Morning Glory

Part One: Morning Glory

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.
---Jelaluddin Rumi (13th century)

Her own scream echoing back at her was only punctuated by the sound of screeching tires. Sabryn opened her eyes, her face immediately flaming, to see Mr. Skinner struggling to get the truck back on the road. Sweating and shaking, she sat up straighter in the passenger seat and swallowed heavily. Thanks to the nightmare, she'd nearly gotten them into a wreck. Still, it was a welcome distraction from the image of her father calling out her name as he died.

"Amanda..."

A ghostly chill crept up her spine. His voice was so clear in the back of her mind. Shoving the remnants of the dream away, she glanced back at the camper her brother was driving behind them, before turning her attention to her companion.

"I'm sorry. I should have warned you about that."

The scowl that seemed permanently carved in his face didn't waver as he raised a shaky hand to wipe the sweat from his brow. "I damned near drove us off the road."

"I know. I--I didn't expect to fall asleep. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to keep apologizing. It's over."

She couldn't help being repentant. He reminded her a lot of her father. A stern authority figure, handsome but withdrawn, a commanding presence. She had to turn away from his penetrating stare. The road flew by below them, dirty with sand and frost. Cold and bleak. So far from home.

Just over twenty-four hours earlier, they'd left Virginia for what she assumed was the last time. They'd delivered her paintings to Maxine, giving the woman quite a bargain for only five thousand dollars. A short trip to the supermarket got them enough food and supplies for the drive north. Once they reached their destination, Mr. Skinner had assured her they would buy much more.

Finally noticing the lack of foothills, she asked, "Where are we?"

"Just outside Cedar Rapids."

"Iowa? Already?"

"Switching drivers so often was a good idea. But I think we'll have to stop entirely, soon. I don't know about you, but quick naps aren't cutting it anymore."

"There's an exit coming up...why don't we get something to eat?"

He nodded curtly, changing lanes in preparation. As he watched for Johnny to follow, Sabryn took a moment to study his profile. She'd spent the entire day with him, but he was still every bit as much a stranger to her as he'd always been. He didn't speak much, and when he did the topic of discussion was entirely impersonal. Current events, the weather, politics. Nothing about her, or himself...and certainly nothing about Alex Krycek. Despite the fact that they were driving his truck, apparently by his own stipulation, the man's name hadn't come up once. Maybe it was time to change that.

"What are your agents going to do with Alex?"

"That's confidential."

She knew a dodge when she heard one. "I have ways of making you talk, Mr. Skinner." When he barely gave her a glance, she continued. "It's an awfully long way to North Dakota, and I know a lot of show tunes. Granted, I don't have the greatest singing voice..."

He cleared his throat, hiding what looked like the beginnings of a smile. "What my agents do with Alex Krycek really isn't my concern anymore. If you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly following Bureau procedure myself."

"I noticed. It's not easy to follow the rules when saving your own ass."

For the first time, she felt that he was really looking at her. "No, it isn't."

"You believe him, that much is obvious. So either you knew about this all along, you're working for the same people, or you're sleeping with him too."

This time, he didn't smile. "It's a long story, Miss Jaegar."

"Sabryn."

"I have known about this for some time, and yes I once did work for the same people...before I wised up and got the hell out of the noose. But you can bet that if I ever got my bare hands on Krycek, I sure as hell wouldn't be sleeping with him. I'd kill the bastard."

She wasn't sure she wanted to ask. But as he pulled off the off-ramp onto the busy side street, and headed towards the nearest gas station, she couldn't staunch her curiosity.

"Why do you hate him so much?"

"If you want to hear the story from the beginning, we're going to need a lot more time." He gave her one last look as he turned into the parking lot. "I think you'd better eat something. Bad news is always worse on an empty stomach."

"You're not going to get a word out of her if she knows you're with me. You'd be lucky to get her to admit anything, even if you fucked her brains out, Mulder."

Alex sat in the back seat of the dark blue sedan, hands cuffed in front of him, staring out the window at the cars driving past them in the parking garage. Sitting in the front passenger's seat, Agent Scully ignored him as she flipped through her pocketbook looking for a phone number. It was a shame really. He knew that last jab must have riled her.

Glaring at him in the rear-view mirror, Mulder tightened his hands on the steering wheel. Although they'd only been sitting here a few minutes, the boredom and anxiety was obviously getting the best of him. Every time he met Alex's gaze, he quickly looked away. More than likely fighting the urge to sock him in the face.

"What are you hoping to get out of her anyway?"

"Why don't you shut up and mind your own business?"

Alex smirked. "Wouldn't it be a lot easier if you just walked up to her room, Mulder? Hell, I'll do it if you're too damned scared. I've already had my hands in Diana's panties. One more time won't kill me...I don't think."

He failed to mention that the woman hadn't been wearing the panties at the time. Still, Mulder swiveled around in his seat and was starting to reach for his fugitive when Scully stopped him.

"She's coming, Mulder."

There was no mistaking the irritation in her voice this time. Staring out the front window, Alex could see Diana Fowley stepping out of the elevator and heading for her own car. She carried a purse and a bag that was far too large to be a briefcase.

"Going somewhere?" he murmured.

"I'll be back," Mulder told his partner in a tight voice, as he opened the door and stepped out.

Scully set down her purse and unbuttoned her jacket, watching every move of the man she'd worked with for nearly seven years...and the ex he'd never mentioned. Sweeping the edge of her blazer out of the way, her hand in ready position to grab the pistol at her side. Leaning forward as far as his seat belt would allow, Alex spoke right next to her ear.

"I don't think anyone would blame you if you shot now and asked questions later."

She didn't bother to turn around. "Sit back and shut up, Krycek, before I decide to use this bullet on you."

With a slight laugh, he did as he was told. And even though he couldn't hear what was being said, the shock on Diana's face as Fox Mulder stopped in front of her was more than apparent. They spoke for a moment, her face friendly and open, Mulder's taut and accusing. She shook her head, immediately looking down to the suitcase she was carrying. Mulder leaned forward, intimidating her with his size, but she didn't back down for a moment. If anything she leaned even closer.

"Is it just me, or do they look like more than ex-partners to you?"

"Mulder's past is none of my business," Scully answered.

"Considering who that woman works for, I'd say it's every bit your business."

Finally turning in her seat, Scully shot him a lethal glare. "You work for the very same people, Krycek. And I don't give a damn about you. Why should I care about her?"

He braced his forearms on his knees, his face just inches from her. "Because I didn't sleep with your partner. And I sure as hell didn't marry him."

Merely a brief flicker of moisture in her eyes betrayed her calm exterior. Facing forward, she licked her lips. "It wouldn't have mattered to me if you had. He's my partner. Nothing more."

He watched her profile for a moment, waiting for the slightest crack in her composure. But ever as before, she was unbreakable. In all the years he'd known her, he'd never once managed to rile her. Luis Cardinal had, by killing her sister. And even though he'd been present at the time, Alex hadn't pulled the trigger himself so he couldn't take the credit for making that beautiful face shimmer with emotion. Somehow, he both admired her and despised her for that. She was a challenge, an unbreakable code. And still, only a heartless bastard could pierce the protective veil she wore. She was a true adversary. He loved watching her tick.

Yet even she couldn't hold his attention for long. Not even the spectacle of Mulder and Diana throwing accusations at each other in a darkened parking garage could do that. Because he could smell her. Not Scully, with her freshly washed hair and light cologne. Not Diana, with her heavy perfume and lingering stench of cigarettes. He smelled Sabryn. On his clothes, his jacket, his skin. Her touch on his flesh, her heat against him, the taste of her in his mouth. And even though he'd spent an entire night alone, in the confines a Federal detention center, he could still hear her voice in his head. See her blue eyes sparkling with laughter, and with tears. Cruel torture, inflicted by his own brain. The lightly musk-tinged, almond scent of her skin was all over his hands, as indelibly laced on his flesh as her presence in his memory. He wanted to spit the taste of her out of his mouth, to scrub away the smells with yet another shower, but he knew it wouldn't help. Guilty of deception or not, she wasn't about to go away.

Swearing under his breath, Alex forced himself to concentrate on the scene before him. Mulder made a grab for Diana's suitcase, only to have her slap his hand away. She was just reaching under her coat as he grabbed her wrist in a brutal grip and started towing her towards the car. Alex could see Scully reaching for her gun as she stepped out of the car and went to assist her partner. Diana struggled in vain, trying to release herself as Mulder pushed her against the hood of the car, but she didn't dare flinch against the woman who held a gun on her. Not showing the least bit of triumph, Scully held the other woman in her sights as Mulder patted her down and removed her weapons. And when Mulder spoke again, nodding towards the car, Diana looked up and met Alex's gaze through the window with murderous eyes. As Mulder held on to her, Scully holstered her gun and headed back to open the door.

"Get out."

"That would be a lot easier if I weren't wearing a seat belt," Alex murmured.

With a sigh of irritation, Scully leaned over and unbuckled his seat belt. She glared at him when he deliberately moved closer to smell her perfume, pushing herself away from him and grabbing for her gun once more.

"I said, get out."

"Yes ma'am." Scooting across the back seat, he unfolded himself from the tiny car and smirked at Diana. "If looks could kill...you would have put me out of business a long time ago, Fowley."

"Go to hell, you bastard."

"Been there, thanks."

"Is what Krycek told us true, Diana?" Scully asked.

Without breaking her stare on him, the other woman answered, "Depends on which version of the 'truth' this con-artist told you. His whole life is one big lie. I really can't tell you how surprised I am that you believe a word he says."

Just as he'd suspected, Diana was playing it cool. Alex almost had to smile. She was an even better liar than he was.

"You're saying you know nothing about the pending invasion?"

She had the nerve to look shocked. "Invasion? But how? Cassandra Spender disappeared, and the Consortium leaders were all killed."

"Not everyone, if we're to believe what he says." Mulder still had his fist in a firm lock around Diana's arm, unwilling to let go. "Krycek told us you're not only involved in Consortium activities, but that you're also the Smoking Man's mistress."

Her laughter echoed off the cavernous walls of the parking garage. "Did he tell you I was also Cleopatra in a former life? Really, Fox...he would tell you anything to get his ass out of trouble. You should know that far better than I do."

"Which brings up an interesting point, Diana. Just how do you know Alex Krycek?"

Just when he thought she was going to stammer and betray her own web of lies, Diana surprised Alex again. "Who in the FBI doesn't know Krycek? You've been after him for years."

"What about the suitcase?" Scully asked. "Planning a trip?"

"As a matter of fact, I'm visiting a friend for the holidays. What--did you think I was going to rendezvous with my lover at a safe base, and then honeymoon on an alien space ship?"

Her last few words were punctuated with laughter, causing Scully to grit her teeth. She turned her gaze on Krycek, and he could see her thoughts written all over her face. Maybe it was just a glimmer of doubt, but part of her wanted to tear him to shreds for making her look like a fool. Still, somewhere deep down, she sensed the truth about Diana...felt it every bit as much as he knew.

"I told you it was pointless asking her. Smokey has her every bit as well trained as a chimp."

Diana didn't even glare at him. The slight smile creeping across her face made him want to choke her. Turning her gaze to Mulder, she looked at him with pleading eyes. "Fox, you remember what happened the last time. Do you really think I'd leave you behind if I thought your life were in danger?"

"I don't know what to think anymore."

"Don't tell me you actually believe him."

Mulder stared at Alex, a shadow falling over his eyes. "What reason does he have to lie? Either way, he knows I'm not letting him go. Not this time."

"He's trying to turn you against me. To make a fool of you. Both of you," she added, glancing at Scully. "And if you ask me, he already has."

Before Sabryn could follow Mr. Skinner into the convenience store, Johnny walked up behind her and laid a hand on her shoulder. She wanted to shrug him off, to act like a petty and selfish child--but the truth was that he'd thought he was helping her, and she could no longer hold that against him. Besides, the newly developing bruise on his jaw, along with the continuing ache in her fingers, made her feel guilty enough.

"What happened back there, on the road?"

"Nightmare."

He gave her a knowing and sympathetic smile. "How are you holding up, Bryn?"

Crossing her arms, she hugged her jacket tighter to keep out the chill. "As well as I can, I guess. I just keep thinking about Mom and Daddy."

"Yeah, I know." He glanced at the store, before abruptly grabbing her arm and pulling her after him. "I think we might be able to do something about that."

They stopped walking in front of the pay phone, and Johnny dug in his pocket to find some change. Depositing four quarters in the phone, he dialed the number. Sabryn listened silently for a moment, cringing slightly as her brother proceeded to argue with their father, trying once more to talk them into leaving their home. These were people who stored bottled water and canned foods in their cellar, in case of the Millennium Bug. Why were they fighting so hard? Was it just to spite her?

Turning her head, Sabryn watched her niece and nephew playing with their Star Wars Light Sabers in the empty parking lot. The grins on their faces nearly broke her heart. While Jolie and Chris were excited about the trip and being able to miss school even earlier than the scheduled winter vacation, they had no idea what was really happening. They didn't know they might never see their grandparents or friends again. They had no notion of a fate even worse. To them, this was nothing more than a long camping trip.

Grabbing the phone out of her brother's hand, she pressed herself into the small booth next to him.

"Dad, I know you don't believe me, but I'm asking you for a favor."

There was silence on the other end of the line, and she could almost see her father's scowl. "What's that?"

"Just...just pretend this has nothing to do with me. If nothing else, come to North Dakota for your grandchildren. Do you really want them to move away, so you can't see them again?"

"They'd still be here if not for your story--"

"I know that. They believed me, and you don't...but that doesn't matter." Closing her eyes against Johnny's stare, she whispered, "I still love you anyway, Daddy."

The shallow gasp on the other end of the line wasn't her imagination. She could hear the phone being set down, and then silence. Just when she thought he'd hung up on her, her mother's voice filled her ear.

"What did you say to him?"

"I told him the truth."

Bernadette sighed. "Where are you, Amanda?"

She didn't bother to correct her mother. It was pointless anyway. "We're in Iowa. Look, we can't talk for much longer."

"I want to talk to my grandbabies."

"They're playing, Mom. We haven't told them what's going on."

"Well thank goodness for that much."

Casting a glance at John, she shook her head. By his frown, he got the message. "I just wanted you to know that--that I was thinking about you."

Her mother cleared her throat. "Did Carly remember to bring Jolie's bear? I remember how happy she was when you gave that to her. She looked just like you, carrying that ratty old thing around."

"Yeah, I think she remembered." She could barely get the words out of her mouth. "Please, Mom...convince Daddy to come up here. The kids need you."

I need you, she added silently. She couldn't say it out loud. Not now. But she still felt it. Despite everything.

"I really should go. I have a pie in the oven."

"Mom..."

The sound of the other end of the line going dead made her start. Hastily hanging up the phone, she squeezed out of the cramped phone booth and headed for the truck. Johnny wasn't even fast enough to catch her as she opened the driver's side door, climbed in, and locked it behind her. Her expression must have warned him, for he backed away before trying anything further. Resting her head against the steering wheel, she willed the tears out of her eyes.

Damn them. Damn them all to hell.

And yet, as she sat in the cab of the truck, breathing in the scent of leather, she slowly felt herself begin to relax. There was just something about that musky scent, so familiar, so *Alex*, that she couldn't help but smile. Part of her wanted to grab the gun in the nearby console, use it to hijack the keys to the truck from Mr. Skinner, and drive all the way back to Arlington. To search the hills until she was exhausted. Never resting until she found him. Her friend. Her lover. Her...something. But the rational part of her head knew that was idiotic. Take a lesson from the man himself, it told her. He never cared about anyone else. It was only when he chanced that very thing that he got himself into trouble.

The smart thing was to keep going. On to North Dakota and never look back. Save your own ass. It's the only one that matters.

Watching Mulder and Scully argue was about as erotic as soft-core porn. Alex leaned against the hood of the car, shifting uncomfortably in too-tight jeans, trying desperately to ignore the woman whose brown eyes pinned him with a lethal glare. Stuck between the same two cars as him, not daring to move lest Scully decide to make good use of that bullet, Diana seemed determined to stare a hole through his head.

"You're going to regret this, Krycek."

He turned his head to glance at her, gifting the bitch with a rare smirk. "It'll be a pleasure." Tugging at his handcuffs, feeling oddly as if his left arm had gone numb, he swore under his breath. "You know, I've got an itch right by my left nut. Would you mind scratching that for me?"

"I'll tell you exactly what I'd do if I got my hand down your pants--"

"Honey, don't flatter yourself. The day that happens, my only hard-on will be caused by rigor mortis."

Just as it looked like she was ready to lunge at him, Mulder and Scully returned. And once again, Diana wore an expressionless mask. Eyes as cold and unflinching as a doll's.

"You're free to go, Diana. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you," Mulder said.

"I should say so."

Alex couldn't believe his ears. "You're what? You're letting her walk?"

"She's done nothing wrong."

With a haughty tilt of her head, Diana picked up her suitcase and walked away.

"Son of a--"

Alex started after her, not about to let her go even if it meant dragging her back with one hand...but he didn't get very far before he was slammed back against the car with the full brunt of Mulder's body. His gun was pressed against Alex's neck, pinching flesh, before he could even open his mouth.

"I suggest you let it go before I decide to take offense to this little charade you've pulled, Krycek."

"Mulder--"

Scully's voice, barely audible, was the only other thing Alex heard as Diana started her car and drove away. Watching her go, he shoved back against Mulder. "Fuck. You just let her walk away."

Pushing aside Mulder's gun and stepping between them, Scully stared up at him with determined eyes. "This isn't over yet. Not by a long shot."

Unlocking the doors, Sabryn grabbed the soft drinks from Mr. Skinner so he could sit down. As he settled into the passenger's seat and fastened his seat belt, she could hear her stomach growling at the heavenly scent of the food he was carrying. Sure, it was all junk, but she was starving.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I got a burrito and a cherry pie."

"That's perfect."

He seemed pleased, and cracked a smile that was altogether breath-taking. She wasn't sure if he was capable of such an expression. "Shall we eat here, or get back on the road and eat as we drive?"

"I was hoping to reach Des Moines sometime tonight, if you don't mind?"

"That's fine." The truck made an awful as crunching sound as she put it into reverse, and she winced. It had been a long time since she'd driven any car, let alone a standard, and obviously her few hours behind the wheel last night hadn't helped any. "I hope Alex doesn't mind that I'm killing his truck."

Skinner didn't say a word. Eventually she got them back on the road and took a few bites of her lukewarm burrito. Finally, the silence became too much to bear.

"So...tell me about him. Why do you hate Alex Krycek so much?"

"Well, besides trying to kill me and using me as his errand boy under threat, he's a liar, a murderer, a traitor, a thief...you name it."

Sabryn licked her lips, fighting the urge to argue vehemently. The man he'd just described wasn't the Alex she knew. "He tried to kill you?"

"Yes. But I'm not talking about shooting me or beating me, although he's tried. I'm talking about something more sophisticated. You've heard of nano-technology?"

"I--isn't that what doctors are planning on using to open clogged arteries?"

"Exactly. Only, your 'boyfriend' decided to use it for just the opposite effect. I damned near died of cardiac arrest."

She swallowed heavily, not wanting to hear anymore. Not believing a word. And still...why would someone lie about such a thing?

Against all better judgment, she couldn't let the issue rest.

"Tell me all of it."

Part Two: Believe The Lie

Summary: What do you believe when truth is stranger than fiction?

For Allison, my dearest friend, who makes me believe the impossible.

"There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out."
--Russian proverb

"I don't know where he comes from, or where he's been, but he was a liar from the very beginning."

Sabryn tightened her hands around the steering wheel, staring at the road before her as if in some sort of trance. She couldn't look at his face. Somehow, hearing the story from a distance, it was easier to pretend Mr. Skinner wasn't talking about Alex. Not *her* Alex.

"He came to me five years ago, green, fresh out of Quantico. Your typical blue-flamer. Ready to kiss anyone's ass. Little did we know that he was working for the wrong team the whole time." She could feel his eyes on her, but didn't flinch a muscle. "He'd been sent to spy on Agent Mulder, to find his weaknesses. And when he did, he took full advantage of them. We have very strong reason to believe that Alex Krycek was involved in the abduction of Agent Scully."

Startled, she turned to stare at him. "Abduction?"

"I assumed you knew all about this. Mulder briefed me on your own abduction experience before we left Maryland."

"I--I didn't know anything about Agent Scully."

He sighed heavily, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. "She was kidnapped by a man whose case Mulder and Krycek had been working on. They were partners."

Partners. Jesus. She could only imagine the animosity Fox must have felt when Alex turned against him. The expressions on their faces, when they met once again in Alex's apartment, became that much clearer. And she shuddered as another wave of guilt washed over her.

"The most likely scenario is that Krycek told Duane Barry where to find Scully, and told him to take her...that he'd be saving his own life by sacrificing hers. She was abducted that night on Skyland Mountain, and Alex Krycek disappeared from the Bureau."

"The most likely scenario...you mean this is all hearsay? You don't even know? How can you accuse someone of something if you don't have the facts?"

His voice became deeper, huskier, tightly reined as he spoke. "You have no idea who you're dealing with, Miss Jaegar. This man isn't some misunderstood hero. He's a highly trained counterintelligence agent and a skilled assassin. I suggest you remember that."

She swallowed heavily, feeling chastised. "He never lied to me."

"Silence is every bit as deceptive as a lie, wouldn't you say?" When she didn't answer him, he went back to his story. "He wasn't seen or heard from again for nearly half a year...but when he came back, he made his presence known. Tampering with the water supply in Mulder's apartment building, he set him up to take the fall for his own father's murder. But that was his doing, as well."

"You're saying he killed his former partner's father?"

"That's right."

She felt like she was listening to one outrageous lie after another. This wasn't possible. Sure, he was a spy. But her friend wasn't cold-blooded, was he? The man who looked at her the way Alex did couldn't possibly be the one Mr. Skinner was describing. She couldn't help the blatant disbelief in her voice.

"What possible reason would he have to do such a thing?"

"Like I told you, he's very good at following orders. Someone wanted Bill Mulder out of the way. And with the chance to take Agent Mulder down with him, it was too good to pass up."

Glancing in the rear-view mirror, Sabryn was suddenly glad her brother wasn't aware of this conversation. She'd never hear the end of it.

"Do you have proof of his involvement?"

"These men don't leave proof. Garnet agents are ghosts. They vanish."

"Garnet?"

"Global black operations specialists." The smile he gave her held no trace of humor. "The man you're so quick to defend is involved with a group even the CIA can't touch. But even with the fancy title, the Garnet boys are little more than glorified assassins and bodyguards. The real power lies in the Majestic Project. They're the ones orchestrating the alien takeover. Krycek is merely a thug."

"But he said--"

"He'll tell you anything to get you to believe the lie. That's his job."

Arguing with him was pointless. The story only got worse. The only thing she could do was concentrate on the road and drive.

"Mulder had Krycek once, and damned near shot him. If not for Scully's intervention, Mulder might have been accused of his murder as well."

Once more, his voice took on a solemn tone. "Krycek and another man were also involved in the death of Melissa Scully. They were waiting in Agent Scully's apartment. She'd been warned that someone wanted her dead, but they ended up killing her sister by mistake."

Sabryn was starting to feel sick.

"I met up with Krycek a few days later, when he and his friends decided to beat the shit out of me and steal a digital tape containing stolen MJ documents. I don't know what happened after that," Skinner continued, "but I imagine they tried to get to him. He disappeared again and only resurfaced after he was found selling secret documents to the French."

"'Get to him'...you mean they tried to kill him."

"Exactly."

She closed her eyes briefly. "I don't know if I want to hear anymore."

"We can't stop now. The story is just getting interesting."

"C'mon guys, open the door."

Alex fought the urge to shake off Mulder's hand as he stood impatiently in the darkened hallway. He could hear a scuffle on the other side of the door, and he stared up at the little camera above him with a smug grin. He could only imagine what Mulder's little toadies were thinking.

After a lot of clicking, what sounded like five or six locks being opened, the door swung ajar. Peering out with beady eyes, behind thick glasses, the blond-haired man stared at them down his pointy nose. Alex had to fight the urge to ask him when Wayne's World started filming.

"Let us in, Langly," Scully said, impatiently, pushing on the door.

"What's *he* doing here?" The blond nodded his head towards Alex.

"He's our prisoner, now open the door."

Standing back, the gangly man let them pass...never taking his eyes off Alex. From his long hair to his butt-rocker T-shirt, he looked to be stuck in the 80's. Then again, as the other two came forward, they all were. His troll-sized companion, complete with pony tail and finger-less gloves, gaped open-mouthed at Alex, while the business suit-clad narc stood with his arms crossed in the background.

"What the hell are you doing bringing him here? You trying to blow our cover, Mulder?"

Although Alex knew them well, through hours of video surveillance in several locations, he'd had no idea they were aware who he was. Then again, he wasn't particularly surprised. They had a knack for knowing things they weren't supposed to.

"This isn't about him." Scully stepped forward. "This is about the favor I asked of you."

The three men shared an uncomfortable silence. Obviously, whatever this favor was, Mulder hadn't been privy to it.

"It's all right. He knows," she said. "I told him this afternoon, just after we finished talking to Diana Fowley."

"The Foul one?" Langly asked, a hushed voice.

"Just get on with it," Mulder demanded, irritably. "What have you found?"

The man in the suit, Byers, if Alex remembered correctly, stepped over to the computer and swiftly began typing. Within a few moments, a whole new spread sheet came up on the screen. "Aside from what we've already shown you about the abductees and Diana's whereabouts, there have been several other developments of late--"

Fuck! He had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. They were spying on Diana Fowley. Jesus, some people were so dense.

"You know, if you wanted to know about Diana's activities, all you had to do was ask."

Five pairs of eyes turned to look at him before staring at each other. Once again, the shortest man said, "What the hell is he doing here?"

They weren't in the least bit comforted by the cuffs he was still wearing. They watched him as if they thought he might be keeping a running tab with some sort of photographic memory.

"Krycek has told us that not only is the invasion imminent in less than two weeks, but that Diana is also the Smoking Man's mistress."

"Eewww!"

"The point is, we have no proof to back it up. That's where you three come in."

"If you're hoping for some proof of Fowley and Smokey doing the skinny shimmy, you can just forget it, Mulder." The short man scratched the back of his neck, his stubby fingers sticking out of those cut-off gloves like little sausages. "Even if we had such a tape, it wouldn't be safe for human viewing."

"What do you have?" Scully asked.

Turning his attention to Mulder, Byers said, "After the last threat of invasion, Scully kept us watching Diana. We didn't mean to go behind your back, but--"

"Just get on with it," Mulder growled.

"In the hopes that something might come up in conversation, we bugged Diana's hotel room and her former partner's home."

"Spender?"

"Yeah. However, shortly thereafter, Spender resigned and hasn't been heard from since...but that's not the end of the story. His residence is still being paid for, and there's someone living there."

Scully frowned. "Couldn't there have been a change in renters?"

"Not as far as we could tell. The lease is still under his name."

"Then who is there?"

"Whomever it is doesn't want to be found. They never leave the apartment. Their groceries are delivered and the payment is always slipped under the door. They don't answer the phone, they don't go on-line, and they haven't received one single visitor."

"So Spender quit his job and decided to become a hermit. What's so unusual about that?"

"Unless Spender grew breasts, not a thing," Langly interrupted.

Mulder stepped forward, all but forgetting Alex behind him. If the door hadn't been triple locked, and his hands in cuffs, he could have easily made a break for it. Still, his curiosity was piqued.

"I thought you said no one had seen who was staying there?" Mulder asked.

Byers used his mouse to open up a file on the computer. "Early one morning we were working surveillance and managed to get a picture. She only had the curtains open for a split second, and the capture is blurry, but this is it."

Mulder and Scully squinted at the picture, looking like a couple of cartoon characters. And even though he didn't really need to know, Alex stepped a bit closer. Then closer still. Peering over their shoulders, he had to blink several times to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him.

Jesus. It couldn't be.

"Do you know her?" Byers asked.

Mulder nodded. "That's Marita Covarrubias."

The steady drip, drip, dripping of the faucet was the only other sound in the tiny motel bathroom. Sitting in steaming water, her right leg covered in soapy foam and propped up on the ledge, Sabryn stared off into space. The pink razor in her hand made slow, even strokes up the length of her calf. But she wasn't watching what she was doing. She barely noticed the narrow line of blood sliding across her skin, only to fall like newly shed tears to the milky water below, disintegrating in little pink puffs in the water.

*They'll turn you against me...*

*Never.*

But he knew better than she did, didn't he? He'd never lied to her. But he didn't tell her the truth, either. For several more long hours, she'd sat in that truck with Mr. Skinner, her senses bombarded, listening to him tell the horrifying story of Alex Krycek. From the murders to his own inhabitation by an alien life form. From his escape from a missile silo to an apparent alliance with the Russians. He made deals, stole, cheated, lied, killed, and tortured. Most hideous of all was the deliberate cruelty he'd shown in nearly killing Walter Skinner just to get the man under his control. He'd done it slowly, methodically, painfully, and all with his victim's knowledge and utter helplessness. He was walking evil. And she'd fallen for his charm.

Shuddering slightly, she glanced down at the cut on her leg. She hadn't even felt the pain until it was far too late. Washing away the drying blood, she finished shaving her leg and lay back in the warm water. She was freezing...didn't know if she'd ever be warm again.

A sudden knock on the door made her start. "Sabryn?" her sister-in-law called out. "We bought a pizza. I thought you might like some."

She could barely summon the energy to reply. "I'll be out in a little while."

They were stopped in Des Moines for the night. They'd gotten three rooms in a cheap motel; one for her and the kids, one for her brother and Carly, and one for Mr. Skinner. She was grateful the children would be staying with her. She didn't want to be alone tonight.

With a shaking hand, she traced her fingers over the bruises dotting her flesh. She'd been attacked by a stranger, just for knowing Alex Krycek. It would seem she'd already paid a stiff enough price. But that wasn't where it ended. She'd grown to care for him, and in doing so she'd made a grave mistake. She was just lucky he hadn't tried to kill her like the others.

Swearing, she sat up straight and wrapped her arms around her tucked legs, resting her chin on her knee. She'd sworn to him she wouldn't stop believing in him, and now she was doing exactly that. The shame she felt was as comparable to that she often saw in her father's eyes.

No, God damn it. That wasn't the man she knew. He wasn't the one who had held her when she cried, who had told her some of his darkest secrets...who had taken her into his sanctuary even when it meant risking his own freedom. Alex hadn't walked away from the shadows of her past, and neither would she walk away from his. Doubt was one thing...full blown denial was another. Surely there was *some* good reason for what he'd done. And she couldn't pretend she hadn't seen the goodness in him.

Rising out of the water, letting the droplets run over her like little fingers, she unplugged the drain and reached for a towel. When she was dried and had gotten dressed, she wrapped the towel around her head and opened the door to the pungent scent of mozzarella.

"We were beginning to wonder if you were ever coming out of there."

Carly and the kids were sitting on one of the beds, an open pizza box at their feet. Jolie was flipping through the cable channels with the remote control, while Chris played with a long string of cheese. Sabryn had to smile. Those kids were two of her favorite people. They didn't judge her, and they hadn't ever let her down.

"Where are John and Mr. Skinner?"

"They both headed to their beds early. I guess driving took a lot out of them."

"I can sympathize."

Sabryn sat down on the bed next to Carly, her back against the head board. Taking a piece of pizza, she was content to eat in silence, but her sister-in-law had other plans.

"How are you doing, Bryn?"

"Fine."

"No, really. John told me about that man you were seeing. I'm really sorry."

"I know." Seeing that the kids were engrossed in the Jim Carrey movie on the television, Sabryn turned her attention to the other woman. "Do you think it's possible to be two different people at once?"

"What? You mean like split-personalities?"

"No. I mean...well, with different people, I tend to put on a different persona. With Mom and Daddy, I'm always defensive; with you and Johnny, I'm honest; with the kids, I'm playful. But it rarely ever mixes. You know what I mean?"

"I guess so. But it's all you. Whether you're Amanda, Mandy, Bryn, or Sabryn, you're always the same. You can't change who you are. No matter how hard you try."

Sabryn shifted uncomfortably and nodded.

"I was afraid you'd say that."

Part Three: Someone Else

Summary: Not everyone is who they seem to be.

For everyone who has followed me thus far. I love you all.

"In wartime, truth is so precious that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies."
--Sir Winston Churchill

After a long night in the frosty Iowa air, the cab of the truck was freezing. Sitting there with the engine running, Sabryn blew hot air on her hands and rubbed them briskly together. When she saw Mr. Skinner's hazy form walking towards her from outside the ice-coated window, she unlocked the door. Their suitcases were stored, and their breakfast of cold leftover pizza had been eaten. Yet when she saw the two steaming Styrofoam cups he was carrying, she nearly dived to take them from his hands.

"Oh, you are a God-send!"

Once he was seated and buckled in, she pulled out of the parking lot and made sure her sister-in-law followed. The sip of hot coffee, however scalding and black, put a smile on her face.

"About yesterday--"

Sabryn cringed. It was hard enough keeping Alex out of her thoughts. Hearing more about his nefarious deeds was the last thing she needed. "Look, Mr. Skinner--"

"I think I've given you the wrong impression about me. I did some thinking last night, and I realized that you didn't know what you were dealing with. I'm sure the news came as quite a blow."

"You could say that."

"That being said, I apologize for not showing you more sympathy."

She turned to look at him, meeting deep brown eyes that held no trace of the stubborn irritation she'd seen the day before. The lines had disappeared from his face, the harsh concentration and stress he bore on a daily basis having softened immensely. She could have sworn he looked like an entirely different person. Swallowing heavily, she nodded.

"Thank you, Mr. Skinner."

He even smiled. No teeth, but it was a start. "That's another thing." He unzipped his wind breaker, revealing the turtleneck and denim shirt he was wearing underneath. "I may be a hard-ass, but I don't allow anyone to call me Mr. Skinner when I'm out of 'uniform.'"

Sabryn grinned, wryly. "Then what should I call you?"

"Walter will be just fine...Sabryn."

"You've got a deal." Swallowing another sip of her coffee, she cast him a sideways glance. "I think that's the most I've ever seen you smile, Walter."

"Don't get used to it."

"Oh, I don't know...I bet I can make you smile more."

"Is that so?"

"Just give me some time."

Settling his arm on the middle console, he watched the road before them. "Looks like we might have some snow before long. You still ok to drive?"

"I think I can manage. I miss snow. Can you believe it's so close to Christmas?"

"Seems years away."

"Less than a week. I should've asked you earlier...do you have any family that you should be calling?"

He was silent for a long time, before sighing heavily. "Other than a bunch of distant cousins I haven't seen in years, my only family is my brother, Danny."

"Don't you want to tell him what's happening?"

"Danny hasn't spoken to me in years, and he'd refuse my call if I even tried."

She watched the slight sadness wash over his face and then disappear in a blink when he met her gaze.

"Danny's old high school sweetheart is my ex-wife, Sharon."

"Oh. I guess he didn't take that too well."

"No. It was bad enough that I married her, but, in his eyes, divorcing her was the ultimate sin."

"Have you ever tried talking to him, face to face?"

"I haven't been back to Abilene in years."

"Abilene?"

"Texas born and raised," he said, proudly. "But I grew up closer to Odessa."

"On a ranch?"

"No, but we used to help my uncle on his. Not a day passed in summer when my ass wasn't glued to a saddle."

She couldn't hide the smile on her face. "I didn't know you can ride."

"Oh, hell yes. Even tried my hand at bull riding for a while...until I broke my collar bone and my mom damned near broke my ass for bein' so damned stupid."

"How old were you?"

"Ten."

"Good grief, you were just a baby."

"Well I grew up pretty fast. Dad passed away a few years later and we had to move to a trailer. Danny and I got jobs as soon as we could to take some of the burden off of Mom. And even though she only worked as a receptionist, she still managed to save enough to help us with college."

"You were very lucky. I wish I'd finished school."

"It's still possible."

Neither of them said it, but they both knew the possibility was remote at best. If the invasion truly was on its way, nothing would ever be the same again.

"In a strange way," Walter continued, "this is almost similar. I put off college for a war, myself. Although I doubt Vietnam was anything like what's coming."

"Given the way that one ended, I hope you're right."

Several long miles passed in silence, as they were both lost in their own thoughts. Scared, but even more afraid to admit it. Desperate to lighten the mood once more, Sabryn sat up a bit higher and pulled in a deep breath.

"Why don't you sing a Christmas song with me?"

He didn't even take a moment to consider it. "No."

"Oh, come on. It'll be fun. I'll even start."

"Sabryn, no."

She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. "It's Christmas...baby, please come home..."

"Oh God."

"The snow's coming down, I'm watching it fall..."

"You sound terrible."

"Lots of people around. Baby, please come home."

"I don't even know this song."

"The church bells in town, are ringing the song. What a happy sound. Baby, please come home." She nudged his arm, trying to get him to chime in, but he stubbornly refused. "They're singing Deck the Halls, but it's not like Christmas at all. I remember when you were here, and all the fun we had last year."

"You sing like a dying animal."

"Ohhhhhh, ba-by please come home..."

And despite his obvious chagrin, not only was Walter smiling...the man was even laughing.

"You should have left him in the car."

"I have more trust for a rabid pit bull."

"Mulder, you could have cuffed him to the steering wheel. What's he going to do, hot wire the car and drive to meet up with someone conveniently carrying a hand cuff key?"

"I wouldn't put it past him."

Walking ahead of the two agents, Alex shook his head. They talked about him like a little kid...or as if he weren't in the same hallway. Pretty soon they'd resort to spelling everything they said.

Instead of returning him to the detention center as he'd expected, Mulder had taken him back to his own dingy apartment. Forced to sleep on the floor, his right hand cuffed to the agent, Alex hadn't been able to stifle the snide comment about Mulder's kinky sexual preferences. The bruise on his jaw was all he had to show for that remark. He'd learned his lesson and shut his mouth when he realized Scully would be spending the night as well. Unfortunately for both of them, she opted to sleep in Mulder's rarely used bedroom.

"I wish you had left me in the car, Mulder," Alex said over his shoulder. "I could've chewed my arm off like a wild animal and been long gone by now."

The only time he'd had the cuffs off in the last twenty-four hours was in a window-less bathroom. Even after the hot shower, his hand was still partially numb.

"Shut the hell up, Krycek."

"I think this is it," Scully said.

Mulder grabbed Alex's arm and stopped him before the wooden door as Scully double-checked the address. Giving her partner a nod, she knocked on the door. After waiting several seconds, she knocked again.

"Marita Covarrubias, this is Special Agent Scully. Mulder and I need to talk to you."

Still no answer. It obviously didn't surprise them.

Mulder started to reach for the door knob when Scully put her hand over his. The sudden crackle in the air was almost palpable. Alex stared at the two of them, fighting the urge to laugh. Jesus, they were so dense it was pathetic.

"Mulder, we don't have a warrant, or probable cause. We can't just break in."

"You really think she's gonna press charges?"

"She might--"

Before they could continue the pointless argument, Alex pushed Mulder out of the way and kicked the door open himself. Splintered wood flaked the floor as the door wobbled out of the way.

"Can we go in now, or would you two like to stand here in the hallway with your twisted little version of foreplay?"

Scully shot him a glare as she unholstered her gun and stepped in the doorway. "Marita Covarrubias, we just need to talk to you."

"I think we passed the just talking point when Conan here busted down the door," Mulder muttered.

The apartment was dim, lit only by the orangy glow of a few lamps and the small amount of sunlight filtering through the closed curtains. A cream-colored couch stood directly in front of them, a rumpled blanket and open magazine laying on the cushions. Stepping over to the couch, Mulder put his hand down on the cushion.

He mouthed the words "still warm, she's here" to his partner. Scully nodded.

"Ms. Covarrubias, you can make this a lot easier on yourself if you'd just cooperate with us."

Groaning in boredom, Alex flopped down into the chair across from the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table. Mulder glared at him before peeking his head into the bedroom.

"Marita?"

Mulder froze in the doorway, and despite his determination not to care, Alex couldn't help but sit up a little straighter in his chair. He couldn't hear what Mulder was saying, other than soft murmuring. Scully stepped over to stand in the doorway, watching her partner while also keeping an eye on Alex.

"Mulder?"

"It's ok," he said, coming closer to the door. "She was just putting some clean clothes on."

Alex could hear a door opening, most likely the bathroom, and Agent Scully seemed to wince slightly. She lowered her eyes and stepped away from the doorway, standing back as Mulder led the former Special Representative to the Secretary General of the United Nations out of the bedroom.

Jesus.

She met his gaze with the same crystal blue eyes he'd come to know so well, but that was the only thing familiar about the woman who stood before him. Where once a proud, confident, and defiant soul existed, only a shell of an experiment gone wrong remained. And in spite of himself, he felt sick to his stomach.

Her lustrous blond hair was gone, leaving only clumps of fuzz over a bald scalp. Her skin was pale and blotchy, not the soft honey-gold flesh he'd once explored so thoroughly. Her hand shook as she raised it to her head, shamed at her own appearance, her fingernails bruised and tattered. Stubby eyelashes swept away sudden moisture. Surely not tears. Marita never cried. But this wasn't Marita, was it? This was someone else entirely.

Mulder led her over to seat on the couch, and she balled her hands up in her lap. Watching Alex with wary eyes. Looking every bit as calm as a mouse before a cat.

Sitting down next to her, Mulder ran a hand over her head. "I like the new look," he said, somehow making the comment sound affectionate.

"It fell out gradually," she said, opening her mouth for the first time. "But it's starting to grow back."

Her voice was scratchy, too quiet, nothing like the calm beauty he was used to. Before him sat the bitch who once betrayed him, and he couldn't bring himself to feel anything but pity. Even the idea that she'd once defied him, showing spirit he hadn't known she had, did nothing to anger him. It was a shame that spark of life was nowhere to be found.

"It's cancer, isn't it?"

Marita met Scully's gaze. "Yes."

"Why--why did you remove the chip?"

"I'd rather die than be their slave. Or their experiment."

Alex didn't need to ask to find out what they'd done to her. He knew all too well. When once he might have felt nothing but cold indifference, he lowered his gaze in shame. Because not only had he never fought the experiments on the black oil victims, he'd performed some of them himself.

When the fuck had he started to grow a conscience? Hardening himself to the job may have taken years, but he'd perfected it to an art. And now, after only a few short weeks, that stony facade was chipping away bit by bit with every passing minute.

*Jesus, Sabryn, what the hell are you doing to me?*

Mulder took Marita's hand between his. "You've been going to chemotherapy?"

"At the beginning, yes. But I didn't like being so weak."

Looking up at his partner, Mulder held her gaze for several long minutes. Finally, he said, "When did you remove the chip?"

"When Jeffrey first brought me here. He did it. Gave me bourbon for the pain," she added with a slight smile.

"Where is Spender?"

"Dead."

Scully took a step forward. "Dead?"

"He told me that he was going to clean out his office and that we'd leave here. He said we were in too much danger here. He was going to take care of me. But he never came back."

"How do you know he didn't leave, by himself?"

"He wouldn't have done that. He wouldn't have risked himself to get me out of that base just to leave me here."

Marita met Alex's gaze again, and he knew what she was thinking. That night, when Spender broke her out of the facility, was the last time he'd seen her. Spender had asked for his help, and he turned his back on them. He walked away, saved his own ass. As usual. And yet there wasn't a trace of blame on her face.

"Did he tell you anything before he left, about why he might have been in danger?"

"He knew too much. About his father, and their activities. And by refusing to play along, he became a threat."

"What about what you knew, and the things they did to you?"

Marita lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry, but I really don't remember anything more than what I already told Agent Mulder that night. Most of my memories are gone."

Before either of the agents could reply, Marita lifted her head once more and looked directly at Alex.

"He knows. He knows a lot more than I could ever tell you."

"I never did get him to sing along," Sabryn complained as she pushed her empty plate away.

Stopped in a noisy diner just outside Aberdeen, South Dakota, they'd crowded into the only booth available and ordered anything hot to warm their bellies. Snow fell steadily outside, blanketing the ground with a fresh layer of powder. More chilling than the snow, however, were the gusts of wind that burst in whenever someone opened the door.

"With the way you sing, I'm not surprised," John said, dodging her kick under the table.

"I was just trying to lighten the mood." She glanced at her niece and nephew, deliberately neglecting to mention why they'd been melancholy to begin with. "I think I did a fabulous job."

Walter grinned at her, amazing her again with that smile he just seemed to have produced. "I haven't laughed so hard in months."

"Watch it, before I kick you too."

Carly set down her mug of tea. "Mr. Skinner, I hate to change the subject, but I've been wondering just what your agents will do with Alex? Is he going to prison?"

"I can't tell you that for sure, Caroline. And please, call me Walter."

"Surely you must know something, Walter." She cast a glance at Sabryn. "It seems quite unfair for him to be punished after all he's done to help us."

John shifted, scowling. "Could we please not talk about Alex Krycek while I'm eating my dinner?"

Before Carly could reply, Jolie looked up from the place mat she was coloring and announced to the entire non-smoking section, "Daddy said Alex Krycek is a scum-sucking, motherfucker."

Sabryn could feel her mouth drop open and Carly paled, staring at her nine-year-old daughter with wide eyes.

"Wha's a motherfu--"

"Don't you dare repeat that word, Christopher!" Standing up from the booth, Carly pointed a finger towards the door. "Jolie Dawn Pruitt, take your brother and go out to the camper right now."

"But Mom--"

"Go!"

As the kids scurried away, Sabryn turned her attention to her brother and met his shamed gaze. To his credit, she could see out of the corner of her eye that Walter wasn't even smiling.

Pushing her way out of the booth, she passed the flustered waitress and muttered, "I'll have my pie to go, please."

"I won't be able to tell anyone a damn thing if you starve me to death. I haven't eaten in over twenty-four hours."

"Mulder, he's right." Alex stared up at Scully in confusion, suspicious of her sudden compassion for him. "You have to get him something to eat."

"I--I have some things in the kitchen," Marita offered. "I can make a sandwich."

Obviously reluctant, Mulder stood. "Get up."

Unable to push himself out of the chair with his hands, Alex glared at Mulder as the agent yanked him to his feet.

Marita hurried ahead of them, her bare feet padding across the carpet, in obvious haste to avoid him. She pushed open the swinging door to the kitchen, standing far out of the way as Mulder led him into the room.

"I'm surprised you don't follow me when I take a piss, Mulder."

"Shut your smart mouth, or you'll be pissing in your pants from now on."

Leaning against the counter, Alex watched as Marita opened a bag of bread and set two slices on the counter. Despite her appearance, she still moved with the same grace she always possessed. And with the light hint of her shampoo in the air, he could almost close his eyes and remember her exactly as she'd been. Her face flushed with passion, lips parting to scream his name, fingernails clawing at his back. One deceptive lie after another.

Out in the living room, he could hear a cell phone ring, and the muffled sound of Scully's voice as she answered the call. A few seconds later, she pushed open the door.

"Mulder, I need to talk to you."

She glanced at Alex, before gesturing for Mulder to follow her.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Mulder, we're three flights up, and you and I will be closer to the door. Krycek isn't going anywhere."

Glancing back at Marita, Mulder sought her gaze. "You'll be all right?"

Alex laughed, without a trace of humor. "What the hell am I going to do to her?"

"I'll be fine," Marita said, softly.

Nodding, Mulder stepped out the door.

Alex wasn't quite sure what was more enticing--the chance to listen to their conversation, or to intimidate the hell out of the traitor who stood before him. Looking at her sickeningly panicky expression, the former won out in the end. Leaning closer to the door, not enough to accidentally push it open, he only caught mere fragments of what Scully said.

"...identified the intruder...had several aliases...been following her for weeks...just like Cardinal...no doubt looking for Krycek..."

Alex had already figured that much out himself. The man who'd attacked Sabryn, sent by the Syndicate, had been looking for him. Had been one of his own, a Garnet agent, sent to turn on him and take him down. Only she'd been in the way.

"...maybe witness protection...guards and security...safe, so he can tell us...may be our only chance..."

Fucking morons. They didn't know who the hell they were dealing with. Witness protection wasn't going to help him. These men knew everything. He wouldn't be surprised if they were watching him right now.

"What did you want on your sandwich?"

Marita's question drew him away from the door. No longer whispering, her voice sounded almost normal. She stood a little straighter, met his gaze and held it. He narrowed his eyes.

"Doesn't matter."

She pulled some packaged meats and a jar of mayonnaise out of the fridge, slamming the door and setting everything down with a loud clatter. Opening the nearby drawer, she looked confused for a moment, closed it, and opened another drawer.

"What are you looking for?"

"The knives. I always forget where things are."

With her back to him, she reached in the drawer before closing it and opening another one.

"Found them." She pulled out a knife and turned towards the counter, but the utensil slipped right out of her fingers.

As she dropped down the pick it up, she was about to smack her head on the open drawer when Alex stepped forward and closed it. Stooped closer to her level, he could just barely hear her whisper, "Take these, get out of here."

He met her gaze, and she grabbed his hand and shoved what she was holding into his palm. Out of one of the drawers, she'd found a set of keys. Among others, a small handcuff key.

"What the--"

"Go, I'll keep them distracted."

Now he was looking at the Marita he once knew. The proud, confident woman who could be as devious as any man in the Syndicate. Even with her balding head and sallow complexion, there was a transformed light in her eyes that was almost startling.

"There's a fire escape one floor down from that window. Jump down to it, and run."

"I can't do that cuffed."

"You have to, there's no time. Go, Alex. You have to stop them before it's too late. There's nothing more I can do. I'm not strong enough. And Agent Mulder won't let you go without a fight."

He hesitated for a moment.

"Go."

Heading to the window, he pushed it up in its frame, glancing back at Marita as she made some noise to cover the sound. Shit. It looked like miles to the fire escape. Putting his right leg over the sill, he looked back at her one last time. Neither one of them had to say the word, but both knew it was the final good-bye.

Bending to duck his head under the open window, he held onto the sill with a firm grip as he performed one hell of a contortionist's act to bend his other leg and get it out the window. Sitting on the window frame, he took a deep breath and leapt forward.

He hit hard on the iron fire escape, the boom echoing in the alley way, pitching forward and slamming his side against the railing. Pain ricocheted through him, hard enough to make him cry out loud. Cursing, he backed up towards the wall, heard Mulder's shouting, grabbing on to the ladder to the ground with the keys still in his grip. He didn't have time to climb down before a warning shot buzzed past his ear. Dropping through the opening, he hit the ground and rolled, fighting the pain, scrambling to his feet, and running like hell before Mulder decided to shoot again.

The crunch of snow under his boots announced John's presence before he ever spoke a word. Blinking the flakes from her eyelashes, Sabryn crossed her arms over her chest and continued staring at the truck stop across the road.

"If Caroline ordered you to come apologize, you can save your breath."

"Jolie needs to learn to keep her mouth shut."

She shot him a murderous glare over her shoulder. "Don't you dare blame this on that little girl. I'm so mad at you right now, Johnny, I don't even trust myself to punch you. I'd no doubt do permanent damage. I can't even believe you would say something like that in front of your daughter."

"I didn't know she could hear me. You know I'd never talk like that in front of the kids."

She let out a harsh breath, watching the cloud of vapor disintegrate before her face. "Why would you say it at all, after what I've told you?"

"Sabryn--"

"That man is saving our lives, John."

"One right does not cancel out the hundreds of wrongs he's done." When she didn't answer him, he put his hand on her shoulder. "You're going to freeze to death out here."

"Don't touch me." Turning to face him, she was sickened by the false remorse in his eyes. "What has he ever done to you, John? Nothing. And they have no proof for what they claim he has done...other than a few things Walter saw with his own eyes."

"Assault and attempted murder of a Federal agent, Bryn. A felony. You can't deny that."

"I didn't deny that. But people can change."

"God, you're so damned stubborn, and my daughter is becoming just like you. Take off the blinders before you crash, because it will happen. I'm trying to protect you."

"You can't hold my hand for the rest of my life. Some mistakes I need to make on my own." When he started to look away, she grabbed his face and held his gaze. "When I was a little girl, I used to worship you. You were like Superman to me, Johnny. Even when you teased and taunted me, there was nothing you could do wrong in my eyes. You took Daddy's place as the most important man in my life, because you loved me like he never did. But I can't hold that place for you forever. I won't."

He reached up to take hold of her wrists, blinking rapidly to whisk away the sudden moisture in his eyes. "I never asked you to. And I'm not doing this out of some warped sort of jealousy. This guy is bad news, Sabryn."

"Then that's for me to figure out. And it's not for you to comment on, or to judge...or to curse and scream about in front of a little girl and a five-year-old boy."

His voice was barely a whisper. "I'm sorry."

"Are you really?"

"I'm trying to be."

She gave him a half smile. "I guess that's all I can hope for."

Behind her husband, Caroline cleared her throat. "Walter was kind enough to take care of the bill, and we can get back on the road...if you're both ready to go?"

Pulling the keys to the truck out of her pocket, Sabryn nodded. "Yes, we are." She glanced back at her brother, adding, "But something tells me this isn't the end of the discussion for you, Mr. Pruitt."

Caroline licked her lips. "You've got that right."

Walking back to the truck, Sabryn met Walter's grim expression. "You all right?" he asked, softly.

"I'm never going to see Alex again, am I?"

"No, you're not."

She laid the keys in his hand and let out a shuddering breath. "I think maybe you should drive."

Part Four: Never Surrender

Summary: Time is running out and reality sets in.

For Diadem, who has been my champion and friend for one whole year now. I'm still amazed I haven't sent you running for the hills!

He who has nothing to die for has nothing to live for.
~Moroccan proverb

"Who wrote these directions, anyway?" Sabryn asked, squinting at the page. "It looks like chicken scratch."

"I did."

"Oh." She glanced at Walter sheepishly. "Sorry. Take a right onto the dirt road."

After stopping for the night and driving six solid hours the next morning, they were almost to their destination. Desperate for a bathroom and something to eat, Sabryn was practically bouncing in her seat. Departing ND 1, just north of Lawton, they'd driven for at least eight miles down the most deserted road she'd ever seen. No houses, no cars to pass, not a thing moving aside from the sparse snowflakes.

"Are you sure we're even in the right place? There's nothing out here."

"He said it would look deserted."

"Who?"

"Krycek."

Sabryn closed her eyes briefly, but it didn't matter. She could still see his face before her, as clear as the moment she'd last seen him. Angry, mistrusting, accusing. It was getting harder to remember him any other way. She'd only been away from him for a couple of days, but it felt like years.

"Alex told you to come here?"

"It was the best option, so I took it."

"Is it...his cabin we're looking for?"

"No. I never knew the man's real name. He was the Syndicate's London representative." Walter met her gaze. "If Krycek is to be believed, his name was John Victor Reginald. Reginald brought him here after rescuing him from the missile silo he was locked in four years ago."

"Are we near the silo now?"

"I believe it's about twenty miles to the North."

There was some morbid fascination that made her want to see the place, to know what Alex had been through. Maybe if she could see it, she'd understand what made him do the things he did. Just the very thought of him, weak and dehydrated, frozen with hypothermia, having given up on ever seeing a human face again, made her shudder. He'd been dumped in a hole in the ground, left to die, by the very man he once worked for. It was no wonder Alex made no alliances.

Sitting up a little straighter, she pointed to a break in the trees. "There's the turn. The cabin should be at the end of that road."

As Walter steered the truck around the corner, his cell phone started ringing in his coat pocket.

"Can you answer that?" he asked, nodding towards the back seat.

Sabryn reached for his coat and pulled the phone out. Pressing the talk button, she said, "You've reached Walter Skinner's phone."

She could hear Walter softly laugh next to her as the caller answered her.

"Sabryn?"

"Yeah."

"This is Mul--Fox."

She couldn't staunch the sudden blossoming of relief in her chest. "Fox, where are you?"

"Still in Washington. I've been trying to call since last night and couldn't get through."

"Maybe we were out of range."

Walter interrupted, "I had the battery recharging. I just turned the phone back on when we stopped for gas."

"Did you hear that, Fox?"

"Yeah, I did," he answered, sounding distracted. "Look, I need to talk to Skinner."

"I wanted to ask you--"

"Please, Sabryn, this is important."

"All right." Handing the phone to Walter, she impatiently bit her lip. She'd wanted so badly to ask about Alex, and their plans for him. Not knowing was driving her crazy. "He wants to talk to you."

It was odd to see the sudden transformation on Walter's face. Suddenly, he was back to being the Assistant Director again. The difference in expression was startling.

"Skinner." He listened for a moment, his eyes narrowing, before locking his jaw and exhaling heavily. "How much lead does he have?" More silence, and then a hushed curse. Lowering his voice, he kept his gaze trained on the road. "Damn it, Mulder, I can't believe you let this happen again."

Curiosity was killing her as they rounded the curve in the road and the cabin came into sight. And then the conversation on the phone faded into white noise.

My God. John Victor Reginald must have been one hell of a rich man if this was merely an occasional residence. The two story log home was larger than the building she lived in. Well, once lived in anyway.

The sloped metal roof kept the snow at bay, and the warm golden color of the thick pine logs looked as inviting as a soft blanket. She could see three chimneys, and couldn't wait to heat up in front of crackling fire. The place wasn't overly fancy, but large, surrounded by acres of trees and snow-covered fields. If she was going to face Armageddon, at least she was going in style.

"No, damn it," Walter barked into the phone. "Finish your business and get your asses on a plane. If we're lucky, I know where he'll show up sooner or later."

If that statement couldn't get her attention, nothing could. As Walter hung up the phone and tossed it on the dashboard with an irritated groan, she pinned him with her gaze.

"What's happening?"

"I think you already know."

"Alex escaped?"

He didn't say a word, just stopped the truck in front of the cabin and turned off the engine. Judging by the ruddy color of his face, he was one step away from losing his composure.

He silently got out of the truck and closed the door, heading for the cabin. Swallowing heavily, Sabryn unbuckled her seat belt and hastily followed.

"They don't know where he is?"

"No, but I think I know where he's headed."

She stared at him, before letting out a little laugh. "He could go anywhere. He wouldn't come here."

"Don't be so sure about that."

"Walter, Alex and I are just friends. No matter what it might seem like, I can assure you he has no reason to follow me. He's already had the vaccine and any area to the North is as good as another."

"That may be true, but he didn't give me specific instructions for getting you out of the state for nothing."

She ignored the slight flutter of her heart. No. Alex didn't want anything to do with her. "He'd be crazy to come here."

"No one ever said the man was sane."

She was about to reply when her brother pulled the camper to a stop behind the truck and Jolie hit the ground running. Racing up the front steps and nearly knocking her aunt over, she squealed.

"This place is so cool!"

"Don't get too excited," Walter warned. "We don't even know if we have power or running water."

Shaking off their previous conversation, Sabryn ran her hand over her niece's blond hair. "Why don't we go in and find out?"

Handing her the keys, Walter nodded. "I'll go help John unload the suitcases."

Jolie trotted over to the window and peered into the darkened room beyond, waiting impatiently as Sabryn unlocked the door and pushed it open. They stepped into cabin, letting their eyes adjust to the dimness.

"Wow, Bryn, look! It has a loft. Can I have that room?"

"You'll have to ask your Mom." Standing before the open living room, Sabryn shivered. It was no wonder there were three chimneys; it would take all of the fireplaces just to get this one room warm. And considering the six doors that led off the area, keeping the bedrooms warm would be a chore in itself. Reaching for the light switch, she frowned when nothing happened. "I guess we can forget about power."

"What about water? I gotta pee."

"Me too. Let's find the bathroom."

Opening the door nearest them, they found a closet stacked full of bed linens and towels. Next to that was a bedroom with one full wall of windows, spilling light onto the bare queen-sized bed. Just past that door was the first of the fireplaces, the main heat source for the living room.

"Maybe over there," Sabryn said, pointing towards the doors on the opposite wall.

Jolie hurried over to the first door and revealed another bedroom, this one with two bare twin-sized mattresses. Finally, opening the fourth door, Jolie found the bathroom and hurried inside. Before she closed the door, she cast a quick glance at her aunt.

"Go ahead, Sweetie. I can wait."

As Jolie closed the door, Sabryn turned around to see Caroline lumbering up the porch stairs with her sleeping son on her shoulder. Stepping forward, Sabryn gladly relieved the pregnant woman of her load. Chris stirred for a second before going limp against her and falling back to sleep.

"Thank you," Carly whispered.

"Sure."

"If I'd heard one more 'Are we there yet?' out of Jolie, I was going to spontaneously combust."

Sabryn stifled a smile. "Well, I don't think your troubles are over yet. It doesn't look like we have power."

"I heard Mr. Skinner saying something about a generator."

"Let's hope he's right."

"What about beds?"

"It looks like there are four bedrooms, as well as the loft. I think Jolie already claimed that for herself."

"I'm not surprised."

"I'll sleep up there with her, if you don't want her to be alone. I doubt you want Chris climbing that ladder."

"No, I don't. And that would be nice of you."

John stepped into the cabin and dumped the suitcases on the floor, stepping aside for Walter to do the same. Taking a look at the sheet-draped couches and table lamps, he shrugged. "This place isn't too bad."

"We don't have power," Sabryn said. "I don't know about water."

"But it looks like we've got plenty of blankets and fireplaces," Caroline added.

"There's a gas generator out back that we can use for the lights at night. We just need to remember to shut it off before going to bed." Walter nodded towards the archway at the end of the room. "And there should be a wood stove in the kitchen. If all else fails, we can heat snow and make our own water."

Burying her face against Christopher's neck, breathing in his meadow-sweet scent, Sabryn sighed. The place wasn't so great after all, but it was better than nothing. Still, it was hard to keep her mind focused on the cabin...instead of Alex Krycek. Praying he wouldn't show his face here. And hoping like hell that he would.

Meeting Sabryn's gaze, Walter said, "Take care of anything urgent. You and I need to go shopping."

"Now?"

"If you want to eat tonight and be able to see where you're going."

Passing Chris to John, she nodded. "OK. Just give me five minutes."

He'd watched the house all day, expecting an ambush. Several times he'd seen cars slowly driving past the area, seeming to crawl as they passed the property. If they were looking for him, they wouldn't recognize him. Driving a boosted pick-up and wearing an old smelly pair of coveralls he'd found in a Dumpster, he reached into the cargo bed to remove the empty toolbox...looking every bit as if he were about to repair Mrs. Johnson's plumbing.

The baseball hat on his head did a good job of concealing the fact that his false mustache didn't match his hair. If not for the nosy neighbors, he would have ripped off the annoying blond bristly object and stomped it into the ground.

Dropping his toolbox next to the wall, he went back to the truck and grabbed a clipboard full of papers. Keeping up the pretense of a man checking his work order. But the moment he was out of the line of sight from the road, standing in the familiar back yard, he reached into his pocket for the tools he'd found to pick the garage dead bolt.

A few seconds later, the smaller garage door was open, spilling light onto the rusty heap of metal that Mrs. Johnson called her car. A heavy canvas drop cloth covered the floor, darkened with oil spots the same ugly brown as the car itself. Decades ago, the 1954 Buick might have been a beauty. Now it was just a hunk of junk.

Soon to be his hunk of junk.

Stepping away from the doorway, he was about to head around to the front when he heard the distinct click of a hammer cocking. He froze, a string of obscenities running through his mind.

"Don't move," the deep, husky voice said behind him.

Alex suddenly relaxed rigid stance. "Who do you think you're fooling with that voice, Audrey?"

"Alex?" the woman asked, in a much higher-pitched voice. "Damn you, you scared the shit out of me!"

He turned around and stared at her, waiting patiently while she flipped the safety back on the gun he'd given her for protection. Half his size and as soft-spoken as a mouse, his landlady needed all the safety she could get.

"What the hell are you still doing here? I told you to get out of the state."

"And I told you I'm not leaving until I'm good and ready. My kids are coming for Christmas. It's going to be special."

He glanced out the door at the lights that decorated the house. Special...like a multicolored nightmare.

But it was useless arguing with her. She was as stubborn as the fat orange cat that was busily rubbing itself against his leg.

"Did the Feds search the garage when they were here?"

She nodded, pushing up her glasses. "They searched everything. But they didn't find anything in here. They didn't bother to lift up the drop cloth."

"Good. I need you to pull out the car so I can get the stuff. While you do that, I'm going to see what's left of the apartment."

The sad look she gave him spoke volumes. He knew the place was going to be a wreck.

"I didn't touch anything. I was going to clean up, but I didn't know what you had in there you might not want me to see."

Pausing in the doorway, he glanced back at her. "It wouldn't have mattered. Even if there's the slightest chance they missed something, all of the secrets will be out soon enough."

He could hear the rattle of the main garage door opening as he crossed the lawn. The few flowers that had survived the cool winter were either dying from recent frost or had been trampled by dozens of feet.

When he stepped down the stairs to his apartment, the door wasn't even locked. Pushing it open, he stared at the space in disgust. What hadn't been torn apart in the search for evidence was dumped carelessly on the floor. Lamps were broken; the mattress and bedding were torn from the frame and tossed aside; his bathroom cabinets had been opened, their contents thrown around like so much garbage. His leather couch had been all but stripped. He stepped over piles of clothing, pillow stuffing, his shoes crunching broken glass into the carpet.

"Fuck."

He fisted his hand, fighting the urge to hit something. It wouldn't do any good. Anything worth smashing was already in pieces. Sinking down onto the bare mattress, he ran his fingers through his short hair. Exhaling heavily, he ripped the false mustache off his face and let it fall to the floor with the rest of the mess.

Living the kind of life he did, it wasn't smart to get attached to anything. Most of these things were just possessions, easily replaced. But this had been his home. Not much of one, admittedly, but it was his own. Private and unspoiled, untouched by the foulness of the outside world. Until now. Until her.

Part of him wanted to hate Sabryn for that. For bringing the FBI right through his door.

But the rest of him could do nothing more than remember lying here with her between his sheets. Feeling her smooth skin beneath his, hearing her soft breathing in his ear, tasting the sweetness of her kiss. The way she touched him, reverently, tender and pure, like nothing he'd ever known before.

Reaching down to the pillow case by his foot, he shook the broken shards of glass from the fabric and held it to his face. Breathing in the slightest lingering trace of her. Wondering if she'd known she was the only other person to ever set foot in his apartment until that awful day.

Until he was betrayed.

Narrowing his eyes, he balled up the fabric in his hand, tossing it away from him, wishing he could do the same to the memory. He didn't know what to believe anymore. A smart man would pack up his few remaining belongings and get his ass as far out of town, and away from her, as he could.

Apparently, he wasn't as smart as he once thought.

Leaning against the handle of the plastic cart, Sabryn stared at the selection of cookies before her and shook her head. Until now, she hadn't been more depressed in her life. She was standing in the middle of the Devil's Lake K-Mart, trying to decide what type of cookie she'd like to eat before she died. If that wasn't pathetic, nothing was.

After two hours spent trailing up and down the aisles of Wally's Supermarket, the back of the truck was nearly full. And yet they still thought they needed more. There was no telling what was to come. Panicked by the upcoming Y2K dilemma, citizens were stocking up on anything and everything they might need in the upcoming days. Little did they know just how desperately correct they were. And if they didn't buy now, there might not be anything left.

Canned goods, boxed dinners, cereal, anything that might last. Gallon jugs of water, purchased not only for the water inside but to hold any melted snow they might later use. Pans and cooking utensils for the kitchen; toilet paper and shampoo for the bathroom; gas cans to fill at the nearest station and use for the generator. Candles, blankets, snow gear, batteries, toys and games for the kids. Still, it seemed they were forgetting things. At the rate the snow was falling, they weren't even sure they'd be able to make it back into town again if necessary. They had to get as much as they could now.

Glancing from the fluffy marshmallow Twirls to the Fudge Striped Keebler's, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. When she looked up she expected to see Walter heading towards her, but started slightly at the intimate stare of a stranger. At the end of the aisle, wearing a denim jacket, the red-headed man didn't bother to look away. He didn't even smile. His open appraisal gave her the chills.

*Maybe he just thinks I'm sexy.*

Oh yeah--dead tired, no make-up, no shower in twenty-four hours, and wearing sweats--she was Venus come alive.

She offered him a slight smile, hoping to provoke a response. He only continued to stare. She was about to forget the cookies and get away from him when she heard footsteps behind her. Walter stepped up next to her, holding a shot gun and a box of shells.

"Just when I was hoping John Wayne would come to my rescue," she said, softly.

"Excuse me?"

She glanced back at the end of the aisle, only to see that the man had disappeared. "I--nothing. I guess I'm getting paranoid."

Setting the box and the gun in the cart, he glanced at her sideways. "About?"

"Everything. I've avoided thinking about it all this time, but..." She reached for the box of fudge cookies and tossed it to him. "I realized these may be the last cookies I ever eat."

He blinked, silently nodding his head. "In that case, you better get two packages."

His attempt to make her smile failed. "Yeah, I guess so." She nodded towards the gun. "Worried about intruders?"

"That's the least of my worries. And I think we're going to need a lot more guns...but it's going to look suspicious if we check out of here with a cart full. We'll have to find a gun shop tomorrow. I'll use my credentials to get past the waiting period."

She swallowed heavily. "Ok."

After an awkward silence, he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm assuming you didn't search every aisle in the grocery store, looking for teriyaki sauce, for nothing. I don't suppose you're going to make us something special for dinner?"

"Well, I have been told I make the best teriyaki chicken in the country."

"Is that so?"

The light teasing tone of his voice finally coaxed the smile to her lips. "Yes, that's so...but I don't have any pine nuts. They really make the dish."

"I think we can suffer through it."

"All right."

"And maybe even a bottle of wine to go with it?"

"To drown my sorrows?"

He cocked his head and smiled. "Something like that."

"If you dish us up some killer ice cream for dessert, you've got yourself a deal."

Alex walked back to the garage, disguise forgotten in heap in his apartment, carrying a plastic garbage bag full of his clothes. Audrey had the car idling in the driveway, the trunk open, parked in front of the open garage door. She was just pulling the stained drop cloth aside when he neared the car.

"I figured you'd be asking to borrow the car anyway."

He gave her a slight smirk and it was obvious by her nod that she understood his expression of thanks. Alex glanced back at the cement floor of the garage, and the now exposed wooden door flush with the surface. As Audrey pulled on the rope handle and the door opened, light spilled into the tiny room below...illuminating the stock he'd been accumulating for months.

Crate after crate of weapons, ammunition, and enough explosives to take out half the city.

"You do realize if you get pulled over with this stuff in my car, I'm telling them you stole the Buick?" Audrey asked.

He couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I know."

Stepping down the short ladder, he reached for the first crate and began hefting it up to her. About twenty minutes later, the car was packed. Empty crates littered the lawn, and Alex was using an old blanket to cover the rifles in the back seat. Picking up her cat, Audrey cuddled the orange fur ball to her chest, causing it to purr louder than a lawn mower.

Satisfied that everything was well hidden, Alex turned around and met her woeful gaze.

"Are you gonna say good bye, or not?"

She turned up her nose and blinked rapidly. "Of course not. And I'm not giving you this car for free, either."

He cursed under his breath. He'd known this was coming. Yet another one of her favors. He could only guess what it would be this time.

"You and I both know I'm not leaving here," she continued. "This is my house and no one--or thing--is going to drive me out of it. That being said, I'm not entirely cruel..."

"What do you want, Audrey?"

Before he could guess what she was up to, she plopped the cat down in his hands.

"I want you to take Cheeser with you."

"No way." He started to push the cat back towards her, only to have Audrey push back just as hard. Caught in the middle, Cheeser let out a low growl. "Damn it, I'm not taking your cat."

"She won't bother you. She likes you. And I want her to have a good chance. She's not old, like me."

"Neither are you, now take--"

Audrey was already walking away. "She's your cat now, Alex. You better remember to stop and let her out every once in a while, or she'll pee in the car."

"I'm not taking her--Audrey!"

He glared down at the cat, its chubby body hanging from his grip, tempted to drop-kick it back into yard. Undaunted, Cheeser stared right back at him with big golden eyes and purred.

"Son of a bitch."

Taking a sip of wine from her plastic cup, Sabryn watched her brother place his last card on the coffee table and raise his hands in triumph.

"I'm out!"

"You cheater."

He stuck his tongue out at her as Caroline gathered up the cards from the pile. Grumbling under her breath, Jolie counted her remaining cards, and promptly got ready to play again.

"I think it's time we went to bed," John announced.

"Aw, Dad..."

"Go, Jolie. It's almost midnight. I think you've played enough Uno for one night."

"I'll be up in a little bit," Sabryn told her as Jolie headed for the ladder.

After returning from the shopping expedition, she'd begun making her way around the kitchen, getting dinner started, becoming acquainted with the layout. Unlike the rest of the house, the kitchen was surprisingly modern. Yet, to save gas, she'd chosen to use the wood stove to cook over instead of the range. It had been an experience she'd sooner forget.

The beds were all made, thanks to Carly and the kids. The sheets had been removed from the plush couches, revealing an inviting plaid fabric. Sitting on the floor between the couch and the coffee table, Sabryn leaned back and watched the flickering fire. The stock in the wood shed would last them quite a while, but there was no telling just how long they'd be here. Or if they'd ever leave alive.

She blinked away the thought, attempting to smile as John pulled his wife to her feet. Dressed in his fuzzy blue pajamas, the ones that covered his feet, Chris padded after his parents into their room.

"Good night," Carly called, from the doorway.

"Night."

Glancing back at Walter, where he sat on the couch behind her, Sabryn gave him an apprehensive smile. It was easy to forget the situation and pretend everything was fine in the presence of her family. The kids didn't know what was happening, and their innocent enthusiasm was contagious. But all alone, with the one man who understood what was to come better than any of them...she was defenseless.

The wine was creating a warm pool in the pit of her stomach, but even that didn't stop her shivers.

Licking her lips, she met his steady gaze. "Don't you ever get afraid, knowing what's coming?"

"I've had a lot longer to process this than you have."

She lowered her gaze.

"Yes, Sabryn. I'm afraid of what's coming. Anyone would be a fool not to be."

"I don't know whether to sob like a baby or laugh my ass off. The whole thing is so absurd. I keep wishing it was all a big hoax."

"I've lost too many nights of sleep worrying about this. All we can do is be prepared."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It is simple. Either we lay down and die or we fight. Either way, we can't predict the future."

Climbing to her feet, she sat down on the couch beside him and pulled the blanket off the arm rest to drape across her lap. Curling up her feet, she rested her head against the back of the couch.

"Have you ever made a list of things you wanted to do before you died?"

He was silent for a moment, staring at the flames. "No. Not exactly. But I think I would have liked to go snorkeling in the Caribbean."

Sabryn smiled. "That sounds nice. I always wanted to go sky diving. And visit Italy. I'd once dreamed I might go there for my honeymoon...but I guess I can forget that now."

He turned to look at her, obviously noting the change in her tone. His own voice softened in response. "Did you want children?"

"I didn't used to. But when Jolie and Chris were born, and I got to help take care of them, I fell in love with them." She tried not to imagine what her own children would have been like. The very thought made her eyes sting. "What about you?"

"Me? No. I mean, I guess I would have liked to at one time...but Sharon and I were too immature. We couldn't even take care of a marriage, let alone a child."

They sat in silence for a moment, before he hastily stood up. "Now that everyone is asleep, I think it's time we break out the good ice cream."

She grinned at him as he walked away, but was suddenly grateful for his departure. Wiping errant tears from her eyes, she took a deep breath and fought down the sadness. He was right, she knew. She couldn't surrender to despair. Not now. Not when everyone was depending on her. They needed each other. They were all they had left.

Sitting up straighter, she moved her feet as he returned and sat down. The two pint-sized cartons he held made her mouth water.

"Ooh, Ben and Jerry's. You weren't kidding about the good stuff."

"I thought we'd save this for emergencies."

She couldn't help but smirk as she took a spoon from him and pried open the lid. Since the refrigerator needed electricity to remain cold, it was useless to them. So, instead, they kept the ice cream and milk in a Styrofoam carton outside. Judging by the ice crystals melting under her fingers, it was plenty cold out there.

Digging her spoon into the rich chocolate and marshmallow, she took a bite and moaned. "Mmmmm."

Walter chuckled softly, opening his own container. "Well, I guess I was smart in picking out Phish Food."

"This is one of my favorites." She stared over at his carton with wide eyes. "I've never seen that one before. Is that new?"

"A limited edition."

She looked up to meet his gaze and blushed at the way he was staring at her. She could only imagine what she looked like, coveting his ice cream.

"Would you like a bite?" he asked.

She nodded. As he handed over his carton, she set hers in her lap. Digging her spoon into the frozen cream, she tugged hard to get her bite out, only to have the chunk go sailing through the air and land in front of the fire.

And she laughed so suddenly that she snorted.

Covering her mouth with her hand, she closed her eyes and giggled even harder. She could feel her face turning redder with every passing second. When she finally pulled her hand away and dared to open her eyes, she was so close to him she gasped.

She didn't know whether she had moved, or if it had been him...or maybe both. Whatever the case, his smiling face was right next to hers. His light after shave filling her lungs. The warmth of his brown eyes almost twinkling at her. And when he leaned closer and touched his lips to hers, she didn't pull away.

Heart pounding, fingers clenching around the ice cream carton, she shyly opened her mouth to his. Some odd little impulse she was too tired to fight. Softly, he brushed her lips with his own, the lightest whisper of moist contact, before a gentle tug at her lower lip. And then he pulled away, after mere seconds, and the carton fell out of her hands to roll across the floor, causing them both to start.

Walter reached forward to retrieve it, and she flinched. He glanced up at her, his smile suddenly gone.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

She wanted to agree with him, to say they were both wrong, but the words didn't leave her lips. Was it really so inappropriate? It wasn't as if she belonged to anyone. She'd likely never see Alex again, and there was a very good chance that she could be dead within a month. Why not take what he offered while she could?

Still, as he grabbed the carton and stood, she didn't stop him. She felt awkward enough as it was.

"I should go to bed. I think I've had enough wine and indulgence for one night."

She nodded silently.

"Did you want me to leave this here for you?" he asked, holding up the carton.

Pushing her own lid back into place, she handed him her carton as well. "No, I'm not hungry anymore."

He turned to go, but paused with his back to her. "Nothing happened, Sabryn. And I won't mention it again if you don't want me to."

Sinking down against the cushions, she squeezed her eyes shut. "Thank you."

She didn't hear him walk away or return to go to his bedroom, but several long minutes later, when she was able to open her eyes without cringing, she was alone. The generator no longer powered the lights, and only the soft glow of the fire remained.

On shaky legs, she made her way to the ladder and climbed up to her bed. Slipping between ice cold sheets, watching her niece sleep undisturbed.

Once exhausted and dead on her feet, Sabryn could only stare up at the ceiling with alert eyes...touching her fingertips to her quivering lips.

Part Five: Blue Christmas

Summary: What happens when you get everything you want for Christmas?

For my mother, my biggest fan, who brings me ham and cheese sandwiches so I don't have to stop writing. I love you, Mom!

Savor and taste each moment in life--for it soon shall be a memory.
--Shana Wiersum

With her feet covered in two pairs of thick socks, Sabryn sat on the couch trying to look cheerful as she threaded more popcorn on her string. Standing a mere five feet tall, their Christmas tree wasn't nearly as grand as what she was used to, but it served its purpose--both her niece and nephew were grinning more than they had all year. The tree was completely decorated in ribbons and bows, lit by tiny white battery-powered lights. Yet instead of the glorious angel that normally topped the Pruitt Christmas tree, there was only a hastily made star. Made by the kids' own hands, it was still special--but it only served to remind her just how unusual the day would be.

After three days in their new "home," Christmas Eve had finally arrived. Busily preparing for the coming days, she hadn't even noticed the date until it was already upon them. Keeping their tasks secret from the children was a chore on its own...but making the holiday special for them was wearing her sanity thin. The wood shed housed weapons recently purchased from the gun shop. Fire extinguishers were ready for use, and all of the guns had been loaded. The shed's door was locked for safety, but the threat was never far from her mind. She'd even been practicing her shot with Walter and John, far from the house, under the pretense of possibly going hunting later in the season. What they'd be hunting, even she didn't want to know about.

She glanced up at Walter as he walked in the door, carrying an armload of fire wood. Droplets of melted snow glistened on his coat, like tiny stars. He met her gaze and barely smiled. Ever since that night, that kiss, things hadn't been the same. There was an underlying tension whenever they shared the same space. She knew he wasn't angry at her, but he barely spoke to her all the same.

Poking her needle through another kernel of popcorn, she paused to slap her brother's hand as he tried to steal some of the decoration from the bowl.

"Ow. Jeez, you could share."

"Why don't you go find something productive to do if you're so bored?"

"Who says I'm bored?"

"You haven't sat still all day."

"I just don't get why we're all sitting in here staring at each other when there's two feet of snow out there to play in."

"Yeah, Dad," Jolie piped in, "can we go outside?"

"I don't see why not."

"Because it's freezing out there," Caroline called out from the kitchen, where she was busy making spiced cider.

"It's not freezing if you're moving."

Sabryn shook her head. "Johnny, we already built a snowman. What more do you want? I'm not helping you build some ridiculous fort so you can pummel me with snowballs like you did as a kid."

He had the gall to look shocked, making his kids giggle. "I did no such thing."

She rolled her eyes, before glancing at Walter. "Not only did he do that, but he used to melt them with his hands and turn them into ice so they were super hard when they struck. I'm lucky he didn't knock me unconscious."

For once, Walter actually grinned and shook his head at her. "I'm sure you got plenty of sympathy from your parents."

When no one answered him, his smile faltered.

Before he could say anything more, Johnny quickly changed the subject. "How about a game of football, with that Nerf ball you got at the store?"

Sabryn glanced around the room. "Doesn't seem quite fair to me."

"Why not? You know Carly won't play, and Chris is too young...so that leaves you, me, Jolie, and Walter. Sounds pretty fair."

"No, it doesn't! Jolie can actually play, unlike me."

John grinned. "That's why she's on my team."

"Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God..."

Shivering, her hands raised, squinting as the pink and yellow football sailed through the air, Sabryn prayed she'd actually catch it this time. The score was still zero to zero, but they'd been at this for hours it seemed and dinner would be ready soon enough. Still, she hadn't had so much fun in weeks.

She caught a glimpse of John rushing towards her, kicking up snow in his wake, just as the ball neared.

"Jump!" Walter shouted.

Shrieking, she launched herself into the air and felt the ball slide through her fingertips. She seized it tight before it could slip away. And when her feet hit the ground, she was still holding the ball.

"Oh shit!"

John was bearing down on her, with Jolie in fast pursuit, and she could barely feel her legs to run.

Shitshitshitshitshit! She spun around and took off towards the marked goal line, running as fast as she could through knee-deep snow. It was like running under water. John was barely three steps behind her, her niece was giggling breathlessly, and Walter was shouting enthusiastically for her to keep running. And just as she thought she was actually going to make it, she was hit from behind and thrown into the blanket of unblemished snow.

Sputtering, her face numb from the cold, she couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled out as John got to his feet. She was covered head to toe in snow, and some had even gone up her nose, but she didn't care. For once, all week, she wasn't terrified of the days ahead. She didn't give a damn about anything but getting that touchdown.

Grinning, Walter extended his hand to pull her to her feet. "Nice run. I think that was about thirty yards."

Blowing hot air on her fingernails, she polished them against her coat and coaxed a laugh out of him. "All in a day's work, Walter, my dear."

He didn't look away. He didn't even blink. The smile on his face didn't waver. And she suddenly shivered. Breaking the stare before he did, she walked back to where Jolie and her brother were standing and got ready for the next play. Praying that Walter wasn't staring at her ass as she hiked him the ball.

Caroline called out that dinner was ready just as Sabryn began to run for Walter's pass. He threw hard, the ball spiraling through the air, and she ran, only to have the pass fall incomplete. Two more plays later, she was getting discouraged. John stuck his tongue out at her as she bent to hike the ball and she glared at him. Tossing the ball back between her legs, she took off running. Dodging past her niece, intent on getting the points. She glanced over her shoulder to see John ram into Walter just as he tossed the ball. It wobbled through the air, off-kilter, and she darted to the left to get in its path. Jolie grabbed at her coat, trying to yank her down as the ball rippled towards her fingers. She squeezed hard, barely grasping the foam ball by the tip, and started to fall. Reaching, stretching her body, slamming into the snow just inches past the marked end zone.

"No way!" John moaned, making his wife and son shout with laughter.

Jolie climbed to her feet but Sabryn could only lay there, staring at the ground in amazement. She'd passed the line of pine branches. She'd actually scored. And she couldn't let go of the ball to save her life.

Chuckling, Walter bent over her and met her gaze. "I think we won."

She nodded, eyes still wide with shock.

"You can let go of the ball now."

Loosening her grip one finger at a time, she let the ball drop as he pulled her to her feet. He held his hand up, as he had on some of the previous successful passes, and she gave him a weak high-five. Bending over to catch her breath, she felt the icy air ripping at her lungs.

"Looks like they're ready for dinner. You coming in?"

"Yeah," she said, breathlessly. "In a minute."

He didn't make a move towards the door. Picking up the ball, he squeezed it between his hands for moment in silence.

"Look, about the other night--I know I said I wouldn't mention it, but--"

"You don't have to apologize."

"I wasn't going to."

She stood up straight and stared at him.

"I just wanted you to know that I wasn't sorry it happened. Only I should have waited, until I knew for sure what you were thinking."

She let out a humorless laugh. "You would have been waiting forever. Even I'm not sure what I was thinking."

"Are you regretting it? I mean--I am old enough to be your father."

"It wouldn't have mattered if you were eighty...although it probably wouldn't have been as pleasant."

He smirked slightly. "Then what's the problem?"

"I--I told you Alex and I are just friends. But that's not entirely true. Well, it is, but--I guess I have feelings for him."

"You love him?"

She wasn't imagining the disbelief and frustration in his voice.

"I told Johnny I did, but that was mainly to hurt him for what he did to me. The truth is, I don't know what I'm feeling. This whole--" She waved her hand between them. "This whole man and woman 'relationship' thing is completely foreign to me. The only man I've ever truly loved is my brother, and that's hardly the same thing."

"But there's a chance that you love Krycek."

She sucked in a deep breath. "I guess so. But there's also a chance that I was lonely and latched on to the first man to come along."

"So...what you're saying is that I should back off and give you some time."

"Time, yes. But I'm not asking you to back off. I like having you as my friend, Walter."

He watched her for a moment, silent, before offering her his arm to lead her back to the cabin. "I imagine they're probably wondering what we're doing out here."

She had to grin. "Knowing the way my brother feels about Alex, I'm sure he'd let us stay out here all night."

He was just about to reach for the door when she stopped him.

"Do you really think he'll come here?"

"Krycek? I don't know. But there's a good chance."

"I hate what he did to you, Walter. And I don't think I'll ever understand it."

"I think it's pointless to try."

She could feel her lip quivering. Before she could rationalize the impulse away, she stepped up onto the stair before him and cupped his face in her hands. Meeting his warm gaze for a second before touching her lips to his. With no hesitation. No regret. Melting her mouth against his like warm syrup.

He didn't move, didn't dare touch her for the longest time...surely expecting her to dart away like a nervous doe. But when his hands came up to grasp her waist, she did just the opposite. And when she felt his tongue against her lips, she didn't pause for a moment before blossoming to his touch. A brief but intimate taste of his mouth, swirling her tongue against his, before he pulled away and licked his lips.

Scratching the back of his neck, he smiled almost shyly. "I think we should go inside before someone comes looking for us."

She nodded, fighting the blush in her cheeks, allowing him to open the door for her. It was a big enough step for now, and she didn't need to linger.

Still, she couldn't help but wonder if it had been a promise of things to come, or a selfish rebellion against the first man to make her heart race in such a way.

Oddly, she woke to Christmas morning with the same enthusiasm she'd had as a child. Dressing as fast as she could, too excited to bother with heating the buckets of water she'd need for a bath, Sabryn climbed down the ladder just in time to see Jolie and Chris dragging out every package with their name on it. She grinned and flopped down on the couch, opening the candy cane she'd snagged as she passed the tree.

Grumbling, John and Carly staggered out of the bedroom still in their pajamas, groaning as they looked at the clock on the mantle. Sabryn had to laugh. Six in the morning. That was an hour more sleep than they'd gotten at this time last year.

"Merry Christmas!" she said, cheerfully, earning two sour frowns.

"Mmmph."

"Merry Christmas," came a voice from the door.

Sabryn turned to see Walter already dressed, heading into the house with an armload full of presents.

"Where have you been? Don't tell me you found a store open on Christmas?"

"No. These have been in my hiding place. You didn't think I'd keep them in the house, did you?"

"I didn't expect you to get us anything at all," she said, softly.

Handing her the small package at the top of the stack, he smiled. Something she was becoming gladly accustomed to from his face. "Now what fun would Christmas be without presents?"

Passing out the rest of his stack, he sat down next to her and met her amazed stare.

"You barely knew any of us a week ago."

"What can I say? I'm a nice guy."

"I guess so."

Jolie started passing out presents, directing Chris to do the same by reading the names for him. When the little boy padded over to Walter and handed him a wrapped box, the Assistant Director looked shocked. He read the tag on the package and raised his eyebrow at Sabryn.

"What fun would Christmas be without presents?"

"When did you have time to do this? You'd already bought all of your presents before we left Virginia."

"Not all of them. I did a little shopping while you were--" she lowered her voice to keep the kids from hearing, "while you were in the gun shop."

"I see."

"Unfortunately, I didn't have much money left, so I hope you're not too disappointed."

"It's perfect."

"You haven't opened it."

"I don't have to. I already know it's perfect."

Sabryn glanced at her brother and sister-in-law, to see them watching her and Walter. Suddenly, she could feel everything from her neck up turning red. She felt like dragging that smug grin off Johnny's face.

Drawing the attention away, Caroline asked, "Who's going to start?"

"The kids. They have more presents to open."

It started off innocently enough, but before long everyone was tearing open their packages with characteristic holiday frenzy. Wrapping paper littered the floor, thanks echoed in the open space, and laughter was abundant. If not for the change in location, it would have been just like any other Christmas.

But it wasn't.

She felt a bit of sadness as she opened her family's gift and saw the complete cedar case of acrylic paints and brushes, colored charcoal and pastels, with an accompanying sketch book. Glancing up at John and Carly, she blinked away the moisture in her eyes.

"Thank you, so much."

"You're welcome, Bryn."

Clearing her throat, she stood up hastily and headed for the kitchen, calling over her shoulder that she was getting some cider if anyone wanted some.

Yet the minute she was out of sight and ear shot, she sagged against the wall and squeezed her eyes shut. Damn it. Her chin wobbled with the effort it took to hold back the sobs. Even with the indifference they'd dealt her in past, she missed her parents desperately. Missed the sacred beauty of Christmases past, when the only worry had been whether there was enough eggnog to go around. Wiping away the only hot tear to escape, she started at the sound of Walter's voice so close to her.

"You forgot to open this."

Her happy expression back in place, she met his gaze and sniffled. "Silly me."

Taking the box from him, she started to rip the paper off.

"You know, you don't have to be happy all the time. They're going to find out what's going on sooner or later."

"No. I want this day to be special for the kids. They deserve that much."

He tilted her chin up. "And what do you deserve?"

"This," she said, holding up the box.

"So open it."

She pulled off the last bit of paper to reveal a cellophane-wrapped cassette tape. Turning it over to the front, she read the title.

"Learn To Sing Like A Pro: In Five Easy Lessons." Looking up at his wide grin, she smacked his shoulder and started giggling. "You're evil!"

"But I made you laugh."

"Yeah."

Walking over to the cabinet next to the oven, he opened it and reached into the far back. Past all of the cast iron cookware. Pulling out a long yellow box.

"This is your real present."

"Chocolates! You're a genius. Thank you."

"You're welcome. And thank you for the gloves."

She wrinkled her nose. "They aren't too dorky, I hope?"

"Dorky? No." He pulled one of the black Gore-Tex gloves on to demonstrate. "They're very warm, and not too puffy. Just the right size to pull a trigger on a gun."

"That isn't quite what I had in mind when I bought them, but I'm glad they're useful."

Nodding, he gestured to the door. "What do you say we go back out there and watch the kids open their presents. I want to see their faces when they open mine."

"That sounds suspicious."

"Oh, come on, they'll love it."

Exhausted after hours of trudging up and down a hill, pulling the sled Walter had bought the kids for Christmas, Sabryn still couldn't manage to fall asleep that night.

She lay there staring at the wooden beams of the ceiling, a soft little smile on her face. She could still hear her niece's shriek of excitement when they'd open that last huge box. The kids had immediately rushed over to hug and thank their 'Uncle Walter'...a nickname that she'd noticed her brother did nothing to discourage. And despite her obvious dismay, Walter seemed to like the name so it stuck.

They'd taken turns sliding down the hill at the back of the property, careening around corners on one runner, managing to stay upright by luck alone. Her sides hurt from laughing and climbing the snow-layered hill. Even Caroline, who was deathly afraid of any ride that didn't have seat belts, had taken her turn on the sled. But it wasn't until the end of the evening, when Walter challenged Sabryn to make one more trip up the hill, riding down on the sled in front of him, that she'd truly gotten nervous. Together they barely fit on the small wooden sled, and she'd expected it to collapse at any moment...but the intimacy and warmth of sitting between his legs was what had really done her in. Clutching his thigh every time they rounded a corner, leaning back against his chest down the steepest slope, feeling his legs tighten around her with the excuse of maintaining his balance. She hadn't been able to breathe the entire ride.

Restless in her bed, with Jolie sleeping soundly next to her, Sabryn stared at the ladder to the living room. Watching the fire light flicker shadows over the rungs, seducing her like a beckoning finger to come closer. She hadn't kissed him again since Christmas Eve. Somehow, it didn't seem appropriate with her family so close. Still, she'd been tempted. More than once.

Ready to close her eyes and resist the urge to scurry down the ladder for one last kiss, her attention was suddenly seized by the sweep of lights outside a window below. Her heart skipped a beat. Silently wondering if the aliens had chosen to come early. Scared it might be armed military forces coming to escort them to an organized meeting place.

Most of all, she feared exactly what, in her heart, she knew to be true.

Alex had arrived.

Part Six: I'm Not In Love

Summary: I hate summaries...I'll think of something clever next time.

For every single one of you who voted for Midnight Angel in the Spooky Awards. You have my unending gratitude. Thank you.

"With lies you may get ahead in the world--but you can never go back."
--Russian proverb

A frigid gust of air wrapped around her bare ankles like shackles as she opened the door. Clutching the blanket she'd grasped from the couch tight about her shoulders, she stepped across the threshold onto the icy boards of the porch. Snow flakes melted under her feet, as she closed the door behind her and tip-toed towards the stairs. A sliver of light was all she had to see by, as the moon played hide and seek behind the clouds. But it was plenty bright enough to see the old car rumble to a stop just past the cabin before cutting it's engine.

Her heart was pounding. And as the door opened, she silently hoped he would mistake her trembling for shivers.

He stepped out and got to his feet, his back to her, looking far taller than she remembered. Wearing a heavy wool coat instead of his usual leather jacket, he reached into the back seat for something before straightening once more. When he closed the door and turned, freezing in place as he spotted her, her breath caught. He looked so...good. It seemed like an eternity before he bothered to move.

Crossing the space between them, snow crunching under his boots, he held her stare. Before he could reach where she stood, she found her voice at last.

"I think you forgot something."

He glanced back to see a chubby orange cat digging frantically at the window, meowing so loud it could be heard from where they stood.

"Shit." He stalked back to the car and opened the door--yet when the cat jumped down and its paws landed in the icy snow, it yowled even louder. Grumbling obscenities, Alex bent to pick up the cat, closed the door, and headed back to where she stood. His eyes dared her to say a word. "Damned cat's a pain in the ass."

Judging by the way the animal was suddenly purring and rubbing against his coat, the feeling wasn't mutual.

"You shouldn't be here, Alex."

He hesitated only briefly, in mid-stride. "Hello to you, too."

"Walter knows you escaped. There's no telling what he'll do when he finds you here."

"Walter?" The corner of his mouth lifted. "I think I can handle Skinner."

He stepped up the stairs two at a time, stopping just inches from her, as she said, "How? You don't have your Palm Pilot anymore."

He stared down at her, his eyes cold in the darkness. "So much for them not turning you against me."

She looked away, her throat constricting. "You will always be my friend, Alex. But you don't belong here. Not now."

He leaned closer, lowering his voice to a whisper. "I brought you here, Sabryn. You're lucky I bothered to save your ass."

She swallowed heavily, inhaling the familiar scent of him, her fingers twitching as she fisted them in the blanket. "Why did you?"

"Because I told you I'd make sure your family was safe."

"I can't help but wonder why a man who lies, tortures, and kills would give a damn about one broken promise."

His jaw visibly clenched as he slowly set the cat down on the porch. Even then, it continued to brush against him like a favorite toy. Sabryn frowned slightly as the cat's purring reached her ears.

"Exactly what lies has Skinner been filling your head with?"

"Are they lies?"

"You tell me. What did he say?"

"That you're suspected of killing your former partner's father, just months after betraying Mulder yourself."

"Bill Mulder deserved to die."

She gasped. She didn't know what was more shocking, his admission, or his total lack of remorse.

Leaning his right hand against wooden support at her back, he bent towards her, intentionally invading her personal space. The heat emanating from his body lured her like a drug.

"You want to know what kind of man he was? How he sacrificed one of his children to the devil while taking out his guilt and anger on the other, like a punching bag? How he was personally responsible for the abductions of thousands of children," he paused, "much like yourself...for the experimentation of alien genetics? You were lucky, Sabryn. You were returned, alive. Most of those kids suffered slow and painful deaths at his 'mercy.'"

She sucked in a shuddering breath, staring at his neck, unable to stand the piercing glare of his eyes.

"What about Agent Scully's sister?"

"Her death was an accident, and I wasn't the one to pull the trigger. I don't kill women."

"But you didn't stop it, either, did you?"

"I had a job to do, and I wasn't about to blow my damned cover just when I was earning their trust. But it didn't matter, did it? I was nearly blown to hell anyway."

"Why would they want you dead if you did your job?"

"To destroy evidence. I had the encrypted tape they wanted, and I would have taken the blame for Melissa Scully's murder...my death would have put a halt to any further FBI investigation."

She glanced up a bit, to his lips this time, noticing how close he was. And damn it, she wanted him to kiss her. Despite every instinct that told her it was wrong. Even with all she knew about him, she wanted him still. The only thing more pathetic was that she'd been thinking about another man only minutes before.

"You were locked in a missile silo near here, as punishment for selling government secrets to foreign countries?"

He didn't move a muscle other than bobbing of his Adam's apple as he swallowed. "Yes."

"And you must have wanted revenge after that."

"I was buried alive. What do you think?"

Some little impulse of compassion made her lift her hand toward his face, only to flinch when he seized her wrist.

"You think you know me, Sabryn? You think you know all my dirty little secrets after a few minutes of Skinner's lectures?" He leaned so close his lips brushed her ear as he spoke. "You don't know shit."

Her eyelids drifted closed at the touch of his body against hers. Christ, even the mere proximity of him made her mouth water. She could feel her nipples hardening even more as they brushed against his chest.

"How long was it before Reginald brought you here?"

He backed away, taking a step towards the door. "I'm through talking about this."

"What about Skinner, and the Russian boy? How do you explain that?"

He turned on her so fast she stumbled over her own feet and slammed her back into the column.

"How do I explain that? It was fun. I got off on torturing them. It was a kick. It made me hard, Sabryn, is that what you want to hear?"

"You aren't scaring me."

"Oh, I think I am." His face inches from hers, harsh breath against her face, he sneered at her. "Do you know what it feels like to hold someone's life in your hands? To know that with a flick of your wrist you could end it all?"

She swallowed heavily. "Why the boy?"

"He was my proof. My bargaining chip. I would have given him the vaccine to prove it worked. He would have survived. Instead, he was stolen from me and barbecued."

"He was beaten and disfigured, in your care."

"It was necessary."

"For what?"

"I don't expect you to understand--"

"Then explain it to me!"

He obviously wasn't expecting her anger. Was he really so distant from his own emotions that he couldn't feel compassion for another human being?

"Sacrifices are made for the greater good of the people."

"What makes you any different from Bill Mulder? Abducting and torturing children, experimenting upon them--what makes you so special?"

"He worked for a bunch of back-stabbing traitors--"

"So do you."

"I don't work for anyone but myself!"

She didn't back down even in the face of his sudden rage. Standing toe to toe with him, she matched his glare with every ounce of fury. He was an assassin and a torturer, yes...but deep down she knew he wouldn't hurt her. No matter what she said.

"What about Walter Skinner? He's an Assistant Director of the FBI."

"He's an ass-kissing bastard is what he is."

She raised her hand to slap him only to be pinned to the wall by his weight, the air leaving her lungs in a brutal gust. Gasping, she tried in vain to push him away as he angrily restrained her.

"Walter Skinner got his title by bending over for the very same men responsible for your abduction. But unlike Bill Mulder, he didn't go in willingly. He continued to play the game because he didn't have the balls to back out. He straddled that fucking fence for too long--what I did to him demanded he prove where his loyalties lie."

"You self-righteous, arrogant asshole!"

Gripping her chin, he stared into her eyes. "What did he do to you?"

"What?"

"What did he do to turn you against me? I sure as hell know it took more than a couple of stories."

"Let go of me."

"Did he fuck you?"

"Go to hell!"

"If he ever touches you again, I'll--"

"You'll what? You'll kill him?"

"You're mine, God damn it!"

She could only stare at him in disbelief. From the near blackness of his eyes to the scowl lines between his eyebrows. His jaw was ticking, his nostrils were flaring, and she could feel his erection against her stomach. She was torn between the urge to strangle him and to wrap her thighs around his waist and hold on tight.

Gritting her teeth, she said, "I belong to no one."

"Wanna bet?"

His mouth was on hers before she could even protest. Insistent and demanding, forcing his way inside. She could have bit, scratched and punched at him...only she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him even closer. Felt him sucking at her lips, met his tongue to taste the warm sweetness of his mouth. And when she felt him lift her, bracing her between him and the wooden pillar, she enfolded him with her legs and pressed herself even harder against the bulge growing in his pants.

He jostled her slightly, getting a better grip with his good hand, never releasing her mouth, before pulling back from the pillar and carrying her towards the cabin.

She had to be insane. A little over twenty-four hours earlier, she'd been kissing another man...and here she was, wrapped around a wanted felon like a clinging tendril.

He broke away from the kiss as he opened the door, and she could see the cat brush past his legs and scurry into the warmth of the cabin. Alex shut the door behind them, glancing at the nearest bedroom.

"You better tell me if anyone's in there, or they're about to get an eyeful."

She barely managed to speak. "It's empty."

Pushing the door open, he stepped inside and closed them in almost total darkness. She could feel him moving across the room seconds before his legs hit the bed and she started falling. The moment his weight landed on top of her, his mouth was on her again. Licking, sucking, devouring. He bit his way down her neck, brushing his body against her, settling himself between her legs.

Oh God, she was an idiot. She knew they shouldn't be doing this, and she weakly tried to push him away, but even she knew the protest wasn't real.

"I hate you."

She could hear him laugh. "Yeah, sure you do."

He dragged aside the blanket she'd wrapped around her, his hands sliding over the long night-shirt underneath. And despite the urge to say no, when he ran his hands down her sides to yank desperately at the hem of her shirt, she didn't even move.

"Alex, please..."

He exhaled heavily, his hands stilling, his forehead dropping to rest against her shoulder. She could feel his chest dragging against hers with the rapid rise and fall of his breathing.

"What did he do to you?"

His voice was barely audible. Staring at his dark outline, she tried to focus. "He kissed me." She could feel the tremor that ran through him, and she hesitated before saying, "And I kissed him back."

He lifted his head from her shoulder. Staring at her through the gloom, before pushing away in obvious disgust. Sabryn grabbed on to his coat before he could pull away altogether.

"Alex, he was nice to me. He--he was protecting me, and taking care of me, and that wasn't something I was used to."

"So it was gratitude? What the hell would you have done if he'd saved your life, given him a blow job?"

"That's not fair."

"The hell it isn't!"

Tugging hard on his coat lapels, she pulled him even closer. "After everything you've done, if I can forgive you for that, I think you can forgive me for this."

His breath rasped across her face. "Do you want him?"

Her hesitation made him curse under his breath. "You don't understand, it wasn't like that."

"Oh, I understand...Daddy didn't take care of you, so you decided to find someone who would."

The comment was like a slap in the face.

"You don't know a thing about my family."

"Don't I? The little girl in the picture, her hand nestled in her father's grip, then years later he's suspiciously absent from her life and she clings to her older brother like a life preserver?"

"My brother loved me when no one else did. He lost everything because of me."

"Why?"

She pressed her hand against his chest and closed her eyes, wanting to feel his presence but unable to hold his gaze. "When Johnny was in high school, he joined the football team and became one of their most valuable players. He was popular, and his best friend, Mark Trinity, was one of the most handsome boys I'd ever laid eyes on. I'd had a crush on him for years, and when he started hanging around at our house, I was overjoyed.

"Mark would tease me and joke around, but he was always very nice to me. He even included me in their stupid little adventures when Johnny didn't want me tagging along. And one day Mark called on the phone and asked me to go to the movies with him, but I thought he was kidding. I had no idea why a guy like him would want to be seen with a girl like me."

Sabryn drew in a shuddering breath, thankful for his silence. It was hard enough to remember that time in her life without having to answer questions.

"But Johnny told me that Mark talked about me all the time when I wasn't around. And my brother seemed genuinely excited about his friend wanting to go out with me. So I said yes. I was so nervous getting ready. My mom was even uncharacteristically happy and helped me curl my hair. But it didn't matter what I looked like because I was a total mess a few minutes after arriving in the theater. He began kissing me, running his fingers through my hair, unbuttoning my shirt and squeezing my breasts."

She could feel the tension in Alex's body, could almost feel his gaze boring into her as she continued.

"I was so excited to be on a date with a boy that I didn't bother to stop him. It didn't go any further, that night anyway. There were other days when he'd come to visit my brother, but he'd end up kissing and petting me on my bed."

"Where were your parents?" he asked, his voice lower than usual.

"They knew what was happening, for the most part. They knew I could take care of myself. I was fifteen, and I'd been responsible for my own actions for quite some time."

She thought she heard him mutter something, but didn't catch what he said.

"Every day, Mark pushed me to go just a little bit farther. And I liked him, but I barely knew him other than when he was touching me. We never talked. And one day, when he was shoving his hand down my pants, I told him to stop. I thought we should wait, at least until I was sixteen in a couple of months, but he didn't see it that way. He got angry and tried to force me, but I fought back and broke his nose. He left and when Johnny came home from his own date, he came in to check on me. He saw how upset I was and made me tell him what happened. He got so mad that I was afraid he might grab one of Daddy's guns and do something stupid. I made him stay with me, and promise me he'd leave Mark alone.

"John made the promise, but broke it the next day at school."

"What did he do?"

"Johnny said Mark told him that morning the only reason he'd dated me was because I had big tits for a sophomore and he wanted to fuck me. He never would have been caught dead with the town freak otherwise. Johnny was suspended from school for fighting. He broke the star quarterback's jaw. Mark had to have oral surgery and I never saw him again."

"Good. The bastard should have had his ass kicked several times over."

She opened her eyes to stare at him. "John could have been a real football player...but he was kicked off the team because of me. And that only made my parents despise me all the more.

"Every boy that ever showed interest in me only wanted one thing. Maybe that's why I kissed Walter...because he didn't seem to want anything more than I was willing to give."

"You think I'm like Mark Trinity?"

"No, you're not a rapist...as far as I know."

His eyes narrowed. "No, I'm not...but you think all I want from you is a good fuck."

"Isn't it? That's what you've told me before, Alex. Several times."

"Yeah, well you should know by now I'm a liar."

"What do you want from me?"

"Everything."

She reached up to touch his face, brushing her thumb against his lower lip. "I don't understand you."

"You don't have to, Sabryn. I want you, all of you. You're mine. Whether you accept it or not."

"Cocky, aren't you?"

He gave her a real smile for the first time all night. "It's called confident."

"Yeah."

The rush of unearthly pleasure that suffused her veins made her feel like she was floating. Whether or not he was lying now, she didn't know. But she wanted to believe. More than anything. With only a few more days left before the New Year, she had to hold on to hope while she could.

Pulling his coat off his shoulders, she dropped it to the floor before starting to unbutton his shirt. Dropping kisses over each new inch of skin she exposed. Tugging his shirt free from his jeans and stripping it from his arms, one at a time, taking care not to get his cuff caught on his prosthesis.

"I guess this means you're taking over?"

"You said you wanted everything...so come and get it."

Part Seven: Only You

Summary: How can a man who trades in lies expect to be believed to tell the truth?

For Tara Avery and Sister Moon, two of my favorite authors...who don't write nearly often enough. Yep, that's a hint girls!

Also, the lyrics to the song, "Trust" by the Cure (from the album entitled Wish, on Elektra Records) were used without permission. And no, I don't own "Hello Kitty" either. No copyright infringement intended in any case.

"There is no one left in the world, that I can hold on to
There is really no one left all...there is only you
And if you leave me now, you leave all that we were undone
There is really no one left...you are the only one
It's still the hardest part for you, to put your trust in me
I love you more than I can say...why won't you just believe?"
--Trust by The Cure.

She smelled like a million different memories.

The sweet scent of shampoo, from the first time they'd met. The slightest tang of sweat, from when she'd awakened from a nightmare to his touch. The musky hint of arousal, from every time he'd drowned himself in the damp embrace of her body. Each note of fragrance unique, a perfume all her own. So familiar he could smell it in his dreams. So rich and haunting, it impregnated his senses.

She sat before him on the bed, her head bent forward in a tangled mess of bittersweet curls, her chilled fingers working loose the button on his jeans. He could feel every hair on his body standing at attention. Her fingernails scraped against his flesh, causing the over-sensitized skin of his belly to flinch. She glanced up at him, her silvery eyes sparkling.

"Ticklish?"

He didn't answer. He could only stare at her moist lips, running his thumb over them in amazement. She had the mouth of a woman kissed a million times, lips still swollen and red from the last attack. The pout of a spoiled little girl, with the devilish smirk of a tease. He bent over her, bracing his hand on the bed beside her, and claimed those lips. Staking his territory. Dragging the softness into his mouth and savoring every texture. And when he pushed her back onto the bed with his weight, those lips smiled under his.

"Can't you wait?" she whispered, brushing against his mouth.

"Not this time." His voice sounded harsh, even to his own ears. "Need you now."

Her hand squeezed between them to tug at his zipper as he ravaged her lips, making them more puffy than they already were. He shifted his weight, accommodating her as she began shoving tight denim off his hips. Her hands slid over his ass, molding to every surface, covering, embracing. Holding tight as his hips began to shift against her. She broke away from his lips, holding his gaze as the stiff bulge of his cotton-concealed cock nudged between her legs. She stared at him, eyes moving rapidly between his gaze, and she didn't have to say a word for him to know something had changed.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

He'd seen that look before, yet never from Sabryn. He couldn't shake the icy sensation in the pit of his gut.

"Are you afraid of me?"

She smiled, tried to laugh at the comment, but wasn't quite successful. "Why would I be?"

"I don't know. I'd never hurt you."

"I know that."

"So what's that look for?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Alex. I was waiting for you...I want you inside me."

"I might have made some irrational choices in my life, but there's no reason for you to be afraid of me."

"And I'm not." She was starting to sound impatient. "I vehemently hate some of the things you've done. That much is true. And I don't entirely understand the reasoning. But I can deal with that later. It's Christmas, and you're here...and I've missed you. I wasn't sure I was ever going to see you again, so I'd just like to be close to you."

He exhaled, breath he hadn't even known he was holding. "All right."

The hand she still had trapped under his hip slid down to lazily caress his balls through the fabric of his boxer briefs. He groaned, closing his eyes at the contact, using the subtle slide of his body to direct her movements. By the time she'd stopped stroking his cock and started shoving his shorts down his legs, he could barely breathe.

He could feel his erection spring free from the waist band just as he was yanking her night shirt out of the way. Without taking the time to prepare her, he shoved himself inside her and felt her fingernails dig into his lower back. He began thrusting immediately, too far gone to pause, barely hearing the soft panting in his ear. She lifted her legs, wrapped them around his waist, her knees bent high, allowing him to plunge even deeper. Hands on his jaw, she kissed him...her pleading moans reverberating against his lips. It felt like mere seconds before he began to convulsively empty himself inside her. Shaking from head to toe, he let out a harsh groan as he felt her pull him even tighter into her embrace.

He settled his weight on top of her, his face buried against her neck, his ragged breathing stirring her sweat-damp hair.

"I'm sorry."

"It's OK. Felt good."

"How could it? I slammed into you and was finished in three minutes."

He could feel her cheek bunch as she smiled. "It wouldn't have mattered if you'd finished in three seconds." Her hands slid down his back, smoothing over sweaty skin, fingers sliding under the harness for his prosthesis to soothe friction-rubbed flesh. "This is my favorite part. Just lying here."

"I will never understand women."

She giggled softly. "Good. That's the idea."

He reared back on his elbow to stare at her. "When was the last time you had your period?"

"Don't worry about it, Romeo. I started having cramps yesterday."

He'd never said he was worried, exactly. Curious, maybe. Settling back down on her chest, he kissed her neck. "Just so long as you don't turn into a PMS nightmare."

Gasping, she slapped him hard on the ass.

"Ow! Ooh, do that again."

"No, you jerk."

He grinned, feeling the slight fluctuations of her inner muscles at the comment. She made a slight sound of disappointment as he slid out of her, but quickly changed her tune when he dipped down to bury his face between her breasts. Licking at her flesh, nibbling, sucking at her nipples. She arched her back, practically purring in ecstasy.

Wait a minute--

He glanced behind him to see Cheeser sitting by the door, purring contentedly as she watched his every move.

"God damn it!"

"What--" Sabryn lifted herself onto her elbow. "Aww. Here, kitty kitty."

"Don't call her over here!"

Too late. The cat hopped up onto the bed and started rubbing herself against them, purring louder than an engine.

"Fuck."

"Alex, how can you be so mean? She's sweet."

He looked at the cat's smug expression as Sabryn scratched it behind the ears. "She's a pain in the ass is what she is. She never leaves me alone."

"Then why did you bring her?"

"My landlady forced me to."

"Forced Alex Krycek?" She smirked. "That'll be the day."

He grunted in disgust. "I can't do this with that cat watching me."

"I hate to tell you this, but it looks like you already did."

He was reaching for the cat, to put her out, when Sabryn slapped his hand away.

"Leave her alone." She smiled at the cat as it curled up against the pillows and closed its eyes. "I've always loved animals. They love you when no one else does."

He stared at her for a moment, watching the slight sadness wash over her face before she looked back at him. She held his gaze for a long while before drifting in to a heartbreaking smile. She honestly didn't know, did she?

"Where were we before we were interrupted?"

"Right about here," he said, sliding down until his knees hit the floor.

He grasped her thigh and pulled it over his shoulder, kissing the soft skin inside, before burying his face between her legs. A few minutes later, she really was purring.

The bright red blush on Sabryn's face had nothing to do with the lazy circles Alex's fingers were making on the inside of her thigh. Her eyes glittering with laughter, she gazed back at the cat behind her and buried her face against the pillow.

Sometime before sunrise, he'd awakened to feel her curled up against his side, his harness removed, the cat lying on the pillow beside her, the sweat-dampened sheets tangled around their legs. After several sessions of vigorous lovemaking, they'd fallen asleep smiling...an unusual idea, in his mind. Before her, he'd never even actually 'slept' with a woman, let alone been happy about it. And when she'd opened her eyes and smirked at him, he almost hadn't been able to stop himself from taking her again. But out of courtesy for her sore muscles, he'd let the moment slip away for a while. Instead, he'd asked her to tell him more about how she'd grown up as a child. Even though he'd immediately regretted the topic, expecting depressing stories of solitude, she'd surprised him by discussing her more embarrassing moments in school.

Giggling slightly, she met his gaze. "In seventh grade health class, we had two weeks of sex education studies..."

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah. Well, we were each given an assignment, to give a report of a certain part of the reproductive system and describe it's function. We were supposed to illustrate the cover of the report and turn it in at the end of the two weeks...but, since I was absent when the assignment was actually given out, I didn't realize we were going to read the reports in front of the class."

Alex could feel the smile coming to his face, but tried to stifle it. She already looked red enough.

"I didn't really like the teacher and I thought the assignment was stupid, so I picked a topic and put my report together at the last minute. When I got to class and found out we were reading them out loud, I was mortified. Later, it came to my turn to read my report, and I tried to wiggle my way out of it, but I couldn't. So I had to go up there with my report, that had a big cartoon of a white cat's head on it..."

"Please tell me you didn't give a sex-ed report about a pussy."

She covered her face in her hands. "No, it's worse than that."

"What?"

She answered him, but the words were muffled behind her hands.

Pulling them away, he looked at her clenched eyelids and said, "I didn't hear that."

"I said, my report was called 'Hello, Clitty.'"

His sudden shout of laughter made her eyes fly open and she hurried to cover his mouth. The cat flinched on the pillow next to her. "Shhh! You'll wake everyone up."

His shoulders still shaking, Alex laughed, with genuine uncontrolled amusement, for the first time in longer than he could remember. When he was finally able to breathe, he pulled her hand away.

"What did this report say?"

"Well...I basically told them that the clitoris is for sexual pleasure for females...but that men don't know what it's for, as evidenced by my brother...who, when asked, didn't even know what one was."

He laughed again, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her on top of him. "I'm sure he'd be glad to know you told your entire class that much."

"Well, hopefully, for Caroline's sake, he's learned since then. But I don't want to ask."

"Probably a good idea. What did your teacher say?"

"I think he was offended. I got a F."

"He obviously didn't know what you were talking about."

Resting her chin on his chest, she stared up at him. "What about you? What was your most embarrassing moment?"

"Hmmm...probably when I tried to break into Missy Dawkins' bedroom one night after her dad grounded her. Only I got into the wrong room and damned near ended up fucking her little sister by mistake."

Sabryn gasped. "How old was she?"

"Fourteen...but she sure as hell felt older."

"You didn't know it wasn't Missy?"

"It was dark and she didn't say anything. I already had her pajamas off by the time I kissed her and realized she had braces."

"What did you do?"

"I got the hell out of there and hoped she didn't say anything to her parents or her sister."

"Did she?"

"No, but she did tell her sister I had nice hands."

Sabryn shook her head. "I bet she did." She licked her lips. "What were you like back then?"

"Stupid."

"I'm serious."

"So am I. Young, dumb, and full of cum. I had a particular weakness for blondes with no brains. As long as they'd shut up, I'd fuck them all night." When she didn't say anything, he added, "But don't worry. I've been medically tested hundreds of times since then, and I'm clean."

"So nice to know."

"Obviously, I've learned a few things since then."

"Such as?"

He pulled her up to meet his mouth, kissing her thoroughly before saying, "Smart brunettes who talk too much are a lot more fun."

She had only a second or two to glare at him before he positioned himself between her legs and thrust inside of her again. Still lying against his chest, she began to instinctively hump her hips against him, in contrasting rhythm with the short sharp thrusts of his cock inside her. He could feel her muscles squeezing him, milking the length of his erection.

"Oh, God, that feels so good," she whispered against his neck.

"Sit up, so I can touch you."

Drawing her knees forward, she sat back and rolled her hips, bracing herself on her hands behind her. Sliding him in and out in deep, short strokes. He used his right hand to guide her, watching the slick wet piston of his cock in her clutching hole. Fuck. She pulled at him with every recoil, nearly refusing to release the grip of her muscles.

Slipping his hand between them, he met her gaze as he rubbed his thumb around the folds of her sex, teasing but never quite touching the place she wanted him most. Her mouth dropped open, slack and moist, as she panted. He could feel her ass stroking against his balls, teasing the hair on his thighs, could feel her knees tightening against his torso and quivering with her exertions.

"I want you to cum hard for me, baby girl..."

Her only response to the new nickname was a low moan, eyes slipping closed, her hips writhing towards each upward thrust of his own. He grasped her waist and pulled her forward, coaxing her to lean over him, gesturing with his chin towards their groins.

"Watch."

She opened her eyes to stare down at the place where they met, biting her lip and whimpering at the slick drive of his cock inside her. He used his fingers to separate the lips of her sex, exposing the hard nub of flesh in between.

"Hell-o clitty."

She started to giggle, a second before he stroked the firm head of her clit and drove her hard into orgasm. Her laughter turned into stunned gasps, her body spasming, clutching, pulling him into rapture right behind her. Braced on her hands above him, she whimpered breathlessly, feeling him release the last of his ejaculation, staring at him in obvious wonder.

Sagging back on to his chest, she giggled again...and didn't stop until she nearly fell back to sleep. And he tried to convince himself that she was already drifting into unconsciousness...explaining the lack of reply when he finally told her he loved her.

Part Eight: Sacrifices

Summary: How do you choose between right and wrong, when you don't know which is which?

For Ursula, whose recipe for Krycek's Kisses makes my mouth water nearly as much as the real thing!

The morning pouring everywhere, its golden glory on the air.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

The touch of something cold, dribbling over her chest, woke her out of a sound sleep. She opened her eyes with a start, looking up at Alex as he leaned over her. It was past sunrise and pale light flooded the room, casting his skin in shades of muted bronze...causing the delicate strand dangling from his fingers to shine in glittering array.

"Merry Christmas. A little late."

His voice was husky with the lingering remains of sleep and she couldn't help but stare at the softness of his expression for a moment, before glancing down at the pendant lying on her chest.

"Oh, my God." She sat up abruptly, grasping the charm, nearly knocking her forehead into his. Hanging from a thin chain, the palette-shaped silver pendant was studded with seven 'paints'--diamond, ruby, yellow topaz, emerald, sapphire, amethyst, and onyx. The palette itself was barely more than an inch wide, but it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. "Alex, where did you get this?"

"I bought it. In Chicago. I had it in my coat last night."

"It's so pretty, but...I can't accept this."

"Yes, you can. It's yours."

"It's too expensive."

"I'm not exactly saving for my retirement, Sabryn. Put it on."

She opened her mouth to protest, but his expression silenced her. Grasping the ends of the necklace, she fastened it in place. It came to rest just above her cleavage.

"It's perfect. Thank you."

Leaning forward, she placed her hand on his cheek and gave him a lingering kiss...one that quickly turned more passionate than she'd expected. As he was about to push her back on to the pillows, she could hear the sound of footsteps outside the door. Breaking away from his lips, she met his gaze with wide eyes. They were both silent as the front door to the cabin opened and closed. Quickly gathering her night shirt off the floor, she yanked it over her head and thrust her arms through the sleeves.

"Where are you going?"

"If Johnny finds me in here, I'll never hear the end of it."

"You're going to have to deal with him sooner or later."

"And I'd rather it was later." Standing up, she pulled the shirt down all the way and shivered without the blankets to keep her warm. "Where is the cat?"

"I put her out before I woke you up. She was scratching at the door."

Shit. She could just imagine Johnny walking out the front door, and seeing not only a strange cat but also another car. She had to get out of here before he came back.

"I'm going to get dressed."

"Sabryn--"

She didn't stop to answer him before she hurried out the door and closed it behind her, scurrying across the living room to the ladder as fast as she could. Reaching for the first rung, she heard the front door open behind her and froze.

"Good morning," she heard Walter say. "Looks like we have a visitor."

She winced before turning around to see him carrying the cat. The animal took one look at her before jumping out of Walter's arms and racing across the floor to where she stood. She swallowed heavily, bending down to pick up the cat, meeting his gaze.

"She acts like she knows you. Have you seen her before?"

Sabryn nodded. "Last night."

"You should have brought her inside. It's freezing out there."

"Walter, I should explain--"

Before she could finish her sentence, Jolie's sleep-tousled head appeared over the edge of the loft floor. "A kitty! Can I pet her?"

Climbing a few rungs of the ladder, Sabryn passed the cat up to her niece. Behind her, she could hear a door opening and turned to see Caroline and Chris come out of the bedroom. Already dressed, they gave her the urge to tug her night shirt down over her bare legs.

"Good morning," Caroline said, looking at her strangely.

"'Morning."

"Did anyone start breakfast?"

"That's where I was headed," Walter answered.

"Where's John?" Sabryn asked.

"He got up early to--"

John walked in the front door, interrupting his wife's sentence. "Whose car is that, out there?"

"It's mine."

Sabryn's gaze flew to Alex, standing in the open bedroom door. He'd dressed himself, and was now standing there with his coat in his hand. John and Walter stared at him, seemingly stunned. She was suddenly reminded of a stand off from the Old West. And before she could say a word, Johnny lunged at him.

She jumped off the ladder, shouting her brother's name as Walter tried to hold him back. John looked ready to strangle Alex, had him gripped hard by his shirt and pinned to the wall. Strangely, Alex didn't move.

"John, let him go."

"What the fuck are you doing here, Krycek?"

"Fucking your sister."

Sabryn gasped as her brother's fist slammed into Alex's face. His whole head whipped to the side with the impact. Before he could do further damage, Walter grabbed John and restrained him. "That's enough!"

She could hear Caroline herding her son back into the bedroom and shutting the door behind him. Glancing back, she could see Jolie staring down at them in stunned silence.

"You've got one hell of a lot of nerve coming here," John said, through gritted teeth.

"I brought you here, John."

"My ass! We could have gone anywhere."

"But you came here, with the vaccine I gave you."

"Am I supposed to be grateful for that, Asshole? It's your fucking fault we're in this mess!"

"Would you rather die?"

"Rather than have you touch my sister? Hell, yes."

Sabryn squeezed her eyes shut, whispering, "Johnny, stop it."

"You're a fucking murderer, Krycek! A lying, unscrupulous bastard."

"John, stop it."

"You ought to have your ass fried in the electric chair so you can't lay your filthy hands on anyone again."

"I said stop it!" They stared at her, as her shout echoed in the open room. "Your children can hear you. And, so help me God, if you say another word I'll strangle you myself."

Her brother narrowed his eyes. "You've gone insane, haven't you? You listened to one too many of his lies and now you're willing to believe anything you hear." He shook his head as she stepped closer, glaring up at him. "Jesus, Bryn, is he really that good in bed?"

She'd never wanted to hit him more in her life, but the knowledge that Jolie was watching stopped her. Lowering her voice, she said, "Yes, John, he is."

John stared down at her in disgust, and Walter's expression made her look away in shame. She suddenly felt like a traitor. Johnny had done nothing but protect her since she was seven years old. She should have felt a certain amount of loyalty because of that. But she'd sided with the enemy instead.

*What if I'm wrong about Alex...*

She pushed the thought away, focusing on her sister-in-law's gaze. "He's saving our lives. I think that deserves some credit."

"You don't need to defend me, Sabryn," Alex said, behind her. "If he wants to punish me, let him. Maybe he'll feel better after beating someone to a bloody pulp. I know I always do."

"You son-of-a-bitch."

Sabryn turned around and glared at Alex. "You're not helping matters."

"It doesn't matter what you say to him. He's always going to believe the same thing about me. He doesn't want to see me any differently."

"And why should he, Krycek?" Walter asked. "Everything he's said about you is true. You're wanted on Federal charges...and that's only counting the stuff we can prove."

"I honestly don't see what difference that makes now," Caroline said. "There are only five days left...do you really think they can prosecute him in that amount of time? And even if they did, what's saying his sentence wouldn't be even more effectively carried out by the alien colonists? Is it enough to kill him, or do you want his death brutal, too?"

"Mommy?"

Caroline flinched, looking back at her daughter. The little girl sat there holding the cat on her shoulder, her face buried against its orange fur, her eyes wide with fear.

"Mommy, what's happening in five days?"

Sabryn swallowed heavily, staring at her brother. "You have to tell the kids."

His body no longer rigid in the grip of rage, Johnny shrugged off Walter's grip and glared at Alex as he passed him. Grabbing Carly's hand, he walked over to the ladder and reached for his daughter. Jolie slid down into his arms, and Sabryn watched them silently as they disappeared into the bedroom. She could feel tears gathering in her eyes. Those poor kids...their daddy had once told them there was no such thing as monsters. Now he had to tell them it was all a lie.

She closed her eyes and sucked in a shuddering breath, as she heard Alex say, "You haven't given them the vaccine yet?"

Walter's voice was rougher than she was used to. He was back to being the professional, and all traces of kindness--or any emotion, for that matter--were gone. "No. We were waiting until the kids knew the truth, after Christmas."

"We thought they should at least have a normal holiday," she added. "Since it's their last."

"You don't know that for sure. Where's the vial?"

"In the truck." Walter disappeared out the door before anyone else could say a word.

Meeting Alex's gaze, Sabryn touched her fingertips to her necklace. He started to reach for her when she turned and headed for the ladder.

"I'm going to get dressed."

She moved to the far back of the loft, pulling on her worn jeans with shaking hands. She couldn't forget the look on her brother's face, so hurt and disbelieving, when she'd stepped in front of Alex, clearly choosing his side. She felt sick to her stomach. Johnny had beaten up his best friend for her, had lost his chance at a scholarship and a better life...and she'd just snubbed him for a man she knew was a trained killer. She didn't even have an excuse, really. He was her friend, and he'd never hurt her. But that didn't mean he was a good person. It gave her no reason to trust him with her family and friends. And it certainly was no guarantee that she'd made the right choice.

Buttoning up her jeans, she readjusted her bra and glanced down at the necklace he'd given her. It looked awfully expensive. As shameful as it made her feel, she couldn't help but wonder if he was buying her loyalty. Pulling on a soft chenille sweater, she pushed the thought aside. He was nothing like her father, and he never would be.

Slipping on a pair of canvas shoes, she climbed down the ladder to see Alex sitting on the couch, staring at the cold fireplace. He didn't even glance at her when he said, "Someone needs to rebuild the fire."

She sat down next to him, placing her hand on his thigh. "You're right."

He did look at her then, for a moment.

"I'm sorry about my brother. He had no right to talk to you that way."

"Afraid I'm going to want revenge and try to kill him?"

"No."

"He meant what he said. I have to admire his honesty. It's a trait I'm sadly lacking."

"You haven't lied to me."

"Sin of omission. Same thing."

"What else haven't you told me?"

He smirked slightly. "I could fill a book."

Lifting her hand from his thigh, she crossed her arms. "So tell me something now."

"My name isn't Alex Krycek."

"I figured as much." She was silent for a moment. "What is it?"

"Mikhail Alexei Antonov. Krycek was my mother's--Eva's--last name."

"Mikhail?"

"That was on my birth certificate, anyway. At home, they called me Michael. Sounded more American."

"Why did you choose Alex?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I liked it better."

The front door opened, and Walter came back in carrying a small black pouch. The vaccine. He unzipped the bag as he closed the door, pulling out a vial and wrapped syringe. Just as he was walking over to where they sat, the other bedroom door opened and John walked out carrying his daughter, Caroline following closely behind holding Chris's hand. Sabryn's heart broke at the sound of Jolie's few remaining sobs. She wasn't even sure she wanted to know what her parents had told her. True to his five-year-old self, Chris didn't look the slightest bit bothered. No doubt, he didn't understand at all.

John sat down in the chair next to the couch, Jolie straddling his lap, rubbing his daughter's back in an effort to calm her down. Looking exhausted, Carly sat down next to Sabryn and Chris stood by her knee, staring at Alex silently. Clearly uncomfortable under the scrutiny, Alex looked away.

"Who goes first?" Walter asked, unwrapping the syringe. "I assume it isn't going to matter at this stage if we share a needle."

"The kids go first," Carly said, adamantly.

He nodded. "Do you want to do it, or should I?"

"Have you given shots before?"

"It's been over twenty years, but I think I can remember."

"All right."

"I'll go see if we have some alcohol."

Walter walked out of the room. He hadn't looked at Sabryn even once. She had a terrible feeling she'd hurt him badly. It was the last thing she'd ever want to do to a friend. She hoped he'd give her a chance to explain...that is, if she could figure out how.

"I don't like shots," Jolie said, her voice muffled against her daddy's neck.

"It's OK, sweetie. It'll only hurt a little bit."

Still staring at Alex, Chris pulled himself into Sabryn's lap and wrapped his arms around her neck. "I gonna see ET."

Alex met her gaze, as if wondering what to say.

"No, Christopher, he can't come this time. Maybe...maybe next time."

Walter walked back into the room, carrying a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some tissues. Sitting on the coffee table across from Sabryn, he spoke softly to Chris while he swabbed his left arm with alcohol. The little boy stared at him with wide blue eyes, looking at the syringe with trepidation as Walter flipped the cap off and stuck the needle into the vial. Alex told him how much to use, and he flicked any bubbles out before squeezing a small amount out of the tip. Covering her nephew's eyes, Sabryn winced as Walter poked the needle into his arm and Christopher yelped in shock. Injecting all of the fluid, Walter swabbed the area again as he pulled the needle out.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Chris didn't say a word, but Jolie looked on with interest. It was her turn next, and she barely even flinched when she got her shot. Her dad tousled her hair and grinned.

"Who's next?"

"Caroline."

Her sister-in-law looked away from the needle, probably out of queasiness. When she was done, Walter filled the syringe again and frowned at the bottle.

"There's only enough for two more shots."

Sabryn glanced at Alex. "That's all I could get," he said.

"What do we do now?"

She'd be damned if she let her protector go without the vaccine. "Give the next one to John."

"Sabryn--"

"Do it!"

Before he could protest, Walter poked the needle into his arm. John looked at her with joyless eyes, before meeting his wife's gaze. His expression softened immediately.

Turning around, Walter said, "Your turn."

"No. The rest is yours."

"The hell it is!" Alex stood up. "I didn't risk my ass to bring that bottle back here for Skinner."

"Alex, you promised him. You owe him that much, after what you did."

"I don't give a damn what I owe him. The shot is yours."

"He's right, Sabryn," Walter said. "I'm not taking it."

"You have to. You're an Assistant Director of the FBI. I'm a nobody."

"Don't give me that shit. Push your sleeve out of the way."

"No. I can take care of myself. You said we're safe here, and we have a lot of guns..."

"Sabryn, let him give you the shot!" John ordered.

She couldn't let them do this. She'd already disappointed Walter miserably...she wasn't going to take his life as well. This was his chance, and he was far more needed in the future than a starving artist. Standing up, she pushed past Carly and tried to fight her way past John. His daughter slid off his lap as he stood up and grabbed her arms.

"John, stop it. It isn't my shot."

As hard as she tried to fight him, to get past him, he held on tight. He fought off her grappling hands, gripping her wrists tight to restrain her. Alex was behind her like a shot, traitorously holding her still while Walter pushed up her sleeve.

"No, please don't do this. Walter, take the shot. I don't--I don't mean anything to the future. You do. Please!"

He jabbed the needle into her flesh, all but ignoring her pleading voice. She gasped painfully, fighting stinging tears as she stared into his eyes. As far as she could see, she'd just killed him. And there was nothing she could do about it.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, as twin tears raced down her face.

Pulling the needle away, he replaced the cap and wiped away one of her tears with his thumb.

"I don't want to hear you say you're less important than I am, ever again."

She sagged against her brother's tight grip, and he released her, letting her weight settle against the hold of Alex's arm. She felt like she was going to throw up.

"Caroline's right," Walter said, looking at Alex. "If we're going to survive this thing, there's no sense in fighting each other. And if you've got a plan, Krycek...I'm all ears."

Part Nine: Baptism Of Fire

Summary: Let the preparations for war begin....

For Ginny, my beta girl, who even dreams about my characters. Now that's what I call dedication to the job. Thanks, Gin. Love ya!

"From a little spark may burst a mighty flame."
--Dante Alighieri.

She stood in front of the open trunk of the car, rubbing the soreness of her left bicep, staring down at the rifles and handguns in disgust. There were enough weapons and ammunition to supply a small army. It was stupid really...like standing in front of a speeding locomotive and waving your arms, hoping it would stop. These guns might slow the aliens down, but nothing more. If anything, they would be used to kill human beings--soldiers marked and tagged, controlled by alien technology to put an end to any resistance.

She'd snuffed out a human life once...she wasn't so sure she could do it again.

Listening absently to the conversation behind her, she stared off into the distance. More fire extinguishers and burn kits would be needed, in case of attack from the alien rebels. The rebels would try to burn any of the controlled soldiers working for the colonists...but there was always a chance they'd turn on the resistors as well. Their exact agenda was unknown, and their unpredictability was more than dangerous.

Infected humans, carrying the black oil virus, and the alien offspring were their biggest threat. The babies were vicious, nearly indestructible, and fast as lightning. As far as Alex was concerned, if you encountered one of the hatchlings, you could kiss your ass good-bye.

Just as frightening...they were all alone. The military would take no action against the colonists. The Federal Emergency Management Agency had even been ordered to shut down the government in case of such an invasion. Cities would no doubt be blockaded and 'quarantined' against the virus. What a crock of shit. Those same cities would be covertly infected with the virus under the colonists' orders. What looked like structured command of the situation in the eyes of the public would be nothing more than traitorous back-stabbing. To save their own asses, the government officials had sold them as slaves to an alien race.

Obviously, no one had learned a damned thing from the past.

"The safest bet, when it comes down to it, is to head for the silos. Underground, like the rats. Everything up here is going to be burned or turned into a wasteland."

"We can't survive down there," Walter said. "It's winter, and there's no way we can get enough food to last us."

"That's why we have to start stocking the place now. Forget about the cabin. It's like living in an unlit bonfire. Underground won't be as cold. The earth doesn't know what season it is eight stories down."

"What if they find us and we're trapped down there?"

"There are dozens of exits from that place. You just have to know where to find them."

Sabryn turned to look at them, still holding her arm. "Do you really want to go back, Alex? Didn't you almost die down there?"

"We don't have much of choice. It's either that, enslavement, or burning to a crisp. Which would you prefer?"

"What about Fox and Agent Scully?" she asked Walter, noting Alex's sudden shift in posture. "We haven't heard from them in days. Shouldn't they be here by now?"

"They're coming here?"

"I haven't been able to recharge my cell phone without the power on," Walter said. "But you're right. They should have been here by now. I might have to make a trip into town and find out what's going on."

"We need more supplies, anyway."

"We're almost out of money."

"Don't worry about the money, I'll handle it."

"You're not going to rob the place, Krycek."

Alex merely grinned.

Standing outside of the phone booth as Walter placed his call, Sabryn watched her niece feed quarters into the mechanical rocket ship Chris was riding. Her nephew giggled with every jerk and tilt of the ride, but Jolie merely looked on in detached boredom. Emotionless and silent, eyes vacant, like a toy doll. Swallowing heavily, Sabryn glanced through the windows of the store behind her, watching her brother and Alex argue as they followed Caroline and her shopping cart down the aisles. At least they weren't killing each other yet. That had to be a good sign.

Stepping away from the booth, she walked over to where Jolie stood and stroked the girl's long blond hair. She didn't even blink.

"Jo?"

"Hmm." It was barely an audible grunt.

"Are you all right, sweetie?"

"Uh-huh."

"What do you say we go for a walk when we get back to the cabin? Just us."

Jolie shrugged, still staring at the rocking ride.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Sabryn kissed the top of Jolie's head and then walked back to where Walter stood. He'd obviously just finished his call and was ready to go inside the store.

"Any news?"

He shook his head in frustration. "I spoke to Scully. She's still trying to get her mother packed up for the trip, and Mulder's disappeared. He took Marita and told Scully he'd be back soon, only he hasn't called or returned."

"Marita?"

"The former Special Representative to the Secretary General of the United Nations. She was being held captive by the Syndicate, while they performed dozens of tests on her, but she escaped. God knows what Mulder's getting her into now."

"Why would they perform tests on her?"

"You remember the boy I told you about, Dmitri? The one Krycek infected with the black oil?" When she nodded, he continued. "Marita was infected by the same boy, when she stole him from Krycek."

"She didn't die?"

"No. She was given the vaccine, from what I was told."

"Well, someone has to find Fox."

He nodded, heading into the store. After Sabryn made sure Jolie knew where she was going, she followed him inside. They found the others in the canned foods aisle, the cart almost full of nonperishable foods. When Walter told the others of the phone call, and of Mulder's disappearance with Marita, she could see the change in Alex's expression almost immediately. She wasn't sure she liked it.

"I think I'm going back, to find them," Walter said.

Alex shook his head. "There isn't any time. By the time you get there, and head back, it'll be too late. FEMA will have control of everything."

"That's a chance I'll have to take."

"Walter, you can't," Sabryn said. "You haven't had the vaccine."

"It doesn't matter. I'm not leaving them out there."

"I'll go."

Sabryn turned her gaze to stare at Alex. He looked suddenly determined to go after them...and unable to meet her gaze, as well.

Walter laughed without amusement. "You just ran from them, Krycek."

"I escaped captivity. And I've done what I set out to do. I brought the guns here. Now I'm ready to finish this."

Sabryn could only stare at him in horror. That's was the only reason he'd come here? To bring guns? She met his gaze for a split second before walking away in disgust.

Standing outside in the parking lot, her hands braced against the side of the truck, she could see Alex's reflection as he walked up behind her. Looking so damned sure of himself, so calm and confident, so fucking beautiful...and meanwhile, she was two steps away from falling apart.

He reached his hand out but she stepped away before he could make contact.

"Don't you fucking touch me."

He exhaled heavily, a moment before forcefully grabbing her anyway and spinning her around to face him. "Talk to me."

"So...you came back here to deliver some guns and to fuck me. How fortunate for you that I was so willing."

"Shut up."

"No, you shut up. You asshole. How dare you even think about doing this to me?"

"Sabryn--"

"I'm not going to let you. Either I come with you, or you don't go at all. It's that simple."

He leaned back against the car behind him, crossing his arms over his chest. "Over my dead body."

"So be it."

"It's too dangerous. The chances are that I won't find them and I'll end up getting killed, or turned into one of their mindless drones."

She shook her head. It was OK for him to be killed? But if she tried to come along, he wasn't having it. Well, screw him.

"Why did you even come back here? Couldn't find anyone else willing to fuck you? Surely even a prostitute wouldn't turn down a felon for the right money."

"Fuck you." He glared at her, standing up straight to tower over her, deliberately using his size to make her back up. "I came back here to make sure you were safe. That you were taken care of. To hold you, to make love you--to tell you I loved you before it was too damned late!"

She stared at him for the longest time, before the shaky whisper finally left her mouth. "Don't lie to me."

"I've never lied to you."

She pushed him out of the way, heading back towards the store. "This isn't funny, Alex."

Grabbing her arm, he yanked her back against his chest and held her tight in his grip.

"Do I sound like I'm laughing?"

"Obviously you're a very good actor."

"Damn it, what the hell do I have to do? Rip my Goddamned heart out?"

She closed her eyes, refusing to hope. It hurt too much. How many times could a heart be broken before it was shattered beyond repair?

"If you love me, you won't leave me."

She could feel his breath stir her hair.

"I'm not doing this to hurt you. I told you a long time ago that I had to finish this."

She turned around in his embrace, meeting his gaze. Jesus. She'd never seen that look on his face before.

"When will it be finished, Alex? When you're dead?" Her hands shook when she raised them to his shoulders. "I hate to tell you this, but one man can't save the entire world. It just isn't possible."

Bending slightly, he pulled her tight against him and buried his face against her neck. Wrapping her arms around his neck, standing on tiptoe, she clenched her eyes shut and wished the world could end just like this. Right at this moment. It would be perfect. But as she curled her fingers under the collar of his coat, she knew nothing was ever that simple.

"You aren't going to change my mind, Sabryn. No matter what you say."

"I hate you for this."

She could feel his lips graze her cheek. "I know."

"Please take me with you."

He pulled back slightly to look at her. "Your brother already hates my guts. There's no way I'd chance getting you killed. Your family needs you here. And I need you safe."

She couldn't argue against her family, and he knew it. He wasn't playing fair.

"When will you go?"

"First thing tomorrow. After we're done here, we'll go to the silo so I can help you get set up."

She felt like she needed to say something, but the words stayed choked in her throat. After eighteen long years of being no one in the world but a little sister, acceptance of his words was hard enough. Actually believing them would be even harder. Saying and feeling them in return, without the constant fear of rejection, would be a miracle in itself.

Pressing her forehead against his collarbone, she lowered her arms and wrapped them around his waist.

"I thought spies weren't supposed to fall in love?"

"Although it's inadvisable, you've got that wrong. Spies are supposed to be fearless." He placed a small kiss against her temple. "I'm not afraid of loving you. I live for danger."

She glanced up at him and smirked. "OK, smart ass."

Grinning, he tilted her chin up and met her lips in a devastating kiss. She drank in the taste of him, imbibing of his mouth like the most intoxicating of liquors. Greedy, thirsty for the tangle of his tongue. Suckling, bingeing, unable to get enough. And when they finally heard the high-pitched giggle of her nephew, he broke away from her lips to stare at her flushed face.

Glancing back at her niece and nephew, she cleared her throat. "I suppose we ought to see what's taking them so long in the store."

He laughed softly. "Probably a good idea."

She wasn't exactly sure what she'd been expecting. Something more menacing perhaps. Certainly not a bunch of metal sheds out in the middle of nowhere.

After paying for their purchases at the store, with the stolen credit card Alex had used courtesy of a man named Ted Sternes, they'd driven twenty minutes north to the decommissioned missile silos where they'd be waiting out Armageddon. Shivering, Sabryn glanced around at the barren fields surrounding them and fervently hoped the inside was a lot more interesting than the outdoors. She knew she was about to be disappointed.

Following her brother's lead, she grabbed a couple of bags out of the back of the truck and headed for the nearest shed. Standing just outside the door, holding it open with his foot, Alex looked slightly queasy. Allowing Carly and the kids to pass her, she stopped next to him.

"Are you sure you can do this?"

"Yeah...It'll take me a minute. I have trouble with tight spaces now."

Checking to see that her family was out of earshot, she whispered, "You didn't last night."

Despite his obvious discomfort, he couldn't help but grin at that comment. "Totally different situation."

"So, why don't you stay up here, while we go down?"

"You oughta know by now that I don't mind going down."

She bit her lip, stifling a giggle. Tilting her head towards the doorway, she said, "Come on, big boy...show me your stuff."

Pinching her on the ass, he laughed at her squeal and followed her into the shed. The room was a lot bigger than it looked. Before the door closed all the way, Alex flipped on the power grid and the lights came up to illuminate their path.

"I can't believe this place still has power."

"It's still military controlled. Which is why we better hurry up. There's nothing out here worth stealing, and it's not an active base, but it's still patrolled." He glanced over at Walter. "I hope you brought your credentials."

Without saying a word, Walter started down the stairs. The sound of his footsteps on the metal-grid stairs echoed in the passage. Silently, they all followed. About halfway down, Sabryn looked back to see Alex holding on to the railing in a nauseous sway.

"Are you all right? You look like you're gonna hurl."

"I'd be a lot better if you didn't talk about it."

"Sorry. Do you want us to stop?"

He shook his head. "I'll be down in a minute."

Sixteen flights of stairs in all. It wasn't so bad on the way down, but she could tell the climb back up was going to be hell. They reached the bottom and came out into an open hallway, a long barely lit passage with turnoffs and several marked doors. So this was home sweet home. It looked like someone's warehouse.

He'd been right about the temperature. It wasn't as cold down here, but it wasn't exactly cozy either. Still, she supposed it was better than facing flame-throwing rebels or freezing to death out in the snow. They walked down the long hallway, opening doors along the way. If they were to stay in these rooms, they'd need to find a way to prop the doors open and keep them that way--they quickly learned by Chris's wanderings that the doors locked the moment they closed.

No privacy. No heat. No windows. Ceilings in the silos that went up forever, it seemed. Eight stories underground. It made her see being buried six feet under in a whole new light.

As her family explored further down the hallway, Sabryn stayed close to Walter's side, glancing back every now and then, hoping Alex was all right.

"Walter, I've been wanting to talk to you."

"You don't need to explain anything to me."

"Yes, I do--"

"You made it perfectly clear to me before that you had feelings for him. I should have backed off."

"No, I--you don't understand. I did lead you on, and I was really wrong to have done that. But I didn't fully understand my feelings myself. I guess I was more attracted to you as a father-figure than anything else."

He looked at her in disbelief before walking away. Hurrying to catch him, she grabbed his arm.

"I'm not saying that things wouldn't be different somehow if I hadn't ever met Alex. You're a very attractive man, Walter. You have to know that." She swallowed heavily, hoping he understood. "Your strong and in control, authoritative, protective...and those are things my father never was. He didn't know how to be, especially when I needed it most. But you took care of me. You were strength, when I barely had any of my own. And I wanted that. I still do. But it's not the kind of attraction you want it to be, and I'm sorry."

He stared at her a moment, before clearing his throat and glancing back behind them. "You're the only reason why I haven't killed him by now."

"You have good reason to feel that way. There is no excuse for what he did to you."

"How can you be with him, knowing what he's done? Not just to me, but to everyone?"

"It's not easy...and it hurts me to know that in a way I've betrayed all of you by choosing him. But he's my friend and I...I can't really explain it better than that."

"Your brother thinks you're making a huge mistake."

"I know. And I'm sorry he feels that way. I'd never do anything to upset Johnny, if I could help it."

"Krycek is leaving you, Sabryn. Why don't you just let him go? Get on with your life and pretend he was never in it. The chances are, he won't come back."

She touched her hand to her chest, feeling the outline of her necklace through her sweater. "I can't."

Setting down her bags, she turned around and headed back to the stairs.

It seemed like an eternity before she reached the top of the stairs, her muscles wobbly and tired. Alex hadn't been waiting where she left him. Her heart pounding she hurried over to the main door and pushed it open, letting out a breath of relief when she saw him leaning against the truck.

Walking over to where he stood, her legs about ready to collapse underneath her, she sagged against his body. "Where did you go?"

"I couldn't stay down there. I felt like I was suffocating." He laughed, wryly. "So much for spies being fearless."

"Are you OK now?"

"Yeah. It may be colder than hell froze over out here, but it's open space."

"I can see why you don't like that place. Gave me the creeps. I don't know if I could handle living here."

"Hopefully you won't have to worry about it for long."

She stood up on her tiptoes, stretching out her muscles. "Remind me when this is over to take some aerobics classes."

"I'll do that."

"My fat ass could use some exercise."

He glanced over her shoulder, groping her with his right hand. "Feels pretty good to me. Besides, I thought I gave you quite a workout last night."

She was just about to make a sly comment of her own, when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Glancing over, thinking it might be the military patrol he'd mentioned, she was shocked to see a man sitting on the back of a shaggy horse, looking at them. Just on the other side of the tall, chain-link fence, he watched them casually, not bothering to say a word. She felt a chill run down her spine...especially when she realized she'd seen him before.

The man, with red hair, from K-Mart.

"Alex..." Her voice was barely a whisper, as she tried to keep her lips as still as possible.

"Hmm?"

"That man over there, I've seen him before."

He turned his head to look in the direction of her gaze, and just as he spotted him, the man turned his horse and slowly rode away.

"He probably owns property around here."

"No, he was staring at us. And he was staring at me the other day, when Walter and I went shopping."

"He's probably seen you in the area. No doubt," he said, with a kiss on the edge of her mouth, "he thinks you're pretty sexy."

Despite her slight worry, she let him coax her mind off the subject and into one much more satisfying. Still, she couldn't shake the goose bumps crawling across her flesh.

Part Ten: Flirting With Danger

Summary: Just who is that creepy guy on the horse, anyway?

For Julie, the most faithful feedback writer I know. Thanks, my friend!

"It is a poor thing for anyone to fear that which is inevitable."
--Quintus Tertullian

She could only take so much staring at the Christmas tree before she started yanking the bows off the branches and throwing them in the fire. Attacking the lights next, she tried to ignore the fact that Alex was in the next room repacking his clothes in the suitcase she'd given him for the trip. She certainly wouldn't need it anymore. She didn't even want to acknowledge that he might not need it much longer himself.

She could smell soup heating on the stove as Carly busied herself in the kitchen. After several more trips to the silos, hauling more of their belongings and the weapons they'd accumulated, a hot meal sounded good. It was doubtful they'd get too many of those underground. They'd purchased a small camp stove, but the propane wouldn't last forever. They'd have to conserve and ration everything they had. Especially water. Although they'd bought every bottle they could find, the water wouldn't last for long. Even now, they used several gallons a day, per person, just bathing...nowhere near filling the tub.

Yanking hard on a tangled section of lights and popcorn garland, she only succeeded in toppling the tree over and nearly smothering herself in the process.

"Damn it!" The sound of footsteps made her scramble out from under the tree, and look up at Alex in warning. "Don't say a word."

He glanced down at the pine needles all over her shirt and raised his eyebrows. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Holding out his right hand, he pulled her to her feet.

"Stupid ass tree."

"What put you in a bad mood all of the sudden?"

"Nothing. I just didn't want to stare at this tree anymore. Christmas is over."

"It was yesterday."

"Yeah, well, yesterday is over, right?" She rubbed her eyes, groaning. "Yesterday is gone, and shitty old tomorrow is on its way."

"It's not here yet." A sly grin spread across his face. "Dinner won't be ready for a while, and I'm feeling kinda grimy. Think I'll take a bath. Wanna join me and conserve some water?"

"Mmm, that sounds nice," she said, tracing her fingertip down his chest, "but it's going to have to wait. I promised Jolie I'd go for a walk with her."

He grabbed her finger and pulled her closer, sucking the digit into his mouth until her toes curled. Releasing the suction to trace her finger across his lower lip, he said, "Can't it wait?"

She shook her head. "Sorry. She should be back with John and Walter in just a few minutes."

Snaking his arm around her waist and dragging her against his chest, he nipped at her earlobe. "You're a pain in the ass, girl."

"You ain't seen nothin' yet."

"That a promise?"

Digging her fingernails into his shoulders, she squirmed against his hand as he caressed her ass. God, he was terrible. She could feel the solid bulge of his erection against her belly. He was making it awfully hard to say no.

"Definite promise. I'll rock your world, babe." She scurried free of his embrace, hurrying towards the door while she could still resist. "Later."

"You know, it's not very nice to tease!"

She giggled softly as she pulled on her coat and shut the door behind her.

The truck was just coming into sight as she stepped off the porch, into the snow. She slipped her hands into her soft angora gloves, waiting patiently for Walter to park beside the camper. Instead of racing out the door the minute the wheels stopped moving, Jolie took several minutes to unhook her seat belt and slowly climb down from the cab. And when she reached where her aunt stood, Sabryn still couldn't see a bit of emotion in her tiny face.

"Ready for our walk?"

Jolie shrugged. "Where's Chris?"

"Your mom put him down for his nap."

The girl didn't say another word. Turning her attention to Walter, Sabryn asked, "Did you get everything settled?"

"We got most of the stuff moved. We'll have to take the rest later."

"Damned near got caught by a patrol," John added. "Luckily, Walt here has a lead foot."

She looked back at Walter and smirked. "You raced the military patrol?"

"Something like that."

He headed for the cabin, unzipping his coat along the way. Sighing, Sabryn met her brother's gaze. "Is he OK?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

"He--he didn't say anything about me, or Alex?"

"Nope. Not a word."

She nodded slightly. "All right. Jolie and I are going for a walk. We should be back before dinner."

"OK."

Grabbing her niece's hand, she headed for the fields behind the house, back towards the hill they'd once gone sledding down. The snow was starting to melt now, leaving the path bare in spots. Still, she was glad she'd traded her canvas shoes for a pair of boots.

Glancing down at Jolie, she wondered if the girl was even aware of her presence. She seemed to be in her own little world. If Bryn hadn't been holding her hand, she probably wouldn't have followed. Stopping for a moment, she knelt down and zipped up her niece's coat all the way. Jolie didn't even look at her.

"It sure is pretty out here, isn't it?"

Nothing but a blink.

"But I bet you miss your friends back home. I do, too. I wish I could call Olivia."

Still silence.

Grabbing her chin, Sabryn turned her head until she was forced to meet her gaze. "Honey, can you hear me?"

"I miss Grammy and Grandpa." It was the softest of whispers, one she wouldn't have heard if she weren't kneeling so close.

"I know, Sweetie. I do, too."

She felt another stab of irrational anger at her parents. The poor kid thought her entire world was ending, and wanted nothing more than to see her family. But even that was too much to ask.

"Maybe we can go back into town sometime soon and call them."

Oddly, the suggestion seemed to spark some kind of hope in Jolie's eyes. Standing up, Sabryn grabbed her hand again and started trudging up the hill. They walked in silence for a while, only the sound of their breathing and the billowy clouds of exhalation to accompany them. The hill seemed to go up forever, past hairpin curves, through naked deciduous trees, farther and farther from the cabin. Glancing back down, she could see the smoke coming from the chimneys below.

"I didn't realize this hill was so high. We must not have gone to the top before."

Curling her fingers against Sabryn's gloves, Jolie gazed up at her. "Do you like him?"

"Who? Alex?"

Jolie nodded. "He looks mean."

She didn't know whether to smile at that or frown. "He's not mean to me. And yes, I like him very much."

"You have sex with him, don't you?"

She'd come to expect bold questions from her niece, but even that one made her blush. "Has your dad been talking in front of you, again?"

"No. Alex said he came here to fu--"

"OK, I get the picture," she interrupted, quickly. "Yes, I do have sex with him. But it's not as vulgar as he makes it sound when talking to your daddy."

"What's 'vulgar'?"

"Gross."

"You like it?"

Surely her face was about to burst into flames. "Yes, I do."

"Mommies and daddies have sex."

"I know that, Jolie."

"Are you gonna have a baby?"

"No, and I think that's enough questions for today."

"How come? Daddy said it's good to be curious. Makes you smarter."

"I think you're plenty smart already, Jo."

"How old is he?"

Sabryn resumed walked, groaning mentally. "You know, I really don't know."

"He looks old. Mom said I can't have sex until I'm older."

"Well, that's good advice," she said, laughing.

"My friend Jenny told me there was a difference between sex and making love...but she didn't know what it was."

"Jolie, do your parents know you and your friends talk about sex?"

"Yes."

She wasn't quite sure if her niece was being truthful or not. Somehow she couldn't imagine her brother ever having the-birds-and-the-bees talk with anyone.

"Maybe you should talk to your parents about this."

Jolie stopped walking. "Okay...they don't know. Daddy turns all red when I ask him about it...kinda like you are right now."

Gritting her teeth, Sabryn turned and kept walking. John often told her that his daughter was a lot like she was...if that was true, then she really was a pain in the ass. "Yes, Jolie, there is a difference between sex and making love. But if you love the person you're with, it really doesn't matter."

"You love Alex?"

"I--" She paused, staring at the girl's big blue eyes in astonishment. Christ. The kid really was smart. "Yeah. I do."

She sounded stunned, even to her own ears.

*I'll be damned.*

Resuming her pace, she shook her head. "How did you get to be so smart?"

"Lots and lots of questions."

Smiling, Sabryn noticed they'd reached the top of the ridge. She couldn't even see the cabin anymore with all of the trees in-between. But looking down the other side of the hill, she gazed down at the massive structure below her and frowned. There was quite a bit of distance between them and the expansive plain below, but the light glinting off the metal roofs gave her no doubt...she was looking down on the missile silos where they'd stowed their gear.

"That's really weird. I didn't know that was so close." Trying to spot the road from where they stood, she squinted. "We must have to drive all the way around the ridge."

"I'm hungry."

"We'll head back in a minute," she said, absently. Thinking out loud, she added, "You know, it might be easier to walk this way to the silos instead of driving and taking the chance of getting caught on the road."

Jolie looked on, in boredom. "That's a long walk."

"Yeah, but it--"

She cut off in mid-sentence, startled by a loud snapping sound in the woods nearby. Grabbing Jolie and pulling her closer, she wondered a bit too late if there were mountain lions in this area. Slowly lowering herself to the ground, she felt around for a stick or a rock to use as a weapon. She suddenly felt stupid for not having brought a gun.

"Wh--"

"Shhh!" Seizing a nearby stick, she stood up to see movement in the trees. Her heart felt like it was beating a mile a minute. She briefly thought of sending Jolie running back down the trail, but that would only make her a target. Wild cats could climb trees, so that wasn't an option. If she could just get Jolie to run through the woods behind her, placing herself between her niece and the predator, there might be a chance.... "Jo, get behind me."

The little girl complied, burying her face against the back of Sabryn's coat. As she was about to tell her to run, more movement across from them made her gasp.

"I didn't mean to startle you."

The masculine voice made her start all the more. Unfamiliar and unexpected, it gave her the chills. And when she saw the branches brush aside as the man rode his horse into the clearing, she could barely even breathe. It was him. The same man she'd seen watching her twice before. If not for the horse, which could run her down in seconds, she would have grabbed Jolie's hand and sprinted. Instead, she could only stand rooted to the ground, clutching her stick before her like a bowie knife.

He smiled slightly, his freckled cheeks crinkling. "I'm not going to attack. You don't have to beat me."

"Who are you?"

"The name's Erik Larsen. And you are?"

"Why have you been watching me?"

He had the grace to blush slightly. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to scare you. I should have told you why when I first saw you, but I didn't want you to think it was some cheap line. I'm not coming on to you. You just remind me a lot of my late wife. The resemblance is eerie."

Jolie peeked her head around, forgetting to be afraid. She stared at the man with open interest.

"Well, you did scare me, Mr. Larsen. I'm not accustomed to people watching me like sniper surveillance."

"I assure you it's nothing so sinister. And if I were a sniper, you wouldn't have seen me at all."

Sabryn didn't let go of the stick as Jolie stepped up beside her and took her hand. "I would have appreciated an explanation."

"I know. I realize it was cowardly of me, but I didn't want to make a fool out of myself. You see, my wife--Ingrid--had a lot of sisters. Some in Ohio, Florida, New York...all over the place. I don't suppose you've ever heard of the Hedstroms? No, probably not. Anyway, I just thought, since you look so much like her, you might be related. I never got to know any of her family. They disowned her when we married, and she died in a car accident before we ever had the chance to make amends."

"No, I don't know your wife's family, I'm sorry."

By the tone of her voice, she knew Caroline would have said she was rude. And judging by Jolie's expression, she thought the same thing. But there was just something about Erik Larsen that wasn't right.

"Yah, that's what I thought," he said, his voice showing the only bit of regional accent she'd heard since he started talking. "Still, I had to ask, you know? Where're you two staying, over at the old cabin? I have a place right down here, on the other side. That's why you saw me so close to the silos. I check that place out every once in a while, make sure there aren't a bunch of kids over there vandalizing."

"That's very nice of you. I'm sure the government appreciates it. We aren't in the area for long. In fact, we should be heading back right now."

"I didn't catch your names."

"That's because I didn't give them. I'm sorry, Mr. Larsen, but I don't feel comfortable giving my name to strangers."

A little voice in her head spoke up, pointing out Alex Krycek, but she stifled the reminder. All right, so she didn't feel comfortable giving her name to just any stranger.

He looked slightly disappointed, but recovered quickly. "Oh, well, that's OK. I understand. It's only natural after I was practically stalking you. You don't have to like me. I was just trying to be friendly."

His attempt to make her feel guilty almost worked, but she didn't give in. Silently thanking Oprah for quality television, she said, "That's very considerate of you, but we really must be going."

Steering Jolie back towards the path, she started walking quickly--never relinquishing her stick.

"Can I give you two a ride? Old Tess here doesn't mind an extra rider or two, and I'm sure the youngster would like her."

Jolie's eyes lit up as she looked back at the man. She loved horses. "Can we, Bryn?"

"Shhh!" Turning back one last time, she said, "I don't mean to be rude, but we'll be fine on our own. You can just go on home now, and we'll do the same."

The smile disappearing from his face, he nodded. "All right, now. I can take a hint. Good night, Miss Bryn."

Packing up everything he needed in the car, Alex slammed the trunk closed and turned around to nearly run into Sabryn's brother. Staring down at him, John barely bothered to glare. He didn't really need to anymore. He'd made his feelings very clear.

"Leaving?"

"Tomorrow," Alex said, taking a step to the side.

He was about to walk around him when John held his hand out and stopped him. "You came all the way back here just to leave her again. What kind of an asshole are you?"

"I don't have time for this shit--"

"You'll make time, damn it." He'd barely even raised his voice. The man must have been a psychological nightmare on the football field. "This is my baby sister we're talking about, and I'm not about to let you fuck with her head."

"Do you really think I want to hurt her? Christ, you overgrown oaf. I love her. And maybe if you stopped treating her like a baby, you would have noticed that by now."

John looked taken aback. Apparently he really was dense when it came to his sister.

"What the hell am I supposed to do if you die? She's going to be devastated."

"I don't know who appointed you her guardian, John, but she can take care of herself. And yeah, there's a very good chance that I might not come back, but I'm going to do everything I can to prevent that. For her sake and mine."

She's been abandoned by everyone, Krycek. I'm the only one who's never let her down."

"Until now." Alex shook his head. "You're gonna push her away if you keep fighting me. And guess who she's gonna run to."

"But you won't be here."

"Maybe not physically, but she'll be mine all the same. I don't want her to have to choose sides. You took care of her as a little girl, and she needs you. Don't make her give that up for me. At least not until I'll be around to enjoy it."

Seemingly in spite of himself, John actually smiled. "I still don't like you. Nor do I trust you. But you won't be my problem for much longer, will you?"

Alex nodded. It was as close to a truce that he could ever hope for.

"She deserves better."

"I know. So I'll just have to become the type of man she deserves."

Searching his gaze, all malice gone from his own expression, John acquiesced. "You do that."

Before he could reply, Alex looked up to see Sabryn and Jolie come racing around the corner, hand in hand, breathless, giggling.

"What have you been doing?" John asked.

Bending over to catch her breath, Sabryn winked at Jolie. "Running from bad guys."

"What?" Alex asked.

"We saw...that guy. The one from the silos. He was up on the hill."

"Bryn thinks he's evil!" Jolie said, giggling.

John looked delighted to see a smile back on his daughter's face. "And that's funny?"

"We pretended like he was chasing us and ran all the way down the hill."

Sucking in a deep breath, Sabryn stood up and held her side. "Adrenaline. Does wonders for the giggle factor."

"Uh-huh," John said, shaking his head. "Well, dinner's ready. We should go eat."

"We'll be inside in a minute," Alex said, his gaze never leaving Sabryn's face.

John took his daughter inside, leaving them alone.

"What were you talking about, when we interrupted you?" she asked. "He wasn't menacing you again, was he?"

He shook his head, grabbing the waist band of her jeans to tug her closer. After a lingering kiss, he glanced back at the trail. "You saw that guy again?"

"Yeah. And he's just as creepy in person."

He frowned. "I don't want you going up there without your brother, Skinner, or a gun, from now on."

"I wasn't planning on it."

"What did he say to you?"

"Some lame story about me looking like his dead wife."

"She must be pretty well preserved if she looks this good."

Smirking, she pinched his side. "You're just a barrel of laughs."

Nipping at her lower lip, he grinned. "What else did he say?"

"That he owned property by the silos--"

"Told you so."

"Yeah, yeah. He still creeps me out. He just kept staring at me. And he wouldn't stop until he learned my name."

"You told him?"

"No, Jolie spilled the beans. She wanted to ride his horse."

Scowling, he steered her towards the door. "I think you should stay away from that guy. He sounds like a kook."

"Yes, sir." She gave him a mock salute.

"Hey! Be nice, and later I'll let you ride my horse."

Part Eleven: Prelude To Goodbye

Summary: How do you say an unforgettable farewell?

For Allison--most generous person I've never met. Thank you for...everything.

"A friend is someone who knows all about you, and loves you just the same."
--Author Unknown.

She winced as she crept down the ladder, hoping the creaking of the rungs wasn't audible from the nearby bedroom. Wearing her blue night shirt and carrying a bottle of scented bath gel, she stepped away from the ladder and turned to make her way towards the bathroom...only to shriek and nearly jump out of her skin as Johnny stepped right in her path.

"Going somewhere?"

Shit. She'd waited all damned night for him to go to bed before pretending to retire to her own bed in the loft. She'd told Alex, just before dinner, that she'd join him for that bath he'd mentioned as soon as John went to sleep. Several long hours playing "Go Fish" had not been her idea of a good time. But what she would've rather been doing would have sent Johnny's temperature boiling hotter than the water heating on the stove.

Still, the odd little smile on his face had been unnerving.

Now she knew why.

"Damn it, don't sneak up on me like that! You know the dark freaks me out."

There was amusement in his voice when he said, "Sorry. But I was wondering what was taking you so long."

"I didn't know I was that obvious."

"Bryn, I would love challenge you to a game of poker. I'd win every time."

Rolling her eyes, she turned around and headed back to the ladder.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to bed."

"Isn't he waiting for you?"

Pausing, she glanced at him over her shoulder. "Well, yes, but I was planning on sneaking back down here after you went to bed again."

He laughed softly. "Get your butt in there before the water gets cold."

Turning, she could only stare at him. "You aren't angry?"

"I've never, in your whole life, seen you smile the way you do when you look at him. If he can do that...there must be something about him that I'm not seeing."

"Oh, John...just when you're becoming a real pain in the ass, you do something sweet to make me love you all over again."

He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "Right back at'cha. Now go, before I have to force you."

Stepping past him, she grinned. "Good night."

"Night."

She didn't waste time wondering if he'd change his mind. She just ran. Knocking lightly on the bathroom door, she turned the knob and opened it a crack.

"It's me."

"It's about time. I was beginning to think I'd been stood up."

Peeking around the door, she took one look at his nude body gold-plated by candlelight, and said, "Good God, never."

Stepping inside the room, she shut and locked the door behind her. Leaning heavily against the wooden surface. Damn, he was magnificent. Illuminated by a curtain of glowing steam, his flesh dotted with condensation, he sat casually in the full tub with his knees bent to accommodate his long legs. Every dip and curve of his muscles was a play of light and shadow. Tempting, beckoning. Making her weak in the knees.

"Wow, a sexy male, a hot bath, and candles? How romantic."

"It was either that or we sit in the dark."

Taking in the visual feast, she raised her eyebrows. "That would never do."

"So get your butt in here before it starts getting cold."

Setting the bath gel down, she turned her head to see him watching her. A strange expression she'd never seen before sobered his face.

"What?"

"Ti krasivaya," he whispered. "Ya lyublyu tiba."

"I have no idea what the hell you just said, but it sounded cool."

He smiled, holding out his hand. "Get in here."

Dragging her night shirt over her head, she did as he asked, watching his verdant gaze darken even more as he took in her nudity. Stepping into the tub, shuddering slightly at the unfamiliar heat, she tried to settle down opposite him...and was barely successful. There was not nearly enough room for the both of them. Her back was uncomfortably pressed against the water spout, her legs were bent in an awkward position, and she was half sitting on his feet.

"OK, so maybe this isn't as romantic as it seemed."

"Why don't you come over here?"

"Well, I need to shave my legs."

"Now that's romantic."

"If you'd rather I go around looking like a Chia pet..."

He tugged her bent legs out from between his own and tucked her feet over his hips. Grabbing the bath gel, he squeezed some onto her leg and let the bottle drop as he began lathering the mint-scented soap. She sat back as best as she could in her cramped position and watched him with open interest. There was something oddly erotic about watching him work up a lather, even if she was a bit embarrassed by her stubbly legs.

"Are you going to shave them for me, too?"

He shook his head. "I don't want to cut you. I'll just sit back and admire the view."

She considered her position, sitting opposite him with her legs spread over his, and blushed. And when his soapy hand slid down even further, for a completely unwarranted lathering, she bit her lip to stifle a moan.

"Alex..."

"Hmm?"

"You better stop or you're going to make me shake so hard I'll cut myself."

Reluctantly, he sat back and propped his arm up on the edge of the tub. "Hurry up."

Grabbing the nearby pink razor, she set to work, meeting his gaze every now and then, hoping her stomach didn't look too horribly flabby as she bent over. He watched with surprising patience, grabbing the gel again as she moved to the other leg, before running his hand over the smooth calf of the first.

"Nice."

She smiled, trying hard to ignore his erection. It wasn't easy, and the growing moisture between her legs had nothing to do with the water.

"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow. You haven't even been here two days."

"Don't think about that now."

"I can't not think about it, Alex. You don't even know if you'll make it back."

"I'll come back. One way or another."

She finished shaving the rest of her leg in silence before awkwardly lifting herself out of the water. He was about to reach for her, thinking she was leaving, when she turned and settled down with her back to his chest. She could feel his still hard cock pressed between them, making her breath catch. With her feet against the opposite wall, she had to admit it was better this way. Resting her head on his shoulder, she tangled her fingers with his.

"I wish we could stay like this."

"If I stay like this much longer, I'm going to explode."

She met his gaze over her shoulder, before twisting to meet his kiss. The insistent thrust of his tongue in her mouth was like a drug. Alluring and addictive. She lifted her hand to run her fingers through his wet hair, pulling him even tighter against her mouth. His hand cupped her breast, squeezing, caressing, rolling her nipple between his fingers, making her squirm. Sliding down, his hand delved under the water, squeezing between her legs to part the folds of her sex.

"God, you're so wet," he whispered against her lips.

She arched her back as his fingers teased, dipping deeper to push inside her, teasing her clit with his thumb. Her hips began to shift involuntarily, seeking more, needing even harder pressure of his hand. And yet, this wasn't what she'd had in mind.

"Wait."

"Hmm?"

"Alex, stop."

His ragged breathing against her ear, he said, "What the hell for?"

Pushing his hand out of the way was one of the hardest things she'd had to do, but as she sat up and turned on her knees to face him, she knew it didn't matter. For once, this was going to be all for him. His pleasure, his memories. When she was done with him, he'd never want to leave her.

Sitting back on her heels, an extremely uncomfortable position against the hard floor of the tub, she reached for the bath gel.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll see."

Reaching behind her, she released the plug on the tub and drained half of the water.

"What the hell...I didn't drag bucket after bucket of water in here for nothing."

"Shhh. Trust me, Mikhail."

He frowned slightly, watching her through lowered eyelids as she squeezed some of the gel into her hand and worked it into a lather. Leaning over him, bracing one hand against his shoulder, she started lathering his chest. Working in a circular motion, paying particular attention to his hardening nipples. Up and over his shoulder, trailing a soapy path up his neck and down again. He tried to nip at her lips as she neared, but she pulled away and laughed softly.

"Patience, please."

She washed down one arm, cleaning each finger in turn, before moving to the other side and gently bathing the scarred remains of his left arm. After cleaning under his arms and down his sides, she rinsed off her hands and poured handfuls of water over his skin to clean away the frothy mess.

"You're killing me here."

"So I see." She reached down to brush away the pearl of moisture at the head of his cock with her thumb, making him flinch. "I promise it'll be worth the wait."

Groaning, he leaned forward, and grabbed the back of her neck, claiming a kiss before she could move away.

Dropping her hands to her sides, she gave him a reproachful glare. "You're spoiled. I don't think I should continue at all."

"You better or I'm gonna drag your ass out of here and fuck you on the floor."

She had to squeeze her thighs together as that image flooded her mind. She was almost tempted to let him do it.

Taking a deep breath, she filled her hand with more bath gel and scooted down as far as she could in the tub. Grabbing his left foot, making him bend his leg back even further, she placed it on her chest and slowly began lathering his calf.

"Tell me about your family."

"Jesus, now?"

She grinned, slyly. "Yes. Maybe it'll take your mind off things and you won't be in such...discomfort."

He leaned his head back, bringing his hand up to impatiently rub his eyes. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, what were your parents' names?"

"Anton and Eva."

For some reason he didn't sound too proud to mention that. Working her way back to his foot, she used the lather to massage the tender skin underneath.

"Did they love you?"

"What kind of a question is that?" When she looked away from his gaze, his voice immediately softened. "Yes, they did."

"Did you have any siblings?"

"No. My mother was pregnant again when I was nine, but she miscarried."

"I'm sorry. That must have been very hard on your family."

"You could say that. It was her lover's baby."

She paused while working on the ball of his foot. "Oh. I--"

"It's OK. That was a long time ago."

"It still must have been hard on you. You were so young. I can't remember my parents being anything but indifferent to each other, but at least they didn't cheat."

"She didn't consider it cheating, at the time. She told my father she was doing her job."

Sabryn wasn't sure she wanted to know any more. So much for giving him a night to remember--she was only bringing up bad memories. Setting down his foot, she rinsed away the soap before moving to the other leg.

"What happened between them?"

"They stayed together. He forgave her, even though he'd had his heart broken."

"You wouldn't have done the same?"

"She destroyed him. He was never the same person again. No, I wouldn't have forgiven her, and I didn't. She stuck around, helped me with my homework, paid for part of my education...but we were little more than housemates."

She could understand that very easily. "It must be very hard to trust someone after that."

He didn't say a word. But he didn't really have to. Rinsing off his right leg, she set his foot down and scooted up between his thighs. Her own legs were starting to cramp from sitting in the same position, but she tried her best to ignore it. Concentrating on his gaze, it wasn't too entirely hard.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For kissing Skinner, after what your mother did to you."

He looked away, his expression hardening. "I wanted to kill him."

"And what about me?"

"I wanted to wipe him from your memory. To smother you with myself, consume you, and fuck you so hard you could do nothing but scream my name. Until you knew without a doubt that your every little thought and breath was mine alone--"

She crushed his lips under hers, stopping the possessive litany before he truly grew as angry as he sounded. Sealing their mouths, giving him no doubt as to who she was thinking of. Putting every bit of passion she had behind the act. And when she pulled back to meet his gaze, his eyes were blazing.

"You really are trying to kill me, aren't you?"

"Well...maybe just a little incapacitation, to keep you from leaving tomorrow. After I have my way with you, of course."

"So go ahead."

Reaching for the gel one last time, she held his gaze and she poured some into her hand and rubbed it between her palms. He flinched slightly when she touched her fingers to his inner thighs, raking her fingernails through the dark hair, sliding back and forth in a deliberate tease. And when she finally reached the smooth solid length of his cock, he was breathing so hard he stirred her hair. She stroked her soapy hand up and down, tugging at him with each pull, smiling devilishly when he couldn't keep his hips still. He nearly groaned aloud when she stopped her motions, but as she reached down to rub a layer of foam over his scrotum his protest melted into a moan of pure satisfaction.

"I think you like that."

"Fuck, I can't tell you how good that feels."

"I think I can see for myself."

His cock was so engorged it looked painful. And judging by the way he hissed when she stroked it again, it undoubtedly was. He couldn't hold himself still, his fingers clamped down hard on the rim of the tub, his head tossing against the wall with her every pull. And when she could see his balls starting to rise, she stopped all motion and pulled her hand away.

His eyes popped open immediately. "What the--"

"Patience."

"Screw patience, damn it! I was about to cum!"

She bit her lip, stifling laughter. "Shhh. They'll hear you."

"I don't give a damn. That was plain mean."

"I'll make it up to you," she said, leaning forward to brush his lips with her own. "I promise."

He was unnaturally still, holding his body in rigid composure as she rinsed away the last of the soap. If not for the fact that they still hadn't washed their hair, she would have drained the rest of the water. Instead, she'd just have to work around it. Backing up as far as she could, she rested her forearm on the tub floor and used the other to steady his cock as she took it into her mouth. She could hear him suck in a shuddering breath and she almost needed one of her own. She could barely imagine doing something like this, let alone actually going for it. She'd had him in her mouth once before, but she hadn't expected that moment to go all the way. This time, she knew exactly where things were headed.

Blind instinct led her to swirl her tongue around the dripping head, tasting lightly soapy bath water and the unmistakable taste of male secretions. Slightly bitter, slightly salty, but not unpleasant. Oddly, the more she tasted, the more she liked it. There was something so perfect about having him in her mouth, drinking from his body. A strange, almost biblical notion...which nearly made her laugh, considering the situation. She could feel his belly brushing against her head with the rapid struggle of his breathing. And when she added a bit of suction, she could see his knuckles turn white as he grasped the tub edge even tighter. The throbbing ache between her legs wasn't helping matters in the slightest.

Making sure to breathe, she took him deeper in her mouth...and still managed to gag a bit before she controlled it. He started to reach for her, but she pushed his hand away. He was so close. She wasn't stopping now.

Sucking hard, she used her hand to stroke the length she couldn't manage. Licking at the hard ridge that ran the underside of his cock. Pulling back every now and then to nibble at the swollen head until he moaned out loud. She kissed the tip with moist lips, meeting his gaze once more. He looked about seconds away from losing it. Knowing she had to act fast, she swallowed his length again, moving her head up and down, keeping the rhythm with her hand, feeling his hips start to rise beneath her.

"Oh shit, shitshitshit...."

His fingers clenched in her hair, his entire body poised, and his testicles started to rise, she took one last deep breath and swallowed. His semen spurted against the back of her throat, his entire body shuddering as he emptied himself into her mouth.

"Uhnnn..." He panted, his hand falling limp by her side. "God damn...I didn't know you were going to do that."

Releasing him from her mouth, she licked her lips and sat up. "You didn't like it?"

"I feel like you just ripped my guts out."

"Is that good, or bad?"

"That's good. Very, very good."

She gave him a shy smile as he leaned forward and kissed her, tasting himself in her mouth. Her legs were quivering, and she felt so swollen and achy that she thought she might spontaneously combust. As if reading her mind, he reached his hand between her legs, pushing his fingers inside of her, never taking his lips off hers. She gasped into his mouth, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he continued to shove his fingers in and out. Her shaky thighs threatened to collapse, she could barely breathe, and when he finally pushed his thumb down hard on her stiffened clit, she nearly bit him in her convulsions. He pulled back to watch her, milking the orgasm for all it was worth, fucking her with his fingers until her muscles finally went still.

He rinsed her with the soapy water as she caught her breath. "I think you liked that."

She nodded. "I wasn't lying when I told my brother you were good."

"Damned good."

"Definitely."

Sabryn felt the bed shift and lazily opened her eyes, wondering what time it was. After closing her eyes for the first time all night, only meaning to rest a moment, she'd somehow fallen asleep. Not really surprising. They'd worn each other out. There was scarcely a moment he hadn't been inside her, in one way or another. There wasn't a place on her body he hadn't touched, kissed, or stroked. After so much delicious contact, her whole body felt like a live wire of nerves. Blinking slowly, she turned her head to the side to see Alex laying on his back, scratching the cat behind the ears as it sat on his chest and purred, in pure ecstasy.

"I knew it," she said, softly.

He actually looked embarrassed to be caught in the act. "Knew what?"

"I knew you liked that cat."

"She's a pain in the butt. Wouldn't leave me alone until I petted her."

"Hmm...I bet you say that about me, behind my back, too."

He smirked slightly. "I wouldn't do that, would I, Cheeser?"

"That poor cat's name is Cheeser?"

"Audrey named her 'Cheshire Cat' when she got her, because she looked like she was grinning. But when her youngest granddaughter tried to say the name, it sounded like 'Cheeser.' So, Cheeser Cat, she is."

She reached across to pet the cat, making it purr even louder. "She's awfully sweet."

"Did you have a nice nap?"

"I didn't mean to fall asleep. You should have woke me up."

"You were dreaming. I didn't want to disturb you, in case it was something good."

She thought for a minute, trying to recall what it was. Only bits and pieces floated through her mind. "I was little...running through a field. I got scared, because I thought I was dreaming about the abduction again, but I realized after a while that it wasn't me. And instead of being the girl, I was watching her from behind."

He moved the cat out of the way, turning on his side to face her as Cheeser curled up behind him.

"She had dark hair, and she was running towards a hill...and I called to her, like I knew her." She paused, trying to remember. "I don't know what her name was, but I knew it then. I started to chase after her, and when I got to the top of the hill, she stopped and grabbed my hand. Everything up to then had been normal, but once we were on the hill, you could see this city below...blackened and charred, like it had been bombed."

She shivered, meeting his gaze. "I'm scared. What if the earth does look like that someday?"

"It was a dream." He curled his hand around hers, threading their fingers together. "And even if it wasn't, you were alive."

"Who would want to be alive in a place like that?"

"Things rebuild all the time. Forests burn to the ground from lightning strikes. It's part of nature. And the ash and destruction nourish the new growth, making everything stronger."

"What we're talking about isn't natural at all."

Pulling her closer, he tucked her legs between his and pressed his lips against her hair line. "You're gonna be all right. I know it."

She wrapped her arms around him, bringing them up to cup his shoulders in her hands. Whispering against his shoulder, she said, "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"What?"

"I just thought it would be some innocent thing...something to make me feel normal."

He pulled back to look at her, but she refused to meet his gaze. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know what it was, really. Maybe because you were honest with me. Or maybe because an attractive man paid attention to me...or the danger could have even had something to do with it."

"Sabryn--"

"But I think--I think it was all of those things and more. The kindness that seemed to shine through you, even past that bad-ass persona you wear so well. The way you looked at me. The way you didn't baby me, like my brother. And you wanted me, even after I told you my dirty little secret."

He stared at her in silence. She could feel his gaze boring into her, penetrating, the same hypnotic stare that pulled her in every time. And she couldn't look at him, or she'd never say it.

"That first time, in my bed...I hardly even knew you. I'd talked to you a couple of times before, but it felt like--this is going to sound really stupid and cliched, but it felt like I'd known you a million times before."

"What are you saying?"

She licked her lips, buying precious time. "I'm saying that despite everything I know you've done, and the little voice that tells me it's wrong, I've fallen in love with you. And it scares me to death."

He was alarmingly silent for the longest time. Perfectly still. And she couldn't even tell if he was breathing. Daring to look up, she met his gaze and sucked in a deep breath. He looked shocked. Like it was the last thing he ever expected her to say. He opened his mouth to speak, and closed it again. Blinking a couple of times, before opening his mouth once more.

"Say that again?"

"I said I was scared--"

"No, not that part."

She should have known he wouldn't make this easy. Using the softest whisper, she closed her eyes and said, "I love yo--"

The rest of the word was smothered against his lips, buried under his weight as he rolled and settled on top of her. Twisted and turned into a stunned gasp as he pushed her legs apart and thrust himself inside her. She barely had time to breathe, let alone adjust to his invasion, before he started moving inside of her, worshipping her lips, pulling her thigh up for even deeper penetration.

"Say it again."

Fiery little tingles sped through her veins, rocketing out to the tips of her fingers and toes, centering from the heated spot where they joined.

She panted, closing her eyes at the feel of his mouth suckling her ear. "I love you."

God, his whole body seemed to convulse with the words, speeding up, driving into her even harder.

"Again."

"I love you, Alex."

Pressing down hard on her pubic bone, he sent little shock waves of friction through her clit. She gasped, digging her fingernails into his upper back, feeling the entire bed shudder beneath them, glancing over to see the cat watching with bored yellow eyes.

Before she could be embarrassed by the feline's scrutiny, he kissed her again, drawing all of her attention, making her toes curl. His hips slammed between her legs, faster with every passing second, so close to making her scream.

"Say it, baby. Tell me you love me."

"Yes, oh God. Mmmm" She gasped again, her thighs tightening as she neared orgasm. "I love...you...so...much."

Two more hard thrusts and he threw his head back, groaning through clenched teeth, shuddering with the force of his climax. And when the tension left his muscles, he settled down bonelessly on top of her. His face pressed against her hers, his rapid breathing washing over the sweat on her skin. She turned her head even more, to meet his gaze.

"I don't want you to leave me."

He reached up to push her hair away from her eyes, his fingers lingering to trace the curve of her ear. "I'm coming back, Sabryn. I promise you that."

"You'd better."

Rolling to his side, still joined with her body, he tucked her thigh over his hip and pulled her tight against him.

"I love you, too, baby."

Part Twelve: How Can I Not Love You?

Summary: Parting is such sweet sorrow....

In loving memory of another, who went away far too soon. I miss you, Bob.

Also, the title for this chapter was shamelessly stolen from the love theme on the "Anna and the King" soundtrack. Beautiful song, makes me cry every time. Yep, I'm a big old sap.

"Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle, and kindles a fire."
--Francois, Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

He was named for the most powerful angel in Paradise.

Michael, the archangel, God's mighty soldier. Protector of righteousness, conqueror of Lucifer in the great War of Heaven. Defender of man. Prince of all angels, leader of the celestial armies, and angel of the Last Judgment. Looking at the man before her, she could almost believe he was the very same holy being incarnate. Caressed by morning sunlight, the warrior's battle scars evident on his supine body, cloaked in the innocent nudity of Eden itself.

Still others would take one look at him and liken him to the Grim Reaper. Death in man's clothing, donning the mourning colors with as much familiar ease as Satan's minions. A murderer, a torturer, sinner, and wicked destroyer. Thief and villain, sooner the Prince of Darkness himself than any divine, sacred being.

But whether he called himself Mikhail Alexei Antonov or Alex Krycek, he was just a man. A mortal, as easily wounded and slain as any other. And there was a good possibility this mission into the unknown, to search for a man he despised, could very well get him killed.

It was hard to understand the rivalry between Alex and Fox. They were so alike, these men who believed they could save the world alone. They should have been on the same team from the beginning. Maybe, together, they'd have a slight chance of returning alive. But they chose to fight their battles in different ways, to see themselves on different sides. If Fox Mulder was truly their savior, did that make Alex a human version of the antichrist?

She couldn't believe that for a second.

Lying across his legs, Cheeser opened one yellow eye to peer at her before stretching and curling up to sleep. The assassin and his kitty. It was almost comical.

She knew she should be waking him up to get ready, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. He had a long enough road ahead. A few more hours of sleep wouldn't hurt him any. Slipping out of the bed, she headed over to the door and stepped out to get dressed. The loft was warm with the heat rising from the dying fire, and the bed was empty since Jolie had chosen to sleep with her parents. It was almost too quiet in the house. Pulling on a bra and a clean pair of underwear, she tried to ignore how hard her hands were shaking. It was nearly impossible.

The tiny jewel paints of her necklace glittered in the gray light, the palette resting so comfortably over her heart. She was almost surprised it wasn't bouncing around with each violent pound of her heart beat.

When she'd finished dressing and made coffee in the kitchen, she tiptoed past the bedrooms and slipped on her shoes before heading outside. She shivered slightly, wrapping her hands around the hot mug, before sitting down on the sheltered steps and gazing out at the three inches of snow covering the ground. It was too pretty to be the end of the world. Far too serene.

Much too beautiful to say goodbye.

Taking a sip of bitter coffee, she heard the door open and saw Cheeser come scurrying out, running around the corner, in search of a dry bit of ground to claim as her litter box. Smiling slightly, Sabryn glanced back to see Alex already dressed in jeans and a beige turtleneck sweater...looking almost ready to go. She pulled in a shuddering breath, staring down at her mug. She started slightly as he sat down behind her and put his legs on either side of hers, scooting forward to lean his chin on her shoulder.

"You were gone when I woke up." His voice was sleep-rough, and incredibly sexy. "I reached over and there was nothing there."

"I didn't want to wake you. You hadn't slept all night."

"I can sleep later," he said, grabbing the mug out of her hands to take a sip of his own.

"You won't have a chance to sleep later, and I'm not about to let you go when you're exhausted."

"You mean you're actually letting me go?" he teased.

"It's not like I have a choice." She swallowed heavily, fighting the urge to lean back against his warm body. "Why are you doing this, Alex?"

"I already told you--"

"I know what you told me. Now I'd like to hear the truth."

He exhaled, his breath warming her ear. "There are things that need to be resolved. People that need to be punished for their betrayal."

She turned slightly, meeting his gaze over her shoulder. "You mean killed."

"Not everything is that simple. As much as I'd like to blow some of them away, I'd much rather see them suffer for what they've brought upon us."

"But if they're making a vaccine...aren't they trying to save us?"

"They never meant for anyone but themselves to be saved. They cut a deal because they were too afraid to fight back. So while they survive colonization, and act as the aliens' ambassadors, the rest of humanity is supposed to pay for their cowardice. I'm not going to stand by and watch that happen."

"What are you planning to do?" When he didn't answer, she turned even farther on the step to face him. "Alex?"

"I don't think you want to know."

She blinked rapidly, feeling sick to her stomach. "You aren't coming back, are you?"

"I told you I would--"

"Yes, and you lied to me...for the first, and the last time."

Lowering his gaze, his dark lashes hiding his eyes, he said, "I don't know what's going to happen, Sabryn. But I'm going to fight my ass off to come back to you. You can believe that much."

Setting down her mug, she stood and stepped down the stairs. Walking across icy snow in a thin pair of canvas shoes. Wearing nothing more than jeans and a light cotton blouse. She didn't give a shit about the cold. She would have been freezing even surrounded by a blazing fire. No particular destination in mind, she kept walking. Fighting boiling emotions, nausea, and most of all, the pathetic urge to beg him to stay.

She could hear footsteps behind her and turned, putting her hand up to halt his approach. "Leave me alone."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm just walking."

"It's fucking cold out here. It's gotta be about twenty degrees."

"I'm fine."

"I don't think you are."

She stopped her backwards progression, laughing bitterly. "Who are you to tell me that, huh? You think you know me better than I do?" She licked her dry lips. "Well, fuck you, Alex, because I'm perfectly fine. I can take care of myself."

"So I've noticed."

"I've been doing this a hell of a lot longer than you could imagine. I don't need you, damn it."

"No, you don't."

"I wished for so many years for a man to come into my life, someone to love who would love me in return...but I get it and it's gone in the blink of an eye. I was better off alone. No one to bother with but myself. No one telling me what was right and wrong."

"If you want to believe that--"

"I do. I do believe that." She clenched her fists, wanting to sock him in the face. "I don't need you. I don't want you. And I don't give a damn about what you do, or if you ever come back. So have a nice life."

He stepped closer, despite her outstretched hand, grabbing hold of her before she could back up. "I love you, too."

"Don't--"

He ran his fingers through her hair, pulling her closer as he kissed the edge of her mouth. Her lips quivered at the touch, her whole body shuddering, aching, torn between pushing him away and desperately pulling him closer.

"I'm sorry, Sabryn."

"I don't want you--" She choked on her next breath, hiccuping painfully. "I don't want you to go."

"I know."

Resting his forehead against hers, he stroked his thumb over her lips. Back and forth, over every edge and crevice, as if memorizing by touch. She had to close her eyes against the stinging tears welling there. Leaning into the hand he held against her jaw, wrapping her fingers in his sweater and holding on tight.

"You've got your family here. That's all you need."

She sniffled. "Don't tell me that."

"You'll make it through this. Just remember what I told you about the aliens. Keep a loaded gun nearby, and don't go anywhere alone. Get to the silos as soon as you can and stay there until you absolutely have to come out--"

"Screw making it through that...how am I supposed to make it through you leaving?"

He smiled slightly. "You can take care of yourself, remember?"

"I'm full of crap."

"Bullshit. You have never needed me, Sabryn. And you never will."

Fisting her hands even tighter in the knit fabric, she said, "Why are you doing this, now?" Adding a little shake to emphasize each word. "Why is it so important to punish these men? Why can't you just let them go?"

"They need to pay."

"No, there's more than that. I can feel it."

"Mulder and I have a common enemy, a man who has to be stopped."

"Why now? Why not before?"

"I could have killed him a million times, but waiting for the invasion had its rewards. Mulder's sister, for one."

"Why do you suddenly give a damn about Mulder or his sister?"

"Believe it or not, despite certain orders, I've been trying to help him all along."

She couldn't help the skeptical look she gave him.

"OK, so I like fucking with his head...but if I really hated the guy, he would have been dead a long time ago. He's useful to me. And I'm useful to him."

"What about the woman, Marita? Walter told me she betrayed you. Why would you want to help her?"

She could feel him tense up, as he lifted his head and stared into the distance. "It's a long story. She also helped me escape from Mulder this time. I used her, and she used me. Why she saved me this time, I don't know."

"You 'used' each other?"

"I slept with her for information. I didn't realize until too late that she'd done the very same thing."

"How romantic."

"It was a job."

"Sort of like your mother's?" She regretted the words the minute they escaped.

His eyes narrowed as he stared at her. "I guess you could call it that."

"Did you care for her?"

"No."

"Were there ever any 'jobs' you did care for?"

"No."

She didn't know whether to be happy about that, or to feel sorry for the women he'd left behind. The former won easily. "I hope there aren't any further assignments in your future."

"There won't be." He didn't have to clarify his answer. And the sudden shudder rippling down her spine had nothing to do with the temperature. "Let's go inside."

Nodding, she took hold of his hand and followed him back to the cabin.

"Will I sound petty if I admit I'm jealous she gets to spend New Year's Eve with you?"

"Baby, you're the only one I'll be kissing that night. No matter where I am."

Sabryn waited in the downstairs bedroom, stripping the sheets from the bed to replace them with new ones, while the rest of her family said their awkward goodbyes to Alex. Other than the predictable 'good luck' and 'take care,' she couldn't possibly fathom what they'd have to say to him. Yet, as she stood there, glancing every so often at the open doorway, she noticed her brother take him aside and speak to him privately. The tone hushed and confidential, the expression on Alex's face was neither angry or amused...but oddly serious. After a moment, he nodded, and John stepped away.

Frowning slightly, she picked up the pillow next to her and was about to strip off the case when she caught a hint of his scent on the fabric. She brought it up to her nose, breathing in deeply, hugging the pillow tight to her chest. So maybe this one didn't need to be washed just yet. Maybe she'd even put it on her own bed.

Tossing it on top of the pile on the floor, she could hear the sound of Walter's voice but couldn't make out what he was saying. Judging by the authority of his tone, he was no doubt demanding Alex find Fox and Agent Scully. She couldn't imagine him having much more to say than that.

Sitting on the bare mattress, she took a deep breath as Alex appeared in the doorway. "It's about time I head out."

She nodded, reaching for the headboard where his coat was draped over the post. The coarse wool felt good in her hands, brought back too many memories. Just as she stood up, Cheeser hopped onto the bed and meowed...waiting for Alex to pet her.

Standing close enough to touch, he stared down at Sabryn as he patted the cat on the back. "You're going to have to take care of her for me."

She nodded. "She'll miss you terribly, you know."

"I know. I'll miss her too."

"I wasn't talking about the damned cat."

"Neither was I."

Her arms shook as she held up his coat, slipping it first over his prosthesis, and then up his other arm. Lifting the heavy jacket onto his shoulders and smoothing it into place. He turned around to look at her, his expression unreadable, before taking her hand and walking outside. Her family and Walter waited respectfully inside, each giving her a sympathetic look as they stepped out the door.

Following him outside, she had the strongest urge to hop in the truck and run away with him. Wouldn't Johnny have a fit about that, she thought to herself.

Halfway down the stairs, he leaned against the railing and turned to her. "Your niece is an interesting kid."

"Jolie? Why do you say that?"

"While everyone else was saying a begrudging goodbye, she tugged me down to her level and whispered in my ear that, for my information, she didn't really think I was a motherfucker."

She laughed so suddenly she nearly snorted again, her face turning bright red with deja vu. She covered her mouth, giggling at the amusement on his face.

After a deep breath, she said, "I don't believe her. She never fails to make me blush."

He touched her burning cheek, his fingers cold against her skin. "Good for her. Red looks good on you."

Blinking slowly, she felt the humor slide away like melted snow. Crossing her arms over her chest, she glanced over at the truck, its engine idling, and said, "Drive carefully. No sense in going if you're just going to get in an accident on the way."

"Yes, Ma'am." He gave her a mock salute, earning a tiny smirk. "You take care of yourself. I'm planning on wearing you out when I come back."

*If you come back.*

Her chin wobbling, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. Closing her eyes tight, and breathing him in. Placing a frantic kiss to his neck, his chin, his cheek, and finally his mouth. A desperate, needy kiss. Every ounce of passion she possessed. Drowning herself in his embrace, standing up on tiptoe to seal their mouths even tighter. Her hands on either side of his head, fingers threading through his hair, palms covering his cold ears. Trying to ignore the shaking of her limbs. With a soft suction sound, he released her lower lip and stepped back, down the stairs, still clutching her left hand.

"Be safe, baby. I love you."

She gasped suddenly, letting go of his grip. "Wait, don't go yet."

Darting back into the cabin, past the concerned expressions of her family, she rushed over to the ladder and hurriedly climbed to the top.

"Bryn, slow down before you fall on your head!"

Stumbling over her own foot, she caught her balance and raced around the bed, dropping to her knees to dig around under the bed frame. Throwing clothes and shoes out of the way, nearly knocking over a lamp in the process.

"Damn it," she muttered, barely noticing the pain of a fingernail torn loose in the process.

"Sabryn, what are you looking for?" Caroline called out.

"Sweetheart, you're gonna hyperventilate..."

She didn't bother to answer. Reaching back, her fingers skimmed over glossy paper and she clamped down hard on the object. Pulling it out from under the bed, she hurried back to the ladder and started climbing down. Losing her footing somewhere around the third rung and only managing to stay upright as her brother caught her in mid air. She didn't stick around to thank him. Running back to the door, she flung it open and hurried down the stairs, sprinting across the snow, in time to meet Alex as he opened the door to the truck.

Out of breath and shaking like she'd run a marathon, she handed him the picture. He looked at the likenesses of her as a child and her father, and frowned.

"I can't take this."

"Please, I want you to have it."

"Sabryn--"

"Don't forget me, OK?"

"Not in a million years."

She threw her arms around his neck one last time. "I love you, Mikhail Alexei. For the rest of my life. I'm yours, always yours."

Squeezing her tight, he buried his face against her neck. Undeniably shaking. Pulling back for one last, soft, lingering kiss. Sweeter than all the rest, and oddly more intimate by far.

And when he stepped away, he climbed into the truck and didn't look back. Shifting into reverse and turning the wheel. Backing up, before driving right out of her life. She stood there until the tail lights disappeared, clutching her necklace in her fist, fighting childish tears.

A losing battle.

Yep, it's gettin' to be that time again--when I switch gears, and titles, to get ready for a whole new section of the story. Now you're probably wondering if this thing is ever going to end! Yeah, well, it will. Eventually. For now, keep your eye out for part three of my series, which I've entitled, "Mikhail's Fire". Thanks so much for your continued support. S novym godom!