Summary: Jim thinks that he and Blair are in love. Blair doesn’t agree. Or at least he doesn’t think he does.
Artist: Flitterflutterandfly or better known to me as Flitter.
Lies
By Patt
As Jim walked towards the break room he heard Blair tell Connor, “Nah, I’m not in love with him. But he’s, you know, good where it counts.”
“Sandy, that’s a horrible thing to say. You know you love him.”
“It’s not like that with us. We’re guys. We don’t get all emotionally involved like chicks do,” Blair laughed.
Jim turned around and walked back to his desk. The problem with what Blair said was that he did love Blair. Jim guessed that meant he must be the chick of the relationship. They hadn’t said anything about it, but Jim had hoped to tell Blair soon, because he wanted him to know. Now he was glad he had overheard what was said in the break room so he didn’t make a complete fool of himself. He had done that once before in a relationship and it was not only heartbreaking but embarrassing. Jim didn’t want to experience that terrible ordeal again.
But at the same time Jim found himself very disappointed, because he’d thought he had a future with Blair. Now it seemed that Blair was just his fuck buddy.
Blair sauntered into the bullpen carrying coffee for Jim. “Here you go, man, I figured you might need some of this sludge.”
“No, thanks,” Jim answered, coldly.
Blair sat down at his desk and asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
“I don’t know. What’s wrong with me?” Jim mimicked.
“Jim? You’re not making any sense. What happened? Is it something with your senses?”
Jim looked at the concerned man across from him and realized that everything about them was a lie. Blair didn’t love Jim-he only cared about the Sentinel studies. Jim was suddenly very sure of this.
Jim got up, whispered, “It’s nothing to do with my senses. Not everything involves my senses.” Jim then walked over to Simon’s door and knocked.
“Come in, Ellison,” barked Simon.
“Sir, I’m not feeling too well, do you mind if I take off for the day?” Jim asked.
“Sure, take the kid and go home for the day. It’s slow today anyhow.”
“I’ll leave him here to do paper work. We’re a little behind on that. He can catch up while I rest,” Jim suggested.
“You’re mad at him about something, am I right?” Simon asked.
“You could say that,” Jim answered.
“Do I want to know about this?” Simon wondered.
“I don’t think so, sir.”
“Holy crap, that’s two sirs in one day. Get lost. I’ll put the kid to work and keep him out of your hair,” Simon said.
“Thank you,” Jim said as he walked out of the room.
Simon stood in his doorway and said, “Sandburg, my office, now.”
Blair started in there but not before he saw Jim get on the elevator carrying his jacket. What the fuck did I miss?
“Hey Simon, what’s going on with Jim?” Blair asked as he walked into Simon’s office smiling.
“He wants to be alone, kid. Now, I’d like you to try and catch up on some of the paperwork that sitting on Jim’s desk. Are you up for it?” Simon asked.
“Of course I’m up for it, Simon. Paperwork is a breeze for me. What’s wrong with Jim?” Blair inquired.
“Hell if I know, but I know someone that needs to worry less about Jim and more about paperwork.”
Simon opened his door and Blair walked out, looking very confused.
Jim walked down to the garage in the station and dejectedly got into his truck. On one hand he felt bad for leaving Blair without saying a word, but on the other hand he felt that it was best left unsaid. Jim realized that might have been part of the big problem. He knew that a portion of it was his fault, but a lot of it was Blair not being in love with him. Jim wasn’t sure how to handle that. He adored the man, yet Blair didn’t feel anything for Jim? This left Jim depressed and in despair.
Back in the bullpen, Connor walked up to Blair and said, “What’s going on, Sandy? Where is Jimbo?”
“You’ve got me. He left without a word to me. He told Simon he didn’t feel well and left me to do the paperwork. That’s about typical, isn’t it?” Blair asked, quite disgusted with Jim at the moment.
“What if he heard what you said in the break room, Sandy?” Connor whispered.
“So? He’s a guy, Connor. He would be the first to agree with me. We don’t let all of that drama get into our lives. I’ve been with him for two months and I don’t have to worry about telling him where I am or who I’m with. It’s great. It’s like a totally open relationship. Did it ever occur to you that it might be the job? Not everything is about us.”
Blair sat down and started working on some of the paperwork and Connor just glared at him. She sat down next to him and whispered, “You’re not exclusive?”
“No, we haven’t even discussed that. That’s why it’s great to be with a guy. We don’t worry about that shit,” Blair said quietly.
“I think one of you is a grommer and the other one is in shock right now. I feel so bad for him. I never thought I would say this, but you’re a drongo,” Connor said, loudly and stormed off.
Rafe started laughing and said, “Wow, she usually reserves that name for me or Henri. What did you do, Hairboy?”
“I was just being one of the guys. She took offense to that, I guess. Women-you can never understand them,” Blair muttered as he continued to work on the pile of papers on Jim’s desk.
Rafe and Henri talked about how great it was to be a guy for about an hour, while Blair tried to figure out what was wrong with Jim.
Blair began to wonder if there was something wrong with his senses and he hadn’t wanted to share it with him. But that would make no sense-Blair being the Guide and all. Maybe it was something happening at work. Blair would have to ask him. He no sooner was thinking about calling Jim when the phone rang.
“Sandburg,” he said quickly.
“Sandburg, I’m going to be gone for a few days, so I was wondering if you could please find another place to live while I’m gone,” Jim said as casually as his broken heart allowed.
“What the hell are you talking about? Where are you going?” Blair asked.
“It doesn’t matter, just be gone when I get back. I’m going to be back in three days, so please don’t make a scene. I found someone that is special and I want to share my life with her.”
“Jim, you know that’s not what’s going on. Why aren’t you sharing your problems with me?” Blair stated loudly. Instead of answering, Jim hung up. Blair looked at the phone for a moment then, realizing that everyone in the bullpen was staring at him, he, too, hung the phone up, walked over to Simon’s office and knocked.
“Come in, Sandburg,” Simon barked.
“Simon, did Jim just call you and ask for time off?” Blair asked.
“As a matter of fact, he did. He’s taking three days. He didn’t sound really happy with you, so I’d stay clear of him for the next few days,” Simon suggested.
“Hell, I’m going to be clear. He wants me to move out! It’s been four years and he wants me to leave! Do you believe it?”
“It’s probably time, then, Sandburg.”
Blair opened up his mouth, ready to say something smart, but decided to shut it instead. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m going to take off and try and find a place to live.”
“There’s an apartment in the building down the street from where I live. Daryl was going to look into it, but it was too much money with him starting college,” Simon stated.
“I’ll come by and look at the place. I can’t afford much either. One nice thing about the loft, it was cheap.”
“It’s time, Sandburg. Move on, so Jim can move on too,” Simon said gently as he walked Blair to the door.
Blair went and cleaned up the mess he had made on Jim’s desk and then got everything put into his backpack and prepared to leave for the day.
Connor walked by and said, “Trouble in paradise?”
“Oh fuck off, Connor,” Blair growled.
“You fuck off. You screwed up. Stop blaming everyone else but yourself. You’re an ass, a selfish ass at that,” Connor said before she walked away from him.
He didn’t bother to argue with her. He was afraid that she might be right, although he was far from sure just what he had done.
On the way home, he had plenty of time to think about things while stuck in traffic. He thought about that wild night two months before and smiled at the thought of Jim taking him up to his big bed for the first time. He remembered that both of them were nervous, but yet excited as all get out. There really had been no discussion at all about if they would see anyone else or if they were exclusive. Blair hadn’t thought they were that serious, but now he wondered about it and needed to put some deep thought into it.
Jim had never said anything after they were done messing around, so what was Blair to think? Jim actually didn’t seem that into Blair other than in bed, so why now was Jim suddenly acting as if his virtue had been assaulted? In fact, at first, Blair had thought it might just be a one night thing. He was surprised when Jim asked him to go up to his bed for the next two months. Little by little, Blair had moved a few of his things up to Jim’s room. Jim didn’t seem to mind, but again, didn’t say anything about it, so Blair really didn’t think they were all that permanent.
The traffic started flowing and Blair listened to the music on the radio instead of thinking. Thinking was troubling sometimes and he wasn’t in the mood for it. The music eased his worried mind and helped distract him from his doubts about Jim.
That night, as Blair was going through the newspaper trying to find something affordable, Jim walked into the loft.
“I thought you were staying away for three days?” Blair asked.
“I am. I needed some more clothes. Any luck with an apartment?” Jim asked.
“No…It’s impossible to find something on my budget. Jim, can’t we just take things back to the way they were? I’ll stay in the small room and pay you rent that I can afford,” Blair pleaded.
Jim looked at Blair and had to stop and think for a moment. Would he be doing the right thing in letting Blair stay in the small room or would it be only to have his Guide close by? He didn’t want to appear too needy, but at the same time, he really felt as if he was. Would this win Blair’s love? It was all something Jim needed to think about, but he knew he didn’t have the time to work it out right then. Jim decided that he would settle for having his Guide close to him for the time being.
“Fine, move everything back into your old room and I don’t want anything said about how small it is in there,” Jim agreed.
“Thank you, man.” Blair let out a loud sigh, that he was holding and started carrying everything down from Jim’s room, to his own room. He was reluctant to leave the big bed behind. But he knew better then to say anything. He noticed that Jim was watching television and not leaving. He was heartened. Blair liked hanging out with Jim. What was not to like about Jim Ellison? He looked like a model, he was the best friend in the world and Blair couldn’t help but think about one day getting back into that large bed.
Once he was done, he joined Jim on the sofa and slid closer, put his arm around Jim’s shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss. Jim jerked back from him and asked, “What the fuck are you doing?”
“I felt like kissing you, is that a problem?” Blair asked huskily.
Jim frowned and then just looked confused. “Chief, I asked you to move out of my room, because I don’t want you in my bed anymore.”
“You’re joking, right? We love fucking around. We both do it so well.” Blair winked, as if that would help.
“Well, I want more of an attachment than you’re willing to give,” Jim said suddenly deciding on honesty.
This time, Blair pulled away from Jim. “You did hear me say that about guys today. What’s the deal Jim? You were fine fucking my ass every night for the last two months and now you don’t want to anymore?”
“Blair,” Jim sighed, “I want more from a relationship than just fucking someone’s ass.”
“Oh. My. God. You’ve turned into a woman.”
“Fuck you, Sandburg,” Jim growled, loudly.
“No, fuck you, Ellison.” Blair stormed off into his little room and slammed the door shut.
How dare Jim pull this crap after two months of bliss? Everything had been perfect! No one had to say they loved anyone! No one had to say they weren’t going to date anyone else! Perfect!
Then why did Blair suddenly feel like shit and want to yell at someone?
Once again, Jim wondered why he was putting up with Blair and his attitude. Could it be that he hoped that Blair would come around to his way of thinking? Of was Jim just lonely enough to allow Blair to walk all over him?
The following morning, Blair was making toast and coffee and Jim came down the stairs, still wearing his robe.
“Why aren’t you ready for work?” Blair asked.
“I have three days off. See you tonight,” Jim said as he walked into the bathroom and started to strip for a shower.
Blair stood there with a hard on from just seeing Jim with his hair tousled and needing a shave. Jim was a total turn-on all the time. Why did Jim have to go and ruin everything? He was so tempted to bust into the bathroom and yell at Jim, just so he could see his naked body once again, but he knew it wouldn’t work. Jim was being a hard ass.
Blair got his things and left for the University. He would stop by the bullpen for a couple of hours that night to finish off some paperwork.
That afternoon, Blair was sitting at Jim’s desk working on reports when Brown walked up and said, “Hey Hairboy, how are you doing?”
“Dandy,” Blair grunted.
“We hate paperwork too. How would you like to go out for a drink with me, Rafe and Connor after work? Joel might come too,” Henri asked.
Blair brightened up at the offer. “Yeah, I would like to. Thanks. When are we going?”
“In about five minutes. Is it still good for you?” Brown asked.
“I’ll be ready,” Blair answered and started cleaning up Jim’s desk. Just because Jim was being a butthead didn’t mean that Blair couldn’t go out and have a good time.
Joel, Henri, Rafe, Connor and Blair all sat at a table at O’Malley’s Pub and ordered their first set of drinks. Connor was the designated driver, so she was having soda.
Blair ordered a beer with a B52 chaser.
Henri smiled and said, “The beer doesn’t work fast enough?”
“I just feel like getting drunk, Henri. Do you have a problem with that?”
“No, but you will tomorrow.”
They all laughed, but Blair. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Blair wanted to get laid and doing that with work friends wouldn’t work out so well.
The waitress brought back the drinks and Blair asked for her phone number. She gave it to him and smiled.
“Wow, I must be totally out of it. I thought maybe you and Jim were an item,” Joel teased. Joel had thought they looked like couple material on more than one occasion, but he guessed he was wrong about that. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Nope, not us,” Blair answered.
Connor just sat across the table and glared at Blair. Blair glared right back at her. He figured two could play at that game. Nothing was going to ruin his night of getting a number in five minutes.
“I wonder how Ellison is today,” Connor said.
“Simon told me he was pretty sick and needed three days off. Blair, why aren’t you home checking on him?” Joel knew that they were good enough friends for at least that much courtesy.
“Jim’s a big boy-he knows how to take care of himself, Joel.”
“All right, what’s going on with you and Jim?” Joel asked.
“Nothing, absolutely nothing,” Blair replied.
Rafe said, “Jim didn’t seem that sick when he went home yesterday. I wonder what’s wrong.”
“Oh yes, I wonder,” Connor said very sarcastically.
Everyone looked at her. “Okay, Connor, spill the beans. What’s wrong with Jim?”
“All I know is he was dating someone who fucked with his head. I think he’s having a hard time coming around,” Connor said.
“Who was he dating? I’d like to give her a piece of my mind. Jim is a good dude,” Brown said.
Blair said, “It’s none of our business who he was dating, am I right?”
Joel looked thoughtful for a moment and said, “Normally I would say it’s none of anyone’s business, but we’re talking about a good friend here.”
Connor said, “He mentioned something about being in love, but the ‘object of his affection’ just thought he was good in bed. That must have hurt.” She couldn’t help but give a cold stare in Blair’s direction.
“Wow, I can’t believe anyone would get that impression from Jim. He seems more serious than that,” Joel said.
“Hey, if you want to just fuck around and enjoy it, there is nothing wrong with that,” Rafe said.
“I agree with Rafe,” Blair said quickly.
This evening wasn’t turning into the evening he thought it would be. He hoped they moved on and got onto another subject soon.
“Some day, you both might find someone nice and want to settle down. What if they had that same feeling about you?” Joel asked.
Before either of them could answer, Connor said, “Yeah, I agree with Joel. I hope that Jim finds someone that can love him like a normal person should.”
Rafe was getting angry. “Hey, you don’t have to be in love to fuck.”
Blair smiled. “I couldn’t agree with you more.”
Joel looked totally disgusted and said, “Well, I imagine that’s true. But right now, Jim is trying to get over loving someone that didn’t love him back. He probably feels like he was used for sex the entire time. That couldn’t be a good feeling.”
Rafe said, “Joel, you’re old. Old people think you have to be in love to fuck. Young people like me and Sandburg know that you can fuck anyone without loving them, right Sandburg?”
“Right.”
“Sandy, you do realize you’re agreeing with the pig, don’t you?” Connor asked.
“Hey, who are you calling a pig?” Rafe asked, laughing.
“Well, for a change he’s right. You don’t have to be in love to sleep with someone,” Blair added.
“Okay, then let me ask all of you this. Let’s say you’ve been seeing the same person for two months, wouldn’t you think the other person would think it might be serious?” Connor asked.
“Two months? I would think that was very serious,” Joel agreed.
Brown said, “I think that he had every right to think it was serious. I can’t believe he was dating someone for two months and she just dumped him.”
“Who said anyone dumped him?” Blair asked.
“Well, if he’s sick and depressed, he must have gotten dumped,” Joel said.
“Maybe he did the dumping, did you ever think about that?” Blair snapped.
Connor almost laughed at how pissed off Sandy was getting and said, “Maybe when Jim found out how the other person felt he dumped him.”
“Him?” Joel asked, astonished.
“Yeah, what Joel said,” Brown said, with a twinkle in his eyes.
Rafe looked stunned and said, “I can’t believe Jim Ellison would date a dude. No wonder the guy he was dating was cold. Gay dudes don’t feel anything. Why would Jim think it would be any different?”
Blair just sat there with his mouth open. He was shocked at Rafe’s remark. Yet, isn’t that how he had made Jim feel? Maybe he felt the same way Rafe did, God forbid.
Joel said, “I know many gay men and they love just like we do. So that was a horrible thing to say.”
Rafe huffed, “The ones I know, are only in it for the sex. They might date a guy for two months but only because it was easier then finding another hole.”
Connor was shocked. “A hole? You are an insensitive asshole is what you are. I know quite a few gay men and they don’t feel this way at all.”
Blair was very quiet for a change and Connor noticed.
Brown said, “Rafe, I think you’re an idiot.”
“Hey, I’m just calling things like they really are. I’m being truthful here.”
“Sandy, do you still agree with Rafe on his opinion?” Connor needed to know why he had shut up.
“I don’t know how I feel about this. I thought we were going to have fun tonight,” Blair said, “I didn’t know we were going to have a discourse on the sexual ethics of the gay community.”
“We were concerned about a friend. I thought he was your friend too,” Joel said, wisely.
“You know what I think?” Connor interjected.
Blair just glared at her and said, “I’m sure you’ll tell us.”
Connor laughed. “I think that anyone that stays with someone for two months is going to feel something for the other person and if someone asked him about it, maybe he felt like he had to lie. Maybe he thought that’s how life worked. Maybe he didn’t know that he might love Jim too. Maybe he still doesn’t know how he feels.”
Blair said, “Maybe you’re right.”
Rafe laughed really loudly and said, “She’s not right. The guy just didn’t love him. I don’t know why Jim thought he would. Jim is a sucker if he fell in love with a gay dude, because I’m telling you, they don’t love anyone but who they are going to fuck next.”
“How do you know this?” Joel asked, angry once more.
“I have a brother who is gay and he’s an idiot. He keeps falling for someone and they keep dumping him because they don’t want love. They just want a hole to fill.”
Everyone moaned at Rafe’s comment.
Brown said, “Is anyone else as surprised as me that Jim likes guys?”
Connor answered, “He just liked one guy. Not guys. It wasn’t his fault that it was the wrong one to fall in love with. He’ll probably never try it again. Ellison doesn’t remind me of a person that can take too much rejection. He’ll probably go back to dating women, although there is still rejection with them too.”
Blair had enough, “You know what? I’m going to go home. I’m more tired than I realized.” He stood up and so did Connor. “What are you doing, Connor?”
“I’m the designated driver. I’m driving,” she answered.
“I only had one drink, Connor, I think I’m fine.”
“Shut up and get in my car,” Connor ordered.
Joel laughed. “Better do what she says, son. She’s got a temper.”
Blair said his goodbyes and walked out to the parking lot and got into Connor’s car.
They were driving and Blair asked, “Is that what you think I did to Jim?”
“What?” Connor asked.
“Treated him like he was just some hole?” Blair asked.
“Yes and he thinks that too. But it doesn’t matter. It’s over and done with. Jim will come around. You’ll both get over everything and things will be back to normal.”
“He won’t let me kiss him anymore,” Blair said, sadly.
“Would you kiss someone that broke up with you?”
“I just didn’t think that he meant we could never do the deed again,” Blair said, softly.
“I guess he felt differently,” Connor answered gently.
“Do you think he was in love with me?”
“Duh. Do you really think I need to answer you on that one, Sandy?”
“Do you think we’ll be able to be best friends anymore?” Blair asked.
“Probably not. Every time he looks at you, he’s going to remember that you don’t love him. He might even find it embarrassing.”
“This sucks, Connor. I fucked up the best friendship in the world, just so I could have great sex for two months. Rafe is right.”
“You didn’t feel anything for him at all, then, I would take it?”
“Happiness. I loved being with him. We had an open relationship, but he kept me so satisfied that I never thought about going elsewhere,” Blair admitted.
“Did you ever discuss the open relationship? Did he know you weren’t exclusive?” Connor asked, simply.
“We didn’t discuss it, I just took it for granted that we were in an open relationship since it was new to us both and I would guess he assumed the opposite. Now, I wish we had discussed it.”
“Sandy, he’s in love with you, he never would have brought it up because he believed you loved him too. I’m glad that you didn’t lie to him and just tell him you loved him so that you could get what you wanted. I have to give you credit for being truthful at least.”
“Thanks, I guess. But now, I not only have no sex partner, but no best friend….. He did tell me that I could stay in my old room.”
“Sandy, that’s probably not a good idea. He’s going to be in pain every time he sees you. He loves you and now he knows you don’t love him. I’m talking big time pain.”
“I not only lost the sex, I lost my best friend and now you tell me I need to move?” Blair asked, sadly.
“It’s time, Sandy. Jim needs to heal and he can’t do it looking at you every day.”
“But I’m his Guide. He has to look at me every day,” Blair explained.
“Maybe you could show me the ropes and I could Guide him. What do you think?” Connor asked.
“Basically, I lose everything?”
“Yes.”
“Life sucks,” Blair stated.
“Yes, real life does suck.”
Connor pulled into the loft parking lot and stopped the car. Blair got out and said, “Thanks for the ride. I’ll talk to you tomorrow or something.”
“Night, Sandy. Try and get some sleep.” She waited for him to get inside the building and then drove off. As she drove she wondered if they would talk things out and discuss things like mature people do. She wished them the best and hoped that their future wasn’t etched in stone already.
Jim was sitting on the sofa watching M.A.S.H. He looked up when Blair walked in. “I didn’t hear your car.”
“I had a drink at the bar and ‘designated driver’, Connor, wouldn’t let me drive. I was fine, but she wouldn’t listen.”
“Did you have a good time?” Jim asked, politely.
“Not really. Listen, I wonder if I could talk to you for a few minutes,” Blair said quickly.
“Sure, what’s up?” Jim said trying to sound like the friend he used to be.
“Connor pointed out that I’ve been taking advantage of you. She thinks I should look for a new place to live. Do you agree?”
“If you don’t want to live here, that’s fine with me.”
“Jim, would you feel better if I didn’t live here anymore?”
“Honestly, I think so.” Jim spoke quickly as to not lose control of himself or the situation. His stony face giving nothing away. “I’m having a hard time, Blair.”
“Connor was right. She thought you were too. She also said that she would consider being your Guide from here on in,” Blair said.
“I don’t think that’s necessary, do you?” Jim asked fearfully, hoping he wasn’t going to lose everything.
“I could still be your Guide?” Blair asked hopefully.
“Why don’t we wait a month and see how we’re both doing? Then we can discuss whatever comes up,” Jim suggested.
“Do you still want me to move out?” Blair asked.
“I think moving out might be a good idea, but we don’t need to talk about getting a new Guide at all,” Jim stated as calmly as he could.
“Understood,” Blair answered.
“Is there anything else you want to discuss with me?” Jim wondered.
“No. I’m going to bed. See you in the morning.”
“Night, Chief.”
Blair got ready for bed in the bathroom and then climbed into his cold bed and, not for the first time, wondered when things had gone to hell.
Jim woke up at 3:00 a.m and listened to the noises in the loft. There it was-a sniffle and a shaky breath following close behind. Blair was upset about something. Jim didn’t know if he should go down or not. He felt that he should, as his friend, but what if it had to do with breaking up? Then he shouldn’t be down there. Jim was still trying to figure out what to do, when Blair began to weep. As he listened further, the weeping intensified.
Jim jumped out of bed, pulled his sweats on and walked down the stairs as quickly as he could. He opened Blair’s door and went to his side immediately. Jim sat on the edge of the futon. “Blair? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want Connor to be your new Guide.”
“I told you that I don’t need a new Guide,” Jim assured him.
“I want you to still like me. You’re not my friend anymore and I can’t stand the thought of losing you as a friend,” Blair whispered.
“Blair. We’re still friends. I still like you. Okay? Don’t worry about it.”
“C’mon, Jim, you don’t need to lie. You don’t like me anymore. I can feel it.”
“Then you’re not feeling correctly, because I like you as a person very much.”
“Do you promise you’re not just humoring me, Jim?”
“I promise.”
“Oh God, I fucked up so bad. I don’t want to move. I know I should, but I don’t want to leave the place I call home.”
“Then stay here. This is your home, Blair. It always will be.”
“God, Jim, you’re such a good man and I was so thoughtless when it came to you.”
Blair had finally stopped crying and Jim felt like he could leave the room soon. “Chief, do you feel like you’re okay now?”
“Yes. I’m better now. Thanks, Jim.”
“I’m going to go back to bed and try and get some sleep. See you in the morning.”
Blair held Jim’s hand for a moment and Blair felt Jim shaking. “Why are you shaking, Jim?”
“I have no idea,” the somber man answered.
“Oh God, you’re upset. I’m only thinking of me again. I’m so sorry, Jim. I have fucked up in so many ways it isn’t even funny.” Blair continued to hold Jim’s hand and Jim tried to pull away a couple of times, but Blair didn’t let him.
“Blair, I think it’s a good idea if we both get some rest now.”
“I’m here for you too, Jim. Talk to me.”
“Talk to you about what?” Jim asked.
“What’s bothering you? Right this moment?”
“I can’t believe you’re hurting and I can’t hold you in my arms anymore,” Jim confessed.
“You can hold me. Friends hold on to each other sometimes.”
“It wouldn’t be as a friend, Chief. I’m sorry. Now I need to go to bed.”
Blair still had a hold of Jim’s hand. “Tell me what you liked most about being with me.”
“Why? It’s not like it’ll make anything better. In fact, it might make things worse. I say we both get some sleep and be done with it.”
“Tell me what you liked most about being with me,” Blair insisted.
Jim thought about it for a moment and wondered how much he could say to Blair. How much was enough and how did he know if he was pushing it too far? Do I really want to be hurt again? Do I have the strength to pull through this on my own? I might as well tell him what I thought about him, what more could happen?
“I liked when you held me close afterwards and would kiss my cheek and neck. I felt loved and needed from that simple thing. It gave me hope that we would be able to tackle just about anything. You gave me strength when I needed it and took over when I felt weak.”
Blair held Jim’s hand just a little tighter. “Jim, why didn’t you tell me that you felt this way with me?”
“Would it have made a difference?” Jim wondered softly.
“It might have, I’m not sure. Maybe if we had talked about things more, we wouldn’t be in the place we are now.”
“Blair, I wanted to tell you how much I loved you from the start. I’ve been in love with you since we met. I held back because I’ve done this before and was dumped immediately. A lot of guys don’t get into the love factor. I was afraid and didn’t want to lose you. So I stayed quiet about it.”
“I didn’t think two guys ever got into what you call the love factor, so I would have been confused if you’d told me you loved me. No one has ever said they really loved me. I’m not sure I would have known what to do with it. How much did you love me?”
“I still love you. I love you so much that I was willing to give you up to make things better for us. I don’t want to lose you as a friend, you’re my best friend. I didn’t want you to move, because this is your home, too. I do not and will not take a new Guide. You’ll be my Guide until the day one of us dies.”
Blair pulled Jim onto the futon with him and Jim said, “No.”
“Hush, I want to talk to you.”
“What?” Jim asked, hopefully.
“I think I might be in love with you. I’ve never had such pain with a break-up in my life. I miss you all the time. I long for your touch and your voice. At first, I thought it made me weak, but now I see I’m just in love. Jim, I don’t think I have ever truly been in love before. Hell, I didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t even know we were exclusive, but yet, I slept with no one else. I tried to tell myself the reason for that was the fact that you just kept me too satisfied. But now I realize it was because I didn’t want to be with anyone else. I didn’t want to talk to just anyone. I didn’t want to be held by just anyone and I certainly didn’t want to be made love to by just anyone. As I said before, I think I’m in love. What do you think?”
Jim smiled at Blair for the first time in days. He pulled Blair into a tight hug and said, “I’m glad to hear this. I love you, too.”
“I know you do. But this time, we’re having a talk. I want to be exclusive. Do you mind?” Blair asked.
“Exclusive works better for me than anything.”
“I’d sort of like to be out, what do you think of that?” Blair asked.
“I think that our friends and relatives should know about us. That might have been part of the problem. We acted like it was some dirty secret or something. I’m fine with being out, Blair.”
“Will you let me go every time I make you angry?”
“No, I’m going to hold on to you forever, Chief.”
“Promise?”
“I promise to never leave you and to stay with you even when you make me insane. How does that sound?” Jim asked.
Blair kissed Jim and hugged him close. “I adore you and I never want to be without you again.”
“But if something did happen, Blair, we have to know that we’ll still be friends.”
“Please don’t let anything ever happen,” Blair pleaded.
“I’ll try,” Jim agreed.
“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Blair asked.
“Our bed, Chief. Everything is ours now.”
They got off of the futon and walked upstairs, holding hands. Blair lay down on the bed and asked, “How do you think Simon will take it?”
“We’re going to tell everyone on Poker night. So if they don’t like it, they can leave, how does that sound?” Jim asked.
“I know that Connor will take it well, because she already knows and hated my guts for hurting you. She might call you Jimbo to irritate you, but you’re one of her best mates.”
“I love Connor as a good, good friend. I think she, Simon, Joel and Henri will all take it well and say good things. But I think that Rafe will have a problem. He’s got a brother who is gay and he thinks he’s weak. So chances are, he’s going to see that in us too,” Jim said.
“Are we being totally truthful here?” Blair asked.
Jim turned on his side and put his arm under his head to watch his lover. “What do you think?”
“I better tell you that I said some horrible things tonight at the pub. I was an insecure asshole and agreed with things that Rafe said.”
“Oh for crying out loud, Chief, you should have known better then to agree with anything he said. Now he’s going to think he has something on both of us. Rafe’s a dick. There is no better word for him. He might even give us trouble,” Jim said.
“Jim, I would like to tell all of our friends, myself. In private, of course.”
“Whatever works for you, works for me, now I have a question for you,” Jim said.
“Shoot, big guy,” Blair said smiling back at his lover.
“In the two months we’ve been together, you have never asked to fuck me. I just wondered if there was something bothering you about it, or what. Does the idea not appeal to you?”
“You would let me fuck you?”
Jim smiled and said, “Did you think I thought I was special or something?”
“I just thought you were a top and I didn’t want to bring it up.”
Jim moved closer to Blair and whispered, “So would you like to try it tonight?”
“Jim, normally I would say, hell yes, but I’m still upset and I’d rather just lie in your arms until we fall asleep. What do you think of that?”
Jim put his arm around Blair and said, “That sounds like heaven. Let me get us covered up and then we’ll get a couple of hours sleep before it’s time to get up.”
Jim kissed Blair and said, “Goodnight, Blair, I love you.”
Blair kissed Jim back and said, “And I love you.”
Before long Jim could tell Blair was falling asleep and he was so grateful to have Blair in his arms for another night. If things worked out, he’d be there forever. If they didn’t, then Jim would have to take it one day at a time. At least he knew there would be no more lies.
A sleepy Blair kissed Jim’s neck and said, “You can sleep restfully, Jim. I’m not going anywhere.”
Within moments Jim was asleep and Blair was smiling into his neck this time. He snuggled a little closer and then he followed Jim into sleep.
Chapter 2
When Blair woke up the next morning, he was instantly hard knowing what Jim was going to let him do. He rushed down the stairs to take care of some business before he woke Jim up.
As Blair got back into bed, Jim stirred and opened his eyes and looked into the bright blue eyes of a wide-awake Blair. “Anxious, much, Chief?”
“I can’t believe you’re going to let me have my wicked, wicked way with you this morning,” Blair said softly as he began to kiss Jim.
Jim pulled away from him and said, “I need to run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
Blair could only smile. He couldn’t help it. He had never been this excited. Blair was lying there on the bed, stroking his own cock waiting on Jim when the phone rang. Blair never wanted to cut a phone cord so much in his life. But instead, he did the only thing he could do. He picked it up and said, “Sandburg.”
Simon breathed a sigh of relief at catching them at the loft and said, “Sandburg, I need you and Jim to be in the office in ten minutes.”
“What happened?” Blair asked.
“The Commissioner’s grand-daughter was abducted this morning and the entire force is looking for her. But he asked for you and Jim, personally,” Simon stated.
“We’ll be in as soon as we both shower. I’m really sorry to hear this news,” Blair said honestly. He’d had his differences with the Commissioner, but he wouldn’t wish a child abduction to happen to any family.
“We’ll see you as soon as you can get here,” Simon said before he closed the line.
Blair sighed and got up for the morning. He walked down the stairs and went into his old room to get his clothes for the day. He needed to get them moved back upstairs, pronto. He walked out, stopped in front of the bathroom door and knocked.
Jim opened up the door, completely naked, wearing only a smile and a hard on and said, “Can I help you, Chief?”
“Yeah, tell that big boy to calm down. We have to hurry and get to the station. The Commissioner’s grand-daughter was abducted this morning and we’ve been assigned the case,” Blair explained, giving Jim a once over before Jim started for the stairs.
“Chief, it’s only 7:40 in the morning, where was she abducted from?”
“Got me. We have to wait until we get to the station and be filled in on what’s going on. Sorry, Jim.”
“It couldn’t be helped, buddy. My ass will still belong to you later,” Jim teased.
Blair hurriedly took a shower and dressed since Jim was already upstairs getting ready to go. They then drove to the station house.
Blair couldn’t believe all of the activity going on in the bullpen. It was a madhouse. Connor walked up to him and said, “Everyone is in the conference room. Get the coal out.”
“It’s get the lead out, Connor. Crazy damn Aussie,” Jim grumbled. Blair couldn’t help but smile at both of them but lost his smile by the time he got to the conference room.
Jim and Blair followed her into the room and saw how packed it was. Simon waved to them to come over to the table by him and he had two chairs saved for them.
“The Commissioner’s grand-daughter was abducted this morning at the grocery store at 7:00. The Commissioner’s daughter, Sally Sanford, said that her daughter, Melanie, was there talking to her one minute and while she picked out the fruit to put into the muffins, someone took her. The store had a lock down and they looked everywhere inside before the officers got there. Once it was searched and she wasn’t found, they called it right in and we’ve all been on the case ever since.” Simon then handed paperwork to the two men and gave them a picture of four year old Melanie.
“Are we going to be able to get to the daughter to speak to her?” Jim asked.
“Ellison, this is high priority, you need to treat it as any other child abduction. She’ll talk to you, even if she is upset,” Simon barked.
“Where is she right now?” Blair asked.
“She’s at her own home, hoping that someone will call with a ransom demand. Her father is there with her. Treat him just like any other member of the family. They will need to be questioned as if they were you or me,” Simon added.
Everyone left the room and Jim looked at Simon and said, “Does anyone believe it was a kidnapping?”
Simon chewed on his unlit cigar and growled, “I haven’t a fucking clue.”
“We’ll get started right away, sir,” Blair said as they walked away from their boss.
They walked into the bullpen and started to get things ready to go. Connor walked over to them and said, “Would you like a third on this?”
Jim thought for a moment and said, “Yes, a third person might catch something we both missed. You’ll ride with us.”
“I can’t wait to meet the mother and see what we think of her,” Connor said as she grabbed her purse and followed the two men to the elevator.
“I would think she’s just an upset mother right now, nothing more or nothing less,” Blair guessed.
The three of them got off the elevator and walked to the truck. “Dibs on the middle,” Connor said with a laugh at the look on Jim’s face. “I was joking, Jimbo.”
“Good, because I want Blair next to me,” Jim said.
“Connor needs to be in the middle, Jim. I haven’t talked to anyone yet and I would like them to find out about us differently,” Blair said.
“I knew you guys would make up. I just knew it,” Connor said happily.
Jim glared at her for even thinking about anything else at that moment. “Whatever. Let’s just get this show on the road. We need to find this sick bastard before he does something to Melanie,” Jim said angrily.
Both Connor and Sandburg knew he wasn’t mad at them. He was just angry at life in general.
“Dad, I can’t think with all of these police officers in my home. Could we at least get half of them out?” Sally Sanford asked.
Commissioner Smith tried to be patient with his daughter. He knew she was crazed over her little girl being taken but he was going to have to explain to her how important it was to stay on top of things.
“Sally, we need to have everyone working the case. It’s important that we try and find Melanie in the first 48 hours. So please, just try and keep your head on straight and do what you have to do to help everyone.”
“Dad, I’m so scared,” Sally said.
Commissioner Smith started to say something to calm his daughter when the maid walked in and said, “Commissioner, we have three new officers at the door and they are asking to see you. They said that you asked for them to be on the detail. I left them at the door.”
“Thank you, Martha.”
The Commissioner walked to the door and said, “Please come in, Detective Ellison, Sandburg and Connor.”
Jim held out his hand and shook hands with the man, so did Blair and Connor.
Jim had a very serious look on his face. “Sir, we’re very sorry that your family has to go through this. We have questions to ask.”
“Let’s go into my office and ask all you want,” Smith said.
“Sir, we need to talk with your daughter. She will be asked questions too,” Blair said.
The Commissioner didn’t say anything-he knew the routine-just turned and walked towards the living room. Jim, Blair and Connor all followed him into the room.
“Have you found something?” Sally asked.
“No, Ma’am. I’m Detective Ellison; this is my partner Blair Sandburg and Inspector Connor. We need to ask some questions.”
“We’ve already answered all the questions we need to,” Sally said. Jim noticed the difference in her heartbeat when they walked into the room. It was almost like she was nervous, more then scared or upset.
Connor moved closer to the distraught woman and said, “Anything you can tell us might help us find your little girl. Now, where is her father?”
“My ex-husband lives about two blocks from here. He’s out of town and I can’t reach him right now,” Sally said.
Jim asked, “Are you on good terms with your ex-husband?”
“With Jeremy? Of course, we’re on good terms. He sees Melanie every weekend, so we have to keep things nice.” Once again, she had gotten way too upset to Jim’s liking. She had something she wasn’t telling them.
“He would have no reason to take her without your agreement?” Blair asked.
“He can have Mel as often as he would like, there would be no reason to take her,” Sally said, sounding somewhat exhausted to everyone, except Jim. He really felt like she was holding back on something.
“What about custody? Do you have joint custody?” Jim asked.
“Detective, why are we focusing on Jeremy? He wouldn’t hurt Melanie for anything and would have told me if he needed to take her for any reason.”
“So you have full custody?” Jim asked once more.
“Yes, and he has weekend and holiday visitation rights. He didn’t fight it, so I knew he was all right with that,” Sally said, sounding angry.
“He didn’t try to get any other type of custody?” Blair asked.
“Jeremy is a good man and a good father. He would never hurt our child,” Sally said, adamantly.
Connor said, “Well, we’re going to see the footage of the grocery store, so it would help if we had a picture of Jeremy to rule him out.”
“I think you’re all nuts. Why would Jeremy be a suspect? He’s out of town and he’s never fought me on anything.” Sally sounded annoyed now.
Jim was now focusing on her even more, drawing attention to himself by Connor and Blair.
“Ma’am, right now you are all suspects. Until we get proof of where everyone was and what they were doing at the time. So it’s time for questions and answers from you and your father,” Jim stated.
The commissioner had been quiet until then and said, “You want to question me?”
“Sir, this is just like any other case. We have to question everyone. First of all, where were you this morning at 7:00?” Blair asked.
Commissioner Smith sat down and said, “I suppose you’re right. I was already in my office at 7:00. My secretary was there also. You can confirm with her. Here is her card with her numbers on it.” He handed the secretary’s business card he pulled out of his wallet to Jim and Jim took it and put it in his pocket. Jim had listened to the man and didn’t pick up any trace of nervousness, like he did in the daughter. He knew the Commissioner was exactly where he said he was.
“Did you ever see any problems with Jeremy and your daughter when it came to Melanie?” Blair asked.
“Yes.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” Sally sounded quite indignant, almost annoyed, that her father wasn’t agreeing with her.
“Sally, he wanted to see Melanie more, but you had all of those rules. He felt that you were being selfish. He asked me to talk to you, but that was only last week. I didn’t have the time, so I let it slide. Where is Jeremy supposed to be right now?” the Commissioner asked Sally.
“He said he was in Seattle, working on a case,” Sally answered.
“What does he do for a living?” Jim asked.
“He’s a police detective at the five-one,” Sally answered.
Connor said, “I’ll get right on it and see where he is.” She walked out of the room punching numbers into her cell phone as she left.
“Dad, do you think Jeremy had something to do with this?” Sally asked.
Again, Jim just stared at her, because he had the feeling she knew exactly where her little girl was. Jim could also tell that Blair and Connor knew too.
“I didn’t at first, but now I wonder if he was upset about the terms. He did talk to me last week and I forgot about it. He might have felt like he had no other way to get some time with her.”
Rafe walked in with the video feed from the store and said, “Here you go, Jim. Simon said to bring it right over.”
Jim asked, “Could we please put this in your VCR and play it?”
Sally said, “You’ll see it wasn’t Jeremy. Go ahead, play it.”
Jim popped it into the machine and turned the television on. It started to play and they watched as she turned her back on her daughter for a long period of time and while she was doing that, a man took Melanie and Melanie went willingly.
“Oh my God, it is Jeremy. I can’t believe he would kidnap his own daughter,” Sally said but there was an oddly cold note in her voice.
Jim knew that something else was going on, but he wasn’t sure of what it was, yet.
“If she’s with Jeremy, she is fine. Let’s call this manhunt off. I believe that I can reason with Jeremy and get him to bring her home without any problems. He had asked to take her this week to see his mother in Seattle. She has cancer. Maybe she got worse. Sally, did he ask if he could take Melanie?” Commissioner Smith asked.
“Yes, but I told him it would have to wait until Saturday, when he had her for his visitation time. He tried to tell me it was important, but I told him he had to follow the rules or he wouldn’t see her at all. We have to enforce the rules”
They all sat there quietly, thinking about what she had done and Jim finally said, “Commissioner, do you think you could call him and ask him to bring her home?”
The Commissioner dialed his cell phone number and heard, “Hello?”
“Jeremy, this is dad. I’m sorry I forgot to talk to Sally about this week, I have no other excuses. Did you take Melanie up to see your mother?” The Commissioner then put the phone on speaker phone and they waited for Jeremy’s reply.
“Yes, dad, I did. She’s not going to last the week and she asked to see Melanie. I talked to Sally, I explained to her what was going on and she refused to let me take her. There was no other way, sir. She left me no choice. My mother is spending her last days with her granddaughter and I wish I was sorry about taking her, but Sally made it impossible.”
“It’s all right, son. You keep Melanie up there all week with your mother and bring her home this weekend. I will talk to the police and get everything taken care of. When you come back, you will file for joint custody and Sally isn’t going to fight you on it. I’m sorry she made you do this, Jeremy.”
“Thank you, dad. Somehow I knew you would understand. I should have gone to you instead of her. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I probably caused a lot of people to worry and I never should have done that. Will I be arrested when I get back?” Jeremy wondered.
“I will see to it that there are no charges brought. We’ll be closing this right now. You take care of Melanie and your mother. Tell her I wish her well. I’m very sorry you have to go through this, Jeremy. Now take care and we’ll talk to you later, goodbye.”
“Goodbye, sir.”
Jim stood up and said, “Commissioner, he still kidnapped her.”
“No he didn’t. He asked for permission and my daughter forgot about it. Didn’t you, Sally?”
Sally looked somewhat confused but knew that tone her father was using was not a happy tone. “Yes, he had told me he was taking her, but I forgot. I’m sorry for the inconvenience. I never should have called because of my bad memory.”
“We have to write a report up, Commissioner. We can’t get around that,” Blair said.
“My daughter was being cruel and for that you’re willing to make a man suffer because he wanted his little girl to see his mother for one last time? No, we’re dropping the charges, because there is no case. File whatever you want, but we’re not going to change our minds.”
The Commissioner asked everyone to leave and he looked sad and tired. Jim, Blair and Connor got into the truck and Connor said, “What the hell are we supposed to do with that?”
“I don’t think we need to write up anything. We’ll just say she forgot that they had made arrangements ahead of time and go from there,” Blair suggested.
“I know one person I feel sorry for right now and it’s not Jeremy,” Connor joked.
“The Commissioner acted like his daughter was always a bitch to him, so I was glad to see him take the son-in-law’s side for a change. It was a nice end to what could have been an awful outcome. Jim, did you know that something was going on with her right away?” Blair asked.
“Yes, I had a feeling it was something like this. Her heartbeat was beating super hard every time we mentioned Jeremy. I knew she had a little to do with it.”
“I’m just glad it worked out in the end,” Connor said.
“All right, no paperwork. Now this is the kind of case I wish we had all the time,” Jim said happily.
Connor looked at Jim and Blair and said, “Are you guys back to fooling around?”
“Connor, that is no one’s business but our own,” Jim said.
Ignoring Jim completely, Blair said, “Yes, we made up, Connor. I was an asshole and he accepted my apology. But we haven’t had the make-up sex yet. Simon interrupted that this morning.”
“Chief, is there anything that is sacred to you?” Jim asked, blushing bright red.
Connor and Blair both started laughing at the private man. This made the blushing worse.
“I’m glad you worked things out, because you make a great couple. Are you going to tell anyone else?” Connor wondered.
“Yes, I’m going to tell Simon, Joel and Henri, but I don’t know about Rafe yet. I know how he feels about gay dudes now and that makes things harder. He would probably only make fun of us,” Blair said.
“He would only make fun of us once, Chief, and then I would kick his ass out of the loft. He doesn’t have to like us, but I refuse to have someone over to the loft for poker that hates gay people.”
“Do you think he’ll notice that my bedroom is clean and now the office?” Blair asked, wearing a big smile on his face.
“I don’t care,” Jim replied.
“Congratulations on becoming a couple. It took Sandy a while, but I knew he would come around, Jimbo.”
Both men groaned at hearing the nicknames. This made Connor smile even more.
Once they were back in the bullpen, Jim and Blair filled Simon in on what was happening. They felt that Simon needed to be updated on what happened at the Commissioner’s house. When they finished talking to Simon they walked out of the office and completed the work on the report.
Joel walked by, smiled at both men and said, “Good morning.”
Blair looked up at Joel and knew he had to talk to him, but could he pull this off? “Joel, could I see you in interrogation room two?” Blair asked.
“Sure, lead the way.”
Jim sat down at his desk and knew he would be listening to see if it would go well or not.
As the two men walked in, Blair said, “Could you have a seat? I have something to tell you.”
Joel sat down, watched the young man pace and said, “Blair, I already know about you and Jim. I knew ages ago. Is that what you were going to tell me?” Joel wanted to put poor Blair out of his misery as soon as he could. He could see the young man relax immediately.
“Wow, that was way easier then I thought it would be,” Blair said relieved.
Both men laughed.
“So you were just a little confused the other night?” Joel prompted.
“A lot confused, Joel. But I slept on it and talked to Jim at 3:00 this morning and we worked things out.”
“Is that a new way of saying you fooled around?” Joel teased.
“No, there was no fooling around. No make-up sex. We both have to wait for that. We had to work this morning.”
“Thanks for telling me, Blair. I think you make a wonderful couple. Now don’t worry about things so much. And don’t let Rafe taunt you, either.”
“I haven’t decided if I’m telling Rafe or not. I know I’m going to tell Henri as soon as possible and Simon. But not sure about Rafe,” Blair said.
“You want me to send Simon in for the talk?” Joel kidded.
Blair took a deep breath and nodded his head slowly.
“Sure, why not? This is as good a time as any, don’t you think?” Blair inquired.
“I’ll go get him and send him your way. Remember to keep calling him sir. That makes him feel better.” Joel walked out of the room and headed right for Simon’s office. He stuck his head in and told him that Blair was waiting to see him in the interrogation room. Simon grabbed his gross, wet, chewed cigar and stuck it in his mouth and headed down the hall.
When he walked in, Blair said, “Could you please sit down, sir, I have something to tell you.”
“My God, this must be horrible, you called me sir.” Simon sat down as requested and waited for the bomb to hit.
“I wanted to let you know that Jim and I are a couple.”
“And?” Simon asked, looking somewhat confused.
“No, that’s it, Simon.”
“Well, hell, everyone knows that. Just be sure and keep it out of the workplace so I don’t have complaints about you two working together. Understood?”
“Understood, sir. Thank you for accepting us,” Blair answered. Blair didn’t realize that everyone already knew and accepted them. This confused him a little bit.
“What is there to accept? Ever since you came on board, it was one thing building to another until this is all that was left. Take good care of him, Sandburg and don’t fuck with his mind again.”
“Yes, sir,” Blair answered, happily.
Simon walked out of the room with Blair bouncing behind him. Blair couldn’t believe how easily this was going down.
Simon walked by Jim’s desk and patted Jim on the back and smiled at him. No words were said. None were needed. Jim knew the smile. It was one of acceptance and understanding.
Blair sat down across from Jim and smiled. “Only have Henri left.”
“You decided against telling Rafe?” Jim asked.
“He’ll probably just get ugly,” Blair said.
“He’s always ugly,” Jim joked.
Rafe and Brown walked into the bullpen and Brown said, “Wasn’t this a kick ass morning?”
“Could I talk to you guys in interrogation room two?” Blair asked, deciding at the last moment that he could handle Rafe.
Jim just smiled at the notion of Blair taking them both on at the same time.
“Sure, Hairboy, we’ll follow you in,” Henri said as he started for the room. Rafe looked a little worried, with good reason.
Once they were all in the room, Blair shut the door and said, “Sit down, dudes. I have some news that’s going to knock your socks off.”
Both men sat down and waited for the news. Blair started pacing and opened his mouth twice and nothing came out.
“Sandburg, we have things to do if you don’t have anything to tell us,” Rafe snapped.
“Okay, Rafe. You know how I said I agreed with you about two guys not loving each other?” Blair started.
“Yeah, so?” Rafe answered.
“I lied. I lied big time. I’m in love with Jim and he’s in love with me. We’re a couple and don’t even say a couple of what.”
Henri jumped up and gave Blair a hug. “Congratulations, Hairboy. I knew you two would end up together. I just knew it.”
Rafe sat there thinking. He hadn’t said a word.
Blair said, “So I take it you’re totally disgusted with us, Rafe?”
“You could say that. I’ll get over it. But things will change around here and they won’t be for the better,” Rafe said.
“What are you talking about?” Brown asked.
“Once it gets out, they won’t have back-up when they need it and someone might hurt them,” Rafe explained.
“Why would anyone find out?” Blair asked.
“Gossip isn’t a good thing, Sandburg,” Rafe said.
“But why would anyone be talking about us?” Blair had to know.
“I’m sure you’ll be kissing and all of that here and it won’t take long,” Rafe said.
Both Brown and Blair burst out laughing.
“Rafe, I’ve been with Jim for two months and we still don’t make out at the station. What we do in our own home is another story. But here at the station will be a public place that we would never try and ruin. Don’t worry about us, man, we’ll be fine. Are you still planning on coming over every Saturday for poker games?” Blair asked.
Brown said, “You bet. I can’t wait for Saturday.”
“I’ll be there. I really am happy for you and Jim, if you’re really serious. I just hope you do keep it out of the station. You two don’t need any trouble from any of the other cops if they found out. I would feel horrible if something happened to either of you. I wish that my brother could find someone like you guys instead of the jerks he finds. He’s going to be alone forever.”
“We’ll help him find someone, Rafe. I know some gay dudes that are really nice guys. Smart and good looking too. We’ll get him aimed in the right direction,” Blair promised.
“Thanks, Sandburg, he could use some help,” Rafe admitted.
“Can we go back to work now?” Henri asked.
“Yeah, fun and games are over,” Blair said as the three of them walked back to the bullpen.
Henri and Rafe both clapped Jim on the back as they walked by and Jim knew things were going to be fine. He didn’t know how Blair did it, but he always seemed to know what to say or do to make people understand things. It was one of Blair’s greatest gifts and Jim was thankful.
They all finished their paperwork for the day and said their goodbyes and went down to the parking garage. Jim opened the door up for Blair, which made Blair smile, and then Jim blushed. Blair loved when he took this man off guard and made him blush. In fact, it was a major turn on. He got into the truck and leaned over and opened up the door for Jim. Blair was thrilled because it made Jim blush again. Blair just knew this was going to be fun, being in love with someone that embarrassed easily.
They talked about the cases they would have to work on the next day and before long they were in the parking lot at the loft. Both men were anxious and both of them knew the other one was, too.
As they walked into the loft, Blair asked, “What would you like me to make for dinner? It’s my turn to cook.”
Jim grabbed Blair and pushed him up against the door and started to kiss him. “I want you for dinner,” Jim growled.
“You’ll be hungry an hour later,” Blair teased.
“Then we’ll eat again,” Jim said as he pulled Blair towards the stairs.
“You seem sort of eager to get this show on the road, is someone horny?” Blair joked.
“I want you and now,” Jim answered.
They got upstairs and clothing was flung all over the room. Before long, they were both naked and already hard as rocks. Blair shoved Jim onto the bed and went between his legs and headed for his cock. As he took Jim’s member into his mouth, Jim said, “Chief, I’m not going to last long.”
Blair thought, how cute and sucked twice and Jim howled and came down Blair’s inviting throat. Blair came up for air, swallowing like crazy and said, “You weren’t kidding were you?”
“That’s why I warned you.”
Smiling, Blair got the lube out and started to stretch his big man, with Jim moaning happily the entire time. When Blair felt he was stretched enough, he pulled Jim’s legs around his waist, put a condom on, slicked it up with lube and started pushing his way into Jim. Blair couldn’t believe how good Jim felt.
“God, I love you, Jim.”
“Good.”
“I love fucking your ass.”
“Good.”
“You’re so tight-it’s making me come closer and closer.”
“Good.”
“Oh God, I’m going to come.”
“Good.”
Blair laughed at another ‘good’ answer and came into Jim’s tight channel, throwing back his head and growling, ‘Jim’.
As Blair said Jim, Jim came all over both of them. Blair was amazed at a person being able to come without being touched. But then again, he was talking about Jim. Super Sentinel Man.
Blair finally slid out of Jim’s ass and he got up and cleaned them both up. Jim turned on his side and started to fall asleep.
“Oh no you don’t. I want to discuss this with you,” Blair ordered.
“Discuss what, Chief?”
“So, how was it?” Blair asked, practically bouncing on the bed.
“You rocked my world, Blair. It was perfect. I haven’t ever felt that good. I mean that. You made me feel better then anyone ever has.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m always serious when it comes to my ass,” Jim said.
“I had a really good time,” Blair confessed.
“I could tell,” Jim teased.
Blair snuggled up close to Jim and said, “Was it truly the best you’ve ever had?”
“Yes, Chief, it was the best I’ve ever had. Now it’s time for a power nap. Then dinner.”
“You don’t talk much during or after sex do you?” Blair asked.
“No, I sure don’t. Believe me, I had a great time, I thought you could tell. Now I need a power nap, I’m old.”
“Old my ass,” Blair said as he took Jim into his arms and held him close.
“I love you, Blair.”
“And I love you, Jim.”
“I’m so damn grateful about that,” Jim said quietly.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to realize how much I love you. I’m sometimes a little slow on the uptake. It won’t happen again.”
“And by the way, thank you for taking on everyone at work and telling them about us. I really appreciate that. I get embarrassed easily. I’m not embarrassed about us, I just get embarrassed talking about us to other people. So again, I thank you for being you. I knew you’d have everyone in our corner by the end of the day.”
Blair rubbed Jim’s temple until Jim fell asleep in his arms and then Blair followed close behind.
Both men had showered together, fooled around some more and were lounging in the living room, wearing their sweats, when there was a knock at the door. Blair looked over at Jim and Jim said, “It’s Rafe.”
Blair got up and answered the door. “Hello, Rafe, what’s up?”
“I’m sorry for not calling ahead of time but I was in the neighborhood and thought I would stop in to talk to you guys,”
Jim laughed and asked, “How many times did you have to drive around before you got the nerve up?”
“Very funny, Ellison. Okay, it took me about two hours to get up the nerve. I told my brother about you guys and he was thrilled of course and wants to meet some of these people that you spoke of. I told him I would tell you tomorrow, but he wanted to ask tonight,” Rafe said, all in one breath.
“He’s with you?” Jim asked.
“Yeah, he’s downstairs. Would you mind talking to him? He’s been really depressed lately and he was thrilled to hear that there are couples that make it in the gay world.”
“So go and get him, Rafe. We’ll chat with him tonight and have some of my friends over from Rainier this weekend to meet him. What’s his name?” Blair asked.
“Tom. Thank you both for doing this. You’re the best,” Rafe said as he rushed out the door to fetch his brother.
“Why don’t we put a sign outside the door that says, “Matchmakers Inc?” Jim kidded.
“Just remember how much fun we’ll have tonight after they leave. Just keep telling yourself how you get to fuck me tonight and it’ll make things better,” Blair said.
“Everything is peachy, Chief. No complaints, here.”
They smiled at each other as they waited for their friend to bring his brother up and get the night over with.
The end
