Damnation - To condemn to everlasting punishment or a similar fate; doom.

-Two weeks later-

So nice of Daniel to leave his pen here. I don't think he'll need it anymore. I take it apart, pulling out the spring and snap the clip off the end. There's more than one way out of a dungeon. I've learned that lesson the hard way. Bending the clip and flattening out the spring, I get to work on the lock. The SP disappears when the klaxons continue to go off. It's just the chance I've been waiting for.

I had to hide the pen in a hole along the mattress seam since I'm not supposed to have anything that might be used as a weapon. He hasn't noticed it missing yet. I can be an extremely patient man when I need to be.

I've been hiding the drugs there too. The orderlies have grown lax and after the first few times when I was such a good patient they didn't wait to see the drugs take effect. It's a simple matter of spitting the pills up and hiding them. I can't take the chance of anyone finding them in the head and with the camera following my every move. It would have been impossible.

Slipping the spring into the lock and holding the lock still with the clip, I jiggle the spring around until I feel the tumbler slip and turn. With a snick, the door opens and I'm free. Free.

Time to take out the cameras.

With all the activity going on, no one notices yet another person in uniform hurrying down the hallway. Takes about five minutes to get to the Security Office and the alarm has been set off yet. My luck is still holding. Takes a second to pick the lock on the Security Office and I'm in. The SP doesn't even notice me. He's too busy watching the cameras focused on the action in the Gateroom. Interesting. Anise. Martouf. Blood. Gunfire.

A simple twist of his neck and the guard is dead. I wish I had the time to do it properly, but blood is not a good look when you're trying to blend in. I hit erase on all the cameras, take the SP's gun, and cross the wires on the fuse panel. That will take care of the cameras for a few hours at least. I've got two hours tops to find a way out of here.

~~~

It's just like the old days. I can feel the excitement in the air. Like the day we went to Hell and everyone but me came back. I waited. Waited for over a year to be saved. No one came. They left me there to be tortured and killed by Apophis.

Expendable.

A commodity to be used and brought back when there was something to be gained. Two weeks stuck in an Iraqi desert, my leg broken, and my last memory at the time was seeing Cromwell's face as the helo took off without me. He smiled.

Fuck them all.

"For once the Tau'ri are useful." I can still hear Apophis' voice taunting me as he dragged me to Sokar's feet. If it wasn't for my groan of pain, I could have been Sokar's boytoy instead of Apophis. I wonder if one is really worse than the other. Does it really matter who I belong to?

"What is this?"

"I have brought you a gift." That's right, monkey breath, pay attention to me. Ignore the Snakehead behind you with a knife in his hand. Slice. Dice. No more Mr. Nice Guy and Apophis is dragging me off to the escape pods.

I really wish he'd left me there.

~~~

Uh oh. I'm so fucked if I don't find a way out of this hallway. Eventually the trail of dead bodies is going to lead back to me and someone will figure out I'm missing. And this one wouldn't die quietly. Door. Need a door. Tau'ri blood all over my clothes. Yes! The showers.

Dragging the dead guard behind me, I hide him behind some lockers and start looking for a shirt to change into. It takes a second before it sinks in that this is SG-1's locker room. Daniel. Daniel always keeps a spare. I'm praying his habits haven't changed and sure enough, he's got one. As I'm changing, I hear the door open, grab the gun off the shelf, and turn around. Damn it all to hell. Fuck, Daniel. Are you everywhere?

"Oh my god, Jack. What did they do to you?"

Tears? For me? Don't waste your time. So I have a few scars. Big deal. I earned each one the hard way. A mark of defiance. A badge of honor. A lesson in humility. A symbol earned for Apophis, in his name.

"Nothing I didn't ask for, Daniel."

He seems a little shell shocked. Don't like seeing the evidence of your crimes, Daniel? You should have just killed me when you had the chance. Pointing the gun at the door and grabbing his arm, I drag Daniel out into the deserted hallway. "Come on, Geekboy. We've got a Gate to catch." I press the gun in his back. "And don't even think of trying to call for help or I'll kill you where you stand."

~~~

Life moves in yet another cycle. Spin, spin, spin, turn, turn, turn. Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids. My head is just a jumbled mess of cartoons, commercials, smiling faces, and nightmares. Follow the yellow brick road. Luke, I am your father. Use the force!

"Jack."

No wait, it was a truck wasn't it? Oh what the hell do I know? I never saw the damn movie in the first place. Movie. A movie. It was called...

"Jack."

No, it wasn't called Jack. Who the hell is Jack? Me. I'm Jack. Oh fuck. I'm Jack. Colonel Jack O'Neill, United States Air Force. NO, DON'T TOUCH ME. I'm Jack. I'm Jack. I'm Jack. I'm Jack. I am Jack. I don't want to be Jack.

"Jack! Wait!"

I run for the control room dodging personnel on my way. The confusion from the past two hours is still working in my favor and I lose Daniel down one of the endless hallways. I've got maybe five minutes to make it to the Gateroom. I can do it.

I get there and Lady Luck is shining on me again. Gateguy and a tech are the only ones in the room. Can't use the gun. Too many people in the hallways. One, two, three and they are on their knees dead. Necks broken. Never knew what hit them. And I don't even need a code to open the Gate. The dialing program has already been started. Just have to put in the coordinates for Chulak and I'm home free.

"Jack." Fuck.

"Jack doesn't exist anymore."

"Yes, you do, Jack! Just stop!" Daniel pulls me away from the board as the last symbol locks in place. "Talk to me."

"No time. Why don't you drop by the Palace one day, Jackson." I look him up and down. "I'm sure My Mistress could find something to do with you."

Daniel pulled away as if he'd been burned and asshole that I am, I have to take advantage of it. I push him against the bulkhead, grinding my hips against his and take his mouth hard. He's hard and full of life. I can feel the need singing through my blood. Take, take, take. Fuck, I remember this. Remember how good it felt. He groans into my mouth and his hands roam over my back, pulling me close. It's enough to make me want to forget about the Gate, but I can't. Not now. Not this close to getting away.

Do you think you can win me over with sex, Daniel? Hey, I'm easy, but not that easy. I remember this like it was yesterday. That's one thing I never forgot, how it felt to be inside you. How it felt to make love to you. But it didn't save me in the end. I am still a monster. You couldn't save me then, and you can't save me now. Time to forget all over again.

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs in response to the Gate alarm and slam Daniel's head against the wall long enough to stun him. I'm outta time. I tear the control panel free, toss it on the floor, and run. They can't shut the Gate off. They have to cut the circuit breakers.

The Gate is open and waiting. It's my last, best chance for escape.

~~~