Salvation - Preservation or deliverance from difficulty.

-October 2000-

"Physically, I can heal him, General. Possible renal failure, abnormal enzyme levels, mild convulsions. Frankly, I'm more concerned with his mind at the moment. He was held by the Goa'uld for over a year. What they did to him...well, it isn't pretty."

I wake up to the sound of voices heard from miles away. Sluggish, like hearing through water. Can't lift my hands and the world keeps fucking moving. Where the hell am I? Why can't I move? Crap, deja vu. Niirti. Orders. Kill SG-1. Did I...?

"Is there any possibility that he can return to active duty?" I know that voice. Can't be real. This isn't real. Just need to get free. I test the restraints. If I just jerk hard enough, I can get my hand free.

Someone's coming closer. Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me. You can't hold me! I want to demand that these traitors let me go, but all that comes out is some garbled whisper. I sound like a frog with rocks in its throat.

"I think our patient is awake, General."

" Colonel O'Neill, glad to see you're awake son." That voice again. Not real. Not real. This is all a trick. A fucking test. "How are you feeling?"

Who? Oh me. I'm just dandy. Let me go. Now.

"General, I don't think the Colonel can speak just yet. Why don't we let him sleep and take this conversation to my office?"

Yeah, that's right. Run away. As soon as I get my strength back, you're all dead. As they walk away and I notice a third person that'd been standing in the background watching.

The traitor.

The one responsible for my failure. My capture. I have a special place for her reserved in My Mistress' torture chamber.

"Just how long have you known that Colonel O'Neill was alive?" When I'm done with her, there won't be a thing left of Anise for the Tok'ra to bury. It will be slow and painfully. I'll find their lair and kill them all.

"There was nothing we could have done, General Hammond, but we can use him to stop Apophis and Niirti." Not in this lifetime, bitch.

The door shuts behind them and I'm left with some idiot trying to force ice into my mouth. If I wanted ice, I would have asked for it. Get the fuck away from me. I close my eyes and block out his voice. I know what I need to do. Sleep now and plan. In a few hours, they'll be moving me. I'll need my strength.

~~~

Three days. I've been trapped in this nightmare for three fucking days. And they're back again with determined looks plastered all over their faces. Doesn't anyone read the handbook?

"Well if you have any suggestions, I'd be glad to hear them."

"What about the Nox, General?"

I don't know what they expect to accomplish with this folly. It's too late for me. I stare outside the door and all I see is the innocence around me; Sam so hopeful, Teal'c so prepared to work and Daniel so lost, so out of his league. Can't you see Dannyboy, Jack no longer exists.

You don't want to see do you? It's so much easier for you all to believe there is hope for the damned.

What stories shall I tell you with today? Do you want to hear how I sank to my knees and begged Apophis to make me his? Or how I killed in his name? What would horrify you the most, to know I gave myself willingly or that I enjoy what I do?

"Please step away from the door Colonel O'Neill." Or what Teal'c, you going to blast me with that Zat? I dare you. Go ahead. I'll even stick my face in the door so you can't miss.

"My name is Satada Minuh." When will these people get it through their tiny little brains? I have a new name. I'm happy. I. Don't. Want. To. Be. Saved. "I am Et'Sabit Odalisque."

Surprised you didn't I, Shol'va.

"What? Teal'c? What is he talking about?" I wait for Daniel's face to fall. I know how these people think. I have to hit them hard and fast. Keep them off-balance. Love that look of disgust, Teal'c.

"Colonel O'Neill has given himself as property to Apophis."

"What?" Daniel is more confused than anything else. You must not have told him about that little bit of Jaffa society, Teal'c. I've learned a lot while I've been away. How could you give it up? All that power. All that control. You could have had the world at your feet.

"Property? There's no way the colonel would have consented to becoming anyone's property Teal'c. He was drugged or something." Finally, a comment from the peanut gallery. I was wondering when Sam's brain was going to kick in.

"The fact remains MajorCarter, Colonel O'Neill now belongs to Apophis." Not going to tell them the rest? Oh, this is going to be good. Let me do it for you.

The world suddenly goes black.

~~~

Ow. Ow, ow, ow. Shit that hurt. Double whammy. I'll have to note that in the handbook, a zat blast and a metal door to the head at the same time work wonders for taking an opponent down quick.

"O'Neill."

Make that two zat blasts. Always get them while they're down.

"You will refer to me as Et'Sabit, or not at all." Ow! God damn it! "Touch me again and I will kill you where you stand."

"You will not speak of Apophis in my presence again." He gets in my face, making his point with his attitude as much as his words. I'm impressed. Seems as if Teal'c has learned a few new tricks since I've been gone.

"Oh? I thought you wanted to know all about it, Shol'va."

I stand up, shaking off the ringing in my ears. Shouldn't have taught him how to box. Guy's got a right hook like you wouldn't believe. Never show weakness. Never.

"I am fully aware of what the position entails, O'Neill."

"Et'Sabit."

"O'Neill." We get into a staring contest, but I'm going to win. No traitor to my God is going to make me back down, even if my head is still spinning.

"Teal'c?" Fuck.

"DanielJackson." The big guy hasn't taken his eyes off me.

"The General wants us in the Briefing Room." One nod of his head and he's out the door.

"I shall return, O'Neill." I think I underestimated the Shol'va's resolve. I may have to play along.

"Jack?"

I turn my back on the door. Why do these people insist on calling me by that name? I think I will whip it into their skins just before I kill them. "My name is Satada Minuh."

"Jack, it's me, Daniel." I can just see the big puppy dog eyes, like some disgustingly furry creature that makes you do just about anything to wipe that look away. I refuse to see him. I'm not falling for false apologies.

"I know who you are, Tau'ri."

"Jack. Look at me." He demands softly. I can't stand that voice. I remember it from my nightmares. From my dreams. It's too late, Dannyboy. You can't save me. Salvation isn't in the cards.

"I don't waste time on dead men, Jackson." I lie down on the bed, with my hands under my head, and stare at the bunk above me. Eventually he'll go away. He has a meeting with the General and I have an escape to plan.

~~~