Almost Lying
by Rae C.
---

    Someone told me that love would all save us
    But how can that be, look what love gave us
    A world full of killing and blood spilling
    That world never came.
            ---Hero, Nickelback, Spider-Man Soundtrack
---

Kneeling in the packed dirt of a barn on a Kansas farm, Lex Luthor bowed his head, struggled to breathe, and wished he'd never met Clark Kent. Wished he'd never found his way down this road tonight. That he'd never gone over the side of a bridge and died. That a bale of razor wire hadn't fallen onto the blacktop. Wished that his father had never sent him to Smallville as penance for sins that given half a chance he'd commit again.

He was nothing if not his father's son.

Lex heard soft footsteps behind him and couldn't help stiffening. After all, what excuse did he have for being here? None. 

"Lex?" A tender hand fell on his shoulder. Incredible strength tempered inside by a gentle nature. "What are you..." Breath. "Are you okay?"

"No." The word little more than a whisper, yet broken and torn. He needed, wanted. Passion ripped at him, surrounding him, shredding his resistance. Held him in a whirlwind of emotion with no place to escape. Needed to touch, to feel. No, he wasn't okay. He was far from okay. 

He held in his hands the power to break Clark. Pull from him all the little secrets that had been kept hidden. He knew how. Knew how to play the game, when to push, when to draw back. How much to give to take in return. Had played this game so often and for so long now that he needed it to not be a game; he didn't know the rules.

Wanted him so much that he'd crept in like a thief in the night to watch the young man jerk himself off. Wanted to love and be loved. Only he didn't know how.

No, he wasn't okay. He didn't think he'd ever be the same again.

"Want to talk about it?" There was apprehension in his voice, as if he was half afraid of what Lex was going to say. 'Yes, Clark, I was there. I heard.'

"Not particularly." What could he say? I'm sorry, my entire world just shifted and you're to blame? That would go over real well.

Clark came around and sat in front of him, bare except for his jeans. Lex missed the warmth of Clark's hand on his shoulder. Wanted the intimacy of the contact. It somehow made this whole conversation less surreal. Clark seemed as afraid as he was, desperately afraid, confused, dozen of emotions chasing themselves across his face. 

"I'm sorry." Clark stared at his lap, like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. It was endearing. 

"For what?" Lex sighed as he settled more comfortably on the floor.

"I didn't mean..."

"Clark, stop. Don't be sorry. I'm flattered. Surprised, but flattered."

"So, um..." Clark was playing with the cuff of his jeans, his cheeks flushed, getting redder by the moment. 

"Clark?" Lex laid his hand on Clark's to get his attention. He wanted to see Clark's eyes. Was this fantasy or something more? A possibility over curiosity? Dark need rose to meet his own. Lex inhaled sharply. 

Clark grinned now that he knew Lex wasn't angry. "Yeah?"

"Can we take this upstairs? The ground is kind of uncomfortable." Lex smiled back. 

---

"Lex? What are you doing here?" That wasn't the question the boy wanted to ask. Lex could sense it, but it was the only question he was willing to answer as he sat down on the sofa. He could still smell the scent of release in the air. Strong. Musky. Intoxicating. 

"Looking for you." 'Looking at you. Watching you. Wanting you.' Lex relaxed, letting the heat pouring off of Clark seep into him. Warmth so intense it melted into his bones. Wormed its way into the coldest parts of his body. Filling him. Let the desire he'd tried to escape build once again. It was safe to feel. 

Safe.

No games. No swords. No words that wound. 

"Clark?"

"Yeah?" 

"Can I touch you?"

---

    Now that the world isn't ending
    It's love that I'm sending to you
    It isn't the love of a hero
    And that's why I fear it won't do
            ---Hero, Nickelback, Spider-Man Soundtrack
---

Perhaps it was the full moon. Or maybe it was just the thought of going back to the castle and Victoria. Lex couldn't stand the thought of being this close to what he wanted and not touch. This was nothing like fantasy and yet felt as if nothing was tangible. There was a sense of unearthly reality, a dream state to the whole night that Lex just couldn't put his finger on. 

"Yes." Clark moved closer, his knee touching Lex's. God, what had he done to deserve Clark? What had he done right?

Lex reached out letting his fingers just brush against Clark's chest. Sweat still coated him, glowing in the moonlight. It reminded him that just moments before Clark was writhing on this couch, working his way toward release with his name on Clark's lips. 

Clark didn't move, just let Lex explore as if Lex were a skittish colt. Lex snorted to himself. Clark was the virgin and yet here he was controlling this thing between them. 

"What?" 

Lex heard the nervous humor in Clark's voice before he ever looked up to see the smile he knew he'd find. Maybe he wasn't the only one scared here. "I just realized I don't know what you like."

"Anything," Clark breathed. 

Lex barely checked his laughter. Clark was charmingly eager, yet with a hint of naïveté coating his need. It would be so easy to just take everything he was offering, but Lex owed him so much more than that. "Clark, I was hoping for something a little more specific."

"Lex, it doesn't matter." Clark moved closer, pulled Lex into his arms and lay down so that they were chest to chest, their bodies aligned, touching chest to chest, hip to hip, and thigh to thigh.

"Yes, it does. I want this to be good for you." Lex ran his hands over Clark's chest, lightly raking his nails across Clark's nipples and down to the waistband of Clark's jeans.

"Tha - that's what I'm trying to tell y - you, Lex. Just y - your touching me is good." Clark arched beneath his hands, the boy erotic in the half-light.

"But I want so much more." Lex licked his way up Clark's neck to whisper in his ear. "I want you. All of you. I want to fu - I want to be with you."

Clark hissed. "Yes."

Lex unzipped Clark's jeans, slipping his hand inside. "I want it to be my hand wrapped around your cock."

"Oh God." Clark threw his head back, bucking as Lex slowly stroked, nearly sending them both to the floor.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"God, Lex. Yes."

Lex kissed his way down Clark's chest, licking, tasting bare skin. Every dream, every fantasy in his hands and so much better than anything he could think. There was no way to imagine, to know the taste of Clark, the sweet-salty musky scent of sweat without a memory to base it on. The only memory he had was of river water and the scent of fear underlying it all, a bitter acidic flavor.

Clark's moans filled the air, low, husky, and filled with need. God, this was so much better than watching. He did this to Clark. Made him hard, made his hands search desperately for something to hold onto, his fingers digging almost painfully into Lex's shoulders.

"Lex, I - I need..."

"I know." Lex ran his hand down Clark's side soothingly, waiting as Clark calmed.

Lex reached for Clark's jeans, tugging at the waistband, pulling them down and off. "Christ, you're beautiful." Clark blushed but didn't take his eyes off of Lex as Lex stood and toed off his shoes, his hands unbuttoning his shirt. 

As each button came undone and more of his skin was bared, Clark's eyes seemed to grow darker. Lex pushed the shirt off, letting it fall in a puddle of grey silk on the wood floor. 

"Can I...let me...I want..."

Lex held his hands out by his sides. "Be my guest."

Licking his lips, Clark got up and knelt in front of Lex, his hands shaking as he unbuttoned and unzipped Lex's slacks. Lex shook himself, holding his needs in check by willpower alone. Clark had no idea how sexy he was - how that harmless lick turned Lex on. He wanted to bury his hands in Clark's hair as he concentrated on his task, but settled for gently touching, fingering the soft strands. 

Lex stood absolutely still. Clark's breath grew ragged as he pulled off Lex's slacks and boxers, the heated moist air ghosting over his cock. It was almost too much, like a promise of Clark's warm lips surrounding him, pulling him in. Then Clark did tentatively reach out and lick the tip. Lex grabbed Clark's hair, hissing at the heat in that one swipe of his tongue. "Christ!"

"What? Did I do something wrong?" Clark looked up apprehensively. 

"No. Just. Fuck, give me a second." Oh God, the boy was going to get a big head if that smile was anything to go by. 

Lex relaxed his fingers and Clark took that as a sign to continue. He wrapped his mouth around the head of Lex's cock, enveloping it in the promised heat. Lex jerked reflexively, but Clark didn't seem to mind. He hands came up to rest on Lex's hips, pulling him in deeper, his tongue stroking underneath Lex's cock and the back of his tongue massaging the head. 

If Clark hadn't been holding him, his knees would have given way the moment the boy began to suck in time with tongue. Lex dug his fingers in Clark's hair again - anything to hold onto while Clark sucked him off. God! Clark's tongue was too talented, or maybe it was just anything Clark did was more intense than any other experience in Lex's life. 

Clark pulled back and rolled his tongue around the top of Lex's cock like it was ice cream about to melt, striking that spot, sending a jolt of pure pleasure straight up his spine to his brain. White-hot shocks that made him want to dissolve, forget everything.

"Clark - I'm goin-ing to..." Lex felt the telltale sign of impending orgasm start, pooling in his groin, every nerve-ending on fire. He tried to warn Clark, give him a chance to back off, but he just kept on sucking. He worked his tongue even faster, gripped Lex's hips, and didn't allow Lex to pull away. Lex couldn't fight it off any longer and came, spilling into Clark's mouth, his knees giving way. 

Clark held on as Lex came, keeping him upright, as if Clark was afraid of losing even one drop. It hit Lex all at once - just before the world went white and black - the talent, the skill, the mastery, and the swallowing - incredible for someone he considered a virgin.

As Lex regained his ability to speak, to breathe, he found himself back on the couch in Clark's arms, a hand rubbing his back. 

"Fuck. Where did you learn to do that!?"

"The internet?" 

Lex chuckled against Clark's neck. "The internet. Things must have really changed since I had cybersex."

"Well, uh...I was in a chat room. They were really nice guys, Lex. Answered all my questions." The boy sounded like he was trying to convince Lex that it was innocent. Or he'd been caught with his father's Playboy. Although Lex didn't think that Jonathan Kent even owned a skin rag. It just didn't fit Lex's image of Clark's father. 

Lex rubbed against Clark, trapping Clark's cock in the hollow of his hip, letting a hint of mischief coat his voice. "I hope they knew you were sixteen."

"Oh, like I was going to tell them that!" Clark blushed again and Lex laughed. He was happy. It was such a strange feeling to have after sex. Something was different and Lex didn't understand it. Clark was different. 

And hard. 

Lex blinked, somewhat startled. Clark was waiting for him to come back to himself before looking for his own release. God, would this boy never stop surprising him? Miracle upon miracle. He didn't understand. What makes a person like Clark tick? Lex wanted to just crawl inside of him and never leave. He felt safe in Clark's arms. A strange, strong kind of safe. 

"Clark?"

Clark pulled him closer with a quick hug. "Yeah?"

Lex stared; he couldn't find the words to express how he felt at that moment. He settled for kissing Clark, letting his lips speak for him. Let his tongue lick across those full lips, tasting himself on Clark. Sharing the experience. 

"God, you taste good."

Clark laughed, his hands roaming over Lex's scalp. He'd never felt more exposed or naked in his life, vulnerable. Clark stroked his back, over his hips, his arms, everywhere he could reach skin, his fingers curiously rough, yet not rough enough for a young man who spent most days working a farm. It just made the mystery that was Clark Kent more appealing. 

Lex did some stroking of his own, kissing Clark's mouth one last time before working his way down Clark's jaw, licking down his neck and stopping to suck on his Adam's apple. Swirled his tongue in the hollow of Clark's collarbone - searching, tasting, testing all the little dips - mapped Clark with his mouth. Learning where Clark hissed, where he moaned, what made him twitch, laugh, or buck. 

Lex reached the hollow of Clark's hip, licking his way toward Clark's groin. He was barely able to stay on the couch. Lex held on and just rode him out, enjoying knowing that he was the one to cause Clark to feel this way. That in the morning when Clark looked in the mirror to say 'I'm no longer a virgin', it was Lex Luthor that made him feel that way.

Lex swallowed Clark's cock in one smooth move, taking him down into his throat. Clark did jerk wildly then, the couch creaking ominously as Clark's hand dug into the cloth and wood. Lex pulled back, drawing his tongue along the underside, massaging the vein, learning the feel of Clark's cock in his mouth. The hard silky pressure of it against his tongue, pre-cum leaking heavily into his mouth, bittersweet salty tang rolling over his taste buds.

He sucked hard, burying his nose back in the curls of Clark's groin, determined to memorize this moment, the scent of Clark in lust. Deeply earthy, musky, all male, pure Clark. Lex could get high off of the smell, high off of sucking Clark, high from making Clark groan. 

Lex put his fingers on Clark's lips, tracing them, encouraging him to take them in his mouth. All of the little noises that Clark was making were going to wake someone up soon and Lex would soon as not have a shotgun pointed at his chest. Clark sucked on Lex's fingers in time with the thrusts of his hips, pushing his cock into Lex's mouth. Lex let him just fuck his mouth over and over, as deep or as shallow as Clark needed the strokes to be. 

Clark tensed up; at the same time he sucked hard on Lex's fingers. It was all the warning Lex had to pull back slightly as Clark started coming. A loud, low moan spilled from Clark's throat as Lex sucked gently, savoring the taste of Clark on his tongue. Keeping as much in his mouth as possible, swallowing what he couldn't. 

As he let Clark slip from his mouth, Lex curled his tongue around the come he had saved and crawled up Clark, grabbed his jaw, and kissed him hard. He plunged his tongue deep inside Clark's mouth, encouraging Clark to suck Lex's tongue, taste himself. Clark met him thrust for thrust - a duel of tongues sharing back and forth until there was nothing left but slick heat. 

In and out, back and forth, sucking, tasting, twisting, licking between lips and teeth, over the palate. It was almost enough to make Lex want to fuck him right then and there, but not tonight. Soon. But not tonight. Lex wanted to be in his bed when he entered Clark for the first time. Have the time to do this right - take all night to show Clark what it could be like. 

Clark tugged Lex down, curled around him, and pulled the blanket over them both. For now, the emptiness was gone. Lex relaxed into the embrace and fell asleep. It felt right, normal, like home.

---

A noise from below startled them awake, like wood scraping on wood. Clark tightened his arm around Lex and his breathed rapidly. "I'm so screwed," he whispered.

"Take it easy." Lex stroked Clark's arm. "Let me up and get dressed." 

The boys scrambled into their pants and shirts.

"Clark? Is that Lex up there with you?" Clark breathed a sigh of relief that Lex was sure drifted down the stairs to his mother. 

"Yes, Mrs. Kent." Lex called over the banister when he was decent. 

"I think it's time you went home, Lex. It's late." Her face was shuttered and slightly red, as if she'd already come upstairs and then hastily backed down. Clark was right...they were screwed.

"Yes, Ma'am. I was just leaving." Lex pulled his shoes on and grabbed his jacket. Clark was watching him from beneath his lashes, a blush staining his cheeks, but otherwise expressionless. "Drop by tomorrow?"

"I don't know, Lex. I've got chores and my dad may want me to do more, uh, stuff." Clark shifted from foot to foot.

"Ten minutes, Clark, and I want you in the house." Clark's mom called from the barn door. 

"Be right there!" 

Lex laid his hand on Clark's arm. "Clark, is something wrong?"

"No, just, uh, isn't Victoria back?"

So that's what's got Clark all tied up in knots. "She leaves in two days to go back to her father, hopefully forever. What about Lana?"

"What about her?" Clark shrugged. 

"I want you all to myself, Clark. I don't like sharing." 

"Neither do I, Lex." Clark sounded strangely serious, adult.

"So does this mean you're giving up on her?" It was Lex's turn to be nervous again. Where was this going to go from here? 

"Honestly, I don't know, Lex." Clark brushed his hand through his hair, something Lex would do when he was nervous. "I'm just confused right now."

Yeah, Lex could understand that. He'd just hoped for something more. Wanted more from Clark even if he didn't understand what exactly he wanted. Nodding his head, Lex closed himself off and started down the stairs.

"Lex?"

He paused with his back to Clark, afraid to see rejection on his face. "Yeah?"

"I saved you. That's got to count for something."

"Yes, Clark, you did, but who'll save me from you?"

And there it was, the truth. Unvarnished. 

"See you around, Clark."

---

    Say this world is not so shallow,
    When you can't beg, steal, or borrow,
    Save your breath, your soul is hollow,
    And it's all too much to swallow.
            ---The Remedy, Abandoned Pools, Humanistic

---

It was somewhere around one a.m. when he pulled up to the castle; the lights spilled into the dark night, letting him know that Victoria was still awake. She was waiting for him. Why couldn't she have just stayed in Metropolis? Why did she have to come back? Sighing, he got out of the car and walked in, preparing to do battle.

"Lex. Where have you been?" Empty words spoken with just a hint of petulance to make him think he'd been missed. Victoria ran her hands over his chest, rubbing her body against his. He'd never noticed the differences so acutely before, how every move seemed calculated for maximum benefit. Was there any feeling underneath the greed? Did she have someone waiting for her to return to their bed when she was finished with business in Smallville?

"Out." Cold, no thought, no emotion. He pulled her hands off of him and entered his study, looking for a drink. After having touched the real thing, he couldn't stand the thought of Victoria's hands on him again. He needed a drink to fortify himself for one last night with her in his bed. 

"If that's the way you're going to act, I may as well return to Metropolis."

"You do that."

His actions could spell the end of this game he and his father were playing, but Lex was beginning to realize there were things more important than The Game.

"You smell like sex."

Lex shrugged. 

"What's her name? What does she have that I don't?" 

Warmth. Trust. Life.

"Or I should say what's his name. It's that produce boy. Lex, Lex, Lex. You're getting sloppy out here in the back of bleeding beyond." Victoria smirked as she draped herself across his chest again. "What would Daddy say?"

Lex closed himself off, determined to not let her see the effect of her words. It was dangerous. To both him and Clark. "I was just letting off some steam, Victoria. And you weren't fucking everything in sight while you were in Metropolis?"

"Only because you weren't there, Lex." The petulance was back in her voice again, but her eyes were sharp, missing nothing.

Lex smiled because it was the only thing he could do. Smiled and stroked her back. He had to keep her distracted for two more days. If he didn't...

He'd never taste Clark again. Never be able to get that close. Breathe him in. If that was what it took to protect him, Lex would do it.

If Lex screwed up, his father would want to know why. His father would find out just how Lex had been spending his off time in Smallville and start poking into his affairs. 

Lex kissed her and then led her off to his bedroom. 

What was it he said to Clark? It was just business, nothing personal. 

It was almost lying. Just enough truth that it wasn't a lie. Just enough of a lie that he could live with himself in the morning. 

He could live with that. He'd have to. 

--The End--