Series: Moments Sacred and Profane

Title: MSP18: Severance

Author: Mice

Email: just_us_mice@yahoo.com

Category: Stargate: Atlantis, McKay/Beckett

Warnings: slash, angst

Spoilers: season one up to The Siege pt 2

Rating: R

Summary: Help from Earth has arrived, but is it too little, too late?

Archive: If it's on your list, you can archive it. If it isn't and you'd like it, just let me know where you're putting it.

Feedback: Feed me, Seymour.

Website: Mice's Hole in the Wall https://www.squidge.org/mice

Mirror: http://mice.inkpress.org

Disclaimer: Not mine. They belong to many other people. But if they were mine, they'd be having very interesting adventures.

Author's Notes: Happy beta by Zortified and Pas. I hated leaving this as a cliffhanger, but the nature of Siege 2 left me no choice. If I wanted to work within canon, I couldn't project any further than this. MSP19 will be written once Season Two begins. In the meantime, I hold my breath...

~~~

Severance,

The birds of leaving call to us,

Yet here we stand

Endowed with the fear of flight.

Overland

The winds of change consume the land,

While we remain

In the shadow of summers now past.

~~Dead Can Dance -- from Severance~~

Rodney hurried into the control room from the Jumper bay, barely able to spare a glance at Radek as he asked for their status. Within moments he was dialing the Gate for the final evacuation to the Alpha site as the self-destruct sequence was armed.

He was shocked when the dialing sequence was stopped by an incoming wormhole and almost lightheaded when the IDC proved to be Stargate Command. When the cavalry came over the hill as the self-destruct claxons were sounding he felt a moment of hope but it was immediately crushed by Col. Everett's insufferably cheerful arrogance and condescension. The man ran roughshod over Elizabeth and ignored everyone else around him, snapping orders left and right without a care in the world.

If anybody in Atlantis was going to win the arrogance award, it was going to be Rodney McKay, Ph.D., and he wasn't going to be at all cheerful about it. The Daedalus might be on her way but she was spectacularly unlikely to make it to Atlantis before the Wraith killed them all. Everett just didn't seem to get any of it. If he didn't know Sheppard so well, Rodney would have been willing to swear that military officers were required to check their brains at the door.

Doomed. They were all doomed. And he hadn't even been home for ten minutes. It was going to be a wonderful day.

***

Erin Siwicki came back with quite a few of the other non-military personnel when the call came through to the Alpha site. She'd been Navy and, though she'd never actually handled a gun on duty outside of boot camp, she did know how to use one. "I think these new guys are idiots," she said to Rob Stackhouse, "but if my friends have to be here, I want to back them up."

Rob nodded. "I know what you mean." They were stationed outside the chair room where Rodney and Radek worked frantically to connect the new Mark Two naquadah generator. Rob paced nervously while Erin sat on an empty crate, her back against the wall. Her leg still ached, but she figured if the Wraith showed up, she'd be better off shooting than running anyway.

"You know anything about Everett?" she asked cautiously.

Rob shook his head. "Nope. Just that he waltzed in with an attitude the size of Montana and ignored everybody." He paused in his pacing and looked around the corner and down the corridor. "You should have heard McKay and Zelenka bitching."

Erin smiled a little, knowing both of them. "And Everett's ears didn't get pinned back?"

"He was in the conference room. They didn't get to ream him out to his face."

"Figures." She got up to stretch her legs and peered into the room, watching Radek and Rodney working, kneeling on the floor next to the generator. "Gods, they look fried."

"It's only gonna get worse," Rob said. "Three or four days. That's how long Everett said we have to hold the city."

"You think we can do it?" She leaned against the doorway.

"Would you two shut up?" Rodney shouted. "We're trying to focus in here!"

"Sorry," Erin called back. She moved away from the door.

Rob shook his head and followed her. "I doubt it, but Everett's not gonna believe it until he actually has to face one of those life-suckers himself."

"Rail guns," Erin said. "And I heard he wants to have the Major lay some mines out in space around us. The Wraith won't be fooled for an instant. Power signatures or not, they're gonna be able to scan the things. They've got tech that nearly rivals the Ancients."

"You know it and I know it and the Major knows it. This guy, though, damn. Things are gonna get nasty if we survive this and he stays in charge." Rob leaned against the wall next to her. "I don't know how me and Jacks are gonna hide our relationship. Who knows if we'll be able to trust the new guys at all?"

"At least the Major's not a freak about it." Erin ran a hand through her hair and shoved her glasses back up her nose. "I hope Everett doesn't toss Shep in the brig. He's not exactly your four-oh eval sorta guy."

"Shep's too smart to let it come to that unless he gets pushed into a corner. He's learned a lot here. Been a decent C.O., and let me tell you, that shocked the hell out of me. I'm so not looking forward to serving under Everett." He shifted nervously and looked around. "Can't really let anybody hear that either though."

Rodney poked his head out into the corridor and snapped his fingers a few times. "Hey, hey. One of you two. Coffee, damn it!" He disappeared. Stackhouse sighed.

"I'll do it," Erin said. "You don't have to be a glorified gofer."

"Don't be too long," Rob said, nervous. She hurried toward the transporter.

***

Carson didn't mind the idea of giving the newcomers the ATA gene therapy, but their utter gung-ho eagerness to get at the Wraith frightened him. "Snap it up here, Beckett," Everett said, impatient as he waited for Carson to prepare the hypodermic. "I don't have time to mess around. I need to be able to use this technology."

Carson looked at him as he filled the hypo. "You do realize that this only works in forty-eight percent of the subjects," he said. "It may not take for you. We're still not entirely sure it'll take with any of your pilots, much less all four of them."

"Don't bother me with statistics, Doctor. Just give me the shot and get me on my way." Everett gave him a look that suggested fire ants might be higher in his social estimation. It didn't bode well.

Shel looked at Carson and rolled her eyes. Carson sighed. "Very well, Colonel. If you'll join me." Carson gestured at him to roll up his sleeve. Everett did and Carson gave him the shot. "That's it. You can go now."

"And I'll know within four hours if this has taken?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Four hours minimum. Good luck." Carson figured they'd all need it. Everett hurried out of the infirmary, barking orders at several of the military personnel as he did.

Shel shook her head. "He's... inordinately cheerful."

"Far too optimistic," Carson agreed. "He's acting like the Wraith are no real threat. We shouldn't still be here. And you, lass, should be at the Alpha site with most of the rest of the med crew."

"Whether or not his plan works, we're going to have lots of casualties. You know it as well as I do. You and Anand can't handle it all on your own, not even with the military medics on hand." She put a hand on his shoulder. "You know you need me."

He sighed and nodded. "I know, yeah. I just worry. I don't want to see you hurt, Shel. With the Wraith so close, I wish we were all elsewhere."

"Home on Earth would be nice," Shel said softly.

Carson snorted. "Oh, aye. Definitely that." He looked up when Erin came into the room. "What are you doing back here, with that limp you've still got?" He eyed the P90 she was carrying and the pistol and knife strapped to her leg. "Please don't tell me you came back to help defend the place."

"Better than sitting on my ass at the Alpha site and freaking out worrying about everyone." She waved a hand at him. "Rodney says the chair's almost ready. They've got the power hooked up and he and Radek want you to come up and initialize the thing."

"Oh, no." Carson backed away a few steps. "No, you'll not be getting me into that thing."

She shrugged. "Argue with Rodney."

"You've got the gene too, Erin. Why didn't they ask you to do it?" He backed up another step and his hip hit a gurney.

"Because they figure I'm more useful waving a gun around in case the Wraith drop by for tea while we're at it." She smiled apologetically. "I already volunteered. They said no."

"Oh, crap." Carson's chest tightened.

"Sorry," Erin said. "Come on." She headed for the door.

When Carson got to the chair room, he lurked at the doorway for a moment. "Oh stop that," Rodney said, annoyed. "Get in here."

"Rodney, don't make me do this. Please." Carson didn't move. He could feel his anxiety level rising by the moment.

"It's all right, Carson," Radek said, coming over to him. He took Carson by the arm. "Come in. You know we don't have time for hesitation now."

"I'm not hesitating," Carson snapped, "I'm objecting. I'm no good at this. Something'll go horribly wrong. People will die. I can't do this!"

"You can!" Rodney insisted. "Look, I'd have Siwicki do it, but then we'd have to pull somebody else for guard duty and it's not like everyone here isn't already running their butts into the ground. At least she knows which end of the gun you point at the bad guys."

"This is better than most of the scientists," Radek agreed. "We need you here. Please, Carson."

"Really, you don't want to make me do this," Carson said. His heart was thundering against his ribs with his nervousness.

Carson resisted, but Radek eased him into the chair despite it. "There is nothing to worry about. Trust me. We just need you to initialize system. Everything will be fine." Carson tried to get up again.

"Listen to the man," Rodney added, pushing Carson back with one hand in the center of his chest. He held a tablet in the other, looking at it intently. "Come on now. Just take a deep breath. I know you can do it. You've done it before."

"And we all know what happened last time!" Carson shouted.

"Calm down," Radek said. "You know when you're agitated you don't do so well with these things. Is best to try to relax. It will work better for you."

"No, I just--"

"Carson," Rodney said, looking him in the eyes. "Listen to me. We need you to calm down. I need you to be focused here, okay?" Rodney leaned in and kissed him, a quick, soft peck on the lips. "Please, just try." He brushed a hand through Carson's hair then started poking at his tablet again, walking away to check something.

Carson was already starting to pant a little as he sat in the chair. Bloody lovely. The last thing he needed was to start hyperventilating. "Look Rodney, I just can't do this."

Rodney looked over at Radek. "He's not even trying!"

"We've tried this a dozen times," Carson said, thinking back to other days and times when he'd been in just this place.

"Never with this power source," Radek assured him.

"I'm serious. Major Sheppard's your man." Carson truly did not want to be in the hot seat. The longer he sat the more uneasy he got.

"Of course he is," Rodney snapped. Carson could tell his lover was getting impatient with him. "But he's training pilots and deploying space mines right now, so we're stuck with you." Rodney glowered at him, apparently having decided that his attempt at sweet-talking hadn't worked. Carson couldn't really fault him for it. "Now listen to me very carefully, do exactly what I tell you to do, and hopefully no one will get hurt!"

"Rodney," Carson objected, "there must be someone else?"

Rodney ignored his plea. "Concentrate on powering up the chair. Nothing else, nothing more, nothing but. Don't start thinking about--"

Carson panicked, knowing he'd start thinking about whatever Rodney was about to say, and some disaster was sure to follow. "Don't tell me what not to start thinking about or I'll start thinking about it!" he yelped.

"*Please* power it up." Rodney gave him a look that suggested sex might be weeks away, assuming they survived the Wraith attack at all.

Carson took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to focus. After a moment, the chair slipped back into its active position and Carson felt the power flood him. It scared the crap out of him but he did his best to stay with it and only concentrate on keeping it active.

"Good," Rodney muttered. "Good. Good. And -- oh no."

Carson's eyes flew open and he looked over at Rodney, on the verge of panic. "What? Did I do something wrong?" His heart hammered in his chest, his palms sweating.

Rodney didn't bother to respond. He just jerked the uplink cable from his tablet and dashed out of the room. Carson's breath was coming in quick gasps now. Surely he'd done something awful. Radek hurried over to him. "See?" he said, "Nothing to worry about."

Somehow, Carson doubted that. Rodney's voice carried back into the room. "Get him out of the chair!" Radek reached over and helped pull Carson up as Rodney's footsteps retreated.

"Oh, god," Carson said, shaking himself as he got up. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong with what you did, Carson, trust me. If you'd done something wrong, Rodney would still be here, yelling at you." Radek gave him a wry half-smile.

"Well, I guess you've a point, at that." He took a deep breath and let it out, trying to let go of his upset. "If you don't mind, I think I'll be off. I don't want him to put me back in that thing when he returns."

Radek gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Good idea. I think it would be wise if you hurried. I've no idea where Rodney was headed. I must find out what happened."

Carson ran.

***

Rodney cornered Everett in a corridor outside the control room afterwards. "You, Colonel, are an idiot."

"Is that a fact?" Everett growled.

"You seem exceedingly fond of that phrase," Rodney snapped. "And yes, it's a fact. You came swooping in here, ignoring the people who know what the hell is going on, you plant your space mines and don't bother to ask the opinion of any of the scientific staff--"

"Just a moment, Dr. McKay," Everett said, holding up one hand. "I don't need your approval for my actions, nor do I need--"

"If you expect anybody to survive this mess, you'd damned well better start listening to us!" Rodney shouted. "We're the ones who've been here! We're the ones who have a fucking *clue* about what the Wraith are capable of! If you're not willing to listen--"

"Doctor!" Everett snapped, glaring. "I've read the reports. I have my orders. I know what I'm supposed to be doing here. Do you?"

"Saving your imbecilic ass," Rodney snarled at him. "Which is obviously not worth a moment of my time." He turned and stormed off, exasperated. Rodney hoped Sheppard would have a better time dealing with the bastard.

***

"The guy's a nutcase," Lt. Miller said, glancing over his shoulder.

"No kidding," Jackson De Lancie added, nodding in agreement. "He should have held some of them nukes back. There was no way to guarantee the Wraith weren't gonna find the damned things."

Sheppard nodded. "Yeah, I know. McKay's been ranting about it every time I see him. I hear he tried to ream Everett a new one."

Cpl. De Lancie crossed his arms over his chest and nodded again. "Oh yeah. He'd do that. The man's got a temper on him."

"In this case he'd be thoroughly justified," Miller added.

"Agreed, gentlemen," Sheppard said. He leaned back against the wall. They were all grabbing a minute to breathe as the frantic activity of assembling the rail guns proceeded around them. "But I'm not in charge anymore and no matter what we may think of this guy's capacities, we have to follow his orders. I hate it as much as anybody." More, probably, he thought. He'd never been much of one for following idiot orders to begin with.

Teyla approached cautiously and Sheppard turned to greet her. "Major," she said quietly.

"Hey, guys, I gotta run." He turned to Teyla. "Yeah, let's get out of here. We need to talk."

"Indeed we do," she said as they hurried away from the balcony. "My people would very much like to help defend the City of the Ancestors. I do not, however, know how your Colonel Everett will receive this. He has been suspicious of me, and I do not know if that suspicion will carry over to a suspicion of my people as a whole."

Sheppard sighed and nodded. "I'm not sure either, Teyla, and I can't tell you how sorry I am about that. You know if I were in charge--"

"If you were in command, Major, there would be no question that every available person would be allowed to assist with the city's defense. You have been a good friend to us, and your trust in me is greatly appreciated." She put a hand on his arm as they walked. "But you are not, and so we must deal with Col. Everett."

"He doesn't strike me as the trusting type," Sheppard said. "And the way he's been treating Elizabeth and Rodney really sucks."

"I do not believe he is a very wise leader," Teyla said solemnly. "Were I in his position, I would seek the counsel of those who have been living with the threat of the Wraith before I acted."

"Yeah, well you're a lot smarter and more flexible than he seems to be." Sheppard sighed. "God, I'm starved. I don't think I've eaten anything today. You?"

She nodded, frowning. "No, I have been far too busy for food."

"Come on then, we should hit the mess hall. Neither of us is gonna be much good if we start getting lightheaded. I'd like to have McKay keep the corner on that market."

Teyla smiled. "I agree. I do not believe that, what did he call it -- 'passing out from manly hunger' will aid our work."

Sheppard laughed. "Nope, you got that right!" He grinned and they turned down the corridor toward the mess.

***

When the call to battle stations came that night, Carson was already in the infirmary. Because of the radiation from the screen of blown nuclear mines around the planet, they'd not seen the Wraith Darts coming until they were nearly atop the city. There hadn't been much time to prepare.

Carson had known it was going to be bad, but the reality was worse than he'd ever imagined. He couldn't hear the Darts overhead, but he could hear the barrage from the rail guns and the thunder of automatic weapons fire through the walls and down the corridors and it chilled him to the bone.

As wounded began coming in, he buried his fear and took charge of himself and his domain, snapping orders, working triage, directing his people. He ran himself ragged trying to keep ahead of the situation. It distracted him, but not enough. The explosions outside, though muffled, were enough to make him flinch. When he let himself look around, he knew he wasn't the only one. He still felt like a coward.

When the infirmary shuddered he knew that a Dart had crashed nearby and prayed that no one had died when it struck. He focused on his work, trying to move past the terror that lay in his gut, curling like an adder. The wounded kept coming.

***

Aiden Ford looked down from the balcony at the still-burning water between two starfish arms of the city. There were fires burning everywhere, lighting up the night like stars on the water.

They'd lost a lot of people, too many. The rail guns had been effective, but they just weren't enough. People were missing, some were dead, quite a few were wounded. He was losing confidence in Everett, uncertain that the Colonel was making good decisions.

Aiden was a good soldier. He knew when he had to follow orders, even if sometimes they didn't make much sense at the time. When Everett first came through the Gate, Aiden hoped it was the answer to their prayers. The Colonel seemed like he knew what he was doing -- he'd read the reports. He'd brought backup and materiel and strategies that had given Aiden hope at the brink of despair.

But when the Wraith came, Everett and the newcomers weren't prepared. Sure, they'd fought valiantly -- it was their job -- but they didn't understand what they were up against. They were used to dealing with the Goa'uld, who really only wanted to enslave everyone. The Wraith wanted them for *food.* It was an entirely different mindset, an entirely different kind of enemy.

He hurried toward the control room, knowing he'd need to start helping regroup the military personnel. He wondered how many were left.

Damage reports were still coming in from all over the city, and people were looking for the missing. No one could be certain if the Wraith had taken them or if they were trapped under debris. He wondered if any had fallen overboard during the battle and his eyes searched the burning water again as he ran.

The scientists and maintenance and the admin types were doing a lot of the damage control. More of them had returned from the Alpha site than he'd thought. Most of them had no idea how to use a gun, but they were a hell of a lot braver than he ever would have guessed. The original expedition folks, they were good people and it ached that he couldn't spare them this horror.

He wished he could spare himself.

***

"You need rest, Carson," Shel said. "It's almost five in the morning. You've been up for nearly two solid days." She'd been watching him run himself into the ground all night after the battle had begun.

"There's too much to do," Carson told her. He looked exhausted. "There are too many wounded that still have to be treated before they can be sent to the Alpha site."

She sighed. "You're going to end up flat on your back in one of these beds if you don't get some rest. You know there are other doctors on duty who haven't been pushing themselves quite as hard as you have."

Carson shook his head. "No, Shel. I'm the CMO. I'm supposed to set the example here."

"Well you're setting a lousy one. Do you want everyone to do what you're doing right now? Do you really want everyone on staff falling over on their faces like you're about to?" She took him firmly by one shoulder and steered him to a chair, where he sank, exhausted. He buried his face in his hands.

"No. No, of course not."

"Then why are you doing it to yourself?"

He sighed. "Someone has to be in charge."

"Anand can do that. You know he's perfectly capable." She slipped behind him and started rubbing his shoulders. "Let go, Carson. Get a couple of hours sleep, at least. Yes, everyone needs you, but they don't need you killing yourself."

Carson didn't look up. "All right, then," he said quietly. "You have a point. But I'll sleep here. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my office."

"Where do you intend to sleep in your office?" she asked. There was no bed in there, not even a couch. "In your chair?"

"Under my desk," he said, looking up and giving her a wry grin. "I'll just pretend I'm back in my residency. I'm just as exhausted as I used to be then, right enough."

She shook her head. "Right. At least let me get you a pillow and a blanket."

"Oh, aye, that would be good." He leaned forward and tilted himself to his feet. "If you need anything, you be sure to wake me, do you hear?"

"Loud and clear," Shel said, not intending to wake him at all.

***

"Man, this just creeps me out," Rob Stackhouse said.

Siwicki nodded, looking around nervously. "I really really don't want to be close enough to one of the damned things to see it, much less shoot at it."

"You didn't have to come back," Rob said gently.

"I know," Erin said, "but I can at least use one of these things." She lifted the P90. "A lot of the folks who came back can't, but they're here anyway."

"Remind you too much of active duty?" Stackhouse asked.

She snorted. "No. You think some squid who's not in a war zone is gonna have a gun anywhere near them? You don't join the Navy to shoot at stuff, Rob."

He chuckled. "So why *do* you join the Navy?"

"So you can have the kitchen and your bed hauled around with you."

"Damn," he said. "I think I missed the boat." They both chuckled with exaggerated humor at the lame pun.

"How many of them do you think got into the city?" she asked. She wondered if Rodney and Radek knew, or even if they cared right now.

Rob sighed. "No idea. They've got most of the folks who aren't actively Wraith hunting confined to specific areas so they can scope 'em out with the city's sensor systems." He paced quietly up and down the hall in front of the door.

"Tell me again why we came to Atlantis?"

He looked at her and rolled his eyes. "It was the hottest assignment available from the SGC. I figured if we ever got back, my career would be made. 'Course, I'd never be able to tell anybody about any of it."

"No kidding. Do you have any idea how many papers and articles I won't be able to publish if I ever get back to Earth?" They both startled when a soft sound echoed around them, but it was followed by a quiet curse in Czech.

"Stop dropping shit, Radek." Rodney's voice was hollow in the chair room. "Do you have any idea what would happen to us if you dropped the generator?"

"I was not moving the generator," Radek objected. "And besides, I think it would be less painful to go in a naquadah explosion than to be sucked dry by the Wraith." Their voices quieted again, just background noise.

Erin and Rob relaxed a little. Rob kept pacing the hallway, up and back, up and back. Erin's leg still hurt, so pacing wasn't an option, but she felt like she was about to burst out of her skin from her anxiety.

"I hope the Daedalus gets here soon," she whispered.

Rob nodded. "Me too," he said softly. "Me too."

***

"Catfish," Jackson De Lancie muttered. Bren Henderson turned to him.

"Huh?"

"Them Wraith, they look like some bad-assed catfish. Too bad we can't deep-fry their asses. My mama, she'd know what to do with 'em." He shook his head, picturing his mama with a spatula in her hand. It brought a dark, uneasy smile to his lips.

She looked at him, a mix of amusement and nervousness in her eyes. "And I suppose you think the Wraith guards look like hush puppies?"

He grimaced, glancing down at the lifesigns detector. "Ain't never seen no hush puppy that ugly," he said. "Hang on. We got company." He gestured down the hallway to the right and held up three fingers.

Bren nodded. She pulled a grenade from her LBE. They slipped silently down the corridor. Where the corridor turned, they paused and she peered around the corner. Ducking back quickly, she pulled the pin.

A count of three and she whipped the grenade into the hallway. The explosion was intense, and they both turned their P90s toward the enemy and fired.

When the smoke cleared, two Wraith were still standing.

"Holy shit," Jacks whispered. "Don't those fuckers die?"

Bren opened fire.

***

"There are twenty or thirty of them, according to sensors," Radek was saying to Siwicki and Stackhouse as Rodney approached the chair room with Carson in tow. Erin looked profoundly disturbed. Rob just shifted nervously.

"I'm tellin' you, I can't do this," Carson said, continuing the diatribe he'd started in the infirmary when Rodney had gone to get him. "It's pure bloody insanity." The objections had been pouring out nonstop at high volume, with rapid-fire nervousness.

"It's *necessary,* Carson," Rodney growled. He loved the man, but there wasn't time for this and Rodney was already running on nothing more than adrenaline, terror, and coffee fumes. "We are so fucking doomed."

Radek turned to look at them, as did the other two. "We are not doomed, Rodney," he said.

"And in precisely what way are we not doomed?" Rodney snapped.

"This plan, it will work, I'm sure of it." Radek looked at Carson. "We just need your help. You can do this."

Carson pointed accusingly at Erin, angry and frightened. "She's better with the Jumpers than I am. She's a much better pilot. She--"

"--knows how to shoot a fucking P90," Rodney snarled. "Which is sort of vital at the moment. Now get over it!" He grabbed Carson by the shoulder and shoved him into the chair room. Zelenka followed them in.

"There's other people on this base that possess the Ancient gene. Dr. Kusanagi, for example. I'm sure she'd relish the opportunity to help."

Rodney glared at Carson. He was going to strangle his lover in about thirty seconds. "I am exhausted and starving, so sit down." Carson stepped up to the dais and stared at the chair. "Carson, it's out of drones," he said, resigned and immensely frustrated. "You couldn't do any damage if you wanted to." He wondered if he should kick the man.

Carson took a deep breath and Rodney gestured to the chair. Carson sat in it, but Rodney could tell he hated it. He was surprised when Carson didn't whine about anything else, but simply concentrated and lit the chair.

"Thank you," he said, relieved. "Okay, we're in business." Rodney turned to Radek. "Head on down to the Jumper bay. Radio me when you're there."

Radek nodded and hurried out. Rodney walked around behind the chair, watching as Carson grimaced uncomfortably. He wondered if it actually hurt for Carson to do this. He certainly reacted like it sometimes. Not that there was anything to do for or about it right now. There was too much else to worry about. Like impending doom.

***

Sora knew the end of it all was near. The Atlanteans guarding her weren't panicking but she could see they were afraid. The Wraith were in Atlantis. She knew that much. It was spoken in whispers and the tension in the bodies of the people around her. Their eyes were shadowed with fear and uncertainty.

And she was going home.

She wasn't sure exactly how that had been arranged. As far as she'd known, her people considered her dead, her mission failed. She would most likely be interrogated about her captivity. It wasn't a process she was looking forward to.

The Atlanteans were arrogant, certainly, but there was an odd softness to so many of them. She didn't pretend to understand them. She wasn't sure she understood Teyla Emmagan either, though as a girl she'd always admired the Athosian.

There, in the corridors of Atlantis, when Teyla had dropped the knife and gone to rescue her friend, she'd made a decision. She might not forgive Teyla for her father's death, but she could put it behind her. Commander Kolya had shown Sora that there were things about her own people, about the Genii, that were less than honorable.

She had always believed in honor. She believed in duty and in compassion. Killing the Atlantean guards rather than subduing them when they invaded the city during the great storm had been unnecessary. The Commander had deviated from their mission from the moment those shots were fired. Sora'd had more than enough time to think about all the things that had gone wrong; about all the lives they'd lost to a mere six Atlanteans.

They were arrogant and soft, but they were also resourceful in ways that her own people had never imagined. Their victory during the raid had not been a simple matter of superior technology. It was, she realized, the result of a flexibility of mind that the Genii didn't possess. It engendered a grudging admiration in her.

As she stood before the Gate, watching the Atlanteans scrambling to defend their incredible city, she hoped her own people would have the sense to ally with them. She doubted it would happen.

The Gate bloomed. Sora wondered if she would ever see the Atlanteans again.

***

Radek wiped sweat from his eyes. His entire body was buzzing from the stimulants Carson had given him. Rodney had said nothing about it but he could see his friend was in the same state. They worked frantically on the nuclear weapons they'd received from the Genii.

"Maybe I should have given them all the information," Rodney sighed. "We wouldn't be doing this if I'd just given them what they wanted."

"They tortured you, Rodney," Radek said, looking up, startled. "They would have killed you and Carson both. You said they--"

Rodney leaned his head on one forearm, resting briefly against the immense casing of the bomb. "I know, I know." He closed his eyes, one gloved hand splayed against the dull metal. "Dead then. Dead now. Dead ten minutes from now. Carson will stay until I drag him through the Gate myself; you know it as well as I do. Who the hell are we trying to fool?"

Radek pulled off one glove and reached out, laying his bare hand on Rodney's shoulder. "We are trying to fool no one. We're simply trying to save our own lives."

There was pain in Rodney's eyes when he looked over at Radek. "What good is any of this going to do? We're doomed." He slumped and closed his eyes again. "I shouldn't be in charge of this," he said softly. "You should. I keep fucking up and getting people killed."

Radek flinched at the admission. Peter's death was too recent and too raw for either of them, and he had no idea how Geoff was taking it. His lover was at the Alpha site, at least marginally safer than the people still on Atlantis. There was nothing Geoff could do here anyway. "None of this has been your fault." Radek's hand was still on Rodney's shoulder and he let it drift gently down his friend's back to his waist. "I fail to see how I, or anyone else for that matter, could have done a better job than you have so far. Well, yes, you made an error in judgment in allowing Dr. Weir to bring Kavanagh along, but you did not know him personally at the time."

Rodney snorted and a lopsided grin flashed for a moment and was gone. The brief glint tightened Radek's chest. "Enough stalling, Zelenka. Get your lazy ass back to work." Rodney straightened and stared back into the guts of the nuclear device, ignoring Radek's hand.

"I hope the Daedalus arrives soon."

Rodney reached into the bomb, shaking his head. "They'll get here half an hour after we're all dead because somebody had to fill out forms in triplicate. Typical military."

Radek drew his hand away and put his protective glove back on. "This will work. The bombs on the Jumpers, the Major pilots them remotely, poof." He gestured with his hands. "No more Wraith Hiveships." He reached into the bomb he was working on, shadowing Rodney's movements.

"Is this more of that 'if the crops don't fail there'll definitely be a blizzard' Eastern European optimism?" Rodney asked.

"Ano, yes," Radek muttered, peering at the mess before him. "Such an inefficient design. The Genii, they were stunningly close to blowing themselves up."

"Yeah, and it's a good thing we're geniuses. I built a better bomb than this in grade six." Rodney stretched onto his toes to reach into the body of the casing, making a delicate adjustment.

"I think I need a ladder." Radek grimaced as he reached into the bomb as far as he could.

Rodney looked over at him. "You need to be taller." His eyes moved up and down Radek's frame, a strange, guarded expression on his face. "Then again," he said quietly, "maybe not so much."

Radek wondered what that meant but let it go. If they survived, there were a lot of things he wanted to say to Rodney; a few things he wanted to ask.

They had hours of work left to do, and the Wraith were closing in. The battle for the city continued all around them. Siwicki and Stackhouse sat outside the door, still guarding them. He could hear them talking quietly now and then, the strain of fear in their voices as gunshots sounded in the distance.

With a quick twist of subtly trembling fingers, Radek connected wires together. Their lives hung on such small details. He prayed for enough time.

***

Carson stared at the screen, watching as the Jumper moved, cloaked, toward the Hiveships. There was a tight, sick knot in his stomach. He was cold to his marrow as the self-destruct claxon sounded sharp in his ears.

John Sheppard was in that Jumper. The hours Carson had spent in the control chair while Rodney and Radek had worked out the connections for remote controlling the craft had drained the generator that powered it.

The Major was going to commit suicide to try to save them and it was his fault. He'd kept the chair running, wasting power. Carson had always known sitting in the thing was a mistake. He wished again he'd never had the bloody gene.

Someone was going to have to fly the second Jumper. Deliver the second bomb. The only people left on Atlantis now who could fly it were Rodney and himself. Terror and expedience warred within him. There was no way he was going to let his lover fly that thing. Atlantis -- the expedition -- needed him too much. Carson, on the other hand, was expendable.

He closed his eyes and steeled himself for a final goodbye.

To Be Continued...