Peace And Quiet

Mulder looked so cold and distant, not like the old Mulder I knew; the man with kaleidoscopic eyes and face, changing eye color and expressions with his mood. Now a hang dog look, next he'd be smiling enigmatically, like he had a secret that he was contemplating telling you.

The first shot had taken me by surprise. I'd left myself open, vulnerable. Did he have to shoot me in my good arm? Bastard! Walter was always a cold one. I think the war in Vietnam did something to him. I guess I can understand that. The constant fighting wore you down, the unknown was lurking; some nameless monster was ready to find you and eat you alive unless you kept one step ahead of it.

My legs were shaking like a drying up alcoholic. My arm was useless. It had been some time since I'd last felt so helpless.

The second shot was a given. I mean, come on, I was still mobile and conscious, I'm sure he thought I was a threat. The pain was unbelievable, like liquid fire in my chest. It took my breath away, the pain and shock. I knew I would pass out or maybe even be dead within a few minutes if I didn't get any help. I giddily thought to myself that I had to explain everything before my last breath rattled out of my throat.

I looked at Walter and saw only cold fire in those eyes, eyes that had once looked at me with lust in their deep brown depths.

I glanced again at Mulder and saw his expression, perplexed, but nonetheless it mirrored Skinner's.

I thought back to nights when I dared to touch Mulder, risking a punch in the face. His skin was smooth as silk, his lush mouth finer still, like drowning in the sweetest nectar.

Nights in Walter's arms when I was supposed to seduce him to lure him in my trap were just as sweet. He was stronger than me but his arms only crushed me to him in desire. His strength was never used against me as it was later.

I stood for a brief second when the third shot came. Damn! I didn't think the man had it in him. I looked at Mulder for a moment, disappointed by the unmoved expression. My last thought was that I would never be his human punching bag again. I'd never find a welcoming as cold as Skinner's either.

Maybe finally, I'd get a little peace and quiet.