Summary: Jim and Blair discuss their favorite television shows, while spending time in the hospital.
Acknowledgments: Thank you for Mary for the beta. Thank you to Lisa for giving us this playground to hang out in.
Holey Moley
Patt
In the emergency room, they finally wheeled a sweating, pale and exhausted Blair Sandburg.
After a few tests the Doctor came in and said, “He’s got some type of infectious virus and it seems to have spread to his lungs. We’ll get the virus kicked and then he’ll be able to go home. My nurse said she drew your blood. It’s very contagious, so chances are you’ll have it. We’ll be wearing masks the rest of the week. He’ll be put on a special section of Medical. I’m sorry Mr. Sandburg. Your dance card is used up for five days or more.” Doctor Mason walked out laughing.
“I love all of the sympathy I got from him. Tembel (Stupid moron.) And don’t even ask what that means. I’m pissed. Go home.” Blair started shoving him out the door.
“Chief, I can’t leave. I’m contagious.”
“Oh, that’s fucking grand. Wait! Do you think he’ll put us in a room to share?”
“Just a second ago you said it was fucking grand.”
“I’m sorry, man. I want to share a room with you. Ask him when he comes in, okay?”
“Whatever, Sandburg.”
Blair looked over at him watching something out the window and said, “You look nice today.”
“What?” Jim asked as he walked towards his delusional partner.
“Just what I said. You look nice.”
“Sandburg, I’m wearing Docker’s and a button down shirt. Nothing out the ordinary. So why did you say that?”
“No reason. I was just sad. I thought I could at least say something nice.”
“Chief, why are you sad?”
“Well Duh, I’m going to be stuck in the hospital with you. You’re a big grump. A grump that dresses nicely.” Blair smiled.
“You are so weird.” Both men turned as the Doctor and Nurses came in wearing their masks. “We’ve got your room ready. Follow us men as soon as we get you in scrubs and masks.” Doctor Mason smiled at the two men.
They followed them down and let them set the two of them up for the night.
“Detective Ellison? You might not have to stay. If you’re not contagious, you’ll be able to go home.”
“Doctor, if it’s contagious I have it.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were that type of friends.”
Blair popped up from his bed and said, “Neither did I.”
“We live in the same spaces. So we breathe the same air. See?” Jim was trying to explain.
The door opened and in walked a nurse with results. “Good news, Jim. You’re not contagious.”
“Wait! I thought you said anyone that had it and spent time with a person they would have it too.” Blair was ranting by this time. “And what’s with calling him Jim?”
“The results say he’s resistant to the virus. So he’ll never get it.” Doctor Mason explained.
“Never? Never? But I get everything and he gets to go home?” Blair was whining by this time. Then suddenly he jumped down from the bed and pulled Jim’s shirt out of his waistband and began examining his abdomen.
“Would you like to be alone?” A laughing Doctor Mason asked.
“No,” Jim laughed, “I don’t know what he’s doing.” The Doctor noticed that Jim didn’t move away from his partner, making this ole Doctor smile.
Mason asked him, “Blair, what are you doing?”
“I’m making sure nothing was put into him lately.”
Jim looked down at his stomach with alarm, “Chief, what could be in there?”
“I’m just saying, you could have been taken over by a Goa’uld. Just cuz it happens only on a television show, doesn’t mean it can’t really happen. So there. And stop laughing, Ellison.”
“What is a Goa’uld?” Doctor Mason asked.
Jim explained all about Stargate and how it was their favorite show.
“While I’m here, let me check your abdomen out. Lay back.”
“Chief, do you see this? I’ve got nothing wrong with me and they won’t let me leave now.”
“Poor baby.” Blair burst out laughing and then added, “hey Doc, now be careful, because they always say they don’t have one in them. They’re sneaky. Then they jump out and get you.”
“Sandburg, tell him you’re kidding. And besides this one would not be a Goa’uld, it would have to be a Symbiote.” Jim demanded. Looking at the Doctor, he continued as he pointed, “The Symbiote would be in the stomach, while the Goa’uld would go into the back of the neck.”
Doctor Mason, trying not to laugh, began tapping Jim’s stomach and a surprised Jim, jumped. “Jim, there might be something in there.”
“No?” Blair called from across the room. “We were joking.”
“I’ll run some more tests in the morning. In the meantime, try and get some rest. Goodnight boys.” Mason walked out the door with a huge smile on his face.
“Doctor Mason, don’t leave us. They get wild, strong and evil during the night.” Blair was getting into this big time now. He looked over at his partner and smiled.
Jim was pushing and poking on his abdomen and said, “I don’t feel anything, Chief.”
“Chances are it would be up here,” Blair pointed to his brain.
“Oh god. Maybe I have a tumor.”
“Man, you’re such a drama queen. There’s nothing wrong. I bet Doctor Mason is teasing you. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“I was teasing and he made you have an exam. You could be home watching something by now.”
“Why did you want me to stay anyhow?” Jim wondered aloud.
“I thought maybe we could do some serious talking.” Blair said looking at the floor.
Jim smiled and asked, “What do you think of Teal’c’s new hair? Does it bug you, do you like it or do you want him to shave it bald again?”
“That’s not exactly what I was thinking about serious talk.”
“I myself like his hair. Gives him a lot more personality.” Jim answered.
“I like him with his hair too, but he was so fucking sexy with the bald head.”
“You like bald men?” Jim was surprised.
“Oh yeah. I love bald guys. Sean Connery is one of my favorites.”
“Chief, you like Sean Connery? You seem sort of young to have a thing for him.”
“Did I say I had a thing for him? I think not. I just think he’s handsome.” Blair glared over at Jim.
“Back to Stargate, what do you think of Jack not being with the gang?”
“Jim, its no different then all of us going out on a call and Simon waiting at the Bullpen.”
“Oh, that’s true. But do you like him as a General?” Jim asked.
“Not really. I think he’s sort of goofy for a General. What do you think?”
“Couldn’t agree with you more, Chief. What do you see happening this season?”
“I sort of see Colonel Carter and Teal’c becoming an item.” Blair smiled over at his friend.
“No way. I see Teal’c and O’Neill. They’re a lot closer than anyone else. But I do see Daniel and Carter having eyes for each other. There are sparks flying between them.”
“Jim, do you realize that you just put two men together? I just never thought of you as one that would think of gay couples?”
“Chief, first of all it’s nothing new. Next, we’re very close and if you said you would date me, I’d date you in a heartbeat. Big time.”
“Now dating big time, does that describe the size of your penis?” Blair teased.
“I was serious, Chief.”
“So was I. I want to know or was it about asking me out? You’re on. I find you very attractive.” Blair was bouncing now.
“While we’re out, could I call you Jack?”
“Oh goody, so I get to call you Teal’c?” Blair giggled.
“Sounds good to me partner. Where would you like to go?”
“How about dinner and a movie?” Blair was once again bouncing.
“How about that Alien vs Predator ? That looks pretty damn good. Edge of your seat type of show.” Jim was now almost bouncing.
“I was thinking about that movie and realized they should have invited the Goa’uld. They would have kicked their asses. Don’t you think?” Blair posed the question happily.
“Yeah, I think you’re right. They should have invited them.” Jim burst out laughing.
“Knock it off, Jim. There could be such a thing as a Goa’uld. So there.”
“Okay, I agree again. Geeze. I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I?”
“But of course not, Jim.”
“Figures…”
“Do you like the new Stargate Atlantis show?” Blair quizzed.
“Not really. I can’t seem to bond with of the characters.” Jim answered.
“Me either. I think it’s sort of boring. Plus Teal’c isn’t in it. What do you mean bond? The only person you’re going to bond with is me. Got it?”
“Do you have a thing for Teal’c? That would leave all other men out. Who could compete?”
“Jim, did you not hear me say you’re not going to be with anyone else but me? I think Teal’c is hot, but you’re way hotter. I want you soon.”
“Chief, we can’t do anything in the hospital.”
“Why not?”
“You have a fever.”
“Check me, it’s gone.”
Jim moved over and touched his forehead and agreed, “It is gone.”
“Duh. That’s what I just said.”
“There is a big window in our door to our room. Anyone could look in and see us.”
“Jim, you are so frigging anal.” Blair said sighing.
Trying to keep on top of things, Jim decided to change the subject. “What do you think of the two people that got fired from CSI?”
“That they’re idiots?”
“Here, here.”
“It’s sort of like the David Curoso thing that happened on NYPD Blue.” Blair said.
“But now he’s on CSI Miami and they say it’s doing well.”
“Jim, the only reason it would do well, is because of the fellow cast members. He sucks.”
“Don’t hold it back, Sandburg, tell me how you really feel.”
“What do you think of Catherine?”
“Catherine, who?” Jim asked.
“Don’t be dense Jim. You know I’m talking about Catherine on CSI.”
“She’s good and I like her relationship between everyone. She seems like a good mom too.”
“What about Gil?” Blair said seriously.
“I have a thing for him. He makes me warm in many places. Not as many as you do, but at the time, I didn’t know we were going to date.” Jim explained.
“I totally agree. He’s hot.”
“You think Gil is hot?” Jim was jealous.
“I think he’s way hot. I’ve had a thing for him for ages. Him and Warrick.”
“Sandburg, I don’t even know what to say.”
“Just kiss me, then.”
“You were doing that on purpose, weren’t you?” Jim moved towards Blair and they began to kiss.
Doctor Mason was walking down the hallway and a nurse caught up to him and said, “Doctor Mason, the tests were incorrect. Blair Sandburg has nothing wrong with him.”
“Thank you, Nurse Macon. They’ll be so glad to get out of here.” Mason walked towards their room and could hear them talking.
“And do you believe that crappy ending on Without A Trace? I hated it.” Blair ranted as he lay in bed with his love.
“Instead I would rather kiss. What do you think?”
“Bring it on, big man.” Blair loved the way Jim kissed his lips. He seemed to almost swallow them and give them back. Then he’d flick his tongue over them to make them taste like both men.
“I love the way you kiss. There is some lotion in the bathroom. Want to fuck me?” Blair asked.
“Not tonight. Tonight we’ll get naked and stroke our erections together until we come. Is that all right?”
“Jim, how about ‘69’?”
Jim didn’t answer, instead he moved into the ‘69’ position. God, he hadn’t done this in years and years. “Chief, you okay?”
“Dandy, you taste really well.”
Jim began to take Blair’s cock into his mouth and sucked softly at first. Then the suction was taken up a few notches. Jim knew he was doing a good job, because Blair was squirming around and moaning all over his own cock.
Both men just continued doing what they were doing and finally Jim came with a growl. Blair followed closely behind with a howl.
Jim moved up to the top of the bed and said, “I loved that. Thank you, Chief.”
“You are most welcome.”
“Doctor Mason is outside the door.” Jim said blushing. He got into the protector mode.
Blair pulled the sheet up over them and said, “Come on in, Doc.”
“Sandburg, we have wonderful news. You had an allergic reaction to something, you’re not sick at all. So you can go home. And Jim, needless to say you aren’t sick either.”
“That’s great news. Thank you. Could we change in private?” Jim asked, continuing to blush.
“Of course. Have more fun when you get home. Do you need any supplies?” Mason was having way too much fun.
“NO thank you. We have everything.” Jim snapped.
“Jim, we don’t have anything. Yes, Doctor Mason, we would like anything you have.”
The doctor walked out and Jim said, “Way to go, Sandburg.”
“He already knew that we’re going to fuck. Who cares?”
On the drive home, Jim was nervous so decided to talk about something else. “Chief, do you like Monk?”
“The fish or the Catholic or Chinese Order?”
“No, the series.”
“You know I love the series. Adrian is a riot. He reminds me a little of you.” Blair smiled.
Jim glared. “What do you mean by that?”
“He solves things by brain power and senses. I call him Jim 2.”
“If I wasn’t driving, I’d knock you up side the head.” Jim was growling now.
“Oh as if.”
“So what do you think of the show? Do you think it’s realistic?”
“Jim, you would never let someone come in and take over like that. But that Captain, has a very nice butt.”
“What in the hell does that have to do with anything?”
“I just love to tease you, big man. Seriously, I don’t think they give them enough screen time. And Shirona get’s way too much.”
“You don’t like her?” Jim inquired.
“Oh yeah. I like her and Adrian a lot. But I think they focus too much on her sometimes.” Blair explained.
“One thing I really hate is how late it comes on. Pisses me off. A working stiff can’t stay up that late.”
“Jim, you are a working stiff and you stay up every week.” Blair laughed.
“Shut up.”
“Wait a minute… Are you stiff? Is that why you made that remark?”
“Har, har, har…”
“So I don’t make you hard?”
“Chief, you know you do. So just hush.”
“What do you want to do when we get home?”
“It’s Friday. Stargate. We get to watch Jack and Teal’c.” Jim snickered.
“So I’m second after Stargate?”
“Never, Blair. Never.”
“So we’re not watching Stargate tonight?” Blair asked.
“I’m recording it on the new DVD Recorder. We’ll watch it at our leisure.” A big smile spread across Jim’s face.
“I bet we’re going to be using that a lot more, aren’t we?”
“Yah sure ya betcha.”
“You’re so fucking cute, Jim.”
“And this is a good thing, right?”
“Or course it’s a good thing. I can’t wait to see you naked.”
“Slow down, slugger. We just got out of the hospital, where you already saw me naked.” Jim reminded Blair.
“Need I remind you, that there was nothing wrong with us?” Blair loved being right. “And you look great naked.”
“Oh yeah.”
“What a rapid come back, Sentinel Man.”
“Chief, what do you want to do foremost?”
“Get home.”
“I’m serious. What do you want to try first?”
“I want to suck you until you come all over both of us.” Blair looked over at Jim and saw the blush and smiled.
“I’m afraid I don’t have that much come, Chief. You read about these things and they shoot up to their chin and so forth…I can’t do that. You might want to look elsewhere.”
“Do I understand this right, Jim? You’re dumping me before we even get to fuck? I already sucked you off and you came just fine.”
“I just don’t want to disappoint you. I’ve always had this thing about my cock size too.”
“Why?”
“Because Carolyn used to tell me it wasn’t big enough.”
Don’t piss off a certain Guide. “Can I just say how much I hate her?”
“Chief, don’t say that. It’s not nice.”
“And her telling you your cock wasn’t big enough was? We’ll measure when we get home.” Blair glanced over and saw the look of horror on Jim’s face. “Kidding…”
“Chief, seriously, I think we should sleep on this and decide what to do tomorrow.”
“So we can watch Stargate, right?”
“Yeah, we don’t need to tape it. We’ll do some thinking and talk in the morning.”
“Sounds good to me.” When they arrived, Blair popped popcorn and got them each a beer.
“Man, this beer taste good” as he gulped half of it down.
“Chief, I’m not sure it’s a good idea to drink so soon after we got out of the hospital.”
“Jim, I think you need to go back. It was mistake and I think you might have brain damage.” Blair snickered and even Jim had to join in.
“I keep forgetting that it was all a big mistake.” Jim tried to make excuses again.
“Oh good, it’s on.” Blair was bouncing next to Jim.
“Excited, there Chief?”
“Oh yeah. Man he looks hot.”
“Who? Teal’c?” Jim asked
“The only two were Teal’c and that Sgt guy from the gate room. Like I would go for him.”
“I don’t understand how you could be interested in me, if you’re hot for Teal’c.” Jim was showing his self-esteem at it’s very lowest.
Blair reached around and smacked Jim on the back of the head.
“Ow. That hurt. And what was that for?”
“I’m so warm for your form. I was doing this on purpose so you would get jealous. But instead you back off further. I give up.” Blair stood up quickly and stormed into his room.
“Chief, he’s shooting his staff weapon. Oh, he just shot it again. Man, I’m hard now.”
Blair flew over the sofa and landed on top of Jim. “God, I love when he shoots that weapon, but I really prefer you shooting yours.”
“My gun?”
“No, you twit. Your penis.”
“You really like my penis, babe?”
Jim got another smack on the back of the head.
“I ask a question and you give me brain damage. I’m telling Simon. In fact, I’m calling my Dad.”
“Yeah, you do that, Jimmy.” Blair kissed him and snuggled in closer.
“I was serious. I don’t want you to settle for a guy with a penis that isn’t good enough.”
Blair began to twist Jim’s nipple.
“Ow. Stop that. It hurts…” Jim whined.
“You are such a wuss. But a wuss with a gorgeous penis and I have to tell you, I’ve never seen any one shoot come like that. So we’re even. Stop worrying and just love me.”
They watched the show for a while and Blair began to stroke his cock through his sweats. Jim watched him for some time and then took over the job.
“I love you, Blair.”
“Oh man, you called me Blair.”
“I call you Blair a lot.”
“Not when you say I love you. I love you too, big man.”
“Wanna go upstairs?” Jim asked hopefully.
“What about our show?”
“I’ve had it taping this whole time. We’ll watch it tomorrow.” Jim pulled Blair up and helped him strip as they walked up the stairs.
“Jimmy, you could have made me fall on the stairs. That was dangerous. Don’t strip someone’s clothing off while walking up stairs.”
“Don’t call me Jimmy.”
“Hey, you call me Sandburg and Chief. I can call you Jimmy. Please?”
”Does it matter that I hate being called Jimmy? Does it matter that it reminds me of many bad things with my ex-wife?”
“Man, I didn’t even think of that. I won’t call you Jimmy, I’ll call you Bubba.”
“Bubba?????”
“You fit it so well. It’s perfect. What do you think?”
“You won’t call me Bubba at work, right?”
“Of course not. Then I’ll call you stud-muffin.”
“Sandburg, knock it off. I’m serious.”
“Whoa, the big bad Sentinel is serious. I better get back.”
Looking depressed and defeated, Jim said, “I came up with every intention of showing you how much I loved you. But I’m out of the mood now.” Jim stormed downstairs and turned Stargate back on.
Blair smiled and walked down the stairs watching him as he went. Then he grabbed them both a beer and sat next to Jim.
“No way. A beer is not going to get you back into my good graces.”
“I don’t want to get in your good graces. I would like for you to get into mine. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was teasing you.”
“Sandburg, let me watch my show.”
“Our show.” Blair smacked Jim on the back of the head.
“Since when have you gotten into physical abuse?”
“Get a grip, Ellison.”
“You get a grip and move over to the other end of the sofa.” Jim shoved him fairly hard.
“I just got out of the hospital. Man, you’re mean.”
“God, I’m so sorry. Chief, are you all right?”
“Just watch the show. Look Teal’c is in some sort of game for the computer. That’s different. They must not have had anything to do this week.”
“Sandburg, shut up.”
“I bet you won’t see any staff weapons on this one.”
“Shut up.”
“And Jim, you hurt me when you shoved me. So fuck you.” Blair got up and went into his room, smiling the entire way.
“What do you mean I hurt you?”
“There’s a dictionary on my book shelf. Look it up.”
“Where did I hurt you? You are such a shit.”
Blair took his shirt off and Jim saw four small bruises and wanted to die. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, Chief. So sorry.”
“Yeah, right. I’m glad I found this out now.”
Jim’s head flew up and said, “Found out what?”
“You’re abusive, dickhead.”
Jim stared at him with tears in his eyes and said, “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I would totally understand if you wish to move. Goodnight.”
Blair heard him go upstairs and wondered why he did these things. Those bruises were from work. They weren’t from Jim. Now Jim thinks he’s abusive. // Is it because you told him that, you dip shit? //
Blair got up and began the trip upstairs to tell Jim the truth. He could hear that Jim was sniffing softly and that broke his heart.
“Chief, I want to be alone.”
“Tough, tooty. Now move over. I need to confess something and then you’re going to make love to me.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Who’s the thinker here? That’s right big boy; it’s me. Now lay back and listen and promise you won’t hurt me.”
Blair heard Jim began to sniff again and he said, “Chief, I would never want to hurt you on purpose.”
“Off we go. Those bruises on my chest and stomach? Well, Martinez gave those to me when we arrested him.”
“Swear? I never want to hurt you.”
“I swear, you didn’t hurt me, Martinez did.”
“Chief, would you like to sleep up here?”
“No, Jim. I want you to fuck me.”
“Oh, I’m going to fuck you all right. Did you forget who the Sentinel was? I could feel no heat off of those bruises, so I knew they were old. You showed no fear of me, so I knew I had never hurt you. But I’m going to fuck you so hard and so long tonight, you’ll wish I had.”
“Oh man, I’m hard already.”
They stripped each other and Jim began making Blair suffer. He started at his feet and sucked, kissed and lick both of them. Then he moved to ankles and calf and Blair was begging already.
By the time Jim to Blair’s balls, the poor Guide was howling. He spread his legs apart and Jim went in for a dip. Each time he licked Blair’s crack, the poor man screamed. // Blair had never had that done before. // Then Jim moved in for the kill. Slipping his tongue into Blair’s hot, tight hole, he almost came himself. He began to tongue fuck his partner like no one ever had. // Or at least he hoped. //
“Fuck me Jim. Fuck me Jim. Please give it to me now.”
“Chief, are we going to be only for each other?”
“Monogamous? Oh yeah.”
“Then since we’re both clean, can I make love to you with no condom. I’ll clean us both up afterwards.”
“Jim, I’ve never gone bare.”
“I understand.”
“No, you don’t. I love the idea. Now fuck me.”
“You got it, my royal Guide.”
“Did you hear that neighbors, he thinks I’m royalty?”
Jim laughed and he began to get his Royal Guide ready. “Chief, if this hurts, you tell me.”
“Okay.”
“I can stop at any time. I never want to hurt you.”
“Just fuck me, already.”
A smiling Jim slid in slowly. “Okay, Chief?”
“Feels tight. Feels right. Now fucking move.”
No one had to say things to Jim more than once. Okay, well sometimes. Anyway, he began to fuck Blair with a vengeance. “Chief, I’m not going to make it.”
“You’re going to die on me?” Blair asked laughing.
Jim started to laugh as he looked down at Blair’s angelic face and tried to slow down. “You’re too tight. You feel too good. You smell wonderful. God, I love you.”
Blair had been stroking his own cock as Jim talked and came with a howl. Jim pushed in four more times, hitting Blair’s pleasure spot each time, making Blair come a little more and then Jim came with a roar.
After they cooled down, Jim cleaned both of them off and held on to Blair for dear life.
“Jim, I just realized something.”
“We all realize things from time to time, Chief.”
“Shut up. I’m talking about when I came up the stairs, you were crying. So you were faking that?”
“Of course I was. I’m not a wuss. I’m not a wuss puss. I’m a tough guy and I don’t cry.” Jim tensed a little.
Blair turned away from Jim and didn’t say a word. “Chief, are you upset?”
“A little.”
“Why? Tell me why.”
“Because I’ve never had anyone cry for me. No one has ever cared enough.”
“You will not repeat this to anyone. I was crying. Because I love you and you were being mean.”
Blair jumped on top of Jim and held him as close as he could.
“Are you laughing, Chief?”
Blair lifted his face and Jim saw the tears running down. “How about we have a new rule. We can only cry together.” Jim offered.
They snuggled up close and began to fall asleep. “I love you, Jim.”
“And I love you, Blair. Did I mention how much I loved making love to you?”
“You did? I’m glad. We’ll do it again in the morning.”
Soft little snores could be heard from the loft bedroom, but they weren’t from Jim. They were from Blair. Jim found this one of the most precious things he could ever observe. And think of the teasing he could get out of it. With a large smile on his face, he drifted off to have wonderful dreams of he and Blair. Their life was beginning anew. They were in love and life was fucking good.
