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Chapter Five: Full Circle

Jack

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Sometimes life can play cruel tricks on you.  One minute you are sipping Pina Colodas in the sun and the next standing in the wake of a storm.  You think everything is 'okay'.  That you've got your act together.  Then something reaches out from beyond to grab you by the balls and shake you up all over again. 

There you are, minding your own business, and a particular glance or gesture will trigger them off.  A smell, a taste, or maybe it is a name, whatever; that's all the images need to come tumbling forth.  And you are forced to slip behind the walls of rapid speech or misdirection, seeking a way to head off the impending descent into madness.  You cradle the familiar pain of needs denied deep inside.   Pretend the world didn't just shift on its axis and you are now falling on your ass. 

Life goes on.  And you do too.  But what you wouldn't give to forget.   To forget where you are, what you know, and just go on to the next mission, the next battle, the next planet, empty of feeling, of regret.  Forget that you let something wonderful slip away because you were afraid. 

Too afraid to say don't go.

~~~

The simple phone call to the General ended rather abruptly, his tone harsh, demanding.  'My office, now.'   I had work to do damn it.   Couldn't this wait?  I hadn't been back from the mission for ten minutes when the Airman arrived at my door nearly out of breath.  An escort?.  Like I could get lost. 

"Sir, the General?"

"Yeah, Yeah, I'm coming."  What had I done now?  I slammed the handset down and I followed the nervous man towards the Briefing Room, all the while going over the last mission.  Was there something I missed?  The halls were filled with people rushing about like chickens with their heads cut off.  Oh yeah, the General was on a tear this time.  

I stopped in the middle of the corridor, people passing by me as if I was a boulder in a stream.  "What's going on?"

"I have no idea, Sir.  If you would follow me please?"   A note of desperation crept into his voice.  The poor boy wrung his hands as if that would somehow get me moving.  A medical team with a full bodybag passed right in front of us, the Airman paling at the sight. 

'Oh shit!'  Whatever it was, it was something big.  For the first time I hurried, leaving the young enlisted man standing alone.   

"Colonel, I need you on a plane within the hour."  

"Sir?"

"SG-3 just reported back.  We have a situation." 

"No, we have dead bodies."  Sarcasm was my main standby in any situation and it didn't fail me now. 

"We've lost three members of SG-3 and SG-9 within the last twelve hours to 'something' on PX395G4.  We can't even get close enough to find out what it is."  Robert Rothman rushed into the office his arms filled with files and papers, my errant Airman hot on his heels.

Setting the haphazard pile on the General's desk, Rothman pulled sheets from his stack and handed several to the General.  The General glanced briefly at Rothman before signaling the Airman out yet again.

"Get Major Carter in here!"

"The plane?" I reminded the General, getting him back on track.   Where the hell was all of this going?

"We need Dr. Jackson and you are going to go get him."  An errand boy?  I'm an errand boy now?  It's not enough that Daniel walks out of here, I've got to go collect him?  My breath rushed out all at once.  I felt as if I had just been punched in the gut. 

"But what does this have to do with Daniel?  Wonder Boy here can't handle it?"  Real smooth, Jack.  Way to keep your cool. 

Annoyed, the General just gave me one of his patented don't go there looks.  "No, I need you and Major Carter to bring him back.  You two are the only ones who can.  Don't forget the book." 

"Book, Sir?"  Okay, now I was really confused.  First, I'm being sent off halfway around the globe to *fetch* an errant Archaeologist who doesn't want to be here, and now I'm playing librarian.  The General was not the only one who was annoyed.

"This book."  Rothman shoved a newspaper clipping into my hand.  There was Daniel, proud as a peacock, carefully cradling a black book in his hand.  He looked good, tanned, a big grin plastered across his face.  Nothing on but a pair of  ragged old shorts. 

"What's this?"  I asked waving the newsprint in Rothman's direction. 

"That book is the reason you are bringing Dr. Jackson back here.   See the symbol on the cover?  Now look at these pictures I brought back..."   It must be contagious; this 'dog with a bone' syndrome.  Carter had it.  Rothman had it.  Even Daniel.  They get all excited, non-stop talking, waving their hands all over the place, and never let up until you knew every detail down to the finest grain of sand. 

I cut in before this tangent went on forever.  "Same thing.  So?"

"Look closer, Colonel.  They are not only the same design, but the same color.  Blue.  And this book is the find of the century;  A book.   Written in Latin.  Over 5000 years old.  Found in Egypt."  And this means what?  Where's Daniel when you need him?

"Let me guess...." The light bulb clicked on. 

Another voice chorused with mine.  "Latin didn't exist."  General Hammond leaned back in his chair, the first happy expression I'd seen since I waltzed in here.  We'd finally gotten to the point. 

"So what does this book have to do with..."  I tossed my thumb over my shoulder toward the Gate.

The General lost whatever calm he'd had a moment ago.  Back to the business at hand. 

"Do whatever you have to, Colonel, just get Dr. Jackson.  Contact the Embassy, have them pull his passport.  Drag Rothman here along, if you think it's necessary.  I want Dr. Jackson in this office within 48 hours." 

"But..." 

"No buts, Colonel.  We *need* Jackson on this one.  And we need that book before even more of my men die." 

Carter would chose that moment to enter the office, full steam ahead.   She skidded to a halt at the General's words, shock running across her face.

"Colonel?"

"Pack it in, Major."  Rising to my feet, I grabbed her shoulder steering her toward the door.  "We're going to get Daniel."  

I sighed.  Why is it every time someone mentions Daniel's name, it immediately triggers a huge grin? 

'Am I the only one who sees a problem here?'

A premonition ran straight up my back.  What if Daniel doesn't want to come back? What if he likes what he is doing now?  What if he's found...?  I turned off my thoughts.  No use worrying about it. 

'I'm just fucked.  Two ways from Sunday.'

~~~

There is a face that you show the world, and yet another you save for when you are alone.  When you let loose your innermost  thoughts; those thoughts that you can't let anyone else see.  Hold them high, let the light hit, and then display all the hidden bits.  You surround yourself with your memories, your hopes, fantasies.  You are alone in this room, sitting in your favourite chair caught in a web of a thousand hues. 

It's a nice place to be.  Not real, but nice. 

And you know it can never be reality.  A house of cards that trembles under its own weight.  Constantly, you shift pieces, adding more and more, until they've all been lined up just so.  Then a wind comes along ripping one piece from the whole, bringing the whole kit and caboodle collapsing down around your feet.  You are left with scattered kings laying at your feet to be picked up, and a new house must be built...or....you just have to put the whole deck away, Ace High.

You never knew what you had until you lost it, and then you wake up, right back where you started from....Full Circle.