38

Missteps


Note of What Has Gone Before: For disobeying a direct order, as well as interfering in a planet's internal affairs, Lieutenant Tom Paris was demoted to the rank of ensign, and thrown into the brig for thirty days.

Later, while escorting refugee telepaths through the Devore Imperium, Janeway worked closely alongside the charismatic Inspector Kashyk, who claimed to have defected from his own totalitarian government.  Any possible relationship ended, however, when Kashyk was exposed as a spy for the Imperium.


Captain’s Personal Log:

The Commander had made his feelings clear. He was not going to let me take back my admission. He was not going to push. He swore that he could live with things returning to the way they were before the slipstream entered our lives. And knowing my dearest Chakotay, he would remain by my side making himself content with my cowardice and indecision.

I couldn’t stand for it. He was too vital and loving to remain in romantic limbo. The subject was not something I pondered very deeply, but there were some fine male and female candidates for his affections. Eventually, I would be able to look at him with someone else and not want to scream or kill. It would be worth the pain to see him really happy. I yearned to see that warm, sexy smile even if it wasn’t at me. Eventually, I could convince myself that this was true. It was for his own good.

It was with these well considered thoughts that I devised a plan which was cunning in its simplicity. Chakotay had to be pushed away and pushed hard. And since the Circle was something he merely tolerated, it seemed logical to begin there. I had been planning to bring Tom Paris back into the fold for some time. All I needed was to be outrageous about it. The plan was a good one. Tom had to muck it up with his little act of environmental heroism. I made sure that being demoted and in the Brig was the least of his problems.

Thus, I had been tormenting him. Even after the thirty days in the Brig, I continued. He had annoyed me on more than a professional level. My time table had been thrown into turmoil. Torres, gifted subject that she was, sailed through the preliminary sessions with Barrows and me in record time. She had incentive enough to work back to holding the lash. Kim’s growing impertinence had chafed at her more than I’d realized. And I allowed her to look at an image of that galaxy class butt belonging to my little Borg. B’Elanna worked very hard after that. Now, she had no where to go. This lack of consideration could not go unpunished. My Tom had to suffer keenly before he could taste paradise. My pilot wouldn’t enjoy it any other way.

I sent Ensign Paris a padd every day with only one item of data that would degrade at random moments during review. The subject of the data was the same. It was always Seven enduring some part of training. The images would last only a few seconds. It was only long enough to appreciate what she was going through and that she was enjoying it.

Over the thirty days, I sent him images of Seven in profile on her knees ass in the air being paddled with various implements. I sent images of Seven being fucked by Harry or by me with my favorite dildo. I sent images of her being clit whipped with my hand or with my little whip. There were images of nipple torture. Harry particularly enjoyed sending one of her being tit fucked.

Varying the image was difficult. That challenged me, because I liked to give a good presentation. Then, dear Mr. Kim pointed out that all the images were extremely hot and he only got to view them for a few seconds. Thus, he doubted that Paris would mind the occasional repeat. I began to realize that he would probably welcome it. Composition of the images began to be as important as what was going on in the session itself.

Though the creation of torment had been fun, the only way to really enjoy it was to see its effect. During his incarceration, that was impossible. If he saw me at all, it would be as the Captain. So I waited the thirty days. Then I waited three weeks longer. I was not going to appear anxious.

I made it a public lunch in the Mess at a secluded table. The date served two purposes. First it showed everyone that Paris was welcomed back and on his way to regaining my confidence. That was important to him, and I didn’t want him to become a pariah. The other reason was a punishment in itself. On so many levels, darling Tom needed to learn control -- even under duress. And I planned to ratchet up his duress.

"I trust you thoroughly reviewed the material I sent during your isolation," I said over my coffee.

Tom turned a lovely shade of red then choked on his drink.

"Yes, ma’am. Though the transmissions were too short to review thoroughly," he replied quietly.

"Really? In my assessment, they were long as they needed to be," I replied with a raised brow.

Tom lowered his eyes. "Of course."

"So which of the transmissions interested you most?"

"Which one?" He squeaked.

I cautioned him to keep his voice down. "Yes, Ensign. Which one?"

"Day twenty," he replied in a whisper.

I frowned at him. That one wasn’t especially explicit. "Why?"

"The sounds that… that the subject was making," he said. The subject has never made such utterances in my presence. It had quite an impact."

"There was no audio."

"Really? Her expression was so vivid, I must have imagined it."

"There was a high degree of motivation," I said.

"I’m sure," he sighed.

"And how is your motivation, Ensign?" I asked softly.

His blue eyes glittered at me. "Extremely high, ma’am."

"You’ll have to prove that to me."

"I know," he said quietly. "I await your discretion."

"Well said."

The Commander entered the Mess as Tom was leaving. Most people there probably thought that the blush on his face was because of his confinement. To all eyes, we’d had an intense discussion related to his return. But when Chakotay met his eyes, he saw a whole lot more when the blush deepened and the Ensign all but rushed out of the room. The Commander watched the retreat wryly. Then, he approached my table.

"And so it begins again," he said ruefully.

"It was your idea," I replied.

"Not for a package deal," he said. "How is our newest Ensign?"

"He’s fine," I replied. "Bowed but not broken. I believe all of this will make him a better officer."

"How are you?" He asked quietly as he had over the weeks of Tom’s confinement. He knew how much it had hurt me to have to do that to Tom. He knew how terribly difficult it had been to demote him.

"I’ll be fine," I said honestly. "We’ve all been through rougher patches."

The Commander smiled wistfully. "True."

The moment was becoming intense. I changed the topic to long range scans and he allowed me. It wasn’t quite time to push and I felt exposed. My focus needed to be elsewhere. It was time to prepare for my most challenging pet’s return.
 
 

That first session was a quandary. Tom had developed a perverse enjoyment of the lash. It wasn’t the pain as far as I could tell. The whole scene seemed to turn him on. He’d probably come the moment he saw Seven naked. I smiled to myself. At this point, he’d probably come at seeing Harry naked. A quandary indeed. It just wouldn’t do for a slave to have too much fun in an initial session.

"What would dear Mr. Paris like the least?" I wondered. After a moment, it came to me.

I summoned him to me a few nights later. The Club was the place. I sat on the throne. Kim, Torres and Seven were clad in silk robes and seated at my feet.

"Keep your eyes down," I said when Tom reached the center of the room. "Harry…"

"Yes, Mistress."

Ensign Kim approached Paris. He placed a hand in the center of Tom’s chest then gently pushed him back to a pillar a little to the left of the center.

"Relax, Tom," I said.

"Yes, Mistress," he replied softly.

Harry pressed Tom’s body against the pillar while shackling his wrist above his head. The pilot’s face was bliss in that moment. He sneaked a whiff of Harry’s hair before the man pulled away. Next Kim took a pair of shears to cut every inch of clothing from that fair, strong body. Once Tom was naked, his breathing became labored. He met Harry’s gaze as the Ensign rose from shackling his ankles.

"Long time no see, huh?" Paris murmured. His voice was husky and full of desire.

"Silence!" I snapped. "Harry, continue."

"Yes, Mistress," Harry whispered. His eyes never left Tom’s face.

Seven was fascinated by the intensity of this exchange while B’Elanna seemed to be struggling with her comfort level.

Harry gagged Tom with a soft strip of leather. I noticed that he caressed the pilot’s face before moving lower to put on the nipple clamps. The caress continued down that lean torso as Harry knelt before the bound man. Tom inhaled sharply as his friend tied up his hardened cock.

"Very nice," I said rising. "I’d almost forgotten how beautiful you are."

I indulged myself with a thorough caress of the skin before me. Tom closed his eyes with a serene sigh as one hand skimmed across his slender thighs.

"Of course, I would have been reminded over seven weeks ago," I muttered as I roughly squeezed his testicles. Tom inhaled with appropriate agony. "For that, there will be retribution.

"But today is about education… or re-education. You need to remember who is in charge of all of the pleasure you seek. And more importantly that you control nothing in my realm."

I returned to the throne.

"Seven," I snapped. "Present."

"Yes, Mistress."

My beautiful Borg rose gracefully before me. Seven let the robe slip off her bare shoulders to pool at her feet. She stepped away from the fabric sinking to her knees. She spread her thighs wide, crossed her wrists at the small of her back the bowed her head. Tom’s eyes could have fallen out of his skull they were open so wide. I allowed him to stare. That was to be part of the torment.

"Are you here to serve?" I demanded.

"Yes, Mistress," she replied.

"Often it benefits a slave to experience a different Mistress who may explore other facets of said slave," I murmured. "Mistress Torres was long absent from me. But she has returned to reclaim her place at my side. Her reward and yours is your submission."

"Yes, Mistress," Seven whispered. Her nipples were very hard.

"B’Elanna!" I snapped.

"Yes, Mistress," the woman purred rising.

When her robe slipped away, it revealed her new leathers. It was a long corset that pushed up and left her breasts bare and molded to her body to just below her hips. She had on the tiniest thong to cover her clit and leave her lovely little butt bare. She wore soft flat boots that came up to the knees and long, soft gauntlets on her arms. It was a lot softer than the more Klingon outfit she wore before, but it was very powerful. She looked magnificent. Paris moaned beneath the gag. No doubt his erection was causing him considerable discomfort.

Torres picked up a long paddle with a rounded end. It was covered in thin soft leather. The Engineer sauntered around Seven drinking in her beauty. Suddenly, she grabbed the woman by her fine blonde hair then tilted her head back.

"I guess this makes our third date," she growled. Torres kissed Seven. I’m certain that the kiss was meant to be hard and punishing, but it fell well short of that. My protégé Mistress had to pull out of the heated exchange before becoming overwhelmed by it. She actually wrenched herself from that lush mouth then stepped away for a moment to compose herself.

I was not surprised. That mouth was addictive and delicious. Paris was whimpering.

"I want your face resting on the floor and that ass in the air. Now," Torres said softly.

"Yes…"

"B’Elanna…"

"Yes, B’Elanna."

Tom had a three quarter view from the pillar. He was moaning in torment. Torres wasn’t doing much better. Her hand appeared to be compelled to caress that beautiful butt before raising the paddle. She seemed surprised at the reverb of the paddle from the first blow. It took five swats for her to figure out how to compensate for the phenomenon. After ten whacks, Seven was moaning plaintively. I was about to stop Torres when she tossed the weapon aside. It is very easy to get carried away paddling that wench. I’ve found that I could go on for hours, but Torres had a very strong arm. I didn’t want her to overdo it.

She grabbed Seven’s reddened globes with both hands then rubbed her left cheek against the hot skin. Seven gasped. Tom made a noise which sounded like he was being strangled. Torres rained little kisses and nips across the skin she’d just paddled while sticking two fingers inside Seven’s quivering fold.

"You are so wet… and tight…" she sighed. "I’ve heard that… and other things about you. Harry get over here and take her. Seven, you are going to show me your famous oral skills."

The order was acknowledged. Tom raised his eyes to the ceiling then rested his head against the pillar and groaned. Harry dropped his robe kneeling behind Seven. Torres removed her leather thong positioning herself under the Borg’s lush mouth. I settled back. This dance was one I’d waited a long time to see. The only thing missing was Tom’s face in my crotch. Maybe next time… It was near enough to heaven. Torres was in ecstasy. Paris was in agony. Seven was working my Engineer’s clit with wild abandon while meeting Harry’s forceful thrusts. Harry was really enjoying the ride, the view and Tom’s fevered gaze on them. And it went on until Torres came very loudly -- more loudly than I’d heard before. Then Seven began to buck against Harry sending him over. She came a spilt second later.

I gave them a moment to regain composure. "Mr. Kim, release Mr. Paris before he loses consciousness. I think he’s beginning to remember past lessons."

"Yes, Mistress," Kim mumbled. He stumbled over to the pillar on rubbery legs.

Harry released the imprisoned cock first to Tom’s obvious relief. His organs were near purple and deeply grooved. Kim leaned against Paris after removing the nipple clamps. He removed the gag then ran a gentle finger across his lips. He released the shackles then backed away. The look of lust and longing on Tom’s face was intense, but he didn’t move.

"Get dressed. There are clothes in the corner," I said. Tom stumbled about trying to comply. "I will be sending B’Elanna along in a little while, though she is to give you no release tonight. I also have some new boundaries for you all. Tom, B’Elanna, you are not to engage either Harry or Seven without my presence. It’s going to take some careful guidance to adjust to this situation."

They all glanced at each other with degrees of disappointment, but they acknowledged the order.

"Patience, Dear Ones, is always well rewarded," I said.

That was when the red alert sounded.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

"Janeway here."

"We’ve got a situation here. We need you on the Bridge."

"On my way," I said. "Party’s over folks, let’s move."
 
 

Chakotay was livid when I reached the Bridge. He noticed our state of slight dishevelment, of course. His glance lighted on me several times during the briefing. I didn’t respond to that. But when he nearly bit Harry’s head off for not answering a question quickly enough, I had to tersely return the focus to the matter at hand.

After assessing the data, I determined that the party was indeed over for some time to come. The problem was more than a small shipload of telepathic refugees. It was the vast Devore Imperium and it’s psychotic paranoia. Luck was on our side though. In meeting the refugees before we met any government officials, we found out that we had to to protect Tuvok and Vorick. Between the work necessary to construct our hiding place for the telepaths and the constant state of heightened alert as we passed through Devore space, no one gave a thought to erotic games.

That brought tension enough. Then, there was Chakotay. I had begun to push without even trying and he did not like it. Our first clash came right after the initial briefing about the refugees. He waited to speak to me as everyone else filed out of the room.

"Commander?"

"Permission to speak freely."

"Of course," I sighed.

"I don’t think it’s good decorum to come to a briefing directly from…"

"The Holodeck?" I countered. "I’ve never objected to crewmen in sporting attire if it saved time on an urgent matter. I am in uniform."

"You know what I mean."

"I know that I am an affront only to you," I muttered. "You asked me to take her back."

"Yes, I did. But I hadn’t thought…"

"You didn’t count on the extra dick."

"Kathryn," she sighed.

"They are a couple. It would have done tremendous damage to both of them to bring her back alone," I replied tiredly.

Chakotay hung his head. The fight seemed to drain out of him.

"My apologies."

"You don’t have to suffer through this, Chakotay," I said. "You can find some measure of peace here without this baggage."

"I don’t want peace," he said in a husky voice. "I want paradise."

He left me then. I sighed in annoyance. It would have served me better to fight with him, but he might have touched me. Then, the ruse would be over. I had to find another way.
 
 

Enter Kashyk. I had never intended to use the Inspector in this effort. He was far too dangerous for me to play games with. My ship was in dire trouble. And the man who held our fate in his hands was not really attracted to the Captain. He was attracted to some woman who looked like me and had a Circle primed and ready with no where to go and a sexy, magnetic First Officer who was torn between throttling her and pounding her into oblivion. I was throwing off enough intense pheromones that I could attract a warp coil. The chemistry between us just happened.

Kashyk was an attractive man. There were moments when I almost forgot why he and his men were on Voyager and enjoyed the banter we would share during those awful searches. However, I was never so taken with him that I didn’t see him clearly. He really enjoyed the power he wielded. Even the little gesture of playing music during the searches was meant to show my crew that the Captain had been usurped and he held their lives in his hands. And that power was tied to his position. I’d always thought it improbable that I could sway him from that lure.

But I did interest him. In part because in my own subtle way, I always challenged his power. Then, there was Barrows. She took great delight in "helping" Kashyk and in particular Prax search the Holodeck. She puzzled them by refusing to be shut down then appearing in every cupboard and behind every door they looked in. And always she was very friendly and exceedingly helpful. It drove Prax absolutely crazy and irked Kashyk to no end.

At first her outrageous behavior made me nervous, but it did have an unforeseen benefit. Despite the evidence from their powerful scanners that there were no living beings in the Holodeck, the search teams believed that there had to be something hidden there. I think it kept them from really focusing on the cargo bay. Barrows also made me more of an enigma to Kashyk.

"Why would anyone design such an irritating being?" He demanded after his third search of the ship.

I chuckled at that. "You give me far too much credit as a programmer, Inspector. I merely imprinted her personality onto a holoprogram with the parameters that she had the power over her environment necessary to be Barrows. And Barrows was a megalomaniac. I’m sure you know the type."

He let that pass without comment. "But why would a woman like you need to have such a being in her life?"

I shrugged. "I have many more facets than my surface. I’m sure you do as well."

That peaked his interest in me. Almost every one of my senior staff noticed his shift in attitude. They agreed that this should be exploited. I would attempt to get closer to Kashyk to make him an ally or at least really distract him until Voyager reached the rendezvous for the refugees. That is, most of my senior staff agreed. Once again, as the others filed out, I was left with a glowering Chakotay.

"This is not a personal matter, Commander. This… attraction has been the only weakness any of the Devore have shown," I said quietly.

"It is dangerous," he said. Gods, there was so much passion and anger in his eyes.

"I can handle him," I said with confidence.

"What if he wants more than you are willing to give? It could make the situation even worse than it is," Chakotay said. The question seemed to be torn from him.

I didn’t want to hurt him, but there seemed no way to avoid that.

"What if I’m willing to do whatever it takes?" I whispered.

And I did hurt him. I didn’t let my demeanor soften.

He sighed. "Do as you wish, Kathryn. You always do."

The Commander left me. He looked very tired. He was wrong. I was not doing what I wanted. My real desires were more on the line of having him rip my clothes off and claim me right on the conference table and forever silence the doubts in my head. I was very interested in feeling the contrast of the cool smooth table against my warm skin while his hot mouth lapped me into insanity. I wanted him to torture my nipples with those skilled knowing fingers while he pumped thickly into me having not bothered to remove his clothes. I wondered what Neelix would think if he breezed in and found me on my back with my arms flung wide and my legs over the Commander’s shoulders wailing in wild abandon. That’s what was on my mind. But I let Chakotay go instead. I had to deal with Kashyk alone and ultimately the estrangement was best for the Commander.

And I was very much alone in tangling with the Inspector. If I’d revealed to anyone how much this gambit frightened me, my senior staff would have tried to find a way to spare me. But that was not the best thing for my ship. Thus, I let Kashyk play me like a fiddle and in doing so, I played him into a corner. That was one of the most satisfying outcomes to a scenario that I’d ever experienced on Voyager. It was a delight to see that oh so smug Inspector realize that not only had he failed to capture my heart, but he had been had as well. What made it all the sweeter was that I knew that Prax would eventually turn him in. Kashyk would push his luck again. Unfortunately, neither Voyage nor any of the Inspector’s victims would see it.

The plan had succeeded on many levels. Commander Chakotay was silent where I was concerned personally. The anger had subsided. I couldn’t really detect sadness. There was only cordial professionalism. That was what I wanted, wasn’t it? I put on a brave but friendly face and tried to move on.
 
 

I summoned Torres to my quarters for dinner days after we cleared the Devore Imperium. I needed to set some rules for what was to come and talk about the feelings I read from her during the last session.

We had a leisurely meal and talked about nothing in particular. I wanted her to relax.

"There is a lot to discuss about the return of both you and Tom," I said after dessert.

"Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no. That session was really lovely despite the interruption," I said. "But it’s time to bring Tom back in completely. He has been very patient and it’s only fair."

"Yes, Mistress," she replied. But there was some hesitation.

"But you don’t feel comfortable."

She shrugged.

"Is it Seven?"

"Yes… but it’s Harry, too. It’s anyone who makes him come that isn’t me," she replied. "And I know it isn’t fair."

"No, it isn’t. But I’ll help you with that," I said. "I will always be present when he is with any of the Circle. You will get a full account and Tom will come to you immediately afterward."

"Mistress…" Torres said. She still seemed uncertain.

"B’Elanna, sweetness. At least this is a pastime that doesn’t involve a vehicle or Captain Proton," I said. "How often does he come to you after that?"

"Never," Torres admitted ruefully.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"We will begin this soon, pet," I said.

She took a deep breath. "Yes, Mistress."

"Good. Enjoy the results," I said as she departed.
 
 

It was 2200 hours when Torres left. I was too restless to read or recreate. After wandering about the ship for a time, I ended up in my Ready Room reviewing recent data from Astrometrics. That kept me absorbed until my door chimed at 0100. Chakotay entered with a padd in hand.

"I was told you were here," he said. "One less report to sign off on…"

"Thanks," I muttered accepting it. "All blissfully routine, I see."

"Yes."

"Consider it signed off. Have a good night, Commander," I said.

"Would you join me for a cup of tea?"

I glanced up at him then quickly looked away. "I should finish this."

"Things are blissfully routine, remember? And you took tired," he said softly.

"I’m fine, Chakotay. Really."

"Why won’t you look at me?"

"Because your voice is soft and warm. It’s been too long since you’ve touched me and I’m too weak," I thought. "What has all of this denial been for if I can’t follow through."

"Don’t worry about me, please," I whispered. "Have a good night."

"Kathryn."

I had a thought to remind myself to have Barrows whip me until I had no skin on my back for my weakness.

"Well, if you want to stay, I’ll just get to bed," I said in irritation.

"I thought you had Astrometrics studies to review," he said.

I looked at him ready to bite his head off for insolence, but I fell into his stare.

"Why Kathryn? Why put us through this torture?"

"It’s for the best, Chakotay."

"Best for whom? You know how I feel. That isn’t changing. If I thought that your feelings has changed… someday, I could move on," he said thoughtfully. "Maybe…"

"How do you know my feelings haven’t changed?"

"I wondered about Kashyk. You seemed enthralled by his wit and refinement," he admitted. There was some pain in his expression. "But I know your eyes. I know what I’m seeing now."

I stood to keep the desk between us. I needed distance.

"How can I think of turning from you when you love me enough to set me free?"

He made a move around the desk. I fled to the sofa not wanting a scene on the Bridge.

"Don’t…" I whispered.

Chakotay knelt in front of me just short of touching me. "I won’t push you. Just listen to me for a moment. How are you getting Torres to give you Tom? I know her well. Once she chooses a playmate, she doesn’t like to share."

I was confused by what seemed to be a change in subject. "I told her that I would always be present when Tom has a session with anyone. That she will get an account from everyone present and that Tom will go to her immediately after a session."

"Why these measures?"

"Well… my being present will keep the encounters an official session… a structured intimacy," I replied. "The detailed accounts will assure that nothing is being hidden from her. And Tom’s coming to her afterward and sharing the experience will make her more secure in the relationship."

He smiled at me. "That’s what I want… the accounts… the visits afterward," he said. "That’s what I need. Not distance from you."

"You would read the logs again?"

"Maybe," he replied. "I just like to know that I could if I want to. I insist on seeing you afterward in an erotic haze, sated but still on the verge of coming again…"

"Ready for you," I whispered.

"Ready, pliable, willing," he whispered leaning forward. "Call for the door lock, Kathryn."

"I am not leaving here looking like I’ve been ravished," I said holding him at bay.

"I feared that when you were with the Inspector. I would have killed him," Chakotay murmured darkly. "Come with me, now."

I did. Somehow we were in my quarters naked and heading for orgasm. He’d kissed me in the turbolift which apparently shorted out my synapses. I remembered bidding the crew goodnight one moment. The next moment he was thrusting into me while his mouth was sealed onto mine.

In the afterglow, I relaxed on Chakotay’s chest. His hands were in my hair.

"Missed you," I yawned.

"I felt like a part of me was gone, Kathryn," he sighed.

I had, too. I couldn’t tell him. But I would make sure that I showed him.

Home
39: Objective/Subjective