Your search turned up 38 hits Linda asks, As in real life, sex is easy, romance is tough. Can you share with us your view of m/m romance? What do you consider an appropriate romantic gesture? Could you suggest some romantic gifts? How about pet names or terms of endearment?I am attempting to write what I hope will be a love story, and I don't want to "over-feminize" my characters by throwing in dippy drivel like flowers and poetry. So when two grown men are in love with each other, how do they really behave in the privacy of their own home? Dear Linda, This is a tough one to answer, as it really depends on the guys in question. Some people are more "romantic" than others, and what will melt one person's heart will end up in someone else's trash. Personally, I don't see the point of flowers. They die too quickly and don't really mean much to me. A nice dinner out at a good restaurant would be more my style. Teddy bears and stuffed animals would only receive my contempt (and then be given to the cat as a playtoy), but a good book would be read and maybe even treasured (especially if it were inscribed by the giver). Fandom related stuff would work, but then I'm fen - and most of our characters aren't.As for pet names, again that depends on the guys. I called my last boyfriend "bossy cow" - because he was. The current one gets called honey, and is often referred to in conversation as "the monster boyfriend" (jokingly, and with affection) or simply "the husband".The feminization thing is awkward - most slash readers are women, but the characters are guys. Some readers want more "realistic" portrayals, some want the guys written as they wish guys really were. We (guys, that is) do tend to be less demonstative, more subtle about our affections. The tone of voice and other non-verbal cues often mean more than the words themselves. We can say "I hate you" and mean "I love you more than life itself". So in writing "realisticaly" about a male/male relationship, my advice is "less is more". Be subtle, be understated, be clear. -- Minotaur LadyRivka asks, 1.) I'm having a little trouble with writing two original characters (comic strip, short story). One is an 18 y/o juvenile delinquent of sorts who has an overbearing "womynist" mom (and cross-dresses b/c of Skinnerian reactions to his mohter); the other is a male-type sex android, created for a woman's use, who develops a "crush" (more like a sexual infatuation) on the boy above.I don't know if you know much @ SF, but how would they act in bed? They're both rather unusual characters, so should I go with my gut or write them armed with my newfound knowledge of male psychology (thanks to you)?2.) Do you ever feel that het female slash writers are intruding on your subculture? (OK, dumb question, you don't have to answer.)3.)What are your opinions on yaoi? From what I've read, they're not good...but I've noticed that American anime fans have "Westernized" the genre into more of a mainstream slash. Again, your opinions? Dear LadyRivka, 1) Well, I am pretty into SciFic, but this is a combo I've never seen before. I'd think that the android, since he was intended to be a pleasure 'droid, would be pretty knowledgeable about female psychology and physiology, and even have some knowledge of males as well - so he could better understand the women he was supposed to please. His makers might well have given him full data on men as well, to make him easier to sell...And if the boy is not just a cross-dresser but a transvestite or transsexual, he'd be wanting to be treated like a woman anyway, so the droid's programming would help him there.2) The overlap between slashdom and the gay community is pretty small - and it's mostly from the few gay guys who are into slash. So if anything, I wonder if it's the other way round. Am I intruding on your subculture?3) Yaoi is a pretty broad genre. Some of the little I've read has squicked me for one reason or another, and some has been quite good. I'm not real fond of the rather over-reaching trend to feminize one of the guys involved, but from a sociological point of view I can certainly understand why the writers do it. Yaoi isn't something I read often for my own pleasure, but I certainly don't have anything against anyone who does.As for the "Westernization" of yaoi.. While Japanese and American cultures may have many superficial similarites, there are some profound differences as well. I don't think most Americans would actually be able to identify with the characters in yaoi unless they'd been somewhat Westernized. -- Minotaur Satyr asks, a) How many (gay) males actually maintain their virginity beyond the age of 16? 18? 25? and...b) What would be the lead reasons why? Culture, location, pressure (peer)? Dear Satyr, Hmm, I wasn't able to find any sort of statistics I trusted the look of on the web, but from a purely anecdotal and personal perspective I can offer description of three "types"."The Early Bloomer" - these guys know they are gay from a *very* young age, and are more likely to loose their viginity early in life (early to late teens)."The Closet Case" - these guys either don't know that they're gay, or don't accept it. They usually loose their virginity somewhat later (mid-teens to mid-twenties)."The Late Bloomer" - these guys function as heterosexuals for a while, through college or even later, then realize they're homos and make the switch.On the whole, it's my guess that overall gay men tend to loose their virginity a few years earlier than their straight counterparts. But again, this is only my impression from my conversations with other gay guys and my own experiences. -- Minotaur Littlevera00 asks, I'm afraid this might be an incredibly simplistic? question, but please bear with me: I have a character waking up from an erotic dream - Can he awaken with an erection? Is 'can' even the right word to use here? If he can, how do I put this...how long can it last? The next scene involves him having a pretty serious conversation with his ex-partner (long, bad, very bad plot bunny) and well what happens when theres no immediate release for him? Dear Littlevera00, Waking up with a hard-on is very common, even if you aren't having erotic dreams.As to how long it will last - if it's a "morning piss hard-on", it'll stay there till he takes a leak. If it's an "erotic dream" hard-on, and he doesn't do anything with it, it'll eventually just go away. -- Minotaur
Your search turned up 38 hits
Linda asks,
As in real life, sex is easy, romance is tough. Can you share with us your view of m/m romance? What do you consider an appropriate romantic gesture? Could you suggest some romantic gifts? How about pet names or terms of endearment?I am attempting to write what I hope will be a love story, and I don't want to "over-feminize" my characters by throwing in dippy drivel like flowers and poetry. So when two grown men are in love with each other, how do they really behave in the privacy of their own home?
As in real life, sex is easy, romance is tough. Can you share with us your view of m/m romance? What do you consider an appropriate romantic gesture? Could you suggest some romantic gifts? How about pet names or terms of endearment?
I am attempting to write what I hope will be a love story, and I don't want to "over-feminize" my characters by throwing in dippy drivel like flowers and poetry. So when two grown men are in love with each other, how do they really behave in the privacy of their own home?
Dear Linda,
This is a tough one to answer, as it really depends on the guys in question. Some people are more "romantic" than others, and what will melt one person's heart will end up in someone else's trash. Personally, I don't see the point of flowers. They die too quickly and don't really mean much to me. A nice dinner out at a good restaurant would be more my style. Teddy bears and stuffed animals would only receive my contempt (and then be given to the cat as a playtoy), but a good book would be read and maybe even treasured (especially if it were inscribed by the giver). Fandom related stuff would work, but then I'm fen - and most of our characters aren't.As for pet names, again that depends on the guys. I called my last boyfriend "bossy cow" - because he was. The current one gets called honey, and is often referred to in conversation as "the monster boyfriend" (jokingly, and with affection) or simply "the husband".The feminization thing is awkward - most slash readers are women, but the characters are guys. Some readers want more "realistic" portrayals, some want the guys written as they wish guys really were. We (guys, that is) do tend to be less demonstative, more subtle about our affections. The tone of voice and other non-verbal cues often mean more than the words themselves. We can say "I hate you" and mean "I love you more than life itself". So in writing "realisticaly" about a male/male relationship, my advice is "less is more". Be subtle, be understated, be clear.
This is a tough one to answer, as it really depends on the guys in question. Some people are more "romantic" than others, and what will melt one person's heart will end up in someone else's trash. Personally, I don't see the point of flowers. They die too quickly and don't really mean much to me. A nice dinner out at a good restaurant would be more my style. Teddy bears and stuffed animals would only receive my contempt (and then be given to the cat as a playtoy), but a good book would be read and maybe even treasured (especially if it were inscribed by the giver). Fandom related stuff would work, but then I'm fen - and most of our characters aren't.
As for pet names, again that depends on the guys. I called my last boyfriend "bossy cow" - because he was. The current one gets called honey, and is often referred to in conversation as "the monster boyfriend" (jokingly, and with affection) or simply "the husband".
The feminization thing is awkward - most slash readers are women, but the characters are guys. Some readers want more "realistic" portrayals, some want the guys written as they wish guys really were. We (guys, that is) do tend to be less demonstative, more subtle about our affections. The tone of voice and other non-verbal cues often mean more than the words themselves. We can say "I hate you" and mean "I love you more than life itself". So in writing "realisticaly" about a male/male relationship, my advice is "less is more". Be subtle, be understated, be clear.
-- Minotaur
LadyRivka asks,
1.) I'm having a little trouble with writing two original characters (comic strip, short story). One is an 18 y/o juvenile delinquent of sorts who has an overbearing "womynist" mom (and cross-dresses b/c of Skinnerian reactions to his mohter); the other is a male-type sex android, created for a woman's use, who develops a "crush" (more like a sexual infatuation) on the boy above.I don't know if you know much @ SF, but how would they act in bed? They're both rather unusual characters, so should I go with my gut or write them armed with my newfound knowledge of male psychology (thanks to you)?2.) Do you ever feel that het female slash writers are intruding on your subculture? (OK, dumb question, you don't have to answer.)3.)What are your opinions on yaoi? From what I've read, they're not good...but I've noticed that American anime fans have "Westernized" the genre into more of a mainstream slash. Again, your opinions?
1.) I'm having a little trouble with writing two original characters (comic strip, short story). One is an 18 y/o juvenile delinquent of sorts who has an overbearing "womynist" mom (and cross-dresses b/c of Skinnerian reactions to his mohter); the other is a male-type sex android, created for a woman's use, who develops a "crush" (more like a sexual infatuation) on the boy above.
I don't know if you know much @ SF, but how would they act in bed? They're both rather unusual characters, so should I go with my gut or write them armed with my newfound knowledge of male psychology (thanks to you)?
2.) Do you ever feel that het female slash writers are intruding on your subculture? (OK, dumb question, you don't have to answer.)
3.)What are your opinions on yaoi? From what I've read, they're not good...but I've noticed that American anime fans have "Westernized" the genre into more of a mainstream slash. Again, your opinions?
Dear LadyRivka,
1) Well, I am pretty into SciFic, but this is a combo I've never seen before. I'd think that the android, since he was intended to be a pleasure 'droid, would be pretty knowledgeable about female psychology and physiology, and even have some knowledge of males as well - so he could better understand the women he was supposed to please. His makers might well have given him full data on men as well, to make him easier to sell...And if the boy is not just a cross-dresser but a transvestite or transsexual, he'd be wanting to be treated like a woman anyway, so the droid's programming would help him there.2) The overlap between slashdom and the gay community is pretty small - and it's mostly from the few gay guys who are into slash. So if anything, I wonder if it's the other way round. Am I intruding on your subculture?3) Yaoi is a pretty broad genre. Some of the little I've read has squicked me for one reason or another, and some has been quite good. I'm not real fond of the rather over-reaching trend to feminize one of the guys involved, but from a sociological point of view I can certainly understand why the writers do it. Yaoi isn't something I read often for my own pleasure, but I certainly don't have anything against anyone who does.As for the "Westernization" of yaoi.. While Japanese and American cultures may have many superficial similarites, there are some profound differences as well. I don't think most Americans would actually be able to identify with the characters in yaoi unless they'd been somewhat Westernized.
1) Well, I am pretty into SciFic, but this is a combo I've never seen before. I'd think that the android, since he was intended to be a pleasure 'droid, would be pretty knowledgeable about female psychology and physiology, and even have some knowledge of males as well - so he could better understand the women he was supposed to please. His makers might well have given him full data on men as well, to make him easier to sell...
And if the boy is not just a cross-dresser but a transvestite or transsexual, he'd be wanting to be treated like a woman anyway, so the droid's programming would help him there.
2) The overlap between slashdom and the gay community is pretty small - and it's mostly from the few gay guys who are into slash. So if anything, I wonder if it's the other way round. Am I intruding on your subculture?
3) Yaoi is a pretty broad genre. Some of the little I've read has squicked me for one reason or another, and some has been quite good. I'm not real fond of the rather over-reaching trend to feminize one of the guys involved, but from a sociological point of view I can certainly understand why the writers do it. Yaoi isn't something I read often for my own pleasure, but I certainly don't have anything against anyone who does.
As for the "Westernization" of yaoi.. While Japanese and American cultures may have many superficial similarites, there are some profound differences as well. I don't think most Americans would actually be able to identify with the characters in yaoi unless they'd been somewhat Westernized.
Satyr asks,
a) How many (gay) males actually maintain their virginity beyond the age of 16? 18? 25? and...b) What would be the lead reasons why? Culture, location, pressure (peer)?
a) How many (gay) males actually maintain their virginity beyond the age of 16? 18? 25? and...
b) What would be the lead reasons why? Culture, location, pressure (peer)?
Dear Satyr,
Hmm, I wasn't able to find any sort of statistics I trusted the look of on the web, but from a purely anecdotal and personal perspective I can offer description of three "types"."The Early Bloomer" - these guys know they are gay from a *very* young age, and are more likely to loose their viginity early in life (early to late teens)."The Closet Case" - these guys either don't know that they're gay, or don't accept it. They usually loose their virginity somewhat later (mid-teens to mid-twenties)."The Late Bloomer" - these guys function as heterosexuals for a while, through college or even later, then realize they're homos and make the switch.On the whole, it's my guess that overall gay men tend to loose their virginity a few years earlier than their straight counterparts. But again, this is only my impression from my conversations with other gay guys and my own experiences.
Hmm, I wasn't able to find any sort of statistics I trusted the look of on the web, but from a purely anecdotal and personal perspective I can offer description of three "types".
"The Early Bloomer" - these guys know they are gay from a *very* young age, and are more likely to loose their viginity early in life (early to late teens).
"The Closet Case" - these guys either don't know that they're gay, or don't accept it. They usually loose their virginity somewhat later (mid-teens to mid-twenties).
"The Late Bloomer" - these guys function as heterosexuals for a while, through college or even later, then realize they're homos and make the switch.
On the whole, it's my guess that overall gay men tend to loose their virginity a few years earlier than their straight counterparts. But again, this is only my impression from my conversations with other gay guys and my own experiences.
Littlevera00 asks,
I'm afraid this might be an incredibly simplistic? question, but please bear with me: I have a character waking up from an erotic dream - Can he awaken with an erection? Is 'can' even the right word to use here? If he can, how do I put this...how long can it last? The next scene involves him having a pretty serious conversation with his ex-partner (long, bad, very bad plot bunny) and well what happens when theres no immediate release for him?
Dear Littlevera00,
Waking up with a hard-on is very common, even if you aren't having erotic dreams.As to how long it will last - if it's a "morning piss hard-on", it'll stay there till he takes a leak. If it's an "erotic dream" hard-on, and he doesn't do anything with it, it'll eventually just go away.
Waking up with a hard-on is very common, even if you aren't having erotic dreams.
As to how long it will last - if it's a "morning piss hard-on", it'll stay there till he takes a leak. If it's an "erotic dream" hard-on, and he doesn't do anything with it, it'll eventually just go away.
