Secret Silence

Part One

Elizabeth Marsden aimed and shot, hitting the target in the center. She discharged the empty clip and was about to put in another one when she heard footsteps behind her. She whirled around, instinctively pointing her empty gun at the approaching person's chest.

The attractive young man put his hands in the air casually and then nodded towards her clip, which was in her bag on the floor. "If you're going to shoot me, you might want to put that in first."

Elizabeth blushed against her will and let her gun drop to her side. The man put his hands down and crossed his arms, leaning against the frame of the shooting gallery booth lightly. "You almost done?" he asked, watching as she put her clip into her gun and turned around again, aiming at the paper outline's head this time.

She hesitated and tilted her head so that she could see her companion out of the corner of her eye. "Why? You want to use this booth?"

He laughed and smiled charismatically. He was quite charming, she had to admit that. His green eyes sparkled with a life that she rarely saw in Quantico students. "No, I was just wondering if you were busy tonight. I'd like you to go to dinner with me."

Elizabeth did a sort of double-take and then put her gun at her side again, turning to face him. "You don't even know who I am!" she exclaimed, although she couldn't say that she was displeased with the invitation.

"Of course I know who you are," he countered. "Elizabeth Marsden, most promising female student at Quantico, as of late. Good thing I'm not female, or I'd have you beaten." He winked and smiled at his own joke. A grin crept onto Elizabeth's face as she discharged the full clip from her gun and set it back in her bag.

"What time will you pick me up?"

Elizabeth checked her hair and makeup one last time in the mirror and smoothed the wrinkles out of her black dress. She hadn't gone on a date in a long time, and she was looking forward to it. The man who had asked her out was quite attractive. She hadn't ever gone out with such a looker before.

She stood thoughtfully in front of the mirror as she remembered him from the shooting gallery. Short brown hair that was parted on one side, sparkling green eyes that probably hid a deliciously sensual personality, a good build underneath the dark jeans and black turtleneck sweater that he'd worn. A shiver ran up her spine involuntarily and she jumped as the doorbell rang.

She glanced in the mirror one last time before she headed to the door. She took a deep breath and undid the lock, smiling warmly as she saw him standing on the other side, a bouquet of sterling roses in his hands. He handed her the flowers with a smile and stepped closer to her, kissing her cheek. She smiled almost shyly and stepped back to let him in while she quickly went to find a vase for the roses.

"You have a nice place," he remarked. "What do you do at night, jump out of cakes?"

She appeared in the kitchen doorway, her arms crossed and her head tilted to one side. "Nothing so crass. I dance," she teased, twisting her hips quickly in demonstration. He laughed heartily and then stepped towards her. She had to stop herself from taking a step backwards. He was very intimidating.

"I never introduced myself earlier. I'm Alex. Alex Krycek." He extended his hand and she took it, not prepared for the sharp pull that brought their chests together. His lips were inches from hers and he made her wait before pulling away, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I like you very much, Elizabeth Marsden."

"And I like you too, Alex Krycek."

Part Two

Just a little note: Conrad Strughold was introduced as being the head honcho of all Syndicate members in the X-Files movie.

"Mr. Strughold?" A timid voice dispersed through the darkness of the air-conditioned Tunisian office, and Conrad Strughold looked in the direction of the voice in slight disgust. Such interruptions.

"Yes, what is it?" he said irritably, not bothering to turn and look at the young assistant. He heard the boy clear his throat nervously before continuing.

"I have urgent reports of a situation that needs to be contained, sir."

Strughold turned toward the operative and eyed him suspiciously. "What's happened?"

"Well, it's not really a what, sir, it's more like a who." He came forward into the dim light by the desk and laid a file folder with a phone number written on it on the blotter. Strughold dismissed the boy with a wave of his hand and picked up the phone. He knew the number.

The voice that answered was withered and feeble, the voice of a man who should have died weeks ago. Conrad became instantly uncomfortable because of the absent noise of cigarette smoke being blown into the air. "Conrad?" the voice asked, wheezing in the process.

"Spender, what's this situation that needs to be contained?"

"Open the folder."

Conrad opened the folder and stared at its contents curiously. It was a dossier, but he didn't recognize the name. "Special Agent Elizabeth Monique Marsden. Who is she and why is she a problem?"

"She's from the British branch of the Syndicate. Born on March 2, 1965 in Somerset, England. Her parents were Malcolm David Marsden and Amelia Jane Marsden. Both deceased."

Conrad studied the picture of the girl. She had dark auburn hair that was up in a twist on her head, and bright green eyes that didn't seem to be hiding any secrets. She was tall, probably about 5'9" or so. But he still didn't see what this had to with anything. He didn't answer, just waited.

"Her older brother is Daniel Eric Marsden. He was traded to the Colonists for insurance several years before she was born. Her father was a member of the Syndicate. Called himself the Well-Manicured Man. Her sister, Isabelle Lauren Marsden, still lives in Somerset. She has several children."

"Her father was in the Syndicate?" Conrad asked.

"Yes. He betrayed us, as will she. She was bred to be one of us from birth, Conrad, and she may not look dangerous, but I assure you that she is. She joined the FBI along with Alex Krycek in order to watch Mulder. And now she's made an alliance with him. The project will be exposed, Conrad."

"She's with that rat bastard Alex Krycek?!" That man had caused him more trouble than he had ever been worth. Conrad crumpled the piece of paper with her picture and information on it in one large, meaty fist.

"She was the one who suggested Alex for the project, Conrad. They were lovers. But don't worry about him, he's dead now."

"Alex Krycek is dead?" Conrad couldn't conceal the surprise in his voice. He'd been trying to kill Alex Krycek for years.

"Yes, he is. But you need to take care of her soon, before she exposes us all."

"Don't worry. I'll take care of it." Conrad hung up on the man and then punched in another number. He was going to take care of this immediately.

Part Three

This should sound familiar. I thought it fit better here.

I don't want to lift the edge of the sheet. It will just confirm everything that I've been trying to deny for the past two weeks.

Mulder and Scully are arguing, but their words fade into the background. She wants to do his autopsy. I don't need an autopsy to tell me what killed him. What killed him is standing right in front of me.

I think that Mulder is telling her that she shouldn't be working so soon after having their baby. Paternity tests have proven that William is indeed Mulder's child, although no one is quite clear on how that happened, even me.

To tell you the truth, I don't care. For the past two weeks, my head has wanted to explode. I've wanted to forget everything I ever knew about the X-Files, about the Syndicate, about Mulder and Scully... and sometimes even about him. So I finally let my grief out. My useless right hand hangs by my side as I whirl around and shut them both up with the force of my voice and my words.

"Why the hell do you need to do an autopsy? What killed him was a point blank gunshot wound to the head, delivered by this man!" My left hand points at Assistant Director Skinner, and it's shaking uncontrollably. "You don't need to slice him up and analyze every body part he has! This is no X-File! There are no more X-Files, the X-Files are over! Closed! Can't you just let him rest in peace?!"

I can feel myself falling to my knees as tears fall down my face. I've wanted to cry for two weeks, but I never let myself until today.

Agent Mulder looks sympathetic, but I don't think that he knows why. If he knew why I was so distraught, he would probably throw me out the morgue door onto my ass.

I've been lying to him for almost eight years. There are times that I've told the truth, but more often than not I was covering up the truth, telling him all the lies that he was supposed to hear. I willingly took part in a scheme to enslave the world, and now that the danger is gone, I wish that I could go back and do everything over again. I would do it all differently.

Except for one thing. I would always want Alex Krycek to be in whatever life I had.

Agent Mulder should look sympathetic, shouldn't he? He let that bastard Skinner kill the only man that I've ever loved. My heart can't ever heal from that. Not after all we'd been through together. We were almost out. It was almost over. If only he hadn't gone to Mulder, if only he hadn't wanted to tell him the truth...

Oh, Alex, why? Did I deserve this? Did you? Is that why you're gone? I don't believe in God, and I don't believe in fate. I believe in people. And that leads me to believe that this happened to you because of me. All of this has been my fault. From the very beginning, it was all my fault.

My left hand creeps up under that sheet to find his right hand. Together we were whole, apart we were fragmented. It was as true emotionally as it was physically. We made each other whole every time that we were together. I want to be whole again.

I take his right hand in my left and grip it tightly, feeling the stiffness of his body. It's been refrigerated for two weeks, and it feels like I could snap him in half like a twig. "Alex, were you ever this weak? In all the years that I've known you, I've never seen you so defeated. Our love always kept us strong. And now you've fallen and I might as well be dead."

I can feel the silence of the room around me, and I finally realize that I've said something out loud. I look up at Agent Mulder, who can't seem to conceal the horror in his eyes. Scully is equally surprised, but I can see a spark of understanding in her eyes. I think that part of the woman in Scully could always see my love for Alex, just like I could always see her love for Mulder.

I look up at them through my tears, avoiding Skinner's eyes. I don't want to see his feelings. I don't want to know if he's sorry for me, or horrified with me, or sorry for what he has done. I can't look at him. It would be the end of me.

"I tried not to cry at first, but it's impossible," I say softly. "I have to cry for Alex, because I love him. He wasn't just another nameless face or faceless name that I was sent to silence. He was mine. He was my heart and soul. How can you be alive without a heart? And how can you feel without a soul? A part of him is still in me, and so I let the tears fall now, not even bothering to wipe them away."

I see Scully's lips move, but no sound comes out as I continue. I've needed to say something about his death for a long time.

"What will you think of me when I tell you the truth? What will you think of me when I reveal everything that you've wanted to know for eight years? Will you let someone kill me just like Skinner killed Alex?" I swallowed the lump in my throat quickly before continuing. "Or will you kill me yourself? Will you take pity on me and let me go? But that doesn't really matter, does it? Because without Alex, I don't care anymore." I said it all to Agent Mulder, my eyes boring into his. It was like I was frozen, looking at him. He couldn't answer.

"What will you do when you find out that it's all been for nothing? That it's all been scripted from the beginning? You were always chasing after Alex, but you should have been chasing me. Because even though Alex has done some terrible things, I'm the one to blame. The guilt and the blood are on my hands, and I'll tell you the truth now, not because I believe that it will atone for what I've done, but because it was what he would have wanted. This will make them all pay for what they did to us. There's no more running, no more killing. There is no more man with a cigarette who watches over us. We're free to tell the truth, and the truth is what we'll tell you."

I didn't even realize that I'd begun talking as if Alex were still alive and ready to tell the story with me. I'm alone.

Completely and utterly alone.

Part Four

I told you I was working fast. Granted, this part is short, but I didn't think that it would flow well if I attached the next segment to it. So here it is, the plot thickens... I have to go watch the X-Files on FX now, but I'll send more later. :)

Elizabeth stared at the man's face, which was quickly being swallowed by shadows and the blackness of the night sky outside her apartment.

"Wait!" she called softly, and he turned back to her, waiting expectantly. She bit her lip and paused before continuing. "I have to get back upstairs quickly, Alex is asleep, but I just want you to promise me that you'll be careful. Giving information to Mulder, especially about Ellens Base and the activities going on there, may endanger your life. And don't forget about an alias."

The man laughed throatily. "Don't you worry, my dear. You father would kill me himself if he knew that I made you worry. So don't concern yourself with me, I'll be fine. I'm not going to give Mulder too much information, but we have to keep his crusade alive, and dead ends aren't going to do that for us. He needs a little help. And as for an alias, you can call me Deep Throat."

Elizabeth nodded, wringing her hands as she watched him disappear into the night. She turned back towards her apartment and quickly ran up the steps, shutting the door quietly behind her. She shed her robe, dropping it on a chair by her bedroom door before crawling back into bed with Alex.

It wouldn't be long before they graduated from the Academy. And she wanted to stay with him, but in order for her to do that, he would have to know all her secrets. She was going to suggest him for the project. He would be a good ally, and he was a strong agent as well. Would be, anyway. She curled up under the covers and laid her head on his bare chest, warming her cold hands on his hot skin.

"Where were you, honey?" his sleepy voice asked, his arms coming up to entwine around her, one hand languidly stroking her hair.

"Just went to get a glass of water, sweetheart. I was a little parched after our little escapade."

He laughed groggily and cradled her in his arms. "I love you, Liz."

She sighed contentedly and leaned against him. "I love you too, Alex."