I. Part Man sollte ihm Maine und Anjou Uebergeben. 1. Chapter Maybe I should have stayed overnight in my brother's house in North-Virginia. It was a Scully-family meeting, because of my brother's birthday. He has been over-protective since Emily, providing me with an overload of family feelings - until I get headaches. I retired before the party ended at about 10 p.m. - just wanted 2 or 3 hours for myself, really, I don't remember what I intended to do. It's not important. Not any more... Now that I know after my abduction - I will never have my own family. After driving through some heavy early spring rain, I finally reach my apartment, I close the door carefully behind me, throw away my cold, humid clothes and jump into a casual velvet pyjama. I get a glass of red Italian wine (I shouldn't do this with my headache! It's becoming a habit!) and look searchingly over my collection of classical music when my doorbell buzzes urgently. I know, I know, *real* ladies ignore nightly interrupts in general. But I'm a policewoman and sometimes it's official. Oh, and I'm curious. Through the video monitors I see Alex Krycek standing at the front door - carrying a child on his arms - a 4 year-old boy, sobbing. "Dana, this little man needs your help. Please, open the door." Would you believe - I do it... I open the door for one of the most FBI- wanted criminals without thinking for a tiny second... and without even wondering why he uses my first name. Okay, I have to admit I knew Alex Krycek before I was assigned to the x-files. At least he looks civilized, he wears a black suit and black shirt. I'm not fearful in general - but maybe in this case I should be. Really, I think it's not life-threatening: Krycek must be grateful because I prevented him from being shot two years ago. I can see him walking up to the elevator, carrying the boy. The presence of the child makes him look harmless. Alex Krycek was a fellow-student in one of the FBI-training courses in Quantico. During the training I was the only girl in the class and I wanted to prove that I was the best. I finished the course in second place - behind Krycek. Involuntarily I had the attention of most of the male students but Krycek didn't notice me at all. Not that I was particularly interested in dates or affairs, generally I'm strict with those things. At that time I began to think about Krycek. Everybody tried to involve me in conversations, why not him? It became an obsession. Later neither of us ever mentioned this training course when we accidentally met. Why do I always have the feeling of embarrassment when I remember that training-course? His further professional ways are a complete mystery to me. I was surprised to see him involved in several x-files cases: A man with his qualifications shouldn't be working for a minor department and be assigned to some - not really serious - x-files investigations. For me, it's different. I didn't follow my family's choices and I regard my job as some kind of self-punishment I have imposed on me. But when Alex Krycek appeared I was alarmed: For the first time I had the impression that there could be more behind those files than just pompous hoaxes. When he vanished mysteriously one day I first thought it was mainly for reasons of contempt. Well that was my interpretation at that time. Meanwhile I believe that if anyone can reveal the truth about x-files, it must be Krycek. He still seems to know more about the cases than anyone in Skinner's department, he's always one step ahead. After the murder of Duane Barry I simply accepted the interpretation that he's a traitor - reluctantly. Anyway, I preferred to leave every Krycek-related case to my colleagues. They assume, I hate him for attempting to murder me and for murdering my sister. In reality, I'm just trying not to think about him for hours and hours. Still, I'm rather sure Krycek wasn't the murderer. But I strongly believe that he is - in a way - responsible for my abduction and when I let him in I hope to get more information about it. When I avoided him in the past, it doesn't mean that I didn't watch him. You may call me weird but... I have to admit that I find him attractive. Not that this means anything - but...In Krycek I see much power and even sensitivity at work - even if it's criminal energy. 2. Chapter Krycek walks through the door, heading to me, fixing me with his eyes, slightly doubtful. He kisses me with cool lips on my cheek - too close if you ask me! - and hands the boy over to my arms. The child is wet and heavy and - so cute! "Hi Dana, this is your son. And - by the way - he is my son, too." If I hadn't the headache I would feel how these words hit my brain like a crack. I simply stare at Alex Krycek with eyes and mouth open wordlessly. Krycek seems to be worried. I never saw him so concerned. In the next second the child starts to complain. "He's hungry and tired. We both need a safe place to stay for the night." He turns to the child. "Alex, you were pestering me to see your mother: This is Dana, say 'hallo' to her." So *my son* is called Alex! He looks into my eyes. "Hi, Dana!" "Hi," my answer sounds hoarse as I try hard to be nice. I like it when children say *mommy* to their mother - well, I don't even know if I am his mother. I put him on his feet and he runs back to his father. He indeed has Krycek's mouth and nose. But the pale blue eyes and fair hair! Obviously Krycek has a good relationship with his son... Going into the kitchen, I find my voice again. "But if I'm his mother (which must be proven): What makes you think my place is safe? Don't you think that I'll be a suspect person for the people you are hiding from?" They both sit down at the table, little Alex calms down when he gets an orange juice to drink and sees me preparing some food. "I made them believe that I hate you and kept the existence of your son secret from you. And - by the way - it is proven - I mean he is your son. I did some research to reassure myself. I've stolen the files with Alex' DNA-test from their archives." He throws some rather new-looking files on my kitchen-table. "I'm impressed! You can read a DNA-test?" My voice sounds more cheeky than I intended. I don't dare ask him if it's true that he hates me. "Come on, Dana! You know nothing about me. Before I came to Quantico I achieved a degree in biology. And there's one thing I can reveal to you: I know more about biology than any other human being!" I decide to ignore the megalomaniac tone. But I remember AD Skinner had mentioned that it was Krycek who imported some vaccine against the black oil infection from Russia. I didn't know he had a degree. I offer them a plate with canapes which I brought from my brother's party and a bowl of fruit. I have some pieces of a birthday cake in my refrigerator, but I'm not sure whether it would be sufficient. Really, I'm not used to feeding two males at a time! Krycek is so polite to give his son (my son!) the first choice. They empty my cola and orange juice supply within five minutes. If a stranger would peer into my kitchen he could mistake the whole scene as an idyllic soap opera family. Okay, it's a lunatic thought. Do I want to see it that way? First of all I have to convince myself that it's not. "Come on, Krycek, tell me about the child. Who has raised him? Where are you going with him?" "Yeah, maybe you are ready for your part of the story." "Oh, how nice! I'm part of your story!" He continues casually. "Alex was raised in a family in England together with the grandchildren of this well-manicured Englishman. The Englishman was kind of a mentor to me, he encouraged me to become something like a father to the boy. I was allowed to visit my son whenever I wanted." His explanation relieves me in a way. Alex II looks like a normal happy child, obviously he wasn't the subject of any scientific experiment... "After the death of the Englishman the Consortium - well part of the Consortium - abducted Alex from his guest family and accommodated him in one of their child care institutions - without my knowledge. I don't know if they have plans with him. When I found out I decided to carry him off. You must admit that I can't go into my apartment. Even the hotels in Washington and abroad aren't safe enough". I'm growing less comfortable with the child listening to the subject. I suggest that he lay down. Krycek agrees and I decide to put him in my own king sized bed. I provide Alex II with one of my t-shirts for the night. He looks thankful. "Dana, are you my *real* mother'? I've been looking for you for soo long!" "Yes, it looks like I'm your mother. I didn't know it until today!" "I think I like you!" I smirk. Basics for a mother-son relationship! Krycek doesn't leave us for a moment. He watches me suspiciously - as if I would call the FBI! Somehow he makes me nervous. Well okay, I *am* a policewoman. But does he suspect me to play the cops and robbers game? I can do it if he wants... 3. Chapter When I close my bedroom door, I start the interrogation. "Krycek, please go on! You owe me an explanation!" My voice control fails: it sounds too shrill. "Explanation for what?!" "Why me? Why you?! Why do I have a child? I can't remember doing anything to have a child. I'm sorry but this is not what I would call a catholic girl's dream!" I think I have reasons to become sarcastic. "This explanation would go very far. It's better for you if you don't know too much." He becomes short. "Aww, Alex Krycek cares for me, sorry but that's something new to me!" His face doesn't show the slightest movement. "Hey Alex, this mystery game makes me sick." Did I really say Alex? But this time I sound a tiny bit nicer. "Yeah, maybe it's time for you to get some background information. But I'm not so sure if you really want to know the truth about it." "Oh, gracious! You are condescending to give the mother of your child some enlightenment!" Really, if you know how cagey those guys are. "When I started working for the FBI I had a special assignment. Part of my job was to ... hum ... mate with you. The Consortium has several biological research programs on alien and human genetic structures. The project I belonged to at that time was the improvement of human genetic material. We might need the fittest human beings for resistance against alien invasions." Biological Programs? In connection with Emily I have suspected something like that but generally I doubted those paranoid assumptions... "Our interest for you was simply genetic, you're a member of an ancient warrior's family. You asked why I was part of the project. Me, I'm just an international *bastard*, kind of a half-breed, the most successful species in human history, in America, in every country of the world." For God's sake, yes! "Well, I have been watching you in Quantico. You were very aware of male recognition although you'd never admit it. I thought you were easy. But for some reason you treated me cocky. Even if I liked you: I quickly lost interest to think about the reasons why you rejected me. Hey, patience is not one of my strengths! I thought this was an imposition! It didn't work and my employers put me under pressure. You became a problem for me..." Yes. If my memory works well enough... The first time I met him in connection with an x-files case, I remember I brushed him off - kind of revenge. Serves him right. Why can't I feel the triumph? "Then you decided to abduct me? I suspected you to be responsible!" "Well, yes, I have to admit that. But then I had a much bigger problem: I had to protect you. One cigarette-smoking man intended to kill you. You knew too much. And you didn't fulfill your assignment: the reports you delivered were poor. He wanted to make an example. The Englishman informed me that the bastard had hired Luis Cardinal for the job. I could manage to build a team with him at that time. I was successful in saving you - but unfortunately I couldn't prevent him from murdering your sister. I'm sorry for that. Yeah, really I feel responsible for that!" No. I shake my head. The Krycek version of the story doesn't convince me at all! This sounds too easy for me. All sadness and guilt feelings of the past are stirred up again. My face must be a stone mask of bitterness. "Come on, Dana Scully, you had an assignment with him. Remember your first meeting in the FBI Office? Partial amnesia?" "Okay, okay. What do you expect. I didn't know what was going on at that time. Was it all my fault? Should I be grateful to you?" My voice becomes edgy. "Hey, my whole trouble began when I saved you from being killed. But, believe me, *I* knew what I was doing. You're using me as a kind of punching bag! If you have a guilt problem - work it out. But stop blaming me for things I haven't done! I'm ready to take my part of the responsibilities, but you, oh no, you make it too easy for yourself!" "Stop this! Are you my psychologist? I didn't ask for your advice and I don't need it! And - did I get you right: Who are you to judge me?? This debate grows louder. Thinking of the child sleeping in the bedroom I calm down my voice. I glimpse at Krycek's face and see an intense glare of hate. "And besides - how can anyone in the civilized world expect that an assignment is so - life-threatening?" Alex laughs out sarcastically. "That's not even a question. Your lack of experience is an explanation but no excuse! Sometimes you remind me of a nice urban lady in a nine-to-five-job." Smartass! Oh, shit, I've made a mistake! I have to come back to a more reasonable level of arguments. "Okay, maybe you are trying to give a clearer view into your motivation. Doesn't mean I appreciate it. I need to have more information about my abduction. Please, come to the point!" Alex looks at me doubtfully. As if he couldn't trust me... "Let's make this clear: I'm not talking about me. This is about you: Yes I decided to abduct you, what choice did I have?" "Maybe at least the choice to refuse the abduction!" "No. You don't listen to me. I told you it was my decision. I've found the program convincing and I wanted the child. And I had to be quick - I needed one project with a successful result! After Cardinal abducted you I took you to the Consortium Hospital. My only purpose was to launch an In-Vitro-Fertilization." "Must be a gigantic support for the male ego to have a child without the inconvenience of the female part of it! What do you know about Emily?" He overhears the reproach gracefully. "Err, Emily I heard about her. That's a delicate point. I must admit: the situation grew out of control. Obviously they needed you for other purposes... I didn't know Emily personally." "I cannot believe you expect me to buy this! Who is *they*? You didn't know about their plans with me? What have they done to me?" "Remember I had just started the job and at that time I didn't know so much, no clue who *they* were in your case. Meanwhile I know there is another extended program on human-alien hybrid research. Hey, don't look at me so accusing! Some of the results are quite useful... Some *aliens* are even friends. I talk about them in terms of friends or enemies." I must have shaken my head in disbelief. "Yeah, some are friends. Like - on the other hand - I am an alien to you. As I'm a biologist I have an interest to work with *my friends* on human-alien experiments. Oh no, not that skeptical look again! Why do I tell you everything and you don't believe me? You look at me, but you don't seem to see me, otherwise you would have realized my newly grown left arm!" Suddenly it dawns on me that Skinner mentioned something about Krycek's lost arm "I can't remember having seen you one-armed. Maybe I didn't want to see you that way. Really I don't know. Please, don't expect me to take it for granted. All I want to know for today is what they did to me!" "You don't want to believe me, you close your eyes before the facts and now you ask me what they have done to you? I thought you'd answer that question to me." "Hey Alex, I'm not letting you get away with that! You are trying to tell me that my case is comparable to other alien abduction stories. And that nobody is really responsible..." I felt absolutely no inclination to tell him details about my medical reports. "That's not the right answer." "Maybe you're not the right person to get an answer..." "Good. Let's end this conversation. It's quite useless. I have to get up early in the morning." "Awww. The invulnerable and almighty Alex Krycek becomes sensitive... I thought nobody can ever irritate you. Answer me one personal question: How could you do that to me?! Have you ever thought about asking me before ... Have you ever thought about ... what I feel? All I want to hear is an apology!" Again too much noise. "You were not supposed to be hurt. What did I do to you? I just took one living cell for the growth of an embryo. Shall I open the bedroom door? Do you want to tell the child that he's a result of my mistake? What would he think about your accusations? He's your son - but only in a biological way! If you don't want him, forget him! But don't expect me to apologize for him!" "Krycek, your answers are not reasonable. Weird attempt, but it's useless to bring the child into the debate. How can I develop positive feelings to him when I wasn't even pregnant?" "Oh no, did I get you right? I cannot believe it. You have just accused me for not fucking you. Hey, this argument pisses me off. I'm not gonna talk anymore." Pissed off. That's what I am. "Listen, Alex Krycek, you're a creep. Nobody can understand your actions. You cannot be taken serious. Maybe I should have called a mental institution..." "Okay, I've heard you!" 4. Chapter This discussion has come to an end. When I get up my headache returns. Looks like *every* attempt of a conversation with Alex Krycek is a failure. Before I can say anything he makes a decision. "You can sleep with the child. I'll take the rocking chair in your bedroom." Okay, so I'm kept under surveillance. Of course, what have I expected. I'm the policewoman, he's the criminal. When he sits down in the chair I hear the knocking of a weapon on the wooden back. Luckily I have my pyjama on. Carefully I get into my bed and curl around the sleeping child but I can't sleep. Maybe the thought of having a son hasn't settled in my head but he *feels* like my son. I caress him - maybe for the last time in my life. Involuntarily tears run down my face, silently, for God's sake, 'cause Krycek doesn't sleep either. At 4.30 a.m., he gets up quickly, takes his son and slams the door behind them. Krycek didn't say goodbye. It's still dark in this early time of spring. I'm left alone in my apartment... breaking inside. I have to clear up a complicated emotional problem by analyzing. No way to fall asleep again until the FBI-work begins. Oh, no, no, *I* am the good one. I have no guilt problem. I'm the one in the *right*. I only curse when nobody can hear me, I don't run around with men (well thoughts don't count), I don't kill people intentionally, and I keep my promises. Really, I'm on my way becoming a saint one day if I go on like this. Why did this happen to me? And whom in the world can I ask for advice? II. Part "Traeumt er zur Erde, wen, 5. Chapter Tonight I've spent the loneliest evening of my life in my apartment, simply lying on my sofa - again with a glass of wine and can't stop monomaniac thinking and feeling lousy. The DNA-analysis is the proof that Alex II is indeed my son. I decide that this is the truth. I should be more worried about the fact that Alex Krycek is his father. But obviously the child is rather safe under Krycek's protection - safer than Emily was under mine... I should be feeling good because I was morally the winner of the debate. But why do I feel like the loser? Once I heard a horrifying theory: Communication between men and women is as hard as if they live on different planets. In Krycek's case I definitely agree. Yesterday he made a smart remark: He is like an alien to me. Which means on the other hand, he seems to know some aliens better than me - if he knows them. The question remains: What do I want? And what am I expected to do? Usually I can answer these questions for myself. Sometimes, if I can't get personal advice I ask my catholic priest. The church has an opinion on rape, but in my case? The Pope doesn't appreciate artificial insemination, that's for sure. I'm afraid I cannot go to the church. I cannot think coherently. As I am stuck I try to do something distracting like reading, watching tv, reading again, taking a shower, nothing helps. Something else makes me sick. Have I mentioned that I like Alex Krycek? Even if I was shocked yesterday, when I think about it - it's not the worst thing in the world to have a child with him. And the result Alex II was rather convincing, I have to admit. But - I treated him severely. I've never felt so stiff and tense in my life before. And still... I don't know anything about his feelings towards me. He said he wanted the child... whatever that means. To be honest: I didn't give him the chance to say something in that direction. And I was too cowardish to ask... Okay, it was inevitable. Something like the clashing of two cultures. This is my own case and I have a position, I know best what's wrong and what's right for me. That was crystal clear, he must realize that - somehow - even if I was provocative. But does it help me now? Krycek would never accept that I have won the debate... And I have been *fighting* by hurting, not by convincing. Holy shit! 6. Chapter It's shortly before midnight and my cell phone rings - just before I go to sleep. A barkeeper orders me to come by car, my husband needs a lift. Oh, shit, or should I say, luckily, as far as I can see this means only one thing... Now I'm on my way to a pub in Alexandria When I enter the pub, Krycek is sitting at the bar talking with the owner. Err, *talking* is an exaggeration, he's trying not to fall asleep. He's still good looking but... not in shape. "Your husband cannot drive. He gave me your telephone number. Thanks for coming." So when he's drunk he remembers my cell phone number. Shall I be honoured or disgusted? "Okay, let's go then. By the way, can he go?" The bartender helps me to bring him to the car and place him in the front seat. Krycek was his last guest, he closes the bar behind us. "Alex, where do you want to go?" Did I call him Alex, after all? "Home." "C'mon, Alex, where is your home?" "Dunno." I doubt that he can remember his address. What can I do? I drive him to my apartment. Maybe I should have taken him to a hotel. But that thought seems rather stupid. When we reach my apartment building I try to move him to the elevator. I was just reminded of my grandmother. Grandfather was a highly-decorated officer in the army but he liked to cultivate... his Irish drinking habits from time to time. On such days the family had to help getting him into the house. I wish I had a family with me, 'cause Krycek's weight is nearly double mine. At least he is able to put one foot in front of the other. I push him through the door and close it behind me. Krycek leans his back towards the wall for support. When I try to pass him he grasps my wrist and pulls me towards his chest. He kisses me. The kiss is surprisingly soft and careful. Really... I didn't know until now that I wanted this - I kiss him back. As he's shaking a bit, I clench my arms around him to hold him - and to get closer.The kiss becomes greedier. He tastes like beer and alcohol - and smells like smoke and dust - but I'm melting! I could lean on this large chest for the next couple of hours, if you ask me. But no, I can't allow this. This is just a momentary weakness - as if *I* would take advantage of him. He doesn't know his address, he cannot speak or walk, he doesn't know what he's doing. "Dana, listen, I'm ssso sssorry!" He confirms my worst expectations. "But why are you sorry?" "Ev'thing I done to you." Oh my God. That's really not what I wanted. This looks like a substantial drinking man's crisis... "Come on, you're drunk. Hey, *I* must say I'm sorry. Obviously I've hurt you." "You can never hurt me." "Yes I can." "Yes you can." I'll put him under a shower and give him a cup of coffee and hope that it helps. It was easy to lead him into my bathroom but hard for me to get out. He wants me to take the shower with him. I succeed in escaping. I'm on my second *date* with Krycek and it's still not the kind of meeting I would have preferred. I prepare a big black coffee for him. When he leaves the bathroom, he looks a bit better. I forgot to give him a towel, he's managed to put his clothes on but underneath his he's wet. Did I say he looked better? The truth is, he looked exciting. He took my coffee and sipped. "Dana, can you please give me a bed to sleep in, I'm soo tired!" "That's just what I wanted you to ask. Where do you want to sleep?" "I want to sleep in your bed. It's so big. Pleeease, Dana, I'm not doing anything, I'm too sleepy." "Okay, I believe you". He knows the way to my bedroom. He undresses quickly and....slips under the blanket. "Hey, you've seen naked men, you're a doctor." Oops. Anyway, I find it a tiny little bit embarrassing. So what do I do... I can still decide to sleep on the sofa. But I know I won't. At least I go into my bathroom and throw myself into a white silk pyjama. Just have to keep my style. Back in the bedroom, Krycek' s already sleeping. All considerations were in vain, anyway... So I get into the same bed. Even if I'm tired, too, it's not so easy for me to fall asleep. A strange man is sleeping besides me, naked. He's sleeping on his back. My mother used to call this the King's position, because the sleeper looks somehow superior and self-confident. I have always preferred to lie on the side like a foetus. I watch him for a while but if I want to fall asleep I have to turn my back to him. I would be *safe* if I get up earlier than Krycek... 7. Chapter A whisper near my ear wakes me up in the morning. The noise was low and makes my skin shiver. "Good morning Dana. You don't have to wake up. I'm just looking at your perfect back." Then he touches my neck with his hand and moves slowly towards my shoulder. The pyjama is gently pushed away. "I hope you don't mind if I touch your skin - just carefully." He's purring into my ear. I should stop him right now, but I still pretend I' m sleeping. A very soft, very wet kiss is placed right beneath my ear. Ooooh, I moan very slow and very faint, 'cause I'm still sleeping... Meanwhile his hand goes down my arm, he unbuttons my pyjama top. The touch of his hand is slow and experimenting at the beginning and then becomes grasping. Finally he has me under control. He moves closer to me - I can feel his chest muscles on my back. He's hot - he's burning me! I stop my tell-tale breathing... "You're beautiful. You have adorable white skin." He's licking my ear which is sending shivers down my spine. Then he touches my breast. I make an involuntary sound. Of course he knows that I'm awake- but I pretend it just for myself... "Hey Dana, you tell me if you don't want it." I can't tell you when I'm sleeping... My breast reacts immediately to the movement of his hands. I'm afraid every inch of my body is somehow reacting to him and he's absolutely aware of it. His hand goes slowly down until he reaches my belly. He pulls me into his lap. I can feel his erection on my lower back - pointing towards me. His tongue draws a wet trace on one side of my face, from the corner of my eye to the corner of my mouth. "Dana, don't forget to breathe." Smartass! His hand is amazing: for the first it's caressing then it's possessive. The hand slips under my pyjama waistband. It's going further down - and down. Teasingly his thumbnail follows the line between my hips and my legs. Suddenly he grips between my legs with his whole hand... it makes me gasp... it's embarrassingly wet. "Did I get you right - you would like to feel like my wife?" Really, I should have hit him for that question...if only I could think. But the way he is whispering... and the way this miraculous hand is moving... "Dana, I'd love to go on exploring your gorgeous body, may I?" I mumble into my pillow. "Dana, please, or I'll stop!" "Yes. It's yes. The answer to all your questions is yes!" "Then do you want to turn around?" I shake my head slowly. That would be too much. He carefully pulls my pyjama pants over my legs. Then he moves my thigh, and - cannot believe it - enters me from behind. Ohmygod. I can't see him but feel him everywhere. His penis is large but I'm drowning in liquid, it's fitting perfectly. He's started sucking my neck. With one hand he's slowly rubbing my clitoris in circles. And he's moving inside me. I close my eyes and concentrate on the outburst of sensations. Just let myself fall. I get into a mood as if I'm floating above the bed. "Dana... You're an incredibly talented lady..." He goes on with strong movements inside me. The pace is getting faster. "Ooooh, Alex... it's just...you feel soo good..." It's him... yes he is a true descendant of Alexander the Great, Alexander the conqueror. I'm absolutely sure about him... I always loved him...I had reasons why I didn't want to see that - but I just forgot all of them. Feeling him coming brings me to the point...it's like coming back to earth again...together with him. Cosmic orgasm...! He holds me close for a while and we both try to breathe again. Then I withdraw and turn around. Finally I can't wait to see his face. I pull myself on top of his chest and look into widely spaced green eyes. He looks into mine with amazement. "Dana... Tell me the truth. I'm your first lover, aren't I?" "I would have told you - but... Do you think it's embarrassing? Does it matter, anyway?" I try to smirk casually. "Yes, it does. Everything was my fault, I took my time. It's not that I didn't know I should talk to you. I was the coward. Believe me I was really afraid of that conversation..." "Oh. I thought I should be worried about loosing my time..." "I'm just... thinking about how you might feel now: You have a son with me and didn't know. Strange enough. Every time I was watching you I saw a woman waiting for someone..." "Really? Was it so ... obvious?!" "Hmm. Obvious if you wanted to see it that way - like I did. Hey, you' just realized it was me you were waiting for. How does that feel?" I answer without thinking. "Cannot be better." "Can you forgive me and my male ego?" "I can forgive you and more: I can accept your decision. You have given me a son and I wanted a son. I thought I couldn't have children at all. Do you know that through the abduction... I lost my ova?" "Hmm, I've assumed it. I can restitute it." I giggle. "You sound like you promise the stars to me!" "I told you yesterday that it's possible. Please, let me prove it to you!" He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear - with his left hand. "Alex, do you think I was ... abraisive that night?" "Hmm. Of course you were. I understand that. But, Dana, please, don't stop fighting with me! You're sexy like hell when you're fighting..." I grin devilishly. "That's an easy promise!" "Have you noticed: I'm beginning to ask you before I do something to you." "Yep. But I give you something in return: I look at you and listen to you." We both burst out laughing ... before we started again. Face to face - this time. And I was on top. For the first time in five years I was late at work. III. Part "... er wuerde ihr damals nicht ein Teufel erschienen sein, wenn er ihr ["... he wouldn't have appeared as a devil in those days if he didn't seem to her as if he was an angel on his first appearance." 8. Chapter Again I sit in my apartment. And I'm waiting. But this time it's different. Alex hadn't come at the appointed time. Naturally, I'm thinking about the reason. My head doesn't ache anymore and I don't need no glass of wine. But I'm nervous and I'm walking around, like yesterday and the day before. Really, even if I'm inexperienced, I don't believe he regards this as a one-night-stand. To be honest, I'm worried. I'm afraid that something has happened to him and to the child. And I don't know where they are. Thinking about it I realize that I'm a warrior's wife now. I do the same thing my mother and my grandmother had done before. And I have made a decision: Even if everything has changed for me now I'm not going to tell anybody about it. Not Skinner, not even my mother or my brother, well not yet. I'll do my job, as ever. Well, maybe tiny changes in my assignment... a slight rearrangement of loyalties... One thing I could do for Alex was looking into the FBI-files to find out if they are still searching for him. Miraculously he wasn't mentioned anywhere - no charge against him at all. When I check my emails I find his message: "Hi lover, Why do I always have to apologize when I turn to you? Yesterday I received a frightening message from Alex' guest parents. I decided to find a new place for him. Sorry if I missed my appointment with you but I'm sure you'll find that important, too. Alex told me that he loves you and wants to see you soon. He's asked me to give you a big kiss :-* See you later Alex I + II P.S. Please stay in touch. " I'm relieved when I read that. Maybe I should be worried because my son is still in danger. But he is in good hands - I trust Krycek as a hiding professional. And I have a good feeling 'cause he has confirmed my assumption that he takes this more serious than an affair. One thought struck me suddenly: What if Alex Krycek has more than one son? If he was part of the mentioned human genetics improvement program he must have a hundred or more biological children and wives! End |