Title:Man’s Man
Author: PattRose
Category: Pre-slash
Warning: Pure silliness ahead.
Word Count: 1,120
Man’s Man
By Patt
Funny, I always thought of myself as a ladies man, come to find out, I’m a man’s man.
I’ve had women falling all over me for years, and simply loved it, so I never objected to any of it. But suddenly my life is filled with confusion and feelings for a man. How could I miss this? Jim has been my roommate for over three years and I was taking a shower a week ago and thought of naked Jim while I was in there. Where in the hell did that come from? I had to take care of myself afterwards, because I didn’t want to walk around with a hard-on all damn day long. Why is this happening to me? I’ve been perfectly content with my life up until now. But now, I want to see Jim naked? I think I’m sort of old to have these feelings. I mean, I tried things when I was young and just starting college. I enjoyed men, but I moved on and never found one that made me think twice about them, so I figured it had been a phase. Evidentially that phase is back and it’s driving me insane with need.
Why would I want to be with the grumpy, balding, out of sort’s person that I live with? He’s a cop for crying out loud… Sure, he has a body to die for, but there are a lot of people that do, and I don’t think about them while I’m in the shower. I seem to be fine now that I’m in my office. Good… I was hoping it was just a fluke. I haven’t been dating much and I guess this is what happens when I don’t. No one is coming in for office hours so I’m left to think about Jim. This isn’t such a good thing. I need to think about school. Oh. My. God…I just pictured Jim bending me over my desk and telling me he knows what the teacher needs. I only thought I was hard this morning. Now, I’m really hard. Wait a minute, why couldn’t I be bending Jim over my desk? It doesn’t have to be me, does it? I could just ask him how he felt about it. Yeah, right… I can’t help but smile as I run my hand over my hard cock and pray that no one comes into my office anytime soon. I think I would like to bend Jim Ellison over my desk, pull his jeans down and have my wicked way with him. I could even use a ruler if I felt like it. He might like that part. Smack… Smack… Smack… I would love to watch his beautiful ass grow pink as I use the ruler from my desk. I’ve not used that ruler for much else and now I will never look at it the same way again.
I’m laughing and getting hysterical. I can’t work beside Jim every day thinking about bending him over my desk and having my way with him. What in the hell is wrong with me? And where in the hell did the idea come from to smack him with the ruler? I’m not a physical person, usually. Why would I want to spank Jim Ellison? Maybe he’s been a naughty, naughty boy. Oh Christ, I am hysterical. Please, let no one come to my office today. Please, please, please. Now I sound like a Beatles song. For crying out loud, I’m going nuts.
I know what I need. I need to focus on looking out the window and watching people walk by. That’s the ticket. That’ll keep me busy for the next three hours. For Pete’s sake, I’ve still got three hours to go?
I watch the people walk by my window and I see someone with Jim’s build and it drives me wild. So is it anyone that can flip my switch on and off? Or is it just Jim?
You know what I feel like right now? I feel like the Wizard of Oz and I’m standing behind the curtain when Toto pulls it open. Don’t pay any attention to the man behind the curtain. He’s insane.
I decide it’s safer at my desk then watching men out the window. Geeze, I’m a little old for this.
I have Wizard of Oz in my brain and I’m thinking about the characters from the movie. I feel like the cowardly lion, because I would never bring this up to Jim. Sometimes I would be the scarecrow wishing I had a brain. I could love Jim like no other. Holy shit, where did that come from? I’m the tin man, looking for a heart. How long have I felt this way for Jim? Am I going to bring this up to him? Or will I continue to be the man behind the curtain? I think I have a fever. Let me click my heels together and say, ‘There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.’
I find myself wishing I was home and talking to Jim. Do I dare bring it up? Or do I just continue to be the Wizard or the lion? I really think I have a fever. Yeah, I bet that’s what’s happening here. I’m sick. I’m sick all right. Sick in the head. I know I can’t bring this up to him so instead I’ll just try and carry on as I have been.
Let me put that damn ruler away and leave for the day. I’m definitely sick. Maybe Jim will make me hot soup. That would be nice. Soup doesn’t help people that are losing their minds though.
I’m going to stop at the video store and rent Wizard of Oz. I want to get Jim’s take on the different characters. He might just think I’m insane for watching it, but I’m renting it and I’ll click my heels together in my room tonight. ‘There’s no place like Jim’s bed. There’s no place like Jim’s bed.’
Okay, I’ve gone and ruined a perfect G rated movie and it’ll never be the same for me. I need help. I wish I had Glenda to talk to. Maybe I could pretend Megan Connor was Glenda and ask her what to do. Oh my, I’m hysterical again. She looks more like the Wicked Witch of the West. I crack myself up.
Get up you goof-ball, and drive home and talk to Jim. You need to talk to someone and he’s it.
Wish me luck. ‘There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.’
The end
