Safe Harbors

Alex was pacing up and down the hall. I had tried several times to get him to sit but he was too nervous.

"Fox, where is he?" he wailed as he made another trip down the hall.

"Alex, he'll be here. He promised, you didn't he? Has he ever broken a promise to you?"

"No, but what if....."

"No what ifs, Alexei." Walter's deep voice flowed as a soothing balm over our Rat. Alex swung around and ran to Walter, climbing him like a tree. I was relieved to see Walter appear. I knew Alex couldn't get through this without him. Alex loves me but Walter is the only one who makes him feel safe. He really needed to feel safe just then.

Alex had been having headaches. Not just now and then like most people but daily. The pain so severe that he would cry. Nothing the doctors tried had helped. So finally they scheduled him for a MRI. Now our Alex is strong and braver than I knew for years but the thought of confined spaces was not something he handled well.

The day the doctor told him that he was scheduling him for the MRI, he came home a wreck. Walter had taken one look at him and gone into full blown protector mode. It took him less than ten minutes to find out what the doctor wanted to do.

"I can't do it, Sergei. I just can't. It's too much like the silo. I can just keep taking the medication. It's probably just stress. They'll go away."

"Alexei, stop. Calm down. You have to do this, love. For Fox and me. Don't you see that? What if it's a tumor? They might be able to treat it easily. If you wait, that might not be possible. We want you well, love. We can't stand seeing you suffer like this."

"Sergei, you know how I feel about small spaces. I can't, please, don't make me."

"Alexei, I have to. We need to know what's wrong so you can get better. I'll be there with you. I'll make them let me stay in the room with you. You can do this for me. Can't you, my love?"

Walter had been holding him, rocking him as he talked to him. His tones low and warm.

"Fox, go get the jacuzzi going, please."

I got the tub ready, adding the musk scented oil that seemed to help soothe our Alex lately. I was about to call them when Walter led him in. I moved to help Walter strip him. We eased him into the tub. Walter stripped and stepped into the tub with him. Alex scooted forward to let Walter settle behind him. I dropped a kiss on Walter's head as he wrapped those strong arms around our beautiful Alex.

"I'll go get us some munchies for later."

Walter nodded at me and mouthed 'Call, Scully'. The unspoken communication being twofold. 'Find out who is the best in this field and get the comfort I know you need from her'.

I'll never know everything that was said between them that day. I do know that when I got back from talking to Scully, Alex was prepared to bite the bullet and undergo the test. I never asked Walter how he got Alex to agree. I'm sure it was emotional blackmail with a little logic and alpha male domination thrown in. Walter is very good at getting his lovers to do what he knows is right for us.

I joined my lovers in the big tub, nesting my body in front of Alex and feeling his arm snake around me, holding me as tightly as Walter was holding him. We soaked for a long time, allowing the jets and warm scented water to work their magic on us. We eased our Alex out of the tub and Walter held him as I dried his body. Walter picked his unresisting body up and carried him like a child to our big bed.

Once he fell asleep, Walter led me to his den to talk.

"Ok, what did Scully tell you?"

"She said that the best specialist is Dr Jonas. She'll contact him for us and get him involved. She said not to postpone the MRI. That will need to be done no matter who his doctor is. Walter, I'm scared. What if this is something they did to him? We can't lose him."

"We aren't going to. Do you hear me, Fox? You can't let him know you are worried. He needs us to be strong for him. We *will* get through this."

I realized then that I wasn't being fair to Walter adding my fears to his. I wrapped my arms around him and we clung to each other for a long time. Finally he pulled back and kissed me gently.

"Did Scully say anything else that I need to know? Don't keep anything back, Fox."

"She said they will try to keep you out of the room while the MRI is done. She said she would warn the technician that trying to keep you out would be like trying to stop a charging bull."

I grinned as he moaned, "God, now you have her calling me that, too?"

I watched as Walter held Alex. Scully's voice broke them apart.

"Alex, they're ready for you. Mulder and I will be in the room with the technician. Walter, I told them you wanted to be in the room with him. They will try to talk you out of it. I told them it wouldn't work but they'll try anyway. The changing room is the third door on your left."

Walter reached to squeeze Scully's hand, "Thanks for being here for us, Dana. It means a lot. Come on, Alex. Let's get this done."

I watched as Walter led Alex down to the changing room. I followed Scully to the outer room where the technician would be performing the MRI.

"Mulder, how are they holding up? I know this is hard for all of you."

"Walter's being a rock. Alex couldn't do this without him. Walter takes such good care of us, but I know this is tearing him apart. It's something he can't *fix* and he hates that. Alex just keeps clinging to us. You saw how he was with Walter in the hall. If he wakes and we aren't there, he panics. It's been a tense few days. I'll be glad when this is done. At least he'll be able to relax a little."

Scully introduced me to the technician who once more asked if she had talked Walter out of being in the room.

"I didn't even try. You don't know these men the way I do. Walter does what he knows is right when it comes to his partners. Alex would never be able to get through this procedure without him there. Just do the test as quickly and efficiently as possible."

I saw Alex and Walter coming into the room from the side door. Alex as white as a sheet and Walter's firm look telling me there had been a last attempt by Alex to get out of this. Either Scully's words or the look on Walter's face must have made an impression, because the technician didn't even try to dissuade Walter.

Walter helped Alex up onto the table, held his hand while the technician explained the procedure. Alex's eyes never left Walter's. When the technician finished, Alex told him that he understood, to please just hurry. He lay down as instructed, keeping a tight hold on Walter's hand.

The technician moved past me as I bent to kiss Alex, "Walter is going to be here every minute so don't worry. I'll be in the other room with Scully."

I went back into the control room with Scully. She reached out to take my hand to help ground me.

"Mr. Skinner, you...."

Scully covered the mike with her free hand, "He knows. Just do it quickly, please."

He nodded and started the machine. Walter walked beside Alex as it began to move. We could hear his voice as he talked to him.

"Alex, I want you to close your eyes now. Listen to my voice. You're safe. You're with me. I will never let anyone hurt you again. Remember the reward I promised you. Pretend you are home, safe in our bed, waiting for Fox and me to join you. Do you hear me, my voice deep with the anticipation? And Fox, all gentle teasing, giving us both his gift of laughter."

Scully reached to shut off the intercom so the rest of what Walter said to get Alex through his fear was between them. I held on to her tightly as the test was completed. When Alex's body reemerged, Walter took his hand as soon as it cleared the machine. I was through the door and beside them as Walter pulled Alex into his arms, wrapping my arms around him from the other side.

"All over, love. I'm proud of you. I love you."

"Bastard! I love you, too." Alex's voice was shaky but there was no panic. I began to wonder just what Walter had promised as a reward. I wondered if that was the reason he had been late.

"Come on, let's get you dressed and we'll get out of here. Fox, will you ask Scully when we can expect to hear from the doctor, please?"

"Sure, Walter. I'll meet you guys in the hall."

A half-hour later we were in the car with Walter driving. I smiled when we pulled up at a men's spa. So at least part of the reward would involve being spoiled. We checked in and were led to a changing room. We undressed and followed the instructions to the room with the mud tub.

Walter had made arrangements for us to have what is called the lovers' special. The place has separate areas for its straight clients and the gay ones. The tub in the room we entered was big enough for six. Walter stepped in first, holding out a hand for Alex. I steadied Alex as he stepped in to join Walter. Once they were settled, I joined them. The three of us lined up like in our jacuzzi at home: our beautiful Alex in the middle.

We all relaxed, Alex sighing softly. We had first come here on Alex's last birthday. Walter had heard about the place from an old marine buddy. The guy swore it was an experience that everyone should have at least once. So Walter had made the reservations and brought us. Alex had gone on for days afterward about how relaxing it had been. Every time he brought it up, Walter grinned from ear to ear. So, I wasn't surprised that Walter had offered this as a reward.

We sat quietly for a long time, just holding each other and sipping on the icy water when the attendant offered it. Before Walter took us there that first time, I wondered why anyone would willingly sit in mud.

It's amazing really. The feeling of being supported is different from any other I've ever felt. The warmth is soothing. The little bubbles running up your crack can be entertaining too.

We spent an hour relaxing in the tub. When the timer Walter had set went off, we realized that Alex had drifted off to sleep. We hated to wake him but we had the other joys of the spa to experience. Walter and I helped him into the shower and used the hand held sprayer to clean him thoroughly. If you've never done this, you would be amazed at the places mud can cling to you. By the time we finished cleaning all his cracks and crevasses, he was hard and giggling.

Walter kissed him and turned him to swat his ass lightly, "Go get in the jacuzzi. Fox and I will be there as soon as we get the mud off."

He turned to kiss me then ran toward the jacuzzi. Walter and I cleaned each other as quickly as possible, both wanting to get to Alex. We found him sitting so one of the higher jets was hitting his left shoulder. When we stepped in, we realized that another had been adjusted to hit his balls just right. Walter laughed and pulled him over to sit between his legs.

"Fox, I could use a little help here." I moved in to kiss Alex as Walter's mouth dropped to suck on the pulse point on his throat.

With all the pain Alex had been in lately, our sex life had taken a nosedive. Neither of us wanted to ask Alex for something he clearly wasn't up to, literally. We also hadn't wanted to make him feel left out or guilty so we had been stealing time here and there for a quickie. We had been spending our time with him trying anything we could think of or heard of to help his pain.

Walter's hand was caressing Alex's cock as I worked on his nipples. His head dropping back on Walter's shoulder, Alex made a loud groaning sound and jerked in Walter's arms. I looked down to see Alex's streaming come being blasted apart by the jets of water. Walter and I grinned like idiots at each other. Alex panted softly as we held him.

"Thank you, both. I've missed that. I know I've been a dud in bed lately. I'm sorry."

"Hush, Alexei. We love you. We just want you well again. We're glad we could give this to you." Walter nuzzled his throat again. I looked deep into his eyes and saw the fear still there.

"Alex, Walter's right. We do love you very much. Now relax and enjoy the rest of our day here. Maybe we can get Walter to take us to that great seafood place you love."

"Reservations for seven. I figured that would give us plenty of time to go home and change."

Alex sighed again, "How did I get so lucky?"

"Being born with green eyes and black hair."

"Having a cute ass and that great voice."

"Loving an idiot like me."

"You aren't an idiot!" Alex and I yelled together.

He laughed then, "Come on it's time for our steam."

We got out of the tub and moved to the steam cabinets. This is the shortest part of the experience since the concentrated heat is not good for a long period of time. It does wonderful things for your pores though. The attendant hovered near, icy water placed so we could turn out heads and drink at will. The feeling of the cool air as the cabinets are opened is unbelievably refreshing.

From there, the three of us were shown to a room with warmed blankets on massage tables. Lying down, the attendants wrapped us carefully to allow us to cool slowly. Then the facial masks were applied, icy cold cucumbers over our eyes. The lights were lowered, soft music coming over the speakers in each corner. We all drifted off to sleep.

The attendant woke us an hour later. We hurried to wash off the mask and back to the tables for the full body massage. Walter had ordered the works for us. I have to admit, if I didn't love Walter and Alex so much, I might have jumped the guy who gave me my massage, just so I could get the massage service on a regular basis.

Alex looked more relaxed than he had in weeks as we dressed to go home. At the car, he pulled the keys from Walter's hand to give to me. He pushed Walter toward the back seat. I gladly took the keys hoping that this meant that Alex was feeling enough better to *want* sex. I drove home enjoying the sounds of an aroused Alex coming from the back seat.

Once home, I drove into the garage, cut the engine and turned to find Alex mostly undressed and fully aroused. I got out and moved to help Walter haul him out of the car. Walter gave up after about three steps of trying to get Alex to walk and hauled him over his shoulder. I ran ahead to turn down the bed.

Walter placed his burden down carefully. I stepped forward to finish stripping Alex while Walter got undressed. As I undressed Walter covered Alex's body with his. God! I had missed this! Not just the satisfaction of sex but the three of us coming together as one.

Alex's hand reached for me as I joined them on the bed. Walter raised his head, stopped sucking on Alex's throat long enough to kiss me.

"Alexei, this is your day. What do you want? Any way you want it just ask." Walter's voice was already rough with need.

"I want you both to fuck me. I want Fox to do his porn director commentary as you take me. Then I want you to hold me while he fucks me."

Alex does so love the games we play together. I smiled as Walter got up so we could arrange Alex for this one. I moved up to sit against the head of the bed. Pulled a pillow over my lap. Alex was carefully turned over so his head was resting on the pillow. Then Walter lifted his hips to slide the backrest pillow under him to elevate his hips.

I opened my mouth and let 'The Director' take over.

"Alex. He's going to lube you now, nice and slick. Need you relaxed, boy, so he can shove that monster in you. He's going to make you like this. Do you feel that? That's his finger. Only one. For now. He's just getting started."

Alex moaned as Walter worked a second finger inside him and began to open him up.

"Feels so good doesn't it, Alex. He knows just how to rub over your prostate. You like this don't you?"

"Yessssssss."

"I bet if he wanted to put his fist up there, you'd let him, wouldn't you?"

"Yes! Anything as long as he keeps loving me."

Walter and I both froze. Our eyes locked and the communication was instant.

"Alexei, my love is not based on using your body. I love your body and the pleasure you give me with it. Love that you want me, but if this is just because you think that's all I want from you, then I'm not going any further."

Walter sounded sad as he rocked back, his fingers slipping from our lover's body. Alex looked up at me, panic evident in his eyes.

"Alex, we love you. We love making love to you. But you have to understand that if we could never make love to you again we would still want you in our lives. It isn't just 'fucking', Alex. Even when we play games like this. It means more than fucking to us. You mean more to us."

"Alexei, he's right. It isn't just sex. It's knowing that you want to give yourself to us. It's knowing that all the wrongs are forgiven. It's waking up in the morning, happy, because we have your love."

Alex pushed up to turn and look at Walter.

"Make love to me, Walter. Play games with me. Make me forget for a little while what the doctor might tell us in two days. I'm so scared."

We both moved to wrap our arms around him, holding him tight until he stopped shaking. Then Walter eased him back down onto my lap once more. He nodded at me and I slipped back into my role.

"Spread your legs nice and wide for him, Alex. That's it, give him plenty of room to get to your pretty ass. He's going to make this so good for you. Feel his fingers getting you nice and lubed, opening you for him. Look at him, Alex. Look how hard he is for you. How much he wants you. He's going to make you feel so good when he puts that big cock in you."

Alex twisted at my words to look at Walter. I watched in awe as Walter joined in the game, stroking himself in the best porn movie tradition. Alex's pink tongue slipped out to wet his lips. They slowly turned up in a smile. His desire for Walter so clearly visible in his eyes, his body arching back onto Walter's hand.

Walter's fingers were pulled from Alex's body to the sound of another long sigh.

"Watch, Alex. Watch him getting his cock all slick so he can slide into you smooth and easy. He's going to fill you so full. Gonna make you forget everything except him and his cock."

They were both panting, Alex moaning, Walter growling. I love what I can do to them with my words. Sometimes I think I could make them come just with my words. Walter adjusted his position between Alex's legs and slid home in one long continuous stroke. Alex whimpered and pushed back as though trying to pull Walter's entire body into him.

"He feels good, doesn't he, Alex. So big and hard and thick. Reaches places no one else ever has. A tool that big hits your prostate with every stroke. He's gonna make you come so hard, it'll take you a week to recover."

Walter was trying to go slowly, to make it last, but Alex wasn't having any of that. He was pushing back hard against Walter.

"Harder, Sergei! Please!" Alex was wailing, a tone that Walter is helpless to resist. Walter pushed Alex's legs farther apart, gripped his hips in those strong hands and started to hammer into our lover. Alex turned non-verbal then. Whining, moaning, groaning, whimpering.

"He's going to come, Alex. He's going to fill you. Are you ready, Alex?"

Walter nodded, "Come, Alex. Now!"

A final wail from Alex followed by Walter's bellow. Walter froze, holding Alex's hips so tightly he would be bruised later. Alex was convulsing under him as his cock struggled to empty his sperm onto the pillow he was draped over. I reached to caress the back of our beautiful Rat. Smiling happily as they worked to fill their lungs.

Walter leaned down and nuzzled Alex's ear. "Wow. I love a boy with a tight ass. But we have to do it again. I forgot the come shot."

Alex's snort of laughter was music to our ears.

Two days later, Alex and I were waiting at the doctor's office. Again he was pacing.

"Fox...."

"Don't go there. He'll be here."

"Of course, I will."

Before Alex could say anything, the nurse was calling him in to see the doctor.

We were led to an office and told to take a seat. Walter took the seat on the right and Alex sat next to him, reaching for Walter's hand. I stood behind our lover, placing a hand on his shoulder. The doctor came into the room and seemed a little surprised to find three men waiting for him.

"Which one of you is Mr. Krycek?"

"I am, doctor."

"Mr. Krycek, your *friends* can wait outside for you. We won't be long."

"No, doctor. These are not my *friends*, they are my partners. They need to hear what you have to say just as much as I do."

"I'm sorry. Dr. Scully didn't tell me that..."

"That I'm gay. If that is a problem for you, doctor, just give me your diagnosis and we'll find another doctor to do whatever needs to be done."

Walter was frowning and I was worried that an explosion was coming. He has absolutely no problem with people's reactions to him personally but he gets hot if he thinks that anyone is slighting Alex or me. Before the doctor could speak, the no nonsense AD entered the room.

"Doctor, if you're worried about AIDS, don't be. We have all been tested and we are faithful to each other. Our relationship has been going on for close to a year now. There is no need for worry about STDs of any sort."

"I'm not worried about that, Mr.?"

"Skinner."

"Mr. Skinner, these things are emotional for patients and sometimes friends do more harm than good. As his partners, you should be here."

Alex had tensed at the doctor's words. His hand tightened on Walter's to the point where his knuckles turned white.

"It's bad isn't it?"

"Not as bad as it could be. You do have a tumor. But you're a lucky man. It's small, in an area from which we can remove it with very little additional damage. The chances of it being benign are in the ninety percentile. You're lucky in another way as well. The placement was such that it caused pain early. Had it been to the right or left of where it is located, by the time you felt pain, it would have been too late."

"So, surgery?"

"Yes, the sooner the better. I have time available on Thursday morning, should I tell my nurse to book it?"

Alex looked at Walter who nodded at him.

"Yes, doctor, please do that."

The doctor rose left the room but was back in a couple of minutes.

"Mr. Krycek, do you have any questions?"

"I think since you are going to be messing around in my head you can call me Alex. When will we know if it's benign?"

"Your partners should know before you are awake. I'll remove tissue for the lab that will go down right away. While that is being tested, I'll use a laser to remove the balance of the tumor. That method is less invasive and causes less collateral damage. The actual incision will be small and covered by your hair line."

Alex raised his left arm, "What's a little scar? They seem to love me even though I can't hug them properly, so I don't think they'll mind a scar that my hair covers."

Walter spoke again, "Doctor, I have to know. If it isn't benign, what happens next?"

"We use chemo or radiation. I don't think it will come to that. The MRI is a wonderful tool, Mr. Skinner. Not only does it give us a view of problems that we had no access to seeing years ago, but it lets us make educated guesses. I think Alex will go home with you and the three of you will live long happy lives together."

I spoke for the first time, "Doctor, Scully told me that you were the best. I just want to thank you for taking his case. We've been through a hard few weeks. You don't know what a relief it is to have a positive prognosis."

"You're welcome, Mr.?"

"Mulder, just call me Mulder. That's what everyone calls me, except the two of them. For some reason, they insist on calling me by my first name."

"Ok, Mulder. If you guys don't have any other questions, I'll let you get out of here. I'm sure you have arrangements to make for Thursday."

Walter had threatened to shoot my leg out from under me if I didn't sit down. It was past the doctor's estimated time for the surgery to be over and I was ready to scream. Walter *looked* calm but I knew he was screaming inside. I saw the doctor coming down the hallway and jumped to my feet. Walter was actually pretending to reach for his gun when he saw why I was up.

"He's in recovery. We had a little trouble with the anaesthetic. But he's fine now. The tumor was benign."

"When can we see him?"

"Let's wait until the anaesthetic has worn off a little more. Right now, he is intubated and I've found that to be stressful for family to see. I know you are anxious to be with him. Give it about an hour. I'll send a nurse for you after we extubate him."

I fell into Walter's arms and bawled like a baby.

"Fox, he's ok. It's over. He's not leaving us."

"God, I'm such a wuss."

"No, you've just had to hold it in too long. I would be crying too but I'm too manly for tears."

I raised my head from his shoulder to see him smiling at me while the tears streaked down his own face.

"Asshole!"

"Yeah. Let's get something to eat. Suddenly, I'm starving."

We got sandwiches and soda and went back to the waiting room. The doctor kept his word, sending a nurse to get us in less than an hour.

"He's fighting the anaesthetic. So we extubated him sooner than expected."

When we got to recovery, he was trying to sit up. A nurse was holding on to him and he was struggling with her. Walter gently pushed her away.

"Alexei, we're here. You're safe, my panther. Fox, put your hand on his shoulder. Alexei, it's Sergei. Relax, you're safe."

Alex stilled once he felt our hands and heard Walter. We bumped heads as we both leaned down to kiss him. Walter smiled, kissed me quickly then bent to cover Alex's mouth. Short and sweet, but the balm our Rat needed. His lips curved up and he slipped back into sleep.

"I'm not an invalid, you know. It was my head they operated on, not my ass. Fox, talk to him. I need you guys."

"Walter, he does have a point. Unless you can't fuck him without wedging his head in the corner, I don't think it will be too much for him."

"He's only been home for a week. The doctor said he needed to rest and take it easy."

"I'll take it any way I can get it." Alex groused from his position on the bed.

Walter swung around and tried to give him that 'I eat agents for breakfast' look. Alex just stuck out his tongue. Walter groaned.

"I just can't take it when you gang up on me. So, who's the wuss now, Fox?"

"You are, lover. Come on, I'll hold him so he has to stay still."

"Ohhhhh! My rape fantasy."

Walter growled and I laughed. Life was back to normal.