The Secret Logs of Mistress Janeway
by NovaD LX
Full Circle: Trade Offs  

A Word From the Mistress: The next six logs will be my take on the end of Voyager's journey. In them, I hope that I can satisfy myself and the readers with a closure the finale somehow missed. For me this is bittersweet. I may do an occasional story with these and other Trek characters, but these six are the end of a fascinating and fun journey. Enjoy!

 

Captain's Personal Log:

She had said there could be trade offs. There could be a price to pay. It could be a heavy one if we were not well prepared. This should have concerned me in light of the surer path that lay ahead of Voyager. But I had been looking at my other self. I had seen the pain in her eyes from all that had been lost. In the end it was a selfish act, but I could not live in a universe that would make me have eyes like hers. I prayed I would not spend an eternity regretting it.

In a blink, we were through the transwarp corridor. In the next instant, before we could really register that the gambit had succeeded, we were being hailed. I had seen Admiral Paris many times on a viewscreen since Operation Watson. He was still a million kilometers away, further than one could walk in a lifetime, yet it was different. We all felt the immediacy.

Tom's reunion with his father touched me deeply. It was short but profound. I promised to explain everything to the Admiral when we got back. Starfleet had scrambled every ship in the sector to meet us, and we traveled at the center of a warm cocoon of friendship.

Tom left for Sickbay and Chakotay had us on course for Earth when a thought began tapping on the back of my brain. It rapped and drummed, impatient and unformed until Chakotay gave us an ETA to McKinley Station.

I bolted from my chair and ran for my Ready Room. Before either Chakotay or Tuvok had a chance to react, I'd grabbed the small box on my desk and sprinted back to the Bridge. I took a breath and regained my decorum.

"Mr. Kim, front and center."

Harry nervously moved from the Ops station to stand before me.

"Mr. Kim for bravery and resourcefulness over this voyage I am promoting you to lieutenant congratulations it has been a honor and a pleasure having you under my command."

I put the pip in place while he gaped at me. Then I saluted him.

"This is long overdue and I wish we had more time for ceremony, but we don't."

His mind finally caught up with the proceedings. He saluted me with a big grin. Then I hugged him. "It's been my pleasure as well," Chakotay said with a hearty handshake.

"Okay, now that that's over with; Lieutenant, I need to see you in my Ready Room."

Chakotay and Tuvok looked at each other as we left.

"Lieutenant, I have a very special mission for you." I turned and noticed Harry's erection under his pants. He stood most uncomfortably.

"It's not that kind of special mission, dear. You have to move Mistress Barrows to the Club's database and upload her replacement. Go to the Holodeck and I'll get Felix for you. He knows what has to be done. Barrows wanted to say goodbye to the crew, but it just isn't practical. I'm sure she'll find a way to keep in touch."

"Yes, ma'am," Kim said sounding suspiciously like Mr. Paris. "But, Captain. Barrows is in a lot of the crew's logs and your own as the EEH."

"That's why we have a substitute," I said. "It's all been worked out very carefully."

"Yes, Captain," Kim said. He stopped by the door. "Will I ever get to go to the Club?"

"Of course, but for now..."

"I know. Go, go, go."

I got a line as soon as Kim left and called the Club. The familiar colors and logo came up filling me with warmth. Then the operator appeared. He was in his twenties, I would say with tawny skin, pale blue eyes, dark curly hair and lips made for sin. His voice was deep and smooth.

"Welcome to the Club, a place of ultimate pleasure and absolute discretion. My name Tristan, how may I serve you?"

I don't have enough time, I kept telling myself as I tried to focus on the reason for my call. "Greetings Tristan. I need to speak to Felix right away."

"My apologies, Dear Lady. He is unavailable at this time."

"This is Kathryn Janeway," I said.

The boy lowered his eyes immediately. "My abject apologies. I should have recognized you."

"You have not offended, pet. I've had a haircut," I replied with a smile. His blush was exquisite. I reminded myself again that I had no time. "Connect me to Felix and inform your handler that I will see you when I return."

"Y-yes, Mistress. Thank you." He was gone in a blink. Now I was wet. It was going to be so good to get home.

Felix appeared and I immediately sent him to Mr. Kim. We had arrived at McKinley Station. I had to sprint to get to the transporter room in time to receive the Admiral.

Tom was waiting for me when I zipped into the Transporter Room. I had just regained my composure as the Admiral materialized. He was all smiles. Lt. Barclay was with him. He looked like he couldn't believe that we were real.

"Kathryn Janeway, you are amazing!" Admiral Paris said stepping off the pad. He held out his hand to shake but instead drew me into a firm embrace. "Thank you so much," he whispered.

"Thank you for all the help, sir," I said as he stepped away. He nodded at my words but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at Tom.

"Hello, Dad," Tom said. His eyes were shining and his voice was just above a whisper.

The Admiral enveloped him in a bear hug, which Tom returned. "I'm proud of you, Son."

"Wow," Tom chuckled. They parted smiling at each other. "Have to get lost more often."

"Tom," I said.

"Still my boy," Admiral Paris chuckled. "Let's go meet your wife and my grandchild. Kathryn, We'll meet in your Ready Room in an hour."

"Aye, sir. Mr. Barclay, let me take you to the Holodeck," I said.

"I c-can hardly b-believe I'm here," he said.

"I can't either, Lieutenant," I smiled. "Let me introduce you to my EEH. Then, why don't you take some time and look around."

"Thank you, Captain!"

Kim was waiting for us in the Holodeck. He managed to let me know that everything had been done according to my wishes. Barclay was very excited about meeting him. Seems he thought of my new lieutenant as a kindred spirit. Although the new Barrows looked identical to the original, her body language was quite different. She stood quite ridged at something like attention. The only sign that she was Felix's work was the upraised eyebrow she gave me while the others weren't looking.

I left them to their work. I had to prep for the first of the inevitable debriefings. I had filled out highly detailed reports on every decision I made in the Delta Quadrant from the most benign to the most controversial since we had opened communications with Starfleet. I had to respond to full fledged inquiries about my handling of the Relativity and the Equinox. Many matters had proposed resolutions upon our return. However, I knew I would have to talk about Admiral Janeway and what happened to open the portal. I was hoping that there wouldn't be too many briefings after that.

When my door chimed, I thought it was Admiral Paris. It was a little early, but B'Elanna was tired, so it wouldn't have been unexpected. However, it was Naomi Wildman and Seven. I was surprised.

"Hello, ladies," I said. "What can I do for you?"

Naomi stepped up to my desk. "I was thinking about Neelix when we got through to the Alpha Quadrant. Would he be happy? What would he do?"

I had been thinking about him as well. I wondered if there would be any way to keep contact with him now that we were home. "And what did you decide, Naomi?"

"He would be happy," she said decisively. "And he would have a party before everything changes."

That struck me. I hadn't thought of that. The reality of our sudden arrival had not occurred to me. In less than 48 hours, we would be separated forever as a crew. I looked up at Seven and realized that she had a bit of a hollowed eyed look as well.

"We should have a party," I said. "Our best ever."

"Yes," Naomi said. "Seven said she would help."

I smiled at Seven. "She's a wonderful cook and she throws a great party."

"Thank you, Captain," she said. "I believe I can have an acceptable buffet by 2000 hours. But it would require my absence from Astrometrics."

"Since we're in dock, that won't be a problem," I said. "I'll have some real champagne sent up. In fact, we should take crew orders and have some take out sent up as well. I know I could use anything from Sisko's. Do you need any help?"

"I shall enlist Icheb," she said. "He's been staring out the window in the Mess Hall since we arrived."

I chuckled. "That's understandable. I think that's what most of the crew is doing. Okay, Naomi, you and Seven get started. I'll make an announcement for rations and take out. Dismissed."

Naomi beamed at me. Seven even managed the smallest of smiles. I couldn't believe that I had forgotten to plan a proper party. What kind of hedonist was I? There was just so much to do and so little time. I was pulled from a mild panic by the arrival of Admiral Paris. He was still smiling. That was a good sign.

"My daughter-in-law is quite a spitfire," he said.

"She can be," I said. "They've been good for each other."

"I can see that," he said. "I must have you over to talk all about what hasn't made it into the official report."

Well, maybe some of what hadn't made it into the report. "I'd be delighted."

"Let's get down to it," he said. "The Admiralty and Starfleet Intelligence is primarily interested in the Borg technology that got you here and what happened to precipitate the event. They want you in less than an hour."

"I had anticipated that," I replied. "I've got a full report and all the documents and logs left by Admiral Janeway. Engineering is standing by to show how the devices were installed and how they operate."

"Excellent. This should be quick and painless then," Paris said.

"Will there be more debriefings?" I asked.

"You will have to meet with members of the Conference of Ship's Counselors about how best to help the crew re-adjust," he said. "But as far as I know, all the outstanding issues concerning the crew and its activities in the Delta Quadrant have been addressed."

I nodded greatly relieved. "Then, let's get this over with. By the way, is Domaine Chandon still in operation? It wasn't lost in the war, was it?"

"I don't think so."

"Excellent. Well, let's make those announcements."

Admiral Paris got the privilege of being the first to speak to my crew about the return home. He assured them that Starfleet wouldn't keep them tied up for too long and that their families were being contacted. I got on to express my profound gratitude for having faith in me then told them to put in their orders for the party. I had my priorities straight.

I was beamed directly into the conference room for the Admiralty. News was spreading that Voyager had returned but no one was prepared to properly put out the welcome wagon yet. Besides, I think the Admiralty and Starfleet wanted to find out what they were dealing with before the public accolades started.

There were six admirals and two agents of the Federation Department of Temporal Investigations and two more who had to be Starfleet Intelligence. There was also a clerk recording the proceedings. I was greeted warmly enough. One of the admirals was a Club member. He got a little flushed but didn't sputter when he said my name. After the expected congratulations and pleasantries, we got down to business. I gave them everything Admiral Janeway left behind then explained how the devices were installed and what we did to get away from the Borg. There was a lot of restrained excitement about the technology. All of the admirals wanted to go see them for themselves. Once the time cops were satisfied that I had no knowledge of Admiral Janeway's plan until she arrived, the meeting became a Q&A about our adventures and mis-adventures in the Delta Quadrant. I left them happy.

Chakotay was glad to see me back after a relatively short amount of time and with a real smile on my face.

"Where's Barclay?"

"He beamed down about an hour ago," he replied. "Zimmerman was anxious to meet the EEH."

I snorted at that. "I wish I could be there. Perhaps I can persuade Mr. Barclay to send me an account."

"The champagne and seafood is here," Chakotay said. "Along with food and drink from all over the Earth. Picard Vineyards sent a case of Cabernet."

"Oh?"

"Yes," Chakotay said. His gaze held mine. "Where is the esteemed Captain?

"No where near Earth," I said. "And I don't know when he'll get here."

That seemed to placate my possessive First Officer. "This is shaping up to be some party."

"I certainly hope so," I said. "Which reminds me."

"Attention, this is the Captain. I want this gathering to be a very special one. And I require everyone's presence in order for this to happen. Make sure all ship's functions are turned over to the docking station. Then put on your glad rags and dancing shoes. If you don't know what that means, look it up. And bring a big appetite. I don't want to see any uniforms or long faces. That's an order. Janeway out."

My eyes stung me quite suddenly then. Chakotay looked concerned. "What's wrong? I thought those were some of the best orders you've ever given."

I nodded at that. "And it was probably my last to this crew."

Chakotay patted my shoulder. "No long faces, today. Why don't you go get ready?"

He always was my best counsel on this ship. "You have the Bridge, Commander."

"Aye, Captain."

I met a lot of faces that mirrored mine as I returned to my cabin. There were smiles, but the eyes were a little sad and unsure. It was like a graduation, I suppose. We were happy that ordeal was over, sad about the ties that were about to be permanently altered and very unsure of how we would fare in an unfamiliar environment. I didn't know how to fix that for them, because I didn't know how to fix it for me.

My train of thought was thoroughly derailed when I entered my cabin and found Mr. Paris and Mr. Kim kneeling on my floor quite naked. I hadn't ordered out.

"Dear Ones? What is this?"

"We were told you were to prepare for the party," Kim said.

"We're here to help," Paris said. He looked up at me. "It may be the last time for a while."

My darling Chakotay. His thoughtfulness could still surprise me. I pulled back from the tears threatening again and smiled.

"Very well," I said. "Proceed."

They were on their feet in an instant. Paris began to remove my uniform. Mr. Kim headed for my coffee table where an ice bucket and glasses awaited.

"We took the liberty of getting you a couple bottles of the champagne," Kim said. "We had to be fast. Seven is a real dictator when it comes to party planning."

"You are very brave," I chuckled. "I wouldn't even try that."

They led me to the bathroom where a tub of fragrant suds awaited. Kim thoughtfully brought the ice bucket. They guided me into the water then Harry handed me my glass.

"We thought we would bathe you, then Tom could do your nails," Harry said.

The first sip of real champagne made me moan. The flavor exploded over my tongue. It was better than I remembered. I took a moment to breathe in the exquisite flavor as I looked at them.

"That's a fine plan for a little later," I said. "Right now, I want to see you two together. I haven't in anything other than a log in ages."

Tom was for that if the erection was any indication. Harry looked more than ready as well.

I sipped my drink. "Get what you need, Tom. You know where everything is."

I'd seldom had the boys perform for me in that way. It was a common practice at the Club to watch beautiful bodies in pleasure with each other. Perhaps it was my brush with young Tristan. I very much wanted to see him being thoroughly used. I would have to send for the account of his training. I loved watching men being taught how to properly give head. Men who considered themselves straight were especially interesting. If they were real subs, the surrender to the need to please was very moving on many levels. I wondered if Tristan had to go through the Master's gauntlet. I doubted it. He looked like the real thing -- a willing vessel for anyone who claimed him. I enjoyed the gauntlet as well when the sub was really a sub. So many men come to the club for work expecting to be exclusive playthings of some fantasy female. That's what paying customers get to enjoy. Being manhandled by a bigger man until their ass up in front on audience for a thorough fucking isn't what that sort has in mind. And they think Starfleet is exacting.

This sort of performance was more straightforward. Tom shackled Harry to the nearest table leg on his side. My very slutty First One was far from fighting against the sudden restraint. He moved his knee up exposing himself completely to Tom while offering his mouth up for a kiss. Tom chuckled but he lowered his head to comply with Harry's silent plea. I loved watching them kiss. They always abandoned themselves to each other in those moments. The kisses lasted for long moments until both men grew restless. Then Tom's hands and tongue were everywhere across Harry's flushed skin. He licked and sucked and nipped his way up and down that lovely, well-toned body. And Harry arched into every touch. His face was pure bliss. Soon, that was not enough.

"Please, Tom," Harry begged.

"Oh, yeah," Tome growled. He was quick and ruthless in prepping his lover. They were well practiced so it didn't take much time before they were ready.

Tom pushed inside of Harry in one movement then waited until the burn eased for his partner and he was ready for movement. Then the dance began. Tom took Harry's erection in a slick hand and moved in counter rhythm with his hips. He kept Harry still with his weight and made him accept being pleasured from inside and out. It was a wonderful tableau of form and movement and carnal fulfillment. I almost snapped my glass in two when they came. After a shared glass of champagne, I tossed Harry a sponge and told them both to get to work.

I was really enjoying the shampoo and bathing. The boys were doing an exceptionally good job. I had completely relaxed. I had even managed to not think about their impending absence.

"When will we get together again?" Harry asked. "When will we get to see the Club?"

So much for that effort. "That will be up to you two."

"Us?" Tom asked.

"I'll have no way of knowing when you're ready for service because I won't be with you everyday," I explained. "You both will have a lot on your plates when you leave Voyager."

They looked doubtful.

"There's the baby. That's an enormous adjustment," I said. "Harry, you're parents may not let go of you for a month. All three of you have to decide about what your careers will be and where those careers will have you living. Being a triad will be very different out in the world than it was on Voyager. Believe me, only when all of that is resolved will you feel the pull again."

They nodded reluctantly.

"And you will be welcome the moment you call," I said warmly. "Enjoy your return home, Dear Ones. And when you have found a place for service, I will be thrilled to show you my world."

They were content with that. An hour later, I was coiffed with lovely nails and feet. I also felt a lot better than I had when I left the Bridge. After an indulgent kiss or two, I had the boys get dressed and on their way. I still had to pick out a dress. That would be difficult enough. Then, there were the shoes. For an occasion such as this, I needed all my concentration to choose the proper pair of shoes.

In the end I chose a conservative a-line skirt and a white, slightly over sized shirt along with black riding boots. It looked respectable enough, but had an edge of naughtiness that was far enhanced for those who knew anything about me. I was ready as I would ever be.

I had to be there a little early to welcome the crew. I also wanted to thank Seven for an undoubtedly good job on the party. And I wasn't disappointed. The room was festively decorated with items representing every corner of planet Earth. Voyager had been oriented so that the planet itself was a backdrop in the windows. The incredibly copious buffet had been artistically arranged. The beverages were chilling and soft music was playing. We would be jammed into the space, but that was fine for a great party.

Seven walked in as I was admiring the room. She was exquisite in a dark red party dress with spaghetti straps. It hugged her body to just below the knee. She wore some very lovely red strappy shoe that competed the outfit. Her hair was flowing naturally. It was bedroom hair.

"You look divine," I said. As we were alone, I indulged in a long hug. "And you have done the crew a great service. Everything looks wonderful."

"Thank you, Captain,"

I smiled at her as we parted. "Kathryn, tonight. Kathryn from now on, Seven."

She smiled at that. "Kathryn. What are you and Chakotay doing after the party?"

I shrugged. "We hadn't really planned. I suppose we'll spend this last night on the ship together."

I supposed we'd really try to break that bed. In my quarters. Give them something to talk about. "Why do you ask?"

Seven blushed. I was riveted. "I was thinking that if it weren't an intrusion. I know we've only had one date..."

The champagne earlier had made me a little slow, but I was soon up to speed. "You want to join us?"

"Yes, if you do not think we are rushing the arrangement," she said looking very hopeful and completely edible.

I mentally counted to five to make sure I didn't sound like a complete lech. Again, I blame the champagne and possibly the earlier performance. I had not participated so that I would be very hungry for much more than food. As Seven was proposing to consummate a very complicated relationship, I had to treat it seriously.

"Of course, Seven," I said. "You are more than welcome, always."

I kissed her then very chastely on the lips. We had just pulled back when the first of the guests arrived. Naomi Wildman was among them. Her mother was in tow. Both looked lovely in their matching evening dresses and pearl necklaces. Ensign Wildman explained that Naomi had decided on the attire then dashed off to keep the girl from eating the dessert buffet before having any dinner.

Tom, Harry and B'Elanna and the baby arrived next. The boys put my Engineer into a comfy chair with the baby carrier on the table and then proceeded to wait on her hand and foot. They all looked quite smart in their party clothes though dear B'Elanna had the look of permanent fatigue that I've seen before on new mothers. They had named her Miral, a lovely choice. Chakotay was next in that black suit that made him look both stylish and edible. He brought a flower for me and for Seven. I saw her whisper in his ear for a while. Then he snapped his head at me then back at her. He did that about a dozen times before regaining his composure. I assume he gave a sane acceptance to her request to join us because she left him with a smile on her face.

Vorick was the next to arrive. He looked very smart in his party clothes. Barrows would have been proud. While he was still very much a Vulcan, he had become in the terms of ancient vernacular, the hippest Vulcan I had ever met. That night he was in an impeccably tailored black tuxedo. He looked incredible.

"Welcome, Vorick," I said. "I like your party clothes."

"Thank you, Captain. I have found fine tailoring pleasing to wear."

"I'm sorry that Barrows didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Her departure was sudden," I said.

"Your concern is unnecessary. She had informed me that such an event might occur should we abruptly return to the Alpha Quadrant," he said. "And she has left me instructions on how and when I can contact her."

I might have known. "Well, then enjoy the party. And save me a dance."

"Thank you. I shall."

Tuvok followed Vorick looking bemused at the younger Vulcan. There was humor in his gaze as he met mine.

"Barrows has had an interesting impact on a number of crewmen," I said dryly.

"Indeed," he replied. "Their friendship has been a positive one overall."

"Who knew?" I asked. "When do you go?"

I knew that the High Command and Vulcan Medical had been in contact with my friend. Given the situation, I didn't think there would be any delay.

"0800," he said. "I have already packed."

I nodded at that. Everything was happening so quickly. We had had all those years and I still felt that there wasn't enough time. "Please keep me informed."

"I shall, Captain," He said. "As there may not be another opportunity, I must say now that it has been a singular honor to serve with you on this ship. I doubt that I will find another commander with as much courage and integrity."

I was not going to cry. It would ruin the party. I startled Tuvok with a hug. "It has been my privilege as well, my friend. Now, go have fun."

He raised a brow at that but there was dry mirth in his eyes. He drifted toward the buffet.

Icheb was at my elbow then with a glass of champagne in his hand. "Are you supposed to have that, Icheb?"

He smiled. "No, Captain. Seven sent this over for you."

"Ah," I replied accepting the glass. I raised it at Seven with a smile and took a sip. "Thank you, Icheb. There is a wonderful array of non-alcoholic drinks from Earth you should try."

"The buffet is very attractive and intriguing," he said. "I will endeavor to get a representative sampling."

The champagne helped with my emotional state. Chakotay bearing a plate of seafood helped even more. "How are you holding up?"

I savored the lump crabmeat and butter for a moment. "This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I am happy..."

"But this is sad, too," Chakotay said.

I nodded. "It is such an amazing feeling to be free of the stress of that journey, but to lose everyone we've been with for so long..."

"I know," Chakotay chuckled. "I found myself taking the addresses of crewmen I didn't even like."

I laughed at that because of my Commander's expression. He was flummoxed. I handed him a glass of champagne.

"Did Seven speak to you about tonight?" He asked quietly.

"Yes," I said. "I could barely contain myself."

He nodded sipping the drink. He smiled at me as he lowered the glass. "I'm very glad for loose, dark pants."

We sipped the lovely champagne and nibbled at the sumptuous feast. The Doctor was fashionably late, but he had his camera in hand. The rest of the evening was filled with lots of photos of every combination imaginable. The beverages flowed and the food was devoured. I saw the sadness disappear as the evening's celebration went into high gear. There wasn't much room for dancing, so we disabled the doors and moved some of the party into the corridors. Dancing in corridors leads to conga lines. And it did. But as half the room emptied, I noticed that Naomi Wildman was still there staring out the window. Most children love the chance to join a conga line. Especially one the mother started.

"Naomi? Why aren't you dancing?" I asked. "Aren't you having a good time?"

She smiled at me. "It's the best time ever. And the last one, isn't it?"

I knelt down beside her. She was trying to be very brave but her lip was trembling.

"We'll never come back again, will we?"

"No, we won't come back here unless Voyager is a museum," I said. "And that's not the same. But we're alive, so we can be together again anytime. I know I want to know what you're doing and I want you to know where I am."

"You won't forget?"

I had to fight the tears again. "I could never forget any of you. But to make sure, let's have a general order."

She nodded at that. I got on the intercom and turned off the music just as the conga line was making another pass through the room.

"Attention everyone," I said. "Can you give me a moment? My co-host Naomi Wildman has pointed out that we've forgotten something."

The conga slowed to a halt and everyone looked out way.

"As part of this wonderful celebration, I am issuing a general order. It will likely be my final one on this vessel," I said. "We will exchange contact information and keep in touch. I'm sure we can fashion a Voyager Data Center so we can post once and all have access, but I encourage you to keep in touch with those on board you were close to. And one more thing. We will convene each year on this Stardate and celebrate our journey and our friendships."

There was a murmur of approval. I picked up my glass. "The time for my orders is over. Now, a toast. I don't have words that are adequate to convey what you have come to mean to me. Your courage and strength and faith are without compare in the Alpha Quadrant and you deserve all of the accolades that you will receive. For my part, you will always have a place in my heart. Thank you."

There was applause. I gulped my wine to keep from bursting into tears. Chakotay was beside me. Oh boy. He looked so serious. His eyes were shining.

"I've been designated to offer a toast from the crew. Thank you, Kathryn Janeway for your faith in us, for your unflinching courage and for keeping us true. Thank you for inspiring us to be the crew that we are. Thank you for getting us home."

I gave a bow to them and turned on the music. I couldn't look at anyone for a moment. So, I looked at Earth while the dancing went on around me. After a couple of songs, I saw Seven's reflection in the window. She was standing beside me looking very solemn.

"Aren't you having a good time, Seven?"

"Yes... Kathryn. But..."

But what? I wondered. She looks like she wanted to ask something really important. "Do you need something?"

She nodded at that but was still quiet. I didn't understand. The only time she was ever circumspect was when she wanted to talk about sex in public. My head snapped up. I had had too much champagne not to notice before.

"You were wondering if it is impolite to leave?"

"Among other things, yes."

I smiled at her. "Yes, everyone was greeted. We've spent time with our guests and been photographed with them. There isn't much left to do except get very drunk and do something shocking."

"No, there isn't."

"And we can do something shocking in private," I said reasonably.

Her cheeks flushed then.

"Have you taken care of Icheb?"

"Yes, he will go to his quarters when he gets tired."

"And Chakotay?"

"He's by the door," she said.

I looked up to find the man grinning like an idiot by the doors. I rolled my eyes then checked out the rest of the room. B'Elanna was down for the count. Tom was steering her out the door while Harry carried the baby. They waved as they left. Other crewmen were pairing off. It was time to go.

"Very well, Seven, let's adjourn to my quarters."

I though Seven would vibrate out of her clothes by the time we reached my quarters. I think all that real food and champagne had flipped that hedonist switch in her. Well, nothing cured a case of intense horniness like some intense Chakotay. As soon as we were in my quarters, I got out of my boots. Seven and Chakotay were staring at me.

"Don't mind me, Chakotay," I said. "Help yourself."

Chakotay didn't hesitate. He was kissing her long and deep with one hand in her hair the other on that lovely butt to press her close. I pulled the zipper down at the back of her dress then slipped it down to her ankles. She had been anticipating. Not one stitch of underwear. I reached between those lovely thighs and pressed two fingers up in her.

"Take the edge off for her, Chakotay," I said licking my fingers. "She's soaking wet."

Seven moaned into his mouth at that. Chakotay grunted then hoisted Seven up into his arms to carry her to the bed. He didn't even take off his suit jacket. Just pulled out his cock and pushed into her. Seven wrapped her long legs around his waist and started matching his thrusts while he tweaked and pulled her nipples. It was a masterstroke decision in how to first have her. He was introducing that basic pig of a man he could be and making her love it at the same time. It certainly wasn't a romantic first time -- it was all heat and lust and just short of brutal. But Seven was so primed that I don't she could have stood for slow and sensual. They both came quickly and powerfully.

Seven looked at Chakotay with something that was akin to awe. Oh, I did not need her worshiping him for being a pig. But I couldn't interfere. She would figure that out soon enough on our own. For his part, Chakotay just had the edge taken off. He gently covered Seven then turned on me unbuttoning his shirt.

"Oh, planning on actually uncovering more than your cock?" I asked.

He undressed as he crossed the room. "Are you waiting for an invitation?"

Before I could answer, he was undressing me. I could taste Seven's sweet mouth in his kiss. He blessed me with one of those melt my knees deep kisses. I lost myself in that barely feeling myself being lifted and carried to the bed.

I noticed Seven looking over with heavy, hooded eyes. But my attention was on the beautiful man who was driving me crazy with his mouth. He was torturing my nipples with that diabolical sucking and licking while his fingers pushed inside me. I realized he was very hard. I gasped in surprise as the erection bumped my thigh. He smiled against my skin.

"I'm not superhuman," he murmured. "I just wanted you both."

Chakotay's mouth returned to mine as I felt that hard heat fill me. He ravaged my mouth intent on hearing me come through the kiss. I was almost as primed as Seven was. And though it galled me to have Chakotay think himself that virile, I was already spiraling into orgasm. I felt Seven gently squeeze me hand, and I was gone. This time, Chakotay came as well.

We barely fit in the bed afterward. I was half on top of Chakotay and Seven was spooned up beside him. He had the good graces not to smirk, but not by much.

"If you're going to be insufferable about this, Seven and I can get a two bedroom," I muttered.

Chakotay chuckled. "Believe me, I understand how momentous this occasion is. I was blessed by one partner that was hornier than I was."

He squeezed Seven fondly. "I may be able to pull that off again the next time we spend years trying to get back from 70,000 light years away."

I looked over at him sideways. He seemed to be sincere. "Okay, so long as you have some perspective."

We fell silent for a while, but I could tell my companions weren't asleep. "What are you two doing tomorrow?"

"Icheb and I will visit my Aunt," Seven said. "Perhaps we will visit Starfleet Academy. He is anxious to see it. I plan to be back on board no later than 1600 hours."

"I'm going to the penal colony in Australia," Chakotay said. "Some of my comrades are there. I thought I would visit. I should be back by then, too."

"We can move in the day after tomorrow," I said. "There isn't much more we have left to do here."

"I am prepared to leave at any time," Seven said. "Icheb will be at the Academy by then."

"Same here," Chakotay said.

It seemed that I was the only one that was reluctant to leave. I hadn't even thought about packing. Chakotay pressed me closer.

"Don't worry, we'll help," he whispered. "Go to sleep."

We couldn't have dozed more than a few hours when I felt Seven stirring beside me. That was another problem with triads. It took some time to get use to each other's sleeping habits. Sometimes, it wasn't possible to all sleep together. I sensed that Seven's restlessness had nothing to do with sleeping.

I peered over Chakotay at her. Seven was looking at him in the moonlight. It seemed that her hunger had barely been abated. She looked up at me with questions in her eyes.

"If you want to touch him, go ahead," I whispered. "He won't mind."

She gazed the length of him as if she didn't know what to do first. She looked at me again.

"Do what you want, Seven. I doubt there is a wrong way to touch him."

Seven considered him again then she licked along his tattoo then kissed his eyelids. She was both tasting him and caressing him. One hand slid along his tawny skin to flick his nipples. Chakotay gasped then. Seven stole his breath by sealing her lush mouth over his. Chakotay fisted her hair holding her still for his kiss. He then maneuvered her over him so that she was between us. The kissing never stopped. Seven was slipping into the spell of that very talented mouth. I decided to worship that beautiful body with mine. Her skin was so sweet. She reminded me of a warm peach. I lavished attention on those wondrous breasts. I licked them then sucked and nipped them to rock hardness before moving to that navel. Seven was moaning into the kiss. I had to hold her down as I moved lower still. Her clit was so sensitive that the merest flick of the tongue made her wail against Chakotay's mouth. But I wanted more than a flick. I tongued and sucked at that tasty nub until she quivered then screamed. Luckily, her mouth was covered.

Chakotay gentled the kiss then pulled back. Seven was gasping and gaping at us. I licked my lips then slid up to the headboard and propped myself up. Chakotay urged her onto her knees between my legs. I would have considered it thoughtful that he was thinking of my needs, but I knew where he was headed. While Seven was lapping at my wetness and returning my oral worship, Chakotay was working his fingers and then his cock into that ultra tight opening between those perfect cheeks. He groaned with pleasure as he pushed himself fully inside and had to hold himself still to keep from exploding immediately. Seven kept working on me with her mouth while Chakotay rode her with deep rhythmic strokes. It was such a sight that I lost it. I closed my eyes as the orgasm crashed through me. Somewhere during that I heard Chakotay roar. Afterwards, all I know was we were a heap of limbs and sweat.

We never got more than ninety minutes sleep in a row that night. One of us would wake up and then it would start all over again. Chakotay gave me such a smirk when he awoke to find my throat wrapped around his cock I resolved that during the next session I would make a point of rousing Seven to his exclusion. Sure enough, when I woke Seven an hour later I whispered my plan as I tongued her ear. We were locked in each other's embrace, our bodies grinding in wild abandon. Seven's cries were so loud I'm sure the whole crew heard us. Chakotay tried his best, nibbling on our shoulders and caressing our bottoms, but we both ignored him. As I pinned Seven to the bed, he climbed on top of me, his cock sliding between my cheeks, looking for an invitation. We rolled him off of us. As he tried to comprehend our resistance, I reached down and gave him a few deft strokes before turning my hands back to my beautiful Borg. When Seven repeated my gesture, he finally understood and began masturbating in earnest. We were considerate enough to allow him to release himself on us.

That last time, Chakotay finally got to come between Seven's tits. I was wrapped around his back, sucking his neck, his every stroke transmitted through his body to my aching box. At this point he had so little semen left for his efforts that we all knew he was done for a while. It took barely any effort at all to lap up. Hell of a way to leave that bed for good. Starfleet would have to replace it for sure. I resolved not to change the sheets.

It may have been the hangover. Or that I hadn't had that kind of meal since the Bacchus days on the Club. Or it could have been all the nocturnal activity after the party. Or it could have been that I can only take so much perkiness or repression early in the day. Whatever the reason, I found myself full of deviltry when I turned up for my meeting with the Starfleet counselors. The choice surprised me and I understood the reason why no one told me before I appeared. I might have declined. When I entered the nicely appointed conference room done in soothing colors, there were counselors Ezri Dax and Deanna Troi waiting for me.

It was unfair, but I resented them immediately. I was certain they were a calculated choice. Why go through such trouble if it weren't to make something unwelcome easier to swallow. Well, the only counselor I would be willing to listen to about my crew was one who had been on Voyager with us. They stood as I approached offering their hands.

"Thank you for taking the time to see us, Captain Janeway," Troi said.

"This is very important," I said. "How is Captain Picard?" I then thought about everything we had done on that saddle and how wonderful it felt. Troi turned a bright red. Dax seemed to want to seep into the floor.

Troi fidgeted. "He is well. He did in fact call today to ask if I was seeing you. He sends his regards."

"How kind of him," I purred. "And how is your mother? It has been ages since I've seen the glorious Lwaxana."

Troi got owl-eyed on me. "You know my mother?"

"Of course I would know such a spectacular hedonist," I said. "She is well thought of at my little business. Day passes only, I assure you. She worried about her diplomatic position, thus she never actually became a member."

Troi went redder still. I honestly didn't know how this one could be related to Lwaxana. I wonder if she really knew how to have an orgasm. But Ezri was being neglected. I couldn't have that.

"There's someone at the Club that really wants to meet you," I said to her. "Barrows is reborn in a way."

She gasped and her eyes grew enormous. "Tonia Barrows... reborn?"

"She's one of the most vexing holoprograms ever. And she has such fond memories of Curson," I said.

"And he of her," she said quietly.

Now that I made it clear who was running this little meeting, I decided to play nice.

"Shall we get to business? I don't like telling you how to perform your duties, but I have to warn you that simply scheduling the crew for sessions won't go over well. They will resent any implication that they aren't well adjusted," I said.

"We never meant to imply any such thing," Troi said. "We want to make the adjustment easier."

She pushed aside her padd as though I had scuttled her whole meeting.

"You must admit that there will be some need for adjustment," Dax said.

I glared at her. "Of course I know that. I do have some concerns that came up last night at our farewell party, but you will not help them if they shut down. "

That got their attention. I explained that Naomi Wildman, Icheb and Seven have only known Voyager as a home and don't know Earth at all. I was very concerned about their adjustment. But there was more.

"All during the day yesterday, I saw a sadness in the crew. We've been through so much and have been so close," I said. "They want to move on and join their families and get on with their lives, but the thought of not seeing each other is almost physically painful for me -- and I see it in them."

The women nodded.

"We had this concern as well, Captain," Troi said. "Your crew shared such an extraordinary experience and had to rely on each other for such a sustained period, we worry what separating you will do to your well being."

"What can we do?" I asked.

"We had thought that we could offer the private cafeteria here for a weekly luncheon for crew to catch up with each other," Dax said.

"We can be there if needed, but I think the best thing is to let the crew talk to each other in a new routine," Dax said. "You can talk about anything on your minds or just catch up. What we believe is that over time, less and less crew will show up for these meetings."

That made sense to me. I agreed. We talked about logistics for a half an hour. I took a padd with the information to disseminate before the crew left. Troi bid me goodbye, but Dax remained behind.

"Forgive me, Captain. I sometimes let my mouth engage before my brain. I met no disrespect," she said. "I know that you have an extraordinary insight into people."

"Thank you, Dax," I said. "My apologies for being difficult."

"Thank you," she said. "And now I have a gift to help with your adjustment."

"Oh?" I couldn't imagine what that could be. A straight jacket?

I heard nails clicking on the smooth floor and jumped out of my chair. Molly entered the room and trotted right over to me. She sniffed my hand and looked at me with her tail wagging. I stooped down and got a thorough face wash. I hugged her close, so glad to see her and yet sad about the white in her fur and on her muzzle. She whined happily. I started crying. I mouthed a 'thank you' at Ezri who left us alone.

"Okay, girl," I said. "You ready to go? I want you to see my ship and meet my crew."

I wondered if Seven liked dogs. I hadn't even thought about that.

I had time after the meeting. I relayed the information for the weekly meetings to Mr. Kim to pass along to the crew and then had a site-to-site transfer to my apartment building. I had let the manager know that I would likely return. I could have easily used land transit, but I wasn't ready to be in the public yet. The apartment was as I had left it. Had I not looked in a mirror, I found it hard to believe I had been gone for so long. Molly went hunting for her dish and seemed confused that there wasn't one.

"We'll have lunch in a little while," I said.

I had a lovely one bedroom, but I found that there was a three bedroom available on the top floor of the building. That is where I went first. It had a beautiful view, a balcony and enough space so that we wouldn't feel pressed against each other. Triads are tricky. Sometimes you crave more attention than you think the other two can give and sometimes you really want to be alone. Separate bedrooms are necessary in the beginning. Triads were also awkward socially. Even in these generally enlightened times, such relationships can cause personal and professional problems. This place would work well. We could even get a sofa that Icheb could sleep on when he visited. I left a detailed message arranging to lease the apartment. I asked for extra power for the alcove in Seven's room. I then arranged for my furniture to be moved from my old place to this one. I also placed an order for new beds in each room. Soon I was ready to take Molly to see Voyager.

Naomi Wildman's introduction was very short and in the transporter room. Samantha Wildman had found her husband and they were on their way home. I could tell the girl had been crying. The Transporter Chief even looked upset. Molly helped with that. My little assistant liked her shiny fur and she was just the right height to get licked in the face.

"You can see Molly next week when we all have lunch," I said.

"I'd forgotten about that," Samantha said. "Kim's announcement came in the middle of an 'issue' during packing."

I nodded at that.

"All of us will have lunch?" She asked.

"Every week for as long as we want," Samantha said. "Now, don't you want to meet your Daddy? He's been waiting a long time to meet you."

She stopped petting Molly and came over to me. It was a very tight hug.

"I'll see you next week," I said. I hugged Samantha Wildman then as well then watched them beam out.

The rest of the afternoon wasn't as difficult emotionally. Most of the crew was already on Earth. I found out that the Doctor had escorted B'Elanna and the baby to Starfleet Medical for further evaluation. After that, he was going on some exotic vacation. I remembered only vague details about it due to the remarkable amount of champagne I had had while he was explaining. Harry and Tom were still aboard because they had to go over the systems with the Starfleet personnel sent to evaluate and repair. They liked Molly and Molly liked them. But Tom would relate to any female that greeted him by putting her nose in his crotch.

We met for tea in my Ready Room. Both men felt as I did -- a little out of sorts with the end of their roles. I'm sure both were missing B'Elanna and the baby.

I told them about the debriefing and about the new apartment. They were both interested in that.

"How do we handle our arrangement," Tom said. "What do you tell people?"

I thought about that. "You'll have to tell your families eventually. It makes it easier than them hearing about it via rumor. Once people close to you understand that it isn't always some naked orgy, they will accept it."

"I don't know about that," Kim said.

"Harry, as long as you make Admiral in the next two years and are happy, your parents will be happy," I said. "They can deny you nothing."

He smiled at that but there seemed to be something bothering him. He knew not to hide his feelings from me, so I assumed he was processing. Then, Tom distracted us all.

"Do we get a log about you three last night?" He asked.

"Tom! That's private," Harry exclaimed.

"Oh yeah?" Tom asked. "I wasn't the one asking 'what do you think they're doing' every five minutes."

I smirked at them. "You know I'm keeping a tally of transgressions for your first trip to the Club. And this time my handlers won't disappear."

Tom blushed at me but met the challenge in my gaze. "As you wish, Mistress."

Harry rolled his eyes. "When do you return to the Club?"

I sighed at that. "I want to be there now. I already miss Barrows and I'm very curious to see what the place looks like now. But there is so much to tend to first."

"Why not a quick visit," Harry said.

"My self control has been out of practice where that place is concerned," I chuckled. "I have to go when I have time to run amok for a few days."

"Oh, man," Tom, sighed.

I got a call then. And when I answered I was surprised. It was Seven's Aunt Claudia. She looked a bit confused and worried.

"Hello, This is Captain Janeway. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if there had been a change in Annika's plans," she said.

"She never arrived?" I was alarmed but didn't want to convey that to her.

"No, and I haven't heard a word from her."

I composed myself. "I'm sure it was a mix-up of some sort. Things on board are a bit hectic with Starfleet inspecting and everyone moving. I'll find out what's happened and call you back."

"Thank you, Captain."

Both men looked concerned.

"Seven wouldn't change her plans without notifying anyone," Kim said. "And she doesn't know anyone on Earth."

"Tom, you trace her departure," I said. "Harry, just to make sure, search the ship."

They left quickly. I hailed Chakotay. He didn't respond. On the third try I got another voice on his com badge.

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway. Whom am I speaking to and where is Commander Chakotay?"

"This is Milton Bryce, Superintendent of Kaffelklubben Penitentiary. Commander Chakotay has been taken into custody on a warrant issued by the Federation seven years ago."

"That's ridiculous!" I said tightly. "The Maquis members of my crew have served the equivalent of any sentence. This matter was to be handled on their behalf long ago."

"My apologies, Captain, but that isn't my job," Bryce said. "The warrant arrived yesterday and I was instructed to take him into custody should he appear."

"May I speak to Commander Chakotay?"

"I cannot allow that at this time," he replied in a terse voice.

"Who sent the warrant?" I said. My voice sounded icy to my own ears.

"I'm not at liberty to say."

"I'll see about that," I said and closed the channel. A cold knot had formed in the pit of my stomach.

I had a very bad feeling about this. I called Starfleet Medical to find B'Elanna. I was told that she was in the prison wing of the hospital and not allowed any calls. The relatives of the rest of the Maquis crew had not seen them though all were expecting to.

Tom was back a short time later. The expression on his face told me that he had more bad news than about Seven and Icheb.

"B'Elanna and Miral are being held by Starfleet Security," he said. His voice was hollow.

"I know. I just discovered that all the Maquis crew is being held on the original warrant," I said.

"How can that be, Captain?"

I couldn't bear the anguish in his voice.

"I don't know, Tom. I was assured that this subject was closed as far as the Maquis were concerned," I replied.

"Do you think he knew?" Tom demanded. "Do you think he knew when he met his granddaughter that this would happen?"

"No, Tom!" I said. "I am certain your father was not in the loop on this. He couldn't do that to you."

He hung his head for a moment. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little... frantic."

"I know. So am I," I replied. "What about Seven?"

He looked up at me. "That's worse. I had a hunch, so I ran a bit of a scam on the Transporter Center she and Icheb beamed into. I asked if Starfleet Intelligence had properly acquired the subjects. They said they had."

"Dear god," I whispered. "She had warned me."

"Who?"

Harry returned just then. He was very worried.

"They aren't on board," He said. "And I've found their personal logs and their medical files are gone. I can't trace who took them."

"We know," Tom said. "Starfleet Intelligence."

"No."

"It gets even better. The Federation has arrested all our Maquis including B'Elanna and the baby," Tom said bitterly. "We were safer with the Borg. Who warned you about all this?"

"Admiral Janeway," I replied tiredly. "She looked into the times in the Federation immediately after the Dominion War. She characterized it as an era of extreme paranoia and power struggles for the direction of Starfleet and the Federation. In an atmosphere like that, the Maquis and Seven are likely separate issues by separate groups with their own agendas."

"Great," Tom said. "What did she expect you to do about it?"

I sighed. "Something I couldn't ask you to do. She wanted us to refuse any boardings or separations until the disposition of Seven, Icheb and the Maquis was clearly and publicly stated. I know it seems like a reasonable plan now, but as we faced your father's ship, would you have wanted to greet him on a red alert at battle stations? We had no evidence that all was not as it seemed."

"And after all that fighting for all those years," Harry said. "I don't know if the crew would have understood that Earth was the enemy. I still can't believe it."

"Okay, so what can we do about it now?" Tom demanded. I could feel the tension rising in him. Harry put a soothing hand on his shoulder.

"We're not without resources gentlemen," I said solemnly. "Harry, you should pack your loved ones things and go back to Earth. See your parents and find a place for you four to live. Keep your com badge. I'm going to need you in 24 to 48 hours."

"Tom, the Admiral may not be involved, but I know he knows a way out of this," I said. "We're accepting his dinner invitation."

My pilot's eyes were glittering with anger. "Yes, Ma'am."

"You've got your orders," I said. "But Harry, before you leave, get me through to Captain Picard"

"Yes, Captain."

They left me. I put in for a secure channel while petting Molly to calm my nerves. It was time to use all my resources. They would soon wish that I had stood them down with photon torpedoes.

"Welcome to the Club," Tristan began.

"Belay that, beautiful," I said.

"Greetings, Mistress," he said with a beautiful blush. "How may I serve?"

"Have my chambers prepared," I said. "And get me Vic Fontaine."

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