The Secret Logs of Mistress Janeway
by NovaD I
Ensign Harry Kim  

Captain's Personal Log:

I almost didn’t pack the leathers. I hadn’t even given them a thought until recently. This mission has lasted a year. For a long time, the day to day tensions of blending our crews and fighting the Kazon had kept me distracted from the loneliness and the longings. But lately Voyager had settled into a routine. It was an unusual one by Starfleet standards, but it was a routine nonetheless.

I may not have thought of them ever were it not for searching for some other item that now escapes me. They were in a cupboard above my closet in the case which I had made especially for them. Seeing my leathers brought fourth an almost painful longing for their warm supple feel against my naked skin. I longed to feel the singular rush of erotic power they gave me. I had a staff meeting scheduled for that morning, but I was not aware of the time. I began to pull the outfit out of the case and arrange it on the bed in ritual order as I had at home on Earth.

As always, I felt each piece as I laid it out. Real leather is extremely rare anymore, and this leather was incredibly soft. Touching it was a sensuous experience. There were many pieces: Thigh high boots that laced up the sides, thong style panties, a leather garter belt and silk stockings, a leather corset, a lace trimmed leather bra, long satin gloves, a silver chain choker and jewelry. Mark used to kid me that it took an hour to put on and a moment to remove. But the preparation was part of the pleasure. I would shed off one skin slowly and literally put on another.

I felt my hands sliding up my abdomen to my neckline. I kicked off my boots and slid the outer garment of my uniform off my body. The fine hairs on my skin tingled as I removed the undergarments. My nipples were almost painfully hard and I felt moist immediately. I let my hair down and felt it brush my shoulders. I always dressed in the same order.

The panty was first. I pulled it up over my hips until the thong was firmly in place in the crease of my ass and the fabric caressed my clit. The leathers were lined with a fine silken fabric so that my skin wouldn’t chafe. The panty felt different to me. I realized that I needed to remove the hair down there.

Next was the corset. It had delicate silver buckles along the seams on both sides, but it actually fastened at the back. It cinched me, lifting my breasts and containing my flesh.

The strapless bra was accented with narrow fine lace on the top and bottom, a touch of delicate femininity against the power of the leather. It further lifted my breasts, so that they looked full to overflowing. I slid on the stockings, then ran a hand along my legs enjoying the feel of the silk weave. Then I put on the boots. They had heels which I was unaccustomed to normally. I always had a heady feeling of height and power in them. The way I walked was different. My hips swayed with my movements as I crossed the room slowly pulling my gloves up above my elbows. I put on the choker and the other silver chain jewelry.

I sauntered over to the full length mirror. The Captain was no longer in those quarters. Mistress Janeway had returned. She looked hungry. I was about to retrieve the Equipment from the bottom of the case, when Mr. Kim called. Captain Janeway answered and was very apologetic about being late for their meeting. But the Mistress had a twinkle in her eyes as she listened to the young man’s sweet, tentative voice. The Captain assured him that she would be in attendance shortly. Mistress Janeway got wetter with every mention of his name. I reached to the back of the Outfit and pulled the snaps that sent most of it down to my feet. I couldn’t bear to part with all of it. I removed only enough to get in my uniform.

The staff meeting was routine. Most of the time, I kept my eyes on the appropriate crewman that was speaking, but I kept drifting back to Mr. Kim. The idea was insane, I told myself. He was so innocent and sincere. The Captain had real fears that he would be celibate the entire journey. But that was it, wasn’t it? Mistress Janeway would be acting on his best interest. It would be unnatural for a healthy, young man to live without any physical affection. It would be good for him emotionally and physically. And he was a delight, after all. Such fine lips. He probably enjoyed long, slow kisses. He had nice hands. Strong hands. The Captain had noticed the sleek lines of his body so fresh from the rigors of Starfleet training. That meant a lot of stamina.

But how to win him? How to overcome all those stalwart values that made him so precious and not have him eaten away with guilt and anguish? It would have to be slow and subtle. If Mr. Kim had any attraction for Mistress Janeway, and few men didn’t, he would come to her. The Captain reminded Mistress Janeway sternly to pay attention to the meeting. Final comments and marching orders were expected of them. Mistress Janeway reluctantly agreed.

I thought I would have to wait for my first opportunity to approach Mr. Kim, but I was presented with it at the end of the meeting. I was reading over the reports left with me as my staff filed out. Then I noticed Mr. Kim remained nervously shuffling his things waiting for my attention. I glanced up and he asked for permission to speak to me for a moment. I always adored that in him, I realized. He was already fairly well trained. Perhaps the whip wouldn’t be necessary on him.

Mr. Kim asked me about some problems he had had in our last hostile encounter. Had he performed well or was he straining under the pressure? I assured him that he was doing extremely well and that every one of the bridge crew had moments of uncertainty. I stood up and went to him leaning on the table next to his chair. I placed one hand over his fidgeting ones to still them. They were trembling slightly. I knew I had chosen wisely for my First One. Mr. Kim needed more support than he had from his fellow crewmen. It was important for a man to have support from someone that he was intimate with. He needed my strength.

I put a hand on his shoulder and told him to look in my eyes. I told him he had my confidence. I told him to trust in himself and in me. My gaze softened and warmed. He thanked me, but his eyes had fallen into my stare just long enough for him to look slightly uncertain. I stood up to gather my things allowing the moment to pass.

Being on duty was exhilarating. I was so aware of the varieties of maleness around me. I thought about who would be next, if I chose more than one, and how to win them. Chakotay was a dormant volcano. Even the Mistress was doubtful about taming him. Having him, perhaps, but taming him was unlikely. Mr. Paris would probably die under the lash before he was remotely obedient enough for the Mistress. They were only passing thoughts. At that moment, all I could handle was persuading the Ensign to surrender his body and soul to me.

Mr. Kim was at his post running simulations for Torres. I was looking at long range scans of systems we would likely cross, but my mental concentration was aimed at him. The Mistress had discovered that women have an innate telepathic power to attract the ones they desire. It is that little mental pull that makes the man meet the woman’s glance the first time. I was concentrating on him.

I could hear the small noises that his console made just above me. He was working hard as he always did, but I could feel his eyes on me from time to time. I smiled to myself and returned my focus to the Captain for the moment.

The rest of that first day was close to my normal routine. The remnants of the Outfit reminded me of my campaign with every move I made. Fortunately for my cause, the crew was accustomed to my working closely beside them. I spent over an hour that day alongside Mr. Kim reviewing the simulations and concurring with his results. I concentrated on him. I watched his hands as they moved deftly over the console and wondered how they would feel on my bare skin. I watched his lips as he spoke and wondered what his mouth would taste like.

He was not unaffected by my subtle scrutiny. He became as uncertain in his delivery of this report as he was the first time he gave one to me. I bolstered him effortlessly with genuine praise of his creativity and his results. He continued without further duress; however, I noticed that he had leaned closer to me and smelled my hair. I felt triumphant. Mr. Kim apparently knew I was a woman. And I was a woman that he responded to favorably. As I finished my watch, I noticed that he was inviting Mr. Paris to dine. I was tempted to laugh. He would probably reveal his observations of the day, and Paris would think he had lost his mind. That would make the next days quite a challenge indeed.

I spent a restless night in half waking dreams of riding Mr. Kim’s bucking pelvis as he lay tied spread eagle to my bed. I awoke wet and frustrated and angry. He would pay for disturbing my rest. I sought relief in the Equipment. I had exquisitely life-like dildos in my collection that worked like pistons and had different settings. I picked a big one and watched myself lick it thoroughly. Perfect replication. It even tasted real. I sucked it for a while.

I missed sucking the real thing. I loved the way they would lengthen and harden in increments under no more pressure that the smooth movements of my tongue. I enjoyed the power of bringing a man to the edge of sanity, then releasing him in a torrent in my mouth. I relished watching his complete surrender to me as I swallowed his release.

I turned the setting on high and slid it inside. While I regretted not having a man’s tongue jammed in my mouth or a man’s mouth sucking hard at my nipples at the same time, I let the device work me over until I reached a satisfactory orgasm. Oh, how that young man would pay for not being under me that night.

The next morning, I went to breakfast in the Mess. I wanted to see Mr. Kim in a more casual setting than the Bridge. He was there and alone. Much to my delight, he looked as though he had not slept. I asked if I could join him, and of course, he agreed. We talked for a while about Neelix’s creative renditions of bacon and eggs. Eventually, I commented on how fatigued he looked. He admitted to not sleeping very well the night before. I told him I had a remedy for insomnia in my quarters. He was hesitant. I insisted. Finally, he agreed to come by at 2100.

I spent an uneventful day on my watch then shared dinner with Chakotay discussing personnel matters. There was barely time to change when I reached my quarters. I chose my normal civilian attire. However, parts of the Outfit were in place. The corset, garter and stockings, without a bra or panties to keep me aware of myself.

Mr. Kim was prompt. The tea was just steeping when he rang. He was nervous as he walked in. I feared for my delicate vases as he stumbled about the room. I ordered him to sit in a chair across from me and poured his tea. It was real camomile. The replicator duplicated the taste, but not the trace elements that helped to relax. Neelix was trying to grow the plants from seeds in the tea.

Mr. Kim tasted the drink tentatively, then smiled. It wasn’t at all like the unpalatable drinks his mother and grandmother had foisted upon him. I watched him intently as he drank deeply from the cup. His shoulders relaxed. He was closed to being completely at ease.

Presumably on an impulse, I stood up and asked him if he trusted me holding out my hand. He said yes and took it. I told him that I had another remedy sure to make him sleep in my bedroom. He tried to resist, but I tugged him along and we went with my enthusiasm. There I pushed him on my chaise lounge then lowered the head until it was flat and rolled him on his stomach. Despite the order I gave the poor boy to relax, he nearly leapt from the chaise when I removed his boots. However, I had an arm leaning across his legs.

I ordered the computer to play some soft classical music and told Mr. Kim to concentrate on that. I began to massage his feet applying the ancient art of reflexology. In less than ten minutes, he was sighing. Soon after that he was moaning softly. I wasn’t even using the technique sexually. I kept it up until he was breathing deeply and regularly.

It was time to be bolder. I moved up and sat beside him and began to massage his neck and shoulders. He didn’t fight me. I worked his thick, solid muscles with all my strength until there was no tension. His eyes were closed. He was asleep. I covered him with a blanket, then prepared to go to bed as usual. The nightgown was a demur one. I let down my hair, turned off the light and went to bed.

The tea did its work. I slept soundly until Mr. Kim began to stir. He was looking for his boots. I called for soft lights and sat up knowing how I must look to him. He was mesmerized; he was agitated. The silence was driving him crazy. He apologized for falling asleep, for waking me, for anything he could think of. I listened, then informed him that the boots were probably under the bed. He quickly disappeared from view.

I crawled forward to peer over the foot of the bed. The next thing that happened wasn’t part of the campaign. That darling ensign stood up suddenly firmly connecting the top of his head with my forehead. I saw stars and felt my back hit the mattress. The effect lasted only a few seconds.

As I came to, I realized that I was in Mr. Kim’s arms. My head was resting against his chest. He was asking me if I needed the Doctor. I shook my head, but didn’t pull back. He gently smoothed back my hair to look at my forehead. He brushed his hand across it and said he couldn’t feel a bump. I told him that I had a hard head. He smiled. I sat up reluctantly, but Mr. Kim didn’t move away. I glanced up to find him staring at me with such intensity it nearly took my breath. I could almost feel heat radiating from his body through the thick uniform.

He said that we shouldn’t have been alone together like this. It was compromising. I felt a wicked smile cross my face. I asked him if he felt that his virtue was in danger. He slowly shook his head. I asked if he thought my virtue was in danger. He paused, then said that people would talk. The smile stayed. I couldn’t help it. I told him no one would dare razz me. It would be he that suffered.

Mr. Kim smiled finally and agreed. He moved away from me to put on his boots. I told him that there was a container of camomile tea and a holoprogram of the massage on my table for him to take. He smiled at me and thanked me. I thanked him for the supreme compliment and bid him good night.

It could have begun then, but he wasn’t ready to surrender and I wouldn’t allow him to conquer. But something important had happened. A barrier had been breached. He wanted me. There would be another day.

I went back to my routine. My erotic focus was still aimed at dear Mr. Kim, but he got no more special attention. Mistress Janeway knew that once a man began to explore a forbidden liaison, he would want more. It took a few days, of him being rooted to his post with his eyes boring into the back of my neck, before he started approaching me for a wide range of creative reasons. I attended to him with my customary warmth, but I gave him no more.

I knew he was using the holoprogram. I suspected that he was drinking the tea. But I knew he was thinking of my presence, my touch when he did. I knew that he wanted it once more.

By the third day, I noticed he was looking uncertain and dissatisfied. At the end of the shift, he was imploring Paris to come to dinner with him. There would be no help there. That night, the preparations began. I played my favorite music while I slowly bathed in soft, aromatic waters. I smoothed fragrant lotion into my skin and scented my freshly washed hair. Then, I put on the Outfit and covered it with a soft diaphanous tunic. The bed was affixed with metal loops through which silken fabric that was very strong. I picked up a favorite novel and waited.

The bell rang at 2300. Immediately, I bid him to enter fearing he would lose his nerve. Mr. Kim walked in and stood in my parlor in true anguish. He wanted to confess something to me. He had thought things that were unseemly. He didn’t deserve my high opinion. I crossed the room to him and put a finger up to his lips. I made him sit and told him to listen to the music and remember that in these chambers he was safe.

For a time, I waited lighting candles throughout the rooms. He waited relieved to be with me once more.

"Mr. Kim," I said, "you need not confess to anything to me. I know your desires. I know the potential of your desires. In these rooms, nothing you reveal to me; nothing you share with me will cause you harm or loss of station."

He looked confused as I approached him. He stood and told me he didn’t understand. The time had come. I went to him coming close enough to touch his chest with mine, yet not touching. I reached out and caressed his hair. Heat returned to his eyes. He lowered his head and finally set his mouth against mine. It was so sweet. I pulled him closer and used my tongue to provoke him. Mr. Kim grew bolder taking me by the waist and crushing me against him exploring my mouth with his tongue. God, I felt him and he was very well equipped. I moaned in his mouth making him hold me closer.

I was losing myself in his kiss. It was too soon. He hadn’t been trained. I tore myself away from him. Poor Mr. Kim hung his head dreading what I may do to him. I took his hand and pulled him into the bedroom.

"Mr. Kim, please take off your clothes and lay down on my bed."

"Ma’am," he replied. He was afraid. He was excited.

"Not ma’am," I said. "I am Mistress Janeway here. I am going to train you in how to please me. In return, you will know infinite pleasure."

He hesitated.

"You want my touch," I said. My hand was on the collar of the tunic. One pull removed it revealing the Outfit to him. His eyes grew so big. "You want all I can give you."

He sank onto the mattress. "What about our loved ones?" He asked. He was so exquisitely torn. So sweet.

"Harry," I said, "I will keep you whole; train your sensual side; give you pleasure. I do not ask to share your intimacy. That part of you that was given to her I do not desire. You will not betray your love. I ask obedience until we return."

I kissed him again standing before him allowing his hands to touch the leather and bare skin. He moaned and began tugging at his uniform impatiently. It was a surrender born of anger and frustration and longing, but it was surrender. He lay before me beautifully formed and absolutely erect. I told him to raise his arms and he obeyed. I tied each wrist with the silken fabric. I tied each ankle. Mr. Kim was breathing deeply as he strained against the bonds. Then he looked at me with anticipation.

The gloves were wonderful. The fabric had sensors so that I felt every nuance of his skin. I touched him like a blind person gaining knowledge from contour. He writhed against my hand. He said please over and over. I asked him please, what? Please, Mistress Janeway. I lay across his chest and set my mouth against his and stroked the length of him. Mr. Kim came immediately and against his will.

I quieted him. "My dear Mr. Kim, I have been priming you for days. Such was expected."

I began again. This time I removed the bra and panty then straddled him and laid across his chest. He moaned out loud and arched his body to rub himself against my nipples. I gasped then attacked him with my hot hungry mouth.

It was time to show Mr. Kim the rewards of obedience. I began to lick his skin. With every moan and gasp I wrung from him I told him that his body was mine. I demanded that he agree in the proper manner.

"Yes, Mistress," he said. He strained against the silks. He wanted to get his hands on me. When I licked his balls and the hard length of him, he nearly shouted ‘Oh, God, yes Mistress!’ I almost laughed.

I had a fight with myself about sucking him. I really wanted to, but I was afraid he would come too fast. Instead, I straddled and mounted him in one movement. "Mr. Kim," I said in just above a whisper -- he felt so good -- "Don’t move." I arched my back and reached behind me to untie his legs. Then, I leaned forward and released his hands.

"Take me, Mr. Kim."

"Yes, Mistress!"

The Ensign inclined upward to suck my nipples. He held me by the hair and arched me backwards. I was moaning and melting and squirming. I tried to move against him, but he held me still. Suddenly, I was on my back with his mouth crushed on mine. He was ramming into me with all the vigor of one of my devices. It was ecstasy. I know I screamed into his kiss more than once. I was nearly unconscious when he spent into me.

My plan had been to instruct him on how to properly enter my chambers and conduct himself in my presence. We slept instead. It shouldn’t have happened, but I was exhausted and frankly surprised by Mr. Kim’s intensity. When he awoke, however, I was composed and dressed in the full Outfit. I waited for him to be fully awake.

"Mr. Kim," I said. "The proper position when not servicing the Mistress is on your knees, hands cross at the small of your back, eyes averted."

He was a little startled, but replied in the proper way. Without my telling him to, he assumed the position. He was already erect. I petted his head.

"You must return to your quarters. There is enough of the night for you to rest before watch. We will continue your instruction another time."

For two days, I watched him. The first day, he was tired, but looked satisfied. It was the kind of look Mr. Paris often had after a wild night. Mr. Paris noticed and seemed puzzled by it. I saw him corral Mr. Kim at the end of the day and drag him off. That concerned me for a number of reasons. I didn’t want Mr. Paris to know about the Mistress yet. And there was a fear that he would put a bad spin on things and turn Mr. Kim away. I was uncertain that he was in my complete control.

The next day, my fears were deepened. Mr. Kim was agitated and confused. He was unable to concentrate long on his work. I made an announcement that I needed to do some research in my Ready Room. He came in less than ten minutes after I sat down. Ma’am, he said. I asked him if he told Mr. Paris anything. He said no, but Tom knew something happened. He made it sound like I’d joined a cheater’s club.

I thought for a moment. I thought mainly that if I left Mr. Paris an inch of skin on his back, he would be lucky.

"Mr. Kim, it was never my intent to make you uncomfortable," I finally said. "Quite the contrary. But to enjoy, participation must be willing."

I told him he was released and to think no more about it. He sighed and looked relieved. I told him he could go. I was disappointed. I was certain that I had lost him.

The rest of that day was routine. The next morning there was a staff meeting. That was productive. We made some real progress with increasing the efficiency of our systems. I was very pleased with my department heads and with myself. Mr. Kim and I had normal encounters. I had turned off my focus on him, but otherwise our interactions were the same as always. The third and fourth day, I spent mostly in Engineering with Torres. I didn’t even see Mr. Kim.

The fourth night after our first session, I was curled on my sofa drinking camomile tea and reading when the bell rang. Upon my summons, Mr. Kim entered. He stepped inside, sank to his knees and put his hands behind his back averting his eyes. I asked what I could do for him. I didn’t move. He said I could forgive him. I agreed, but asked why I should.

He said that he realized he craved the attention of his Mistress. Mr. Paris was a fool. All the Mistress did was make him feel good. He wanted to continue to learn how to please me. He couldn’t stand not having the attention of the Mistress. I rose and went to him. I stroked his hair and touched his cheek. I told him I accepted his eloquent apology and that he could go.

Mr. Kim stood up looking stricken. "But, Mistress..."

I silenced him. I told him that instructions were at my discretion. I had not yet decided if he was worthy of continuing. His shoulders sagged as he turned to the door.

Before he reached it, I told him to stop. "Remove your clothes and assume the position."

After hastily compiling, I told him to brew me more tea. He did so and served it. I told him to massage my feet. God, his hands were powerful. I wanted him so badly, but tonight he would merely serve. He had to be punished, but I couldn’t lash him. He was not meant for that. The truly wicked part of the Mistress wanted to see how that lovely skin would look after a proper whipping, but it would damage him in other ways.

"I am so angry with you," I said. "In punishing you I deny myself. I probably will not sleep for frustration."

"Mistress, let me massage you so that you may sleep. I want to please you, Mistress."

He had almost made me come working my feet. I agreed. I shed my gown and lay on my stomach. His hands were strong and soothing. I was drifting off before long. I mumbled for him to put me to bed and return to his quarters. He lifted me into his arms and carried me to my bed. I vaguely felt him cover me. I’m almost sure that he kissed me.

No, I would deny him his rewards, but not for long.

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