|
FBI wiretap account The following is a line-by-line unedited account of wiretap number 1202-19-774, as recorded by FBI agents on assignment. After reports of numerous visits by one Alex Krycek over the course of the past few months, a tap was placed on Miss Rhyme Phile's telephone without her knowledge. The Bureau expects to discover evidence of illegal activity and/or felonious occurances whilst Alex Krycek is on the premises. Wiretap approved by A.D. Skinner, 5-30-99. Wiretap date: 5-30-99 Alex Krycek: Listen, Rhyme, we have to talk... Miss Rhyme Phile (currently under investigation for suspected murders, terrorist activity, various underworld alliances, illegal gambling rings, ripping the tags off mattresses, and weapons brokering): Hey, Alex baby, what's shakin'? AK: What did I tell you about using my name on the phone? RP: That it turns you on? AK: (FBI insert note: heavy sighing heard) Well, yes, but use my codename, just to be safe. RP: The Ever-Ready Russian Revolver of Love? AK: Jesus... RP: My Cocked Glock? AK: Rhyme, I swear... RP: Okay, jeez, relax, Alex. "Luscious Leather" it is. AK: I don't know *why* I agreed to that... RP: Because you owe me, babe. AK: Speaking of... RP: Yes? AK: I was wondering if I couldn't...y'know...get a break for a few days. RP: What do you mean? AK: Well, all these jobs I've been doing for you on behalf of that "group" you belong to... (FBI insert note: Suspect belongs to a known terrorist group of crazed women on the Internet. It is unclear what their motives are at this time; further investigation is warranted) RP: The Group takes care of you, Luscious. AK: I know, Rhyme, it's just that... RP: What, you need more sex trysts? AK: No, I'm okay in that department. RP: And didn't we say we would provide numerous erotic romps with one Dana Scully? (FBI insert note: It is unclear what is meant by this. Agent Scully is currently on assignment, gorgeously dressed, on the sands of the Ivory Coast. We expect her assignment to last until Mid-October, possibly early November.) AK: Yes... RP: I think we've been more than accomodating, my dear. Why, some of us have even sent Mulder for your pleasure... (FBI insert note: We aren't touching this one.) AK: All that is true, but I was just wondering if I could get some time to myself for a while. Time to kick back, sip a beer maybe, and relax. RP: Have you been a good boy? AK: You know I have, Rhyme. I've been quite responsive in my duties. RP: You're right. *Quite* responsive. I've been callous, I fear. AK: Callous? RP: Yeah, kinda uncaring, as it were. Poor guy. You've been busy doing much of our dirty work lately. But it has been fun, hasn't it? AK: Oh, yes. RP: You do deserve a rest. I'll pass on the message to the Group. Effective immediately, my Luscious Leather needs a break. AK: Thanks, Rhyme. I won't forget this... RP: Of course you won't, my dear. You'll be needed soon enough. But for now, kick back and have a Jack and Coke on me. The Rat's Nest serves good ones. AK: I will, Rhyme, thanks. RP: And keep out of trouble, Alex. We've had a rotten season, and I'll be beside myself with grief if anything happens to prevent you from visiting more often next year. We really need to see more of each other. AK: Agreed, Rhyme. Take care. RP: You too, Alex. I'll be thinking of you tonight. AK: I'm sure you will... RP: Tease... End phone conversation, 5-30-99 Further wiretaps are encouraged. Alex Krycek is not to be underestimated. Miss Rhyme Phile is also a dangerous and possibly mentally deranged individual. Caution is recommended in any dealings with this frightening woman. Her connections to this so-called "Group" are not to be taken lightly. Suggest inclusion of Miss Rhyme Phile's name on the current Ten Most Wanted List. Adieu |
FBI Wiretap Accountby RhymePhile |