Starship Voyeur
by Dirk Blaze & 'Figgs' Newton

EXT. SPACE

The starship VOYEUR cruises through space.

PAINWAY (VO)

Captain's Log: Stardate 4983.2, Captain Katherine Painway reporting. It's been over three years since fate has deposited us on board the Starship Voyeur thousands of light years from home in the distant Delta Phi Omega Quadrant. My crew valiantly struggles with the loneliness of our forced separation from humanity as we boldly explore this strange and remote section of space, all while looking for a way home...
(beat)
God, I'm horny.

INT. CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

A small office just off the main bridge. It has a desk and two chairs, as well as a small sofa by the wall. Painway has made this room her own, with feminine touches of great taste. At this moment, the beautiful CAPTAIN PAINWAY is sharing coffee and her morning briefing with her first officer, COMMANDER CHOKEONTHIS.

PAINWAY

Commander Chokeonthis, what is the ship's status?

CHOKEONTHIS

Well, Lt. Torrid has just finished a complete rundown of all ship systems, and we're in excellent shape.

Painway puts her hand on his.

PAINWAY

I have every faith in the lieutenant. I know that with her in Engineering, we'll never have to worry about the ship's condition.

CHOKEONTHIS

Yes... Well... Anyway, the latest crew pysch reports are in...

PAINWAY
(squeezing his hand)

And?

CHOKEONTHIS

Voyeur's crew is holding under the stress of isolation much better than expected. We'll probably end up in some text book.

Painway has moved behind him, and is absentmindedly massaging his shoulders.

PAINWAY

This crew is the best I've ever served with. We'll get through it.

CHOKEONTHIS

Captain?

PAINWAY

Yes, Chokeonthis?

CHOKEONTHIS

I... I haven't had sex in three years.

Painway digs her fingers into his shoulders.

PAINWAY

I know Commander. Neither have I.

Chokeonthis stands, sweeping Painway into his arms and pressing her against the wall.

CHOKEONTHIS

Katherine. We can't ignore what's happening between us.

PAINWAY

(reluctantly)
Commander, you know the regulations about fraternization between officers.

Chokeonthis kisses her passionately.

CHOKEONTHIS

This far from Earth. What do regulations mean anymore?

Painway pushes him away. She is torn.

PAINWAY

Now more than ever.

CHOKEONTHIS

You can't be a slave to regulations.

PAINWAY

This is hard on me as well. You don't know how hard. Really. But we must be patient.

CHOKEONTHIS

Until when? Until we get back home? Face it, we're going to be old and gray before that happens.

PAINWAY

Chokeonthis...

CHOKEONTHIS

Don't give me your hollow pity.

Chokeonthis storms out. Painway drops into her chair dejected. She picks up a report, glances at it, then drops it back on the desk.

PAINWAY (VO)

It was times like this when I often thought of a simpler time back on Earth.

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. MANSION - DAY

Slow tracking shot past the exterior.

PAINWAY (VO)

There I owned a modest chalet. It wasn't much, but it was home to me.

INT. MANSION LIVING ROOM - DAY

A beautiful, elegant place. One can just hear the moaning in the background. Begin slow, sensuous, elegant music.

PAINWAY (VO)

I spent many a quiet afternoon there, passing away the time between missions.

The camera tracks over to the grand stairway.

INT. READY ROOM

Her eyes closed, Painway's hands passes over her body, settling on her breasts.

INT. MANSION STAIRWAY - DAY

As the camera moves up the steps, the moaning slowly grows louder.

BACK TO SCENE

Still fully dressed, Painway squirms, one hand fondling her breast, the other massaging her pussy.

INT. MANSION SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY - DAY

Track slowly towards a partially open door.

BACK TO SCENE

Painway convulses suddenly, then slides her hand into her pants.

INT. MANSION BEDROOM - DAY

Slow panning shot around the sumptuous bedroom. The light streams in through the windows. The moans are quiet loud now.

PAINWAY (VO)

Mike... How I missed my fiancé Mike...

BACK TO SCENE

Eyes closed, Painway slides off her pants and panties.

INT. MANSION BEDROOM - DAY

Close-up on MIKE, eyes closed, breathing heavily through his nose. As the camera pulls back and down, reveal that Mike is tied down to the four poster bed. Reveal that a woman is sucking his dick.

PAINWAY (VO)

As well as my other fiancée, Susan.

SUSAN is the source of the moaning, in between blowing Mike. She is wearing a leash, which we pan back to reveal is being held by Painway, dressed in a tasteful dominatrix outfit. She is fucking Susan doggy style with a strap on dildo.

Occasionally, Susan stops sucking Mike so she can concentrate on being fucked. That's when Painway gives her another tug on the leash, forcing her back to work.

PAINWAY (VO)

We were a fine match. I was a dominatrix, they were my slaves.

Finally, it's all too much for her, and Susan screams out her orgasm, collapsing on the bed.

BACK TO SCENE

Breathing hard, Painway reaches into her desk, pulling out a large dildo. She pulls her shirt up to just below her breasts. She runs the dildo across her abdomen, then over her clit. Slowly, carefully, she works it into her pussy. Painway moans.

INT. MANSION BEDROOM - DAY

Eyes averted, Susan carefully removes Painway's strap on. She bows her head until it touches the bed. Painway pulls lightly on her leash, and Susan rises to her height. Painway strokes Susan's jaw, then kisses her deeply and passionately.

Painway releases Susan, and turns her attention towards Mike.

BACK TO SCENE

Painway is fucking herself with long, slow, powerful strokes.

INT. MANSION BEDROOM - DAY

Grabbing Mike's cock, Painway begins crawling up his body; at every inch she gives him little kisses; his thighs, his dick, his stomach, his chest. Her nipples run across his body. She never lets go of his cock, which she jacks almost absentmindedly.

When she reaches his face, she stays just far enough away that he must strain to meet her kisses. With an evil grin, Painway rises. She turns and straddles Mike's face. As he begins to lap at her pussy, Painway looks at Susan, then tugs on her leash. Susan straddles Mike's dick, sliding it across her clit without ever letting it enter.

She kneels forward and sucks Painway's tits, one after the other.

Mike continues to work on Painway's pussy, pushing her over the edge. Painway moans loudly.

BACK TO SCENE

Painway is fucking herself faster now.

INT. MANSION BEDROOM - DAY

Susan moves aside, as Painway straddles Mike's dick and lowers herself onto it.

BACK TO SCENE

Close-up on Painway as she moans.

INT. MANSION BEDROOM - DAY

Painway fucks Mike vigorously. She arches over his chest as she bears down harder.

She looks at Susan, who removes Mike's restraints. He sweeps Painway into his arms, and they embrace.

Mike rolls her over and begins to fuck her missionary style. Susan returns to sucking Painway's tits while playing with her own pussy.

Mike gathers up Painway's legs, draping them over his shoulders. He begins fucking her even harder, moaning louder and louder. Painway starts screaming. All begin coming.

BACK TO SCENE

Painway is kneeling over the sofa, rubbing her tits on the cushions. She is fucking herself doggy style, moaning uncontrollably. She comes explosively and collapses on the sofa.

The music comes to an abrupt end when an incredibly loud siren goes off. The lights turn red.

PAINWAY

Fuck!!

CHOKEONTHIS (VO)

Battle stations! Battle stations! This is not a drill! Captain to the Bridge!

Throwing the dildo back into the drawer, Painway struggles to pull her clothes back on. Checking her hair, she leaves for the Bridge.

INT. VOYEUR BRIDGE

A practical space. The blond LT. PENIS is at the helm. Chokeonthis is in the Captain's chair. The black Vulgarian LT. TOOFUCKED is to his right and the Asian ENSIGN SIN to his left. The door to Painway's Ready Room opens and she storms in.

SIN

Captain on the Bridge!

PAINWAY

This had better be good, Commander.

Chokeonthis rises from her chair. Painway sits, trying to ignore him.

CHOKEONTHIS

Hostile ship approaching, Captain.

PAINWAY

Lt. Toofucked, what have we got?

TOOFUCKED

It is a Hardon heavy frat cruiser on an intercept course.

EXT. SPACE

The Hardon cruiser approaches, a cross between a zeppelin and a fraternity house.

BACK TO SCENE

SIN

They don't seem to have their weapons armed.

PAINWAY

Very magnanimous of them. Arm ours.

CHOKEONTHIS

What could they possibly be up to now?

SIN

Captain! I'm detecting an energy surge from their ship.

A dull rumble passes over the hull. Everyone glances about nervously.

EXT. SPACE

The Hardon ship bathes Voyeur in a strobing beam of light.

INT. ENGINEERING

Dominating the room is a vertical column of pulsating lights. The Hispanic LT. TORRID is observing the column from her control console.

TORRID

Captain! That energy surge is trying to match our shield frequency. I'm attempting to counteract it.

INT. BRIDGE

PAINWAY

Ensign Sin, go down to Engineering and help Lt. Torrid.

SIN

Yes, Captain.

Sin leaves.

PAINWAY

Lt. Penis, stand by torpedoes.

PENIS

Yes, Ma'am.

CHOKEONTHIS

Where did the Hardons get such a weapon?

PAINWAY

I don't know. Those idiots couldn't start a fire with six gallons of gasoline and a lit torch.

TOOFUCKED

Captain, the Hardon ship is hailing us.

On the viewscreen appears the scruffy Hardon leader, CHAD. He wears a greasy football jersey. His hair is an impenetrable mess.

CHAD (on viewscreen)

This is Chad.

PAINWAY

Yes? And?

CHAD (on viewscreen)

We want beer, man.

PAINWAY

We've told you before, you can't have any.

CHAD (on viewscreen)

That's not fair, man. You guys get to have beer.

PAINWAY

I'm very sorry, but our laws strictly forbid giving our brewing technology to other cultures.

CHAD (on viewscreen)

That sucks.

PAINWAY

If you'd like some soft drinks, we'd be glad to help.

CHAD (on viewscreen)

We don't want your stupid colas, man! We want some beer!

INT. ENGINEERING

Sin has now joined Torrid.

TORRID

Captain! The energy wave is growing in strength!

BACK TO SCENE

CHAD (on viewscreen)

We're gonna fix you, man. We've got a little surprise.

(offscreen)

Bring in the chick!

On the viewscreen, a beautiful dark haired woman, MOLESTA, appears. She is wearing a heavy metal T-shirt, but is otherwise pretty neat.

CHOKEONTHIS
(under his breath)

Oh shit.

MOLESTA (on viewscreen)

Hi, Chokeonthis.

PENIS

Hey, Commander, isn't that your old girlfriend, Molesta?

PAINWAY

Lieutenant.

Chad squeezes Molesta.

CHAD (on viewscreen)

She's my chick now. Cool, huh? She's gonna help us score some brews.

PAINWAY

It won't work, Chad. Her people only know how to make wine coolers.

CHAD (on viewscreen)

But she knows some other cool stuff.

Suddenly, two very large Hardons, BIFF and REGGIE, teleport onto the Bridge.

BIFF & REGGIE

Toga! Toga!

Painway stands. Toofucked and Chokeonthis rush the intruders. Toofucked is pushed aside. Biff and Reggie grab Chokeonthis and teleport away.

PAINWAY

Chad! I demand that you return my first officer immediately.

MOLESTA (on viewscreen)

First you will turn over to use all information on your beer technology, as well as a sufficient supply of hops.

Chad pushes her aside to interrupt. She is clearly annoyed.

CHAD (on viewscreen)

Yeah, man! And some full kegs!

PAINWAY

You've always wanted more than you can handle, Molesta.

MOLESTA (on viewscreen)

You have two hours.

The screen goes blank.

PAINWAY

Painway to Torrid. What happened?

INT. ENGINEERING

Torrid and Sin are frantically checking readouts.

TORRID

I don't know, Captain. The wave was running sequentially through all of the frequencies until it found a harmonic with ours.

BACK TO SCENE

TORRID (VO)

I tried everything I could think of, random frequencies, boosted amplitude. Nothing worked.

PAINWAY (VO)
(over Torrid's speech)

Why is she telling me all this?

(to Torrid)

I'm sure you did your best Lieutenant.

TOOFUCKED

What course of action shall we take, Captain?

PAINWAY

I'm not going to lose a man like Chokeonthis to a bitch like her. Toofucked, Penis, you're with me. We're going to board their ship and get him back.

PENIS

And if that doesn't work?

PAINWAY

There's always Plan B.

TOOFUCKED & PENIS

Yes, Captain.

CUT TO:

EXT. HARDON FRAT CRUISER

INT. HARDON CRUISER

It looks like, well, the hallway of a frat house. Painway, Toofucked and Penis teleport on board.

PAINWAY

We'll have to split up. Penis, you check that way. Toofucked and I will go in this direction.

PENIS

Yes, Ma'am.

CUT TO:

INT. ENGINEERING

Torrid is still going over systems. Sin is helping her. She throws up her hands in frustration.

TORRID

This is impossible! Every time I think things are going okay, something always happens to show what an idiot I am.

(beat)

I'm never going to be worthy of the Captain.

SIN

You can't keep blaming yourself, Torrid.

TORRID

I let everyone down.

SIN

You're a fine engineer.

TORRID

That's very sweet.

SIN

I mean it.

He moves closer to her.

SIN

No one knows their way around this ship like you do.

Sin is standing next to her.

SIN

We're all alone, with no one to help us, yet you manage to keep this ship running.

TORRID

Flatterer.

SIN
(touching her shoulder)

It's all true.

(beat)

We'd all be lost without you. I'd be lost.

TORRID

What are you doing, Sin?

SIN

I... I can't hold back my feelings for you any longer.

Sin looks deeply into her eyes. Then he turns away, embarrassed.

TORRID

I never knew.

SIN

I'm sorry.

Torrid wraps her arms around him, nuzzling her head between his shoulder blades.

TORRID

Don't be.

Sin turns to face her. Tentatively, he kissesher. Then, he and Torrid are locked in a deep kiss. They break and kiss again. When Sin goes for her neck, Torrid moans.

They turn, and Torrid finds herself up against the wall.

TORRID

Yes... Yes...

Their hands are all over each other. Sin starts to kiss lower, right through her uniform. Torrid is going wild, finally pushing Sin away. She then rips her blouse open, revealing her full breasts. She runs her fingers over them for a moment before Sin moves in.

He sucks on each nipple, roughly playing with the opposite breast as he does so. Torrid has her hand in his hair and the other on his ass.

Sin continues his assault. Then Torrid drops to her knees, pulling down Sin's pants. She marvels at his erection, running her hands along it's length, gently playing with his balls.

She moves down to kiss his cock, starting at the base, then moving up and down the length of his shaft. When she finally takes him in her mouth, he has both hands wrapped in her hair.

She blows him with great vigor. He is ready to come.

SIN

No... No... Not yet.

With a squeal, Torrid finds herself pulled to her feet. Sin kisses her deeply again. They break, and Sin turns her back towards him, then grabbing a shoulder with each hand, strips what remains of her clothing straight down to her ankles. Torrid screams in passion.

Sin turns her around again, so that Torrid has her back to the wall. He drops to his knees. Torrid swings her leg over his head so that he can reach her pussy. Sin reaches between her legs, grabbing her ass and pulling her pussy to his face.

He eats her mercilessly. As Torrid continues to shout, she bends her knees, forcing her pussy even closer.

She comes explosively. 

CUT TO:

EXT. HARDON CRUISER

INT. HARDON BILLIARD ROOM

Penis cautiously peaks his head into the room, weapon drawn. It's a complete wreck, with rock posters, a couple of ratty couches, pizza boxes and assorted dirty clothes strewn about. In the middle of the room is a pool table.

A big chested Hardon CO-ED is playing pool by herself. She is wearing a tight crop top, very short cut off hot pants and spiked heels. While her hair is not as greasy as her male companions, it is overly teased.

The game requires her to bend over a lot. Penis watches her until she spots him.

CO-ED

I haven't seen you before.

PENIS

Uh... I'm new here. I'm looking for a friend of mine.

(approaching slowly)

Maybe you've seen him, he's wearing an outfit like mine.

CO-ED

Oh no, I've never seen anybody like you before. What great hair.

PENIS

Do you like it?

CO-ED
(running her fingers through his hair)

Yeah, it's really sexy. How do you do it?

PENIS

Well, nothing special. I just wash and comb it.

CO-ED

Wow, like, you wash it?

PENIS

Every day. Sometimes I even use a conditioner.

CO-ED

Wow. That's so kinky.

PENIS

So I've been told. So do you know where my friend might be?

CO-ED

Wouldn't you rather make a new friend?

She backs him up against the pool table, rubbing her chest against his.

PENIS

M... Maybe later...

The Co-ed continues to feel down his body to his crotch.

CO-ED

You're really hung, too. Hardon men are buff, but it's only their muscles that are big- if you know what I mean.

PENIS

That's really a shame, but... I... really...

She drops to her knees and deftly opens his pants.

CO-ED

Let me give you a real Hardon hello.

She begins to lick him. Penis sighs.

PENIS

Well... Oh God... We are suppose to explore other cultures.

She begins to blow him in earnest. As it gets more intense, Penis starts to put his hands in her hair, then thinks better of it.

He pulls her up to sit on the pool table, and moves his hands under her top.

PENIS

Let me give you a Voyeur hello.

They kiss while he fondles her breasts. She pulls her top off, allowing him to suck her huge tits. She is fascinated with his hair. She keeps grabbing at his top until he finally takes his shirt off. Wrapping both legs around his waist, she begins to lick his chest, rubbing her still dressed pussy over his cock.

Penis pushes her onto her back on the pool table, unzipping her hot pants, and working his fingers into her pussy. As she rubs her tits, he works off her pants, leaving for the moment her g-string. He finger fucks her hard and fast.

Kicking off what remains of his clothes, he begins to fuck her as she sits on the edge of the table. Holding onto his arms, the Co-ed leans back, her breasts bouncing with each thrust.

She swings her legs over his head, drops her feet to the ground, and lets Penis fuck her from behind. She screams for Penis to fuck her harder and harder.

Finally, she is flat on her back on the table. Penis slides up her body, licking her vigorously. In particular, he licks all around her tits, after which he moves over her and tit fucks her. As he pumps harder and harder, the Co-ed squeezes her tits around his cock, coming when he shoots all over her chest and face.

He collapses beside her, one arm still wrapped around her waist. She idly plays with the cum on her chest.

PENIS

So, about this friend of mine...

The Co-ed stares at him blankly.

CUT TO:

INT. HARDON KITCHEN

Painway and Toofucked make their way carefully through the room, alert for any frat boys. The kitchen is a wreck as well; lots of dirty dishes in the sink and on a long table. There are pots whose contents have overflowed and hardened. Toofucked is checking his 'tricorder'.

TOOFUCKED

This area is clear.

PAINWAY

I'm not surprised. No one could eat here.

TOOFUCKED
(scanning one of the pots)

I estimate that these substances are approximately...

PAINWAY

Who cares? Where is Commander Chokeonthis?

TOOFUCKED

Unknown. Molesta has jammed long range sensors.

PAINWAY

It's amazing that a race that could master interstellar travel still can't brew beer.

TOOFUCKED

The Hardons are aggressive and cunning, but they lack... maturity. The process of combining a precise balance of hops, yeast and barely with water takes many months.

PAINWAY

So if it takes any longer than opening a bottle, they can't handle it.

TOOFUCKED

Precisely.

PAINWAY

What puzzles me is how Molesta wheedled her way in with this bunch of stoneheads.

TOOFUCKED

From my observations of their behavior, the Hardon males are intimidated by dominant females.

PAINWAY

No kidding? It's a good thing I came prepared.

TOOFUCKED

Captain?

Painway slowly strips out of her uniform, revealing her dominatrix outfit on underneath. Toofucked is mesmorized. The final touch is the pair of long gloves she puts on.

PAINWAY

It's not often that I get to wear this in the line of duty.

TOOFUCKED

I hadn't noticed how well constructed Voyeur uniforms were, Captain.

PAINWAY

Excuse me?

TOOFUCKED

I was unaware of how stacked the Captain is.

PAINWAY

Toofucked.

TOOFUCKED

I might also add that the Captain's got back.

He starts towards her. Placing a hand on his chest, Painway keeps him at arm's length.

PAINWAY

I thought Vulgarians only had sex once every seven years.

TOOFUCKED

That is a myth, perpetuated to avoid commitment. However, I must point out, that it has been over three years since my last sexual encounter, and Mister Johnson wants to come out to play.

PAINWAY

Mr. Toofucked, you know the regulations about fraternization between officers...

Toofucked whips out his really huge dick.

PAINWAY

Great googly moogly.

She takes a step forward, letting her hand slide down to his dick. She grasps it firmly and begins to jack him off.

PAINWAY

Of course, there is the morale of my Security Officer to consider.

TOOFUCKED

It has been low lately.

PAINWAY

Lieutenant, take off that uniform.

TOOFUCKED

Yes, Captain.

As he undresses, Painway looks about for some space, finally choosing the kitchen table. She sweeps off the top, scattering the pots and pans. Taking a towel, she gives the surface a cursory wipe down. Then she throws the towel away. Toofucked walks up to Painway, who is perched on the edge of the table. She admires his body, running her hands across his chest.

PAINWAY

Get to it, Mister.

TOOFUCKED

At once, Captain.

He kneads her breasts under her brassiere. For a while all they do is touch each other. Wrapping her legs around him, Painway pulls Toofucked closer, allowing her to jack him off. Toofucked slips off her brassiere, massaging her nipples between his fingers. Painway starts sucking Toofucked's chest. She spins off the table, dropping to her knees and taking his enormous cock into her mouth.

She sucks him long and hard. Then she gets a really evil look on her face. She stands in front of him.

PAINWAY

Turn around, Lieutenant.

TOOFUCKED

Yes, Captain.

Once he has turned around, Painway slides down his back, kissing it as she goes. She grabs his tight ass with both hands and kisses it roughly and repeatedly.

Painway stands, wrapping one hand around his chest and the other around his cock. She dry fucks him from behind, pounding her pussy into his ass, rubbing her tits into his back. She moans louder and louder. Toofucked starts breathing real hard.

TOOFUCKED

Captain. If I may...

PAINWAY

Yes, Lieutenant?

Toofucked turns to face her. He stares intently into her eyes. She smiles back. Toofucked grabs her roughly and almost throws her onto the table. Painway squeals. He unsnaps her panties and throws them aside. He climbs onto the table with her and moves in. Painway holds up her hand.

PAINWAY

Wait for it Lieutenant.

She plays with herself for a moment. She convulses once, twice. Then she stares straight at him.

PAINWAY

Now, Lieutenant.

Toofucked inches his way into her. Painway screams in pleasure. It takes a while. For a moment he stands still, buried deep inside her. Then he begins to move with slow, powerful strokes. Gradually they begin to build in intensity, until Toofucked is fucking her for all he's worth. Painway is shouting uncontrollably.

Then she tries to stop him.

PAINWAY

Wait... Wait...

Reluctantly, Toofucked pulls out of her. She moans. With some effort, she rolls onto her knees. She wiggles her bottom at Toofucked seductively. Taking the hint, he enters her in one swift stroke. She lets out a tremendous noise. He is soon back to his old pace. Painway urges him on.

PAINWAY

Faster! Harder! Harder!

Toofucked does his best to comply.

PAINWAY

Now! My ass! Fuck my ass!

Toofucked inches his way into her ass. Painway can't stop moaning. Toofucked begins to fuck her in earnest.

PAINWAY

Harder! Harder, Lieutenant!

As Painway urges him on, Toofucked fucks the shit out of her. She comes loud and long. Letting loose three years of tension, Toofucked pulls out and shoots his wad all over her ass.

Painway collapses on the table. Toofucked staggers. Both try and get their breath back.

PAINWAY

Suddenly, I feel a lot more focused. I have an idea.

(beat)

Where the hell's my com link?

CUT TO:

INT. ENGINEERING

Torrid is naked and riding Sin on the floor for all she's worth.

PAINWAY (VO)

Painway to Torrid.

Torrid screams in frustration, trying to work a last few thrusts out of the Ensign.

PAINWAY (VO)

Painway to Torrid.

TORRID

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Torrid panics. She and Sin stop and start to scramble about for parts of their uniforms. Somehow, Torrid finds her com link.

TORRID

Yes, Captain.

PAINWAY (VO)

I'm instituting Plan B. Beam up Mr. Penis and send down "The Package".

TORRID

Yes, Captain.

(beat)

 Shit! Sin, we have to get dressed!

SIN

There's no time! The Captain's waiting.

Torrid clutches her clothes and moves over to the control console. Sin puts a big box marked "Plan B" and "For Emergency Use Only" onto the transporter pad. She activates the system and the box is beamed down. 

INT. HARDON KITCHEN

Both now dressed, Painway still in her dominatrix outfit, look down on the unseen box.

TOOFUCKED

Captain, are you sure this is such a good idea?

PAINWAY

Trust me. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

CUT TO:

INT. ENGINEERING

Torrid activates the unit again, and Penis is teleported on board, also clutching his clothes. He is startled.

PENIS

And I thought that the party was downstairs.

He drops his uniform. Torrid takes a hard look at his dick and licks her lips.

TORRID

Yum.

PENIS

Mind if I play through?

SIN

What do we need him for?

Torrid kisses Sin on the cheek.

TORRID

Don't worry, boys. Once my engine starts running it'll take more than one man to wear me out.

Torrid drops her uniform back to the floor. She puts one arm around Sin, who kisses her neck. Penis places his hands on her breasts and kisses her deeply. Their hands are everywhere.

CUT TO:

EXT. HARDON CRUISER

INT. MOLESTA'S QUARTERS

Much neater than the normal Hardon room. In the center of the room is a padded table, to which Chokeonthis is strapped down. Chad and Molesta are nearby. Chokeonthis is just regaining consciousness.

CHAD

Who's the big shot now, huh? Not so tough without your ship and your chick Captain to back you up, huh?
 

MOLESTA

Chad?

CHAD

 You humans are pretty puny close up, man. I could beat you easy.

MOLESTA

Chad!

CHAD

What?

MOLESTA

I think you better get down to the weight room. Somebody's been using your dumbbells.

CHAD

Fuck, man! I hate it when that happens.

He storms out.

MOLESTA

Poor Chad; tall, dark, dumb as a rock.

CHOKEONTHIS

Just your type.

MOLESTA
He'll do. I figure that between your beer, their brawn and my brains, I could take over this quadrant.

CHOKEONTHIS

You'll get nothing out of me, Molesta.

MOLESTA
(leans in close)

Oh yes I will.

(beat)

Not that I expect you to talk. Captain Painway will give me anything to get you back. Not that she's getting you back.

She begins to touch him. Chokeonthis flinches.

CHOKEONTHIS

You aren't getting that from me either.

MOLESTA

Aren't I?

She pulls out a small device.

MOLESTA

This is my neural activator. By placing it at the back of your neck and pushing this button, a small neural pulse will travel through your epidermis and muscle tissues to the nerves of your spine...

CHOKEONTHIS (VO)

Why the hell is she telling me all this?

MOLESTA

...giving you an involuntary hard on for as long as I want.

Molesta places the device near Chokeonthis' head. She kisses his neck and grabs his crotch.

MOLESTA

Let's just warm it up.

She pulls off her pants, climbs onto the table and straddles him, settling in comfortably over his crotch. Producing a pair of scissors, she begins cutting him out of uniform.

CHOKEONTHIS

You crazy bitch!

MOLESTA

No, no, no dear. Ssshh. Just leave this all to me, okay, sweetie?

She pulls his shirt away and runs her hands over his chest. She leans down to kiss him, but he turns his head away. She begins to rub her pussy over his crotch.

MOLESTA

Ohh, it's definitely starting to work. Can't you feel it dear? Oh, it's been to long... You know you've missed me... Don't fight it... We were so good...

Chokeonthis it trying to fight it, but he moans involuntarily. She turns around, positioning herself over his chest. She bends over and starts to cut off his pants.

MOLESTA

Let's see how we're doing, shall we?

CHOKEONTHIS

Bitch!

Chokeonthis has a fine erection. She runs her hands over it, marveling at its size and feel. She strokes it a few times, then begins to suck him.
When she is satisfied, Molesta turns back, and slowly lowers herself onto his cock. She moans loudly.

MOLESTA

Oh God, it's been a long time...

She starts to fuck him. After a while, she pulls off her top, revealing full breasts barely contained by a bra. She starts to fuck him harder.

MOLESTA

Let go... Fuck me hard...

As she rides him, she rubs her hands over her tits. She removes her bra, and feels her nipples. She starts moaning louder.

She comes loudly. But she's not done yet. Chokeonthis is trying his hardest to resist, but he's almost ready to come. She climbs off the table and devours his cock. She sucks hard, sliding her hand up and down his shaft.

MOLESTA

Come for me baby, Come for me baby...

Chokeonthis moans, shooting cum all over her face. The spray makes her come again. She milks him for every drop. She catches her breath, then starts to lick him clean.

MOLESTA

That's my baby.

She kisses his cock, then rests her head on his abdomen.

Painway and Toofucked burst into the room. Painway stops short, stunned at what she sees. Molesta and Chokeonthis are equally surprised at Painway's outfit. Both seem to have something strapped to their backs.

Molesta grabs her clothes and steps back.

MOLESTA

Biff! Reggie!

Two huge Hardons appear from the opposite doorway. They are heavily armed. Painway pulls a small gun from behind her back. It's no match for the Hardon weapons. Molesta laughs.

MOLESTA

Destroy them.

Toofucked produces two mugs. She points the gun at the mugs and pulls the trigger. It is a beer nozzle. She fills both glasses and holds them out to the guards.

PAINWAY

The first one's on me, boys.

BIFF

Kegger!

REGGIE

Cool!

They rush over, drop their weapons and begin drinking heavily. Toofucked refills their glasses as soon as they're empty.

BIFF & REGGIE

Toga! Toga!

PAINWAY

We have distributed pitchers of beer throughout the ship. By now your entire crew is blitzed.

(beat)

There is no one left to help you.

MOLESTA

I'm impressed. I always thought you too stuck up for such a bold plan.

(staring at her outfit)

But I see I was wrong about a good many things.

Obligatory porn music starts. Molesta drops her clothes and walks seductively up to Painway.

MOLESTA

We could make quite a team. Your ship, my men. Your body, my body... his body...

Painway smirks at Molesta, then coldcocks her. Music abruptly stops. Molesta drops to the floor unconscious.

PAINWAY

In your dreams.

(to Toofucked)

Untie him.

Toofucked complies.

CHOKEONTHIS

You gave them beer technology?! What about your precious regulations?

PAINWAY

I gave them beer, not technology.

CHOKEONTHIS

What if they back engineering brewing?

Chokeonthis begins pulling his clothes on.

PAINWAY

They couldn't engineer their way back to a bathroom. Maybe you'd rather just keep fucking your girlfriend.

CHOKEONTHIS

I didn't have a choice.

PAINWAY

That's what they all say.

TOOFUCKED

Captain, perhaps this is not the place to discuss this.

PAINWAY

You're right. Let's blow this popstand.

CUT TO:

EXT. VOYEUR

INT. ENGINEERING

Torrid is sucking off Penis while Sin is fucking her from behind.

Painway stalks in, still wearing the outfit. She is frustrated and still horny.

PAINWAY

Attention!

They all snap out of it. They look suitably embarrassed. They struggle to attention.

SIN

Ca-Captain!

TORRID

It's my fault, Captain. It's just been so long...

PAINWAY

I will have discipline on this ship.

They all stand at strict attention. Painway looks them over.

PAINWAY

You are a disgrace to my command.

(beat)

This is no way to conduct an orgy!

SIN

Captain?

PAINWAY

You. Down here.

She unsnaps her panties. Sin drops to his knees in front of her. She grabs him by the hair and pulls him to her pussy.

PAINWAY

Get to work.

SIN

Yes, Captain.

Tentatively, he begins. He's good. As Painway starts to warm up, she turns her attention to the other two. Torrid and Penis look at each other nervously.

PAINWAY

Well? What are you waiting for. Lieutenant, flat on your back. Mr. Penis, eat her.

TORRID & PENIS

Yes, Captain.

Slowly, Torrid lies on the floor, and Penis gets to work. At first she is too nervous to enjoy herself. Then Penis looks up and kisses her on each thigh. He looks her straight in the eye, and reassured, resumes his labors. Torrid begins to moan.

PAINWAY

That's better.

For a while, Painway watches the two of them on the floor. As their passion becomes more heated, Painway slowly backs off of Sin, and sinks to her knees. She gently kisses him on the forehead, then fully on the mouth. When they break, she exposes one nipple. Sin sucks on it slowly. Painway then offers him the other. Her hands work their way down to his cock, which she strokes gently. 

Torrid comes loudly. Painway stands.

PAINWAY

Now, let's try this again.

Taking Sin by the hand, she leads him and Penis over to Torrid. They kneel by her head. Shifting onto her knees, Torrid begins sucking each of their dicks, one after the other. Painway wraps herself around Penis and kisses him passionately.

She pulls back, standing over Torrid. Penis and Sin each take a nipple into their mouths. Torrid continues blowing both of them, stroking whatever dick is not in her mouth.

Painway kneels down to join Torrid at her work. The two trade off on cocks, kissing each other occasionally.

After one particularly long kiss, Painway sinks lower, tasting Torrid's breasts. She lavishes a lot of attention on them, before starting her way south.

When she reaches Torrid's pussy, she latches on and doesn't let go. Torrid begins having trouble staying focused on her blowjobs. Painway arches her back, and wriggles her ass.

PAINWAY

Lieutenant!

Penis moves around to mount her from behind. He fucks her hard, allowing Torrid to concentrate on Sin.

This time it is Painway's turn to come. She pulls out of Penis, and moves over to Torrid's side. She kisses her again, then takes her over to Penis.

PAINWAY

Now fuck him.

Torrid mounts Penis with a moan. She starts to ride his cock.

PAINWAY

Mr. Sin. Take your position in the rear.

SIN

Yes, Ma'am!

Sin moves behind Torrid and pushes his cock up her ass. He begins to fuck her. Painway shouts encouragement.

PAINWAY

Fuck her! Fuck her harder!

Painway stands before Torrid, who begins to lick her pussy. Feeling her own tits, Painway keeps urging them on.

PAINWAY

Fuck her!

Painway notices that Sin and Penis are about to come. She gently nudges Torrid's shoulder. Torrid rolls over onto her back. Both Penis and Sin pull out, and stand over her tits, jacking off for all their worth.

PAINWAY

Now come.

Sin and Penis shoot all over Torrid, who is screaming at the top of her lungs. When she quiets down, Painway bends down and kisses her gently on the lips.

PAINWAY

Isn't that better?

She stands to leave. Just before she leaves the room, she turns.

PAINWAY

As you were.

Painway exits.

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. VOYEUR

PAINWAY (VO)

Captain's log. The Hardon have been defeated. In their drunken stupor their cruiser hit an asteroid and was completely disabled. Voyeur continues on its way home. But their is still the matter of my First Officer...

CUT TO:

INT. READY ROOM

Painway and Chokeonthis are sitting on the sofa.

PAINWAY

Considering our last mission, it seems I have to reconsider the rules against fraternization.

CHOKEONTHIS

It seems we have to reconsider a great many things.

PAINWAY

Chokeonthis, don't make this difficult for me.

CHOKEONTHIS

Captain... Katherine... I don't want to be a plaything. I've been there. I didn't enjoy it.

PAINWAY

You must know that I never thought of you as that.

CHOKEONTHIS

I'd like to think so, but how can I be sure?

She places her hand on his thigh.

PAINWAY

Chokeonthis, my dear, sweet Chokeonthis...

(beat)

I risked my ship for you. I gave those cretins beer. And I'd do it all again without a moment's hesitation.

(beat)

I couldn't bear to lose you...

They look at each other. Finally, they kiss. It is long and passionate. Then Chokeonthis kisses her face, her neck. Their hands begin exploring each other. Chokeonthis begins to kiss lower, removing her clothes as he goes. He takes his time. When he reaches her breasts, she holds him close, moaning loudly.

They stop long enough to remove each other's uniforms. It is a slow process, as they look for new places to touch and kiss.

Chokeonthis has Painway flat on her back on the sofa, licking her pussy. Painway comes almost immediately. When she gets her breath back, she pulls on him to move around so that she can reach his cock. She savors a moment just to hold it, stroking it lightly, before she begins to blow him.

When he can't stand it anymore, Chokeonthis turns about and begins to fuck her. He pounds her hard and fast. Painway begins screaming again. She rolls him over, sitting on top of him. As he grasps her breasts, she rides him with every ounce of her strength.

This orgasm is slow in building in both of them, and powerful when released. Her cries echo about the room. Exhausted, they collapse into each others arms.

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. VOYEUR

The ship cruises off into the distance.

PAINWAY (VO)

There is no telling when Voyeur will finally reach Earth, but Lord knows, it won't be dull anymore...

THE END

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