Hellfire, Hockey, and Smut

Sunny rose her eyebrow as Krycek stumbled gasping out of the ice..err..water rink. He was soaked, his clothes were torn in over a dozen places, and a hockey stick stuck out of the back of his pants at a very strange and revealing angle.

"What the hell happened....?!?!?"

"I screwed all of those monsters, that's what! The rink is a swimming pool! Have you ever screwed twenty guys while playing water polo? Oh, and by the way, the lube is all gone."

"All gone? I got you a whole damned case! The guy at the warehouse club thought I was running a brothel!"

"Well, they liked me so much they said I had to screw their sticks too for luck."

"Well, don't faint yet. There's a very hot guy who is waiting for your company now, and he will have our eternal souls if we keep him waiting."

"I'm supposed to screw Lucifer?"

She smiled evily and held out his little black teddy, complete with garters.

He walked into the bedchamber, the dark, lightless fires burning in every corner. The blood red covers moved and the Flukeman popped out. He grinned and licked his lips.

Krycek's screams echoed down the hall for a good thirty minutes, much to his pain and regret.