Blair,

Forgive me for typing this. I tried to write it by hand, but my hands weren't steady. At least this will be legible and I can spell check it. This is difficult enough for me. Trying to remember and record the complicated emotions involved with my training while knowing that you're naked and waiting for me is making it almost impossible. You're a distraction when you're in those ratty sweat clothes and holey socks. Thinking of you in bed... I've got to stop this.

I accepted the assignment with more interest than for any typical case. First off, there was the curiosity about why someone like Genevieve Arnaud would come to Cascade. Even the most hardcore in the scene in this town wouldn't be nearly sophisticated enough for someone in her league. I didn't think I had a chance at being chosen by her. I could play off some hookers or a potential john for a little while, but I didn't think I could sell myself to a connoisseur like Mistress Genevieve.

My confidence wasn't bolstered by the word that Genevieve was turning down all comers. How was I going to break through? It occurred to me that Tops living the lifestyle full time expect to be treated with the respect of their station at all times. The other contenders were treating her like a high class hooker. I decided on another approach.

I put on my best suit and got a haircut with a manicure. You know, the works. I looked pretty smooth, if I say so myself. The tail on her told me where she would be dining. I made sure that my table had a clear view of hers. The choice of wine was not mine. I asked the sommelier to recommend something appropriate for the meal she had ordered.

My heart fluttered when her gaze settled on me after the waiter pointed my way. Then, I really got nervous as she considered me. I wasn't sure how I would reconstruct my ego if she rejected me. The waiter returned after what seemed like forever to ask me to join Genevieve.

"A lovely wine should be shared whenever possible," Genevieve said as I sat across from her.

"I agree," I replied hoping my voice sounded normal. "My name is Jim."

"Good evening, Jim," she said. "Are you a regular diner here?"

"No. Most of my eating out involves a lot of grease and hot sauce," I said.

She smiled at me. "Then, I'll help you with your order. The fare here is elegant and flavorful."

I shrugged. "Why don't I have what you're having?"

"Simpler still."

Genevieve motioned for the waiter and placed the order. We split the hors d'oevers already on the table.

"Are you a life long resident of Cascade?"

"Save for my time in the military, yes."

"How long were you in the military?"

I told her. We talked about my time in Peru. She wanted to know what I enjoyed about my training in the service.

I thought for a while. "I liked the physical aspects of the service."

"Why?"

"When I'm pushing my body to the limits, my mind is clear of everything but what my body is doing. It gives me a sort of peace," I said. The admission surprised me. I hadn't thought about that or why I spent so much time working out in the gym back then.

There were other questions over the main course of mahi mahi about my time in the military and why I left. I was surprised at her interest. Even my closest army buddies had long stopped listening about my groaning over the how the Army handled the Peru thing and why I felt compelled to leave an organization I had planned to make my career. But her expression encouraged me. Her gaze supported me. I felt an unaccustomed rush of emotion at how lightly my charges against the Colonel were taken. She absorbed my anger and frustration allowing me to release it like a slow exhale. It surprised me to learn that the restaurant was almost empty when I finished talking. I felt drained, but I wasn't ready to leave her.

"Why don't we talk again at my hotel. Is seven pm convenient?" she asked me.

"That would be fine. I look forward to it," I said.

My captain was pleased but dismayed. I couldn't tell him how I managed to get close to Genevieve. I felt exposed. I didn't want to share that with the bullpen. I also didn't want the Captain knowing how much I told her about myself. Not that it mattered anyway. My cover was blown before I had opened my mouth.

"How long was it after leaving the Army that you became a policeman?" Genevieve asked.

We had just finished a light meal of spicy tuna sushi and were having wine on the love seat near the fire place. She placed a hand on my chest when I started.

"Don't feel bad, Jim. I have had to learn how to spot law officers as a matter of survival. There aren't many that I can't see," she said with a smile. "A few of the Hong Kong officers who spend years inside the Triads. I don't see them. Your men are good, but I spotted every one of them right away." I let out a long sigh. My heart was in my stomach.

"Now what?" I asked.

"Now, you answer my question," she replied sipping her wine.

I did. I talked about my early career how I felt about the work I did, my supervisors and my co-workers. Again, she listened intently to what I would have considered whining twenty-four hours before. When I finished, I was staring into the fire. Somehow, I shook off the morose feeling.

"When do I get to hear about you?" I asked trying to smile.

"Not for some time," she smiled. "Let me tell you about you, beautiful Jim Ellison."

Genevieve curled up on the sofa close to me. She had me refill her glass. Her right hand held the glass. Her left hand rested along my shoulders.

"You think of yourself as a solitary man... a loner. And you do function well that way, but you are far more complex than that. You crave the structure of authority as much as you crave your independence," she began.

I must have looked puzzled. Genevieve smiled.

"You left your father's home supposedly for your freedom, yet you join the military. Not only do you join the military, you go for Special Forces with even more rigid discipline.

"When that structure failed to provide you what you needed, you left it for another similar structure," she said. I felt her fingers stroking gently at the hair on the nape of my neck.

"So you say that I crave discipline?" My voice was provocative. It couldn't be helped.

"That isn't a bad thing... especially not to me," she said softly. "That is one element that would make you a good pet for me."

"Can you tell me what some of the others may be?" I smiled hoping that my being a subconscious doormat was not all that she saw in me.

"You have an innate sensuality," she said.

"I don't know about that. I'm a former ground pounder and a flatfoot who loves greasy spoons," I said with a laugh.

Her gaze was warm as she considered me. "You didn't shovel food in your mouth and swallow without tasting. You breathed with each mouthful as if to capture the entire taste. I notice that you keep smelling my hair whenever you get the opportunity. You are enjoying the subtlest of my touch," she said. "I know you like to kiss. You like to kiss until your lover swoons in you arms. I know those kisses can tease or comfort or overwhelm. I know you love to use that tongue. You like to taste your lover. I know you use your strength on a lover only for pleasure. Jim, you are a highly sensual being. Refining that will be a simple matter."

I stood up then. Partly because I had an erection that was killing me and partly because I needed the distance to try to do my job. Though at that moment, I didn't really care about the assignment.

"So how do we do this?" I asked. "Do we make some sort of arrangement for sessions?"

Genevieve was annoyed by that. "I don't have any kind of rate, my addle headed constable. And those who give me gifts have to work very hard to earn that right.

"This is about giving yourself to me totally. You must trust that I will give you what you crave without violating who you are and what you do," Genevieve said. Suddenly she was standing in front of me.

"Have you ever been restrained?"

I nodded.

"Have you ever been held still while a lover slowly explored your body? Have you ever been denied release until you thought you would go mad with need?" She asked in a husky whisper. Her hands ran down my chest to my abs. I stayed absolutely still while drowning in her eyes and craving her mouth.

Then, she turned away from me. I almost dropped to my knees and screamed.

"You should go," she said. "Think about what I offer carefully. Know what you are entering into, Jim. Then, get back to me."

I didn't think I'd ever be able to think of anything else. I whacked off three times before the next morning and it still left me wanting.

I have to stop now, Babe. I have to have you.
 
 

Blair carefully placed the pages back in the envelope then put the envelope back in his drawer. He treated the papers as if they were remnants of something long gone and forgotten. It did seem to him at the time that they were the only thing left of his lover.

James Ellison was alive and physically well. He was doing his job and interacting with people on a surface level. But the man who was his lover was not there. What was worse, the depression that gripped the Sentinel was serious and growing. The Guide could not reach him. He didn't even have the energy to cry.

A soft knock at the door startled Blair from his thoughts. Genevieve stood in the doorway appraising him. She wore a black hooded cloak and was, as always, a vision.

"I don't need to ask how things are. It is all on your face," she said softly. "I should have come as soon as I heard, but I was embroiled in a very delicate matter."

"You know?" Blair said. His voice sounded rusty.

"I knew. I didn't want to send a messenger," she replied. "How is Jim?"

Blair's eyes welled up in spite of himself. He found himself crying in her arms. "Hurt, guilt ridden over h-her... over us... He won't talk."

"He will talk to me."

"Genevieve..."

"Have that Banks person find him and send him home. You will come with me now."

Ordinarily, Blair would have chuckled at such an order to Simon Banks, but the Captain was worried about Jim as well. He couldn't get his lead detective to take time off or to see anyone about his feelings. Maybe he was desperate enough to listen to Genevieve. He made the call.

"He's calling Jim in now," Blair said with surprise. A little ray of hope lifted his painfully heavy heart.

"Get your things," Genevieve said.
 
 

The Mistress was serene as she sipped tea in the loft watching the fire. Her calm began to ease Blair. He stopped pacing and sat down.

"That's better," she said.

Blair almost smiled, then he heard the key in the lock. Jim's expression was curious. He undoubtedly sensed Genevieve's presence. She did not move until Jim stood before her.

"You look terrible," she said sternly. "Sit down, Jim. Blair, get him some tea."

Jim sank onto the sofa. He accepted the tea, but remained a tight ball of nerves. Genevieve set her cup down and considered him carefully.

"This must stop, my Dear One. You are destroying yourself and Blair for no good reason," Genevieve said quietly. "She was not worthy of this level of self flagellation. I'm only surprised that she didn't manage to kill you as she destroyed herself."

Blair wondered how Genevieve would be able to get to Jim. Pissing him off was not something Blair would have tried. And Jim was pissed.

"Mistress, I mean no disrespect, but you have no idea what you are talking about," he said evenly.

"But I do, my dear. I know more about that cloying, maudlin, self absorbed little idiot than anyone living," Genevieve said with a barely contained fury that shocked both men. "Darling, tragic Lila was my sister."

Jim looked as if the breath had been knocked out of him. "Genevieve... how could you..."

"Speak that way? Years of experience. We had the same wayward father and discovered one another as girls at the orphanage. Thus began a routine of rescuing her from a mess, helping her heal, listening to promises to change then panicking when she disappeared," Genevieve said with a sigh.

"She said that she was trapped in the Triad," Jim said. He seemed less certain.

"It never had to be that way for her," Genevieve said tiredly. "I realized very early on that to choose one meant the others would be against you. That meant you had to remain with the one for protection. However, there are people and careers which remain neutral and deal with all factions. I stayed in the orphan's school until I found my benefactor, my Master. Lila chose the streets."

"The Master even tired to help Lila. He had to because I kept risking myself to drag her out of trouble. But the British carry little weight with the Triads. When I inherited the Master's business and had slaves from all factions like Jet Lin, I told her that she had the protection to free herself. Jet Lin even extended the offer after he left service. She could have come to any of my homes and no one would dare touch her."

Blair was dumbfounded. "Why didn't she?"

"She thought me a whore for hire," Genevieve replied. "To stand with me meant she was a whore as well, I suppose. She would be what she considered our mothers to be."

There was a thoughtful silence for a time. Each of them lapsed into their own thoughts.

"Jim, she was my sister. The only family I had on this Earth. I tired to save her for most of my life," Genevieve said. "There was no way that you could have succeeded. She felt doomed."

"Why?"

Genevieve smiled. "A taint in the blood that forever traps us between worlds belonging to neither."

"Ah... the tragic mulatto," Blair said.

"Yes," Genevieve said ruefully. "A waste of time and energy. Blood is blood. And there are advantages to being exotic."

Jim looked at the Mistress. He had softened considerable over the last few moments. To Blair he seemed very vulnerable. "Did you know that he had... when we first..."

"No," Genevieve said. "I found out a long time after I left Cascade. There was a photograph. I believed your encounter meant nothing, because you never mentioned her amongst your lovers."

"I can't help but mourn her," Jim said quietly.

"Nor can I. There was a reason I fought so hard to save her," Genevieve said gently. "But you must absolve yourself. There was no way for any one to influence her choices. I have indulged the briefest thought that were I here this could have been avoided, and this is despite of all that I know about her."

Genevieve motioned for Blair to go to Jim. The Guide was hesitant but obeyed. He followed his instincts and wrapped his arms around Jim's waist. The embrace was returned with the Sentinel anchoring his hand in Blair's hair.

"I don't know why you stay with me," Jim whispered in Blair's curls.

"You have the best butt on the planet," Blair said snuggling against him. "As soon as that goes, I'm outta here."

"I'll keep that in mind," Jim replies with a wry smile.

"I'm going home," Genevieve said. "There are things I must do on my sister's behalf. Tomorrow, I will see you both for the day."

"What things?" Jim asked with concern.

"Her death was an affront to me. I will not let it pass quietly. I won't start a war, but certain tributes must be made. Perhaps funding for a school... a bientot loves."

Jim met her eyes briefly before she closed the door. They were sheened with tears. Somehow, he knew they were more for him than for Lila. He tightened his hold on Blair who was trembling.

"I'm so sorry, Chief," Jim murmured into his curls.

"I didn't know what to do," he said quietly.

"You were perfect," Jim murmured. "Patient, giving...."

Jim tilted Blair's head up to look at his face. "May I kiss you, Blair?"

"Yes," he whispered closing his eyes.

It had been so long since Blair felt those lips, he was beginning to think he had hallucinated them. But there they were brushing against his and teasing them open for that silken hot tongue.

Jim held him gently pressing his flesh against his body without overwhelming him. After a moment of hesitation, Blair realized that Jim wasn't going to pull away and relaxed into the kiss. It took a whole lot of restraint for Jim not to ravish that mouth. The exploration was slow and gentle. When he raised his mouth, Blair was restless.

"More..." Blair breathed.

Jim grunted at the plea covering his love's half open mouth. Blair responded heatedly while looping his arms around Jim's neck straining for more contact. He'd been starving for that touch and that tongue. All the cold pain in the pit of his stomach melted away during that searing kiss.

"Please Blair," Jim whispered against his lips. "Tell me what you want."

"You... please... now..."

Jim hoisted Blair up into his arms and the Guide wrapped his legs around his waist. He carried him to the bedroom. It had to be there. They had not shared that bed in a long time. But it wasn't going to be easy. At that point, his beautiful clingy Guide was no help. After trying to coax Blair into letting go long enough to get naked, Jim had to take matters in hand.

He kissed that irresistible mouth until Blair swooned. His limbs turned to jelly and were then easy to disengage. Jim quickly undressed his dazed beauty. He had wanted Blair in the days after Lila's death, but he just couldn't go to him. His behavior had been outrageous on so many levels. The Guide would have forgiven him. Somehow, that just made it worse. Jim hadn't sought forgiveness. He didn't feel he deserved it. Thus, he'd denied himself the pleasure and comfort that would have healed them both. The time for denial was over.

They were soon naked and skin to skin. Blair was beyond helping Jim. He wondered vaguely how the Mistress would teach him control when all his will melted under Jim's tongue. And Jim was without mercy that night exploring Blair's skin in almost the same way he had the first time they made love.

Jim made love with Blair slowly and reverently. The emotions were so raw that they wept quietly in the aftermath. Jim held Blair against him loving the familiar weight of the boneless Guide.

"You owe me more pages," Blair mumbled against Jim's chest.

"I know."

"I want them before we see her tomorrow."

Beneath Blair's sleepy, sexy voice was a thread of steel. That surprised him. He decided to test it.

"Doing them won't save me from punishment."

"No, it won't," Blair replied. "But that isn't why you should want to do them."

"To please you."

"Absolutely," Blair replied. He raised his head to look at Jim. "You want to please me."

"Oh, yeah," Jim whispered. "I'll do it now."

Blair leveraged himself up to kiss his love full on the lips for a long heated moment.

"No, wait until I'm asleep. I want to drift off like this. Been so long..."

Jim held Blair more snugly against his body. It felt good to hold the sleepy Guide again, so he savored the opportunity. He gently massaged Blair's scalp with one hand and rubbed his back with the other. His love sighed. The Sentinel adored that moment when Blair would let go and drift deeply into sleep against him. It would be the most relaxed and vulnerable he would see the Guide for the next 24 hours. It was when Blair felt most his. With reluctance, Jim turned the warm limp form until Blair was on his back. Then, he tucked his love snugly under the covers and went downstairs to find Blair's laptop.
 
 

Here we go then.

I was afraid of her for almost the same reasons that I wanted her. I knew I would lose control of my body. She would make me release feelings that I had long buried. She would make me see a side of myself that I hadn't imagined existed. I'd heard of Tops making bottoms have sex with anyone they chose. I wasn't sure of how I felt about anyone having that kind of control over me. I pressed the issue anyway.

Her instructions had been simple. I was to be showered and naked when I called. The room should be comfortably warm and lit with candles. There should be music playing softy. It was an entirely sensual place like you set for me on special occasions. Ironically, the first thing she had me do when I got on the phone was take slow, deep breaths.

"It's your body, my sweet," she said. "There's nothing to be nervous about."

"Okay."

"You are to call me Mistress, Jim."

"Yes, Mistress."

I found myself seriously considering my feet while naked on the sofa. They looked as uninteresting to me as they had been that morning or any other morning. Yet there I sat considering them with more than a little concern. It was a certainty that the Mistress would know if my reactions to instructions were genuine. I knew failure would set me back in her eyes. That would jeopardize my assignment, but I just didn't think I could get excited about my tootsies. Those guys that got off on sucking toes or caressing shoes confused the hell out of me.

"Relax, Jim. Focus your attention on the soles of your feet," she said. Her tone relaxed me. I closed my eyes and immediately felt less ridiculous.

Genevieve told me to gently rub my feet to get a feel for them. The lightest touch tickled me, so I was instructed in a tolerant tone to increase the pressure slightly. I noticed a warm, pleasant sensation when I rubbed the balls of my feet. It got stronger when I massaged the instep. Then I hit an area of my instep that sent the warmth straight to my groin. My cock jumped and I groaned into the phone.

"I knew you had sensitive flesh," she said. Her voice almost purred. That was driving me crazy. "Let's find some other sensitive places."

You would have loved it, Chief. I explored, caressed or massaged my skin basically from the soles of my feet to my scalp. Aside from the places you've already discovered, I can tell you that attention to the backs of my knees gets a strong reaction from me. I was half out of my mind and nearly incoherent when I finished all the exploring she required of me. The Mistress was pleased enough to schedule the first face to face session and to allow me to bring myself off after we hung up. I can't go into that session right now. I swear I will, but right now I have to sleep.
 
 

An incredible wave of pleasure arced through Jim's sleepy body and mind. He moaned loudly waking himself. He moaned again after looking down the sofa for the cause of that wonderful sensation. Blair was kneeling on cushions with Jim's feet resting on his naked thighs. He was methodically massaging the soles of Jim's feet. All the while, Blair considered his love with an appraising gaze.

"Oh... Babe..." Jim sighed. Blair deepened the touch. The Sentinel tried to move toward his Guide.

"Stay still," Blair said. His voice was husky. Jim trembled at the commanding tone. He stilled for a moment enjoying Blair's touch for as long as he could. That wasn't very long. Blair had very talented fingers and was an extraordinarily fast learner. The Sentinel was just about out of his mind in a surprisingly short time and Blair had not left the soles of his feet.

"Blair...please..."

The Guide wasn't listening or he wasn't heeding. He just kept up the gentle torture. Jim let out a frustrated growl moving suddenly to throw Blair off balance. It was then an easy matter for Jim to lever the smaller man up on top of him and pin him in a strong embrace. Blair tried to struggle, but was overwhelmed by Jim's strength and his own desire.

"Bastard..." he muttered as Jim rolled him onto the floor on top of the blanket which had fallen off Jim during the night. He was pinned down. Jim's hands were free to imprison that beloved face.

"I know... I'll pay... I'll gladly pay..." He murmured before covering Blair's mouth with his own. Blair struggled but not for long. The kiss was sapping his will demanding surrender. Blair knew the incredible pleasure that would come with that surrender. His body craved it and betrayed him.

Jim knew the moment Blair gave in to the kiss. He moved quickly to claim his prize. There was lube in the sofa between the cushions from the last time they didn't make it to the bedroom. Blair hitched up his legs before Jim could turn him on his side.

"I want to see you," Blair whispered. He looked so beautiful, so erotic that Jim almost lost it right then. But he held on for the heaven that waited for him.

And it was heaven pumping inside the hot tightness beneath him. He wouldn't last long. Blair was undulating against him lost in sensation. Just watching him would bring him close to the edge, but hearing him moaning, feeling him in his hand and encasing his cock was all a Sentinel could handle. He increased the pressure on Blair's weeping cock.

"Come for me, Babe. Need... you... there now...."

Blair came and that was Jim's undoing.

Jim held Blair in the sweet aftermath until the Guide was breathing normally. He then cleaned him up and settled the still befuddled young man onto the couch with the blanket around him.

"I'll go shower," he said quietly. Blair nodded.

As soon as the water started flowing, the Guide fumbled about with the blanket around him to find the phone. Genevieve was put on right away, but she seemed distracted.

"Is this a bad time?" he asked.

Something about his voice must have caught he attention. She paused a moment.

"No, pet. Tell me what's on your mind."

Blair quickly related what happened when he woke Jim earlier. He wasn't angry at the Sentinel. He enjoyed being so intensely and thoroughly loved. He also wanted to be the Top that Jim seemed to want him to be. However, the more he learned, the more willful Jim became.

He was confused.

Genevieve was supportive, and Blair thought, delighted.

"You are doing well, my sweet. Better than you realize," she said. There was excitement in that silken voice. "He's provoking you into subduing him. He's playing the game. And he has a lot of ammunition because he knows your body and your mind so well."

"Man, does he ever," Blair sighed.

"But you have the same knowledge about him," she assured him. You just need to find your resolve."
"I was pretty ticked off when he turned on me, but that didn't last long."

She chuckled. "It's a start. I'll see you soon."

The water stopped just after Blair hung up the phone. He was in his old room when Jim padded by toward his bedroom.

"This shouldn't be so hard," Blair reasoned. "In his own perverse way, Jim's more willing as a bottom than he is a research subject."

Blair shuddered at the challenge that glinted in Jim's vivid blue eyes just before he was overwhelmed by that big hot body. He finished the shower with a smirk. It would be nice to have his Sentinel under his physical control for a change.
 
 

Genevieve's townhouse was abuzz with activity. Arnaud's assistant, bar manager and maitre'd were all present. The Mistress literally had a phone on each ear. She was firing out orders in three languages. They were motioned to sit on the livingroom sofa where tea was put before them. It seemed to Jim that whatever was going on at that moment was about to be wrapped up. A short while later, they were alone. Genevieve sank into an easy chair. Jim prepared then served her a cup of tea.

"What is going on?" Jim asked.

The Mistress shrugged. "The only thing I'm certain of is that a dozen of my most important European clients are coming to town for a meeting. Thus far, I have not gleaned the reason for the meeting."

"Trouble is afoot," Jim said.

Blair sighed. Jim had that one brow arched up to his hair line. At least he didn't say villainy.

"Yes, something is going on," Genevieve said. "I think you boys will have to be here officially as well as recreationally."

"I'll have to tell Simon something," Jim said.

"Tell him Doom is coming or that's the rumor."

Jim went still. "Doom is a legend."

"No, pet, he is quite real."

"Then he should be dead."

"Evil has a long life," she said.

"Indeed," Jim said. "I'll call Simon. Excuse me."

Blair sighed. "It's all I can do to keep him from buying the tights and cape now. Why'd he have to have a name like Doom? And what does this mean for training?"

"It'll make it easier. Jim will be at least acting his role as part of being undercover, and he'll be distracted enough to be a less potent erotic force while I train you," Genevieve said. "Training won't be the problem. The problem will be Doom."

"Well, it's always something," Blair sighed. "What now?"

"You'll find some things in the guest room for your training including some reading. You get settled. Tell Jim I'll be on the balcony," she said. Genevieve cupped Blair's face then kissed him briefly.
 
 

Jim found Genevieve staring out at the cold Cascade night sky. There was a little shrine on a small table next to the railing. There were some oragami figures laid out in front of a small brass bowl.

"It is a custom back home to send off loved ones with all that they will need for the after life," she said quietly. "Sort of what the ancient Egyptians did but without the pyramid."

She turned to the shrine. "I have a golden rickshaw so that she may never tire her feet; a horse so that she may ride the heavens freely..."

"What is this one?" Jim asked picking up the blue paper man.

"A sentry to guard her and to keep her company," Genevieve replied. She placed the figures in the bowl and handed Jim a match. "Send her spirit on it's way, my Dear One. And return your heart where it belongs."

Jim lit the match then the figures. Genevieve added a tiny bit of incense. After a moment of silence, the Mistress took Jim's arm and they went inside. The fire died and all that remained was the sweet smoke and embers.

"May I be of service?"

"You have pages to do," Genevieve replied. "Then you must rest. Tomorrow, we may be facing Doom."

Home
Siren Saga 11: Doom
Orders 1: Orders