No Time To Lose

In a moment filled with silence, he felt the energy.

He felt the rush, the adrenaline, the masculinity that raced through him when they were together. And then it was gone. It was like staring into a void. The memories were distant. They could never be regained.

Her eyes were shallow and cold, he reflected, from the treatment they gave her.

It wasn't her fault-- or was it? She'd double-crossed him - and people knew not to double-cross Alex Krycek.

As soon as he'd stopped when Jeff had called his name, he'd known something was wrong. He should have kept walking. He should have just left when the figure came out into the light, some unknown entity which they'd tested. But he didn't. He wanted to know what it was.

Who it was.

It had held his attention - and now, he couldn't stop thinking about her. The macho attitude from before had disintegrated into nothing.

Shut up, Alex.

He heard that now, the devil on his other shoulder to counter the saint. Stop being such a wimp. You're a man - and in this mess, it's everyone for themselves.

But- but what about her future... her life? What would become of her?

His mind drifted from one extreme to another.

The hero facing the villain.

The person he used to be.

The situation had made him like this, he thought.

He thought of the time they shared together-

Stop being so goddamned sentimental. She's gone.

Probably dead.

If not, then she's going to be.

Her beauty had gone long ago, he thought. That's why he'd been so surprised when he saw her. She was a shadow of her former self; if you could call it that. Her seduction and her sexiness and her... well... her qualities all gone. That's why he'd left her there. She was no use to them... she was no use to him.

He'd used her and left her.

Just like that.

Great, Alex. Well done.

His mind drifted further now; into the future.

He'd often wondered what he'd end up with when he first started at the Bureau. A family. A wife. A home. A job. A car. The love of others around him.

He sighed.

Enough of the sentiments.

It was too late for that now.

It was every man for himself.

He picked up the gun.

Yes...

It was every man for himself.