okay. Pizza…" I ask as Joey and I walk out of the elevator. "Mrs. Williams," I say as I see Mrs. Williams standing a few feet away. She looks over with a shocked expression on her face.

"Joey!" she sobs as she holds out her arms for her son.

"Mommy!" Joey yells as he runs towards Mrs. Williams.

"Hi, oh God. I thought I lost you." Mrs. Williams sobs as they hug. "Thank you. Never occurred to me that Pete was involved. That he would hurt a child," she tells me as I walk over to them.

"Well, Mrs. Williams, jealousy is a powerful motivator. And Pete is going away for a very long time. So you guys are going to be safe now."

"I-I heard about your CSI, I'm sorry…really."

"Yeah. Thank you. Take care, partner." I blink back the tears that are threatening to fall.

"Thank you," she says again as they walk away.

I enter the locker room and stop in front of Tim's locker. I touch his name plate with the tips of my fingers. "You saved me," I whisper.

"I wanted you to see this before I gave it to Stetler." Calleigh hands me a folder. "He definitely had to look at his gun," she sighs.

"'Lieutenant Caine's weapon expended six rounds. Tim Speedle's…Tim Speedle's malfunctioned.' There are many reasons for a misfire, aren't there?" I ask as I look up from the file.

"Faulty mechanism. Low-grade ammunition. Poor gun maintenance," she shrugs.

"Designation of any one of those would be speculation on our part, wouldn't it?"

"We never speculate. Bottom line--the gun malfunctioned."

"And that closes the IAB investigation, doesn't it?" I turn back to Tim's locker. I have to go through his stuff, I just can't seem to make myself do it right now.

"Yes it does," Calleigh sighs. "Now maybe you'll go to the hospital."