The Secret Logs of Mistress Janeway
by NovaD XXIII
Trust  

Captain’s Personal Log:

Torres had said that Voyager needed the mineral. Vaak 4 was an ideal source. It was refined and ready for use. It was the only source for lightyears. I remembered all the discussions very dimly in recent days. I repeated those reports over and over in my head to remember the importance of the away mission and to hold onto my sanity.

It was a stroke of luck that I was not on the Bridge when the initial contact was made with the government on Vaak 4. I had been on duty for the previous 12 hours and was blissfully unaware of the communiqué until the senior staff meeting the next day. Chakotay had pleaded our case to the government leaders while I slept. Only during the initial briefing did I find out about the nature of the world we were negotiating with.

"Vaak 4 is a completely misogynistic culture," Tuvok said. "There is a hostility and even fear of females which is pervasive in this culture."

I had listened carefully as I looked at my First Officer. "Perhaps I should sit this one out," I said with a smile.

"Normally, I would concur, Captain," Chakotay replied. "But the Vaakans struck me as mercurial in their demands. I wouldn’t feel entirely comfortable making major decisions on the fly like that."

I had been unconcerned. "That’s why comlinks were invented, yes?"

"Ship to surface communication as well as transporter capabilities are unfeasible," Kim said. "Ion storms are frequent and intense. As it is we will have to transport by shuttlecraft."

"What do you suggest?" I asked. "That I go to be seen and not heard?"

"Well, heard in private counsel," Chakotay said. "I’ll need your counsel, Captain."

It was a simple entreaty which was also absolutely sincere. I had been moved by it.

"How safe are we here?"

"Vaak 4 has achieved interstellar travel within the past five years," Tuvok said. "Their weaponry cannot match Voyager’s. Long range scans report that they are the most advanced in the surrounding area."

It seemed reasonable enough. My First Officer seemed to think I was safe. That made me feel very secure in taking on the away mission. I found it intriguing to take in a subservient role for a little while. I had even fantasized about incorporating the experience into foreplay later.

The boys equipped the shuttlecraft with transporter enhancers and extra medical gear. Then, reluctantly, I was cleared by my Circle to go. At the time, it had been amusing. Recently I decided that they were all clairvoyant.

The shuttle went down very hard. I wondered as Chakotay and I were being tossed about the ship, whether we were doomed for a bruising every time we strapped into one of those damned things. I awoke first. Chakotay was unconscious and bleeding from a small gash on his forehead when I dragged him out of the fumes spewing from the panels.

I had just retrieved the medical supplies from the shuttle when the reps from the Vaak 4 government arrived. Without thinking I approached them to tell them that Chakotay needed help. The words never got past my lips. They became enraged when my eyes met theirs. I was struck immediately and several times for the transgression. My left cheek was on fire and I felt blood in my mouth as I hit the ground next to Chakotay.

One of the officials was about to grab me again when Chakotay came to.

"Kathryn?" He said quietly while squinting his eyes.

I moved to his side out of reach of the Vaakans.

"I’m here," I replied.

Thankfully, he sat up. His eyes alighted on the Vaakans first. "I am Commander Chakotay of the Federation starship Voyager."

The guards stopped. "Greetings Commander. You are awaited with anticipation."

"Thank you," he said. Then he looked at me. His countenance darkened despite the caution in my eyes. "Kathryn, you’re hurt."

I was going to lie to him, but the Vaakans spoke first.

"She dared to look us in the eyes," the first guard said. "She offended us and had to be corrected."

He stroked my bruised cheek. "I am certain that Kathryn was trying to tell you of my injuries and you hit her?"

They were unmoved. "Your Kathryn wears no collar. We naturally assumed that she was attempting a ruse to escape from you. She may have injured you."

"Kathryn would never willingly leave me," Chakotay said with controlled fury. He pulled me close to rest my uninjured cheek against his left shoulder. It was clear to those cretins by his body language how important I was to him. "Nor could she hurt me."

"We did not know. She wears no collar."

"The mistake was mine," Chakotay said evenly. "I should have inquired of the customs."

"She will have to wear one before entering the city. Otherwise, she would be attacked as a rebel," the guard said. "I have one."

Great, I thought, they carry spares. My body stiffened. This was not anticipated and my mind was rebelling violently.

Chakotay stroked my face. "Easy Kathryn," he whispered. "We have to stall until I can get you out of here."

"My Vow," I replied very quietly but urgently. "What about Barrows?"

The collar was in Chakotay’s hand. Tears sprang to my eyes at the thought of the hurt in Barrows’ face.

"She wouldn’t want you harmed," he whispered, pulling back from me. His eyes met mine. They were filled with concern. "Trust me, Kathryn. For your own sake."

The tears spilled down my cheeks, but I did not fight being collared. Chakotay wiped my tears away.

"Forgive me, Commander but her clothing is offensive and will not be tolerated either," the guard said. "She would be harmed further removing them forcibly."

"Do you have something suitable?" Chakotay asked.

"No. This was not a problem we anticipated," he replied.

"I will wait here until you return with something," Chakotay said.

"We cannot. The First Lord will not delay an audience with you to clothe a female," he said. "She will have to come now -- unclothed."

"She would be claimed by any Vaak male who came along," he replied. "And no doubt beaten and sold when they find she is not of this world."

Chakotay sighed. He held me close to him once more. This time, he stroked my hair.

"Kathryn, we have to do this. I will not leave you. I cannot have you harmed further," he whispered. "Just look at me, only look at me, Kathryn. Trust me. I will make it right -- even with Barrows."

I nodded very slightly. I felt the concern and sincerity in his voice. My eyes never left his as I stripped naked. I looked at Chakotay while he was put on a stretcher. They did allow me to carry the medical bags at the Commander’s insistence. I don’t remember anything about the capital city. My eyes were on Chakotay. I was amazed that no one took notice of me. They were curious about the man on the stretcher, but not the naked woman walking beside him. I was furious.

We were taken to a beautiful suite of rooms where Chakotay was put in bed. While the Vaak doctors attended to him, a female pressed a garment into my hand. Neither of us made eye contact. I couldn’t even tell what she looked like. I didn’t move to put on the garment until we were alone.

"Tuvok isn’t know for euphemisms," Chakotay said.

I put on the ‘dress’ which was a tunic of pale, soft, semi-sheer fabric held together with ties at the hips. Then I took out a tricorder to examine the Commander.

"Apparently the Vaakans are," I replied drily. "At least they aren’t witch doctors. You’ll be fine."

Chakotay sat up and took the instrument from me and examined my face. He looked angry, but said nothing. He healed the bruise on my cheek.

"Open your mouth, Kathryn," he said. I complied and he healed the cut on the wall of my mouth. "Remind me to split a few lips before we leave."

I took the tricorder from him. "I’m fine, Chakotay."

"For the moment, yes. I don’t know what they may require of us before we can get out of here," Chakotay said solemnly. "Many of the man are carrying whips."

My eyes widened.

"I’m going to send for the transporter enhancers ASAP," he said. "Meanwhile..."

"Meanwhile?"

He pulled me onto the bed and held me so that I could look into his eyes and was close enough that he could just lean forward and kiss me.

"While we are here, Kathryn, you are mine," he said in a husky, sensual tone. "Your body, your pleasure is mine. Remember how I can make you feel... remember how much you crave my touch... my mouth on your flesh. You want to give yourself to me."

He had learned well from me and likely from Barrows I thought.

"My vow to Mistress Barrows," I said in a whisper. "I have been hers for over a century."

"She would loathe the thought of these men abusing you more than my trespass," he said. "You know that. You are fighting me, Kathryn. You have always wanted to be my passion slave. You’ve always wanted to be naked and waiting for me, haven’t you?"

I didn’t reply. He ran a hand along my throat. "Deny it if you can, Kathryn. I’ve seen it in your eyes. I’ve felt the way you arch your body against mine when our mouths meet. You always want to be naked for me... open for my most intimate kiss... Let yourself go. Give your will to me..."

He slanted his mouth across mine and pushed his tongue inside. It was a hungry, voracious kiss. I whimpered against his mouth.

"Just listen to my voice, always look at me and trust me, Kathryn. Trust my feeling for you, my need for you... Trust me," he murmured before crushing his mouth against mine once. This time, we were lost in the kiss. His hands were in my hair. His tongue was urgent. My lower region was wet and on fire for him. We were completely unaware of our visitor.

"You are feeling better," a voice said from behind us.

I was startled by the booming male voice, but Chakotay calmly broke the kiss. He whispered for me to sit alongside him and keep my eyes down, but always on him. I complied.

"I am Jarel, First Lord of Vaak 4," he said.

"I am Chakotay, Commander on the Federation starship Voyager," he replied. "I apologize for making you come to me."

"Curiosity could not keep me away," he replied. "And this is the female I’ve heard so much about. She is lovely."

I felt his movement toward me.

Chakotay straightened. "First Lord, my Kathryn may not be touched by anyone but me."

"She is your intended, then -- the female that will bear your sons?" He asked.

"She is," he said with such seriousness and certainty that I was startled.

"Still, that policy is unwise, a female should know that discipline could come from any male," Jarel said. "Otherwise, they forget themselves."

"Any transgression is brought to my attention immediately. Kathryn is well aware of that," he said. "Besides, who better to punish her than someone who knows her body very well and knows exactly how to make the flesh respond."

Chakotay ran a hand down my spine. "I know every muscle well enough to give her intense pain or amazing pleasure.

I blushed involuntarily. Jarel chuckled.

"She is exquisite. Perhaps our negotiations could begin with her," he said.

"The negotiations will never involve her," Chakotay’s voice was calm, but I could feel the anger just beneath his soothing timbre.

"As you wish. We will begin our talks over the evening meal. An escort will be sent," he said. "Is there anything you require right now?"

"There is some equipment on the shuttle that I will need to contact my ship," Chakotay said. "It is very important."

"Then it will be retrieved immediately," he said. "Until later then, Commander."

"Thank you, First Lord," he replied.

I found I could breath again when that man left. Chakotay held me.

"Don’t let me go, Chakotay," I said. I had a fear that did not seem unreasonable to me that someone would take me from him.

"I won’t," he replied softly. I rested my head on his chest. His arms held me snugly. I dozed listening to his heart.

We slept more soundly than I expected to. When I awoke, I was aware that we weren’t alone. My stirring awoke the Commander. I didn’t move until he released me. I scooted back against the headboard.

"Have you come to take me to the First Lord?"

"No," the guard replied. "We have your equipment here and a servant will help you prepare for the meal."

"Prepare?"

"She has to bathe and dress you and your female," he replied.

I felt the smirk on Chakotay’s face. "Very well, but I thought I would leave Kathryn here to assemble the equipment. That is part of her duties."

"The First Lord wants her present as well," the guard replied.

My heart sank. I was hoping to beam out of there before I completely lost it in front of those apes. I really resented being constantly afraid. My temper could literally get me killed, yet I could barely keep it in check.

"Lead on then," Chakotay said.

We were taken to another chamber with a sunken tub filled with steamy water. Chakotay was bathed first. I finally got to see our attendant. She was a dark haired beautiful young thing with high perky breasts and a magnificent ass.

The girl was nervous at first, but Chakotay’s serenity calmed her down. Eventually, her hands stopped fluttering and she began to follow along the contours of the Commanders muscles. Like me, she seemed to appreciate the powers underneath that sleek coppery skin as she lathered it. He was content, but his eyes held mine. I saw the passion smoldering in them. Were we alone, I would be feeling his passion to be sure. The attendant dried him, then tried to lead him into the next room, but he declined.

"No. I want to watch you bathe my Kathryn," he said. "It gives me pleasure."

She was perplexed, but very obedient. I undressed and was led into the water. It was wonderfully hot and very fragrant. I relaxed under her touch. My heavy-lidded gaze locked onto Chakotay’s once more as the girl massaged my limbs then washed my hair. The Commander drank up this image. Finally, the fear slipped away for a little while.

We adjourned to the bed chamber. I dried my hair and dressed it very simply: I combed it back and used a strip of cloth as a headband. The attendant dressed Chakotay in opulent Vaakan wear, a long sleeved, calf length tunic with side vents, draw string pants and sandals, while I put on a different tunic in a finer and more sheer fabric than the first one.

The attendant handed Chakotay a fine chain that appeared to be part of my collar. He hooked the chain to it while kissing me briefly.

He sucked at my earlobe. "I wonder how accommodating she will be for us?"

I stifled a smile. He chuckled softly.

"I suppose we’re ready," he said to her.

The attendant nodded than led us to the door. Outside, two guards were waiting. We followed them to a large marble pillared chamber that had tall windows with a view of the sea. From what I could see with my eyes averted, the room was lovely. I wondered if I would be permitted to eat.

"Greetings, Commander Chakotay," Jarel said. "Sit at my table. The female is to sit behind you."

I took my place on a cushion behind the bench where the Commander sat. After the men began to eat, a small plate was shoved into my hands. I had to struggle not to shove the contents down my throat whole. Somehow, I ate, slowly taking small portions at a time and chewing them slowly.

The negotiations went very well. Despite Vaakan male arrogance, they were not interested in weapons technology. They were looking for water filtration to increase agriculture.

That Voyager could do easily. I was relieved. By the time the men were drinking a second glass of wine, the arrangements were being finalized.

Thank you, First Lord," Chakotay said. "Your cooperation is greatly appreciated."

"I must ask something else of you, Commander," Jarel said. "A grave matter has been brought to my attention."

"Oh?"

"I have been informed that you were sleeping with your female while she was unshackled," he said.

"Is that an infraction of Vaak law?"

"No, but it is not customary," he replied. "Unsecured females will escape."

"Kathryn will not leave me willingly," Chakotay said calmly.

"Why are you so sure of that?"

The Commander shrugged. "She has my protection. She has physical pleasure. Why would she leave?"

I felt eyes upon me. My plate was taken away. Fortunately, I was finished.

"Why is her pleasure relevant to you?" Jarel demanded. "Pleasure is not necessary for them to fulfill their duties."

"May I show you what I mean?" Chakotay said.

Jarel hesitated. "Proceed."

My leash was tugged. I moved to Chakotay’s side and knelt beside him. The table was moved so that Jarel was only a little more than three meters away.

Chakotay brushed an open palm across my breasts. My nipples hardened and I gasped then blushed.

"A female’s pleasure is a pleasure for the male as well." Chakotay murmured. "She is open for my kiss. Her body is moist and ready to receive me. Kathryn’s sounds make me more excited. Her wanting me makes me excited."

Jarel’s silence told me a lot about the mentality of Vaak males. Chakotay had made an error that I would surely pay for, but at least I now understand the Vaakan male fear. A female wanting them was not something they hadn’t considered before. But it was females not wanting them that they feared. Chakotay’s command over me and my apparent desire for him without use of force was a threat to their society.

"Your female is nonetheless offensive to us and she must be corrected for the good of the social order," Jarel said sternly.

I was not surprised. Chakotay sensed my sudden serenity with the situation. He took a slow, deep breath.

"I will do it. No one else may touch Kathryn," he replied quietly.

Jarel pointed to a pillar nearby. "You may use this post and my whip."

The Commander rose. I followed him then allowed him to shackle me.

"I am surprised, Commander. She does not protest or plead her innocence," Jarel said. "She does not struggle."

"Kathryn knows that I am her Master, don’t you?"

"Yes, Milord," I replied demurely.

He ripped my tunic from me. He stroked my cheek with the butt of the whip. His eyes held mine for a moment. I was touched by his warmth and concern. I tried to let him know that it was okay.

He walked behind me. I closed my eyes. The blows fell with a rhythm and intensity that I recognized. Gods, he knew me too well. I was being welted, brought to tears but it was not going to draw blood. The rest was up to me. I made a show of it fighting the moans then fighting the tears. When he stopped I dramatically collapsed against the pillar sobbing loudly.

"Now, if there is nothing else, I’d like to contact Voyager and get underway," the Commander said.

"You are angry."

"Perhaps at myself," Chakotay said.

"You are a strange male, Commander," Jarel said. "I like you much but your views are dangerous for me. It is best you go soon."

My wrists were released. I was tossed over Chakotay’s shoulder and passed out. When I awoke, I was face down on a mattress I could hear the hum of a skin regenerator. My back felt cool.

"Be still, Kathryn. I’m nearly finished," Chakotay said grimly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see our attendant watching us intently. My mind went back to the lashing, to Chakotay’s sensual words. His arousing touch. He turned me over. My palms slid up his chest. I surprised him with the heat of my open mouth against his neck.

"I’m so..."

I kissed Chakotay before he could finish. He pulled back. I knew he was surprised at when he saw in my eyes.

"Haven’t I earned it, milord?" I demanded.

Chakotay yanked me against him slanting his mouth across mine. One hand was in my hair the other was cupping my ass pressing me against his hardening penis. I wiggled free to attack his clothes. I deftly removed his pants then knelt before him -- he gasped when I took him in my mouth sucking like I never had before.

His knees buckled. Chakotay went down onto the floor back onto the carpet. I would not relent. He moaned with pleasure and volume. Finally, Chakotay took me by the shoulders and pulled me upward. I shimmied onto his cock. Chakotay pulled me back by the hair to suckle on my nipples. I nearly screamed. Chakotay snarled. We both collapsed.

"Where did that come from?" Chakotay gasped.

"I don’t know," I replied. "I needed it."

"Let’s assemble the enhancers and get back to our quarters," Chakotay said with a smile.

I smirked back. "Yes, milord."

The enhancers were assembled in short order and switched on. In all the activity we’d forgotten our attendant. I peeked outside to try to find her. She had my uniform and I wanted it back. At first I couldn’t see anything in the dimness until I spotted her in an alcove nearby. Our attendant was on her knees blowing the guard. Chakotay came up behind me. I motioned for him to be quiet. The girl was new at it, but she had enthusiasm which made up for the inexperience. The guard was in heaven.

After a while, she climbed then mounted him. It was fast, but explosive. The guard looked at her with wonder when it was over. He stroked her hair absently. The attendant whispered something in the guard’s ear which made him laugh. She quickly righted herself then him. In leaving, she ran into another guard. The man immediately pulled out his whip, but before he could strike her the lover stopped him. The other man was shocked. The girl implored him not to intervene. He made her go.

"You will not touch her ever!" the guard said. "No one will!"

He followed the direction the attendant took.

We backed into the chamber.

"And so it begins," I said.

"Revolution by blow job?" Chakotay said.

I raised a brow.

"Yeah, that will work," he said with a sigh. "Let’s get out of here."

My passion ebbed once we reached Voyager. The mission was a success and I wanted to continue what Chakotay and I began on the surface. But I had to tell Barrows what I allowed to happen.

When I reached the Holodeck, her program was already running. I found Chakotay there. Barrows was circling him.

"Mistress, forgive me," I said dropping to my knees then bending until my cheek rested on the cool floor.

"You have not transgressed, child. But this man and your crew has. First by putting you in that situation without being fully informed, then for grossly mishandling that leader," Barrows said. "That incompetence has cost us both personally."

"I know, Mistress."

"But I also know the nature of first contacts. There is nothing else these ninnies could have done," Barrows said. "That’s why I got out of Starfleet."

"Yes, Mistress."

"Commander, for my Dear One’s sake I will forgive this one transgression, but I caution you not to use it to bring her under your control," Barrows said.

"I like Kathryn the way she is: in control and full of surprises," he said. I could feel his eyes upon me.

"Get out the pair of you!" She snapped.
 
 

"I’m sorry, Kathryn," Chakotay said. He was holding me in my quarters. "What a mess I’ve made."

"Barrows will forgive us. She was furious -- not ambivalent," I said. "As long as the heat is there, she is my Mistress."

"And I am your slave," he murmured.

I moaned as he lowered me onto my back to kiss me.

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