Your search turned up 8 hits Dawn asks, I've heard of a technique in which you actually hum...I've also heard of blow jobs referred to fleetingly as 'hummers'. What info do you have on that? Is that all there is to it, just humming while performing oral sex? Dear Dawn, "Hummers" as a term for a blow job is more a straight guy term, at least the only people I've ever heard use the term were hets. So far as I know, the actual technique of "humming" is just that - humming while you work (so to speak...). I suppose if you were particularly into it you could vary the tune - see if he gets off more on Mahler or Madonna.... -- Minotaur Eve asks, I'm curious. There are movies, TV shows, and books where a gay man will get drunk and sleep with a woman, or sometimes sleep with a woman who's a friend if she really likes him, etc. Would a gay man be able to be aroused by woman if he was sober, or would her body actually "turn him off"? Would it make a difference if he was drunk? Personally I'm not turned on by other women even if I'm drunk, so it never made sense to me why a drunk gay man would suddenly be able to perform against his preferences. Dear Eve, This is because sexuality isn't binary. Most people aren't *either* straight or gay, they're somewhere in between. Back in the 1960's there was a famous study of human sexuality done by Dr. Kinsey, in which he rated people on a scale from 0 to 6 - with 0 being completely heterosexual, no thoughts, dreams, desires or experiences with members of the same gender, and 6 being completely homosexual, no thoughts, dreams, desires or experiences with the opposite gender. They found that only about 6% of the population fell at either end of this scale - everyone else lay somewhere in between. So there are plenty of guys who identify as "gay", and 99.9999999999% of their partners are men, but occasionally that desire for a woman rears its head (so to speak) and since alcohol is a dis-inhibitor, being drunk would let a guy act on these feelings.Also, keep in mind that many gay men have had sex with women - before they came out they may have been involved with women, even married to one. So this may not be the first time, and the behavior not so much a change, as a slipping backwards.Then there's also the question of what the TV show or book is really trying to say with this. Is it a plot point, or is there some buried homophobia going on? Is the character being used to illustrate some issue the author wants to talk about, or is he just being used to advance some other character's development?And finally, remember the old joke..Q: What's the difference between a straight frat boy and a gay one?A: Two six packs. -- Minotaur Zuzanny asks, What difference is there between anal sex between m/m and m/f? Apart from obvious body parts either there to play with or not... would it feel the same for the 'pitcher'? Dear Zuzanny, For the "pitcher", probably not much difference. The anus is the same for guys and girls (except for the prostate), so it shouldn't make much difference to what the top feels. -- Minotaur Claire asks, I like the romantic, obsessive, hurt/comfort stories. I really need a declaration of 'it's only you and it's for ever'. But out there in the real world I know it isn't like that - I just have to look at the marriages around me. But does it happen? Are there real Jims and Blairs out there? In my community I have no references to the gay life style - that's why I'm being so forward - 'we do not speak of such things, even among ourselves'! Secondly, doesn't all that activity in the nether regions cause some sort of medical problems, I don't just mean infections, in later life? Now that's really forward! I'm just SO curious. I have an uncle who is a martyr to his digestive tract and I know it's nothing to do with his sex life. Dear Claire, If by real Jim&Blair's you mean couples who are devoted to one another and stay together for long periods, then yes. My best friend has been coupled for 13 years, and I know other pairs that have been together even longer. If you mean two formerly straight guys who discover they love one another and have a physical relationship, then no. Or at least I've never met any. It's perfectly possible that there are some out there, but I would think they wouldn't socialize much in the gay community, and I don't even know if they could be considered gay. I do know one couple, a gay guy who fell in love with his straight best friend, who eventually came to return the feelings. They lived together as lovers for about three years, though the "straight" guy would never take the receptive position in sex, and didn't like letting people know about their relationship. Unfortunately, the relationship ended very badly, but what would you expect from such a pairing? As for the possibility of medical problems due to anal sex, they are very low. The anal sphincter is a muscle, and can be trained by exercise. With experience comes conscious control of that muscle, and the ability to relax and contract it at will. In fact, there are some medical studies that suggest that regular prostate massage can reduce the risk of prostate cancer (nothing definitive yet, but why take chances). Of course, as we get older we all start to fall apart, no matter what sort of sexual activities we indulge in. Thanks for the offer on QAF, but I've already put in my order with someone else for VHS copies. -- Minotaur
Your search turned up 8 hits
Dawn asks,
I've heard of a technique in which you actually hum...I've also heard of blow jobs referred to fleetingly as 'hummers'. What info do you have on that? Is that all there is to it, just humming while performing oral sex?
Dear Dawn,
"Hummers" as a term for a blow job is more a straight guy term, at least the only people I've ever heard use the term were hets. So far as I know, the actual technique of "humming" is just that - humming while you work (so to speak...). I suppose if you were particularly into it you could vary the tune - see if he gets off more on Mahler or Madonna....
-- Minotaur
Eve asks,
I'm curious. There are movies, TV shows, and books where a gay man will get drunk and sleep with a woman, or sometimes sleep with a woman who's a friend if she really likes him, etc. Would a gay man be able to be aroused by woman if he was sober, or would her body actually "turn him off"? Would it make a difference if he was drunk? Personally I'm not turned on by other women even if I'm drunk, so it never made sense to me why a drunk gay man would suddenly be able to perform against his preferences.
Dear Eve,
This is because sexuality isn't binary. Most people aren't *either* straight or gay, they're somewhere in between. Back in the 1960's there was a famous study of human sexuality done by Dr. Kinsey, in which he rated people on a scale from 0 to 6 - with 0 being completely heterosexual, no thoughts, dreams, desires or experiences with members of the same gender, and 6 being completely homosexual, no thoughts, dreams, desires or experiences with the opposite gender. They found that only about 6% of the population fell at either end of this scale - everyone else lay somewhere in between. So there are plenty of guys who identify as "gay", and 99.9999999999% of their partners are men, but occasionally that desire for a woman rears its head (so to speak) and since alcohol is a dis-inhibitor, being drunk would let a guy act on these feelings.Also, keep in mind that many gay men have had sex with women - before they came out they may have been involved with women, even married to one. So this may not be the first time, and the behavior not so much a change, as a slipping backwards.Then there's also the question of what the TV show or book is really trying to say with this. Is it a plot point, or is there some buried homophobia going on? Is the character being used to illustrate some issue the author wants to talk about, or is he just being used to advance some other character's development?And finally, remember the old joke..Q: What's the difference between a straight frat boy and a gay one?A: Two six packs.
This is because sexuality isn't binary. Most people aren't *either* straight or gay, they're somewhere in between. Back in the 1960's there was a famous study of human sexuality done by Dr. Kinsey, in which he rated people on a scale from 0 to 6 - with 0 being completely heterosexual, no thoughts, dreams, desires or experiences with members of the same gender, and 6 being completely homosexual, no thoughts, dreams, desires or experiences with the opposite gender. They found that only about 6% of the population fell at either end of this scale - everyone else lay somewhere in between. So there are plenty of guys who identify as "gay", and 99.9999999999% of their partners are men, but occasionally that desire for a woman rears its head (so to speak) and since alcohol is a dis-inhibitor, being drunk would let a guy act on these feelings.
Also, keep in mind that many gay men have had sex with women - before they came out they may have been involved with women, even married to one. So this may not be the first time, and the behavior not so much a change, as a slipping backwards.
Then there's also the question of what the TV show or book is really trying to say with this. Is it a plot point, or is there some buried homophobia going on? Is the character being used to illustrate some issue the author wants to talk about, or is he just being used to advance some other character's development?
And finally, remember the old joke..Q: What's the difference between a straight frat boy and a gay one?A: Two six packs.
Zuzanny asks,
What difference is there between anal sex between m/m and m/f? Apart from obvious body parts either there to play with or not... would it feel the same for the 'pitcher'?
Dear Zuzanny,
For the "pitcher", probably not much difference. The anus is the same for guys and girls (except for the prostate), so it shouldn't make much difference to what the top feels.
Claire asks,
I like the romantic, obsessive, hurt/comfort stories. I really need a declaration of 'it's only you and it's for ever'. But out there in the real world I know it isn't like that - I just have to look at the marriages around me. But does it happen? Are there real Jims and Blairs out there? In my community I have no references to the gay life style - that's why I'm being so forward - 'we do not speak of such things, even among ourselves'! Secondly, doesn't all that activity in the nether regions cause some sort of medical problems, I don't just mean infections, in later life? Now that's really forward! I'm just SO curious. I have an uncle who is a martyr to his digestive tract and I know it's nothing to do with his sex life.
Dear Claire,
If by real Jim&Blair's you mean couples who are devoted to one another and stay together for long periods, then yes. My best friend has been coupled for 13 years, and I know other pairs that have been together even longer. If you mean two formerly straight guys who discover they love one another and have a physical relationship, then no. Or at least I've never met any. It's perfectly possible that there are some out there, but I would think they wouldn't socialize much in the gay community, and I don't even know if they could be considered gay. I do know one couple, a gay guy who fell in love with his straight best friend, who eventually came to return the feelings. They lived together as lovers for about three years, though the "straight" guy would never take the receptive position in sex, and didn't like letting people know about their relationship. Unfortunately, the relationship ended very badly, but what would you expect from such a pairing? As for the possibility of medical problems due to anal sex, they are very low. The anal sphincter is a muscle, and can be trained by exercise. With experience comes conscious control of that muscle, and the ability to relax and contract it at will. In fact, there are some medical studies that suggest that regular prostate massage can reduce the risk of prostate cancer (nothing definitive yet, but why take chances). Of course, as we get older we all start to fall apart, no matter what sort of sexual activities we indulge in. Thanks for the offer on QAF, but I've already put in my order with someone else for VHS copies.
If by real Jim&Blair's you mean couples who are devoted to one another and stay together for long periods, then yes. My best friend has been coupled for 13 years, and I know other pairs that have been together even longer. If you mean two formerly straight guys who discover they love one another and have a physical relationship, then no. Or at least I've never met any. It's perfectly possible that there are some out there, but I would think they wouldn't socialize much in the gay community, and I don't even know if they could be considered gay.
I do know one couple, a gay guy who fell in love with his straight best friend, who eventually came to return the feelings. They lived together as lovers for about three years, though the "straight" guy would never take the receptive position in sex, and didn't like letting people know about their relationship. Unfortunately, the relationship ended very badly, but what would you expect from such a pairing?
As for the possibility of medical problems due to anal sex, they are very low. The anal sphincter is a muscle, and can be trained by exercise. With experience comes conscious control of that muscle, and the ability to relax and contract it at will. In fact, there are some medical studies that suggest that regular prostate massage can reduce the risk of prostate cancer (nothing definitive yet, but why take chances). Of course, as we get older we all start to fall apart, no matter what sort of sexual activities we indulge in.
Thanks for the offer on QAF, but I've already put in my order with someone else for VHS copies.
