Life
by Patt
“Jim, do you, like, have a big family?”
“No, Sandburg.”
“You don’t really feel like talking about them, right?” Blair asked, even more curious then he was before.
“They disowned me years ago, so I would rather not talk about them, ever,” Jim answered.
Blair looked at Jim sadly and said, “You’ve got to be kidding? You’re one of the best cops I’ve ever seen in action and they disowned you?”
“They had their reasons, Sandburg, so let’s just drop it now.”
If it were only that easy for me, Blair thought. He got up and started into the kitchen to make them each a sandwich for lunch.
Jim looked up, saw what Blair was doing and said, “I’m not really hungry, so don’t make one for me.”
“You gotta eat, Jim. You’ve been on stakeout for two days. I bet you only lived on coffee and donuts, didn’t you?”
“Since when are you my keeper?”
“Since you’re not looking out for yourself at all, someone has to. Now I want you to eat this sandwich and then we’ll run some tests today, if that’s all right with you. We haven’t done anything since we came back from the monastery.”
“It’s not all right with me. I feel like a lab rat most of the time. Can’t we just watch a movie on the television and ignore the tests for one weekend? That’s all that I’m asking. I liked the break since we’ve been back.”
“Sure, I didn’t realize you disliked the tests that much,” Blair said, softly.
“Don’t be getting all butt hurt. I’m just not in the mood. We’ll do some tomorrow, how does that sound?” Jim asked.
“That would be great. Oh wow, you ate that sandwich, fast. Good job.”
“Sandburg, I’m not a child, you don’t have to praise me for eating my lunch. Although I guess I was hungrier then I realized,” Jim said.
“Are you mad at me, man?”
“Why would I be mad at you?” Jim wondered.
“You’ve called me Sandburg all day and I just wondered if bringing up your family was a sore spot that I should have let lie.”
“I’m sorry, Chief, I didn’t even realize I was calling you Sandburg. I call you that sometimes, don’t I?”
“Of course you do, but usually in the bullpen or when you’re mad at me. Are you mad?” Blair asked once again.
“Just change the subject, Chief.”
“I can’t stand it-why would any family member sign off on you?” Blair asked.
“They didn’t fucking like me. And I didn’t care, so they wrote me off and I’ve been fucking fine ever since,” Jim swore.
“Just tell me why they wrote you off. It might be because of the senses. Maybe they misunderstood something that was said or done while you were having troubles,” Blair suggested.
“It’s the past, Blair and I don’t live in the past,” Jim said stoically.
“Tell that to someone that believes you, man. You live in the past all the time.”
“I don’t fucking care if you believe me or not!” Jim said, sounding madder by the moment.
“You do too care. You know you do. You like me, and I like you too. We’re good friends and good friends share problems,” Blair said.
“Chief, you’re missing the entire point. I don’t have any problems. My family did and I left them behind. Now, let’s drop it.”
“How many family members did you leave behind?” Blair asked.
“Jesus Christ, are you going to ever give this a rest?” Jim growled, this time.
“I just want to know why anyone would disown you. You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met in my life. I can’t believe they would do that.”
“Chief, not everyone’s life is a bed of roses,” Jim answered, sadly.
“Just tell me why and I’ll leave it at that,” Blair promised.
“Fine, if I tell you, you’re going to shut up and never bring it up again?” Jim asked.
“I promise.”
“They didn’t like my lifestyle.”
“Oh, they didn’t approve of you being a cop. Well, some people have a hard time dealing with that. Not everyone thinks you’re a good person because of what you do for a living,” Blair said, helpfully, hoping it would bring Jim out of his funk.
“Chief, I mean they didn’t like it that I was bisexual.”
“Oh holy shit-color me stupid.”
“Now, you promised you would drop it.”
“I don’t have much family myself. Just my mom and you wouldn’t like her, I can tell you that.”
“How do you know?” Jim asked.
“She wouldn’t like your first lifestyle,” Blair said, wearing a big smile on his face.
“She’s not fond of cops?”
“You could say that,” Blair answered.
“Well, I guess we’ll spend holidays together, since neither of us seems to have any family to speak of,” Jim said.
“You know, Thanksgiving is coming up. We could spend it together if you’d like,” Blair offered.
“That would be nice, Chief. I would like that a lot.”
“I need to know how much family you’re leaving behind. Just for my notes,” Blair said.
“I have grandparents, a father, a mother and a brother. My mother remarried and has a daughter and she doesn’t like me either. My mom does keep in touch with me when she can, but she doesn’t want anyone else to find out. She’s not too crazy about me either. The rest of them said they never wanted to see me again.” Jim looked somewhat sad as he talked.
“It’s their loss, man. And someday, you just never know. They may need you for something and they might come to you and you’ll have to decide if you can forgive them or not,” Blair commented.
“I don’t think I need them, Chief.”
“Everyone needs some family, Jim.”
“Then you’ll be my new family, just you and Simon. It would be nice to have the two of you to fall back on, in a pinch.”
“Back to the bisexual remark-I need to know a few things,” Blair asked.
“I knew you weren’t going to let it drop. I just knew it. It was too good to be true.”
Blair smiled. “So since I’ve moved in, I’ve never seen you date a guy. Is it because of me?”
“Partly, Chief, now let’s drop it, and I mean it this time.”
“Man, I can’t believe you think I would think less of you because you date men,” Blair said, unhappily.
“I never said I thought you would. I just don’t feel comfortable flaunting my sexuality in anyone’s face. My family found out purely by accident. Now you know, so if I want to date a guy, I will.”
“Good, I don’t want to cramp your style,” Blair said, smiling once more.
“I have to tell you, I’m a little shocked that you’re taking it so well,” Jim said, casually.
Blair sighed and said, “I’m bisexual too. So it’s not a big deal to me.”
“You are not.”
“I am so. If anyone should know, it should be you.” Blair pointed out.
“I’ve never smelled a man on you.” Jim crossed his arms over his chest and waited for Blair’s answer.
“Of course you didn’t. I didn’t know you would accept my life style, so I just stayed with women. I like women,” Blair admitted.
“I do too, sometimes. But I like men more.” Jim walked in and grabbed a beer for both of them. He walked back into the living room and handed one to Blair.
“Thanks man, it’s five o’clock somewhere in the world, right?” Blair teased.
“You don’t drink at all during the day?” Jim asked.
“There usually isn’t a need to. I relax with meditation. I could teach you, Jim. How would you like that?”
“I think that would be acceptable.”
“Good, we’ll start this evening. I’m glad we had this talk. I’m going to feel a lot more at ease with you now. To tell you the truth, it was making me a little nervous not telling you about me,” Blair said.
“I’m glad we had the talk too. I think I might ask someone out this weekend since we’re out in the open. I really like him and I would like to see if we click,” Jim said.
“Oh man, who is it? Anyone I know?”
“I don’t think you know him. He’s a cop from the one-five and his name is Bradley Smith,” Jim divulged.
“Bradley Smith? You’re joking, right?” Blair asked.
“What’s wrong with Bradley Smith?” Jim questioned.
“Nothing that I know of, but man, he’s so short. Just doesn’t seem your type at all. He has that long hair that I figured would bother you and he just doesn’t seem your type,” Blair said, as calmly as he could.
“Well, he is my type and I’m going to ask him out,” Jim stated.
“You like short guys with long hair that are sort of nerdy?” Blair asked.
“You have a problem with that?” Jim asked.
“Not really a problem, but if you date guys like that, why aren’t I your first choice?” Blair said sounding somewhat pissed off.
“Chief, we can’t date. We work together,” Jim said.
“Big deal. I know a lot of people that work together and have a dating life too. You just don’t like me, right?” Blair wondered.
“Chief, I like you a lot, and that’s one reason I don’t want to date you. I’m a lousy fucking date.”
“So you’re going to push yourself on Bradley, knowing you’re a lousy date?”
“Fine, you know what, Sandburg, I won’t ask him out and I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. Would that make you happier?”
“Oh Ellison, you are such a drama llama.”
“Drama llama?” Jim barked.
“Yes, my friend at Rainier calls me that when I get too overly dramatic from time to time. This was one of those times for you. If you don’t want to date me, just say I’m not your type, but don’t blame it on working together.”
Jim ran his large hand across his weary face and said, “You might be my type, but I’m afraid.”
Blair stopped being a drama llama himself so he could actually listen to Jim for a change. “What are you afraid of?”
“You’re my only family now, Chief. If it doesn’t work out I would have no one.”
“You would always have Simon, man,” Blair said, in a teasing tone.
“I know, but it’s not the same as having you around,” Jim said softly.
“You like me, right?”
“I like you a lot, Chief.”
“Then I say we try dating first and go from there,” Blair suggested.
“Go where?”
“You know, having sex and all that stuff,” Blair said, blushing.
“Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?” Jim asked, smiling.
“I would love to go out with you, Jim. Where did you want to go?”
“Do you like Claim Jumper?”
“Jim, who doesn’t like Claim Jumper?”
“Okay, we’ll leave in thirty minutes. This is going to be fun, Chief. I can tell already.”
“I think so too.” Blair walked off into his bedroom to get ready for Claim Jumper and Jim. He wanted to look nice, so he got a pair of ‘Dockers’ out and put them on his bed. Then he found a really nice polo shirt and looked at it long and hard. Do I really want him to think I’m that big a nerd? He calmed himself down and started to get dressed. He realized that Jim wouldn’t care what he wore. Jim just wanted him to be interested in him, not what he wore. Although Blair hoped Jim wore ‘Dockers’ and a polo shirt because it made Jim look hot as hell.
&&&&&
Jim was upstairs doing much the same thing as Blair. He didn’t want to look like a nerd, but he also wanted to look nice for their first date. Finally Jim called down over the railing by his bed, “Chief, do you care if I wear a polo shirt?”
“We’ll both wear one, how does that sound?” Blair called back.
“Perfect.” Jim went back to getting ready. He really liked the idea of a first date with Blair. Blair was everything a person would need. He was smart, good looking, sweet, hopefully sexy and an all around nice guy. Everyone liked Blair, so that was also great.
Jim’s family might have disowned him, but for once Jim was actually glad. He wouldn’t have come to this point in his life if it hadn’t have been for that. Sometimes family problems work out in the strangest ways. Jim no longer cared if his relatives liked him or not. He really didn’t need them at all. Blair had given him a new lease on life. And in this new life, he was going to have not only a best friend, but a new lover as well. Jim found himself whistling while he tied his shoes and walked down the stairs.
Blair walked out of his room and saw Jim smile at him and asked, “Too nerdy?”
“You look very hot. I wouldn’t have you change a thing.”
“Are you ready for the first day of the rest of our life?” Blair asked.
“I am,” Jim answered and took hold of Blair’s hand in his and walked out the front door.
And so the journey began.
The end
