Lemonade and Stories

"DOWN! DOWN ON THE GROUND! DO IT NOW!" yelled Krycek. The gun in his hand did its best to emphasize his words as he pointed it at Mulder's head. "...OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FREAKING HEAD OFF!" he finished.

Mulder simply stood facing Krycek, his face unreadable. They stood that way for a tense moment. The alley they stood in was suitably dark and quiet. They seemed miles away from civilization, from anyone who could help.

Almost anyone. Duncan MacLeod passed by them and then came back, quizzically watching Krycek. "Corey?" he asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Look, man. I don't know who this 'Corey' is, but I think you should leave now," replied Krycek.

"Come on, Corey-boy. You're not still mad at me for blowing you up, are you?" asked Duncan, raising one eyebrow. "What's the scam this time?"

Krycek swung the gun from Mulder's head, pointing it at MacLeod's chest. "Leave," he repeated, "and forget what you saw here."

Duncan put his hands up in mock surrender. "Whatever you say, Corey-boy! Just don't expect me to dig you up." With that he turned and walked away.

Krycek turned to face Mulder saying, "See? That's how it's done. I'm sorry, but you're just not intimidating enough." He sighed and dropped the gun to his side. "Let's see what you've learned so far. Ask me something, and try to sound menacing this time."

"All right, I'll try." Mulder's hands balled into fists. "Who was that? One of your Consortium buddies?" The effect was diminished by the eager look on Mulder's face as he finished. He even nodded a little.

The gun clattered to the ground as Krycek pinched the bridge of his nose in despair. He stood that way for a moment, his head down. Krycek sighed. "No.... Mulder, let's just call it a day." They went and sat on the curb.

Mulder rested his elbows on his knees and put his chin in his hands. Krycek put his hand on Mulder's shoulder. "It's okay, Mulder, you'll get it eventually," said Krycek. "It just takes practice. I've seen an improvement since we started these sessions."

"Really?" asked Mulder with touches of hopefulness and disbelief.

"Really," Krycek said gently.

There was a pause. Then Krycek said, "You know, if you ever decide to turn, we could use a man like you."

Mulder started in surprise. "I'll never join them," he declared.

"You've got us all wrong, Mulder. It's not all killing and aliens. There's a whole other side to the Consortium."

Mulder looked at the other man in disbelief.

"No, really," added Krycek. "Most of the time we sit around in those comfy leather chairs talking."

"Talking about what?" asked Mulder. Krycek chuckled.

"The usual. News, politics, families, ammunition, the weather, how to play with peoples' minds. We even go on retreats together."

"RETREATS? What kind of *sick* explanation is this?" Mulder spat.

"No practicing. We're on break."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Although that was pretty good," Krycek admitted. "Anyway, we really do go on retreats. Last year it was at Alistair's ranch home-- I mean the Well-Manicured Man. We spent most of the time drinking lemonade on the veranda, telling stories about you and Scully."

Mulder looked shell-shocked. "You... tell stories... about Scully and me?"

"Oh, all the time. You guys are our favorite subjects." Krycek looked at Mulder. "What? You look kind of surprised."

"Surprise doesn't even come close to what I'm feeling right now," said Mulder, leaning away.

Krycek raised his one hand in a gesture of honesty. "No, it's true! We usually have someone tailing you with recording equipment and trying not to laugh. But some guys aren't good at that part." He thought for a moment. "In fact, if I remember correctly, that's the reason Spender got shot."

Mulder, tired at this point of looking amazed, simply put his head into his hands. His eyebrows were getting tired anyway. "You think you know a shadow government," he muttered.

"Oh, that's not all! I personally keep a little notebook of all the dumb things you've said over the years. Wanna see it?" offered Krycek, reaching into his breast pocket.

"No," Mulder quickly answered. "No, thanks. Scully has one of those, too. She reads it to me when we get bored." He stood up. "It's been kind of an eventful day, Krycek. I think I'll just go home. Same time next week?"

"Sure. Bye," replied Krycek, but Mulder was walking away. He sat there for a little while, lost in thought.

MacLeod appeared from behind the building where he had been standing. "Well, Corey," he said, "you certainly have changed your style."

Krycek looked up at him. "The philanthropist thing got old. Messing with people's minds is a *lot* more fun. And it's Alex now."