He forced himself to keep the anger out of his own eyes and waited until Crion realized he would get no reaction. The older man finally turned his attention back to his meal, leaving Qui-Gon to eat in peace. Or as close to peace as he could get after all he'd learned during the course of the day. Crion spent the rest of the meal talking to his son, ignoring Qui-Gon as if he wasn't even there.
At the end of the meal, Crion stood up. "Feel up to a walk, son?"
"Sorry, father, I have other plans." Xanatos gave his master a slight smile, one that hinted at further amusement behind it. Crion spared one last glare for Qui-Gon before he shrugged and grumbled something to his son about seeing him in the morning.
After Crion left, Qui-Gon turned to his apprentice. "Well? What are these plans you've been teasing me with all day?"
"If I told you now it would ruin the surprise." The smile on his face broke into a wide grin as he stood and moved around the table to hold out his hand to his master. "Come. Let me show you instead."
The rich, seductive tone of Xanatos' voice sent an involuntary shiver through Qui-Gon's body. If only he could just ignore everything else but the promise in his padawan's slow, sensuous movements, the guarantee of pleasure he could read in the young man's eyes. If only they could go back in time and refuse this mission.
If only he didn't have to choose between duty and his padawan.
All the wishing in the world wouldn't change reality. Focus on the present; that was all he could control. That thought in mind, he took his padawan's hand and followed him out of the house.
Xanatos led him back through the gardens to a path that took them to a thick patch of drooping trees. He'd never seen this area of the grounds before.
"This spot has always been reserved for the governor, his family, and special guests. My father showed it to me not long after we arrived." He parted the leaves and branches and walked through, holding the branches aside until Qui-Gon joined him on the other side. "It was just after dusk, and all I could think was that I had to bring you here. But at night, when it would be perfect."
The trees surrounding the area appeared wilted at first glance, but as Qui-Gon reached out through the Force he felt the strong sense of life thrumming from them, as well as from the grass surrounding the centerpiece of the whole site--a small lake, just barely too large to call a pond. He closed his eyes, drinking in the sensation of the living Force, and with it the smells of life everywhere. The trees--some of which held a blooming flower that smelled sweet, almost like honey--the sharp scent of the grass, and the faint smell of the water all combined to shut out the over-processed world outside and create an illusion that they were isolated from anyone or anything.
As he opened his eyes again, he almost kept himself from wishing that were the case. "This place is truly beautiful," he said softly, unwilling to break the mood by speaking too loudly.
"You haven't seen the best part," Xanatos whispered back. He reached over with two fingers and tipped his master's head up by his chin until the older man could see the sky.
Qui-Gon blinked at the beauty of the stars, brighter here than anywhere he'd seen on Telos or Nardir. "They're amazing," he breathed.
"Aircraft are carefully diverted from this section of airspace, and lighting in the city has been designed to keep the glow here to a minimum," Xanatos murmured as he circled behind his master. His hand slid down the older man's check to rest on his neck. "The intent was to create a place rulers could go to shut out the world and be alone with their thoughts." His mouth was close to Qui-Gon's ear now, lips moving against the lobe, sending fine tremors down the Jedi Master's spine. "Somewhere they could think on their decisions with no distractions, and commune with nature when the pressures of people become too much."
Hands tugged off Qui-Gon's robe. He twisted his neck, seeking his padawan's eyes over his shoulder, but before he could say a word, fingers touched his lips. "Shhh," Xanatos urged. "Don't speak. Don't think. Just feel."
His outer tunic disappeared, followed by the under tunic, fingers touching his bare skin as the clothing slid off, creating tiny bumps all over, and then he was bare to the waist. Xanatos' chest pressed against his master's back as his hands slid slowly around Qui-Gon's sides, up his chest and back down to rest at his waistband, fingering the tie there, but making no move to loosen it.
Just as Qui-Gon was about to speak again, lips fastened on his neck. He gasped in surprise, back arching automatically, pushing his hips back against the younger man's erection, obvious even through both of their leggings. Where lips had robbed the Jedi master of speech, teeth momentarily robbed him of coherent thought. His hands reached up to thread through the dark hair of the younger man, the fingers of his right hand latching onto the padawan braid, looping it around his forefinger as he held his apprentice's head in place, urging him to continue.
Xanatos' lips and teeth moved down Qui-Gon's shoulder, meeting with little resistance as he loosened his hold enough to allow the movement. The braid slipped through his fingers, but he was too lost in sensation to bother to chase it. As long as those magical lips and teeth continued their work, he would not protest anything.
After a moment, Xanatos moved around in front of his master, kissing his way across his master's shoulder, licking a line down to one nipple. He tugged at the tip with his teeth, tongue flicking across it lightly before he released it and moved quickly to the other one. Once the young man had teased there, he tasted his way down the middle of Qui-Gon's chest, stopping to loosen the ties of his leggings and drag them down to the tops of his boots.
The boots were removed carefully, with a light caress across the bottom of each foot that sent twin lightning bolts of pleasure straight to Qui-Gon's hardening shaft. He gripped his padawan's head again, this time to keep from falling over from sheer pleasure as Xanatos licked along the underside of his erection.
A strangled sound escaped his throat as Xanatos stood, but before Qui-Gon could protest further, his lips were captured in a searing kiss. He pulled at his padawan's clothes, wanting the sensation of skin against skin, needing to touch every inch of the younger man.
Boots and clothes discarded, Xanatos slid his fingertips down his master's arms, and grasped his hands to pull the older man toward the lake, his gaze locked on Qui-Gon's face. They continued into the water until it reached chest level, then Xanatos stopped.
"Padawan--"
Again Qui-Gon's mouth was covered. "Shhh. No talking, remember?" He gave his master no time to disobey, replacing his hand with his lips, devouring the older man's mouth with his own.
Qui-Gon stopped fighting his instincts and gave in. If this was all he was to have.... That thought was enough to drive him to tighten his arms around Xanatos' body, pulling him as close as he could get. Their erections rubbed together in the water, the slick wetness minimizing the friction, keeping the movement from giving him the sensation he craved.
He reached down to wrap his hand around both shafts, but Xanatos stopped him. "No."
Words denied him, Qui-Gon tried to turn his padawan around, but Xanatos shook his head and held his ground. "Follow me." He backed up a few more steps, pulling his master with him, then stopped suddenly. Qui-Gon felt behind the younger man and realized there was a large rock behind him, one that nearly reached the top of the water.
He lifted Xanatos up onto the edge of the rock in one swift movement, their lips meeting again in a frenetic kiss as Qui-Gon impatiently tried to prepare the younger man for his entry. Xanatos refused to wait, pushing his master's hands away and pulling his hips closer, a silent plea.
With one last look into his padawan's eyes, Qui-Gon entered him slowly. Xanatos leaned into his thrusts, speeding them, lips and tongue meeting Qui-Gon's with a sense of urgency. The Jedi Master's hands gripped his student's hips, as he fastened his teeth on the younger man's shoulder, marking him with a reminder that would last for days.
Their pace increased until they could move no faster. Xanatos kissed his master deeply, then stretched back across the rock, his body arching as Qui-Gon drove all the way into him, burying himself to the hilt. Dimly, he felt the bruising pressure of Xanatos fingers as they dug into his forearms, anchoring him to meet each thrust with his own strength. The water moved around them, the splashing the only sound save harsh breaths and incoherent mumblings as the two Jedi drove toward completion.
One final thrust and Qui-Gon froze, spilling himself inside his padawan, concentrating on the immense pleasure, drawing it out as long as he could. Finally spent, he collapsed along the length of his padawan's upper body for a moment, breaths coming in gasps as he calmed himself.
He realized after a moment that Xanatos was still hard beneath him, writhing against Qui-Gon's chest in an attempt to bring about his own release. Qui-Gon smiled and kissed his way down his padawan's chest to his shaft, taking the younger man all the way into his mouth, sucking hard as he worked his head up and down, bringing him over the edge in moments.
Qui-Gon covered his padawan's body with his own for a long moment, his head on Xanatos' chest, breathing in the scent of the young man. The water lapped at them in waves, cooling their heated bodies as reality slowly intruded. Qui-Gon wondered just what truth really beat in the heart he could hear pounding beneath his ear. Part of him wished never to find out. If only they could just live in this one moment in time, it could be perfect.
Another second passed, and the moment was gone. Xanatos stirred beneath him, pushing lightly to get his master to move so he could stand up. His body slid against the older man's as he rose from the rock, pausing for a last kiss before the young man sidestepped and moved toward the shore. He kept hold of Qui-Gon's hand, pulling him along. "We should go inside," he said, handing Qui-Gon his leggings before reaching for his own clothes.
"Yes. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow." A mastery of understatement if ever there was one. It would be the biggest day of his life. He would either win the battle, or lose the war. And if he lost the war, with it went everything he'd cared about for the last ten years.
It was a long, silent walk back to the main house.
***
Consciousness came slowly the next morning, beckoning like a beacon of light through the dark haze of his dreams. As Qui-Gon became more aware of his surroundings, he realized he was alone in the big bed. The spot beside him was still warm, so his padawan hadn't been gone long.
Just as he was about to get up and go search for the young man, the door opened, and Xanatos walked in. "Good morning, Master."
Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows as he saw the tray in his apprentice's hands. "You brought breakfast?"
"You don't have to sound so surprised. It's not as if I cooked it myself. I just brought it up from the kitchen."
"Isn't that what the servants are for?" Qui-Gon asked, teasing as the young man placed the tray carefully on the bed and sat down.
Xanatos grinned. "I admit I've been a bit casual about accepting such an easy lifestyle, including my taking the servants for granted. However, I have not forgotten how to take care of my master," he added, leaning in for a kiss.
"You certainly have managed to take care of me." He suppressed a shiver at the thought of just how far Xanatos might have gone 'taking care' of him if he hadn't discovered Crion's plan.
"An easy and rewarding job, I assure you." A longer kiss then, before Xanatos rose from the bed. "Father is going on camera to talk to the people again in just a little while, and he's invited us to watch if we like."
"I would like that." In reality, he would have preferred to use the Force to make his apprentice sleep and drag him off the planet. But he did not have that option.
"Excellent! I'm going to take a shower while you eat. If you eat fast, you're welcome to join me."
Qui-Gon watched the young man as he disappeared into the bathroom, banishing the images of their previous joint shower from his mind. He focused on his food, not hungry, not tasting anything, but forcing himself to eat nonetheless. Without a doubt, he would need his strength on this day more than ever before.
He ate slowly, anxious to have a good reason for not joining his padawan in the shower. As tempting as it was, he'd told himself at the lake the night before that that part of their life ended there. It would forever stay behind at that lake, cut off from the rest of the galaxy, where he would not have to deal with the memories or the desires.
Unless, of course, things went well, and he left the planet with Xanatos in tow.
Shaking his head, he rose to dress. He could not think of success or failure, and what either would mean. The fight would end however it ended, and he had little control over that. The Force would guide him, and things would happen as the Force dictated.
Belief in a higher power certainly had its advantages.
Once dressed, Qui-Gon placed most of his belongings in his pack, leaving just enough lying around that Xanatos wouldn't notice. He could easily throw those few things into the pack and make a quick escape if that became necessary. He also made sure the recording from the previous day on his comlink was at just the right point in Crion's speech. Then there was nothing left to do but wait.
When his apprentice came out of the bathroom, Qui-Gon was ready and sitting calmly on the bed. "You did not feel like joining me?"
"Later," he said with a smile, kissing the younger man lightly on the lips. "When we have time for a proper shower." He hoped, as Xanatos smiled and turned for the door, that they would actually have that option.
***
Crion was waiting for them in his study, the lights already turned up for the holo recorders, the desk tidy and presentable, no hint of chaos anywhere--a perfectly respectable scene. The governor spared a quick glare for Qui-Gon before smiling at his son in greeting. Xanatos nodded to his father as he joined Qui-Gon in the seats near the desk, just out of reach of the recorders.
As they waited for the introduction to finish and the holo recorders to start carrying across the country, Qui-Gon felt an urge to fidget unlike any he'd had since his padawan days. He kept his hands still only with a supreme effort, and his feet managed to tap impatiently no matter how much he tried to control them. Xanatos glanced at him, raising his eyebrows at the uncharacteristic impatience, but Qui-Gon gave him a blank look, and projected just enough lust through the bond to give the younger man the idea that his impatience had nothing to do with the matter at hand.
Finally, the holo recorders began to whir. Crion smiled into the main lens, then began to read his carefully prepared speech from the scrolling screen just to the left of the recorder. "My fellow Telosians, despite my many efforts to negotiate a fair contract with the people of Nardir, they have once again stalled the discussions and made no move toward another talk. Given the games they have played with us over the last few months, and their obvious desire to hang onto a contract where they are the main beneficiaries as opposed to negotiating one that is fair, I see no other course of action except to take what is ours by force. I come before you today to announce that if contract negotiations do not begin by the end of the day, Telos will be instituting military action against Nardir."
A slight pause to allow the gravity of the situation to sink into the minds of the people, then Crion continued. "I realize many of you have friends on Nardir, and I hope, should we be forced to take action, that no one will be harmed. I wish this could be different; however, given the circumstances, the time has come where we have no choice."
The time had indeed come. Qui-Gon jumped up, pulling his lightsaber from his belt and using Force-enhanced speed to make it to Crion's side before Xanatos could react. As he used the Force to pin Crion to his chair, he held the 'saber at the ready, his thumb on the switch, and spoke to the holo recorder. "People of Telos, I am Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Your governor lies. He has been the true cause of the delays in negotiations. The contract with Nardir is more than fair; in fact, it benefits Telos far more than your neighboring country. The governor, however, seeks to force the people of Nardir to submit to his own will and create more wealth for himself in the process. But don't believe me--listen to him."
Qui-Gon flicked the comlink on and held it up to the microphone. Crion's voice poured out into the room. "The people already believe Nardir is to blame for the delays. Tomorrow, I will tell them we have no other choice, and declare war through an announcement on camera. Once I do that, the people will be straining to go to war. Telos will have the science, the resources, and the factories, and the people will be rich. The fools will love me for it, and they'll never realize how much wealth I gain from it."
He turned off the comlink. "I call upon you to vote to remove your governor from office and elect an official who has the best interests of Telos at heart instead of his own." With that statement, Qui-Gon ignited his 'saber and severed the cords to the recorders and the sound system, cutting off Crion's only way of attempting to sway public opinion in his favor.
Crion immediately began sputtering, careful not to move too close to the Jedi Master, but beyond monitoring his movement somewhere in his mind, Qui-Gon gave him little attention. His eyes met those of his apprentice, who was looking at him with hurt and bewilderment. "Master, what has gotten into you? I don't know how you could have come by such a horrible recording, but I assure you--"
Qui-Gon resumed the playback on the comlink. "We gain, Father. We."
"Of course. Assuming your master doesn't mess this up."
"I told you to leave him to me. I can handle him. I've handled him so far, haven't I?"
He switched the sound off again, eyes never leaving his padawan's. Slowly, the innocent look faded, and the anger burning in the midnight blue gaze was nearly enough to convince him then and there that the young man was beyond saving. "You lied to me," Xanatos growled.
"Oh, and you were truthful to me?"
"An eye for an eye has never been the Jedi way."
"Nor has deception. Or lies. Or violence. Or personal gain. I could go on."
Xanatos' eyes narrowed to mere slits. "I wouldn't if I were you." He pulled out his own lightsaber, powering up the blade and aiming it in Qui-Gon's direction. "You have five minutes to get out of the palace."
For a long moment, Qui-Gon stared at the young man. "Come with me," he whispered hoarsely at last, eyes pleading with his padawan to make the right choice.
The young man laughed harshly. "Come with you? Back to a life of servitude, of bowing to the Council's will and going wherever they deem necessary for the rest of my days with no real home or family?" He laughed again, then took a step forward, all traces of amusement gone. "You have four and a half minutes," he said, the corners of his mouth quirking up. "Better run."
One last look, and Qui-Gon moved backwards out of the room, protecting himself from the front, feeling out with the Force to ensure he did not need protection from behind. He ran to his room, put the rest of his things in his pack, and hurried out of the residence in two minutes, not trusting Xanatos to give him a full five minutes before coming after him. He could no longer believe anything the young man said.
Perhaps he never should have believed anything Xanatos had said. If he hadn't been so blind, it was possible none of this would have had to happen.
He pushed his own feelings aside, living purely in each moment, duty sustaining him when emotion would have ripped him apart. Time enough to deal with everything that had happened later, when he, Telos and Nardir were safe. Until then, Xanatos was just another evil in the galaxy. And Qui-Gon was alone, with no one to cover his back.
Or perhaps he was not completely alone after all. He rounded a corner a block from the governor's quarters and ran into a large group of citizens. The anger from the group was rippling through the Force in waves, something he would have noticed sooner if he had not been so wrapped up in his own thoughts. The people stopped when they saw him. "Master Jedi," a young blonde man began, "we wish to thank you for opening our eyes to what has been going on for the last few months."
"Somehow I doubt you all came down here just to thank me. Especially not with weapons."
The man's mouth tightened. "No. We're going to take care of the governor ourselves."
"You're going to take care of him?" Qui-Gon counted the group. "There aren't even thirty of you, and you're not trained. The guards outside the governor's residence would defeat you before you ever made it to the inner regions of the building."
"Maybe. Maybe not. But we have sat back and allowed him to do as he pleases for too long, and we will be complacent no longer."
"And a lot of good it will do your families during your funerals." Qui-Gon closed his eyes for a moment, thinking quickly. This was his fault in so many ways. He had not paid attention, and he had let things get out of hand. While he wasn't the one to blame for the event, he was partly responsible for the severity at this point. His eyes opened again, and he knew what he had to do. "I will help you."
The man nodded. "You'll come with us then?"
"You can't storm in there like this. That hasn't changed. Even my help would not be enough. You need to gather more forces and plan."
"Every moment we waste he gets closer to gathering his army and becoming unstoppable."
"I overheard his plans yesterday. The army is not due in until tomorrow. Even a few hours will make all the difference to you if you plan well."
After a long look at the other members of the group, the leader nodded. "We will wait and plan. But only for a few hours."
"Agreed. Do you have a place we can use as a headquarters?" The man nodded. "Then let's go."
***
With Qui-Gon's help, it took only a few hours for the group of citizens to come up with a plan to get into the residence and get to the governor. Qui-Gon was fairly certain that Crion would be in his study when they attacked; however small groups were being dispatched to a few other key locations, just in case he was elsewhere.
In the time it had taken to plan, their ranks had grown to over sixty Telosians.
The blonde man who had first spoken to Qui-Gon had become the leader by default, as he'd explained while they walked to the makeshift headquarters. Denis had been a member of the volunteer peacekeeping force as part of the mandatory country service all Telosian citizens were required to perform. He and four other men joined Qui-Gon at the rough map he'd drawn of the governor's quarters.
"These are a few of my buddies from my peacekeeper days."
Qui-Gon glanced up at the group. "You were all peacekeepers?" At their nods, he turned to Denis, "Good. Send one with each detachment breaking off to find the governor." Denis agreed and began explaining the mission as they walked off, leaving Qui-Gon alone.
He took one last look at the map of the building he knew by memory. They were ready. Or as read as they could be. So why did he still feel so concerned?
Perhaps because he was sending over sixty mostly untrained citizens into a battle. Or at least aiding them in the fight. The fact that they would have gone anyway--and with fewer numbers and less preparation--was irrelevant. He had helped with the plan. Not to mention that his padawan was now one of Crion's greatest strengths.
"Master Jinn?"
Qui-Gon turned to see Denis heading toward him. "Yes?"
"It's time."
The entire group was looking at him as if waiting for something. He realized they were expecting him to say a few words before the battle. He'd heard leaders rally their troops on several worlds when he'd been sent in peace and war had broken out despite his best efforts, but he'd never had to do such a thing. Jedi were trained warriors, true, but taught to use that training in defense, not to lead attacks. But now...he had no choice, at least none that his conscience would allow. He was their best chance.
"One of the tenants the Jedi live by is peace over anger. I ask only that you keep that ideal in mind as we go into this. We are working for peace--do not allow your anger to rule you, or you become what you fight." He paused to let his words sink in. "May the Force be with us."
***
The rebels made it through the first line of defense on the outer perimeter of the residence without difficulty. Two of the search teams broke off to sneak in during the commotion the main group would make fighting their way into the front entrance. It was a good, sound plan based on what they knew of the governor's quarters and Crion's plans. It would have been nearly perfect.
If only Crion's hired army hadn't arrived ahead of schedule.
Qui-Gon had managed to subdue two guards when he looked up and realized there were suddenly far more defenders than there should have been. And they were wearing the wrong uniforms. One visual sweep was enough to tell him the odds were not in the favor of the rebels.
He found Denis fighting a member of the regular guard and grabbed him, knocking the guard out before pulling Denis away. "We have to pull back!"
"Why?"
"The hired army has arrived; we're outnumbered. We cannot win."
"Yes, we can!"
He tried to pull away, but Qui-Gon held his arm tightly. "No, we can't. Look!" The Jedi Master pointed at more reinforcements entering the front lawn. "We have to leave!"
After a moment, Denis relented. "Fine. I'll go after the groups that broke off. You get everyone else to safety." Before Qui-Gon could protest, Denis was running around the corner. To try to stop him would only call attention to his movements.
With a sigh, Qui-Gon began gathering the other rebels and ordering them back to the headquarters. As he found the last member in sight, Denis rejoined him. One quick look at the blonde man's face told Qui-Gon all he needed to know. "Come on," he said, clasping Denis' shoulder. "We have to go."
As they ran away, Qui-Gon looked back over his shoulder. A flash in one of the windows caught his eye. With a shock, he realized it was Xanatos, watching. And smiling.
He turned and ran without looking back again.
***
//It was bliss. No, it was better than bliss. There were no words to describe the intense pleasure he felt as his padawan rose up and down above him, surrounding his hardened shaft in tight heat. Xanatos laughed, and Qui-Gon looked up to meet his padawan's eyes, surprised to see nothing there but coldness.
"Padawan?"
"You're a fool," he said, still laughing, his words completely at odds with his actions as he continued to ride his master. "You didn't listen. They tried to warn you, but you never see the future for your concentration on the present. And now they will all pay for your nearsightedness. *He* will pay. Now and in the future, and it will all be your fault. Take *that* to your death."
Before he could even raise a question, Xanatos' hands wrapped around his neck, cutting off his air. He struggled, but his padawan was too strong. He could feel his consciousness fading--//
"Master Jinn!"
Qui-Gon awoke with a jerk. He jumped up from his chair, nearly knocking over the table as he yanked his shoulder away from Denis' touch. "Sorry...I must have been dreaming."
"Must have been a bad one. I wasn't completely sure you weren't dying for a moment."
"That makes two of us."
"Excuse me?"
He shook his head as he sat down again. "Never mind. Has anyone else come back?"
"Three more. I think that's the last of them."
"Forty-four people. We lost twenty-one." The loss staggered him. So many...all his fault. With an effort, he banished the idea of blame. There was no use in blaming anyone. Blame only served to hinder rational thought and action. He had to live in the moment. Focus on the here and now.
//'...you never see the future for your concentration on the present.'//
"How are you?" Qui-Gon asked, needing to concentrate on something other than his own subconscious. Denis had been subdued since they had returned to the headquarters. Not that such a reaction was a surprise. It was one thing to storm off to attack in the heat of rage; seeing the result of a battle was something else entirely.
"I'm hanging in there." Denis took the seat next to him. "It's strange...I wanted to take back my country. But now...is it worth the cost? So what if the governor gets rich? Telos gets rich right along with him. Is that such a bad thing?"
For a moment, Qui-Gon studied him. "Is that really how you feel?"
"No. Yes. I don't know." He ran his hand through his hair, eyes lowered to the table. "When I found the first group, I couldn't make myself believe it. They were lying there, and there was blood, and it was...it was horrible. I thought nothing could be worse."
"I know. It's never easy."
"I *knew* those people! They were my friends!" He took a deep breath. "And I sent them in there to die."
Qui-Gon put his hand over the other man's on the table. "They went in there of their own choosing. You did not choose for them."
"Then why does it feel like I did?" He didn't wait for an answer before he continued. "I thought that was the worst thing I'd ever see. And then I found the others. And they weren't all dead. Yet."
Denis met Qui-Gon's eyes, and the Jedi Master felt the hollow emptiness of that gaze down to his soul. "This guy came at them with a sword like yours. He sliced the two who were left down like they were nothing.
A sick feeling settled in Qui-Gon's stomach, one he doubted he'd ever be free of again. "What did he look like?"
"Black hair, pale. Like something out of a nightmare, or a vengeance play. He was pure evil, I can tell you that." Denis truly looked at Qui-Gon then. "Now you look like you've seen a ghost."
"Close enough. I know the man you saw. His name is Xanatos."
"Gone up against him before?"
"No. He was my student until yesterday." He didn't dare mention anything else about their relationship.
A frown settled on Denis' face. "You taught him...?"
"Not to be that way, if that's what you're thinking. He's also the son of the governor."
"I didn't even know the governor had a son."
"I took him away when he was just a baby."
Denis shook his head. "No offense, but I don't think whatever you've been teaching him all these years did a lot of good."
"I am aware of that." Qui-Gon softened his tone as he picked at an imaginary flaw on the table. "He wasn't always like this. Or maybe he was and I just didn't see it. I'm not sure anymore."
"Either way, he's going to be tough to beat now. Do you think you can do it?" It was clear Denis was doubting more than just ability.
"I will do what I must." He could do whatever needed to be done, if it came to that. But he hadn't given up all hope just yet. No matter what Denis had seen. "We should finish packing up," Qui-Gon said at last, getting up from the table. "We'll need to be out of here and heading for new headquarters in the next hour now that everyone's arrived."
The two of them headed towards the others, discussing the move, the revelation of Xanatos' origins buried, but not forgotten.
***
A month. Days and then weeks of fighting, of going up against Crion's hired army and being beaten every time. And now they'd reached the milestone no one had thought possible. A full month of fighting, and they were no closer to winning than they had been the first day.
Qui-Gon's eyes passed over the beds where wounded rebels lay, some healing, some dying. He knew there were several more rooms just like this one spread out in various planning facilities they'd set up in the outlying areas just beyond Thani, and it pained him; pained him more still to think of the graves they'd dug, the pyres they'd built, and the bodies they hadn't been able to get to in order to do either.
Thousands had died. And he'd sent them all to their deaths. Not because he was the leader--after that first battle he'd refused to lead, leaving Denis to take over those duties. But he'd stayed, despite Yoda and the Council attempting by every means short of a direct order to get him back to Coruscant. He'd stayed because it was his fault. He couldn't lead them, but he could help.
And his help had been so much good to them so far. He'd given such great assistance that there were fewer rebels now than ever, and less chance of them winning--if they'd really had a chance to begin with. But still he stayed. They all assumed it was because he wanted to help, and he truly did, but the look he often saw in Denis' eyes wouldn't let him forget the more compelling reason he'd stayed.
Xanatos.
Whether he was still trying to save the young man, or just wanted to see his mistakes through to the bitter end, even he didn't know. He only knew that he had brought this on, or at least had been partly responsible, through his blindness, and through his training of his apprentice, so he had to stay and do what he could to correct his mistakes. Xanatos' shielding abilities were better than he'd realized--or better than his apprentice had led him to believe--but he could still sense him sometimes, a fact that could lead to a tactical advantage for the rebels.
"Qui-Gon?" Denis laid a hand on his shoulder. "We're going out in full force at dusk."
He looked at the man who'd been so eager to fight a month before. Now...he just looked tired. And old. "The chances are not good, you know."
"Maybe," he said, his face tightening. "But if we don't win, then we'll die trying."
"Is that what they'd say if you asked them?" Qui-Gon challenged, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at the wounded.
"No one is here by force. Anyone can leave whenever they like."
He started to argue then realized there was no point. "I'll be ready by dusk."
Denis nodded and took a step back as it to leave, but then stopped. "You understand why we have to do this, don't you?"
Qui-Gon nodded without looking up from the table. "But that doesn't make it any easier to watch people die in a futile effort I've seen far too many times on far too many worlds."
"It may not be so futile. You can't actually see the future, can you?"
"No."
"Then you never know. One man can make the difference against an entire empire if he just has the right weapon."
The corner of Qui-Gon's mouth lifted slightly. "I've seen that too," he admitted. A soft chuckle was Denis' only answer before his footsteps faded away.
***
The rebels met at dusk, leaving their various hideouts to join forces just on the outskirts of Thani, as close to the governor's quarters as they could gather without being discovered. Qui-Gon looked out at the assembled group, a smaller group than any they'd had since the first week. Many had died; others had fled back to their homes, the reality of war too different from the idea they'd joined up with for them to handle.
In truth, he was surprised at how many had stayed. These people were mostly scientists and management types, not trained soldiers, or even laborers. Their dedication to their country was admirable. That dedication, however, was killing them off at a rapid pace. He doubted that had been in Crion's plans, but he also knew the man wouldn't mind much. Less people to oppose him, and less people to share the wealth with after it was all over, for there was little doubt that Crion would win.
Unless someone got to him first.
Denis finished giving out orders and rejoined Qui-Gon at the front of the group. "Are you ready?"
"As ready as the Force has made me," Qui-Gon gave his standard reply, then added, "Let's finish this."
He received a quizzical look from Denis, but the leader said nothing, just gave the silent command to move forward.
They were spotted as they neared the residence, as usual, and met soon after by the hired army. It was always the same; only the direction of their arrival and the number of people fighting changed.
It was soon obvious the outcome would be the same this time as well. Qui-Gon fought the anger that rose up inside him at the futile efforts.
And then he saw Xanatos. His apprentice was standing with one of the generals of the hired army, giving orders. The young man stopped suddenly, head turning in Qui-Gon's direction as if he knew he was being watched.
Qui-Gon had shut down his side of the bond as much as possible, but he did not try to hide from his apprentice's view. After a moment Xanatos smiled, then turned to the general and said a few more words before turning away. He walked off toward the residence without another look back.
Once the young man was gone, Qui-Gon looked again at what he could see of the battle. There was no other way to handle this.
With a deep breath, he began to work his way around to the side of the battle, intent on making his way into the governor's quarters without being detected. This would end today. He would see to it.
***
With the battle raging on behind him, Qui-Gon hurried carefully around the edge of the outer perimeter of the governor's quarters. He knew exactly how close he could get before he was spotted, and he skirted the edge of that perimeter around to the back of the grounds. As he'd suspected, there were few guards in the back, only four posted lookouts. He evaded those easily as he made his way to the building.
During his first days at the residence, Qui-Gon had gone for a walk and come across a door that was mostly grown over with weeds. He'd later found the room the door led to from the inside to find that it opened, with a little pressure. At the time he'd assumed it was an old, forgotten entrance to the cellar, and hadn't bothered to ask about it. Now he hoped he was right.
With a careful adjustment of the lock mechanism, he was able to push the door open. He sensed no one on the other side, but he was cautious nonetheless, never sure just how well Xanatos could shield himself. The cellar was as dark and dusty as he remembered, the only light from a dirty window near the ceiling on the far side of the room. He waited a moment, but he could neither see nor sense anyone in the room, so he continued on to the stairway.
The door at the top of the stairs presented a new problem. Qui-Gon knew it would squeak when he tried to open it, and while it was in a remote part of the residence, there was no way to be certain someone nearby wouldn't hear it. He reached out with the Force, but the area seemed empty.
Trusting the Force to alert him to any danger, he pushed on the door, holding his breath for a moment when the expected squeak sounded. When it passed, and no footsteps came running down the hallway, he breathed a sigh of relief and continued on.
With the battle going on outside, Crion would most likely be making plans in his study. Since he trusted so few people, there was only one other person likely to be in the room.
No matter. If Xanatos was there, Qui-Gon would deal with it. Crion had to be stopped, no matter what it took. Preferably without bloodshed--no matter how he felt about that--but one way or another, this had to end.
After close calls with two guards, Qui-Gon made it to the study. The door was closed, but not latched, so he pushed it open silently. There was no one at the desk, or at the large map that had been hung on the far wall, presumably to plot strategy since the war had broken out.
"I expected you here much sooner."
Qui-Gon stiffened as the silky voice reached him from his left. He took a few steps forward to clear the door and turned his head. Xanatos was lounging on the low couch along the wall behind the door. The sight of the padawan braid, still hanging from behind the young man's right ear, surprised him, but after a moment, he recovered. "And I expected your father to be in here with you."
Xanatos laughed. "Of course you did. That's why you snuck in the cellar and up the stairs and all the way into the middle of the residence to his study, just to kill him."
"No! To arrest him." Killing Crion was not something he would allow himself to anticipate, even if he had single-handedly taken Xanatos away.
"You knew I wouldn't let that happen."
Qui-Gon took a step toward the couch. "I didn't know that. I was hoping to reason with you. If you would just listen--"
"Reason? Listen?" The harsh laugh rang out again as Xanatos rose gracefully and advanced on his master. "And why should I? You left me here; didn't you want me to stay and be my father's son?"
"What?"
"It seems fairly obvious," he growled, hands on hips. "I wasn't good enough to be your apprentice after all, so you saw your way out of having to tell me that, and you left me here."
Qui-Gon stared at the young man. "Left you here? I *asked* you to come with me. You threatened me and told me to get out."
"And you left! You were my master!" He took a step forward, his face inches away from Qui-Gon, eyes glittering like dark sapphite jewels. "It was your job to stay with me!"
"Not like this!" Qui-Gon grabbed his apprentice's arm. "Not to help you destroy two worlds!" He paused for a ragged breath, scrubbing his free hand across the top of his head. After a moment, he continued in a quieter, if no less intense, voice. "Come with me this time."
Xanatos stared for a moment, features set, just long enough to make Qui-Gon wonder if he was truly considering the request. Then, slowly, he shook his head. "I can't. I have to stay and see this through."
Qui-Gon closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened them again to look down at the man who'd been his student, his friend, and his lover. "Then you've made your choice, and there is nothing I can do."
He turned to go, but Xanatos' next words froze him. "Stay with me."
Stay? He couldn't. He knew that he couldn't. He had duties, and even if that weren't the case, the path his padawan had chosen was wrong. Xanatos would only get worse.
Unless Qui-Gon stayed and kept him under control.
His eyes closed again. The idea was so tempting. Memories assailed him, threatened to overwhelm him, but reality won out in the end. He hadn't been able to control the young man before this; now it would be impossible. Xanatos had set his own path to destruction, and there was nothing Qui-Gon could do to stop him now. That time was long past.
"No," he said, eyes open and clear for the first time in what seemed like forever. He turned to face his apprentice--no, former apprentice--again. "You have chosen this for yourself, and I will not stay here and be destroyed along with you."
"Destroy me?" Xanatos laughed. "You think this pitiful group of rebels can destroy me? They are nothing!" His smile turned into a sneer as he leaned closer, his nose almost touching Qui-Gon's. "You...you might have had that power once. But not now. "
Before Qui-Gon could react, Xanatos grabbed the older man's head and pulled him into a brutal kiss, crushing his lips against his teeth. He fought until the young man lessened the pressure slightly, pulling Qui-Gon's lower-lip between his teeth and biting before letting him go with one last, soft kiss.
Xanatos grinned, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked at the scarlet streak left behind, then at the cut on his former master's lip. Eyes locked with the older man's, he licked the blood off slowly, deliberately. "Go on then, back to the Jedi," he said finally, voice low and heated. "Back to no money, no power, no home--no thanks! But be sure to think of what you could have had here."
"There is nothing here that tempts me," Qui-Gon said levelly before turning toward the door.
"Oh really?" Xanatos responded, chuckling. "I suppose that was my imagination, then, your reaction to me projecting my activities night after night, back on Coruscant? And my dreams?"
Qui-Gon stopped, only steps away from the door. He needed to leave.
But he had to find out the rest first.
"I see I have your attention now," Xanatos gloated. "You never considered that maybe you found it so easy to read my desires because I was sending them your direction?" He laughed. "You're more of a blind fool than I thought."
"It changes nothing." He took another step toward the door.
"Perhaps not. But what about your inability to save Stieg Wa?"
Again he stopped. "What does that have to do with this?"
"Ever seen a pocket Force inhibitor? Handy little toy. Picked it up off a man who tried to use it against me in a seedier part of Coruscant--one of those areas *you* wouldn't be caught dead in. Or is that anything other than dead in?"
"Force inhibitors are illegal."
"So is murder, but then the poor man didn't seem to see them on the same level in the moment before I ran him through with my 'saber."
The walls Qui-Gon had built around his emotions shook, threatened to crumble, but he held firm. Later, when there was nothing else on the line, he could examine how he'd been so blind about someone he'd thought he knew so well. Now he had to leave. One step at a time. He put his left foot in front of his right.
"Pity about Stieg Wa. I hear the Jedi found him in a brothel on Tranine."
Right foot in front of the left.
"Though I suppose that's not as important to you as your failure as a master, being led around by the cock by a mere padawan."
Left foot in front of the right, and he was at the door. Xanatos' laughter followed him through the doorway and down the hall.
Long after he could no longer hear it, the laughter echoed in his mind.
***
Qui-Gon made his way to the front door, intent on nothing more than leaving. The guards wouldn't think him dangerous if he was leaving the residence, and if they did, he'd take care of them one by one. In preparation for that possibility, he ignited his lightsaber as he reached the final stretch of the hallway.
Two steps into the large entrance hall, he skidded to a halt. Crion stood in the middle of the room, blaster in hand, blocking the exit. "Where do you think you're going?"
"We both know you won't win this fight. Give up now and save us both the trouble."
Crion laughed. "Give up? Why would I want to do that?"
"You had your chance." Qui-Gon raised his left hand, holding his saber out defensively. With his right hand, he reached for the Force to pull the weapon out of the governor's hand, but nothing happened. He frowned and tried again, but still nothing.
"Oh, did I forget to tell you that my son loaned me his Force inhibitor? He thought I might need it."
Only then did he notice the strangeness, the absence of the Force like a thick silence around him. "It seems Xanatos has thought of everything."
Crion's eyebrows rose. "What, now you call him by the name I gave him? No 'My padawan, my apprentice' titles? No, I suppose you wouldn't want him to belong to you now, would you?"
"You put those ideas into his head, didn't you?"
"I didn't have to put anything into his head, *Master* Jinn. I just didn't lie and tell him he was imagining any of it--your possessiveness, the ridiculous traditions, the clothing--none of it has anything to do with his abilities. It's all to control him."
"It's to help him control himself. We are given this power so we may serve. Everything else is secondary to that."
The older man laughed. "Well now he's serving himself, and not you. Get over it."
"Fine. He can serve whomever he likes. He is no longer my concern." A lie, but he'd learned that lies had their uses inn the right situations. He tightened his grip on his 'saber, ready to attack if necessary. "Just let me pass." Not that he had any intention of leaving without dispatching of Crion, one way or another, but the other man didn't know that.
"Just like that? You'll just leave and let us alone?" Crion laughed loudly. "Forgive me if I have a hard time believing that."
"Believe what you like, but I'm leaving."
Qui-Gon took three steps forward before the governor fired, sending a blaster bolt right into the lightsaber. It bounced harmlessly off the 'saber and burned a black mark into the wall just over Crion's left shoulder. "You won't be able to stop them all, not without your precious Force."
"Try me." Qui-Gon's mouth tightened. "I'm not your son."
"That is one thing I am well aware of." He fired again, three quick blasts that Qui-Gon was able to fend off as he ran forward, slicing the blaster in half and putting an end to its usefulness. He held his 'saber inches from Crion's neck. "Turn off the dampener and give it to me."
The governor swallowed carefully. "Very well." He dropped what was left of his blaster and reached slowly into his pocket. Qui-Gon tuned his ears into the sounds around him, listening for any sign of Xanatos, since the Force would be of no help until the dampener was disengaged. A sound like a footstep caught his attention a second before Crion's hand came out of his pocket.
It barely registered in his mind that the governor held not a dampener, but a vibroshiv, before Qui-Gon sliced downward with his lightsaber as he jumped back, narrowly avoiding the humming blade of the vibroshiv as it thrust upward toward his chest. His 'saber sliced through the bottom of Crion's neck and down his chest before cutting the vibroshiv, along with the governor's hand and his ring, into two pieces.
The vibroshiv and the ring clattered to the ground as Crion fell dead at his feet. His wounds had cauterized instantly, a clean kill, but the smell of burning flesh from the slice of the 'saber was overpowering and growing stronger as the vibroshiv blade set the rug on fire, and it burned into the flesh of Crion's hand. Qui-Gon fought back the nausea even as he heard an inhuman screech behind him.
"What have you done?" Xanatos screamed, igniting his own lightsaber and rushing forward, charging at his former master.
Qui-Gon turned, meeting the downward swing of the younger man's 'saber with his own weapon, blocking with a standard move. "I defended myself," he answered quietly, guiding the fight away from Crion's body while still allowing Xanatos to be the attacker.
"Defense? A Jedi Master against one old man holding a blaster, and you call killing him defending yourself?" Xanatos backed him against the wall and their 'sabers locked, humming as his former padawan glared at him through the crossed blades of green and red light. "I'll see you dead for what you've done." Anger threaded through his voice and turned his dark blue eyes black.
"You won't find that as easy as you might think."
"Really?" Xanatos looked around wildly. "Feel that? Or rather, do you not feel it? The Force inhibitor is still on. We are on even ground now, *Master*." He made the word into an insult.
Faster than thought, Qui-Gon shoved the younger man, sending him backwards onto the floor with such a force he slid several feet. The slide brought him into view of his father. After a shaky breath, Xanatos crawled over to where the man had fallen.
He picked up the larger portion of Crion's ring out of the fire, held it in front of him despite the faint hiss of the glowing metal in his fingers. He stared at it for a moment before turning to Qui-Gon. Without a word, Xanatos held the ring up to his face and pressed it into his cheek, eyes full of cold fury as the metal sizzled against his skin. "This is my mark, an outward symbol to remind me. Every time I look into a mirror, I will remember how you betrayed me."
"*I* betrayed you?"
"You took my father from me! Twice! I was denied the right to know him as a child, and when I tried to know him as an adult, you took that from me as well. All so you could put a leash on me." He grabbed the vibroshiv, heedless of the fire, and quickly severed his padawan braid, throwing it on the floor. It skidded to a stop near Qui-Gon's feet as Xanatos rose, advancing on Qui-Gon, 'saber first. "Pity my mother is dead; you could've killed her too!"
Qui-Gon was familiar with his former apprentice's fighting style, but rage made him less predictable. The master had to rely on split-second decisions based on body language to stay one-step ahead of his former apprentice. On and on they fought, locked in a deadly dance, the scene a bizarre imitation of past sparring sessions. Only this time, there were no holds barred.
Finally, when they'd both gone past the point of exhaustion, Qui-Gon gained a slight advantage. Before Xanatos knew what was happening, his lightsaber was on the ground, and he followed. The green blade of Qui-Gon's saber gave the younger man's face an eerie glow as it hovered just off his chin. "Go ahead," Xanatos taunted. "Do it. You know you want to. We're such a bad family; don't you want to finish off the line? What if I was to procreate?"
It would be so easy. One small thrust with the 'saber, or maybe a quick slice. Xanatos had turned. He must be stopped, or he would only cause pain to everyone he met. The path was clear--there was only one way left to deal with it.
Moments passed, but Qui-Gon couldn't force himself to deal the final blow. Xanatos began to laugh, a wild sound Qui-Gon had never heard before. "You can't do it, can you?" He laughed harder. "Big Jedi Master, and you can't kill me. Why? Because you fancy yourself in love with me? Or just because it would be too much failure for your poor ego to take?"
Qui-Gon pressed the blade of the 'saber a little closer, near enough to the skin now to be uncomfortable, but Xanatos didn't flinch. And still, he hesitated. All he had to do was kill the young man and be done with it.
No use. He couldn't do it. With a sigh, Qui-Gon pulled the blade back. "Get up."
"What, I'm not to be killed?"
"Not by me. You'll go back to the temple and stand trial."
The young man pushed himself up off the ground, dusting off his leggings. "For what? Failing to live up to the great Master Jinn's standards? Or not being good enough in his bed?"
"For murder," Qui-Gon replied, ignoring the barb. "Along with a few other crimes."
"We have courts on Telos."
Courts that he could bribe, Qui-Gon was sure. "You are...were a Jedi. You'll stand trial as one."
"Well...when you put it that way...."
Before Qui-Gon could stop him, Xanatos lashed out with his fist, catching the older man on the jaw. He fell backward, jumping up quickly, but not fast enough to stop his former student. He ran to the door, but saw no sign of the young man, so he checked the hallways. Still nothing. He searched half the residence before he realized the truth and gave up.
Xanatos was gone.
***
"And you searched the entire residence?"
Qui-Gon met Mace Windu's eyes without flinching. "I searched the entire city with help from some of the rebels. There was no sign of my--of Xanatos. And the treasury was missing as well. He must have had an escape route planned, just in case."
The seemingly permanent frown on Windu's face deepened, but he said nothing else, so Qui-Gon continued. "I told the general of the hired army that his employer was dead, so they left."
"Chosen a new governor, they have?"
"Yes, my master. The rebels nominated their leader, Denis, and he was elected within days. As soon as their governor was in place, I returned to the Temple." Where he had immediately been called into the Council chambers, despite the fact that he'd barely slept since the last battle, but he refrained from mentioning that part.
"Very well," Windu said at last. "It is clear that there was nothing you could have done to foresee these events, and you did everything you could to make restitution once your padawan turned."
Master Yoda clicked his walking stick against the floor, more as a hint to Windu than for any practical reason, Qui-Gon suspected, since Yoda was in his chair. "Sorry, we are, about your Padawan, Qui-Gon. Difficult, this is for you."
"Thank you, Master," Qui-Gon replied with a small bow. "I am dealing with the situation."
"Nevertheless, a rest you need."
"I wish to resume my duties, Master. I'm sure the Jedi are in need of an experienced warrior somewhere." After all, they always were.
Yoda's eyes narrowed, small moss-green slits in his wide face. "Time, you require. Not all wounds heal as quickly as physical ones."
Qui-Gon knew it was useless to argue, so he bowed again. "If that is all...?"
"You are free to go," Mace Windu answered. He bowed yet again and left the chamber, finally making his way to his rooms for the first time since they'd left for the mission.
It was only once he was in the room that it hit him. Xanatos was truly gone, lost to him forever, as a padawan, as well as everything else. He glanced over at the closed door to the young man's room, thinking that the room would need to be emptied. Perhaps he would have droids do it for him. He had no desire to go through his former padawan's belongings, now or ever.
The doorbell chimed, and Qui-Gon called out the entry command as he sat down, too well-trained in politeness to not answer the door. His master shuffled into the room, the door closing behind him. "How feel you?" Yoda asked as he reached Qui-Gon's chair.
"I am fine."
"Lie to your master, you should not."
Qui-Gon snorted. "Apparently that's not a lesson easily learned by our line."
"Xanatos' lies, not your fault. Forgive yourself, you must."
"And if I can't?" The words came out before he could stop them.
"Think you you cannot?"
He shook his head. "I don't know." The next words were harder, but he had to finish. "When I found him in the residence, before the fight...he asked me to stay. And I thought about it. Part of me wanted to stay."
"Wanted and did - same thing, they are not. Right thing, you did, regardless of the cost." He laid his hand on Qui-Gon's knee. "Jedi, you are, my padawan. Jedi, always, you will be."
"But not a very good one. Not lately. He was my student. He could not have controlled me if I hadn't wanted it, at least on some level."
Yoda sighed. "Perhaps. Powerful and seductive is the Dark. Know better next time, you will.
"There won't be a next time."
"So sure, are you? We shall see. Much to teach, have you."
Qui-Gon nodded, but only out of habit. He was not convinced he had anything at all to teach that should truly be learned. As Yoda turned to leave, there was only one thing Qui-Gon was truly convinced of.
He would never take a padawan again.
THE END
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