"Major?" I wince at the squeak in my voice. "What…what are you doing?" I ask as he presses his lower body against mine.
The music, the heavy rhythm pounding in my ears, couldn't possibly have been more suggestive:
There's little things you hide
And little things that you show
Sometimes you think you're gonna get it
But you don't and that's just the way it goes
That bulge has to be his gun. It just has to be! He can't possibly be aroused by me. Not Major John 'sex-on-a-stick' Sheppard. I mean, the man is the Captain Kirk of the US Air Force. He can have anyone he wants. So why is he trying to make me think he wants me?
"What does it look like I'm doing?" he murmurs as he once again runs the tip of his tongue around my ear. "C'mon, McKay, you know you want this. So stop fighting it and let me rock your world."
God, please tell me he did not just say that!
"Really, Major," I scold as I roll my eyes.
"Yeah, that was kinda lame, wasn't it?" he chuckles. "But regardless, I want you in my bed."
He leans back and I find my gaze caught by his. My breath catches in my throat as I stare into his eyes. Are they glowing? Is he a Goa'uld? No, I must be mistaken; because when I blink his eyes are once again their normal hazel.
"McKay," he whispers as his gaze once again drops below my chin.
My hands are still fisted in his shirt and before I can even think about what I'm doing, I pull him forward and capture his lips with mine.
"Your place or mine?" he pulls back to ask.
"Mine. It's closer," I respond as I pull him in for another kiss.
He breaks away and steps back. "Lead on, Doctor," he says as he extends one arm out to the side, indicating I should proceed.
As I stride down the corridor, I turn to make sure he's following. The lustful look in his eyes causes my heartbeat to quicken and has me increasing my pace.
As soon as we're behind my locked door, I have my arms full of horny Air Force Major. He pushes me against the wall and goes looking for my tonsils.
"Major," I whisper when he lets me breathe.
He quirks an eyebrow at me. "Is that all you can say, McKay?"
I just nod, because I seem to have forgotten how to talk.
This earns me a patented John Sheppard smirk and the response of, "Good to know there is something in the universe that can shut you up."
The connection from my brain to my tongue is suddenly renewed and before I can stop to think, I hear myself say the one thing guaranteed to put an end to the evening's activities. "You don't have to worry, Major, I know the rules. Although it's obvious that kissing is allowed." I slip out from between him and the wall and walk farther into the room.
"What the hell are you talking about, McKay?" he demands, his voice hard.
Shit. I've made him angry. Am I not supposed to mention the rules? None of the others seemed to mind. "Um…" I swallow past the lump in my throat as his eyes narrow on my face. "The rules that say that I'm to act like this never happened and I'm not to ask for more than you're willing to give."
"I've never heard of these 'rules'. Who gave them to you?"
"No one. Just forget I said anything," I stammer.
"No. Never gonna happen. I want to know who told you there were rules for this kind of encounter."
"Just some jock from high school. Really, Major, could you drop it, please?" I reply, nervously wringing my hands as I fight the urge to pace my room.
"Fine. But just so we're clear, I only have one rule, McKay," he states as he backs me across the room. "And that's that there are no rules. You got that?"
I nod as he steps around me and sits on the edge of the bed.
"You don't have rocks in your head, Rodney. You have to speak."
"I hear you, Major," I reply, cringing at the tremor in my voice.
"Good. Now come here," he orders.
My feet automatically obey and before I know it, I'm standing between his widespread legs.
"Relax, Rodney," he murmurs as he slowly strokes the outside of my thighs. "I promise I won't do anything you don't want."
"Yeah, okay," I mumble. I can hardly think with him touching me like that.
"You ever done this before, Rodney?" he surprises me with his question.
"Um…" I stall while trying to decide if I should tell the truth and have him walk away right now. Or lie and have him walk away once he discovers the truth on his own. "Not…not really," I decide on the truth.
"Oh, c'mon, McKay! Either you have or you haven't. It's like being pregnant. There's no such thing as 'sorta'," he scoffs.
"Uh…in my case there is," I stop to clear my throat. "I've only given and received blow jobs and the occasional hand job from other guys. Now women…I've been with several in the biblical sense," I finish and wait for him to push me away.
"So, I'd be your first, huh?" he asks as he tilts his head to the side and squints up at me. I nod. "Cool," he purrs as his face is split by the brightest smile I've ever seen.
I smile back and reach out to run my fingers through his hair. "It's so soft," I murmur as I rub a strand between my finger and thumb.
"Of course it's soft," he exclaims.
"Sorry. I just figured with all the product you put on it…" I try and placate him.
"I don't use any product," he informs me with a huff.
"You mean... your hair does that all by itself?" I ask stupidly, and thread the fingers of both hands into it again to check for mousse or gel or any other agent that lets his 'do do what it does.
"Yeah, it does it on its own," he replies as he shakes my hands from his hair. "Do you really want to discuss my hair?" he asks with a leer.
A grin spreads across my face. "No, I don't really want to discuss your hair, Major," I respond.
"Didn't think so. So where were we?'
"Hm…" I tap my chin with one finger. "I can't seem to remember."
"I think we were somewhere around here…" he says as he pulls me closer.
His bright hazel green eyes snare my own as I look at him, watching him pull my zipper down with his teeth. Once it's open, he shoves my pants down past my ass and leans in. I watch as his eyes drift closed while he inhales my scent.
The man is the master of misdirection, as I find out to my dismay. I'm not even sure what he did to distract me, but I suddenly find myself once again fighting the rising tide of my orgasm as the moist warmth of his mouth envelopes the head of my cock.
My head falls back on my neck as he slowly swallows me down. "God, Major," I moan as his throat muscles contract around my erect dick.
He must have figured out how to breathe through his ears because he keeps his nose pressed to my belly for several minutes before pulling back and flicking his tongue against the underside of the crown.
After endless minutes in which he teases with his teeth and tongue, he begins bobbing his head up and down, pulling a guttural groan from deep within me.
Then just as I get control of myself, he starts humming and reaches up to fondle my balls.
I thread my fingers in his hair and hold on for dear life as my orgasm is ripped from me when he presses one finger against my hole.
As I catch my breath, I fight my embarrassment at climaxing so quickly.
Sheppard lets my softened dick slip from his mouth and then presses tiny kisses to my stomach.
"It's just as well I've already saved the city, Major," I snark as he leaves a hickey on my lower abdomen. "Radek will have to take over until my brain cells recover."
"Is that so?" he chuckles as he slips from the bed to his knees in front of me.
"Yes," I reply, as he helps me out of my shoes and socks so I can step out of my pants and boxers.
Sheppard seems to have forgotten what personal space is as he stands up. As soon as he's completely upright, he leans in and gives me the sweetest, most tender kiss I have ever received from a lover.
"Uh…no. I…um…" I falter to a stop as he pulls his shirt off over his head. The man is a Greek god. "My God, you're beautiful," I slap my hand against my mouth as he laughs. "Did I say that out loud?" I ask in a whisper.
"Yeah, ya did," he replies.
I shake my head. "I didn't…" I begin.
"You did," he talks over me. "Now let's see how beautiful you are," he tells me as he reaches for my jacket.
"Wait!" I step back again.
"What now?"
"My arm," I remind him as I hold my injured right arm up for him to examine.
"Hm," he hums as he removes the gauze wrapped around my arm and over the sleeve of my jacket and shirt.
His eyes snap up to mine when he finally gets down to the blood soaked cloth. Are they glowing again? I must be really out of it if I keep thinking his eyes are glowing.
"You really should have had someone in the infirmary take a look at this."
"I didn't have time to wait for someone," I inform him.
"Fine," he growls as he grabs the lapel of my jacket and pulls me along to the bathroom and into the shower.
He turns the water on and begins washing away the dried blood.
I find it difficult to watch the blood-tinged water going down the drain so I opt for staring at his face. His lips are compressed into a tight line and the skin around them is white. I suddenly realize that he too could be injured and in pain.
"Are you hurt?" I ask.
"What?" he doesn't even look up from what he's doing.
"You look like you're in pain. Are you?" I respond.
"No," is his simple answer. "But you are. Why didn't you say something?" Now he meets my eyes.
I drop mine out of guilt. "There are so many others who are hurt far worse," I mumble. "Besides. An orgasm like that is better than stitches and a painkiller, any day of the week."
He smiles at this. "When did you become concerned for other people?"
"I don't know, Major. Maybe around the time we had a hurricane hit the city?" I snap at him. "Really, Major. It doesn't even hurt all that much."
"No need to get defensive," he soothes as he leans in and kisses the tip of my nose. "But I'm not buying that as your excuse."
"Excuse me?" My hackles are starting to rise. What was supposed to be my greatest fantasy come true has turned into my worst nightmare.
"I know you…" he begins.
"No, Major, you don't," I talk over him.
"Yes, Rodney, I do," he insists. "The less you complain, the worse it is."
"Not true!" I contradict. "I just decided that since Carson couldn't tend me himself, I would just let this one slide," I inform him with a sniff.
He just quirks an eyebrow at me and removes my jacket and shirt. They drop to a bloody, soggy heap on the tiled floor.
"What?" I start, defensively. "Are you saying you don't believe me?"
"No, Rodney. I believe you," he says as he goes back to washing the dried blood off my arm. But I can tell he doesn't, not really.
I just blink at him as I am once again left with nothing to say.
He ushers me out of the shower, dries us both off and makes short work of redressing my wound before hustling us back into the bedroom where he pushes me gently backwards onto the bed.
As soon as I'm settled, he straddles my thighs. He leans over me and I find it difficult to maintain eye contact so I settle for staring at his dog tags where they're swinging from his neck between us.
Suddenly his hand wraps around them before tossing them over his shoulder. "I want you focused on me, not my dog tags, McKay," he informs me as he leans down to suck on my lower lip.
"Major," I whimper when he releases my lip.
"All in good time, McKay," he soothes in between cat-like licks to the crook of my neck. "All in good time."
I run my hands up his lightly furred thighs to squeeze his ass before trailing the tips of my fingers up his back to grip the skin just below his shoulder blades.
My grip tightens as he licks his way up my neck to close his lips over the pulse jumping just beneath my jaw. I can't believe he's marking me. So much for not letting anyone know I just got laid.
"Major," I pant as he lowers his body to mine and I feel his erection hot and heavy against my belly.
I revel in the pull and stretch of his back muscles as he reaches for the drawer of the bedside table. When he pulls back he has a condom and the lube in his hand.
"I really want to look in your eyes while I do this," he whispers against my lips.
"Huh?" I question, slightly embarrassed that I seem to have totally forgotten how to talk again.
He grins down at me. Is he enjoying my lack of verbal skills?
"This will hurt less if you're on your hands and knees, but I want to watch your eyes go all vague with passion as I bring you to the edge," he tells me.
"Oh, okay," I mumble and start to roll over.
"No, Rodney," he chuckles as he presses me back down onto my back. "I want you on your back. I'll just have to take longer to make sure I don't hurt you."
I blink yet again, in lieu of a verbal response.
He smirks as he lowers his head and kisses his way down my body, stopping to pay homage to my nipples.
I arch into his touch and moan low in my throat.
His soft lips press kisses to my lower belly as a distraction for when he starts to rub one lube covered finger against my entrance. I stiffen when he starts to insert it. I've had plenty of prostate exams, but this is different. This is Sheppard and me. And this is so not clinical. Not by a long shot.
Once his finger is in as far as it'll go, he stops. I expect him to pull it back out. Maybe add one or two more but he doesn't. He just sits there, pressing tiny little biting kisses to any part of me he can reach.
When he rubs his stubbled jaw down the inside of my thigh, I clench my ass muscles around his finger and the pleasure I feel is more than I'd ever thought possible.
He then begins to turn his finger and thrust it in and out. When my breath starts to hitch in my chest he adds a second finger. The feeling is a bit more painful than just one, but still something I can handle.
"Major," I pant as he slowly fucks me with two fingers.
Then he adds a third causing me to hiss at the burn and dig my nails into the skin of his shoulders.
"I'm sorry, I have to, Rodney," he soothes as he traces lazy patterns on my stomach with his tongue.
Eventually, he must feel he's prepared me enough because he's suddenly leaning over me and I feel the blunt tip of his cock seeking entrance.
My body tenses as he slowly pushes into me. I never expected it to hurt like this. Didn't he just spend endless moments stretching me so it wouldn't?
"Relax, Rodney," he grits out through clenched teeth.
I raise my eyes to his and swallow a gasp of surprised fear. Gone is the laid-back, Southern California surfer flyboy and in his place is a man who has seen too much death and destruction and who is staring down into an abyss of despair.
This man frightens me.
"John," I call, using his name for the first time since we entered my room.
He doesn't seem to hear me. He just keeps pushing in until he bottoms out. Once all the way in he pauses. For what I have no idea.
Several minutes go by as I try to relax and accept his intrusion into my body. Eventually I start to relax and I notice his arms are trembling. He has most of his weight on his hands and he's leaning over me so that we're only touching where I'm griping his back and at our groins.
The feeling of being stretched to the limit is incredible. I squeeze my muscles around him just like I did with his finger and he seems to take it as some kind of cue.
He slowly starts to pull out and I quickly wrap my legs around his hips, locking my ankles behind his back, and slide my hands down to grab his flanks. Unfortunately this doesn't stop him. He continues to withdraw until just the tip of his penis is in me, where he once again pauses.
"John," I once again try to bring him back from the edge.
He again doesn't seem to notice I've used his name instead of his rank as he very slowly pushes back in. Only this time, when he bottoms out, he immediately starts to pull back out. Instead of pulling all the way back, he stops half way and begins to push forward.
He keeps up this pace for what feels like forever. It's just fast and hard enough to feel good. Sheppard was right. Now that I've relaxed, the pleasure is beyond anything I've ever felt before. His pace is not quite enough to drive me over the edge into oblivion, though.
I plant my feet on the mattress and arch up to meet his next in-stroke. "Major," I grunt when he grinds his hips against mine.
"McKay," he growls as he picks up the pace and starts to really slam into me, angling each stroke to rub over my prostate.
All too soon, and yet not soon enough, my world explodes into a million tiny multi-colored pieces and I feel like I can touch the stars.
As I come back to myself I'm aware of two things. One, I'm still grunting the word 'Major' and two, the only other sound is his balls slapping against my ass.
He seems to be holding his breath. Why would he do that?
"John?" I try, again, to get his attention but he doesn't seem to be in the room with me.
Oh, he's here physically but not mentally. His eyes have that far away look of someone caught in a memory.
I place my hands on his chest with every intention of pushing him off me when he suddenly stiffens and throws back his head as a warmth floods my insides. A muffled scream that could be my name escapes him.
As I watch, a drop of blood appears on his lower lip before dropping down to land on my shoulder. He then slumps a bit but catches himself before he can collapse on top of me.
"Sheppard?" I try a different tactic.
This one seems to work. "McKay?" he questions as he blinks down at me.
"Yeah," I answer as I rub my hands up and down his back.
"You okay?" he asks.
"Yeah, I'm good."
"I didn't hurt you?" His brows lower in a frown.
"No, you didn't, Major. Although I am starting to get a cramp in my leg."
"Sorry," he says but doesn't move.
"I need you to move. Now, Major." I push against his chest.
"Right. Just…Give me a minute," he tells me.
"In pain here, Major!"
He finally pulls out and rolls from the bed. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asks again.
"Yes, Major. I'm fine. Now that I can close my legs…" I stop talking as I remember the warmth flooding my guts. "You didn't wear a condom!" I yell.
"Yeah, about that… We're both clean. You know that. Otherwise we wouldn't be here," he states.
"So? You had the damn thing in your hand. Why didn't you use it?"
"I…don't really know. Guess I was just in too much of a hurry to be inside you," he responds as he starts to get dressed.
I furrow my brows as I try to figure out what he's doing. "Why are you getting dressed?"
"Can't be caught leaving your room in the morning, McKay," he reminds me.
And now we're back exactly where Jack Martin always took me. I thought Major Sheppard would be different. Yeah, I know with the whole 'Don't ask, don't tell' thing he can't exactly come out of the closet, but I never thought he'd fuck me and then leave.
"Right. How stupid of me to think you were any different," I snap. "Please lock the door on your way out," I say before rolling over and showing him my back.
"Rodney," he begins.
"Don't, Major. Please. Just leave." I'm choking on my embarrassment.
"It's not like that. I'm thinking of you as well, ya know." I can hear the sigh in his voice.
I roll back over when I feel the bed dip. "Why would you being seen leaving my room have an adverse affect on me?"
He smiles at me. "You really want the whole city to know that you're socializing with a grunt?"
"I am a member of your team," I reply with all possible dignity.
"True, but still…" he says with a shrug.
"Fine, Major," I start to say but he talks over me.
"You called me John earlier. Why do you insist on calling me 'Major'?"
"I'm not getting into this with you," I respond as I roll off the other side of the bed. "If you'll excuse me, I need a shower." And with that I shut the bathroom door firmly on the laughter coming from the man whom I was starting to consider my best friend.
As I start the shower, I realize that the phrase – and song – 'I want your sex' is going to have a whole new meaning for me.