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Chapter Nine: Rent to Own

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Between Heaven and Hell, there lies a kind of twilight. A savage land rent in limbo where the gods battle laughing at the senseless scurrying of tiny insects. Where the right to own your own life is paid in an installment plan until you finally succumb to their will.

A relentless dance to the beat of pagan drums that steals all feeling because the struggle becomes too much. Too hard to let yourself breathe the pain, to drop the walls, free the guardians at the gate. It takes a unique kind courage you don't possess; the ability to forgive yourself and let loose the dreams. The 'hat of broken dreams' has become filled with holes, the hopes drifting away one by one. Smoke and mirrors.

Feeling nothing is better. Falling into your work, 'getting a life', drinking to oblivion on the nights when nothing but the bottle can chase the demons away. Because if you don't, the hurt sets in, drawing all strength, drowning you in the screams. A blood pudding from which there is no escape.

'It ain't nothing.'

Has Fate stopped laughing her head off yet?

~~~

"You're going to stand there and just..." Jack stopped, helpless to voice what he wanted to say. Frustrated, he thrust his hands through his hair. This was not going well. This wasn't the Daniel he knew. This man was a stranger to him. Someone he didn't know at all. Harder. Older. Closed.

"Just what, Jack?" Assessing, judging, a prism casting its colours on a web; each one examined and then set aside as unimportant. "Just in my tent dressing?" Casual, cynical. "Just had a good time last night?" Blithely bitter. Resentful of the intrusion. "Just what exactly?" Anger.

At him? Jack was speechless against the emotional onslaught being directed his way. His fault? For what? Where had the gentle, passionate man who he had known, the one he had spied mere minutes before, gone?

Daniel waited for some response. He barely held in the bitter chuckle, biting it back with effort. What did Jack expect? Him to fall at his feet, grateful that at last Jack remembered he was alive? No, it would take more than a simple 'hello' this time. It would take words, lots of them. Actions, deeds.

Jack had nothing to say. Daniel turned away in disgust. "Never mind, I've got work to do."

"Daniel. Wait! I...uh..." Jack struggled to say something. Anything to breech the gap that was widening with every word between them.

"Anytime you are ready."

He cringed at the embittered tone. "Look, I...uh..." Jack tried again. "What happened to you, Daniel?"

"What? You mean after I left? This and that. Or maybe you're looking for something that doesn't exist anymore. Just what are you looking for here, Jack? I really need some sort of a clue."

"Cat got your tongue?" Daniel flung himself onto the cot.

"Uh...You're, um...." Jack nodded his head in the direction of the bed. Way to go Jack! Why not just slap him and get it over with?

"You can't even say it, can you? The word is gay...G...A...Y. And the answer is no. Not that it matters."

"But..." Now he was confused. Jack glanced toward the open flap of the tent. Nothing leapt out at him. He was at a loss. Again.

Daniel sighed. "Bisexual. You know, swing both ways? What. Do. You. Want? Why are you here?" Any hopes of eventually salvaging their friendship fled. Daniel saw it written all over Jack's body; anger, disgust, and something else, pity. That was just too much. "You know where to find me." Rising, Daniel grabbed his hat and stalked out of the tent nearly running over Sam in the process.

"Daniel? Colonel?" Sam stumbled out of Daniel's way. "Was it something I said?"

"Not now, Sam," He growled as he passed.

Patting Sam's shoulder, Jack watched the retreating figure stomp his way across the compound.

"We've got our work cut out for us, Major." A sharp eye missed nothing as he kept vigil. "I blew it. Big time." He sighed. "Come on. Lets go rescue him before he hurts himself."

"Um, sir? Not that I'm saying you did anything wrong...but what did I miss?"

"When I figure out where all the land mines are, I'll be sure to let you know, Major. Until then...." There was more going on here than Jack understood.

"Not quite sure I follow you, Sir."

A red flush crept up Jack's neck as he turned slightly away from Sam. "I...uh...um...I ah…walked in on a rather 'delicate' moment."

"Oh!"

"Yeah. Oh."

Sam looked around confused yet again. "But, sir. I didn't...I mean there aren't...oh. Um..." Sam turned a critical eye on the Colonel. "You made an ass of yourself."  Something else clicked.

"What?"

"Nothing. That's one mine field you are going to have clean on your own."

"Sam..."

"Nope."

"You can't leave me hanging like this."

"That, Sir, if you don't mind my saying so, is part of the problem. You figure it out. Me? I didn't hear a thing."  She moved sideways out of Jack's reach. "I didn't see a thing." She snorted. "I know nothing."

"Carter...," Jack warned.

She stood attention..."Serial number 563-92..."

Major!"

Sam wandered off still repeating the rules of the Geneva Convention.

Twice in one day! And it wasn't even noon! Could this day get any worse?

The sound of rotor blades interrupted the bustle of the waking camp. What…Who in the hell?

Daniel heard the helicopter about the same time as the rest of the camp. There were only two reasons aircraft came out this way...for an emergency or because some stuck upon himself official deemed it necessary to add further problems to his already overburdened schedule. Daniel sighed with resignation and headed toward the helopad. He mourned the loss of his morning coffee and waited, Adam joining him at his side.

"Who is it this time?"

"I have no idea. No advance warning what so ever." Daniel kicked at the dirt. "You wouldn't happen to have any hard liquor hidden around here, would you? I suddenly feel the need to get drunk. Really drunk."

"I'm afraid not. Things didn't go as planned with the Colonel?"

The small baleful snort was barely heard above the rotor blades.

"I'll take that as a noooo..." The buzz of a nearby immortal cut off anything else Methos had been about to say. "I...uh...think...ah...I'll go make sure..."

"Oh no you don't, Adam!" Daniel grabbed his arm before he could make good his escape. "If I have to listen to this pretentious snob, I want back up. And you are it."

The emblem of the embassy of the United States was ablaze in a silvery glow as the helicopter landed. Methos was caught between a rock and hard place. His sword was back in his tent and between Daniel's firm grip on his arm and the surrounding crowd, there was no way out. If he managed to survive the night, Daniel was going pay for this. Somehow.

Jack watched the by play between the two men with growing unease. Daniel was pleased to have his friend nearby. And that made him angry in a way he didn't want to look too hard at just now. He was so busy studying the two men that he missed the tall, dark-haired man alight from the aircraft. What he didn't miss was the sudden stiffening of one of them. The way that Daniel touched Adam's arm. Or the way in which Daniel laughingly pleaded with his friend. Something reserved in the past for Jack, or Teal'c or Sam. The way in which this man was free of the anger that was now directed at Jack.

'It wasn't fair.' But what in life is?

Daniel strode forward dragging Adam along to meet whoever this way.

Stuffing his fists in his pockets, Jack was about to walk away when Daniel's lover froze in place.

"Dr. Jackson?" The man extended his hand. "I'm Duncan MacLeod."

"Mac!?"

Laughing mahogany eyes turned in 'Adam's' direction. "Nice to see I haven't lost my touch, Old Man."

"Daniel? You knew about this?"

"Well...ah...yeah, but not like you think." Daniel shrugged. "Mr. MacLeod wrote me several letters. He said he was interested in one of the antiquities from the dig."

Methos turned back and forth between Daniel and the Highlander.

Oh yeah, Fate had his number. And she was toying with him...*again*. Holding a frosty cold one underneath his nose and then running away....snickering...evilly.

"Once, just once, " Methos muttered as he marched away from them, "I wish Ares was my patron saint."

Mac burst out laughing.

"You are *so* dead, Highlander." Revenge glittered in his eyes.

"You know..." Daniel stated the obvious, "I get the feeling you two know each other."

"Oh yes, *Dr.* Jackson. Quite well." Methos snorted.

Daniel cringed at the promise of retribution in Adam's voice. Chuckling, Duncan dragged the sputtering Archaeologist after the world's most elusive (and exasperating) immortal.

~~~

Sometimes its better when our pasts stay buried.

Then again, sometimes in the inky light of the pre-dawn, we see our dreams come alive once more.

And that gives us one more thread to hold on to.

~~~
Methos was furious. 'Looking for an antiquity' my ass. What was the Highlander up to? What was he doing here?

"Well, Mac. You found me. Congratulations. And to what do I owe this honour?"

"Just thought I'd drop in and see an old friend."

"You never 'just drop in', MacLeod."

"This time I did."

"Why?"

"Because I felt like it. I haven't seen you in over two years, Methos."

"The name is Adam," Methos hissed. "And don't forget it, Highlander."

"Okay, Adam…"

"Feeling your age?"

"Something like that."

"Well, I don't have time to *reminisce* right now. I'm busy. Why don't you make an appointment with my secretary and I'll get back to you. In say, in a century or two. If you're still alive."

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have walked off like that."

"No, you shouldn't have. But then again, I'm not your keeper, nor your lover. No, I'm just someone you know. Oh that's right! You don't know who or what I am. You don't have to explain yourself to me."

"Methos…"

"I told you, MacLeod. My name is Adam. Adam Pierson in case you've forgotten. Methos is dead. Buried. Gone. Like I want you to be. Right now.

~~~

Jack spied Daniel's lover digging in one of the grids practically spitting at the newest arrival to camp. 'So, that's the way it was.' The man had a string of lovers all over the world. One of them, not too happy at the moment. The tall foreigner stalked off, leaving Jack free to make some inquiries of his own.

"What's Daniel mean to you?"

Methos relaxed. It wasn't Duncan. With a sardonic grin, he continued working on brushing the dirt off of a piece of pottery he was currently removing from the ground. "He's a friend. What's Daniel to *you*?"

"None of your damn business."

"Oooh…touchy, touchy. "

"I'm warning you. Stay away from Daniel. "

"Or what, Jack? You'll shoot me? I'm *so* scared."

"Look Lothario, I don't know what your game is, but you keep Daniel out of it."

"What makes you so sure I'm playing a game? Maybe I just like his company."

"Oh, the same way you like that long-haired bureaucrat?"

"No, the two are entirely separate *issues*. If you want Daniel, you're going to have to fight for him."

"Daniel is just my friend."

"So you've said before. Not that I believe you."

"Believe what you want. Just stay away from him."

"No."

This was too much. Jack paced around the grid. He had to get rid of this man.

"So...what do you say, Jack? Are you up to the challenge?"

Jack studied the man for some sort of trickery. He had something up his sleeve, but Jack didn't know what. His boneless sprawl gave little away.

"You want to know, don't you?" Methos leaned forward drawing Jack into his carefully spun web. "Want to know what it feels like to have him writhing under you. What his skin feels like. How his moans fill the room. You don't fool me. I know your type."

The words drifted over Jack, reminding him of dreams he'd forgotten. Dreams he repressed. Things that could never be.

"Well?"

Jack scowled at the annoying man. "If that's what it takes to make you disappear."

"Now what would be the fun in that? Let the games begin." Methos pulled the pottery from the ground carefully, and rose. "Oh, by the way. Daniel will be on the dunes tonight. He's there every night." And with a secretive smile, Methos sauntered to the tables, placing his find with the rest.

Jack knew he had just been dismissed.

~~~

Daniel sat hunched over his computer inputting the latest results of the carbon dating lab testing. They had found several more objects, mostly pottery today, all from the same time period...a little over 5000 years ago. The book, resting on the table caught his attention again. Perfectly preserved and for the moment sealed against damage from the sun, wind and elements.

The shock of finding it ran through him again. Latin. But nothing in the dig matched. Nothing. And they were looking hard. Hieroglyphics abounded, but nothing in any form of Latin. What was the book doing here? And how had it managed to get buried here? Who wrote it? What planet did they come from?

At this point, Daniel didn't have any doubt that the book was alien in origin. Latin wouldn't appear for another thousand years, so that left, who? The Rhodes Scholars most likely, but what happened to them? He couldn't find a reference in Budge or Faulkner. He'd have to dig deeper into the historical records. There had to be something, somewhere.

Frustrated, Daniel rolled his shoulders back, loosening his muscles. A hand crept up along his neck massaging at the same time.

'This sitting on a box thing sucks.' Sore and tired, he glared at the world.  Looking out over the camp he imagined that this morning would disappear.  That Jack and Sam were happily traipsing across the Universe and that he was snuggled in his tent with his oh so willing bed mate.

Sighing, he rose from his task and headed for the dunes. He needed to think, desperately think.

'I want you to come back with me.' Jack's words repeated in his head.  Just that, after Daniel's little outburst this morning, that's all Jack had left to say.  Caught momentarily distracted at the dig, Jack touched his arm, spoke those fateful words and walked back to base camp.

Go back? Could he really do that? Walk back into the SGC as if he'd never left. Work with Jack every day? See him, hear him, smell that spicy scent that he used? The laughter in his voice as he teased Sam, or Teal'c, or himself for that matter? Those small touches on his arm, or ruffling his hair? Could he survive being near Jack again, and knowing it wasn't close enough? And what about Jack? Would Jack be able to live with knowing about this side of his personality? Could Jack still work with him? How was this going to change their relationship?

"Thought I'd find you up here."

"Adam!"

"Rough day?"

"You could say that."  It was a bitter, mirthless laugh that spilled forth into the night.

"Life's short, Daniel. Don't waste it."

Daniel turned on his friend, his brilliant blue eyes flashing in anger.

"You think I don't know that, Adam?" He hissed. "I'm here in the middle of this God forsaken desert just to feel alive again. To feel like I'm accomplishing something. Doing something that will mean something to anyone in the years to come. I'm tired of being shot, shocked, burned, and beat up. I've lost my wife, any chance of happiness with her people, people I had considered my own. The first family I've had since my parents died. I've lost her child to the fucking universe. And to top everything off, I love a man who is oblivious to that fact and committed to being straight whether he feels anything for me at all or not." His hands flew around in the air, "And not one 'thank you', 'we need you', 'oh great job by the way, Jackson'."

"So you tell me, Adam. Exactly what part of my life am I wasting?" With that Daniel stood.

"Daniel wait..." Shit!

He turned, so angry he nearly ran over Jack who had heard the entire thing and slid on the sand. 'Oh, no, no, no, no, no.' Arms flailing, Daniel hit the ground hard, Jack falling down next to him; his feet having become entangled with Daniel's.

Leaning on his arm, Jack looked over at Daniel, his eyes incredibly sad. "So...that's why you left."

"I'm sorry, Jack. You were never meant to hear that." Daniel held his breath.

"Which part? The part about you loosing your family? The part about you feeling unwanted at work? Or the part about you..."

"Loving you?"

"Yeah."

"All of it."

"Why?"

"Look, it's long and complicated, Jack."

"Yeah, well. We do need you, Daniel. Especially right now."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because?"

"Yeah, because." Jack looked over at Adam significantly.  "We need you to do what you always do. Put us back together."

"Oh."

"You did do a great job, Daniel. The best." Jack patted him on the shoulder and walked away.

"Damn." Daniel fell back against the sand, pounding his head on the soft earth.

"You can say that again."

"Damn, damn, damn, damn."

"I said 'again', not reduce your vocabulary to one word."

"Only you, Adam. " Daniel snickered, gazing up at the stars. "Only you."

"Well, the cats out of the bag, so to speak."

"You could say that."

"I just did."

Chuckling, Daniel rolled over on his stomach. "I swear you are trying to make me laugh on purpose."

"Is it working?"

"Yes."

"So...?"

"What?"

"This morning, what happened?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing!"

"No, nothing. I refused to discuss it."

"I take it your Colonel didn't react kindly to that."

"That's putting it mildly. You can't tell me the whole camp didn't heart that argument?"

"Ah, intrepid assistant that I am, I hastened the troops into the site dragging along that delightful creature the Colonel brought with him. I figured time alone was in order."

"uh, thanks." Daniel blushed, half in embarrassment, half in pleasure.

"So, what's he doing here?"

"He was sent to 'collect' me. Seems our book is of interest to them." Daniel hurled a rock into the night sky.

"And you want to do what?"

'Oh, I don't know what I want, Adam. I was just starting to get comfortable here. Felt like I was accomplishing something, and here comes Jack, not as a friend but because he has to."

"And the book?"

"Well, if I do go, would you be willing to come along? I mean, I know I can translate it, but if the book's that important, you'd be the more likely candidate. Ancient Latin is like a second language to you. I've seen your journals. Half the thing is written in it. Which I've been meaning to ask you about."

"Can you think of a better way to retain your language skills?"

Laughing..."No."

"So, which branch of the service do you work for? Or should I say what government project?"

Daniel sputtered, "I, uh, can't say."

"I've been around long enough to know how these *secrets* of government work." Methos smirked at the double meaning within his own words.

"I have to talk to Jack first. And that's not going to be fun. After today, if he looks at me I'll be lucky.  Let alone, let me drag you along."

"Sitting here isn't going to accomplish anything."

"I'm trying to decide what to say."

"Well, I think it's about time you tried talking to *him*."

"You're right. See you later, Adam?"

"Sure. I think I'll go find that mate of yours, Samantha. Has such a lovely ring to it, don't you think?"

"I think Sam would die laughing if she heard you say that."

"Hmm...not the romantic type?"

"Too dedicated to her job." Daniel grinned. "Oh, and Adam?"

"Yes?"

"You never said yes or no?"

"No, I didn't, did I."

~~~