Sheer Bravado

It was inordinately clear to Scully that something about Mulder was not quite right.

He looked dishevelled, one hand scratching into his already skewhiff hair, the other clutched to the door for support. Somehow, this didn't fit in with the crisp, detached voice that had called her over to his apartment on a Saturday morning.

When she was within touching distance, he lunged forward and grasped both her hands.

"Scully, are you alright? What happened to you last night? Did anything happen...?"

She saw that he was unaware how tightly he was gripping her wrists.

"Mulder, I'm fine. Why shouldn't I be fine?"

Frantic eyes darted all over her, blatantly peering as if examining for evidence of some wrong doing. His palms were clammy but worse, he seemed genuinely wretched.

Scully's concern for her partner was quickly replaced with annoyance. She wriggled out of his over-protective clutch. Fleetingly, she passed the back of her hand over his forehead.

"Mulder, are you feverish? What's going on? And did I just see Skinner's car down the block?"

Mulder's expression dissolved from fear to sheepish and then back to fear again. He was really alarming her now. But they still hadn't progressed beyond the doorway and Scully caught a whiff of fresh roasted coffee from within.

"Mulder, I could do with a coffee. Now are you going to let me in or is this something that has to be done in the hallway?"

She didn't intend to come off sounding so spiteful. But it got his attention. His head snapped back and he stood aside to let her pass by. Yet, he appeared to have lost the power of speech, guiding her firmly and purposefully to his couch and shoving her down one end, before planting himself at the other end.

Scully remained silently frustrated with Mulder. His hand hovered uneasily over the TV/video remote. He exhaled deeply and when he turned to gaze at her, she felt overcome with anxiety.

"Please, Mulder...". Injecting some tenderness in her voice.

"Scully, it has never been my intention to trespass into your private life but..."

"Yes?"

He picked up the remote control and aimed it towards the video.

"This tape I'm going to show you... which I apologise for showing you... It was delivered to Skinner very early this morning. It, it concerns you Scully. It concerns us... and quite possibly the X-Files."

Scully released a small sigh. "Well, what is it? What is so important that you and Skinner had to watch it first before calling me?"

Mulder gulped. "Skinner didn't watch it all Scully. He couldn't face being here when you arrived. He... he left it for me to question you about this..."

"Question me?"

"Scully, I have his assurance that this will just be between the three of us. No one else need know about what you might have done."

"Mulder! Can you please just play the tape!" cried Scully exasperated. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

Mulder grimaced. Reluctantly, he pressed Play. The screen instantly came to life. There was a date and time at the bottom right hand corner.

"This is last night?" asked Scully. Mulder nodded.

The image was clear now. A very bright and clear shot of a man tipping a bell boy. A man whom Scully instantly recognised. She leaned over and grabbed the remote from Mulder. He didn't try and stop her when she pressed Pause.

"Okay, Mulder. That looks like Krycek. In what appears to be a very smart hotel room."

"Correct Scully" Mulder croaked. "It's a suite at the Four Seasons actually. It gets worse..."

Scully shot him a look of impatience and restarted the tape. She watched: Krycek lifting out a magnum of champagne from a silver ice bucket and preparing to pour it into two long, cut crystal flutes.

"I take it Mulder, that after helping himself to room service, the camera pans around to a dead body?" said Scully snarkily.

But then she saw the meaning behind Mulder's fretful state.

A very naked woman came up behind Krycek, wrapped her arms around his chest and deftly undid the buttons of his dark green silk shirt. He grinned lecherously and continued pouring. Finished with this task, the woman began to run her hands over the fly of his pants, cupping the solid bulge straining against the zip.

"Oh my God!" cried Scully. She leapt off the couch, abject horror on her face. "That woman! She looks..., Mulder, she looks like me!"

Mulder's face was a veritable circus of horrors.

"Scully, are you saying this isn't you?"

"Mulder, what do you think?"

"Scully, we don't have to keep watching this."

"No. Mulder, you got me over here for this. If it concerns me then I want to see it. All of it."

Scully sat down again determinedly. Mulder could not bear to look at her, her face grimly fixed on the TV, her expression set decidedly blank. Instead, he hopped about nervously, feeding the fish, fiddling with the laces on his sneakers, anything to get through this ordeal.

He wondered if Scully was in denial. She may as well have been watching a documentary on angling.

* Krycek swilled back half the glass of champagne as 'Scully' slid her hands back up his chest, pushing the shirt aside. She lightly stroked his nipples with the tips of her fingers, just teasing and enough to elicit barely audible sighs from him. He arched his head back against her and she raised up on her toes and licked the side of his neck.

He knocked back the rest of his drink and shifted sideways. She manoevered with him, not breaking contact but now facing him and he leaned in to her already parted, waiting lips.

They kissed and she whimpered in surprise when he filled her mouth with the champagne he'd held in his mouth. Some of the chilled liquid spilt down her chin and their tongues met to lap it up. He took another swig from the bottle and she was ready this time, taking his tongue and half the liquid into her throat and then gliding the rest of the champagne mingled with their saliva back into his hot, willing mouth.

"Alex, you've never done that before," 'Scully' murmured.

"I've never ordered a thousand dollar bottle of Krug before either" he replied smiling. "That's the best way to drink it."

He stepped back and lowered his eyes over her nakedness.

'Scully' looked impossibly gorgeous. Towel dried hair swept off her face, eyes glowing, a wet sheen over her bare skin.

She reached for him again, fingers scraping into his hair and pulling his face back down to her's.

"So what's the occasion then Alex?"

"Um, could it be because it's been nine weeks since I was in town?"

He shunted his shoulders and the silk shirt slipped onto the floor. 'Scully' groaned and let herself be taken by his passionate kiss and then scooped up into his arms.

"That hot shower got you all excited did it?" he muttered.

"Mmm, yes, it got the stench of the office off me. Now I just want the smell of you all over me."

He swung round and headed for the huge bed while 'Scully' struggled with his zip. She was dropped gently on to the cashmere throw and contented herself with watching him undress for her. He laughed at the hungry anticipation unashamedly on her face and when he was completely naked he remained perfectly still, relishing her eyeing him up and down.

She cracked first. "You are a goddamn tease, Alex." She scooted to the edge of the bed but before she could grab him he was suddenly entwined on the bed with her.

He rolled her over onto her stomach. She spread her arms out wide and softly moaned into the covers, while her body succumbed to being smothered by his limbs, his lips and teeth working their way down her spine.

"God, Dana, I just love your ass. I could bite it for ever" he said, sinking his mouth into her backside.

She wriggled on the bed and then gasped as he slipped his hand in between her legs. Her knee shot out to the side and his fingers probed deeper....*

It wasn't soon enough for Mulder when Scully stopped the tape. Yet she did so with what he could only describe as an air of wry civility, which he found almost as disturbing.

"Well, Mulder. I never thought the day would arrive when you would invite me round to watch one of your porn videos. And, humiliate me in the process."

Her expression was unrecognisable to him. She must be in shock, he thought.

"Scully, that's not even funny. I respect that you have a private life, but this is, well, this is..."

"Totally and utterly unbelievable?" she interjected. "Is there anything but sex on this video? Anything that remotely constitutes a serious crime apart from some vague invasion of privacy laws?"

She seemed unflappable and he even imagined that in her speech he detected an undertone of amusement.

"Why Scully? Why are you not more shocked?"

"Mulder, of course I'm shocked. I'm mortified in fact that someone would go to such great lengths to discredit me in this fashion."

Mulder hesitated. His next question, however, resonated as sounding very official to Scully's ears.

"Scully, what did you do last night?"

She bristled in her seat, infuriated.

"What are you insinuating Mulder? Is that why you didn't leave the room? To see if I would betray myself?"

"Scully, no! I think it's imperative that we track your movements. Work out if there's any time unaccounted for."

"You know damn well what I did last night. I went to my godson's school play and then I had a late dinner with his parents. Every second of my time fully accountable..."

Mulder squirmed on the couch. The space between them seemed to be wider than ever.

"Scully, I'm sorry. Please, I'm so, so sorry. I never for one minute thought you would do anything so foolish, but you have to admit this woman looks and sounds exactly like you."

"And how on earth do either you or Skinner know how I would sound in a situation like this?"

Mulder blushed and dropped his head.

Scully got up and walked over to him, crouching in front of him. Her voice was gentler now.

"Mulder, I quite understand your concerns. But one of us has to be reasonably sane about this. Have you had the tape analysed yet?"

"No Scully. Skinner got it at about 5 am and he came round here at 8 am."

Scully drew in her breath. "You traced the courier then?"

"Obviously Scully, our intention was to speak with you first - before an investigation was initiated."

She leaned towards him and patted his knee.

"Mulder, whoever made this tape intended to break us apart. I really don't know why you're falling for it. I can prove this woman is not me, in fact. And it probably isn't him either."

Relief swept visibly over Mulder's face. "That theory was beyond my wildest dreams Scully. Especially, now I can see you're unharmed. Um, you can prove it, did you say?"

"Yes, Mulder, I can." Scully stood up in front of him.

"Please don't be embarrassed. You remember when we were in Antartica...?"

"Scully! I don't know what you're getting at."

She started to undo her skirt.

"Whoa, Scully, what're doing?"

"Trust me Mulder."

Scully pulled down her skirt a few inches. "See this?" she smiled, pointing to a dark red mark about two inches long on her back hip. "Frostbite scar. And here..." She swivelled around and lifted her skirt to above her knee. "Birthmark at the back of my knee...."

"Now tell me Mulder if, from that very good view we had of that woman lying face down, if she has those marks."

Mulder slumped back into the couch, the tension from his limbs lifting. He visibly relaxed.

"And then there's Krycek" she added. "Or have you forgotten that Russian jaunt you two took and his subsequent unfortunate accident?"

Mulder's face crinkled into the hugest grin and he slapped his forehead.

"Scully, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking."

"It's blatantly obvious to me Mulder, that this is a very cleverly manipulated film. We shouldn't let it affect us. Now, if there is no immediate crime here, then I promised I would take my mother to the fish market. She wants to buy cockles."

"O...kay, Scully. You'd better go. I'm sorry we put you through this. I'll tell Skinner that this woman is undeniably not you."

Mulder got up and walked her to the door. Before she departed, Scully squeezed his arm.

"Don't worry about me, Mulder. I'm perfectly fine. The X-Files are safe, I promise you."

"Thank you Scully. Oh and Scully? You'd better take the tape. Destroy it. We won't speak of it again...."

The smoke in the dimmed room wafted over him. It combined with the smoker's stale sweat and whisky breath. He probably hadn't opened a window in weeks. Cancerous bastard.

It was, Krycek thought, a fitting atmosphere to be watching this smutty video, supposedly of he and, god forbid, Agent Dana Scully doing the very, very wild thing.

"Alex, this is a very serious business."

"Tell me about it."

Krycek was sprawled out on the cheap couch of the latest hideaway of his 'boss'. He had a very bored expression on his face and was barely listening to the old fart.

"Alex, shall I play on?"

"If you must" snarled Krycek. "I don't think short red- heads are my type though."

"You don't seem to have any complaints as far as I can see."

"Whatever..." said Krycek cracking open a bottle of Corona. "Let's watch. If that's what gets you going..."

The smoking man's video machine whirred back into play. They were about half way through the tape.

"Uncanny likeness isn't it? You and Mulder's pet."

Krycek marvelled that the old bugger had mastered a tone that was as whimsical as it was diabolical. He also wondered how many times the decrepit weasel had salivated over this tape before calling him this Saturday morning. An invitation he was not to refuse.

He's probably memorised every scene, Krycek figured. Sure enough, the old man directed his attention purely at the younger, gauging his reaction. Krycek couldn't blame him really. The tape was certainly explicit. It made his eyes sting trying to hold back on the explosion building up in his cock. Thank god the foreplay was over with and it just looked like it was bump and grind from now on. He could handle this. He really could...

* 'Krycek' felt Scully's nails claw into the base of his neck as he deviated their position slightly. She had been straddled above him, her knees locked tight against his ribcage. He was thrusting into her pretty hard but she was meeting him for every thrust and begging for more.

He raised himself half up and lifted her right foot over his shoulder. She hung onto his neck at first which was good. They were close enough to kiss and the feeling was incredibly deeper, stronger. She balanced herself and levered her left arm against his thigh, matching his more powerful, more intimate rhythm. 'Krycek' tried to stay focussed on her eyes, which were open and wildly delighted with this new sensation. Then her eyes glazed over. He looked the same. Drugged, spaced out. So close to coming. He barely staved off his ejaculation before she did come, grinding against his hips, a blood curdling scream and she clamped her mouth on his shoulder.*

At this point in the video, Krycek felt like he was going to have to leave the room or just shoot his load right there. He shut his eyes and tried to block out the couple's orgasmic aftermath.

Fortunately, the old pervert paused the tape. Unfortunately, when he opened his eyes he had a gun pointed at his temple.

"Alex, if you've been having an affair with Agent Scully and revealing any information to her, then I cannot be responsible for the consequences of your hormones."

"Well, maybe if Agent Scully is really this hot then I should go after her" retorted Krycek, not backing down an inch. "I'm obviously missing out on a good thing."

The old man cocked back the safety latch.

"Alright, alright" said Krycek. "How do I know that you haven't had this ludicrous tape made up yourself to use against me? Besides, it didn't exactly sound to me like they were having a conference. No secrets traded there."

"Maybe not this time. But there must have been other occasions. We've ruined Mulder enough. I don't want him driven over the edge entirely."

Krycek snorted. "So, what you're saying is that it is fine for Mulder if she gets abducted - twice - and he has to chase round the world to rescue her, but not fine if someone fucks her? Gee..."

"Alex! Don't play games with me. I know what you are capable of."

"I'll take that as a compliment, coming from you."

Krycek paused and gulped back the rest of the beer. He slung the empty bottle on the floor but the old smoker was not to be distracted. He sat rigidly in his leather armchair, within a halo of smoke.

"Look, what can I tell you? The stud who looks like me, who now, thanks to you, I wish was me, had two, geddit, two perfectly functioning arms. Guess you didn't notice those body parts?" he finished sarcastically.

The smoking man stared keenly at his younger accomplice.

"Alex. Take off your left glove." Nothing less than order.

Krycek faltered. By god, the old man didn't trust him. Talk about the most humiliating scrutiny. He began to slowly pull off his glove, complaining all the way.

"Why don't you just take out a ruler and measure me against the man in the video while you're at it?"

It had to be done though. There was no getting out of it. Not when you were five seconds away from a union with a trusty bullet.

The black leather glove came off and Krycek held up his plastic hand in a show of mock triumph.

"Satisfied? Anything else you want to see while you're at it?"

The gun was replaced in the smoker's stock dark blue jacket. He lit another cigarette.

"Well, Alex, as titillating as this morning has been, I have to agree with you. You and Agent Scully make for highly implausible bed fellows."

Krycek swiftly replaced the glove. "I take it you're going to let me have this tape and find out who is behind this then?"

"Help yourself Alex. Just don't get any ideas."

Krycek ripped the tape out of the video machine. He stomped out and slammed the door behind him.

I think Mulder had calmed down a little when I left him. I never did get that cup of coffee and now I'm dying for one. A double macchiato. The way I like my coffee now. Strong, dark, just a little bit of froth.

That tape was shocking though. For Mulder's sake I had to pretend to be rational. In the state he was in, he didn't notice I was sweating in panic too.

I'm perspiring now but for a totally different reason.

He is so quiet that I don't hear him slink up behind me, here in the back alley of our favourite Chinese restaurant. Warm, strong arms envelop me. He holds me so tight that I'm sure I don't ever want to breathe again.

"You're late" I say, a little crossly. "I thought you'd really blown it this time."

He closes his mouth over my neck, hot breath radiating through my pores. I guess I'm going to forgive him for putting us through this crazy idea of his.

"You were worried about me, Dana. Did you think I'd let him blow my brains out?"

"Something like that" I laugh. I turn to face him, relieved to see him. Relieved that we've pulled this off. For now at least.

"I guess you live to see another day then?"

I could wipe that smirk off his face if it wasn't so adorable.

"Of course," he replies smugly. "I was my usual caustic self. Damn, you looked beautiful though. It was agony sitting through the entire thing."

"Alex, I could kill you for letting me go through with this" I sigh helplessly. "Not to mention the horror of knowing who else has seen me, well..., you know."

He cradles my face in his two perfectly capable soft hands, but at least he now has the good grace to look a little shamefaced.

"Dana, I'm truly sorry there had to be a downside. Hell, I had to put up with a running commentary. Alex, you're so skilfull, Alex you're so..."

"Shutup Alex. I think you just made that last part up."

He grins that delicious grin and presses me into the wall. I want him so badly I could fuck him here and now. I've never had sex outdoors before. Anything's possible with Alex though.

"What about the tape, Dana. Did you get it back?"

We simultaneously hold up the spoils to our successful double bluff.

"Alex, not only did I persuade him not to get the tape analysed but he actually handed it back to me! Mind you, I ended up gabbling on about fish markets and cockles. Oh, and thanks for cheating on me by the way."

I really don't know how I can keep this conversation going while he's rubbing up against me.

"You mean giving the tape to Skinner first? Come on Dana, you were asleep when I made that decision. Anyway, it makes it more official. Skinner won't dare investigate further if Mulder is so adamant that it wasn't you on the tape."

He jams his body harder against mine. I think we're going to do something illegal.

"Don't look so paranoid Dana. We bluffed them. Hit them with the pre-emptive strike. Now, if we ever do become subjects of surveillance, no one will dare to believe it's really us."

"Huh. It's the riskiest damn bluff only you could have dreamt up Alex."

I just have to kiss him right now.

"And, Alex, you were lucky that your transplant wasn't discovered. I don't have an endless supply of those plastic sheaths you know."

He shrugs as he's kissing me. I don't think anything could phase him.

But I'm thrilled and impressed. Our time together is so fleeting that if we ever slip up, we need to have something to fall back on. Alex proposed we get ahead of the game. Give the interested parties some real evidence to chew on and laugh as they discard it for being too incredulous.

"I hope this doesn't mean that we're going to have to spend hours putting on that covermark cream on our respective scars every time."

His response is to bite my cheek. His mind has already wandered off. We did it. Job's over. I should just give in to the hand that's urging my crotch into a river of hot insanity.

"Let's go" he whispers hoarsely. "Even I'm not going to devour you in an alleyway."

"Alex, I'm not going back to the hotel."

He takes my hand and leads me to his car. He's got that secretive look.

"Hurry up, Dana. I want you to tell me exactly how much you got to see of our little show."

"Where to first?" I demand.

We get into the car and he points to the back seat. Blankets, a map, hamper, four pillows. I stare at him in disbelief and he winks.

"Don't worry Dana. It's a private wood. It's a nice day. And there's a mini home cinema in the trunk."

He tucks his head childishly under my chin.

"No one will hear you scream my name when you come."

God, that man can read my mind. I'm being led astray yet again.

Sweet Lord, I can't imagine anything better.