Late One Night

1:03 A.M.

Frohike sat down at his computer and logged into his favorite chat room. It was quiet for awhile, and then...

LOG ON: LGM.F

LOG ON: CRG

LGM.F: Hey, CRG. Nice to see someone new.

CRG: Who said I was new?

LGM.F: ?

CRG: (evil grin)

LGM.F: ...Langly? Is that you?

CRG: Figure out the acronym and you'll know who it is.

LGM.F: You type slow.

CRG: So?

LGM.F: Oh, c'mon. Gimme a hint. m/f?

CRG: Can't you tell?

LGM.F: Female. Of course. Hello there. (smiles)

LGM.F: A rose @)---'---

CRG: Actually, I-

LGM.F: And is there a Mr. CRG?

CRG: Well, if you'd let me get a word in edgewise, Yes. I'm male.

LGM.F: Oh.

(pause)

CRG: Feeling stupid?

LGM.F: Yes.

CRG: You haven't figured out who I am yet?

LGM.F: Mulder?

CRG: You'll have to do better than that.

LGM.F: Um... those are your initials, right?

CRG: No.

LGM.F: I need a hint. Have we met?

CRG: I don't think so. Maybe Mulder has mentioned me. But never face to face.

LGM.F: Man, you type slow.

CRG: Oh, like you've got anything better to do.

LGM.F: So you know who I am.

CRG: Yes, Frohike. I like to keep track of you guys.

LGM.F: YOU'RE THE SMOKING GUY!

CRG: Calm down. No.

LGM.F: Well, if you're keeping track of us...

(pause)

LGM.F: That really doesn't narrow it down.

CRG: (evil grin)

LGM.F: Do all of these evil grins mean you're evil?

CRG: Who among us thinks they are evil?

LGM.F: Just answer the question. Are you a good guy or not?

CRG: Well...

LGM.F: Kill anyone?

CRG: Yes.

LGM.F: Then you're a bad guy.

CRG: Oh thank you, Mr. Perfect.

LGM.F: I'm just trying to figure out who you are.

CRG: Yes. I know.

LGM.F: Okay, let's see. You're a killer and you type slow.

CRG: Yes.

LGM.F: You type slow... what is that making me think of?

CRG: Your boring life?

LGM.F: No, I mean *why* would you type slow?

CRG: Because I don't spend my whole life in front of a computer screen?

LGM.F: No, it's more than that.

CRG: How would you know?

LGM.F: Wait, Byers just walked in. Lemme ask him.

CRG: Make it quick.

LGM.F: KRYCHEK! BYERS SAID YOU TYPE SLOW BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE ARM!

CRG: That's KryCek. It really isn't that hard to spell.

LGM.F: I'M CALLING THE POLICE!

CRG: Yawn.

LGM.F: No, really. I have a cable modem.

CRG: And what are you going to tell them? You know my location or something?

LGM.F: Actually, yes. Your IP address is 1002.2925.2239 which puts you in the Andrews Apartment Building on Sixth street in downtown DC, apartment.... oh, 423.

CRG: No, I have one of those scrambler thingys. I'm in Duluth, Minnesota.

LGM.F: Sure you do.

**CRG has logged off**

LGM.F: Yeah! Run!

Frohike turned to Byers, who was reading the screen over his shoulder. Scrunching his eyebrows, he asked, "Do you have any idea what the acronym stands for, oh Fount of Knowledge?"

Byers thought for a moment, ignoring the sarcasm, and said, "Of course. Cool Rat Guy. Maybe he doesn't want to be called Ratboy anymore."

"Whatever," replied Frohike, as he dialed the number for the police. He was, of course, much too late, because Krycek was torching his apartment as he dialed and would be long gone in his personal helicopter (of course he has a helicopter) but Frohike didn't know that.