Man of God
by Night Spring

~What good is a man of God in a land God has forsaken?~
(work in progress)

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Fandom: Stargate SG-1 / Atlantis

Pairings: Jack/Daniel, Sheppard/McKay

Length: I endeavor to keep each part to less than 200 words.

Rating: Most parts are PG, but some parts may be R or NC-17.

Spoilers: Assumes knowledge of SG-1 episodes up to end of S8 and Atlantis episodes up to end of S2.

Warnings: Most parts require no warnings, but anything can happen.

Notes: Thanks as always to Sheila for the beta.

Text from Psalms from The Holy Bible, King James version (Electronic Text Center, University of Virginia Library). Capitalization of "LORD" has been modified to "Lord."

1. Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly 

The cover was faded, the gold lettering turning to dull brass. Jack flipped it open, eyes widening as he recognized the writing on the inside cover.

"Jack?" Daniel frowned quizzically.

"I..." Jack sank into a nearby chair. "I haven't thought about this book in years."

Daniel peered at the writing over Jack's shoulder. "It was from your mother?"

"No," Jack said. "My grandmother. Charlie called her 'Granny' too. She... This was for Charlie's first communion. She took ill soon after that, and..." Jack looked again at the book. "I don't think Charlie ever read it."

"Not light reading for a kid, is it?"

"No." Jack flipped the pages to the first psalm. "I suppose not."

2. Why do the heathen rage 

"So, we are getting a chaplain?"

"Yeah," John stirred his coffee. "What about it?"

"Nothing. Just seems... weird."

"Weird," John repeated.

"Well, yeah." Rodney waved his fork at the city in general. "Just look where we are!"

"Not a believer, I take it?"

"Well. Some would say the search for the Unified Theory is a search for God, but that's not the point. I mean, chaplain, to do what? Hold service, hear confessions? Prayers for the sick and dying? For victory against the Wraith? Doesn't it seem, I don't know, quaint?"

"Yeah?"

Rodney frowned. "What? You don't think so?" he asked, suddenly uncertain.

"Well..." John smiled slowly. "Quaint can be good."

Rodney blinked.

"So, you going to eat your cake?"

3. Lord, how are they increased that trouble me 

Remember when Daniel died, the first time?

I'd prayed for death, and my prayer was answered. I cried out in my anguish, and the Lord heard -- how he heard.

Of Ra and his troops, I wasn't afraid -- they were a threat, but I wasn't afraid. But when he stood in front of the pyramid, staff weapon in hand, gloriously alive by some miracle of Ra's technology -- then I was afraid. Of what he might do, what he might not do. What he would sacrifice over and over for everyone else.

I cried to the Lord, and he answered. How he answered.

4. Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness 

Please, please, please, let this work, let this work.

Insert crystal, check. Power flow present, check. Reset system, check. Throw this switch, and... Damn! Why doesn't it work? What's wrong? What am I missing? How much time is left?

Ok, ok, don't panic. Think. You're Rodney McKay, you can solve this thing.

Please, please, please, God...

Aha! Gotcha, there's the glitch! Snip this wire, cross with that one, and...

"McKay? Are we ready yet?"

Just there, just a little more...

"Rodney."

Yes. Push that in, pull that out, flip this thing... please, please, please work. Please. Save us all...

5. Give ear to my words, O Lord 

Who knows if they are righteous in the eyes of the Lord?

Kinsey, may he never grace us with his presence any time soon, surely thinks God would hearken unto his voice. Maybourne, self-righteous bastard that he is, would claim that through all his deciets, the greater good's always dear and near to his heart.

When Daniel flies into a righteous rampage, how does he know he's right and the rest of us are wrong? How often have I pleaded with others to just do it because it's right?

How can you know? Where's the line?

You listening up there?

6. O Lord, rebuke me not in thine anger 

He'd disobeyed orders -- for what?

They were dead. His career over. Everything he'd ever worked for, he'd thrown away in a single instant.

For what? They were dead. Had been dead before he even swerved off course. Before he even heard their location.

But he hadn't known that, then.

Neither had his superiors.

He'd bet on them being alive -- command bet on their being dead. Well, guess who won?

If only he hadn't gone after them -- he'd never forgive himself, then. If only he'd obeyed his orders -- he'd never forgive himself, now.

--major, think about where we are in the solar system--

Not to the ends of earth, and beyond.

7. O Lord my God, in thee do I put my trust 

The weird thing is, I still believe. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Some things should be protected at all costs. Some prices are too high to pay.

Only once in my life did I lose sight of that. When you no longer care for yourself, what do you care for anyone else? But Daniel cared. God knows why, but he did.

You saved me from myself. My refuge and my judge, my shield and my sword, you pulled me back from the black hole of my madness, stayed me from the unforgivable, called me in the desert.

--it's a shame you're in such a hurry--

To live.

8. O Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth 

"Relax, Rodney."

"I am relaxed. See? This is me relaxed."

"Rodney..."

"Oh, come on! What do you want me to do?"

"Um, okay. Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Yeah, take your hands off the controls... C'mon, it's okay, we aren't going anywhere. Now, close your eyes, take a deep breath... hold it... let it out. Again. Hold, let it out. Okay, keep breathing."

John leaned across Rodney to tap the controls. Rodney frowned, but quieted at a touch of John's hand.

"Okay. Open your eyes."

The planet floated before his eyes, a swirling blue gem deep in space.

"Wow," Rodney breathed.

9. I will praise thee, O Lord, with my whole heart 

How many worlds have we liberated from the Goa'uld, only to fall back into their hands, or dissolve into dysfunctional chaos?

With Abydos, we got lucky. Kasuf was an exceptional leader, and of course, they had you.

Were the years they were free worth it? Would they do it again, knowing what end awaits? Did we do them any favors at all?

If there is a just God in the universe, wouldn't Abydos still be there? Wouldn't Charlie still be alive?

But then our paths would never have crossed.

If there is a perfect God, why is the world so damn imperfect?

10. Why standest thou afar off, O Lord? 

This is just so Daniel. This absolute, unshakable trust that God is just; the wicked will perish, the oppressed set free.

I wish I believed.

If I don't believe, what's the point? Why keep trying?

Is a better tomorrow possible? Sure. Is it certain? Absolutely not.

But would we get there if we didn't even try?

arise, o lord; lift up thine hand
break thou the arm of the wicked...

I wish I could believe.

11. In the Lord put I my trust 

"Yes! Fire and brimstone on my enemies!-- What's brimstone, anyway?"

"Brimstone, Lieutenant, would be an archaic term for sulfur."

"Hey, I knew that."

"So you say, Major."

"So, is this going to work?"

"Are you kidding, sir? You just saw that!"

"Yes. Way to pack a big kaboom. How much did you say this increased the energy output of C4?"

"400.056%"

"McKay, you don't have pointy ears, do you?"

"Well, actually, now that you mention ears..."

"Anyway. Big kaboom, check. Cloaked jumper, check. Intel on enemy position?"

"Uh... working on it, sir."

"Please do. So. We doing this?"

"Yup!"

12. Help, Lord; for the godly man ceaseth 

So Carter was ticked off at McKay after the thing with Teal'c being trapped in the stargate. Hell, it probably did the man good to cool off his head in Russia. By the time I caught up with him in Antarctica, he was positively mellow. And getting along right well with Daniel. But I digress.

It's just, with Carter, after so many years of being the SGC's premier problem-solver, not many people challenge her directly. Siller, Walter, the other tecchies and scientists -- they all couch their suggestions in deferential terms, as, well, suggestions. No one tells her "No. You're wrong."

And Carter's a good kid, doesn't let things get to her head, but still... You need to step outside yourself sometimes. See things from other perspectives. Carter doesn't get that chance very often, just because there's no one around on her level in terms of the tecchie stuff. For that alone I should have kept McKay here.

Which is why Daniel's not going anywhere.

13. How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? 

When he returned to his room and logged into his email, there sat the note from General O'Neill, marked for his eyes only. He stared, a sinking dread gutting his stomach. Wow. Bad news really did travel faster than the speed of light.

Taking a deep breath, he straightened, and hit the enter key with a shaking finger.

Heard you had a big bang. If you feel like coming home, you're always welcome.
          J.O.

He blinked. The message made no sense in his mind. Over and over his eyes flipped through the message, always fixing on the same three words: you're always welcome

What had he done to be offered these three words? He doesn't really know the General, never spent much time with the man himself. He knows him more by second-hand association, by tales and gossip picked from the SGC grapevine. And the General... what could the General have possibly seen or heard that would lead to such... unconditional acceptance?

Rubbing away the tears from his cheeks, he blew his nose, and started on his first apology.

14. The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God 

Daniel came into my office today, fuming mad and armed with a spreadsheet.

A numbing, headache-inducing hour later, Daniel had succeeded in thoroughly beating his discovery into my thick skull.

SG-1, and the other "low-number" SG teams, were getting preferential treatment in ordnance allocation, while newer teams were getting shafted. At least one team had gotten into trouble because of this, and had barely gotten out alive, thanks to, guess what -- being rescued by SG-1.

"But of course," Daniel ranted, "they wouldn't have needed rescuing if they'd been properly equipped!"

Oy. Allocating ordnance is a judgment call. Obviously I need to assign someone else -- but who? There're only so many people whose judgment I trust, and like any of them don't have more than a full plate already?

Yeah, not evil in the sense of godless abomination, but sometimes it's the small evils...

Oh, George. Wish you were here...

15. Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? 

She walks through the city of the Ancestors, and wonders if they are worthy to dwell in this place.

At times Athos seems like a dream, hazy and obscured in the mist of memory. She feels as if she has lived in this city, among these people from a distant galaxy, since before she was born. Even John's inscrutable cultural references are comfortably familiar, drawing her in rather than shutting her out.

Then somebody says something, or does something, and the world tilts on its axis, and she finds herself standing among alien beings in an unrecognizable landscape, the clothes they have given her sitting ill against her skin.

She looks at the city of the Ancestors, and trembles in its dreadful beauty. And hopes they will be worthy to abide in these halls.