Just The Way You Are

~Fall, 1977~

Alex was bored with his high school buddies. He ditched them, as he was prone to do, and headed downtown to see if anything more exciting was going on there. If he was lucky, he could slip in with a group of students from the University of Madison and get into a downtown bar without being carded. After all, the legal drinking age in Wisconsin was eighteen, only three years older than he was. Since he was tall, he usually got in without any problem, as long as it was a busy Friday night like this and he picked the bars that he knew to be understaffed. Any carders at the door and he headed the other way. He had to walk across the university campus in order to get to the downtown area. At the outskirts of the campus, the familiar bovine odor of the Stock Pavilion drifted his way. He was about to take a detour just to avoid the smell, when he heard music starting up from inside the Pavilion and someone speaking into a microphone.

"I can't believe they booked me into this disgusting, smelly Stock Pavilion! They told me they had a cow show here last night. Could I rate any lower than this? Well, the hell with it. I'm gonna give you guys a good show." The music, which had been soft, swelled in intensity and the singer began his song.

"Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are"

Alex rolled his eyes as he continued to walk past the Pavilion. "Jesus, how saccharine. Who the hell is that guy?" Soon the barnlike buildings gave way to the traditional brick, ivy-covered icons of higher education. Here he began to see posters highlighting all the weekend events. He took a closer look at one of them. "Hmm...'See Billy Joel at the Stock Pavilion Friday night. With a number of albums already under his belt, hear him sing his new song which is sure to finally bring him the stardom that he deserves.' Ha! Yeah, right." Alex continued walking, until finally, the big hill came into sight. Once atop this center of the campus, he was able to look over the other side and survey the busy downtown street below. Several groups of students passed him, no doubt with the same destination in mind. He smiled as he studied the groups. Deciding on which one he would most likely blend in with, he subtly fell in step behind them, silent as a shadow.

~The next afternoon~

Alex was miserable. Not only did he have a hangover, he also had to suffer the penance of his parents. They were livid that he had come home in the middle of the night, attempting to sneak in through his bedroom window without waking anyone. That didn't happen, since his parents were awake, waiting up for him. And the fact that, in retrospect, he was sure his stealthy catlike moves actually sounded more like an elephant crashing around. His father yelled at him and told him to sleep it off; they'd talk in the morning. When he arose, his parents seemed very calm and began the usual discussion of how disappointed in him that they were. He had stellar grades that could get him into any college that he wanted; they didn't want him to ruin his chances by falling in with the wrong crowd and ending up with a juvenile record. Alex gave them his usual 'Don't worry about me' speech and proceeded to make it up to them by taking over their weekend chores. As he was ordered to do, of course. After raking the leaves, mowing the lawn, and making the bathroom spotless, he took off once more for a walk around campus to shake off his anger at being grounded each night for the next month. Wandering aimlessly, he found himself at the Stock Pavilion once more. The big barn doors were open and he saw that they were having a plant sale. He thought it might score points with his mother if he bought her a plant to show her how sorry he was. He banished thoughts of the sad look in her eyes and how her disappointment affected him to the back of his mind. It was easier to think that he was being manipulative and wanting to score points with her than just being nice, or so he told himself. He looked around and chose a spider plant with several healthy offshoots.

~Spring 2001~

Krycek finished cleaning his gun and began to assemble it back together. Tonight was going to be tricky to get through. This wasn't new to him; in fact, it had become his routine. Not that he liked living that way, but the only other alternative was not to be living at all. He'd take tricky situations any time. But something about tonight made the hairs on the back of his neck dance in warning, more so than usual. He slipped the clip back into the gun and got up to leave. He glanced around his tiny apartment once, wondering as usual if this would be the last time he would ever see it. He wondered this each time he left on one of his missions, big or small. Somehow he had managed to keep this hideaway out of everyone's radar for the last several years. He had numerous bolt holes, but this was the one place, shabby as it was, that he considered home. His eyes sought out the old plant near the window. Krycek's apartment had been home to the plant since 1995. Memories of how it came back into his possession flowed over him.

//After the Smoker had failed in his attempt to blow him to tiny bits in the car explosion, Krycek laid low. He felt like he had the upper hand, after he had called the Smoker and taunted him with the news that he had the precious tape. But something nagged at him, a thought that he really did not want to acknowledge could be a possibility. Finally he had to know. So a week after the car bomb, Krycek made his way back to his Madison home. In the dark of night he silently crept into his parents' house, gun in one hand and flashlight in the other. He found them in the darkness of their bedroom, in their bed. If it weren't for the stench of death, he'd have thought that they were merely asleep. His breath hitched and he froze, staring at the scene before him as his eyes adjusted to the dark. Tears burned but he did not let them fall. This was not the time. Someone could be listening, or watching. He had to leave as silently as he came. But he could not bring himself to move. He just stood there staring, becoming more and more aware of the overbearing silence that surrounded him. The silence of death. There was nothing here for him anymore, just death. As he let the reality of it sink into him, he turned to leave. That's when he saw his mother's spider plant hanging in front of the window. The plant that she had loved and nurtured so much because it was a gift from him, all those years ago. It was the only thing left alive in the house, his parents' house, his home. Krycek turned off the flashlight and pocketed it. Before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed the plant off of its hanger and headed out the way he had come. Even in his stupor he realized that it wasn't the safest option, trying to creep away unseen with a gun and a plant that trailed long offshoots. But he couldn't leave without it. He didn't know why, and he didn't care. He just knew he couldn't.//

The memory faded and Krycek snapped back into the present, still staring at the plant. It was by no means as healthy as it used to be. It had been years since it had sprouted any offshoots, and the formerly abundant cluster of central parent leaves had been reduced to only a few stragglers. It had suffered and yet endured the last several years being mostly neglected. Krycek would sometimes be away for months at a time. With no one to water it, he'd always return expecting it to finally have withered away. But to his surprise it was always alive, and that's all that mattered. When he was there, he watered it and tended to it faithfully. Once he even fertilized it. He had even taken to talking to it. Living alone, usually on the run one step ahead of his enemies, had created a life of solitude that had long ago taken its toll. No friends, no companions. He was even wary of the occasional acquaintance. Trust No One. So he would sometimes talk to his plant. Nothing in depth; just greeting it upon his returns and saying his goodbyes upon his departures. It made him feel as if someone, or at least something, cared whether or not he came and went. That cared he had lived to make it home once again, and that cared he was once again leaving perhaps never to return. Tonight he'd be leaving again. He addressed the plant.

"Well, here we go again. Hope you enjoyed that long drink you had, 'cause I don't know when I'll be back. You're looking kinda straggly lately, but that's okay..." He thought back on the song that he always associated with his teenage purchase of the plant. "I take you just the way you are." He chuckled, and then said the words that had become his habitual words of departure. "Goodbye, my friend. See you later?" He always left with that question hanging in the air. One of these times his luck would run out, and he'd either return home to a dead plant, or he himself wouldn't be alive to return.

Krycek turned and left the apartment. As he walked down the hallway, the dancing neck hairs made their presence known once again. He had learned to trust his sixth sense, so he figured tonight might be especially risky. He really didn't know what was going to happen. He had gotten word that Billy Miles had destroyed the alien fetal experiments at both Zeus Genetics and at the Parenti Medical Group. Miles had torched the Genetics lab and then killed Dr. Parenti, Scully's former doctor. Scully's pregnancy was at term, so Krycek was sure that Billy Miles' next target would be Scully herself. Now that the alien replicant knew that the baby existed, there was no need for Krycek to terminate the baby itself. At least he wouldn't have to deal with that anymore. Krycek decided he'd go to Scully's apartment, hoping his hunch would be correct and he would find Miles there. He didn't know exactly how to stop Miles if he found him; maybe he'd be lucky and find Miles in the street, so he could run him over with his car. Of course, going to Scully's place meant that he'd probably also run into Mulder and maybe Skinner, so the whole thing could turn out to be messier than if he was just dealing with Miles on his own. He really wasn't looking forward to this. He couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps he had indeed bid his final farewell to the old friend he had left in his apartment.